Episode 39 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the more obscure your knowledge,

the better your chances of winning.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, my name's Ken.

This is my very Pointless friend Lucy, and together,

we're both managers at Britain's favourite department store chain.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name's Claire

and this is my sister, Louise.

I come from Cornwall and Louise comes from Wiltshire.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, my name's Poppy, I'm from Buckinghamshire.

This is my friend Rory and he's from Guernsey.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Liya. This is my fiance, Anthony, and we're from Sydney.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

The grumpy landlord of Highbrow Towers.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

Now, two returning pairs. Poppy and Rory got knocked out in Round Two,

and Ken and Lucy were knocked out in Round One.

No-one here has been as far as the head-to-head.

So a very open field.

So today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, remember this, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's it. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Italian body parts.

-What of that?

-More specifically, Italian words for body parts,

rather than actually Italian body parts.

On each board, we're going to show you seven terms the Italians use

for parts of the body.

We need you to come up with the English translations, please.

There'll be 14 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, let's reveal our first board

of seven body parts in Italian, and here they are.

I'll read those again.

There we are. Now, Ken, welcome back to Pointless.

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm a manager at a department store chain.

-Not just any department store chain.

-The best.

-The best... The most popular, you said.

-Yes.

Wow. That is great. And remind us what you do when not at store.

I like travelling. I do a lot of travelling and stuff like that. Do some gardening as well.

What sort of gardener are you? Do you do a kitchen garden?

Oh gosh, no, no, nothing... Just plants and stuff like that.

-A little bit of a rockery and so on.

-That's good. Some heaths?

-Yes, Scottish heaths.

-Scottish heaths.

Quite right. OK, now, Ken, it's like travelling, isn't it?

Without setting foot in Italy.

OK, this is a nightmare round.

I'm going to go absolutely crazy

and go for il ginocchio

and pray that I'm not mad

and it means nose.

-Il ginocchio.

-Il ginocchio.

I wonder why you are thinking of that?

-I'm praying.

-Well, let's see if Ken's prayers are answered.

Ginocchio. Is it nose?

Oh, Ken, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

I'm afraid it's not nose.

That scores you 100 points.

Sorry, Ken. Might not be the last 100 of the entire round,

but I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Claire. A warm welcome here from Cornwall.

-Thank you, yes.

-Whereabouts in Cornwall are you?

-Sort of between Falmouth and Redruth.

-Very nice indeed.

-What do you do down there, Claire?

-I work for a charity

for adults with learning disabilities.

Very good indeed. What do you like getting up to apart from that?

Obviously, living in Cornwall,

swimming in the sea, a bit of surfing,

a bit of bodyboarding.

Generally wearing flip-flops all the time.

What time of year does that generally start?

-All year.

-All year?

-Yeah.

-Do you have a wetsuit?

-Yeah, we have winter and summer

-wetsuits. Very good.

What would you like to go for, Claire?

I can't pronounce it, but I'm going to go for il...

Is it piede?

-I think that might be foot, or feet.

-Il piede.

You're going to say foot?

Let's see if il piede is a foot.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it if it is.

It is a foot.

64 of our 100 people knew that.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, shoe sizes that we have now date back to Anglo-Saxon times

and they were essentially measured in barleycorns.

If you go up a shoe size,

you've gone up the width of one barleycorn.

-There we are. Now, Rory.

-Yeah.

Rory, Rory. Welcome back.

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm a student at Nottingham.

You're at Nottingham in your second year?

-Second year.

-Studying history.

-That's right.

-There we are.

Aside from that, we discovered you play quite a few sports.

-Yeah.

-Remind us what you play.

-I play hockey.

-You're on the fifth team.

-Yeah.

-The illustrious fifth team.

-Yeah.

-But as you said, the social...

-The social team.

-The social team.

Are you in charge of the fifth team?

Starting next season, I am.

-Ah! Captain or social secretary?

-Captain.

I was voted in a few weeks ago.

That's good. Was that on your hockey skills

or entirely on your social skills?

Mainly on my social skills,

my hockey skills aren't up to scratch.

That's a great accolade. Good for you.

Now, Rory, what would you like to go for?

There's only one that I think I know,

so I'm going to have to go for il dente,

which I think is teeth.

