Episode 28 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

Couple number one.

Hi, my name's Emma and this is my housemate, Georgia,

-and we've come from Sunderland.

-Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Leila, this is my son, Hasan.

I'm from Washington and he's from Liverpool.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Sam, this is my cousin, Dan,

and we're from Northants.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Jennifer, this is my brother, Danny,

and we're from London.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you. We will get to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

offering more clarity than a Hatton Garden diamond,

and nearly as moody,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

Welcome along.

It's interesting, they caught all of the Hatton Garden jewellery raiders,

apart from the mastermind.

Yeah, isn't it?

Funny, that. Also, I love your new car.

Amazing!

LAUGHTER

-Thank you, Rich.

-Really, really nice.

-Yeah, it was a present.

-I mean, good for you.

-Yeah.

And talking of an awful lot of money, Sandy and Becky, last time,

we had the lovely jackpot round on,

it was EastEnders, Coronation Street and Neighbours,

a lot of people's perfect jackpot round,

four grand, they walked away with, very well deserved as well.

Two pairs back from that show, Emma and Georgia,

who got knocked out in Round Two, on podium one,

Hasan and Leila got knocked out in Round One,

so we're not going to have that again,

need to see much more of you,

and we're not a million miles away from our 1,000th show now.

-Ah!

-We're about 20-odd away, something like that.

-Exciting, isn't it?

-And yet, Dan and Sam,

equal shortest-named contestants ever -

we've never had less than six letters

in a pair of contestants before.

-Brilliant.

-Still waiting for a five, one day,

like a Jo and Dan or something, but we haven't had it yet.

Yeah.

Hang on. Well done!

-Thanks.

-Well done on your names, there.

Well, thanks very much indeed.

So, as you will have gathered, Sandy and Becky won the jackpot last time,

which means today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

There we are. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is this,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, and there is no conferring in the first two rounds.

So, best of luck with all of that. Our first category this afternoon...

..is Fashion In Fiction.

Fashion In Fiction. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so, our question concerns...

Fictional bow tie wearers. Richard?

I'm going to show you 16 pictures now

of fictional bow tie wearers, and for all of them,

it's the character name we're looking for.

-Can you name the most obscure, please?

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, as Richard has mentioned, we're going to put an image up now,

that's going to stay up for the whole round.

Let's have a look at that image, here it is.

There we are.

16 fictional bow tie wearers.

Emma, welcome back to Pointless.

Now, you're looking flummoxed.

Well, it's not really fashion, I do fashion journalism, so...

You do fashion journalism? Well, you've just answered the question,

the next thing I was going to ask you.

But the bow tie has kind of...

It has sort of become fashionable.

Sadly, at the same time as the beard, so quite often,

you don't see the bow-tie underneath it,

which is, in my view, a shame.

Now then, Emma, aside from fashion, what do you like getting up to?

Well, me and Georgia actually go to bingo quite a lot.

Very good.

How often do you do the bingo?

Once a week, ish.

Because bingo, like the bow tie and the beard...

I love a bit of bingo.

..all the Bs, sort of came back into fashion, didn't it?

There was a bit of a new thing, there was an upsurge in bingo.

I love bingo, too.

The trouble is, with bingo, though, they are so quick,

-aren't they, the people who do it?

-Yeah.

Keeping up with it is unbelievable.

It's, like, more complicated than chess...

to win at bingo. That's my opinion.

I think it would be easier to be chess world champion

than bingo world champion.

You might be on to something there, Richard,

you might be on to something.

Now, Emma, what would you like to go for?

Who would you like to go for, on this board?

Well, I know quite a few of them,

but I don't know which ones will be low.

But I'm going to go for the Mad Hatter.

You are going to go for the Mad Hatter.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said the Mad Hatter.

It's right.

31.

31 for the Mad Hatter.

Played by Johnny Depp there,

supposedly based on a real character,

although there's two possible suspects as to who it may be.

Both from Oxford, both from your neck of the woods.

They used to have that TV show, didn't they?

Because it used to be a very popular profession.

So they used to have, like, a Pop Idol

for people who wanted to make hats.

It was called 'Who Wants To Be A Milliner?'

LAUGHTER AND GROANING

Thanks very much, Richard. Leila, welcome back.

Now, Leila, it was Round One last time, we said goodbye in Round One,

we shall have no repeat of that, please.

I'm not as clever as I thought I was.

I think you are. What was the topic you went out on?

-Bears.

-Actually, you know, you're right, you're not as clever...

I remember, yeah.

And Leila, what do you like getting up to in Washington?

Well, I'm retired now, but I do have a fair few hobbies.

I free-form knit...

Right, let's just go into that.

Free-form knit?

So, no discipline at all, if you want to drop stitches,

you go right ahead.

-Yeah.

-What kind of things do you make as a free-form knitter?

Jumpers, layering items...

With perhaps one sleeve longer than the other?

No, no, nothing like that. But irregular hems...

-OK.

-..and maybe irregular necklines as well.

-But you just don't follow a pattern?

-I don't follow any pattern.

I don't know what it's going to turn out like until it's finished.

Oh, that's nice. So, sort of organic, isn't it?

It takes the form it takes.

-It does, yes.

-Now, Leila, let's have a nice low score from you,

from our bow-tie-wearing fictional characters.

I'm no good with cartoons at all,

so I'm going to have to go for one of the obvious ones, I'm afraid,

and I'm going to go with Inspector Poirot.

Inspector Poirot, says Leila. Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

Oh, 58 for Inspector Poirot.

58.

There he is, Hercule Poirot, on the third row.

Do you know, David Suchet played him for 25 years?

-Yes.

-Yeah, from 1989 all the way through to 2013.

Do you know something really fun?

When he put the moustache on...

IMPERSONATING POIROT: ..he became Hercule Poirot, even if his telephone rang...

NORMAL VOICE: I...

He would answer it and say, "'Allo?"

And if it was his wife, he would say...

IMPERSONATING POIROT: "Yes, I will be 'ome,

"but I don't think we finish until half past eight.

"Make that maybe nine o'clock, because the M25 will be murder!"

LAUGHTER

-Isn't that hilarious?

-Yeah.

-IMPERSONATING POIROT:

-"Oh, I forgot to say, could you pick up the milk?

"I forgot to get it on my way."

Anyway...

Dan, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here, from Northamptonshire?

-Yes.

-What do you get up to, Dan?

Um, I work in a hospital, in Northampton General.

In between that, I've got some friends who do a rock covers band.

Well, two fun things there, so where are you in the hospital,

-which bit of the hospital?

-The operating theatre. Surgeon's assistant.

Right, so, do you spend your life in scrubs?

And... Oh, it must be quite nice to be out of the mask, I should think.

-Very itchy.

-Yeah, very.

And tell me about the covers band.

Um, yeah, just a few of us doing some pub gigs.

-What do you play?

-Um, vocalist.

And a bit of the harmonica.

Excellent, that's fun.

Now, Dan.

DAN SIGHS

Yeah...

I might take a risk, because it could be wrong.

But I'm going to go bottom right and I'm going to say Huckleberry Hound.

Huckleberry Hound. Huckleberry Hound, says Dan.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said Huckleberry Hound.

It is right.

You've passed 58, our highest score, you've passed 31, our low score.

Oh, look at that, 9, single figures, Dan.

-That'll do.

-I doff my hat!

Great answer, Dan, very well played, yeah.

Used to sing My Darling Clementine, in that Southern drawl.

-So he did.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much.

-So, Jennifer, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Jennifer?

-Relationship manager.

-In a company, or in a...?

-Yes.

-Oh, I see.

-In the financial markets.

-Not sort of marriage guidance?

-No, not that kind of relationship.

-Not that kind. So, a relationship with clients.

-Yeah.

And what do you like doing when you put the relationship management behind you?

I love to travel, a lot.

Where do you particularly like going?

Or do you just follow your nose, go wherever?

Yeah, kind of wherever.

The fewer people, the better.

That's good. So, kind of backpacking level of travel, or...

Overlanding. So, in a truck and...

-just driving around.

-Excellent. Good for you.

OK. Now, Jennifer,

what about all these bow-tie-wearing fictional characters?

I know a few, and I think I'm going to play it safe and go Porky Pig.

Porky Pig, says Jennifer. Let's see if Porky Pig is right

and how many of our 100 people said Porky Pig.

It is right.

58 remains the highest score, which you've passed.

9 is our low score.

30 is where you end up with Porky Pig.

Yeah, a Looney Tunes character, of course. He was the one

who would traditionally do the "That's all, folks!"

at the end of Looney Tunes cartoons.

Thanks very much. Well, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores.

9, the best score of the pass - Dan, very well done to you,

by some distance, I would say, Dan and Sam.

Then over to 30 is where we find Jennifer and Danny,

31, Emma and Georgia.

Now, Hasan and Leila, 58!

-Oh!

-Ooh!

Now, yes, Hasan, I hope you have identified

a wonderfully low-scoring, bow-tie-wearing fictional character.

-Yeah.

-Low enough to keep you and your mum in the game.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Danny, so, remember, we're looking for names

of these fictional bow-tie-wearing characters.

Danny, welcome here, from London.

-What do you do, Danny?

-I work for the Northern line, service control,

in the London Underground.

So, service control means you sort of follow everything in the...?

Yes, we've got diagrams of all the trains,

and we deal with any incidents that happen on our duty.

And you see all the trains going along, following them around?

Yes, on the diagram, we've got all the signals and...

-Oh, now you're talking.

-Do you know what I would do,

if I had that diagram, I had that signal?

I would put fields all around it, and little sheep,

-made out of cotton wool.

-That would be lovely.

I would do that on the actual underground.

You could do it on the actual underground!

You could sort of build canals, you could have...

-It would be beautiful.

-Yeah.

Lovely. OK, right, Danny, we come back to our bow ties.

Right, um... There is a risky one, which I really want to go for,

but I think I'm going to play it safe and go for Krusty the Clown.

Krusty the Clown, says Danny.

Now, here is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're definitely into Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Krusty the Clown.

It's right.

44.

44, taking your total up to 74.

Not a bad answer at all, his real name is Herschel Krustofsky.

There you are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Sam, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here from Kettering.

What keeps you busy in Kettering, Sam?

Well, I'm actually studying in Sheffield, so I'm a student.

-I see.

-So, out of town.

And what do you study?

Physiotherapy, so I'm in my second year,

so we're just going through our placements.

I presume you're very popular with all your friends?

You're always being asked for...

Everyone's got an elbow problem all of a sudden, knee pain...

Actually, Sam, it's a little bit...

So, what would you like to go for, Sam?

You're on 9, 74 is the highest score, 64 is your target.

Tempting to say a couple here, um...

I think I'm going to go for Count Duckula...

-as a childhood cartoon.

-Count Duckula, says Sam.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Count Duckula.

There's your red line, nice and high,

on the back of Dan's answer earlier.

It's right.

Through you go.

There we are, Round Two awaits, 28.

37 is your total.

Great work, Sam. Yeah, it was a spin-off from Danger Mouse.

-He was, yeah.

-I did not know that.

There we are. Now, Hasan.

Hasan, welcome back.

Remind us what you do.

I'm a manager for an events space restaurant, bar, kind of...

See, I love the sound of your events space in Liverpool.

-Is it huge?

-Oh, it's massive, yeah, it's, like, three giant warehouses.

Oh, wow.

It's also kind of joined up by a lobby bar in the middle as well.

But it's cool, it's a cool place to work.

And what are your interests, Hasan?

Well, apart from the work side of things, I do love my music,

so I do a bit of bedroom DJ-ing and...

-Bedroom DJ-ing?

-Yeah, mix tapes as well.

I haven't ventured out into public yet.

Is bedroom DJ-ing just for the benefit of those

who are in your bedroom at the time?

Well, yeah, I think my missus,

I've bombarded her with quite a few obscure songs before.

Do you find you have to keep getting up to change the...?

Oh, no, no, it's all hi-tech now.

"I'm just coming, I'm just coming, yeah." OK, very good.

Now, there you are on 58.

This is exciting. We have to keep you in the game,

we can't say goodbye to you at the end of this round for a second time.

The high scorers are Danny and Jennifer on 74,

15 or less is what we require from you, Hasan.

Right, OK, so, there's a few.

And I think...

Because he's out of costume on this one,

I'm going to go with Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones. There is your red line, let's see if that's right,

let's see if Indiana Jones can get you below that red line.

Good luck.

Oh, look at that, 31.

Oh, Hasan.

89 is your total.

Mind you, you're still in the game. The round is not yet over.

And you're absolutely right,

it's a much lower score than you would expect Indiana Jones to get.

Thank you very much, Richard. So, now, Georgia.

Georgia, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Georgia.

I've just graduated in magazine journalism.

And you're also looking for work?

-Yeah.

-Do you go and do lots of freelance things in the meantime,

-to get your name out there?

-I try to, yeah.

What sort of areas do you like writing about?

Um, celebrity gossip.

I like feature writing more than, like, hard news.

Now, where do you get your celebrity gossip from?

Are you allowed to reveal your sources?

Or is this, um...?

Just, like, social network sites.

Good stuff. Now, Georgia, you're on 31,

the highest scorers are behind you now, Hasan and Leila on 89.

So, 57 or less is your target.

I'm struggling. I knew a few,

but obviously, the lower answers have gone.

I don't know if the top left is Mary Poppins.

Obviously, Donald Duck and Pinocchio....

I think I'm going to go with Pinocchio.

OK, Pinocchio, says Georgia.

There is your red line, get below that, you're through to Round Two.

A lot hanging on here.

How many of our 100 people said Pinocchio?

It's right.

67 for Pinocchio.

That's great news for Hasan and Leila,

but I'm afraid terrible news for you.

That takes your total up to 98.

Yeah, unlucky there.

Now, there's no pointless answers at all up here.

In fact, Dan, the best option on the board is Huckleberry Hound.

So, very, very well played.

Let's fill in all of them.

You've got Mary Poppins there, as you say, 73.

Next to Mary Poppins is Brains, 46.

Do you know the bear?

Boo-Boo, a CGI Boo-Boo.

Terrible, isn't it? Ten points for that.

James Bond, 85.

-Really?

-Yeah. James Bond beaten by Donald Duck, who scored 90.

That's a film I'd like to see!

James Bond beating Donald Duck.

Another good scorer...

-Billy Bunter?

-Billy Bunter, would have scored you 13.

Then next to Count Duckula, you've got the Penguin, 26 points for that.

And on the bottom line, Lurch for 15, and that's all your answers.

So, yeah, best answer on the board, Huckleberry Hound.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

with their high score of 98, Georgia and Emma, I'm so sorry.

It was Round Two last time. This time, I'm afraid, Round One.

Did you know any of those when we went through them?

-Did any of them suddenly...?

-No.

I was going to say Indiana Jones and if I had,

I'm pretty sure you would have got Mad Hatter, wouldn't you?

-Yeah.

-Oh, well, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been great having you on, thank you so much for playing. Georgia and Emma.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, we are down to three pairs. At the end of this round, obviously,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Sam and Dan, if that round was anything to go by,

I don't think it's going to be you.

We had our lowest individual score

and our lowest combined score from you, so very well done.

Best of luck to all three pairs,

our category for Round Two this afternoon is Geography.

Geography. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Ports. Richard?

We've got a list of the world's 50 busiest container ports.

On each board, we are going to show you six of those ports,

you just have to tell us what country they're in, please.

So, six ports on each pass, 12 in all to have a go at at home.

Best of luck. As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

So, we're looking for the country in which you would find these ports.

Here's our first board of six.

I'll read those again.

There we are.

Hasan?

Yeah...

Mm!

There are some nice easy ones and some fiendish ones there.

Um...

I'm going to go for Shanghai, China.

Shanghai, China.

Well, you might be removing

the only one everyone knows from the board there,

so tactically, not a bad thing to do.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said China.

It's right.

68. That could have been a lot worse, I think.

Very surprised at how low that scored.

It's the biggest container port in the world, Shanghai.

OK, thank you very much indeed. Now, Dan.

Um...

I could take a gamble on one of them, but I'm not 100% on it,

so I'm going to go for...

..Durban, South Africa.

Durban, South Africa, says Dan.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right. Well, you've passed 68.

56.

Very well played. It's 50th on the list, so only just sneaks in.

Thanks very much.

Now then, Danny, this board's all yours.

If you wanted to talk through it and fill in all the blanks,

you'd be most welcome.

Erm, I'll just go for the one I know, I guess.

Maybe Hamburg is Germany but I'm not sure,

but I'm going to go for Colombo, which is Sri Lanka.

Sri Lanka, says Danny, for Colombo.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Sri Lanka.

It's right. 68 is our high score, we have passed that at speed,

56 likewise...

21, very well done for Sri Lanka!

Good work on that far podium.

Yeah, well played. Now, there's a couple of tough ones up here,

which we'll get to.

So, Hamburg - Hamburg's the biggest scorer, even bigger than China,

would have scored you 77 points.

Now, Laem Chabang is in Thailand.

Absolutely delicious(!)

Would have scored you 11 points.

XANDER CHUCKLES

Oh, I couldn't have a whole Chabang!

No, you couldn't, no. Chicken Chabang is slightly nicer.

Now, Port Klang... We must go and visit Port Klang.

Shall we have a little trip to Port Klang?

To do that, we would have to go to Malaysia.

That would have scored you three points.

Thanks very much. OK, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores. 21, well done, Danny.

The best score of that pass was yours,

putting you and Jennifer at the front of the field,

then 56 is where we find Dan and Sam

and then 68, Hasan and Leila.

Once again, you're teasing with us here, I can see.

We're going to have to have a low score from you to keep you in the game.

I'm sure you can do it, but best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now,

would the second players please stand up to the podium?

OK, here come six more ports and they are...

I'll read them again.

Jennifer? We're coming over to you,

we are looking for the countries in which you would find these ports.

And you're going to find the most obscure one you can on that board.

Unfortunately, the obscure ones I don't know.

-So...

-That's the trouble, isn't it?

I'm going to go Manila and the Philippines.

Manila, Philippines, says Jennifer.

You want to score 46 or less if you can. There is your red line.

Let's see how many people said the Philippines.

It's right.

Not bad. 51.

I think that's good enough.

That will take you to up to 72.

Well played, Jennifer.

It's a bit less terrifying, this board, isn't it?

A little bit, yeah.

Thanks very much. Now, Sam.

How pleased are you with this board?

Erm, average to not very.

XANDER CHUCKLES

I think I'll go for Belgium...

..for Antwerp.

OK, now, ideally, you'll be scoring 15 or less.

15 or less, that's quite a low red line.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Belgium.

It's right.

50.

Takes your total up to 106.

-The round's still going.

-Isn't it just?

Not a bad answer at all.

It's huge, Antwerp port,

16th biggest in the world.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Leila, you're on 68. You have to score 37 or less.

37, I think, is kind of doable.

What are you going to go for on this board?

Do you want to talk us through it?

Erm, Rotterdam, it sounds like Norway or Sweden

or Denmark, somewhere like that? Valencia...

Italy or Spain?

I think I'll go for Valencia and...

..Italy.

Italy, Italy, says Leila, for Valencia.

There's your red line. You have to get below that red line.

Ooh, Sam and Dan!

Hasan and Leila!

Italy, is it right for Valencia? How many people said it?

Ooh, I'm sorry!

I'm so sorry, I'm afraid you picked the wrong one there.

That scores you 100 points,

takes you up to 168.

Yeah, the two biggest scorers up the top there, Valencia is Spain,

and that would have scored you 67 points

and Rotterdam is the Netherlands

and that's an even bigger score, would have scored 69.

Now, Nagoya would have seen you through.

If you'd had to guess, Leila?

Erm, Africa somewhere?

-Japan.

-Japan!

-Oh...

-And that would have scored you 24.

And the best answer on the board by a mile is Ambarli

and that is in Turkey.

And that would have scored you two points, so,

very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm sorry to say, Hasan and Leila,

we have to say goodbye to you. It's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you so much for coming to play. Hasan and Leila!

For our remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sam and Dan, Danny and Jennifer,

you're now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for that jackpot,

which still stands at £1,000.

Well, this is the point where we work out

who goes through to the final,

you start playing in pairs, you can confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, I mean, two new pairs.

You've seen off our returning pairs, so, yes,

one of the pairs in front of me now

will only get to play on Pointless once,

which is a shame in many ways but very well done,

really good answering from both of you, actually,

at points during the game

so, I think, now you get to pool your resources,

this ought to be very close. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question and our first question this time round

concerns Modern Artists.

-Richard?

-We're going to show you five pictures now of modern artists,

we're going to ask you to identify the most obscure.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five modern artists

and here they come...

There we go. Five modern artists.

Now, Sam and Dan, you've been our low scorers today,

so you will go first.

Bit stuck because I know C...

Erm, the only one I can say with any certainty is C, Tracey Emin.

C, Tracey Emin, say Sam and Dan.

Tracey Emin. Now then, Danny and Jennifer,

do you fancy talking us through that board?

-Do you know any?

-No.

Tracey Emin was the one that I knew.

I think E is Damien Hirst.

I think A is Grayson Perry, so I think we should go for that.

Because I think that's right. I'm 90% sure.

-Yeah, we'll go with that.

-We're going to go with A, Grayson Perry.

A, Grayson Perry, say Danny and Jennifer.

So, we have Tracey Emin and Grayson Perry.

Sam and Dan went for Tracey Emin.

Let's see if that's right for C. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

44.

44 for Tracey Emin.

Now, Danny and Jennifer, meanwhile,

have gone for Grayson Perry for A.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right. Now, it has to beat 44...

and it does, look at that!

Grayson Perry, down to 23!

You nabbed it there, Danny and Jennifer, very well done indeed.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, very well played, one of our 100 people thought Grayson Perry

was Laura Ashley.

LAUGHTER

-A similar style.

-Very similar.

I suspect Grayson might quite enjoy that.

We'll leave B for a second because it's a pointless answer.

D is a very young David Hockney.

He would have scored you 11.

You're right about E, it is Damien Hirst.

Scores slightly fewer than Grayson Perry, scores 20 points.

-And B is the American artist...

-Jeff Koons.

Jeff Koons. Correct.

Very well done if you said that - pointless answer.

Thank you very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Sam and Dan, although you don't answer it first,

you have to win this one to stay in the game, so, good luck with that.

Our second question this time concerns...

I'm going to show you five clues now to facts about bells.

Just give us the most obscure answer you can, please.

OK, let's reveal our five facts about bells, and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Danny and Jennifer, you will go first.

-I'm not 100% sure.

-Cockney, it's got to be something in the East End.

-Yeah.

-I can't think of anything in the East End.

Erm, we're not sure about any of them, so, we're guessing that...

the true Cockney born will hear these bells

and the only thing we can think of kind of east is St Paul's.

OK, the bells of St Paul's, say Danny and Jennifer.

Now then, Sam and Dan, do you want to talk us through that board

-and fill in all the bells that are missing?

-Erm...

The second one down, word for the art of bell-ringing is wassailing,

I think, or I could be wrong.

The large bell could be, I think, is the Liberty Bell.

-Yeah.

-Because it cracked.

And bottom one, I couldn't, I can't remember her name.

We'll go for the Liberty Bell.

Liberty Bell, say Sam and Dan.

So, we have the bells of St Paul's and the Liberty Bell.

Danny and Jennifer, you've gone for the bells of St Paul's,

let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

I'm afraid not St Paul's.

Sam and Dan have gone for the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

40.

But crucially, it was right, so, very well done, Sam and Dan,

back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, and no-one getting that top one,

which is the biggest answer on the board by some way.

-Bow Bells.

-Bow Bells, yeah.

And actually, the church was also designed by Sir Christopher Wren,

the church where the Bow Bells were.

63 points for that.

The art of bell-ringing is not wassailing.

-Campanology.

-Campanology, yeah, that would have scored you 38.

The poet, John Betjeman, would

have scored you 12.

-And do you remember the singer?

-I can't.

It actually scored 15 points. Anita Ward.

So, John Betjeman, the best answer there.

Thanks very much indeed. So, here comes your third question,

whoever wins this one goes through to the final place for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Our third question is all about...

Sharks, Richard?

-Cool, right?

-Ya-hah!

Yeah! We're going to show you the names now of five species of shark

but we've removed alternate letters from the names.

Can you fill in those gaps, please?

OK, so let's reveal our five filleted sharks and here they are...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Sam and Dan will go first again this time.

We...

We're quite confident on the second one down but I'll let Dan say it

because I won't be able to pronounce it.

It could be wrong. Erm, I'm going to go with tasselled wobbegong.

-Exactly.

-Tasselled wobbegong.

Tasselled wobbegong.

-Be funny if it's not!

-There we are.

Now then, Danny and Jennifer.

Do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

Erm, the first one should be whale shark.

Erm, great white shark for the next one.

Not too sure about the next two.

I think the last one is something tip.

Something tip.

Sss... Yeah, don't know.

OK, we're going to have to go for whale shark.

OK, whale shark, say Danny and Jennifer.

Whale shark. So, we have the wonderful tasselled wobbegong

and we have the whale shark.

Sam and Dan went for tasselled wobbegong, let's see if it's...

Let's see if it's right.

It is the tasselled wobbegong!

Very well done indeed, Sam and Dan.

Down it goes...

all the way to nought! Correct, very well done indeed!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

A pointless answer. It adds another £250 to today's jackpot,

taking the total up to £1,250.

It scores you nothing, which makes you look pretty unbeatable

at this stage, I would say.

But who knows? Everything is riding on whale shark.

Maybe it will be a joint pointless answer.

We shall see. Erm, whale shark, said Danny and Jennifer.

Whale shark is right.

I didn't think it was going to go all that far down

but there we are, 43, not a bad answer at all.

But very well done, Sam and Dan.

And to go through in such style,

you go through to the final after three questions, 2-1.

Not a lot you could have done, was there?

Very well played. Of course, erm,

Dan knows that because tasselled wobbegong

is the name of his rock covers band.

That's where he knew the name from.

Erm, great white shark, big scorer, would have scored 63.

Basking shark underneath that, 32,

and you weren't a million miles off that bottom one,

it is a something tip shark.

-Silvertip shark.

-Oh, it's a silver... of course!

That would have scored one point.

-That would have been exciting.

-Ah, there we go.

Thank you very much indeed. OK,

so the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, it's Danny and Jennifer.

Well, the great consolation for us

is it means we get to see you next time

and I'm sure you'll be back in the head-to-head,

if not going one step beyond.

But meantime, we say goodbye to you.

Danny and Jennifer, well done!

APPLAUSE

But for Sam and Dan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sam and Dan, you have seen off the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,250.

Very, very well done.

Well, you started with the lowest answer on the board,

with Huckleberry Hound, and you finished with tasselled wobbegong.

I mean, what about that?

Very good sign of things to come, I think.

Keep up, keep up that low pointless scoring

and you should be absolutely fine getting this jackpot.

Anyway, very, very best of luck.

As always, you get to choose your category

from the four slightly dodgy ones we put up on the board.

Let's see what's up today.

I'm tempted to say the Army.

I know you're thinking football, isn't it, but I'm useless.

Yeah, I'm big on Champions League football but...

How confident would you be about Army?

Pretty confident. I think Army.

OK, you got the pointless answer, so let's go with the Army.

Tasselled wobbegong speaks.

LAUGHTER

OK, very best of luck, gents, three very different questions here.

We are looking for anyone credited

in the cast of the 1979 release of Apocalypse Now.

Any actor in that film.

Looking for any infantry regiment in the British Army,

in the British Army Order of Battle as of 1st of January 2016.

Or we are looking for any artist who has had a Top 40 single in the UK

with the word Army in the title, according to officialcharts.com.

That's up to December 2015.

So, cast of Apocalypse Now from '79,

infantry regiments in the British Army

or artists who have had Top 40 singles with Army in their title.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got one minute

to come up with three answers

and all you need to win the jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

Your time starts now...

So, artists, top 40...

White Stripes, Seven Nation Army.

-Yeah, that would be... Could be quite high, though.

-Yeah.

Infantry regiments, we've got Royal Anglian.

Erm, Royal Highland Fusiliers.

-Welsh Guard, is that one?

-Erm, Welsh Guard...

Apocalypse Now, erm...

Who was the doctor from Scrubs? He was in that.

-Plays a bit of a...

-Oh, I've forgotten his name.

Yeah, we can't say the doctor from Scrubs.

It's got a young Laurence Fishburne in it.

Wow, that could be good.

-Shall we go with one of those?

-Yeah.

Laurence Fishburne.

-It's been a while since I've seen that film.

-Yeah.

Regiments, regiments...

Royal Anglian,

you've got the Rifles.

Do you want to say one from Apocalypse Now...?

-Ten seconds left.

-Regiments...

-Because that will be too high.

-So, go with Laurence Fishburne?

-Yeah.

-OK.

OK, your time is now up.

What would you like to go for?

So, we'll put one from the top category, erm, as Dan mentioned,

a very young Laurence Fishburne.

Laurence Fishburne.

And then two from the second category, which are...

Erm, Royal Highland Fusiliers.

Royal Highland Fusiliers.

-Royal Anglian Regiment.

-And Royal Anglian Regiment.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Erm, hopefully Highland Fusiliers.

Highland Fusiliers goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Erm, Laurence Fishburne, I would have thought?

-Yeah.

OK, we'll put Laurence Fishburne first

and Royal Anglian Regiment in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have got Laurence Fishburne,

the Royal Anglian Regiment and we have the Royal Highland Fusiliers.

Well, three good answers on the board there.

Now, what if one of these comes in

and brings that jackpot home for you,

a nice pointless answer, what would you do with 1,250 quid?

Sam, you first.

Erm, I guess, I can already subconsciously feel my arm

being twisted behind my back. My friend is getting married, so,

he's got a stag do in Las Vegas next year.

So, all on red.

LAUGHTER

-Dan, how about you?

-We've got a nice family holiday coming up quite soon

and it would be quite nice to be able to splash out

and not worry about buying things and just drinks,

boat trips, that sort of thing.

Very nice. OK, well, very, very best of luck.

Three good answers, as I say.

Laurence Fishburne is your first answer.

In this case, we were looking for cast members of the film Apocalypse Now.

Remember, only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

But let's try out Laurence Fishburne.

If it is pointless, it will win you £1,250.

How many people said Laurence Fishburne?

It's right.

Now, all it has to be is pointless and you leave here with £1,250.

Laurence Fishburne takes us down into the teens,

into single figures...

Still going down, down it goes, still going down to...

two for Laurence Fishburne!

What about that?

A fantastic low score.

Sadly, not a pointless answer.

It's only pointless answers we're interested in in this final round,

which means we have two more shots at the jackpot.

Your next answer was the Royal Anglian Regiment.

In this case, we were looking for infantry regiments

in the British Army.

It has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

So, for £1,250, how many people said the Royal Anglian Regiment?

Well, it's right.

Your first answer was Laurence Fishburne.

It took us all the way down to two.

The Royal Anglian Regiment now takes us down through the 20s,

into the teens, into single figures...

Down it goes, still going down...

There we are, very well done!

-Superb! Very well done!

-Thanks very much.

Strong performance there. Fabulous!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Congratulations! The Royal Anglian Regiment was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £1,250.

Just brilliant!

That's the way to play Pointless. That's terrific stuff.

You didn't put a foot wrong the whole show.

I'm surprised you didn't get Port Klang!

It was amazing, the stuff you did.

Now, the Royal Highland Fusiliers would have been an incorrect answer.

It's been amalgamated with The Royal Regiment of Scotland,

which would have been a pointless answer,

so the Royal Anglian doing you a great deal of good there.

Let's take a look at those pointless answers.

We'll start with the cast of Apocalypse Now.

Everyone in the film was a pointless answer apart from Brando,

Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall,

Laurence Fishburne and Harrison Ford.

We're back to him again. So, well done if you said another answer.

Now, the infantry regiments...

You also could have had the London Regiment, The Mercian Regiment

and the Royal Anglian Regiment.

Those were the pointless answers there.

And artists with those Top 40 singles...

The Corps of the Army Choir

had a hit with In The Army Now with Status Quo.

Status Quo were high scorers. Lee Ryan, Army of Lovers.

Marcus Collins was an X-Factor contestant.

He had a hit with Seven Nation Army,

a cover version of the White Stripes song.

They would have scored ten points. Mungo Jerry as well.

A few other answers. Andy Cameron, who did Ally's Tartan Army,

the Scotland World Cup song, was a pointless answer as well.

So, very well done if you said that. And congratulations in the studio.

-What a performance!

-What a performance indeed.

And thanks once again to our winning players, Sam and Dan,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,250.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE