Episode 22 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one...

Hi, Xander, my name is Matt, this is my long-term friend, Jonny,

and we're from Washington in Tyne and Wear.

-Couple number two...

-Hi, Xander, my name's Ansel.

This is my sister, Alethea, and we're from London.

Couple number three...

Hi, I'm Siobhan, this is my dad, Roy,

and we're from Angmering in West Sussex.

And finally, couple number four...

Hi, I'm Maria, I'm from Bexley in Kent and this is my lovely cousin,

Jeannette, she's from Berwick in East Sussex.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

A warm welcome to the show,

we'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Of all the food groups,

he insists his favourite is probably Bananarama.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

That's good, you look very well.

-Well, thank you.

-Now... Oh, don't return the compliment!

-Now, we've given away the jackpot...

-No, but you-you ploughed on!

-You're looking very well as well. Oh, I got in there!

-Oh, God, stop it!

-I got in there!

-We've given away the jackpot three days in a row.

-I know.

-Amazing, isn't it?

We keep giving it away.

Only one returning pair from that last show and that's Roy and Siobhan.

-They were on podium one last time...

-Mm.

..got knocked out in Round One as well.

Siobhan mixed up John McEnroe and Michael McIntyre

and gave us John McIntyre.

Which is... It's an interesting celebrity hybrid.

If we did celebrity hybrids, it would be a perfect answer.

But I suspect they've got a lot more in the locker, I think.

Welcome to our three new pairs as well.

Somebody here teaches at my old sixth-form college.

-That's nice.

-That is nice.

So I'll do just literally a 20-minute chat about that some time during Round One.

Lovely. Lovely. Thank you, Richard.

Well, as you'll have gathered,

Nadia and Sam won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

There we are. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

So, remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Europe. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our European question concerns...

Countries of the EU. Richard.

We're going to give you seven clues on each board to countries that are

members of the European Union,

you just need to give us the most obscure answer you can.

There'll be 14 in all to have a go at at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, we are looking for the European countries

described by these clues.

Here's our first board.

We have...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we are. Jonny.

A warm welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. From Liverpool, but...

Yeah, so originally from Washington, I currently work in Liverpool.

-There we are. And what do you do in Liverpool?

-I'm a civil servant.

OK, there we are.

What do you like getting up to when your civil servant work is done?

I like to play sports, whether it be football...

I used to play cricket, tennis, golf... Any sport, really.

I'm a big Sunderland fan, as it goes,

so I try and get to as many home and away games as I can.

I have to say, Europe's going to be difficult for you, that'd be...

Yeah, wouldn't know much about that!

Wouldn't know much about that, no, no.

Jonny... We turn our attention to the EU.

-Yes.

-ALEXANDER INHALES DEEPLY

How are we feeling about this board of clues?

When it first came up with countries in the European Union, I thought it

might be quite good, but with the clues,

I'm not too sure on most of them.

Yeah.

But, yeah, if I was going to go for one, it would be,

"Joined the Five Nations rugby union tournament" and it would be Italy.

Italy, says Jonny.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Italy in the Six Nations.

Look at that. Down it goes.

52, not bad at all, Jonny.

Not bad. Gets us off to a good start.

Yeah, joined the EU in 1958, Italy.

Florence Nightingale was born there.

I don't know which city, but she was born there.

-I didn't know that.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-ALEXANDER AND RICHARD LAUGH

-I've got it now.

-That's a really good one, isn't it?

-Oh, that's good.

-Yeah.

-Rome, maybe, she was born in. I don't know.

-I don't know.

-Maybe Bologna.

-Oh!

-Oh, there we go.

-Thank you, Richard.

-Such a pleasure.

-Listen, there we go.

-Alethea, welcome.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here.

Alethea, what do you do?

I work as a project controller for a management consulting firm.

You work with...with clients?

I work with clients, reporting mainly is my main role.

Reporting and advising.

Now, Alethea, what are your hobbies?

I like to play golf, I like to dance,

I like to go out, eat food and drink, socialise.

Pretty much live a very active life.

