Episode 35 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a very warm welcome to Pointless -

the show were obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one...

Hi, I'm Arry and this is Ash, and we're from Nuneaton.

-Couple number two...

-Hi, my name's Gareth,

this is my girlfriend, Kelly, and we're from Watford.

Couple number three...

Hello, my name's Shani and this is my husband, Carl,

and we live in Barnsley.

And finally, couple number four...

Hello, my name's Annette, this is my friend, Maja,

and we're from Borehamwood.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much to all of you. We'll get to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Taxing us like the Revenue, it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hey, everybody.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

-Now...

we've got a returning pair here, and it's Maja and Annette,

who got all the way through to the head-to-head.

Very impressive performance. But... You'll have spotted this.

Everyone at home would have spotted this.

Sort of Pointless history. We've got Ash here and Arry.

First time ever we've got a pair of contestants who,

if you put C in front of both of their names,

you get the name of a famous wholesale warehouse.

LAUGHTER Oh, that's great, isn't it?

It's never happened before.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Can you believe that's never happened before?

-Can't believe it.

-So weird, isn't it?

The amount of shows we've done, it's the first time.

LAUGHTER

What a joyous thing that is.

Ah, brilliant. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, listen to this -

Nadeem and Ayesha didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So, today's jackpot starts off...

..at £2,000.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, I mean... You know this anyway,

but I'm just going to say it again for the fun of it.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. So your job is to make sure you are not that pair,

is what I'm saying. Keep those scores down.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today...

..is History.

It's History. Can you all decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Crime And Punishment, Richard.

We're going to show you seven clues on each pass here,

all about the history of Crime And Punishment.

Just give us a nice, obscure answer if you can.

14 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So we're looking for the answers to these clues, essentially.

Here is our first board of seven clues.

And they read like this...

I'll read those again.

There we are.

-Arry.

-Yes?

Good to have you here, Arry.

-Where have you come from?

-Nuneaton.

From Nuneaton. What do you do in Nuneaton?

I'm a field sales rep.

A field sales rep.

Can I ask what field, loosely, you are a sales rep in?

-The tobacco industry.

-I see. The tobacco industry.

What are your hobbies, Arry?

I enjoy football. I also collect watches as well.

-You collect watches?

-I do, yes.

-How many have you got?

-I currently have a collection of about 12.

Oh, very nice indeed.

Very good. OK, Arry, what are you going to go for on our board?

Um...

The letter D stands for...

I'm going to say Dunce.

Dunce, says Arry. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dunce.

-Eee.

-Ah!

Urgh. 88. APPLAUSE

88. However, you never know, you might have taken

the only answer off the board that everyone else knew.

So 88 might be a good score to have at this stage.

That is a surprisingly big score for that answer, I would have thought.

The name comes from the followers of John Duns Scotus,

who was a Scottish theologian,

and they were decried for sort of being fools,

which they were no more or no less than anyone else.

But that's where it came from.

There we are. Thank you, Richard. Now, Kelly.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here, Kelly.

Here from Watford. What do you do?

I work in retail support for a retail finance company.

Right you are. And what do you like getting up to when work is over?

In my spare time, if I can, I like to travel.

So I've been to Australia a few times, Thailand, America...

Oh, so you do proper travel.

You save it all up and do a proper, long journey.

That's it. But we have just recently

been to Amsterdam for a weekend away.

OK, well, that makes a change.

Did you just think, "Oh, maybe city breaks aren't so bad"?

Yeah, no, it was really good. Really impressed with Amsterdam.

-It's a lovely city, isn't it?

-Yes.

Now, Kelly, what would you like to go for?

I am going to attempt the 18th-century English highwayman

who rode a horse called Black Bess, and I'm going to go for Dick Turpin.

Dick Turpin, says Kelly. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got Dick Turpin.

It's right. Well, you pass 88.

59.

It's all going in the right direction.

Yeah, born in Essex and trained as a butcher, Dick Turpin.

When he achieved notoriety, he moved up to Yorkshire.

He was eventually executed for stealing horses.

-Don't steal horses, kids. That's the...

-Yeah.

But he was kind of a folk hero even in his time, wasn't he, Dick Turpin?