Surely. Surely. Il dente. Let's see if that is teeth,

let's see how many of our 100 people said teeth.

It's right.

Oh, hee-hee!

89 for teeth.

APPLAUSE

Shouldn't be too surprised, I guess.

Il dente, you'd be surprised if it weren't teeth.

Yes, it's quite a tough round, this.

There's the obvious ones, which are big scorers,

and then some tough ones.

The average person spends 38-and-a-half days of their lifetime

brushing their teeth.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Now, then. Anthony, welcome to the show.

-Now, what about this, from Sydney?

-Yes.

-I didn't know we did...

I suggested we did this exchange programme some years ago

and finally it bears fruit.

What brings you here?

We moved over to London about a year ago

and we're just working in London and travelling around Europe.

What do you do over here?

I'm working as a software engineer.

I see. Are you stationed with work here?

-Yeah. I transferred with my company over from Sydney.

-I see.

Anthony, what would you like to go for?

This board is all yours - I don't know how good your Italian is,

but if you fancy talking us through it, it would be great.

Italian is not good.

I think I did a year of it in Year 5 at primary school.

That's a year more than I think everyone else

in this studio has done.

I'm going to go with la mano.

And it sounds like a manicure, so I'm going to go for hand.

Hand, says Anthony, for la mano.

La mano. Let's if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people got hand.

It is hand.

Look at that, it's the best score of the round. Hand. Look at that!

Big hands for you. 38.

That's a very good answer, isn't it?

In Middle English, your first finger was known as the toucher,

and in German, the longest finger is known as the doctor's finger.

LAUGHTER

Don't go to a German doctor is all I'd say.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Yeah.

-Shall we go through this board?

It's tough, this board, isn't it? Il muscolo.

I'm thinking the muscle.

-It is.

-Surely.

-Muscle, yeah. A scary one to go for, though.

-70 points for that. La gamba?

-La, la gamba?

-I want to say leg.

-Yeah.

-Ham, leg.

Like jambe... Like the French.

-15. Il ginocchio.

-Ginocchio.

It's not the nose. This is a tough one.

Genuflect - knee.

It is the knee, yeah.

And l'ombelico.

-It's got to be your tummy button.

-It is. Umbilical.

Navel. 22 points for that.

So knee is actually the best answer on that board.

-Well done if you got that.

-Thank you very much.

Halfway through the round, let's look at those scores. 38 - well done, Anthony.

The best score of that pass by a margin.

Anthony and Liya are looking

pretty strong contenders for Round Two at this point.

Then up to 64, Claire and Louise. 89, Rory and Poppy.

Ken and Lucy... It was Round One last time.

-Don't rub it in.

-I won't stand

for it being Round One this time, so, Lucy,

we need a nice low-scoring answer - how's your Italian, Lucy?

-Not great.

-OK.

-Good.

-Better than mine.

-You have a little bit of time to think of a good low-scoring answer.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, let's put another seven Italian body parts on the board,

and here they are.

I'll read those again.

There we are. Now, Liya, welcome to Pointless.

-Also from Sydney.

-Yes.

-So, did you get work here as well or...?

Yes, very luckily, we both managed to swing that.

Fantastic. Very good. And what are you doing over here?

-I work in the treasury division for a bank.

-Very good. Exciting.

A nice job to land,

just while you're here on placement, as it were.

What else...? What else have you been up to while you've been here?

-So, a lot of travelling.

-Yeah.

Trying to get a bit of sport in while we do that as well,

so some cycling, skiing trips.

Very good.

How long are you going to be here, do you think?

-A few years, at least.

-A few years? Good stuff.

Now, Liya, there you are.

38. I mean, very simple for you. If you can score 61 or less,

you're definitely into the next round.

Have you studied Italian at all?

No. I know a tiny bit of French,

so I'm hoping they're sort of in a similar vein.

I think I might play it safe

and say il naso, nose.

Nose, says Liya. Il naso, nose.

Here is your red line. Get below that,

you're definitely through to the next round.

How many people said nose?

It's right.

82 for nose.

I think you've probably done enough, though.

120 is your total. APPLAUSE

Yeah, here's something you can try.

Your nose, when you breathe through your nose,

it humidifies the air that you breathe, essentially.

So if you just breathe through your mouth, your mouth goes very dry.

Try that. If you just breathe through your mouth for a little bit,

not through your nose, and your mouth will go...

You don't have to do it. It's not mandatory.

But it's...it's quite a fun thing to do.

Don't you do it, because you're presenting the show.

-I'm going to do it, though.

-Hm, yeah.

There we are. Well, while we're leaving Richard doing that...

LAUGHTER ..we're going to do the show. Poppy.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Also reading history in your second year at Nottingham.

-Where are you from originally?

-I'm from Buckinghamshire,

so just south of Milton Keynes. Just outside of London.

-Did you know Nottingham at all before you went up there?

-Not really.

All I knew was Robin Hood, really. So...

It's pretty much all most people know about Nottingham.

-It's lovely, Nottingham.

-Yeah, really nice.

Very fond of Nottingham. And when you're not studying your history,

what other things do you like getting up to?

On a Saturday, I teach 5 to 7-year-olds drama

at a local theatre.

That's really good. How long have you done that for?

-Since September. So...

-Brilliant.

Do you work towards a production that you then put on, or is it...?

At the end of every term, we sort of do a theme.

So, at the moment, we're doing superheroes.

After a couple of weeks, the mummies and daddies come in

and we show everyone - so, no, it's really nice.

Good for you. That's excellent.

Now, there you are on 89. If you can score 30 or less...

Round Two awaits.

Yeah. There's one I think is pretty obvious,

I think everyone knows it,

but I think it's probably ridiculously high.

So, I think I'm going to take a risk.

I think it's one of two things.

I'm going to go with la lingua

and the tongue.

Lingua, tongue. Lingua, tongue. Here comes your red line.

Get below that with lingua being tongue

and you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh...

45.

I think that's probably good enough.

APPLAUSE

134 is your total.

A good fact about the tongue is that mine is currently very dry.

LAUGHTER

Breathe through your naso.

Ahh. That's better.

That's better. Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Louise, a warm welcome to you here.

-And you're from Wiltshire?

-Yes.

And what do you get up to in Wiltshire?

I'm a translator. I translate from Swedish to English.

-For books and things like that, or...?

-I don't do books, no.

I tend to do quite boring stuff, actually.

Financial reports and things like that.

So, how come you're Swedish is so good?

We lived out there for nine years...

-Right.

-..and learned the language while we were there.

My husband and I.

How fantastic. Where did you live?

We lived just north of Stockholm,

in a place called Taby kyrkby.

Excellent, now, Swedish... Is it a Romance language?

-Not so much, Swedish.

-No.

I mean, you do get a bit of French in there sometimes.

-It's not really going to help too much here.

-Not really.

But once a linguist, always a linguist, surely.

So you should have no problem with any of this.

What would you like to go for?

It's a little bit of a risk,

but I'm thinking l'occhio might be eyes.

Surely. L'occhio, eyes, says Louise.

Here's your red line. If you get below that,

you're through to the next round.

How many of our 100 people said eye?

-It's right and you're through. Very well done.

-Yes!

Oh, that risk paid off.

Look at that, 16. The best score

of the round by some margin.

-80 is your total, well done.

-Great answer, Louise.

The average blink takes one-tenth of a second,

but you can't blink ten times in a second.

No. Yeah.

The minute you start thinking about it, they slow down.

Yeah, yeah, they do, yeah.

Thank you, Richard. Now, Lucy,

there's a very good chance you might be staying with us,

which would be very nice indeed.

Now, remind us what you do, Lucy.

I'm a manager in a department store.

The same store as Ken?

No...well, we used to, but then I moved away and left him...

But with the same... You're still partners of the same company.

-Same company.

-Of the same...

-Same partnership.

-Same partnership.

I wonder which shop this could be(?)

-So where are you now?

-I'm in Manchester.

Right. I see. And Ken, where are you?

-I'm in York.

-In York? Oh, I see.

Well, not too far away, but, yeah.

Do you still get together? Conferences and things like that?

No, this is the first time that we've been together since I left.

-It's been brilliant.

-It's been great.

We stayed up till 2am chatting last night.

OK, now, listen, you have to score 33 or less.

33 or less. You're the last person to have this board,

so you can talk us through it if you like.

I really wish I could. I'd love to stand here and be like,

"I've got an Italian degree," and things like that, but I don't.

So I literally have no idea.

I really want to say...

You're all probably going to laugh.

The third one from the bottom...

-L'orecchio?

-Yeah.

I want to say it's ear, but that's a complete guess.

You're going to say ear for l'orecchio?

Yeah, but it's a guess. But there's no point in me going obvious.

It sounds...it sounds good to me.

Here is your red line. If you get below that with ear,

you're into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said ear for l'orecchio.

-Oh, my God.

-It's right.

-And you've done it.

-Yes!

-Look at that. Down it goes. 18.

Very well done indeed, Lucy.

118 is your total. Round Two awaits.

Brilliant. APPLAUSE

That's...that's an exciting end to the round, I have to say.

Yes, it's ear. There's a pasta, isn't there, that's ear-shaped?

-Yes.

-It's got a name like that.

-Yes.

-How are you on the rest of these?

I'll tell you what, there's...

There's one there that looks a bit racy.

-I mean... Tell me about it. Let's leave that for now.

-OK.

-Lo stomaco.

-Well, that's going to be your tummy, your stomach.

It is your stomach, yeah. And that would have scored 93.

-Any idea on la pelle?

-La pelle.

-La pelle.

-I can't see...

I'm not really sure there's a clue there in the word...

-It's not coming.

-Skin.

-Right.

-16 points for that.

Now, la testa...

It actually...now, I happened to...

-It means head.

-It does indeed.

10 points for that. La testa.

Looking at you, I can see that.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Thanks very much indeed. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 134,

I'm afraid it's Poppy and Rory.

Oh! You made it through to Round Two last time. I'm so sorry.

Only Round One this time. It's been great having you on, though.

-Thank you so much for playing. Poppy and Rory.

-Thanks.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And suddenly, we're down to three pairs.

Oh, and it gets... It gets smaller still.

I'm warning you now. It'll be only two pairs

when we get to the head-to-head round.

Louise, hats off to you.

L'occhio was the best answer of that - eye - in that round.

So, very good. And phewee, Ken and Lucy...

This is what Round Two looks like. Very well done. L'orecchio.

Very good. Now, our category for Round Two today is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Words in Shakespeare plays - Richard.

Yes, in a moment, Xander's going to show you four words,

and we're looking for the title of any Shakespeare play

that contains one of those words anywhere in its text.

So either spoken by someone or in a stage direction.

Anything like that. So any Shakespeare play

that contains one of the following four words,

and that's according to opensourceshakespeare.org.

Thank you very much indeed. As Richard just mentioned,

we'll put these words up on the board.

They will remain on the board for the entire round.

So, we won't be changing them halfway through.

They stay up for the round.

We just have to have any Shakespeare play from you that contains,

somewhere in its text, one of these words.

OK, here are the words.

Ken?

-The Tempest.

-The Tempest, says Ken.

The Tempest. Let's see if The Tempest

contains one of these words.

How many of our 100 people said it?

It's right.

Look at that, Ken. Down it goes. That's a wonderful score.

Very well done. 8 for Ken.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, that's got emperor, fairy and witch in it.

-The Tempest.

-Wow.

-That's going at some, isn't it?

-Nearly the full set.

-Yeah.

-Impressive.

-Claire?

-Not my favourite round.

I am going to go with an obvious one, but...Hamlet.

Hamlet. Hamlet, says Claire.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Hamlet.

32.

APPLAUSE

32.

Now, if you were playing Shakespeare bingo,

you just would have won a line, cos that's got all four of them in.

-Oh! Look at that.

-Emperor, fairy, ghost...

He reuses plots, doesn't he?

Yeah, he does. Oh, just, yeah. I was reading...

Gyles Brandreth said he once thought about being an actor,

and then went on... He played the Dane,

but he got pelted with eggs.

He said he went on as Hamlet, came off as Omelette.

LAUGHTER

-Liya?

-Hi.

Liya, what would you like to go for?

I think I'm going to take a bit of a gamble and say

-The Taming Of The Shrew.

-The Taming of the Shrew, says Liya.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, no, Liya.

Oh, that is so unfair. I'm afraid

none of these words appears in Taming Of The Shrew.

That scores you 100 points.

Liya, I'm so sorry. It's a perfectly good guess.

Who's in charge of the shrews?

What have they got? Like a king rather than an emperor?

The shrew army?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Shrew army.

-Yeah.

Shrew army!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Shrew army! Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 8, the best score of the pass, Ken.

What about that? Very well done indeed.

Ken and Lucy ruling the roost at this point.

Then up to 32, where we find Claire and Louise.

Then up to 100, where we find Liya and Anthony.

So, Anthony...

I liked Liya's approach. I applaud that.

We need you to do something similar, but more correct.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. So, remember, Anthony, we're looking for any Shakespeare plays

that contains one of these words,

one or more of these words, anywhere in its text.

Well, Liya was supposed to be the strong one at literature,

so I'm just going to take a complete gamble

and go with my final year text,

which was King Lear.

I was going to say, the clue's right there, isn't it?

King Lear.

OK, no red line for you, as you're the highest scorers,

but surely King Lear's got to get you some way down this column.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said King Lear.

It's right.

Come on.

Oh, it's good. It's very good.

5. Lowest score so far, Anthony.

Very well done indeed. 105. APPLAUSE

You could very easily have kept yourselves in the game there.

It's a great answer. A fairy, a ghost and a witch...

-Fabulous.

-..walked into a bar...

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. Louise...

You have a target now, which is 72.

OK.

The first thing that came to mind, I think I'm going to go with it,

was Macbeth.

Macbeth. OK.

Macbeth. Here is your red line.

You have to get below that to stay in the game.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Macbeth.

It's right.

Oh, and you get below the red line.

I'd say that was lucky. 59.

APPLAUSE

59, your score, taking your total up to 91.

Yeah, ghosts, witches and fairies.

Also the only Shakespearean play to have the word rhinoceros in it.

It's the only one. We won't be doing that as a round any time soon.

-Let's not.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, then, we have a game on our hands here, Lucy.

I'm unsure.

So, all the ones that I wanted to say have gone.

Macbeth was, like, my English text that I studied.

Now I'm like... I'm going to go for A Midsummer Night's Dream.

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

OK, 96 is your target.

96, you'd have thought, would be doable.

There's your red line.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, how many people said it?

There we are. Very well done.

43. 43. APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 51.

Well played, Lucy. Kept your cool. Lots of uses of the word fairy,

and also a ghost in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Now, there's quite a few pointless answers. Let's take a look at them.

Cymbeline is a pointless answer. That uses all four of those words.

Emperor, ghost and witch in Henry VI, Part I,

and a ghost and a witch in Part II.

All of those pointless answers.

We'll take a look at the top three answers.

I think we may have had them already.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm sorry to say, Anthony and Liya,

we have to say goodbye to you.

I mean, hats off. I like the fact you went for Taming Of The Shrew.

Why did that not have any of those words in?

It makes no sense at all.

But it was a gutsy call, and we will see you again next time.

I'm sure, with that kind of approach to the game,

you will go much further then.

But meantime, thanks very much, Anthony and Liya.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Ken and Lucy, Louise and Claire,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, here we are, in the head-to-head,

which means you're allowed to confer before giving answers,

which is a great relief, I think we'll all agree.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

And indeed, I think this is going to be hard fought, this one.

I think we can say, safely.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

US Presidents, Richard.

I'm going to show you five pictures now of US presidents.

You just have to name the most obscure.

Thank you very much. Here come our five US presidents, and we've got...

There we are. Five US presidents.

Ken and Lucy, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.

Just go for it.

OK, I'm not 100% sure and Lucy may punch me,

but I'm going to go with B, Gerald Ford.

-Gerald Ford.

-Gerald Ford.

-OK. Gerald Ford, say Ken and Lucy.

Now, Louise and Claire...

-A's Jimmy Carter, isn't it?

-Yes. And E is Richard Nixon.

-Is C William Taft?

-No, because he was really fat.

Oh, was he? All right.

I think we're going to have a go... Jimmy Carter.

-Nixon?

-Yeah, go Nixon.

We'll go E, Richard Nixon.

E, Richard Nixon. So, we have Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon.

Ken and Lucy have gone for Gerald Ford.

Let's see how many people said that for B.

Is it right?

It is right.

Oh, that's a relief.

29.

29 for Gerald Ford.

Meanwhile, Louise and Claire have gone for Richard Nixon for E.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Richard Nixon.

-It's right.

-Oh.

76 for Richard Nixon.

Very well done, Ken and Lucy - after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, of course Ford took over from Nixon.

A is Jimmy Carter, you're quite right about that.

Jimmy Carter would have scored you 63 points.

Uh, C is Thomas Jefferson,

and is a pointless answer as well,

so very well done if you said that.

And D is

Woodrow Wilson.

That is Woodrow Wilson, would have scored you three points.

Very well done if you said that.

Very well done to our three people as well who said that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Louise and Claire, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

but you get to answer it first, so best of luck.

Our second question is all about...

All about cheese, Richard.

It's all about cheese. We are going to show you five clues now

to facts about cheese - can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five facts and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those again.

So, Louise and Claire, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go, because I think I'm probably going to look stupid

if I don't get this right, the name of the plant

used to wrap Cornish yarg is nettle.

Nettle. Nettle.

Now then, Ken and Lucy, the board's all yours.

We know the easy ones, so Little Miss Muffet was a spider,

Charles de Gaulle's country was France.

Animal whose milk is used to produce pule...?

I want to say it is a ewe...

I'm going to go out on a punt and say...

You haven't discussed this with me!

Sorry!

-Shall we say...?

-Partnership, Ken.

I really don't think it's that.

OK. We're going to say...

-A ewe.

-A ewe?

-Yeah.

-Ewe's milk.

Ewe's milk to make pule.

So, we have nettle and we have a ewe.

Now, Louise and Claire went for nettle,

that Cornish yarg is wrapped in.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said nettle.

It is right.

16. Very well done indeed.

Nettle.

And Ken and Lucy went for ewe's milk to make pule.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said ewe's milk.

Go on.

No! It's not the ewe, I'm afraid, but very well done,

Louise and Claire. Back in the game after two questions.

-It's 1-1.

-Yeah, not the ewe.

We'll get on to what it is last, I think.

Now, the county...

If I tell you the cheese is Double Gloucester...

-Gloucestershire.

-Yeah.

Would have scored 15.

The creature is the spider.

It's a very big scorer, as you'd expect, 88.

The country that Charles de Gaulle suggested

was hard to govern was France, 51 for that.

And the animal... Now, it's a pointless answer,

which will tell you it's an unusual animal.

It's not going to be an ass, is it?

-Not ass' milk, no?

-It is a donkey.

-No!

-Yeah. Donkey.

-Is it really?

It's a pointless answer. Yeah, it is indeed.

Very well done if you said that.

I think Novak Djokovic, the tennis player,

very famously, has invested a huge amount of money in donkey cheese.

And famously, Cleopatra liked to, loved to take a bath in ass' milk.

So, we come back to Shakespeare.

-Don't we just?

-Yeah. There we are.

-As so often.

As so often. Thank you very much indeed.

Now then, it all comes down to our third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Our third question is all about...

-Perfume ingredients.

-Going to show you five ingredients

now commonly used in perfumes.

We've missed out alternate letters from each.

Can you fill in those gaps, please?

OK, let's reveal our perfume ingredients and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Ken and Lucy will go first.

We know...three of them.

Yeah, we're going to go with the last one

and say it's sandalwood.

OK, sandalwood, say Ken and Lucy.

Sandalwood. Now then, Louise and Claire,

do you want to talk through the rest of the board?

Um...

I think I can see lavender there,

but that's going to be quite a high scorer.

I'm not sure about the ones below.

But I think the top might be hibiscus.

-Yeah, go with that.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Hibiscus.

-You're going to say hibiscus.

So, we have sandalwood and we have hibiscus.

Now, Ken and Lucy went for sandalwood.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said sandalwood.

It's right.

Not bad. 30 for sandalwood.

Now, Louise and Claire, meanwhile,

have gone for hibiscus for the top one.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said hibiscus.

-Oh!

-It's right.

Oh. 54 for hibiscus.

Very well done, Ken and Lucy, after three questions,

you're through to the final, 2-1.

There's a couple of answers there that would have beaten sandalwood.

The third and fourth one.

Lavender would have scored you too many points...

62.

-We'll go to the second bottom first, which is...

-Civet.

-Civet.

which is taken from the animal, the civet.

Scored 21. Do you know this last one?

It's also used to flavour Earl Grey tea.

-Oh! Bergamot. Bergamot.

-Exactly.

5 points for that. Well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid,

Louise and Claire.

But do you know? It's not bad news, really,

because it means you'll get to come back for another show.

If you'd gone through to the final, that would have been it, all over.

We'll look forward to seeing you again next time when, I'm sure,

you will do just as well, if not better, let's hope.

Until then, thanks very much, Louise and Claire.

APPLAUSE

But for Ken and Lucy, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Ken and Lucy,

you have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yes!

-You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and,

at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, very, very well done.

-Thank you.

-What a turnaround.

-Indeed.

-Yeah.

-Your first performance...

-You predicted it!

-I had a hunch, though. I had a hunch that,

you know, Pointless did owe you one, as I said.

-Thank you very much.

-Anything you particularly want to see, on this,

in this last round?

Film, celebrities, Oscars, pop music...

That's all me. I don't know about her.

-All the junky stuff.

-Yeah, yeah, junky stuff.

Anything else you want to contribute?

No, I don't like the pressure.

I'm good to go with those categories and contribute.

You know those aren't the ones that will come up.

If it's F1, we're walking off.

You know what they're like, they're quite scary, these,

but behind them, there are things that are less scary.

You get to choose the category from the four we put up.

Today's selection looks like this. We have got...

-I think we should go with 1990s British...

-Yeah, me too.

1990s British TV sitcoms.

-Well, that was nice and quick. Very good.

-Yeah, very best of luck.

We are looking for any actor

who appeared in two or more episodes of the following, please.

So, if according to IMDb, anyone appeared in...

That's what we're looking for. So, Keeping Up Appearances,

Goodnight, Sweetheart, Dinnerladies, two or more appearances.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, this is a total nightmare for me.

-Dinnerladies...

-Victoria Wood.

Victoria Wood. Julie Walters.

That's obvious.

Um, that really nice Asian actress.

She's been in Coronation Street, left Coronation Street.

Keeping Up Appearances, that was the one with Hyacinth Bucket,

but I can't think of the actress.

There was a guy called Geoffrey in it. That doesn't help.

Perhaps we should focus...

-What about Goodnight Sweetheart?

-Nicholas Lyndhurst, he was the star.

-Didn't watch it.

-OK, well,

I was born in 1992, so this isn't great, so...

-Episodes of Dinnerladies.

-Yes, Dinnerladies.

Well, Victoria Wood is the famous one.

-Can't say that.

-Julie Walters is really famous as well.

Oh, oh, oh.

Anyone else serve the dinners?

Em... Oh, oh, that actress who's a big, massive star now.

-Um, she does that thing with the...

-Ten seconds left.

She's a judge.

It's called Silks. I think her name is something...

Oh, it starts with a M. Oh, she's a really good actress.

-Michelle?

-No, no. She used to be in Shameless as well.

OK, I'm afraid that is your time up.

-I'm so sorry.

-No worries.

-Just as you were on a rich vein there.

I'm afraid I now need your three answers,

and if you say which category you are answering, that would be great.

OK, we are going to go for Dinnerladies.

-For all three?

-All three of them, yes.

-Julie Walters.

-Julie Walters.

Obviously will not be pointless.

Um...

Victoria Wood, we love you, so we have to go with Victoria Wood.

-Victoria Wood.

-And the other actress, I don't know her name,

so I'm going to say her name is...

Margarita Pike. What a fantastic name.

It's not her name, but we're going to go with Margarita Pike.

Margarita Pike.

Oh, she was good, wasn't she?

Margarita Pike.

So, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Oh, I think Margarita Pike.

LAUGHTER

Wouldn't it be lovely if she just suddenly happened to exist,

just for the sake of this show?

Margarita Pike, we'll put her last, then.

-OK, least likely to be pointless?

-Victoria Wood.

-Victoria Wood.

And I agree with you. We love Victoria Wood,

and I know she would never be pointless

because she's far too well-known and respected for that,

but lovely to be able to say her name, isn't it? Victoria Wood.

We'll pop those answers on the board in that order

and here they are. We've got...

And the wonderful, the peerless, the nonpareil, Margarita Pike.

Now, if one of these answers were to win you that jackpot,

what would you do with it? Ken, you first.

I would buy box sets of '90s TV British sitcoms.

You could do a lot worse, I think, couldn't you, with that money?

Lucy, what would you like to do?

Probably the same, quiz up.

-General knowledge book.

-Very good.

-Well, you can pool them and share.

-Yeah.

-Very good.

OK, well, very, very best of luck. Three answers on the board.

It would be amazing and wonderful

if one of these turned out to be pointless,

but let's just find out.

We are looking, in all three cases,

for actors who appeared in Dinnerladies.

Two or more episodes of Dinnerladies.

Your least confident shot at a pointless answer

was Victoria Wood.

Let's find out, for £1,000, how many people said it.

Is it pointless?

It's right. Certainly that.

Victoria Wood takes us down through the 60s, into the 50s...

-Ooh!

-Into 51.

-51.

-God bless Victoria Wood.

Hear, hear. Unfortunately not a pointless answer,

which means you have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Julie Walters.

Again, if this is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

If it's pointless, I think we'll all be quite surprised,

but there we are.

Let's find out, for £1,000, how many people said Julie Walters.

It's right.

Victoria Wood scored 51.

Interesting to see where Julie Walters ends up.

Passes 51, down it goes, look at that.

Down through the 30s and the 20s.

24. Isn't that strange?

Only 24 for Julie Walters.

Well, it's moving in the right direction.

All that is required now is for Margaret Pike

to swim up and take that jackpot for you.

-Margarita Pike, I beg your pardon.

-Yes. Get her name right.

-She's very particular.

-Somewhere, right now,

there is a Margarita Pike watching this, just thinking...

Margarita Pike, is it right?

Let's go that far to start with.

Is it right? And if it is, if it's pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

Let's see what happens.

-What?!

-I'm sorry.

-Shocked.

-I'm sorry, she wasn't in it.

-She wasn't in it. Turned it down.

-Thank you.

Well, listen, it didn't land as well as it sometimes can, that round,

for you, I'm afraid, but it was a game attempt.

But you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That rolls over onto the next show, but it's been great having you.

-It's been fantastic.

-Two excellent performances.

Slightly different performances, but excellent nonetheless.

And you get a Pointless trophy each

-to take home, so very well done.

-Yes!

-Yes!

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations. You know what?

You weren't a million miles away with Margarita Pike.

The actor you're thinking of,

who's in Silk and all sorts of things, is Maxine Peake!

-Oh! See! And you laughed!

-Would have scored you two points,

Maxine Peake, so wouldn't have been a pointless answer. Shobna Gulati was the actor

from Coronation Street you were thinking of. She would have scored you three points.

Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers.

We'll start with Keeping Up Appearances.

David Griffin, who played Emmet, was a pointless answer.

Judy Cornwell, who was Daisy, she's a pointless answer.

Marion Barron.

Mary Miller, who played Rose...

In fact, everyone in that list was pointless

apart from Patricia Routledge, Clive Swift, Geoffrey Hughes,

who is the Geoffrey you were thinking of,

Josephine Tewson and Shirley Stelfox.

Everybody else was a pointless answer.

Goodnight Sweetheart...

Christopher Ettridge, who was PC Reg in that.

David Ryall, the wonderful David Ryall, Eve Bland.

Timothy West was a pointless answer there as well.

In fact, everyone pointless on that apart from Nicholas Lyndhurst,

Dervla Kirwan, Elizabeth Carling, Michelle Holmes,

Emma Amos and Victor McGuire.

Everyone else was pointless. And Dinnerladies now.

There's some well-known names on this.

Andrew Dunn, who played Tony. Duncan Preston, a pointless answer,

he did all sorts of Victoria Wood's productions.

Kate Robbins, the impressionist, was a pointless answer.

Sue Cleaver, perhaps better known

as Eileen Grimshaw on Corrie,

also a pointless answer,

so very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

Sadly, Ken and Lucy didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us then to see someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING