Episode 34 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers

are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Maja,

this is my friend and colleague, Annette,

and we're from Borehamwood.

Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Taz, I'm from Newport

and this is my friend, Hannah, from Wimborne.

Couple number three.

Hello, my name's Nadeem.

This is my sister, Ayesha, and we're from Northampton.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother, Jon,

and we're from Tottenham in North London.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, everyone.

Welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show

as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's the only quiz show sidekick visible from space.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-APPLAUSE

-Hiya.

Hey, everybody.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon to you.

Good afternoon.

What an extraordinary end to the last show.

-Wasn't it amazing? Tasha and Joe.

-Yeah.

So, they got this question, it was about the year 2000.

Various questions came up

and one of the questions was a football question.

Tasha said that her boyfriend, Alex,

had said before she came on the show,

she knows nothing about football, nothing.

He said, "Remember one name."

He said, "Remember the name Henrik Larsson,"

cos Henrik Larsson played for Celtic, he played for Man United,

played internationally. He said, "Remember that name."

Question came up - scorers in Euro 2000.

She said, "We might as well just say Henrik Larsson,

"cos Alex said,

"if there's a football question, say Henrik Larsson."

And he had scored in Euro 2000 and they won £2,250.

-It's not bad going, is it?

-Not bad.

So, Alex was very, very happy with himself, sitting at home.

Amazing ending, wasn't it?

Two pairs back from that show.

We've got Larry and Jon, who got knocked out in Round One,

and Taz and Hannah, who got all the way through to that head-to-head.

Are you happy about that lovely good luck story?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Let's go with "Yeah."

That's gracious, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much.

So, yes, Tasha and Joe won the jackpot last time.

So, today's jackpot therefore starts off back at £1,000.

There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

So, here's the deal -

the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So, keep those scores low.

Very, very best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide, in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many...

US states containing the letters P, R, E, or S, Richard.

So, we're looking for any of the 50 states

that have one of those four letters anywhere in their names, please.

-Very best of luck.

-There we are.

Thanks very much.

-Annette, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello!

-What do you do, Annette?

-I'm a local government officer.

Which department, locally?

-Oh, it's income.

-Income.

-Income.

That's a nice department to be in, isn't it? Surely.

What are your hobbies, Annette?

I like photography, I love music,

but sadly, I'm an Eddie Stobart spotter.

What possibly could be sad about that?

I do have a lorry named after myself, Annette Kim.

That's fantastic.

Because you are a Stobart supporter?

Because... Yeah, because I'm in the club.

Good stuff. Anyway, now, Annette.

US states. Always tough, going first.

Yep.

I'm going to go with Arkansas.

Arkansas, says Annette. Arkansas.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Arkansas.

CHEERING

-Not bad at all. Look at that.

-That'll do.

APPLAUSE 11 for Arkansas.

Very well played.

Yeah, Arkansas is a very good answer on that first podium.

The greatest producer of rice in America.

Oh, they are the greatest, aren't they?

I mean, there are people who produce more, but they're the greatest.

They're the greatest. No, they are the greatest by volume,

-as you well know.

-Yeah.

Lovely Arkansas rice.

Ahh!

Long grain?

-That's what they call me.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. Taz, welcome back.

So, head-to-head last time, Taz.

-Got to be hoping to take that one step further this time.

-Hopefully.

Remind us what you do, Taz.

So, I'm a content editor for an eco-friendly travel website.

-That's right. Still in its first stages.

-Yeah.

Set up six months ago.

Are you supported by advertising,

or how does it fund itself?

We do a lot of things through social media, have competitions.

Very, very good. And what are your interests, Taz?

So, I play ladies' rugby

for my home team.

What's your home team?

Croesyceiliog Ladies.

Oh, that's a good name.

-Croesyceiliog Ladies.

-Yep.

-Excellent.

-Quite into my travel as well. I do some...

Have you been across the States?

No, not ventured that far.

OK, how confident are you feeling?

Well, I know there's lots,

but I'm struggling to think of any obscure ones,

but I think I'm going to go for Oregon.

Oregon, says Taz. Oregon.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Oregon.

Look at that, 16. APPLAUSE

We now have our high and low.

16 for Oregon.

Yes, known as the Beaver State.

That's nice. LAUGHTER

Nadeem, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here. What do you do, Nadeem?

-I'm a dentist.

-Oh, I'm so glad.

Cos I have a... LAUGHTER

I'll talk to you about it later.

How long have you been a dentist for?

I've been working for about a year now

after graduating at the University of Sheffield.

Where's your practice?

I work in a practice in Leighton Buzzard, in Bedfordshire, currently.

It would be fun, being a dentist.

-Do you think?

-I think it'd be fun.

I think it takes a lot of skill.

-It does.

-I think I would...

I'm not sure I'd have the fine motor skills needed for it.

I'm just thinking, keeping up that conversation

when you have a dental nurse that you just...

you just say stuff to.

-Oh, yes.

-"A1..."

I don't understand what it means.

I think it's the shipping forecast, I think.

That's entirely made up.

Or when they say, "B4," and all that kind of stuff.

"B4, rising slowly."

It'd be fun. Now, Nadeem,

any US state that contains the letters P, R, E or S.

I think I'm going to go with Nebraska.

Nebraska, says Nadeem.

Let's see how many of 100 people went for Nebraska.

It's right. Well, 16's our high score, 11 is our low.

Oh, look at that. We have a new low. 4.

Very well done indeed, Nadeem. APPLAUSE

4 for Nebraska.

It's a great answer. Well played.

It's the Cornhusker State.

-Corn-HUSKER?

-The Cornhusker.

Yeah.

-Is that a bird?

-The Cornhusker?

Is it a plane?

No, it is the act of husking corn.

I see.

Yeah, I think they might have been last in the line

-for state nicknames.

-I think they might have been, yeah.

There we are. Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Larry.

-Hello.

Welcome back to Pointless.

Remind us what you do, Larry.

I'm a journalism student at Kingston University.

That's right, in your second year there.

-Second year.

-We discovered last time

that Larry has just published a glossy magazine for dogs

as part of his studies,

called Dogue. LAUGHTER

I like that.

How many pages did Dogue run to?

Around the 40 mark.

That's a lot.

That's a lot of pages for a busy dog about town.

Larry, so, yes, and you have your eyes

sort of focused on sports journalism at the moment.

Any particular sport you would like to cover?

Well, I love all sports - football, boxing, Formula 1 -

but I'm hoping to get into writing about football.

OK, and it's print journalism you'd want to do?

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's fun.

Larry, there we are. We've had a range of states.

Scores from 16 to 4.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for Wisconsin.

Wisconsin, says Larry.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Wisconsin.

It's right.

As I mentioned, 16's our high score, 4 is our low.

Wisconsin passes 16.

Nestles down, near the 4 there, at 7.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, and that's called the Badger State, Wisconsin,

but not because badgers are from there.

It's because the earliest settlers were lead miners

and they would just burrow into the hills

rather than make more permanent dwellings.

-There we are.

-What do you think about that?

I don't really have a comeback to that.

-I mean, that is, yeah...

-Just give me some validation.

Say, "You've done really well there."

Oh, sorry, Richard. I like that very much.

Ahh! No...

LAUGHTER

The Badger State. What about that?

Not even named after old Brock.

-No, it wasn't, it was people.

-It was people.

Yeah. Yeah.

-Burrowing.

-I think I did really well.

-Yeah.

-That's a good fact.

-Thank you.

-Thank you Richard.

-(Yes!)

Now, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

4 - well done, Nadeem, the best score of that pass.

Then up to 7, where we find Larry and Jon.

Then up to 11, Annette and Maja.

And then up to 16, where we find Taz and Hannah.

So, yes, Hannah, we need a low score from you in the next pass.

So, good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Jon, welcome back, remind us what you do.

I work front-of-house at the Lyceum Theatre.

I think that's just a fantastic job.

That's enormous fun.

And as we discovered, running the bar.

Which of the bars?

You work in any of them.

There's three bars, cos there's three levels.

Is there a favourite bar?

Which is the nicest?

I think people tip better in the stalls bar, so...

that's probably my favourite.

They're the more expensive seats?

Yeah.

Does that mean, by the time the interval is over,

your work is largely done?

Yeah, when the interval's over, I go home.

Oh-ho-ho! Well, that's nice!

Now, Jon, you're on 7.

The highest scorers at the moment on 16 are Taz and Hannah,

which means, if you can score 8 or less,

-you are definitely into the next round.

-OK.

I'm going to go with... I hope it's a state.

I'm going to go with South Dakota.

South Dakota, says Jon.

South Dakota. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that red line,

you are definitely in the next round.

Let's seen how many people said South Dakota.

Look at that.

Very well done indeed. 15. APPLAUSE

It takes your total up to 22.

I think you have done enough there, Jon.

Home of the mashed potato wrestling competition...

Oh!

..which is wrestling in mashed potato

rather than wrestling mashed potato.

The Mashed Potato Wrestling State.

That's a lovely tradition, isn't it?

What if it's an enormous potato and you fight inside the jacket?

-A jackets-on fight?

-That'd be good!

And you go in when it's solid.

You have to work your way through the potato

and then, when the victor leaves,

dragging out the...

his opponent, the potato is mashed.

-Perfect. And someone adds beans.

-LAUGHTER

Oh!

Do you think someone eats the mashed potato after the wrestling bout?

Oh, I would hope not.

I bet somebody does, though.

The wrestlers, they cover themselves in butter.

They say it's to flavour the mashed potato,

but we know it's just a tactic.

-And pepper.

-And pepper, yeah.

And, slightly bafflingly, sometimes cottage cheese.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now, Ayesha, lovely to have you here.

-Hi.

Welcome to Pointless.

What do you do, Ayesha?

I'm a student at the University of Liverpool at the moment.

-And what are you studying?

-Biomedical sciences.

Biomedical... Now, tell us what biomedical science is?

It's basically figuring out what's wrong with people

and what we can do about it.

So we're the pioneers behind new medicines and things like that.

Ooh, that's exciting. What year are you in?

-I'm a second year.

-How long is the course?

-It's three years.

-Three years.

And then you would go where after that?

Do you go to hospitals?

I'm probably going to stay and do a Masters,

and then probably go into research,

because I want to be a scientist in the lab.

-I see. So, more lab-based than hospital-based?

-Yes.

OK. Now, Ayesha, there you are on 4.

Our high-scorers, at the moment, are behind you, Jon and Larry on 22.

So, 17 is your target.

OK. I am going to go for...

Rhode Island.

Rhode Island, says Ayesha.

Now, that sounds, to me, like a low scorer.

Let's see if it is. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you're in the next round.

Look at that! Very well done indeed.

Look at that for efficiency as well. 15.

APPLAUSE You needed 17. You got 15.

19 is your total.

Yeah, that's the smallest state in America.

It always has to sit at the front in photographs.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard.

Hannah, welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Hannah.

I'm a support worker for a disabled children's team.

That's right.

And what do you like getting up to in your spare time, Hannah?

I dabble in, like, various hobbies!

I tend to try and, like, take up hobbies,

realise they're not for me...

You've taken a run at quite a lot of hobbies in your time then, have you?

-Yeah.

-Any ones you've really particularly not liked?

I went through a big phase of balloon modelling.

We've all done that. We've all gone through that phase(!)

Yeah, I couldn't get past the dog.

Well, that's...

A lot of people have trouble getting past that!

So, balloon modelling. What else have you done?

I decided I was going to become a top cyclist

but, unfortunately, I'm not very good at cycling.

-So, I bought a bike...

-Oh, no. I can see that would be an impediment.

-No, shelve that. Shelve that.

-Gone.

Move on. What was the next?

I've dabbled in puzzles.

-That's good.

-Yeah, I enjoyed that one.

You could say one of your hobbies is just dabbling.

Dabbling is a great hobby.

-That's my main hobby.

-I think that's a top hobby.

-You could be one of the top dabblists.

-Yeah.

-There we are.

-That's what I aim to be.

Good stuff. Now, Hannah, you're on 16.

The high-scorers on 22 are Jon and Larry.

If you can score five or less -

a little bit of pressure there,

but who knows?

There may be some low-scoring states.

US states is not my strong point.

I don't know if I'm thinking of cities or states.

I'm going to say...

-Arizona.

-Arizona?

-I don't know if that's a state.

-Well, let's find out.

Arizona. Here is your red line.

It is a low one.

Let's find out how far down the column you get with Arizona.

Very much a state.

It's getting closer to that line.

Still getting closer. look at that.

Oh, 14! APPLAUSE

14, taking your total neatly up to 30.

You may still be in the game.

Not a bad answer at all.

They call it the Grand Canyon State, but nobody knows why.

One of those great mysteries.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Maja, here also from Borehamwood.

-Yeah, I'm afraid so.

-What keeps you busy in Borehamwood, Maja?

Well, I work alongside Annette.

I'm a revenues officer.

So I'm really popular and collect council tax.

Excellent! Everyone loves to see Maja come round(!)

What are your hobbies, Maja?

I like reading.

We do a lot of girlie outs,

a bit of travelling,

weekends away, abroad.

-Lovely.

-Lots of stuff like that.

Good stuff. Now, Maja, you have to score

18 or less with your answer here.

Have you had lots of answers that other people have said?

Well, actually, no.

So, I think we have had South Dakota,

so I will try North Dakota...

It stands to reason, doesn't it?

..and keep my fingers crossed.

Keep them crossed. There's your red line.

If you can get below that red line with North Dakota,

you are through to Round Two.

Good luck.

You've done it! Very well done indeed.

Look at that! 5 for North Dakota. APPLAUSE

The second lowest score of the round...

taking your total to 16.

Yeah, scores less than South Dakota.

So people were, sort of, saying South Dakota

and forgetting North Dakota.

Now, 4 is the best answer you could possibly have given.

So, Nebraska was a terrific answer.

There's one other answer that would have scored you 4,

and that is Maryland.

You'd have got 5 for Illinois, West Virginia, Minnesota.

6 for Connecticut, 7 for Vermont,

8 for Kentucky, Colorado, Delaware,

Tennessee, Kansas and Louisiana.

16 for South Carolina and New Jersey.

Alaska scored 21, Florida 26,

Washington 27, California 35.

Let's take a look at the top three scorers.

On 36 points, we have Pennsylvania.

48, Texas.

And right at the top, with 53, New York.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair we're sending away, with their not-that-high score of 30,

I'm afraid it's our head-to-headers from last time, Hannah and Taz.

I'm so sorry. Far too soon.

This wasn't in the script at all.

I thought you were going all the way today.

But this is where we say goodbye.

-Thank you so much for coming to play, Hannah and Taz.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs,

it's now time for Round Two.

And so, we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we will be down to two pairs.

Congratulations, Nadeem and Maja,

for our lovely low scores in that round.

But congratulations, everyone.

Not an incorrect answer in the whole round,

which is nothing less than we expect and hope for on Pointless,

but you never know. Anyway, the best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today...

European Transport.

Can you all decide, in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question is all about...

What about that? Types of transport in French, Richard.

On each board, Xander is going to expertly pronounce

a series of French names for transport.

We just need the English equivalent, please, for each of those.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at, at home.

Very best of luck. Now, let's all enjoy the silky tones...

-IN FRENCH ACCENT:

-..of Monsieur Alexander Armstrong.

LAUGHTER

OK. So, we want to know what these types of transport are in English.

Here they are in French.

We have...

I'll read those one last time.

But what does it all mean, Maja?

I don't know.

Well, I know a couple.

I think they might be high-scorers.

So I think I'm going to have a quick punt at...

une montgolfiere, as a golf buggy.

-Surely!

-Maybe.

Surely une montgolfiere, a golf buggy.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh!

AUDIENCE GROANS

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear indeed.

That is not a golf buggy, I'm afraid.

It scores you 100 points. Sorry, Maja.

Do you know what? 13 out of our 100 said exactly the same thing.

-Too obvious.

-Made exactly the same... Yeah.

And yet, not right.

Too obvious and not right is a bad combination, isn't it?

Nadeem. What are you going to go for on this board?

I haven't studied French since I was maybe 12 years old, maybe 13.

Yeah, that's about four years ago!

LAUGHTER

I'm a little older than I look.

A little older.

Ooh.

I could take a risk, but I think I'm going to go with un velo -

with my terrible French accent, sorry -

and go with bicycle.

A bicycle, says Nadeem.

A bike for un velo.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said bicycle.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

41.

-Not bad.

-Yeah, well played.

Hence velodrome.

And also, if you win the Tour de France,

you wear the "velo" jersey as well.

It all comes from...

-It comes from the same place.

-From the same root.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Jon, you're the last person to have this board of fun.

Do you want to talk us through it and fill in all the blanks?

No. I couldn't...

Un camion... Camel?

LAUGHTER

It's a mode of transport!

Exactly.

The only one I knew was un velo.

But...

I'm just gone to take a guess and say un avion, plane sounds...

-Un avion, plane.

-Yeah.

OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of a 100 people said plane, for avion.

It's right.

Well, 100 was our highest score, which you've passed...

You come down to 67. APPLAUSE

Yeah, the biggest answer on the board there.

It must've been tucked away somewhere in the back of your brain.

-Un camion?

-Is a lorry.

-It is a lorry.

That would have scored you 17 points.

Now, une montgolfiere is named after the brothers who invented it.

They were the Montgolfier brothers, who invented the hot-air balloon.

-Ahh!

-Yeah, 21 points for that.

-Aeroglisseur...

-Aeroglisseur...

must be a glider.

-It's not, it's a hovercraft.

-It's a hovercraft.

-What about that?

-Two points for that.

Do you know this one, une planche a roulettes?

I didn't know this one.

It's a plank with wheels.

-I'm guessing it's a skateboard.

-It is a skateboard, yep.

It is a skateboard, and that would have scored 11.

So, hovercraft is the best answer.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

OK, let's take a look at the scores as we're halfway through the round.

Yes, quite high scores in this round.

Not surprising, that was not an easy board.

41, Nadeem, turns out to have been the best score of that pass,

so well done. Nadeem and Ayesha looking very strong at this point.

As, I would say, are Jon and Larry on 67.

And then Maja and Annette on 100.

Annette, how good's your French?

Very poor.

Good luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more French terms up on the board,

and here they come. We have...

I'll read those again.

There we are.

Larry, remember, we're looking for the English names

for these French modes of transport

and, as ever, you're going to try and find

the most obscure one you can on that board.

Ideally, you would score 32 or less.

Well, my French is hopeless, so it's going to be a guess.

I'm going to go for un moto and say car.

Car, surely.

Car. Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with car,

you are into the head-to-head.

Let's see how close to the red line you can get with car.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer,

which means you score 100 points,

taking your total to 167.

Sorry, Larry.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Ayesha, good news.

You're through to the next round, even if you score 100 points.

OK.

I'm going to take a risk, because I'm already through.

I'm going to go with un sous-marin with submarine.

Submarine, surely. Submarine.

No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how far down the column you get with submarine.

It's right.

34. Really not bad at all. APPLAUSE

75 is your total.

The French had a sort of precursor to the submarine

as early as the 17th century.

They had a semi-submerged warship...

in the 17th century.

Wow!

So down it went, with a couple of tubes

-and people pumping air, presumably?

-Yeah, maybe.

-Maybe.

-Yeah, maybe.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Thank you.

Now, Annette, you have to score 66 or less.

Do you fancy taking an amble through these French modes of transport?

No!

I'm going to have a guess, and it is a guess - un moto as a motorcycle.

Motorcycle.

Oh. Moto, motorcycle.

Let's see if that's right. There's your red line.

Get below that with motorcycle and you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Through you go to the head-to-head,

Annette, very well done indeed.

26. APPLAUSE

Good score.

126 is your total.

Well played, Annette, and car, of course, is voiture rather than moto.

Now, talking of voitures, une voiture de pompiers...

-Fire engine.

-It's a fire engine, pompier being a fire officer.

18 points for that.

-Un bateau?

-A boat.

A boat, correct. 50 points for that.

Can you guess deltaplane?

A deltaplane?

I mean, is it a flying boat?

-I've no idea.

-No, think about the delta shape.

It's a hang glider.

-Of course it is.

-Four points for that.

And une fusee, do you know that one?

-That is a rocket.

-It is a rocket.

That is a really, really show-offy form of transport...

-Yeah.

-..and that would have scored you eight points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

the pair we send home, with their highest score of 167,

it's Larry and Jon, our only other returning pair.

What about that? I'm so sorry.

Again, I thought you were going to go further this time,

but I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye,

but thanks so much for playing, Larry and Jon.

APPLAUSE

But for Nadeem and Ayesha, and Maja and Annette,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Nadeem and Ayesha, Maja and Annette,

you are now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for that jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, here we are in the head-to-head,

where you can start playing as a team -

which means you can chat before you give your answers,

which I think takes the pressure off a little bit.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well done, you've seen off our two returning players and, yes,

from hereon in, we are in uncharted territory.

So, best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Animals found on the Galapagos Islands.

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now

of animals you might find in the Galapagos Islands.

We're going to give you alternate letters of their names as well.

Can you tell us what they are, please?

OK. Let's reveal our five animals, and here they are.

We've got...

There we are, five animals found on the Galapagos Islands.

Now, Nadeem and Ayesha, you will go first as our low scorers.

We're going to go with E,

and say blue-footed booby.

Blue-footed booby, say Nadeem and Ayesha for E.

Now then, Maja and Annette...

do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

It's a tricky one.

There's only two that we knew, I think, anyway.

We've seen giant tortoise.

Or I think we ought to go for maybe A.

Yeah, yeah.

A, marine iguana.

OK, marine iguana, you're going to say for A.

So we have blue-footed booby and we have marine iguana.

OK, now then, Nadeem and Ayesha said blue-footed booby for E.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

There we are. APPLAUSE

17 for blue-footed booby.

A popular answer with anyone who's played bird bingo,

I should think, that one.

Now, Maja and Annette have, meanwhile,

gone for the marine iguana for A.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's going to be close.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

18! Couldn't be closer! APPLAUSE

Wow!

I said it was going to be an exciting head-to-head.

Well done, Nadeem and Ayesha,

after one question, you are up 1-0.

How about that?

Now, B...

We'll just play a game of fill in the gaps, really.

The last word is "locust".

I'm guessing "large" is the first.

"Large" is the first word, yeah.

Painted?

It is the large painted locust, yeah.

It does look painted.

That would have scored eight points.

You know that can jump

up to three metres in the air?

-Oh, I wouldn't like that.

-No.

I mean, only...

I mean, from the nose and above, in your case, would be safe -

but...yeah.

Oh, could you imagine?

They're quite expensive.

It's cheaper if you get a large unpainted locust,

it's slightly cheaper, and you paint it yourself,

but they're still expensive.

Now, C is, of course...

-The giant tortoise.

-..the giant tortoise.

Although, you know what? It only scores 49,

but I think maybe people said "great",

even though it doesn't quite fit or something like that.

You can't tell how giant that is, though.

I'd like to see a giant tortoise next to the large painted locust.

-Yes.

-Just to see...

-To see how giant it is.

-..who's kidding who.

And D...

-Silly.

-It's not silly, actually.

Oh, no.

It's something...

-Salty?

-Salty.

Long...

Long doesn't fit.

Salty lognovet, you've got it. It's salty lognovet(!)

You know what it is? It's Sally Lightfoot.

Sally Lightfoot.

I was at school with her!

-LAUGHTER

-I know.

God, she's changed.

She really has changed.

She got turned into a crab in a university prank...

-That fits.

-..and, yeah, never came back -

but there she is, she's doing all right for herself.

That's from her Instagram page.

There, she's saying, "Having rock pool LOLs."

-Sally.

-LAUGHTER

And, if you did say Sally Lightfoot,

congratulations, pointless answer.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK, so here comes your second question.

Now, Maja and Annette, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so the very best of luck.

Our second question is all about...

Countries beginning with A, B or C, Richard.

Simply five clues to countries whose names begin with A, B or C.

Easy as that. Here are the five clues.

I'll read all of those again.

Over to you, Maja and Annette.

-Tricky. Shall we go with that?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

I think the only one we're really sure of is the Tasmanian devil,

and we would say Australia.

Australia, say Maja and Annette. Australia.

Now then, Nadeem and Ayesha,

do you feel up to talking us through that board?

We think the first one might be Bangladesh, but we're not 100%.

The second one, you thought maybe Congo.

-Possibly.

-Halloumi cheese...

We think Cyprus.

And winning the World Cup...

..we think possibly Brazil, '78.

But we're going to go for Cyprus for halloumi cheese.

Cyprus for halloumi cheese.

So we have Australia and we have Cyprus.

Now then, Maja and Annette said Australia,

for the Tasmanian devil.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

Oh!

69.

APPLAUSE

A high one.

Now then, Nadeem and Ayesha have gone for Cyprus

as the country from which halloumi cheese originates.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Very well done.

You have won this one.

APPLAUSE 18 to 69

and after two questions, Nadeem and Ayesha,

you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yeah, very well played as well.

I bet lots of people think of it as Greece,

or it must be somewhere near Greece.

I was thinking maybe Albania, but Cyprus is a great answer.

Well played.

You were right about the top one as well.

Would have scored you one more point,

would have scored 19 for Bangladesh.

Do you know the second one, the Alexander McCall Smith one?

Funnily enough, he was born in what was Southern Rhodesia,

which is now Zimbabwe,

studied law in Edinburgh

and then went back to help found the law school

at the University of Botswana.

-Oh.

-It's in Botswana.

-Yes.

Would have scored 16.

And it wasn't Brazil,

it was Argentina who won for the first time in 1978,

and that would have scored 32.

So, the best answer on the board there, 16 points, Botswana.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round

I'm afraid, is Maja and Annette.

Oh, that was close.

I mean, your iguana answer in the first question...

Oh, so close!

But it's great news. It means we get to see you again next time,

cos otherwise you'd have gone on to the final,

you'd have disappeared and we'd never have seen you again,

but, as it happens, you'll get two bites at the Pointless cherry

and we look forward to seeing you then.

Meantime, thanks very much, Maja and Annette.

-Tremendous.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

-Yeah, good luck.

But, for Nadeem and Ayesha, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Nadeem and Ayesha.

You have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, we have taken you through, I think, a pretty,

I mean, a broad range of questions, I'll say.

We had American states,

we had French modes of transport in English,

then we had animals from the Galapagos Islands

and we had countries beginning with A, B or C.

I mean, "Is there anything we've missed out?" is what I'm wondering.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

We're both quite good with our science, cos that's...

We're both in that sort of field.

-Science, geography...

-Yeah.

..maybe football. Some sort of recent history, that kind of thing.

OK, well, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four that we put up on the board.

We just have to hope there's something up there

that you quite like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this.

We've got...

It's literally up to you, because I'd be terrible at all of them.

Yeah, we would not be great at most of these.

You're quite good with your films.

Action Actors might be...

-Yeah.

-Might be the one, yeah.

I can't even think what the last one will involve.

-I think...

-Let's go with Action Actors.

-Action Actors.

OK, Action Actors it is.

Very best of luck.

We're looking for any feature film

for which any of the following three have received a credit, please.

We're looking for...

So, according to IMDB,

up to the end of February 2016,

we're looking to any films starring Steven Seagal,

Jason Statham or Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need, to win the jackpot,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK.

-OK.

Jason Statham, the only thing I know is Expendables.

Expendables 2.

Fast and Furious 7, he was in...

-Right.

-It was quite recent.

-Steven Seagal...

-Was Jean-Claude Van Damme in Expendables as well?

I would imagine so.

Any Steven Seagal films? I'm really bad at this.

-I don't know.

-Do you know any?

I don't even know who Steven Seagal is.

Oh. Everyone's going to be mad at us for that.

Jason Statham, do you know any...?

Jason Statham, I mean, there's a few...

He's played a lot of East End gangsters, hasn't he? So...

He's the hard man, isn't he?

I don't know if he is in, like,

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and Snatch - those kind of films.

Snatch.

But I don't think they'll be pointless.

Tough. Let me think about Jason Statham.

-OK.

-Jason Statham...

Trying to picture him in a number of films.

-Dad would know this.

-Ten seconds.

-Let's go with Fast and Furious

-7. Yeah.

-Expendables

-2? Expendables 2, for who? Jason Statham?

-Jason Statham.

-Was that him?

-I'm pretty sure.

OK, that's your time up.

Let's have your three answers.

OK, so, for Jason Statham films,

we're going to go with Fast and Furious 7.

Fast and Furious 7.

We're going to go with, for Jason Statham as well,

Expendables 2.

Expendables 2.

And, for Jason Statham again, we'll go with...

..Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Lock, Stock.

-Yeah.

-Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

OK, Lock, Stock we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Fast and Furious 7?

-Fast and Furious 7.

Fast and Furious 7, we put first.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order then,

and here they are.

We have got...

Well, very, very best of luck.

Three answers on the board there.

Now, let's just imagine one of those ends up being pointless

and wins you that jackpot.

What would you do with your £1,000?

Nadeem, you first.

Oh, I'd probably put it towards travelling.

I've seen a lot of Western Europe

but I haven't seen much of Eastern Europe at this point,

so I'd probably, yeah,

organise a trip, with maybe a few friends, around that area.

Very nice. Ayesha, how about you?

I really would like to go to some festivals,

so I'd probably put it towards that.

Excellent. Well, best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers wins you that jackpot.

Your first answer was Fast and Furious 7.

In this case, we were looking for Jason Statham films.

This has to be pointless for you to win, but it could easily be.

Let's find out. Fast and Furious 7,

is it pointless, for £1,000?

Well, it's right.

Down it goes. Fast and Furious 7, taking us through the 40s.

If this goes all the way down to zero, it will win you £1,000.

We are into single figures.

Down it goes, still going down.

4!

That's exciting. APPLAUSE

Four people away from £1,000 there.

Sadly not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was The Expendables 2.

Again, we were looking for Jason Statham films.

If this is pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many people named The Expendables 2

as a Jason Statham film?

It's also correct.

Your first answer, Fast and Furious 7, took us all the way down to 4.

The Expendables 2 takes us down through the teens,

into single figures.

Down it goes. Still going down. Passes four...

Oh, stops at 2!

APPLAUSE

Tell you what, this is all moving in the right direction, isn't it?

-Maybe.

-Down from 4, down to 2.

Only one more shot at today's jackpot.

Well, now, if you placed these in the correct order,

we should see this going down, correspondingly,

maybe down to 1 or maybe down to pointless.

Your last answer was Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Once again, we were looking for Jason Statham films.

If this does go down to zero, you will leave here with £1,000.

How many of our 100 people named Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?

It's right.

So, the first answer, Fast and Furious 7, took us down to 4.

The second, The Expendables 2, took us down to 2.

Your third and final, and most confident answer -

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - takes us down...

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

6.

APPLAUSE

-We did all right.

-Yeah.

I'll tell you what, three brilliant scores there.

I mean, in normal Pointless gameplay, that...

-You'd take any of those scores, wouldn't you?

-Definitely.

But sadly, we didn't get that pointless answer we needed.

I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000,

that rolls over onto the next show,

but it's been brilliant having you here.

I mean, fantastic play all the way through.

2-0 in the head-to-head.

I mean, never any argument with that.

And you get a Pointless trophy each to take home,

in recognition of that achievement.

So, very well done, Nadeem and Ayesha.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very solid effort there.

I'm going to take you through the pointless answers

in the different categories. There's some great-named films here,

as you'd imagine. Some great-named films.

We'll start with Steven Seagal.

Lots of people at home might have got Executive Decision.

That was a pointless answer.

Now some of his other films.

If you didn't know who this guy was,

you'd understand the sort of actor he was.

Born To Raise Hell,

Force Of Execution,

Gutshot...

LAUGHTER

..Half Past Dead,

Mercenary Absolution

and, sums it all up,

The Perfect Weapon.

Jason Statham now.

He had a couple of big films here.

Collateral. The Guy Ritchie movie, Revolver.

He's in The Italian Job as well, was a pointless answer.

The One, 13, Blitz, Cellular, Death Race.

All of those pointless answers.

Jean-Claude Van Damme now,

who's also got some brilliantly-named films.

You also could have had

Assassination Games,

Death Warrant,

In Hell,

No Retreat, No Surrender,

Until Death,

and Kung Fu Panda 3.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, Nadeem and Ayesha, very sadly, didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me.

Goodbye.

APPLAUSE