-Yeah, he was.

-Yeah, yeah, interesting.

Possibly for his sausages. I don't know. I can't remember.

Yes, they loved his sausages.

And his surname is an anagram of turnip.

LAUGHTER

-Nothing wrong with that.

-Nothing wrong with any of these things.

There we are. OK, Carl, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Carl?

I work at a glass factory.

Oh, that's fun. What do you do there?

Well, I'm still a trainee at the minute,

but I'm studying different ways to make glass jars and glass bottles.

So do you do any blowing?

No. It's a bit more modern than that.

-It's a bit more...

-Yeah.

Oh, but that's fun. That's good.

When do you finish your training?

It's between six months... Things like that.

At the end of the day, you're SHATTERED, I should think.

Sorry, that's-that's just... GROANS AND LAUGHTER

There we go. Good. Laugh it out. Laugh it out.

OK, Carl, what would you like to go for?

Er...

I'm going to have to go for the top one. I think it's Australia.

Australia. Australia, says Carl.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people got Australia.

88 is the high score.

59 the low.

74. Lands roughly between.

74 for Australia.

Some big scoring going on, isn't there, for some of these?

Yeah, originally British convicts would be transported to America,

but after the Declaration Of Independence,

couldn't do it any more, so Australia.

-Australia it was.

-Yeah.

Oh, OK.

Now, Annette.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Welcome back. Our returning pair from the head-to-head.

Got to have your eyes on the final this time, surely.

Well, I hope so, but looking at that board, I'm not so sure!

Well, just remind us what you do, Annette.

I'm a local government officer from Borehamwood.

There we are. Now, do you want to talk us through the board?

No, they'd be sheer guesses, unfortunately.

But I'll have a guess at Thomas Becket

was assassinated in St Paul's.

In St Paul's.

OK, St Paul's, says Annette.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, back luck, Annette.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points.

But it's been a very high-scoring round so far,

so you're not really... You're in pretty good company, still.

Yeah, sorry, Annette. Not St Paul's, it was Canterbury Cathedral.

Canterbury was the answer there.

Would have scored 39 points.

Now, in law, a mulct is another name for a fine.

Very well done if you said that. 4 points if you did.

-LAUGHING:

-I had a guess at this next one.

The 19th-century prison ship named after the Marvel...

I thought... "Iron Man?"

-Because you would think...

-Yeah, clapped in.

-Exactly.

But it's not, of course. When you hear the answer...

-Hulk.

-Ah, of course.

That would have scored you 8 points.

The legal term there for unlawful imprisonment.

The answer is... You have the...

-Body.

-Body. Yep.

And that would have scored 27.

So, best answer up there - fine.

Thanks, Richard. Well, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores.

59 is the lowest score of the pass.

So Kelly and Gareth looking pretty strong at this point.

Then up to 74, where we find Carl and Shani.

88, Arry and Ash.

And then up to 100, not too far ahead, Annette and Maja.

Maja, we do need a low-scoring answer from you

to keep you in the game. Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues to Crime And Punishment

up on the board.

And here they are.

I'll read those all again.

Now, then, Maja, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Here from Borehamwood.

And you work just next-door to Annette, pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much. Same floor.

Who started working there first?

Me. I've been there 28 years.

And how long has newcomer Annette...?

14. About 14.

Did you hit it off immediately?

Yeah, we sort of knew each other before.

Well, I knew Annette...

Of Annette. She didn't remember me from school. So...

-Oh, you were at school together?

-Yeah.

And you said to her, "Oh, Annette, remember me?"

-And she said, "No."

-I didn't expect she would ever remember me.

-We were in different years.

-Oh, fair enough.

-She's older, obviously.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks(!)

I like the "obviously".

Now, Maja, you are our high scorers on 100. We need a low score.

But look at that - you've got a pristine, box-fresh board there.

I have. I wish it was the one before, though, to be fair.

I knew quite a low score on that board.

It's probably going to be a really obvious one,

and I think I'm going to say...

Jack the Ripper is London.

Jack the Ripper, London, says Maja.

Well, there's no red line for you as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said London.

It's right.

-Oh!

-And 80 is what it scores.

Takes your total up to 180.

Well, there is a scenario in which you could remain with us.

-Strange that it would score fewer than dunce, I would say.

-Yeah.

Don't you think?

I would have thought that would be in the 90s.

Yeah. Anyway, there we are.

-Thank you, Richard. Now, Shani, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

What do you do, Shani?

I work part-time as a therapy assistant,

but I'm also studying part-time at university as well.

What are you studying?

An occupational therapist, that's what I want to be.

Right you are. So in the same sort of area.

-Yeah, yeah.

-What do you like to get up to

when you're not working and studying?

It doesn't leave you a lot of time.

No. We've got two Jack Russells, Stan and Ollie.

-Very nice.

-So we like walking those every day.

We go to the cinema a lot as well on a weekend.

Very good. Now, Shani, you're on 74 -

the high scorers are out of your reach,

even if you score 100 points, which is great news.

It is. History is not my strong point at all.

I'm going to take a guess at the decade and say the '60s.

-This is for the abolition of the cane in private schools.

-Yeah.

-OK, let's see. The '60s, says Shani.

-No idea.

No red line for you because you're already through, which is nice.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the '60s. Is it right?

It's not correct.

Scores 100 points, takes your total up to 174.

But you're through.

-I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass, Shani.

-OK.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Gareth.

-Hi.

-A warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

What keeps you busy in Watford, Gareth?

Well, I like my films.

I'm really big into films.

I'm a big Tottenham Hotspur fan, follow them as much as I can.

I'm also a really keen fruit and vegetable grower.

-Are you?

-I am indeed.

-When did you get into that?

About sort of over a year ago,

we started planting some seeds and it went on from there.

So what were the first things you grew?

-The first year?

-The best things we grew were courgettes.

I was going to say courgettes.

Fail-safe. Do you grow any salads, things like that?

-Yeah, a bit of leaf, rocket...

-Yeah? Very nice.

Right, Gareth, you're on 59.

The high scorers, again, out of your reach.

Doesn't matter what you score here.

OK, I'm going to go for the top answer...

Sorry, the top question, Australian bush ranger,

and I think that's Ned Kelly.

Ned Kelly, says Gareth.

No red line for you, you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 said Ned Kelly.

Good answer, Gareth.

Down it goes. That's not bad at all.

-37.

-I have a feeling that's our lowest score of the round so far.

Yes, it is.

Takes your total up to 96.

Well played, Gareth. Yeah, he'd previously been played

by Mick Jagger as well, in another film.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Ash, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here, Ash.

-Thank you.

What do you do, Ash?

Ironically, I work at a cash and carry.

No! LAUGHTER

I do. Yeah.

-What about that?

-No way!

Ash and Arry. Oh, it's a shame...

Arry, what would it take for you to be persuaded to go and work with Ash?

I previously did work there.

-No!

-Two years ago, yes.

You are kidding.

Did everyone say, "Hey, it's Ash and Arry." Or...

No. You're the first people to pick up on it.

LAUGHTER

What?! You guys need to go back there.

-Yeah.

-Outrageous!

-Oh!

How fantastic!

How long have you been there, Ash?

I've been there five years. It was a part-time job while I was at uni,

but now I'm a delivery supervisor there, so...

You're going to stick with it there?

Well, it's a bit of experience,

just to build the CV and see what happens.

-That's fun.

-Yeah, it's not too bad.

OK, now, Ash, you have a job here, which is to score 91 or less...

-Yes.

-..to keep you in the game.

Would you like to talk us through the board?

I'd love to. Um...

I'm unsure, though, to be honest.

I think I've only got one answer that is viable

and that is Leonardo DiCaprio's film, which is Catch Me If You Can.

Catch Me If You Can, says Ash.

Here is your red line. Nice and high.

But if you can get below that with Catch Me If You Can,

you are into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Look at that. Well done.

Comfortably through.

29. Our new lowest score of the round, actually.

Taking your total up to 117.

Great score, Ash. Very well played.

Now, let's go through the rest of this, shall we?

The future UK Prime Minister who established the police?

-Robert Peel.

-Robert Peel.

Bobbies and peelers, of course.

50 points for that. Do you know the decade in which

the cane was abolished in private schools?

The '80s or '90s. Let's say the '90s.

It WAS the '90s, yeah. The '90s would've scored 5 points.

It was abolished in state schools in the '80s.

The gunfight at the OK Corral. Do you know this one?

It's good. You'll know the name. It was in Tombstone.

Oh, yes. Yes. I should've known that.

Would've scored 6 points.

-And of course the Mona Lisa...

-The Louvre.

-Stolen from the Louvre.

That would have scored 69 points.

So the '90s is the best answer there.

Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

it's our only returning pair.

Look at that, Maja and Annette.

I'm so sorry. Crime And Punishment.

I'm afraid you had your comeuppance there.

-I'm sorry.

-We did.

-We did.

-Head-to-head last time.

-Never mind.

-Let the side down.

I'm so sorry. It's a shame to have to say goodbye so soon,

but it's been great having you on both shows.

-Thank you so much, Maja and Annette.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And look at that, suddenly we're down to three pairs.

Ooh, it's getting very intimate here, isn't it?

At the end of this round, we'll be down to two pairs

in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, Ash, very well done to you. Our lowest score in that round.

But that was an appropriately punishing round,

that one, wasn't it? Very high scores all around.

Anyway, well done. We all survived.

Best of luck to all three pairs for our next round,

and our category for Round Two today...

..is Cinema. Cinema. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

..Iconic Film Stars.

Iconic Film Stars. Richard.

Yeah, Xander's about to show you a board with four iconic film stars

of a certain generation and you just need to tell us the name of any film

that any of these have ever been in, please, according to IMDb.

As always, it's a feature film made for cinema release.

No short films, documentaries, anything like that.

So any film any of the following four have been credited in.

OK, thanks very much indeed. So, as Richard just mentioned,

we're going to put four names on the board.

You just have to throw out the name of a film

that any one of those four has been in.

OK, so let's reveal those four iconic film stars,

and we have got...

Now then, Arry, we come to you first.

OK. I know Richard doesn't like this, but...

it's a bit before my time, I would say.

-Ssh!

-Oh!

None of it's before your time. All of these are available.

They're still available. It's your time now, right?

-OK, yes.

-These films still exist, yeah?

-Yep.

-So it's not before your time.

-Of course. Yes.

-LAUGHTER

OK, that is a verbal warning.

-That is a verbal warning. That's a yellow.

-Yeah.

I'll go for...

It's a bit of a guess. The Best Hotel Marigold, Julie Andrews.

The Best Hotel Marigold, says Arry.

The Best Hotel Marigold.

There's a faint murmuring coming from the crowd.

I wonder what THAT means.

Let's see what the column makes of it.

Bad luck, Arry. An incorrect answer there, scoring you 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Arry. I know you had to make the best of a bad deal there.

I'll give all the answers at the end of the round.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Kelly. Kelly, this isn't so bad, is it?

-It's OK, but...

-It's OK, good.

-..I might have a couple of obvious answers.

-Yes.

But I'm going to go with Audrey Hepburn and Breakfast At Tiffany's.

Breakfast At Tiffany's, says Kelly. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Breakfast At Tiffany's.

It's right.

Not bad. 49.

49.

Well played, Kelly.

Yeah, she was nominated for an Oscar for playing Holly Golightly in...

It's the film of the Truman Capote novel

and he wanted Marilyn Monroe to play Holly Golightly.

There we are. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now then, Shani.

Yes, I think I'll go with Julie Andrews and The Princess Diaries.

The Princess Diaries, says Shani. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Princess Diaries.

It's right.

Look at that, down it goes.

The Princess Diaries scores you 4.

Shani, very well done indeed on that far podium.

That's a very good answer.

Yeah, plays a queen in that, Julie Andrews.

One of her later films.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores before we head back down.

4, Shani, very well done indeed.

Lovely low scoring over there.

I'd say Shani and Carl are a shoo-in for the head-to-head

at this point. Then up to 49,

where we find Kelly and Gareth.

Then to 100, Arry and Ash.

So, yes, Ash, let's see what happens in the next pass.

Whatever happens, we need a low score from you, though,

so best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

Will the second players, please, step up to the podium?

OK, Carl, remember, we're looking for any film

starring any of these iconic film stars.

What would you like to go for?

If you can score 95 or less, you're definitely in the next round.

Embarrassingly, my answer was going to be The Princess Diaries, but...

I'm going to go for Singin' In The Rain.

Singin' In The Rain, says Carl.

Singin' In The Rain. Here's your red line. Nice and high.

If you get below that with Singin' In The Rain,

you're in the head-to-head.

There you are. Very well done.

Through you go.

50.

54 is your total.

Yeah, from 1952.

Nominated for two Oscars.

-What a wonderful film.

-Fantastic film.

Now, Gareth, there we are.

You are on 49. 50 or less gets you through.

I think, again, it's not a great one for me,

but I'm going to have to go for a more easy one,

so I think I'm going to say Julie Andrews and The Sound Of Music.

The Sound Of Music, says Gareth.

Here is your red line.

If you can get below that red line there, with The Sound Of Music,

you are into the head-to-head for sure.

It's right. There we are. 77.

I think you've kept yourself in the game there,

but you've given Ash a chance.

126 is your total.

Yeah, the very opening scene when she's singing the title song,

they kept having to re-film because she kept getting knocked over

-by the downdraught of the helicopter that was...

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

I'd like to see the outtakes from that.

Yeah, I'd love to see that.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, now, Ash, this is exciting.

You have to score 25 or less or we say goodbye to you.

Yeah. Might as well say goodbye now, I think.

LAUGHTER

I'll just say... James Bond, From Russia With Love.

OK, From Russia With Love, says Ash.

Well, let's find out. You never know.

There is your red line. From Russia With Love.

Were any of these stars in From Russia With Love?

Oh, I'm sorry, Ash.

I'm afraid you are now our newest members of the 200 club.

It's a great club to be part of. Some of the benefits...

-You don't get a trophy, though.

-No, not this time round.

You get a lovely scarf and a pocket square.

-OK.

-And it's...

You know, it's fun. We have outings regularly.

-And you get a special Ash and Arry discount card as well...

-Yeah.

-..which is great. Nice to have.

-LAUGHTER

It scores you 100 points,

-takes your total up to 200. Sorry, Ash.

-Yeah, unlucky.

Funnily enough, one of those rounds where you'd have gone through

if we follow the old rule of, if you don't know anything,

go for a sequel, cos Princess Diaries 2 would've scored 1 point.

Would have been a cracker.

Now, there's some good pointless answers here. Some lovely films.

Let's take a look at a few of them.

10. Julie Andrews in that with Dudley Moore.

Cover Girl, that's Gene Kelly.

The wonderful How To Steal A Million, it's a great film -

Audrey Hepburn in that.

Well worth watching.

Robin And Marian, that's an older Audrey Hepburn

with an older Sean Connery playing Robin and Marian.

Shall We Dance, that's Fred Astaire.

Lavender Hill Mob - a very, very early appearance of Audrey Hepburn,

one of her first ever film appearances.

Just a little walk-on part.

Very well done if you know it.

It's one of those little film facts that some people know.

Viva Knievel!

Gene Kelly plays Evel Knievel's alcoholic mechanic in that film.

Xanadu. That's also Gene Kelly.

And Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly both in the Ziegfield Follies.

Let's have a look at the top three scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

We've already heard all three of them -

Breakfast At Tiffany's, Singin' In The Rain and The Sound Of Music.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid it's Ash and Arry.

It's been great having you here.

We'll see you again next time and I hope you'll go a little bit further.

Meantime, thanks very much for playing, Ash and Arry.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Kelly and Gareth, Shani and Carl,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,000.

Oh, it's always a relief, isn't it, once you've got to the head-to-head?

Because you can now confer before you give your answers,

which is just lovely. The first pair to win two questions

will be playing for the jackpot.

-Oh, look, it's a north-south head-to-head.

-Ooh.

Look at that. Yes, it's Watford versus Barnsley.

Ooh, I wonder who's going to win.

We've had great answers from each pair.

Best of luck to both of you.

Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

BBC "Sound Of" Winners.

BBC "Sound Of" Winners.

Yeah, simply going to show you pictures now

of musical acts who have won the BBC "Sound Of" poll.

But who are they, please?

OK, let's reveal our five acts, and here they come.

We have got...

There we go. Five winners of the BBC "Sound Of" poll.

Now then, Kelly and Gareth,

you have been our low scorers up to this point,

so you will go first. Feel free to confer.

THEY WHISPER

We are going to have a shot at D,

and we think it's Years & Years.

Years & Years, say Kelly and Gareth for D.

OK, now then, Shani and Carl, that board is yours.

Talk us through it if you can.

I think A's Sam Smith.

B, Ellie Goulding.

C, Mika.

And E, 50 Cent.

I think if they're right, they've probably won the point,

but we'll say C, Mika.

C, Mika, say Shani and Carl.

C, Mika. So, we have Years & Years, and we have Mika.

Kelly and Gareth said Years & Years for D.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That's a good answer. Years & Years.

Look at that, ending up at 6. That's a fantastic answer.

Made good use of your beginner's advantage there, I'd say,

Kelly and Gareth. Now, Shani and Carl have gone for Mika for C.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Mika.

Ooh, not bad, not bad at all.

20.

But well done, Kelly and Gareth, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played. Now, these BBC "Sound Of" polls,

it's before these people are famous.

So they've got a very, very good strike rate.

It's critics and other people who choose who's going to be famous

and they get it right pretty much all the time, I have to say.

Sam Smith would have scored you 37 points.

He won that poll in 2014.

Ellie Goulding, who won it in 2010,

she would have scored you 36 points.

Mika won it in 2007.

And Years & Years won it in 2015,

and have gone on to great things since then.

And there is 50 Cent,

and he won it in 2003,

and would've scored you 15.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So here comes your second question.

Shani and Carl, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question today is all about...

Varieties Of Apple.

Varieties Of Apple, Richard.

We are now going to show you names of five varieties of apple,

but with alternate letters missing.

Can you fill in those gaps, please?

Mmm-mmm! OK, so, let's reveal our apples with bits bitten out,

and here they are. We have...

Shani and Carl, it's over to you.

THEY WHISPER

Yeah, that's it.

We'll go for the bottom one, Braeburn.

-Braeburn...

-Yep.

-..say Shani and Carl.

Braeburn. Now, Kelly and Gareth.

Do you want to go through those apples?

-Not really.

-SHE LAUGHS

Um...

I only know the other one.

They, obviously, I think, have got the better,

but we're going to have to say Granny Smith.

OK, so, Braeburn and Granny Smith we have.

Braeburn, Granny Smith. Shani and Carl said Braeburn.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Braeburn.

Braeburn is right.

Not bad. 39 for Braeburn.

Kelly and Gareth have gone for Granny Smith.

Let's see if that's right as well.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Granny Smith.

It's right.

It's going to be quite close, I think. 52 for Granny Smith.

Well done, Shani and Carl, that's just what you wanted there.

You're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, the Braeburn name comes from New Zealand, an orchard.

And Granny Smith is from an Australian gardener.

So both from the other side of the world, those names.

The top one... Do you know that?

It's named after a famous house.

-Blenheim Orange.

-Ah. ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

That would've scored you 12 points. The next one?

-Bramley.

-Bramley, yeah.

Doesn't look like Bramley, funnily enough, does it?

And it only scored 13 points.

And this last one is the best answer on the board.

-Another Australian one.

-Something pink.

-It is.

-Cripps pink.

-Cripps pink.

-Cripps pink.

3 points. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

OK. So it all comes down to the third question.

Whoever wins this one will go through to final

and play for that jackpot. So best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

Portugal. Portugal.

-Richard.

-Yeah, music, apples, Portugal.

That's how we do it. Five clues now to facts about Portugal.

Whoever gives us the most obscure answer

is going through to play for that jackpot. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Let reveal our clues.

Here they come.

We have got...

There we are. I'll read those all again.

We come to you, Kelly and Gareth, to kick us off here.

THEY WHISPER

OK, we're going to go for the Special One, manager of Chelsea,

and we're going to go Jose Mourinho.

Jose Mourinho, say Kelly and Gareth.

Now, Shani and Carl, that board's all yours.

Do you fancy taking us through it?

We know... We think the top one's Lisbon.

-Bottom one, "thank you".

-Yeah.

I'd guess at, like, a Portuguese pound

or anything like that for the currency.

-Shall we go for...?

-Lisbon.

-We'll go for Lisbon.

-Lisbon.

-OK, capital city, Lisbon.

So we have Jose Mourinho and we have Lisbon.

Kelly and Gareth went for Jose Mourinho as the Special One.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

45.

45.

Now, it was a toss up, I think, wasn't it,

between Jose Mourinho and Lisbon,

which one you thought you should go for?

Let's find out which one you should have gone for,

because Shani and Carl have said Lisbon, the capital of Portugal.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lisbon.

Well, it's right.

Oh-ho-ho, there's your answer.

73 for Lisbon, which means...

very well done, Kelly and Gareth, after three questions,

you're through to the final, 2-1.

Let's fill in those bottom three, shall we?

Portugal's main unit of currency.

I like the idea it was the Portuguese pound.

-LAUGHTER

-That was good.

It's the escudo.

Escudo. That would have scored you 28 points.

The peninsula is the Iberian peninsular.

-Would've scored 41. And "obrigado"...

-"Thank you".

..means "thank you", yeah. Actually, men say, "Obrigado" -

women tend to say "Obrigada."

Would've scored you 58 either way.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, Shani and Carl, it is you.

But three correct answers in this round.

I think, had things been the other way around,

I think you also had Years & Years as well, I think, didn't you?

-No.

-Oh, you didn't. Oh, well, there we are.

Well, anyway, listen, we'll see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much indeed,

-but, meantime, thanks so much, Shani and Carl.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for Kelly and Gareth, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Kelly and Gareth,

you have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

There we are.

So, just one appearance on Pointless.

Just one appearance. Right through the rounds.

Right through the head-to-head and, yeah, we never got to talk to you.

We just talked about your veg, we didn't talk about your fruit.

-We've got...

-We haven't started fruit, really, have we?

Fruit's more, we were talking about tomatoes...

Oh, well, that's good. Nice. Yes. Very good.

We'll come onto fruits next year.

-Strawberries, raspberries...

-Well, exactly.

I'm so sorry, I just got a message from Huw Edwards,

says he wants to start the news. If we could just...

Yeah, OK, thanks. Yes.

Point taken.

But, yeah, tomatoes, lovely. Always nice.

Under glass or would you have that under some kind of tunnel?

Well, they're currently in a tray and then...

-they'd go out.

-Very nice.

OK. Well, now, listen.

Back to Pointless... Peaches under glass as well.

LAUGHTER A white peach...

-Mmm! Mmm!

-Ooh, doughnut peach.

-That is...

Oh, bad news, Sophie Raworth is currently...

She's smashing the doors to the studio down.

OK, I'm just going to pop that peach there for later.

OK, right, now, as always,

you have to choose the category for this round

from the board that we put there. There'll be four things up there.

Probably all four of them will scare you slightly, but you know that

behind each one, there'll be something, I hope,

that will make it a bit nicer.

Let's hope you like the look of one of these, though.

Today's selection...

I think we've pretty much decided already on that one,

because the other...

It's the jazz albums, yeah. It's the...

No, I was thinking Nora Ephron.

No, it's going to be the Champions League football, please.

OK, the Champions League football, Richard.

OK, good luck. Big chance of winning the jackpot here.

This is what we're looking for.

We're looking for any of the 18 players

in the Champions League-winning Liverpool squad of 2005.

Any of the 18 players who were in that final squad

for the final match.

We're looking for any of the 18 players

in Man United's match day squad

when they won the 2008 Champions League.

Or we're looking for any of the 18 players in Chelsea's match day squad

when they won the 2012 Champions League.

So any of the players in the match day squads

when those three teams won the Champions League.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need is just for one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes, we are. Yeah.

OK, let's put your 60 seconds up on the board -

there they are. Your time starts now.

Right, Liverpool... I know a couple of ones there.

-We've got Milan Baros, I was thinking of.

-Yeah?

-Chelsea, I'm thinking of a guy called Paulo Ferreira.

-Yeah.

Manchester United... Oh, God, I'm thinking of...

-Start with the obvious.

-I'm thinking of...

Oh, what's his name?

There's a set of twins. One of the twins.

-Neville?

-No, not Neville.

OK.

Just trying to think of the Manchester United one.

I'm going to say Fabio.

Fabio? So, we're taking an answer from each question?

Yeah, an answer from each question.

I think we've decided.

OK. You're happy to stop the clock?

-Yes.

-OK, let's stop that clock and you give me your three answers

and say which category you're answering for each one.

Well, we're going to take one from the winning Liverpool squad,

and then we're going to say Milan Baros.

Milan Baros.

-For the Manchester United squad, I'm going to say Fabio.

-Fabio.

And for the Chelsea squad, I'm going to say Paulo Ferreira.

Paulo Ferreira. OK, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

I'd probably go for Paulo Ferreira.

Paulo Ferreira goes last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

I think it's Milan Baros.

Milan Baros we put first.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We have got...

Three good answers on the board there.

Let's hope one of those will win that jackpot for you.

2,000 quid, not a bad prize to be taking home.

What would you do with that, Kelly?

Well, we'd like to put it towards a holiday.

We're actually planning to hopefully visit Machu Picchu this year.

-Lovely.

-So it would be a start to that fund.

Very nice indeed. Gareth, anything you want to add to that?

Yeah, a few seeds and compost for my veg.

-Very good.

-As you do.

-Very good. As you do.

OK, now, your first answer was Milan Baros.

In this case, we were looking for

the 2005 Liverpool Champions League-winning squad.

If nobody mentioned Milan Baros,

you will leave here immediately with £2,000.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Milan Baros.

It's right. Now, if this goes all the way down to zero, as I say,

you will leave here with £2,000.

Milan Baros now taking us through the 20s and the teens,

into single figures, down it goes, still going down...

You've done it! Look at that.

Baros is a pointless answer.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. Fantastic.

Brilliant. Well done, you.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Look at that, straight out of the traps,

your first answer, Milan Baros, a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,000.

Very well done indeed. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Superb. Richard.

Terrific, wasn't it? I told you it was a good question for you.

Any big football fan is going to get a pointless answer on this round.

There's lots and lots of big names.

But Milan Baros is a terrific answer.

Very well played. Let's go through the answers

for the different questions. Liverpool first.

Djimi Traore was a pointless answer.

Harry Kewell, the Australian.

Luis Garcia, Steve Finnan.

Kewell and Finnan both went off injured in that game

before Liverpool's mighty comeback. Other pointless answers...

Antonio Nunez, Djibril Cisse,

Igor Biscan was a pointless answer, Josemi,

and Scott Carson, also a pointless answer, the goalie then.

Now, the members of the Manchester United winning squad.

Our friend, Fabio, did not appear in that squad,

so it would have been an incorrect answer.

Anderson, however, would have been a pointless answer.

Michael Carrick, a pointless answer.

Owen Hargreaves as well, does a lot of media work now,

retired with injury. Wes Brown, a pointless answer.

Three other pointless answers.

Darren Fletcher, a pointless answer, Mikael Silvestre and Tomas Kuszczak.

Again, the reserve goalie, was a pointless answer.

Now, Paulo Ferreira...

Chelsea, also a pointless answer.

AUDIENCE MURMURS IN APPROVAL

-So very well played.

-APPLAUSE

Jose Mourinho helped get you here,

and Paulo Ferreira would have won you the money.

Some other scorers as well, though, for Chelsea.

Some other no scorers, really. David Luiz was a pointless answer,

Florent Malouda was a pointless answer.

Juan Mata, Michael Essien.

Some big names on these lists.

Daniel Sturridge, who was an unused substitute in that squad.

Jose Bosingwa, Romeu, Ferreira, Ross Turnbull, another reserve goalie.

Ryan Bertrand and Solomon Kalou.

All of those pointless answers, so lots of pointless answers out there.

But you picked two of them. Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-I look forward to hearing much more about this fruit and veg.

-Oh, I'm so sorry, we're out of time.

-Ahh.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed. Well, thanks again to our winning players,

Kelly and Gareth, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

Very well done. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE