Episode 27 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to avoid the obvious answers

and find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Daniel, and this is me mum, Shelagh,

and we're both from Manchester.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Hasan, from Liverpool, this is my mum, Leila,

and she's from Washington, Tyne and Wear.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Becky, and this is Sandy, my friend and work colleague,

and we're from Crewkerne in Somerset.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Georgia, this is my housemate Emma,

and we've come from Sunderland.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much, all of you. A warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here.

We'll get to chat to you all in a short while.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Nobody puts Richie in the corner!

Well, no, they put him right there.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon. How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

You look very smart. I like the contrasting collar.

Thank you.

I very much like the texture on your shirt, Richard.

You didn't need to say that,

it wasn't what I was looking for, but thank you.

-And those shorts you're wearing...!

-Oh, they're good, right?!

-Gold lame.

-They're actually culottes.

Nice, isn't it? And go with the shoes.

And that they always will.

I say shoes - they're flippers. I am wearing flippers.

Now, only one returning pair on today's show, on podium one,

Daniel and Shelagh. Welcome back.

Fingers crossed we see an awful lot more of you than we did last time.

Lovely little Round One today.

-Is it?

-It's cute, it's a cute Round One.

-Aw! Little, you say?

-Oh, it's normal-sized.

-OK...

-Yeah, it's no smaller than normal.

-OK, but it's lovely?

The scores are going to be little, all right, guys?

-The scores are going to be little.

-Very nice.

-Oh, yeah.

They probably won't be. They'll probably be normal as well.

But thank you very much, Richard.

Peter and Jill, by the way, didn't win the jackpot last time -

just so we can be clear on that -

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at this.

£4,000. Look at that.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Just so it's out there - I have to say it -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon...

is...Bears.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah. Bears.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Famous bears. Richard.

-Of course it does, yes.

Seven questions on each pass,

all clues to famous fictional or real bears.

You just need to tell us the most obscure, please.

-14 in all to have a go at at home. Best of luck.

-OK.

So, let's reveal our first board of clues,

and here it comes.

We have got...

I'll read all of those one last time.

There we are.

Daniel, welcome back to Pointless, good to have you here.

-Remind us what you do, Daniel.

-I'm an executive chauffeur.

And how long have you been chauffeuring

-in an executive capacity?

-About two years.

I was in the motor trade before that, in sales.

Now, tell me, Daniel, do you wear a peaked cap

for your chauffeuring duties?

No, we don't have to do that any more. Just a smart uniform.

Do you have to pass some sort of exam to get the peaked cap?

No, I've not heard of anyone having to wear one these days,

but I'm sure there still is,

if you have to drive the Queen or something, you might have to.

You'd have thought. Anyway, Daniel, what about these bears?

-Fun to do bears, isn't it?

-Yeah, um...

I do know one that I'm thinking might be a bit obscure.

The title character of the animated series by Mike Young -

I'll go for SuperTed.

OK, SuperTed. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people went for SuperTed.

It's right.

Oh, that's a good answer. Well done, Daniel.

APPLAUSE That gets you off to a good start.

Well played, Daniel. Absolutely.

Spotty Man was voiced by Jon Pertwee.

There you are. Thank you very much, Richard.

Hasan, welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here. What do you do, Hasan?

I'm a bar, restaurant and events manager for a place in Liverpool.

Oh, now, that's fun. Was it the bar, restaurant and events place

that took you from Tyne and Wear to Liverpool,

-or were you already there?

-No, the love of a good woman.

Ah! Oh, that's nice.

All the better reason for leaving the North East.

It was going to have to be something important.

So, tell me about the bar, restaurant and events place.

So, it's a place in Liverpool.

It's very kind of a multifunctional area,

so we'll do things like Sunday roasts on a Sunday,

but then we'll do a bingo/rave on Thursdays. It's crazy.

-A big space?

-Massive space, yes. Three big warehouse spaces.

I want to go to a bingo/rave.

-It's great, mate.

-LAUGHTER

We've had The Cheeky Girls on hosting.

-Vengaboys were on last week.

-Listen, come on...

-David Hasselhoff.

-Hasselhoff?

-Hasselhoff did it.

-And The Cheeky Girls?

-Oh!

-And bingo/rave?

-A bingo/rave.

-I think so.

-Oh, fantastic.

Anyway, Hasan, what are you going to go for on our bears?

I originally was going to go for SuperTed,

but I'm going to drop the "Super"

-and go for Ted for the Mark Wahlberg film.

-OK, Ted.

Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people went for Ted.

It's right.

46 for Ted.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, a sequel in 2015 as well, Ted 2,

which I thought was slightly better.

It contains the greatest Neil Diamond joke

in the history of cinema, Ted 2.

I can't go through it, but if you watch it, you'll see it.

Sandy, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Sandy?

I'm an account manager, and I work in Somerset on a farm.

-On a farm in Somerset?

-An organic farm.

-That sounds lovely.

And organic? So surrounded by wildlife.

Swallows come flocking down, I should think, in the summer.

-Cos they don't otherwise.

-Really?

Non-organic dairy farms, yeah.

Cos of all the goodies in the cowpats. There you are.

LAUGHTER

Non-organic farms don't have that. So, there we are.

Sandy, what are your interests?

Horse racing, motorcycle racing. I don't do it. I just watch it.

You just go and watch other people doing motorcycle racing.

You can't see much of the race, presumably?

You just see the tiny bit that happens...

-Oh, no, I watch it on the TV.

-Oh, good, good. Right.

-But I would like to go to the TT.

-That would be fun.

Now, Sandy, bears. Bears, Sandy.

I only know two, and they're going to be big.

I'll go for Sooty, for the hand puppet created by Harry Corbett.

OK, Harry Corbett's hand puppet. Sooty, says Sandy.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

Very well done.

46 is our high score at this point.

62 is our new high score, Sandy.

Sooty didn't speak, of course, but was interpreted by Harry

and later Matthew Corbett. That's a nice family business.

Thank you very much indeed.

-Emma, welcome to Pointless. Here from Sunderland.

-Yep.

-What do you do, Emma?

-I'm a fashion-journalism graduate.

-Have you just graduated?

-Yeah.

-And where did you do your course?

-Sunderland.

-Very good. And what are you up to now?

Just looking for a job, doing internships.

-Are you working at the moment, doing an internship?

-No.

-In the North East, or...?

-Yeah. Hopefully Newcastle.

OK, very good indeed. Now, what are you going to go for?

This board is all yours.

If you want to go through those bears, fill in all those blanks...

-I don't think I can...

-..you'd be most welcome.

I think The Jungle Book is Baloo, but...

..I'm not sure.

No, I'm going to go for Lotso for Toy Story 3 bear.

Lotso. Lotso, says Emma.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Lotso.

It's absolutely right.

62 is our high score, 22 our low.

You pass the high score.

And you pass the low, as I thought you might.

Look at that!

Very well done indeed, Emma. APPLAUSE

Lotso.

That's a great answer, Emma. Very well played.

-It's short for Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear, and he smells of strawberries.

-Mm!

Shall we fill in the rest of this board?

Voiced by Phil Harris in Robin Hood

was Little John.

Who was a bear, obviously. 5 points for that.

-The mascot for Children In Need.

-Pudsey.

-Pudsey.

Very big scorer, Pudsey. 80.

And it is Baloo,

and Baloo would've scored you 27 points.

So Little John, best answer on the board, but Lotso not so far behind.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 6.

Well done, Emma.

Emma and Georgia are looking very strong at this point.

Then we travel up to 22 here. Daniel and Shelagh.

46 for Hasan and Leila

and then up to 62, Sandy and Becky.

So, Becky, we need a low score from you to keep you in the game.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more bear clues up on the board,

and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-There we go. Georgia, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Also from Sunderland.

-Yes.

-And what do you do?

I do magazine journalism, but I've also just graduated as well.

Were you on the same course together?

No, mine's magazine, Emma's is fashion.

And what are your interests? Well, in journalism, particularly?

What sort of journalism would you like to go on and do?

I like celebrity gossip.

-I like writing reviews on music, films.

-Very good.

What are you up to now? What are you doing having graduated?

Same as Emma. I'm looking for internships in the North East.

OK. Very good indeed.

Now, Georgia, bears. Lovely low score from Emma.

You're in pretty good shape up there.

If you can score 55 or less you're into Round Two.

I don't honestly think I know any of them.

Um...

The second one, the train station's name, Paddington Bear?

Paddington, says Georgia. Here's your red line.

You have to get below that red line with Paddington.

Let's see if you can do it.

APPLAUSE Listen, it's better than 100.

It's a little bit better than 100. 99 is your total.

Yeah, his Peruvian name is Pastuzo.

And Jeremy Clarkson was the first person ever to have

-a stuffed Paddington Bear, cos his mum invented them.

-Oh, yes.

There we are. I forgot about that. Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Becky, welcome.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here.

-You work alongside Sandy.

-I do indeed, yes.

-In the organic farm?

-Yes.

Do you have lots of other businesses as well on the farm?

It's a site.

There's lots of other businesses on the same site as us,

but I work for the organic farming.

-Very good. So a lot of dairy produce?

-Yes.

Other sort of farming produce as well,

or is it largely the dairy stuff?

Largely the dairy stuff, yes.

Mm. Nice cheese, I should think.

-Mmm!

-Mainly milk, actually.

-Nice milk!

-Yes!

-LAUGHTER

Mmm! Hm... Enough milk.

Now, Becky, 62 is your score. 36 or less keeps you in the game.

-A nice 36-or-less-scoring bear.

-Right.

There's a few I know,

but it's trying to guess which one will probably be the lowest.

I think I'm going to go for the bear that wears a red jumper

and yellow scarf and say Rupert Bear.

Rupert Bear, says Becky. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Rupert Bear.

There is your red line.

It's right.

62 for Rupert Bear.

APPLAUSE Well, you equal Sandy's score,

and your total is now 124.

Yes, Rupert Bear. His middle name is "The".

That's the one. LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now then, Leila, welcome.

-Great to have you here, Leila.

-Thank you.

What keeps you busy up in Tyne and Wear?

-Well, I'm retired now.

-What did you do, Leila?

I used to design and make ladies' clothes.

-That's fun. Where did you do that?

-Well, I was self-employed,

so I had my own business.

That's fantastic. Did you do that from home?

Originally, yes. I was doing it from home,

and I started off making wedding dresses, prom dresses,

evening dresses, that type of thing.

-Very nice.

-That was when we lived in Manchester.

When we moved up here, we got a shop and started selling from the shop,

and then we went into wholesale.

-Wow. Exciting. Exciting business.

-I did it for 30 years.

Very good. Now, Leila, you are currently on 46.

High-scorers now are Becky and Sandy on 124,

so 77 is your target.

I only knew two and they've been taken,

so I'm going to have to make a guess at...

-..Fred?

-For which one?

Um...

-The bottom one.

-The bottom one.

OK, the titular bear, the Wedlow family bear.

Fred. Let's see what happens when we say Fred.

There is your red line.

That's the red line you would want to get below.

Let's see what happens when we say Fred.

Bad luck.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 146.

Sorry, Leila. Although Fred Bear, it's a good name.

It's a good name. I'm surprised it hasn't been taken.

-Yeah.

-Let's quickly write it now.

-Fred Bear, he's slightly frayed at the edges.

-Yeah!

-But lovely.

-Sweet.

-Oh...

-Bless him.

-Aw.

-Little Fred Bear.

Fred Bear, Shelagh. What about that? Would you buy that book?

Of course I would.

Exactly. Fred Bear. Who wouldn't?

I have great news for you, Shelagh. You are through to the next round.

It doesn't matter what you score, you are through.

Shelagh, remind us what your background is.

I was a tax officer, and I had to retire early.

And what do you like doing now?

I just like following Manchester City everywhere.

That's what I was after, Manchester City.

And do you go everywhere Manchester City lead?

Yes, that's right.

What's the furthest...? China, you said last time.

China, yes, that's the furthest I've been.

I've been to Thailand, New York.

Is there a gang of you who go to them all together?

Well, I used to go with a gang,

but now I drag my world-weary husband with me.

Who isn't as big a City fan as I am.

-Oh, really?

-No.

LAUGHTER

So he was there in Thailand, in China?

Yes, but he's not there a lot of the time

because I do have a few other hangers-on

who I travel with occasionally.

Very good. Shelagh, you are through.

It doesn't matter what you score here.

But have you got a good answer on that board?

I don't know whether it's a good answer.

It's an answer!

Starred with fellow characters Zippy and George in Rainbow -

was it Bungle?

Bungle, says Shelagh. No red line for you - you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Bungle.

APPLAUSE 69 is your total.

Well played, Shelagh. Safe and sound there.

Now, the bear unexpectedly chosen to be a dragon warrior

-in those films was...

-Po.

-Po, absolutely.

11 points for that.

Do you remember the polar bear born at the zoo?

-Can't remember his name.

-Knut.

-Oh, Knut!

-5 points for that.

You all know this one really.

He's a member of the SAS, starred in Mission Survive.

-Bear Grylls.

-That was naughty of us, wasn't it?

42 points for that.

And it's Gentle Ben, so Ben is the answer to the bottom one there.

5 points. So Knut and Ben the best answers on the board.

Thanks very much, Richard. At the end of our first round

the pair we have to say goodbye to, I'm afraid it's Hasan and Leila

with their score of 146.

Oh, that was tough.

There will be a next time, which is great news.

We look forward to that very much. Thanks very much, Hasan and Leila.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

Well done, everyone. We made it through that first bear round.

Not quite as nice as it sounded like it might've been, but there we are!

We've all got through it safely,

like Leonardo DiCaprio in that film, didn't we?

Well done to Emma for the lowest score of the round with Lotso.

Fantastic. And best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Tennis Players. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many of...

The top 50 male tennis players of 2015, Richard.

Simply looking for anybody who's ranked in the top 50

in the world on the ATP Tour at the end of 2015, please.

So any of the 50 best male tennis players in the world

at the end of 2015.

Thanks very much indeed. So there we are.

Daniel, who would you like to go for?

It's unfortunately not my best subject, tennis.

I'll go for Novak Djokovic.

Novak Djokovic, says Daniel. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people went for Novak Djokovic.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 29 for Djokovic.

He was, of course, ranked number one at the end of 2015.

Won three Grand Slam titles.

Won the World Tour Finals at the end of the year as well.

-Thanks very much. Becky.

-Hello.

Now, Becky, you look happy with this round.

-No. It's all an act.

-You're just happy generally.

Becky, what would you like to go for?

I do watch Wimbledon, but my mind has gone totally blank,

so I think I'm probably going to have to play it quite safe

and say Rafa Nadal.

Rafa Nadal, says Becky.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Nadal.

Well, interesting to see how he scores

against Djokovic on 29.

There we are.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, ranked number five in the world at the end of that year.

It wasn't a great year for Rafa.

First time in ten years he hadn't won any Grand Slam tournament.

-Oh, that's got to be disappointing.

-You'd have thought so.

You'll remember I didn't win any Grand Slams last year.

-Amazing. And that run's been going on for 45 years now?

-Yes.

Amazing. You'll break it at some point.

-I hope so.

-He'll be delighted at beating Djokovic here, though.

It's the first time he's beaten him for a long time.

Wouldn't it be lovely if it was 30-all?

-Aw, that would've been nice.

-A good tennis score.

Now, Emma, what would you like to go for?

I only know two more

and I'm pretty sure they're going to be really high.

But I'm going to go for Roger Federer.

Roger Federer, says Emma.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Federer.

It's right.

Well, 30's our high score, 29 our low.

APPLAUSE Look at that. Roger Federer.

Yeah, ranked number three in the world.

We're very rapidly running out of the tennis players

-who everyone's heard of.

-Aren't we just?

It'll be exciting on the way back down.

-Won't it just?

-Oh, I am looking forward to that.

Before we do that, though, let's look at the scores.

29 the best score of that pass.

Well done, Daniel and Shelagh.

I think you'll be into the head-to-head.

We shall see.

Then at 30 we have Becky and Sandy,

then at 50 we have Emma and Georgia.

So, Georgia, we need a low-scoring answer from you.

Best of luck with that. We'll go back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Georgia, remember, we're looking for any of the top 50

male tennis players of 2015.

They were the only three I knew. This is awful.

I'm going to have to go for Andy Murray.

Andy Murray, says Georgia. Andy Murray.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Andy Murray.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers.

It's...

It's right, I was about to say,

but I was interrupted by the column. APPLAUSE

81 that scores you. 131 is your total.

-You're doing some high scoring in this show, Georgia.

-I know.

And we're now out of the tennis players who everyone's heard of.

That's officially the four that we all know.

-The cupboard is now bare.

-Yes.

OK. Sandy.

Do you follow tennis, Sandy?

-Wimbledon.

-That's enough. That's enough...

But I'm looking at the legs, not the names.

LAUGHTER

That's NOT enough, Sandy.

That's not...

I will go with Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, says Sandy.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

There's no red line for you, as you're already through,

but let's see if anyone said Jo-Wilfried Tsonga,

let's see if it's right.

It is right.

Well, our lowest score so far has been 29.

You've passed that very comfortably.

Now, that's what we call a Pointless score. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE 34 is your total.

Lovely answer. Very well played.

He was ranked number ten in the world at the end of 2015.

He's been as high as five, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Shelagh, you are also through.

I'm not sure of the name.

-Mark Ferrer.

-Mark Ferrer, says Shelagh.

I'm not sure whether...

Well, thanks to Daniel's nice low score in the first pass,

it doesn't matter if you get this wrong, but let's see.

Mark Ferrer, is that right? And if it is, how many people said it?

No red line cos you're already through.

There we are.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total to 129,

but it doesn't matter, you are through.

The surname is absolutely right. It's David Ferrer, the Spaniard,

number seven in the world.

But as Xander said, you're safely through.

Lots of pointless answers. I'll take you through some one-pointers

cos I know some people will have gone for obscure ones.

Karlovic would've scored you 1 point.

Gilles Simon, Muller, Isner, Gasquet, Steve Johnson,

all of those would've scored you 1 point.

Let's take a look at some pointless answers now.

Aljaz Bedene, who is now a UK tennis player, number 45 in the world.

The Italian Andreas Seppi.

David Goffin, who people remember that Andy Murray beat

in the Davis Cup, the Belgian.

Feliciano Lopez and Fernando Verdasco, both Spaniards.

Jeremy Chardy of France, a pointless answer.

Kevin Anderson, the South African, was number 12 in the world.

Marcos Baghdatis, the Cypriot, and Nick Kyrgios, the Australian,

who always causes trouble at Wimbledon.

He's always a lot of fun. Very good pointless answer.

Lots and lots of other pointless answers as well.

Dimitrov was a pointless answer.

My favourite-named tennis player is a pointless answer.

It was the American Jack Sock, and he was a pointless answer.

Normally I'd go through the top three highest-scoring answers,

but believe it or not we've already seen them.

-Weird, right?

-Strange. Thanks very much, Richard.

We're at the end of our second round and the pair we have to

say goodbye to, with their high score of 131, Georgia and Emma.

Well, we'll see you again next time. We look forward to that very much.

In the meantime, thanks so much, Georgia and Emma.

APPLAUSE

But for Sandy and Becky, Daniel and Shelagh,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Sandy and Becky, Daniel and Shelagh, you're now one step closer

to our final and a chance to play for that jackpot,

which currently stands - let's not forget - at £4,000.

So, here we are in the head-to-head, where we start playing as teams.

You can chat before you give your answers

and the first pair to win two questions

will play for that jackpot. It's exciting!

Now, Daniel and Shelagh, I think it was Round Two, I think,

when you left last time.

So here you are in the head-to-head.

It's always just such a relief when you get to this bit.

-It is!

-The pressure is suddenly off.

And Sandy and Becky, first appearance on the show,

and straight through to the head-to-head

as our low-scoring pair, so very well done.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play that head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And your first question this evening is all about...

Famous ships. Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of famous ships

which are dry-docked or permanently moored in the UK.

I just need you to tell us what they are.

We're going to give you alternate letters from their names as well.

Thanks very much indeed. So, let's reveal our famous ships,

and here they are. We've got...

So there we are. Five famous ships.

Sandy and Becky, you've been our low scorers,

so you will get to answer first.

Feel free to confer.

THEY CONFER IN WHISPERS

Um, we're going to go for...

SS Great Britain.

SS Great Britain, say Sandy and Becky.

Now then, Daniel and Shelagh,

do you fancy talking us through the other ships?

I think the first one is the Cutty Sark.

Um... D, HMS Victory.

We'll go for A, Cutty Sark.

A, Cutty Sark, say Daniel and Shelagh.

So we have SS Great Britain and we have Cutty Sark.

Now, Sandy and Becky went for the SS Great Britain.

Let's see if that's right for E.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

26 for SS Great Britain.

Daniel and Shelagh, meanwhile, have gone for the Cutty Sark.

A, Cutty Sark. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Very well done, Sandy and Becky, after one question you're up 1-0.

Yeah, very well done.

Launched in 1843, the SS Great Britain,

one of the first ships to be made of iron.

Who's the first person making ships, thinking,

"I know what I'll make this out of - iron"?

-That's quite...

-Brunel, wasn't it?

-It was indeed Brunel, yeah.

He had a load of iron left over from a bridge...

-Any old iron, or just...?

-It was floating iron.

-That's what gave him the idea.

-Yeah.

-It was one of those ones,

he had a load of iron left over from building a bridge,

and he was in the bath, and some of the iron tipped into the bath

and it floated, and he was like, "What?!"

-"Whoa!"

-We know what it's like.

He's always thinking, he thought, "I'll make a boat out of it.

"And I'm going to call it the SS Great Britain.

"And 170 years later, someone will answer it on a quiz show."

That's what Brunel thought, because he was a very bright man.

Yeah. Now, there was a pointless answer on here.

It's not C or D.

C is, of course, HMS Belfast.

That would score you 42 points.

HMS Victory, of course, there.

And that's 67 points.

-Have you ever been...?

-To HMS Victory?

-Yeah.

Do you know, I haven't. Is it nice?

Well, you'll spend quite a lot of time ducking.

-I probably won't go, then.

-You might not enjoy it so much.

I find that quite...

-I don't think I would've been a very good sailor.

-No, you wouldn't.

-They're all quite small, boats, aren't they?

-They are a bit.

-Ah, well. Well, there's your excuse.

-Yes, there is my excuse.

And B is a pointless answer.

People who know an awful lot about Nelson might know it,

people from Hartlepool might know it as well,

cos that's where it's docked.

It was Nelson's last-ever frigate,

and it's the HMS Trincomalee.

-Wow!

-Built in what is now Mumbai.

Terrific answer. Very well done if you said that.

Extraordinary. And that is a word you simply could never make up

-from looking at the missing letters.

-Exactly.

That one, it looks like, in the back of it,

I could probably stand up.

-You could lie down in it. Lovely!

-Yes, I could...

Well, I could lie down in any boat, pretty much.

This is true, Richard.

-Apart from a canoe.

-Yeah, apart from a canoe.

No, a canoe, I can. Which is the one...

Is the canoe the one that's open and the kayak the one that's closed in?

-I get a bit frightened by kayaks.

-Yeah.

-I would worry.

I think the life on the ocean wave is not for me. That's what I think.

I think that's probably true. Thank you anyway, Richard.

So, here comes your second question.

Daniel and Shelagh, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so good luck.

Our second question concerns...

It's all about the Alps. Richard.

Simply five clues now to facts about the Alps.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five Alpine facts, and here they come.

I'll read those again.

There we are. Daniel and Shelagh will go first.

THEY CONFER IN WHISPERS

Um, we'll go for the fictional orphan girl, Heidi.

Heidi, say Daniel and Shelagh. Heidi.

Now then, Sandy and Becky, that board is all yours.

Do you fancy talking us through it and filling in what you can?

-No!

-What did you think?

-You thought the...

-I think the top one's Hannibal.

And I'm assuming the second one is Mont Blanc.

-But don't know any...

-But I don't know the others.

-Which one do you want to go for, then?

-Hannibal?

-We'll go for Hannibal.

-You're going to go for Hannibal.

So, we have Heidi and Hannibal.

Daniel and Shelagh said Heidi. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Heidi.

It's right.

Ooh, popular answer there.

60 for Heidi.

60 for Heidi.

Meanwhile, Sandy and Becky have gone for Hannibal.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Hannibal.

I have a feeling this'll be close.

Oh, no! Hannibal wins, look at that.

48 for Hannibal.

Very well done indeed, Sandy and Becky.

That means after only two questions you are through to the final 2-0.

Very nicely played. Yeah, very well done.

Heidi... Do you know Heidi's surname?

-No.

-It's "Hi".

LAUGHTER

Yeah. It's a true story.

Now, Hannibal took 37 elephants over the Alps, and 60,000 troops.

Yet it's the elephants we talk about,

even though there's 60,000 troops.

-I would say that's just as difficult.

-Yeah.

-Anyone can take an elephant up an Alp.

-Yeah.

-We could take an elephant up an Alp.

-Well, we have done.

-Yeah, we did, didn't we?

-Yeah.

-Yeah! And a giraffe.

-Yeah, the giraffe was tricky...

-The giraffe wasn't happy.

Well, the giraffe was better at getting up

-than it was on that sea crossing.

-It wasn't happy at all, was it?

We should do a documentary for the BBC

where we take some elephants over the Alps. Don't you think?

-Mm.

-Or a series of animals.

Alexander Armstrong's Alpine Menagerie.

-What about that?

-That's a hit, isn't it?

-How about that?

-And I'll sit at home and I'll do the admin.

And do you know what...? OK.

While you're up Mont Blanc with a rhinoceros.

LAUGHTER

Oh, you mean we do it on foot?

I was thinking we could just bung them on a plane.

No, you can't put a rhino on a plane.

-Oh, yeah, they hate flying, don't they?

-They hate flying.

Also, you can't take sharp objects on a plane.

This is true.

-You know what I mean? You can't do it.

-That is true.

Well, let's pitch it, anyway, to the BBC.

Well, we kind of have. Just play them this clip, we've got it made!

-I'm hearing they've said no.

-Ah, right.

Let's fill in the rest of these. The highest mountain in the Alps,

I think you would have gone for Mont Blanc,

and you'd have been right.

And it's a lower scorer than the answer you gave -

37 points for that.

The answer to the snowbombing place is Mayrhofen.

2 points for that, terrific answer. Well done if you said it.

And, I mean, if you've got to guess an Alpine country,

there's not many to guess.

-Switzerland?

-Correct.

-Ah!

-Well done, got it in one.

-27 points for that.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid, Daniel and Shelagh, it is you.

You have come all this way and done very, very well,

but I'm afraid this is the end of the road, where we say goodbye.

Thank you so much for playing. Daniel and Shelagh.

APPLAUSE

But for Sandy and Becky, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sandy and Becky, you have seen off the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-BOTH:

-Yay!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £4,000.

But how exciting.

2-0 in the head-to-head, no arguing with that, ever.

And your first and only appearance on Pointless.

Straight through, like a knife through organic Somerset butter.

Oh! It's lovely to think that you've come up here from the farm,

-straw in your hair...

-Driving our tractors!

Oh, I should hope so!

Yes, and what were the duties you had to do before you left?

-Some churning...

-No, we had to shear the cows and...

-Shear the cows?!

-And milk the sheep.

Milk the sheep, yes! Yes.

Cow shearing is a very, very...

-That's not a job anyone's volunteering for, is it?

-No.

And how lovely it is to have you here from the depths of Somerset.

-Shame you didn't bring any cheese for us, but there you are.

-Sorry.

No, it's fine, it's fine.

Now, you know what happens in this round.

We put some impossible things up on a board, very specific,

and you look at them and have to decide which one,

and then sometimes, within those, there's something you can answer.

Let's hope there's something up there.

Anything you'd particularly like to see?

-Anything to do with music or film, probably.

-OK, music or film.

Well, let's see what those choices are for today.

We have got...

-TV Soaps.

-TV Soaps.

TV Soaps. Good, that didn't take you long to answer.

-Good. Richard.

-There we go. Very, very best of luck.

If you like your soaps, this might have landed very nicely for you.

Let's find out. We're looking for the following things.

We're looking for the name of any actor or actress who appeared

in any of the Neighbours 30th-anniversary episodes.

They were the very first episode ever,

the Scott and Charlene wedding,

and then a special 30th-anniversary episode.

We're looking for any character

who was in the live EastEnders episode in 2015.

Or we're looking for any character

who was in Corrie's live episode in 2010.

-Best of luck.

-Thanks very much. As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Think so!

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Right.

-Who are you going to choose?

Well, I did watch the Neighbours anniversary ones,

and that's, like, Alan Dale, Stefan Dennis...

You know, they're all well-known ones.

The EastEnders ones, maybe Tameka Empson.

Oh, good one! That's a good one.

Danny Dyer, obviously!

You watch Coronation Street, don't you?

Yeah, but I can't think of anybody.

Jane Danson? Jane Danson?

-Um...

-Who plays Chesney? What's his name?

Chesney? Oh, I can't think what his name is.

Who else is in EastEnders?

-Oh, who plays...

-My mind's gone blank!

My mind's gone completely blank.

What's the name of the girl who plays Nancy?

In?

-EastEnders?

-Danny-Boy Hatchard?

I don't know if he was in it. He plays Danny Dyer's son.

-Ten seconds left.

-Yeah, got that one

-and Tameka...

-Empson?

-Yeah.

-What was the other one?

-Somebody from Neighbours.

Who do you know from Neighbours?

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

Never long enough, that minute.

Let's have your three answers.

Well, the EastEnders anniversary live episode,

we're going to say...

Danny-Boy Hatchard.

Danny-Boy Hatchard.

-Also from that one as well, Tameka Empson.

-Tameka Empson.

Pick one from Neighbours that you'd know.

I think that would be really random.

Delta Goodrem - was she in the 30th anniversary?

-Delta Goodrem.

-Delta Goodrem.

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Go Tameka.

-Tameka Empson.

-OK, Tameka Empson we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Delta Goodrem.

-Delta Goodrem we'll put first.

OK, here they are.

We have got...

There we are. Well, very, very best of luck.

-Thank you.

-Three answers on the board.

Let's hope one of those is pointless and will win that jackpot for you.

Four grand - that's quite a nice prize to be taken home.

Sandy, what would you do with your share of that?

I'd go to the TT, Isle of Man TT.

-Very good. Becky, how about you?

-I'm a bit of a geek

and I go to a lot of conventions and signing events,

so I'd probably put it towards one of my weekends away.

Very good indeed. Well, best of luck.

As I say, three answers.

Your first answer was Delta Goodrem.

In this instance, we were looking for any of the actors that featured

in any of the 30th-anniversary specials of Neighbours.

If this is right and if it is pointless, it will win you £4,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Delta Goodrem.

Is it pointless?

-It's right.

-Well done. Thank you.

This is absolutely right.

Maybe a bit of a shot in the dark, but it's right.

Down Delta Goodrem goes,

through the 20s and through the teens.

Into single figures.

Still going down, still going down...

Absolutely fantastic!

Look at that!

Very well done indeed. Brilliant. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done. Delta Goodrem!

What about that? Congratulations. Delta Goodrem, a pointless answer.

Which means you go home with our jackpot of £4,000.

Very well done indeed. Superb.

Yeah, very well done, and you know what,

it's a stroke of luck she was a pointless answer,

cos you didn't listen to the other questions properly

and you gave us the names of actors instead of characters.

So your other two answers were wrong, I'm afraid.

It doesn't matter - you won the money!

So, you gave us Danny-Boy Hatchard, who plays Lee Carter.

Lee Carter was a pointless answer. Danny-Boy Hatchard, wrong.

Tameka Empson is Kim Fox, and that was an incorrect answer anyway.

Let's go through the pointless answers on the different categories.

Loads of pointless answers here for fans of any of these soaps.

You can really fill your boots.

Anne Haddy, who was Helen Daniels, she's a pointless answer.

Ian Smith, who was Harold Bishop,

in his many incarnations, he was pointless.

Peter O'Brien, he was the mulleted heart-throb, Shane Ramsay.

And Vivean Gray, who was Mrs Mangel.

Every single answer was pointless, every single actor,

apart from Kylie and Jason, of course,

Alan Dale, Stefan Dennis, Guy Pearce, Craig McLachlan

and Anne Charleston, who played Madge.

Everybody else was pointless.

So if you'd said any other actor in one of those,

you would've won the money.

Now, these EastEnders characters.

The big scorers there, Ian Beale, Phil Mitchell,

Kat Moon, Alfie Moon, Max Branning, of course, Jane Beale,

Sharon Mitchell, Mick Carter, Bobby Beale, Peter Beale,

Shirley Carter, they were the big scorers there.

And Coronation Street,

again, looking for the names of characters here.

Again, the big scorers there, Ken Barlow, Steve McDonald,

Rita Sullivan, David Platt, Carla Connor, Tyrone Dobbs,

they were the big scorers there.

But loads and loads of pointless answers in all of those.

Turned out very, very nicely for you, didn't it?

Well done, Delta Goodrem, and well done to the two of you.

Thanks, Richard. Well, thanks once again to our winning players,

Sandy and Becky, who go away with today's jackpot of £4,000.

Very well done indeed.

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.