Excellent. Now, Alethea,

how ecstatic were you about this European Union question?

-I know countries in the European Union...

-Yeah.

..and then I saw the clues and I went, "Uh-oh,"

and I was going to go for the rugby one, cos I knew that one.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and go with the second one

and say Czech Republic?

You're going to say the Czech Republic.

Second one down. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Czech Republic.

Oh, I'm sorry, Alethea,

not the Czech Republic for that one, I'm afraid.

Scores you 100 points.

Sorry, Alethea,

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Roy, welcome back.

-Hi.

-Roy, remind us what you do.

Yeah, I work for a research and scientific publishing company.

That's right. So, you're publishing large textbooks, science textbooks?

Textbooks, academic journals,

research papers, very intelligent people.

See, that's quite fun, isn't it? Very erudite company you must keep.

-HE CHUCKLES

-They are!

I'm not so sure about me, but they're very erudite.

We should do a textbook, don't you think?

-I think we should.

-A Pointless textbook.

Given this is where people get an awful lot of their information about science, for example.

-It's not a bad idea, actually.

-And geography.

-Yeah.

-GCSE Chemistry, you and I, thumbs up on the cover.

That's nice. If only we knew an academic publisher who could help us out.

-Yeah, I can do that.

-There we go.

-It'd be brilliant, that.

-It would be amazing.

A friend of mine, who's doing his PGCE...

Pointless was held up as a perfect tool for teaching.

-Really?

-Yeah.

So, they held up a picture of you and said, "This is a perfect tool"?

Yeah. LAUGHTER

For... For teaching.

-It's a really good idea.

-It's not bad, is it?

Listen, Roy, we'll chat.

-Sure.

-We'll chat.

Roy, what would you like to go for on our board?

Well, uh... Yep, I've got a few here.

Um... I think I'm going to go for the third one down,

"Separated from Slovakia" and I think that is the Czech Republic.

Czech Republic, says Roy.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is the Czech Republic.

46. APPLAUSE

Our new low score.

Well played, Roy, terrific answer.

Yeah, they're the biggest beer drinkers in the world, the Czechs.

Number one nation.

-For beer.

-Just ahead of another nation I won't mention in case they're on the next board.

-Thank you.

-Pleasure.

-Now, Jeannette, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Jeanette?

-I'm a teacher.

-What do you teach?

I teach English.

-Oh, I thought you were going to say geography then.

-No, I wish I did.

Ah! You teach it to whom? To what sort of age?

I teach at a sixth-form college in Haywards Heath.

-See, you remembered!

-ALEXANDER GIBBERS

You'd literally already forgotten, hadn't you?

I was still trying to work out Florence Nightingale.

LAUGHTER My brain...

-Oh...

-It used to be called Haywards Sixth Form College, not any more.

What do they call it now?

It's called the Richard Osman Memorial School.

No, it's not. What's it called now? Something weird, isn't it?

-Central Mid Sussex.

-Central Mid Sussex, that's really central.

-Mm.

That's like saying Mid Sussex isn't central enough.

No, CENTRAL Mid Sussex.

-Central, wow(!)

-Wow.

Jeannette, how fantastic.

Great to have you here. What would you like to go for on this board?

This board is all yours now.

-You can go through it and help yourself.

-I would love to.

I'm afraid this isn't a great board for me.

But... I'm going to have to guess...

And I might have to guess at the top one, um....

and take a punt at Belgium.

-Belgium.

-I know.

-That sounds right, doesn't it?

-Does it?

-I think Belgium...

-Mm.

-Belgium, is that right?

How many of our 100 people said Belgium for Waterloo?

It's right. MARIA GASPS

There we are. 46 is our lowest score until now.

32 is our new low score.

-Very well done indeed, Jeannette.

-Very well played, Jeannette,

and thank you as well, cos normally when people come on from my old schools,

they do terribly, don't they?

-We've had a run of absolute shockers.

-Don't speak too soon!

No, but that's great.

-As long as you've got one right, you've done better than any of them.

-OK, that's true. I'm happy.

Waterloo, it's actually... It's in central mid Belgium, Waterloo.

-Right in the middle.

-Shall we go through the board? Let's take a look at this.

Became a republic in 1973 with the abolition of the Monarchy...

-Was Greece.

-Yes.

Greece. Five points for Greece.

Fought a civil war between 1936 and 1939...

Was Spain. 40 points for that.

Its borders encompass over 400 named islands, do you know that one?

-That is Denmark.

-It is Denmark, yeah.

Five points for that. And partitioned for 123 years...

-Poland.

-Ah.

Poland, the answer to that one. 21 points.

The best answer on the board, joint best answers, Greece and Denmark.

-It's a tough board.

-It is a tough board.

-Tough board.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round,

so let's look at those scores. 32, Jeannette, well done.

-Thanks.

-Best score of that pass.

Then we travel up to 46, where we find Roy and Siobhan.

Up to 52, where we find Jonny and Matt.

And then up to 100, where we find Alethea and Ansel.

Listen, Ansel,

anything could happen in the next pass.

A low score from you, though... might keep you in the game.

So, best of luck with that.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board, and here they are.

We have got...

I'm going to read those again.

Maria.

-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Maria?

I'm an account manager for a large professional services firm,

the largest in the world.

Does that mean you travel to other parts of the world to talk to other professional service people?

-I have done in the past. Not so much these days.

-I see.

Maybe you travel around the EU.

Not as much as I wished.

Does this board please you?

-No!

-Oh, I'm sorry.

But it's pretty colours.

There you are. Exactly.

Richard spent the weekend putting these blue lights up.

Thank you, finally, for somebody appreciating that as well because...

-No, good job.

-It was originally very monochrome, wasn't it?

-I'm really enjoying the colours.

Um, I'm going to go for...

And I don't know if this is right, so I'm having a bit of a guess.

"A major part of the area named 'Gaul' by the Romans,

"it is the largest country in the EU by land area" - the Netherlands.

The Netherlands. OK. The Netherlands.

There is your red line.

You want to be scoring 67 or less.

If you get below that with the Netherlands, you are through to the next round.

How many people said the Netherlands?

Oh, I'm sorry, Maria.

That may well not be the last 100 points of this pass.

That takes your total up to 132.

Not the Netherlands, I'm afraid, Maria.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Siobhan, welcome back.

-Hello.

Remind us what you do, Siobhan.

I'm on my gap year at the moment.

That is right, hoping to go on to university at Nottingham,

we discovered.

-Yes.

-So what have you been doing with your year off

and what are you continuing?

Well, I work at a shoe shop...

Um, that's mostly during the week.

I'm also training for a half marathon.

-Oh, good luck.

-Yeah, thank you.

Good luck. Now, Siobhan, 46 is your score.

-OK.

-85 or less gets you through.

OK.

Not fantastic...

but I'm going to have a punt at

Jean-Claude Juncker

as Prime Minister...as France?

OK, you're going to go for France.

There is your red line.

You have to get below that to get through to the next round.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for France.

No, I'm afraid not France, Siobhan.

Phew-ee on the far podium over there.

Maria and Jeannette are now into the next round.

You are our new high-scorers on 146,

-but again, may not be the last 100 points of the round.

-Absolutely.

Sorry, Siobhan. It's like a big jigsaw of wrong, so far, this round.

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

Yes. Thank you, Richard. Now, Ansel.

Oh, oh, you've been handed a reprieve by your neighbours there.

-Yeah!

-Ansel, what do you do?

I'm a clinical physiologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London.

Excellent. How long have you done that for?

Just under two years now.

Right. Very good indeed.

And what do you like getting up to when you're not working?

I really like keeping fit, playing lots of sport,

such as football, cricket.

Really got into cycling recently,

and last year I did the Ride London Sportive,

which is a 100-mile road route

around the Olympic route they did in 2012.

Wow. How long did it take you?

Just under six hours.

-That's not bad, not bad at all.

-Not bad.

Now, Ansel, you have to score 45 or less.

Yeah. It's a tough board.

To be honest, I would have rather had the first one.

-I actually knew a few of those answers.

-Yeah.

Um...

I'm going to have a punt at the last one

and I'm going to go with Germany.

Germany, says Ansel. Germany.

Now, here is your red line.

You want to get below that red line

to be sure of a place in the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Germany.

It's right.

AUDIENCE GROANS 50 for Germany.

150 is your...

Oh, it's very close suddenly, all of these scores.

Roy and Siobhan, phew, you're in Round Two.

-Very well done.

-Sorry, Ansel, the first correct answer of the pass.

Joined in 1990. That was back in the day when we were tearing walls down

rather than putting them up, wasn't it?

Yes, indeed. Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Matt, welcome.

-Hello.

Good to have you here. Also from the north-east.

-It's good to be here.

-What do you do, Matt?

I'm currently a Masters student in mechanical engineering

at Northumbria University.

Northumbria.

I'm a Doctor of Literature at Northumbria University.

-Are you?

-Yeah. I had to wear a lurid gown in, um...

I mean, every colour that you wouldn't necessarily want to put on a gown.

-Really?

-Oh, it looked beautiful.

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

-It's a beautiful university, Northumbria.

-I really enjoy it.

It means I now have an excuse to go and visit Northumbria University,

that's what I have.

That's my perk. RICHARD GROANS

I wish I had an excuse to go and visit Northumbria University.

-Oh! Damn you, Armstrong.

-Uh!

We'll work on it.

Now, Matt, 52 is your score.

97 or less gets you through.

-Yeah, um...

-Do you want to talk us through that board...?

I think I could have a reasonable guess at all of them,

but I haven't got a clue whether any of them would actually be right.

-Reasonable guess away, Matt.

-Yeah.

Purely because we've already seen Spain and based on the name,

I'd say the top one would be Portugal.

Um...

The smallest country - either Luxembourg or Andorra.

Oh, I don't know about the third one, actually.

Um... National language... Iceland maybe?

But I'm pretty sure I remember watching Asterix as a kid

and he was from Gaul, if I remember correctly.

I think that might be France.

-France...for Gaul?

-Yes.

-Maybe.

-France for Gaul. Here is your red line.

Get below that, you're into Round Two.

How many of our 100 people said France?

It's right and you're through.

Very well done, Matt.

41. Not bad at all.

Taking your total up to 93, the lowest total of the round.

Yeah, absolutely, it is France, the largest country in the EU.

There are some really hard ones here.

This is a tough board.

The former European Commission President -

you're absolutely right - was Portugal, Barroso.

That would have scored 19.

Now, the smallest country in the EU by land area -

you sort of think it is going to be Luxembourg, I think, and it's not.

-It's Malta.

-Ah!

Malta is the answer there and it would have scored you two points.

But Luxembourg comes up now.

Xavier Bettel and Jean-Claude Juncker,

both prime ministers of Luxembourg.

It would have scored you six.

Now, all football fans know this one cos they were the Mighty Magyars,

and it's Hungary.

That would have scored you 40 points, another big scorer.

And it's won the Eurovision Song Contest seven times.

This is the country that came second to the Czech Republic in the most beer drunk, and it is?

-Ireland.

-Ireland, of course it is.

That would have scored you 31.

-So Malta is the best answer on that board.

-Mm!

There we are, thank you very much.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we have to say goodbye to with their high score of 150,

Alethea and Ansel, I'm afraid it's you.

It was very close, though.

Very, very close,

and you can console yourselves that it was a tough board, that.

A really tough board.

But we'll see you again next time and I hope you'll go much further.

Meantime, thanks very much, Ansel and Alethea.

-BOTH:

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And so we're suddenly down to three pairs,

and at the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Well, I would say...

Yes, some mixed answers there, it's fair to say.

Some very good answers and some less good answers.

But Matt and Jonny, well done.

The only two to get both answers right,

so very promising, I'd say, on the near podium.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Pop Music.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many of...

..as they could.

Billboard's Greatest Album Artists, Richard.

Yeah, in 2015, the end of 2015, Billboard,

which is the American charts, essentially,

published a list of the 100 most successful acts

in the history of the American album charts.

That's from 1963 through to 2015.

So the 100 most successful acts in American album chart history.

I just need you to name one of those acts, please.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Jonny.

Yes, you want to marshal your thoughts a little bit for this one.

I'm trying to think of whether to go for a reasonably new artist

or whether to just stick with sort of a classic artist.

Hmm.

Based on that, I think I'll have a go and say the Arctic Monkeys.

The Arctic Monkeys, says Jonny.

The Arctic Monkeys. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the Arctic Monkeys.

Bad luck, Jonny.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer there.

That scores you 100 points.

Sorry, Jonny. Nowhere near as big in the States as they are over here,

-the Arctic Monkeys.

-Thanks very much.

-Now, Siobhan.

-Yes.

Hmm.

Um...

Now that they've got 100, I'm going to play it a little bit safe.

Um...

And...I'm going to say...

-..Rihanna.

-Rihanna, says Siobhan.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Rihanna.

Oh!

Oh-ee!

-Not as safe as we thought, old Rihanna there!

-OK.

100 points she scores you.

Yeah, I would have gone for Rihanna, I'm sure.

And when you see some of the names on the list, very surprising she's not there,

but more of a singles artist, I guess.

-But, yeah, that's very unlucky.

-Yeah. Thank you, Richard.

Well, I have to say, Maria,

-we're learning something with each answer other people give, are we not?

-Mm.

-Mm!

-OK.

I'm going to go with Fleetwood Mac.

Fleetwood Mac. Surely.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Fleetwood Mac.

It's right! Look at that.

Not bad at all! There we go, Maria.

Very well done indeed.

2 for Fleetwood Mac.

Yeah, very well played, Maria, terrific answer.

And Rumours is the eighth bestselling album in US history -

20 million copies it sold.

That'll do. Yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, we're about to head back down the line.

Before we do that, let's take a look at those scores.

Only the two scores between the three pairs.

2, Maria and Jeannette, on the far podium, very, very well done.

And then Siobhan and Roy, and Jonny and Matt, tied on 100.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. So, Jeannette, remember,

we're looking for artists featured in the top 100

of the Billboard American album chart.

I'm going to go back in time a little bit and say the Eagles.

The Eagles, of course!

The Eagles. Let's find out. Here is your red line, nice and high.

There it is. Get below that and you're into the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said the Eagles?

It's right. Very well done...

-..with plenty of space to spare.

-Oh-ho!

You join Maria on 2.

Very well done indeed, taking your total up to 4.

That's brilliant work there on the last podium.

Their Greatest Hits album,

second biggest-selling album in American chart history.

They've sold over 100 million albums.

-If you stacked them all up in a pile...

-Yes?

..that would reach Mars.

Yes. Well, it depends where you started, yeah.

LAUGHTER Well, that's true, yeah.

Good point. Thank you, Richard.

Now, Roy...

Yeah, I had the Eagles in my head, but I had a bit of a plan B.

I'm going to try Led Zeppelin.

Led Zeppelin, says Roy.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Led Zeppelin.

No red line for you as you're joint high-scorers with Matt and Jonny.

It's right.

There we are, 6.

APPLAUSE

6 for Led Zeppelin,

taking your total up to 106.

Really good answer, Roy, well done. 111 million albums for Led Zep.

-Whoo!

-Neptune...

That would reach...

If you started on Pluto, it would reach to Neptune.

Thanks, Richard. Now, Matt.

-Hello.

-Matt, you have a target here.

I've got two in my head...

I'm thinking more hip-hop sort of artists,

with it being American based,

and I think one's less risky, but might not beat the score,

so I'm debating whether to take the risk or not.

I know they sold a lot of albums in the US,

so I'm going to take a bit of a punt and say the Beastie Boys.

The Beastie Boys, says Matt.

The Beastie... Surely?

Surely? Here is your red line, Matt.

It's very low, though. Let's see if you can get below that red line

with the Beastie Boys. Is it right?

That's the big question.

Oh, Matt!

That, I think, is a really gutsy answer.

I don't know why it's not on that list

but I'm afraid it's incorrect.

It cost you 100 points. I thought that was a really good answer.

Yeah, you went over-hipster on podium one there with the Beastie Boys

and the Arctic Monkeys.

Backstreet Boys, for example, would have scored you two points.

Boyz II Men would have been a pointless answer.

So there's boys on the list but none as cool as the Beastie Boys,

I'm afraid. Loads and loads of pointless answers here.

Don't forget, in America, a huge amount of country artists as well,

they sell an awful lot of albums.

Would you have a guess on any of these?

Maybe Keith Urban.

That's interesting. I didn't think you were going to say that.

LAUGHTER

No. One of your favourite artists is a pointless answer here.

Oh, Prince?

Prince is a pointless answer, unbelievably.

Loads of pointless answers. Let's take a look at a few of them now.

Carrie Underwood, we don't really know her over here.

She was an American Idol finalist and sold a lot of records.

Prince. There you go. Shania Twain.

The Supremes. Loads of other answers.

Andy Williams. Alicia Keys.

Creedence Clearwater Revival. Def Leppard is a pointless answer.

Earth, Wind & Fire.

John Denver. Jethro Tull.

Linkin Park. Kenny G.

Kenny G one of the top 100!

There you go, that's America.

R Kelly. The Moody Blues.

Tim McGraw, Toby Keith, both country artists.

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

The Stones, who were second on the list anyway, would have scored 35,

and top of the list and top of our leaderboard, The Beatles, with 49.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we're sending home with a high score of 200,

newest members of the 200 club, Matt and Jonny.

But I thought they were good.

They were clever wrong answers.

We'll see you again next time and look forward to it very much indeed.

Meantime, thanks very much. Matt and Jonny.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Maria and Jeannette, Roy and Siobhan.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our

jackpot, which currently stands at £1,000.

You know the deal, you are now here, you go head-to-head.

You can confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

This is nice, I've just realised, it is a family affair, this, isn't it?

We have our cousins and we have father and daughter.

Very good indeed.

We've had some good answers and less-good answers from each of the pairs.

But now you can confer.

I think you will be pretty well matched, actually,

so this should be very exciting.

Best of luck to both of you. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes the first question, and it concerns...

-Species of duck.

-It's fun, right?

-Yes.

-We're now going to show you five pictures of ducks.

It gets even funner!

You need to tell us which species they are.

We are going to give you letters, don't panic too much.

Some of the letters with those ducks.

It's like a dream, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-What about that?

Here are our ducks.

We have...

There we go, five species of duck.

Maria and Jeannette, you have been our low scorers,

so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK...

We would like to go for E, which we think is eider.

Eider, say Maria and Jeannette.

Roy and Siobhan, all those other ducks are yours.

-Talk us through them.

-We think A is a teal and B is a mallard.

We are not sure about C and we are not sure about D,

so it's a question of teal or mallard.

-What do you think?

-I think mallard.

-Let's go B, mallard.

-You're going to say mallard.

We have eider and mallard.

Maria and Jeannette went for eider,

let's see if that is right and let's see how many of our 100 people said eider.

It's right.

39 for eider.

Meanwhile, Roy and Siobhan have gone for mallard for B.

Let's see if that is right and let's see how many of our 100 said mallard.

It's... Oh, look at that, 89.

A big score for mallard.

Well done, Maria and Jeannette.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

That is a big score.

That is a picture of a mallard at a surprise birthday party.

Jumping out on another mallard.

Teal would have been a better score.

Still wouldn't have win you the point.

It's a big scorer, it would have scored you 51.

C is the common scoter.

It's not that common, because it scored one point.

Have you got any idea about D?

It is the only duck named after a Bond film.

I didn't even know there was a duck called...

Goldeneye. It would be a good Bond villain as well,

wouldn't it? 11 points for that.

He just looks perpetually surprised, doesn't he?

-Look at that.

-He's the one, it's his party.

Oh, I see!

The mallard is going, "You are kidding me, you haven't!

"What have you got me? Oh, bread?"

You know you mustn't feed bread to ducks.

You mustn't, I know.

Very bad for them. They were saying it's too carby.

You think, poor ducks, really?

Even them? You've got to give them salad.

LAUGHTER

It's what they said, you've got to give them salad, apparently.

Give them peas.

Peas? Also, don't give them stuff that sinks.

Don't do that. Nothing heavy.

Also, pork chops, don't give them, they don't like it.

Thank you, Richard. Here comes your second question. Roy and Siobhan,

you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question this afternoon is all about...

What about that, pizza toppings? Richard.

We are going give you five anagrams now of things commonly found as pizza toppings.

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure?

Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they are.

We've got...

There we are. Roy and Siobhan will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

That's a good one.

Capers?

Um, we only know two.

We're going to go for the second one, capers.

Capers, say Roy and Siobhan.

Capers. Maria and Jeannette, talk us through that board, if you can.

We're not sure of the top one.

The third one is pineapple.

Salami.

The last one, we think, is anchovies,

and that's the one we want to go for.

You're going to go for anchovies. Anchovies.

We have capers and we have anchovies.

Roy and Siobhan went for capers.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said capers.

It's right.

35 for capers, not bad.

Maria and Jeannette, meanwhile,

have gone for anchovies, for "shave icon".

Let's see if anchovies is right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

It has to beat 35, and it does, look at that, very well done,

24 for anchovies.

Well done, Maria and Jeannette.

After only two questions, you're through to the final, 2-0.

Very well played. What a performance.

That top one is the tough one, it's the best answer up there.

We'll fill in the other two. You're right about pineapple,

pineapple would have scored you 45.

Salami would have scored you 71.

They proved on MythBusters the other day that you can use it as rocket fuel, salami,

because it is so rich in nitrates. How about that.

-A bit of a waste.

-It is a bit of a waste.

Of the ones you knew, anchovies was the best one to go for,

but the top one is the best answer, it scored six points, and it is...

-I can't...

-..red onion.

-Oh, for heaven's sake.

-Red onion.

There we are. Thank you very much, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm so sorry, Roy and Siobhan.

This is really goodbye now.

You have done much better. The first time, we said goodbye at the end of

the first round, this time, through to the head-to-head.

Not bad. But they just pipped you on your anagram there.

It's been lovely having you on the show, thank you so much for playing, Roy and Siobhan.

APPLAUSE

For Maria and Jeannette, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Maria and Jeannette.

-You have seen off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yes!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There it is. Our cousins have won through,

our central mid Sussex cousins have made it through to the end.

Only one appearance and straight through, 2-0 in the head-to-head,

no arguing with any of that.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

You know what it's like, these final rounds. Horrific things go up on that board.

We've got a few things in mind, haven't we? A few favourites.

-Oscars, maybe. Film.

-Mm.

-Erm...

Jake Gyllenhaal films.

-To be specific.

-OK!

-Heath Ledger films.

-OK!

-Maria's good on tennis, so that would be great.

-OK.

-I like tennis.

Good stuff, best of luck.

Brokeback Mountain is basically what you want.

Yeah, anything I can answer Brokeback Mountain to!

OK, there we are. You get to choose from the four options.

Today's selection looks like this.

This is pretty much everything you asked for!

Wow.

That's hard, isn't it?

-Not the top two.

-No, thank you.

US Crime Writers is too narrow.

I would go either Scandinavian Pop...

Scandinavian Pop is quite narrow.

Or the Army.

No!

We have nobody in the military.

Do you have any other options?

Erm...

I think it has got to be one of the bottom two.

Do you not think you could have a go at US Crime Writers?

-No, I really...

-We'll go Scandinavian Pop.

It could be lovely, Scandinavian Pop.

It could land very well, but we will have to find out.

Scandinavian Pop.

Here are your three options, very best of luck,

I hope one of these suits you. We are looking for...

Any UK top 40 album by A-Ha up to the end of 2015, please.

UK top 40 single by Ace Of Base, again, up to the end of 2015.

So, tracks on The Visitors, UK top 40 albums by A-Ha

or top 40 singles by Ace Of Base.

-Very best of luck.

-OK, as always, you've got

up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win the jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

Are you confident with any of those albums?

-Right, no...

-A-ha is my era.

So, I would think...

Do you know the names of them?

I would guess something like Manhattan Skyline.

I know it's the name of a song.

It rings a bell.

Or The Sun Always Shines On TV.

-Yeah, that could be...

-Singles by Ace Of Base, All She Wants.

That's the only one I know, really.

Quite high, I imagine. The Visitors by ABBA,

I don't know which of their albums that is,

but we could hazard a guess at some of the singles on it.

If we think of maybe Mamma Mia,

maybe there is something in that that would have been on that album.

-Yeah.

-So, Money, Money, Money,...

Gimme Gimme...

Gimme Gimme Money...

No, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A Man After Midnight.

We could go for that.

Or we could go for...

-Ten seconds left.

-Shall we say Manhattan Skyline and...

All She Wants and then just do Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! for ABBA.

OK.

-We've run out of time.

-OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

I now need your three answers.

OK, we'll go for Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! on the tracks on The Visitors by ABBA.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

UK top 40 albums...

-What's it called?

-Possibly Manhattan Skyline, it's a guess.

Manhattan Skyline, this is for A-Ha.

-A-Ha, sorry.

-And All She Wants, singles by Ace Of Base.

All She Wants, All She Wants.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Probably the A-Ha one.

-You think?

-If it's right.

So, Manhattan Skyline we put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

-Or All She Wants.

OK, All She Wants.

All She Wants we put first.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

Best of luck. It wasn't the easiest board.

-No!

-But you did OK, you came up with three answers.

Now, let's see if one of these turned out to be pointless and wins

you that jackpot. £1,000, not a bad thing to be sent home with.

What would you do with that, Maria?

I want to take my sons away.

I've got two teenage boys, I want to take them away this year.

So I was thinking maybe Iceland or Cuba.

So I'd probably put it towards that.

Very nice indeed. Jeannette, how about you?

Well, I'm going to be having a baby in a few months,

so I might get a weekend away, quickly, before that happens!

Absolutely, quite right.

Best of luck with all of that.

Your first answer was All She Wants.

In this case we were looking for Ace Of Base top 40 singles.

Let's see if this is right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

If it's pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many people said All She Wants?

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, so not a pointless answer.

Which means we move onto your next answer, which was Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

In this case, we were looking for tracks from The Visitors album by

ABBA. Again, this has to be right,

then it has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people said Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Bad luck.

I'm afraid that is also incorrect.

Which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

Manhattan Skyline.

In this case, we were looking for UK top 40 albums by A-Ha.

This was a bit of a punt, but you came out with it early on,

so it must have been in there somewhere.

-Maybe.

-We just have to hope it is right, and that it's pointless.

If it is both of those, it will win you £1,000.

Let's find out how many people said Manhattan Skyline.

Oh, bad luck! I'm sorry.

We will discover from Richard shortly why those were wrong.

But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer, so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But it's been great having you on, very strong performance across the show.

You each get to take home a Pointless trophy,

so it hasn't all been in vain.

-Maria and Jeannette.

-Thank you.

You played it exactly the right way, taking a risk as well.

It's the only way to win the money,

so thank you for doing that at least.

It's All That She Wants, the Ace Of Base song,

-would have scored you 39 points anyway.

-OK.

Now it's all I've got in my head, All That She Wants by Ace Of Base,

as has everyone at home.

Manhattan Skyline, as you said, is an A-Ha song.

It was on an album, the album was Scoundrel Days,

and that was a pointless answer.

You were thinking exactly along the right lines.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Only three pointless answers here.

-Wow!

-It's not a song I know.

Let's take a look now at A-Ha.

Lots of pointless answers here.

You also could have had 25, Foot Of The Mountain, Headlines And Deadlines,

and The Definitive Singles Collection was a pointless answer.

Well done if you said that.

Five pointless answers here.

And Wheel Of Fortune.

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

and a terrific performance,

sorry we couldn't serve you up a slightly better jackpot category.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Sadly, Maria and Jeannette didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.