Episode 43 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the game where you are always aiming for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, my name is Manoj. I'm from Birmingham,

and this is my best mate, Rakesh, and he's from Leicester.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Joe. This is my housemate, James,

and we're both students from the University of Bristol.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Alice.

This is Julie, my mum, and we're from Tunbridge Wells.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Martin. This is my wife, Mel.

We're from Honeybourne in Worcestershire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much to all of you, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show

as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Here to make himself heard,

although the loud-hailer is probably overkill,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard!

-APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

Did you hear where Mel and Martin were from?

-Honeybourne.

-Honeybourne in Worcestershire.

That might be the nicest name we've ever had on the show, do you think?

-Yes!

-Is that the nicest named place in Britain?

-I think so.

It's rather lovely, isn't it?

-Honeybourne.

-Aah.

-Oh, I can see it now.

-I bet it's dappled, don't you think?

-Oh, it's dappled, course it is.

-Honeysuckle grows in abundance there.

-Everywhere.

-Yeah.

And there's people on the streets, riding little bikes

with bread in the baskets in the front going, "Morning!"

-"Morning, everybody."

-There are children with hoops and sticks.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-Aah.

-Oh.

-It must be wonderful in Honeybourne.

-Honeybourne, yeah.

-Aah.

-Yeah.

-There it is.

Now, two returning pairs from the show,

both of whom did rather well last time.

Joe and James, who got through to our head-to-head

so are going to be tough to beat,

and Rakesh and Manoj from our first podium there,

who got through to Round Two.

So it's going to be a tough show, I think.

Fun questions, we've got people here from Honeybourne...

-you know, what more do you want?

-Come on.

-That's tea time, isn't it?

-Let's do it.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Becky and John didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off...

£2,000.

There we are. APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now the pair with the highest score at the end of each round,

remember, will be eliminated.

So, just keep those scores low, whatever you do.

No conferring until we get to the head-to-head.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Significant Others.

Significant Others.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second,

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

..Time Magazine's most influential marriages of all time.

Most influential marriages of all time. Richard?

Yeah, Time Magazine published a list

of the 25 most significant or influential marriages of all time.

On each board, we're going to give you seven clues

to one of the spouses mentioned in that list.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at home.

Very best of luck.

OK, so we're looking for the spouses in these influential marriages

described by these clues.

And here is our first board of seven.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

-There we go. Rakesh, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Now, remind us what you do, Rakesh.

I'm self-employed, I run my own online toy shop.

-An online toy shop?

-That's right.

Aah. You see the nice thing about an online toy shop,

you don't have any limits

-about how many schoolchildren can come in at once.

-Exactly.

-But it's more collectable toys I sell.

-It is, that's right.

-I remember you saying last time.

-Yeah.

-So, these are science fiction...?

-Science fiction related merchandise,

related to TV programmes, and films,

action figures, prop replicas, that type of thing.

These are the sort of toys that people obsess about?

-Yeah.

-Is that a nice sort of customer to have, I wonder?

-The perfect customer to have.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

And your hobbies, do they include the science fiction...?

-Well, I'm a bit of a collector myself.

-I see...

Just the odd few bits of sci-fi memorabilia,

but I do have a life outside work.

I do like my football.

-Excellent!

-I like my tennis.

I'm a keen follower of Liverpool Football Club.

I've seen them play quite a few times at Anfield,

and also at away grounds.

I've been to Wimbledon quite a few times for the tennis,

also the ATP tournaments in London.

-So, you know, I'm a keen follower of both sports, yeah.

-Very good.

Now, Rakesh, famous spouses.

OK, it's not too bad a board.

I think I know three of those.

But I think a couple of them might be high.

I'm going to go for the wife of Jay Z, headlined On The Run Tour.

-I'm going to say, Beyonce.

-Beyonce, says Rakesh.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Rakesh. Beyonce.

It's right.

-43. Not bad!

-Good for that.

-APPLAUSE

Gets us off to a good start, anyway, Rakesh. Well done.

Yeah, before they were married, she was called Fi-once.

LAUGHTER

Worth over 1 billion between the two of them.

Probably fairly evenly split.

I would think fairly evenly split, yeah, which is probably quite nice.

We're worth about 1 billion between the two of us, aren't we, Richard?

We certainly are, between the two of us, in that I'm worth about £12,000.

LAUGHTER

Aah.

I'm worth a fraction of what you're worth!

Anyway, thank you very much indeed.

Now, James, welcome back.

Remind us what you do in Bristol?

I'm a geology student in my final year.

What's the most exciting rock you've come across in your time at Bristol?

The most elusive rock is the glaucophane schist.

-Glaucophane schist?

-Yeah.

I'm saying that right? None of that makes any sense to me whatsoever.

Sometimes there's a syllable of something that makes sense.

-Yeah.

-"Glauco" sounds medical.

-Mmm.

-"Phane."

-Yeah.

-"Schist."

-I don't know if there's any meaning behind it,

but, yeah, it's basically like a metamorphic rock.

He's talking in riddles, I've no idea what he's saying.

But anyway, that's wonderful.

It's what all of the houses in Honeybourne are made out of.

-Glaucophane schist.

-An elusive rock!

-Yeah.

-Aah, Honeybourne.

Sorry, we'll come to Honeybourne in a moment.

James, your interests outside rocks?

We've got a pool table in the house, it's a house of five of us, so...

-We've heard a lot about the pool table.

-Yeah, I like to play pool.

OK, who is currently the best pool player in the house?

Well, that is a big subject of debate,

cos we frequently have tournaments,

but I would have to say that I'm the best at the moment.

But I think my housemates might have another opinion on the matter.

Quick question, did you rent the pool table?

-Oh, no, no.

-Was it in the house?

Yeah, it was just in the house. Yeah, it came with the house.

-How is the felt?

-It just got resurfaced, for us.

Oh good, I'm glad to hear that!

Good, anyway, James, enough of this.

-Spouses, famous spouses.

-Er...

Yes, I know I should probably know quite a few of them,

but I don't really know that many.

So I'm going for the husband of Hillary Clinton,

42nd US president, Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton, says James.

Still going for the low-hanging fruit, I would say, on that board.

-Yeah.

-But let's see how many of our 100 people said Bill Clinton.

It's right. ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Look at that! 89 for Bill Clinton.

-That's a punishingly high score there.

-Yeah.

But you know what? At least you're good at pool.

They got married in their living room.

-That's rather nice, isn't it?

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Alice, welcome to the show, good to have you here.

-Hi.

-What do you do, Alice?

-Well, I work freelance.

I'm an actress and voice-over artist,

and a rock climbing instructor, which is, yeah, a bit different.

Yes, rock climbing is different.

Actor and voice-over artist, I just hear "competition" there.

That's all I'm hearing. I'm thinking, "Oh, oh!"

Where will we hear you voicing?

I mainly do corporate voice-over, so in-house training videos,

e-learning courses, that sort of thing.

So you turn up and you're given a great sheaf paper...?

-Hundreds of pages.

-..and you sit down, six hours later you come out?

-That's pretty much my day, yeah.

-Oh.

-I enjoy it, yeah.

-Yeah.

And where do you do that, in the main?

I work with a couple of different studios in London, and Portsmouth,

-various different places, yeah.

-Very good.

And then obviously, rock climbing,

the obvious sister vocation to voicing over.

-Yeah, they gel well!

-Yes, so you teach rock climbing?

-I do, yes.

-And what kind of rock climbing?

Is there other kinds of rock climbing?

There are various types of rock climbing. I'm mainly a boulderer...

A boulderer, yes.

So that's low-level climbing without rope.

So you do shorter problems, but you're not attached to anything.

-Less far to fall?

-Yes, but you will fall to the ground

rather than sitting in a comfy harness, so more risk, sometimes.

-Yeah, terra firma, though.

-Yeah.

-I mean, there's something reassuring about that!

-Yeah.

-Once you've landed, you've landed.

-Yeah, there you are.

-Exactly.

-Now, Alice.

-Yes.

-Spouses of repute.

Yes. Um...

Knew the two that had already been said.

Know the top one, definitely,

but think it will score quite highly, so...

I'm going to have a stab at husband of Marie Curie,

and hope that's Pierre Curie.

Pierre Curie is earning you a nod from Rakesh,

but to be honest, he was nodding before you'd even said Pierre!

Anyway, Pierre, OK, let's see. Pierre Curie, is that right?

Let's hear how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right. Very well done indeed, Alice.

There you are, you see! 13.

APPLAUSE

Do you know what?

I was saying it was only the low-hanging fruit

people have gone for, and it took a boulderer

to be bold enough to get that nice low score there.

-Very well done. 13.

-Absolutely, yeah.

Married in 1895, no news on where.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Mel, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

Good to have you here.

Mel, what do you do?

I'm an HR manager, I work for a marketing agency in Cheltenham.

In Cheltenham, and how long have you done that for?

-Er, two and a half years.

-OK.

It's a burgeoning centre, Cheltenham.

-All sorts of exciting things going on there.

-Yeah.

What sort of marketing are you doing?

Mainly non-for-profit clients, some financial ones as well.

So, lots of charities and things like that.

Excellent, Mel, and your interests outside of that?

Lots of things, really. Playing netball.

Well, I did play netball - we're currently expecting our first child,

so I had to give that up a few months ago.

Generally into sort of sport.

Upcycling furniture.

-Excellent. All this will go when you have a baby!

-Yep!

-Yeah. Well, congratulations, that's very exciting for you.

-Thank you.

It's going to be heaven. Now, Mel, this board is all yours.

Talk us through it, and fill in all those blanks,

-cos they're very easy.

-I'm not too sure if I can, actually!

I obviously know the top one.

The other ones... I could probably take a stab at,

but I think just to get some points on the board, I'll for the top one,

-which is Romeo.

-Romeo, says Mel.

Very interesting...

It's Romeo versus Bill Clinton -

I will be interested to see who comes out the better in this one.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Romeo...

It's right, look at that!

Beating Bill Clinton into a cocked hat - 79.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, as you say, scores fewer points than Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton, I guess, is going to be happy with that.

Yeah.

One of the most romantic stories of the ages, Bill and Hillary.

Star-spangled lovers!

Yeah, they certainly are.

Now, let's fill in these gaps.

The wife of Scott Fitzgerald is Zelda Fitzgerald,

and as the best answer on the board, six points.

Husband of Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz.

That would have scored you 28. Another big scorer down the bottom.

Wife of Juan Peron...

-Eva.

-Eva Peron. Yeah, Evita. 59 points for that.

Thanks very much, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a little catch up of the scores at this point.

13 is the best score of that pass, well done, Alice.

Alice and Julie, I would say,

looking strong contenders for Round Two at this point.

Then, up to 43, Rakesh and Manoj.

Then, up to 79, Mel and Martin.

Then up to 89, James and Joe.

Joe, low score,

what we need from you. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more clues up on the board,

and here they come.

We've got...

I'm going to read those all one last time...

Martin, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Martin?

I'm an engineer, and I specify in scientific equipment.

So, mainly in labs.

Aah - huge science park just right in the middle of Honeybourne.

Honeybourne, yeah.

-Mm, Honeybourne.

-Honeybourne.

There we are. Now, Martin - and your interests?

I'm a big Wolves fan. So, yeah, I follow Wolverhampton Warriors.

I love the bigger wolf, I have to say.

See, I like a small wolf. See, that's where we're all different.

I'm a huge fan of small wolves.

I'm with you there, Martin.

And I'm a big fan of American sport, so I like my ice hockey, baseball,

American football, so I watch them quite a lot.

Good, this could play very neatly into your hands

-if that kind of a round came up on the show.

-That would be lovely!

Wouldn't that be nice? Now, Martin, you're on 79.

-I know.

-You're not quite the highest scorers,

-but to you're nine behind them.

-Yes.

If you wanted not to trouble the high-scorers,

you could score nine or less.

What are you going to go for on this board?

Um... I don't know many on there, but I'm going to play it safe.

I'm going to go with husband of Yoko Ono, John Lennon.

OK, John Lennon.

Here is your red line.

Trouble is, you have to get below that red line with John Lennon.

See if you can...

It's right...

85. 85 for John Lennon. APPLAUSE

Taking your total up to 164.

Again, bigger scorer than Romeo,

slightly smaller scorer than Bill Clinton.

-He's still got it.

-You know what I would do if I lived in Honeybourne?

-Tell me.

-Cover it in chocolate.

-Mmm, chocolate covered Honeybourne.

-Chocolate Honeybourne.

-That'd be lovely, wouldn't it?

-Oh! HE SMACKS HIS LIPS

Mm. Well done, Martin and Mel, for Honeybourne.

Is it nice, Honeybourne? We're assuming it is.

It's very nice, yes, on the edge of the Cotswolds.

Ah! Honey-coloured stone.

-Yep.

-Wonderful.

-Now, Julie, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

Great to have you here.

-Tell us what you do.

-I'm a volunteer for the National Trust

at Knole, in Sevenoaks.

That's nice - how many days a week are you there?

I'm there quite a lot, because I do quite a lot of admin for them

and I give guided tours and I room steward.

-So it's as much as I want, but...

-That's nice.

-A bit of variety, as well.

-Yeah.

-Cos if you were just room stewarding or just guided touring...

-Yes.

Now, if you're doing a guided tour...

-Mm-hm.

-..do you find you get into a sort of pattern,

you're trammelled into the same thing?

Yeah, you have to be very, very careful,

because otherwise it's a bit boring,

because you say the same thing, day in, day out, so you have to...

Look who you're talking to.

-Now, Julie, you're through to the next round.

-Oh!

-It does not matter what you score.

-Oh, good.

-You can score anything you like and you're through.

-OK.

Have some fun with your answer, if you like.

Maybe try and go for a bit of a risky one.

This board is so much better for me.

I'm so lucky that Alice went first.

So, I will go for the wife of Henry II,

the mother of Richard the Lionheart, Eleanor of Aquitaine.

Eleanor of Aquitaine, says Julie.

That's a good answer. No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Eleanor of Aquitaine.

It's right.

Down it goes.

Down it goes, to eight, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Our only single-figure score of this round so far.

21 is your total, our lowest total of the round.

Very well played. The ultimate power couple, those two,

controlled most of Great Britain and France.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now, Joe.

-Hello.

Joe, you've been handed a bit of a lifeline there by Martin,

but remind us what you do at Bristol.

I study environmental geoscience.

Absolutely, how good is your pool?

Er... Yeah, it's decent.

I think I'm pretty good, but, I mean...

-That's what they're all saying.

-I know!

That's what they're all saying.

Joe, your hobbies outside the pool.

I like my music, so I try to go to as many gigs as I can.

Excellent - Bristol, a fantastic base for that.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Lots of good gigs.

What was the last great gig you went to?

I actually went to Xavier Rudd,

which was kind of nice acoustic-y music, that was good.

Best one I've been to recently was probably Fat Freddy's Drop.

Excellent, this is just noise to me, but, yeah, that...

I mean, we had Glauco von...

-Bismarck.

-..Bismarck. Yeah. LAUGHTER

And Fat Face Drop.

-Fat Freddy's Drop.

-Fat Frillies Drop.

-Freddy's.

-Fat Freddy.

Oh, that makes sense.

Oh, no, it doesn't.

Fat Freddy's Drop. Joe, so, our board of famous spouses.

What would you like to go for?

Yeah, it's not very good for me, to be honest.

I know a few wives of Henry VIII,

so I might have a punt at one of them.

Er...

I think I'll go wife of Henry VIII and go Catherine Parr.

Catherine Parr, says Joe.

There is your red line, Joe.

Get below that with Catherine Parr

and you are through to the next round.

It has to be right, though.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it, if it is right.

Bad luck, Joe, I'm sorry.

That is an incorrect answer.

It scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 189.

Yeah, not Catherine Parr, I'm afraid.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Manoj, nice to have you back.

-Thank you. Nice to be back.

-Remind us what you do.

I'm a senior surveyor for a property management company

in West Yorkshire. And, well...

-And you like it.

-I love it.

Is that commercial property, or...?

No, mainly residential.

I do some commercial, but not too much.

-It's a bit nicer, residential, isn't it?

-It is.

You're looking at existing property,

or are you surveying for future properties, development?

-No, existing.

-Right.

-Managing and maintaining all the properties

my clients have throughout the country, basically.

That's nice, so how far afield do you travel?

I travel from the Midlands,

I go down to London and then I also go from the Midlands

up to West Yorkshire, out to the Welsh borders, and also East Anglia.

-That's fantastic.

-It's a massive field, it's lovely.

Yeah, very good. Now, you're on 43,

which means it doesn't matter what you score.

This board is all yours.

Talk us through it, if you can.

-Let's see what you can fill in.

-I'd have preferred the last one,

and obviously Julie has given the best answer there is there,

which was hopefully going to be mine, but never mind.

Er, one of the Henry VIII wives, I was contemplating,

but I think it's probably going to be the highest score on the board.

The one that I would go for will be wife of John F Kennedy,

which I believe is Jacqueline Bouvier.

OK, Jacqueline Bouvier, says Manoj. Let's see if that's right.

No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Jacqueline Bouvier.

Absolutely right.

66 is what it scores you, takes your total up to 109.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, Jacqueline Bouvier,

Jacqueline Kennedy, Jacqueline Onassis, very good answer.

Became so much easier to become a shipping magnate

after they started making ships out of metal.

-Oh, so much.

-When they were wooden,

-the shipping "magnet" was almost impossible.

-Yeah.

Er, now, the husband of Marie Antoinette was Louis XVI,

it would have scored you nine points.

-The wife of Bill Gates...

-Melinda.

It is Melinda Gates, would have scored you 15 points.

The husband of Jiang Qing was Chairman Mao.

-Mao Tse-tung.

-Yeah, Mao Tse-tung. 25 points for that -

and finally, this wife of Henry VIII...

-It has to be Anne Boleyn.

-It is Anne Boleyn, yeah.

That would have scored 42.

Catherine Parr, of course, survived Henry VIII.

Yeah, there we are.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard,

so we are at the end of our first round.

The pair we are saying goodbye to, with their high score of 189,

Joe and James. I'm sorry, it's you.

Back to your pool table you go, back to Bristol.

It's been great having you here, thanks so much for playing.

Joe and James.

APPLAUSE

Right, for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

And look at that -

suddenly we're down to three pairs, just like magic.

At the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye

to another pair, of course.

Rakesh and Manoj, our only returning pair now.

Julie, very well done, our lowest individual score.

Julie and Alice, our lowest combined score,

so, yes, clearly the pair to watch out for.

Very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is Board Games.

Board Games. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second,

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many spaces on the Monopoly board

that contain the letter S as they could.

Spaces on the Monopoly board that contain the letter S, Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for the names of any squares

on that classic London Monopoly board

that contain the letter S, please -

the names of any of those squares.

OK, thank you very much.

So, Manoj.

I'm going to go for Euston Square.

Euston Square, says Manoj, Euston Square.

OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Euston Square.

I'm afraid Euston Square, not on the board.

Scores you 100 points, sorry, Manoj.

Yeah, sorry, Manoj - got two esses in it, but not on the board.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Alice.

So we're looking for any spaces on the Monopoly board

-containing an S.

-Yes, OK. Um...

I feel like I should know loads.

I think I'm just going to go for a famous place in London

and hope it's on the board.

Is Mum making a face?

-No.

-You know what?

-I would say not yet.

Yeah, give it a second. Erm, Russell Square.

Russell Square.

Ooh, did you hear the... INTAKE OF BREATH

..from the audience, there?

Here comes Russell Square.

Let's see what happens.

I'm afraid another incorrect answer.

Ooh - Manoj and Rakesh are in the game.

But, yes, Alice, I'm afraid not Russell Square.

Do you know what I blame? I blame all these diffusion Monopoly boards.

-Different versions of it.

-They now make Monopoly boards...

-Well, you know, the Honeybourne one, for example.

-Yeah.

Because there isn't one Monopoly board any more.

You're right, there's hundreds -

-the London one wasn't the original one, of course.

-That's true.

You see, Atlantic City was the original one, I think.

It's interesting. So, we've had a wrong answer with two esses in it,

and now a wrong answer with three esses in it.

-A lot of pressure on Martin.

-Oh, yeah.

Thanks very much, Martin. What are you going to go for?

Erm, I'm going to go for a non-place name.

I'm going to go for Community Chest.

A, well done.

B, phew!

-OK, Community Chest.

-If it's right.

Oh, if it's right, yeah. Let's see. Is it right?

How many of our 100 people said Community Chest?

It's right. Look at that.

Oh, all of this just commanding lead you are taking on here, Martin.

17. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Very nicely done, Martin.

Yeah, that's where you win second prize

-in the beauty contest and so on.

-It's always nice. Community Chest.

It's always something good.

-Yeah, it's relaxing.

-Yeah, it's relaxing.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

17, the best score of the pass, well done, Martin and Mel.

I reckon you're going to be in the head-to-head.

Alice and Julie, Manoj and Rakesh,

you're going to have to fight it out between you.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Now, then, Mel, remember it's any space on the Monopoly board

containing the letter S.

OK, erm,

I've got a couple that I kind of think are probably a bit risky

because I'm not sure whether I've made them up or not.

But because Martin did so well, I'm just going to say Bond Street.

Bond Street, says Mel.

Bond Street. Here is your red line.

Get below that with Bond Street, you are definitely in the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 said Bond Street?

Perfect.

Oh, look at that. 25. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE 42 is your total.

Very nicely played.

Bond Street. Of course, it doesn't exist, Bond Street.

It's a Tube station but not a street.

-There's New Bond Street.

-There's Bond Street and New Bond Street.

No, it officially doesn't exist.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-How about that?

-I didn't know that.

-But it's got a Tube station.

What, do they call it Old Bond Street, then?

Because there's a bit...

Well, there's Old Bond Street and there's New Bond Street,

-but there is not Bond Street.

-No Bond Street.

-What do you think about that?

-I...

-It's slightly in between.

-Here's what I think...

-It's like when Sean Connery left

and Roger Moore hadn't started. There was no Bond.

There was an old Bond and there was going to be a new Bond

but there wasn't currently a Bond.

It's exactly like that.

-My word.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, Julie.

-Yes.

-Julie.

-Right.

-Did you know that about Bond Street?

Do you know, I did, because I used to work near there!

So...and it was very strange, there was no Bond Street.

I used to work at the bottom of Mayfair.

She knows everything!

-Er, Julie.

-Yes.

Now, there's no red line for you.

There's no target.

You just have to go as far down that column as you can.

Yes.

I do know some but I've just no idea what will be low or not,

so I'm going to go for...

-The Angel, Islington.

-The Angel, Islington, says Julie.

Let's see how far down the column you get.

No red line.

Ten.

APPLAUSE

That's good. 110 is your total.

Another very good answer, yeah.

The only site on the board named after a building.

I'm guessing a pub, was it?

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much.

Now, Rakesh, we have a goal for you.

You have to score nine or less.

OK. Monopoly's not my...my game.

But I've got a few answers floating around in my head.

I'm going to try for Vine Street.

Vine Street, says Rakesh.

Vine Street. Here is your red line.

Whew! Good luck. Are you going to get below that with Vine Street?

Let's find out.

-Oh!

-14! APPLAUSE

Bad luck, Rakesh. That was a very good answer.

114 is your total.

I thought that might go a little bit lower, that one.

Now, that's named after Vine Street.

Vine Street is named after a pub, as well,

as lots of London streets are,

but the actual square is named after the street.

There's a few answers that would have seen you through,

a few answers that would have scored you fewer than ten.

I'll take you through them. Coventry Street would have scored five.

You would have got four points for Bow Street

and for Euston Road, Manoj,

which is on the board, not Euston Square.

Three points for Just Visiting,

three points for Marlborough Street

and the best answer you possibly could have gone for,

very well done if you said this at home,

two points for Super Tax.

Super Tax.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, we're at the end of our second round and I'm very sorry to say,

Rakesh and Manoj, our second and last returning pair,

we have to say goodbye to you. It's been great having you on both shows.

Thanks for playing, but I'm sorry, this is where the road ends.

Rakesh and Manoj, thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Julie and Alice, Mel and Martin.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,000.

So, well done, everyone,

we've made it to the head-to-head,

which means you are now allowed to confer before you give your answers,

and the first player to win two questions

will be playing for the jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And it concerns adventurers.

Adventurers, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now of TV adventurers.

Can you identify the most obscure?

OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five adventurers - and here they come.

There we go. Five adventurers.

Julie and Alice, you have been our low scorers, so you will go first.

-So...

-Which ones do you know?

-I know B, C... B and D.

C was on Strictly. Do you remember...

-B is Bear Grylls...

-Yeah.

-A is Kate Humble.

-Oh, that one, that one.

I think we're going to go for A, and hopefully, that's Kate Humble.

Kate Humble, say Julie and Alice.

Kate Humble. Now, Mel and Martin, that board's all yours.

Talk us through it if you can.

OK.

That's Bear Grylls.

We know B is Bear Grylls, but we think that might be quite high.

We feel like we should know D.

I'm not sure. For some reason I think his name is Toby something...

-No.

-..but I'm not - we're not sure.

I think we're going to have to go for B, Bear Grylls.

Bear Grylls. So we have Kate Humble and we have Bear Grylls.

Julie and Alice said Kate Humble for A.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's right.

30.

APPLAUSE

30 for Kate Humble.

Mel and Martin, meanwhile, have gone for Bear Grylls for B.

Let's see if that's right

and that's see how many of our 100 people said Bear Grylls.

52. APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Julie and Alice.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, I think Kate Humble would be a very good mayor of Honeybourne.

-Don't you think?

-I think she would.

She'd be perfect. She would be perfect.

Let's fill in this bottom row, shall we?

C presents Deadly 60 and all sorts of other things as well,

Steve Backshall. That would have scored you six points,

a very good answer.

D is not a Toby.

-He's a Ben.

-He is a Ben, Ben Fogle.

Oh, yeah.

Would have scored 38.

And E is a pointless answer, he's the Canadian adventurer,

you see him of all sorts of Discovery type shows,

and he's Les Stroud.

Very well done if you said that.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

So, here comes your second question.

Mel and Martin, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

It concerns, this second question of ours, Cumbria.

Cumbria, Richard.

Simply five clues, now, to facts about the County of Cumbria.

-Can you give us the most obscure answer?

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

Now, Mel and Martin, it's over to you.

-The only one I'm certain about is Peter Rabbit.

-Yeah, I know.

Kendal Mint Cake, will it be higher?

-It's Kendal, the top one.

-OK.

Peter Rabbit, go with the Peter Rabbit one?

Erm, we know a couple,

it's just trying to kind of weigh out which is the safest and lowest.

Um, I think we're going to say the creator of Peter Rabbit,

who was Beatrix Potter.

Beatrix Potter, say Mel and Martin, Beatrix Potter.

Julie and Alice?

Yeah, we knew that one

and Kendal Mint Cake is Kendal Mint Cake,

and then I think we should go with the one at the bottom,

-which you know.

-Well, no, I may, I don't know if that's right.

It may be right, it may not be right.

I think we have to go for it,

just because I think Kendal Mint Cake is going to score more.

I don't know, you don't know the comedy duo.

I think the comedy duo I may know, but it's just a guess, so, no.

OK, we'll go for the largest lake.

Erm, the legend, the largest lake, hopefully, is Lake Windermere.

Lake Windermere.

So, we have Beatrix Potter and we have Windermere.

Mel and Martin went for Beatrix Potter.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

63. APPLAUSE

63, for Beatrix Potter.

Now, Julie and Alice have gone for Lake Windermere.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Windermere.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE 54 for that,

which means Julie and Alice, after only two questions,

you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

They are unstoppable, aren't they, the two of them?

-Yeah.

-Very well played. Let's fill in the top three.

The town in Cumbria, I think you all know, is Kendal.

It was a very big scorer, though. 81 points for that.

Now, Ulverston, you know this one?

-It's where Stan Laurel was born.

-It is, exactly. Laurel and Hardy.

So it's Laurel and Hardy, yeah.

That would have scored 30.

And Postman Pat's village?

-Is called Greendale.

-Greendale, yeah.

18 points for that, best answer on the board.

-Well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Mel and Martin, it is you.

But it's good news, really,

because it means we get to see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much indeed.

Mel and Martin, thanks very much for playing.

Thank you. APPLAUSE

But for Julie and Alice it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Julie and Alice.

You have seen off all the competition

-and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yay!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

Well, very well done indeed.

I mean, that sort of trajectory we've seen from you

suggests that you are going to do very well,

and go all the way and take that jackpot home,

because you were our low scorers in Round One.

We'll draw a veil over Russell Square in Round Two,

but then, 2-0 in the head-to-head,

that's a fantastic progress through the show.

Anything you'd love to see come up in this last round?

I honestly don't know, to be honest.

I mean, history for you would be good.

Literature, we might have a good go at.

-Yes.

-So, you know, books, history.

-A bit of football, even, possibly.

-OK, well, as always,

you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board,

and today's selection looks like this.

We've got...

Ooh.

If it was Premiership managers,

-it would be all right, but nothing else.

-But it might be...

-Seans for you.

-Acting Seans would be...

No, because I think that's quite broad.

Short Stories, we don't know what that would be.

-Latin American Singers would be you.

-No, no it wouldn't.

Either Football Managers or Short Stories.

-I'm intrigued by Short Stories.

-OK.

-Just because it's such a vague...

-Yeah, OK.

Let's go Short Stories.

Short Stories, Richard.

OK, very best of luck. Three very different authors for you here.

We're looking for the title of any of the short stories

in the Penguin Complete Short Fiction of Oscar Wilde.

Any of the adult short stories in Roald Dahl's Complete Short stories,

again the Penguin volume - just the adult ones -

or we are looking for any of the tales

in the Penguin Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe, please.

So, the short stories of Oscar Wilde, Roald Dahl or Edgar Allan Poe

in those volumes, please.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and to win that jackpot, only one of those answers needs to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock, and there they are.

-Your time starts now.

-Do you know anything?

I was kind of hoping for, like, Chekhov, but no. Um...

-I've read...

-Oscar Wilde, only The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

OK, let's say that one.

Short story... I've read some of the Roald Dahl ones,

and there's one about a tattoo on the back, do you remember it?

What's it called, The Painted something?

-There's one about somebody killing somebody with a joint of lamb.

-Oh!

-That's so good, that one.

-There's one that's quite -

-the title's a bit rude...

-Well, it won't...

I don't know if it's the collection or the short story.

Short stories by Edgar Allan Poe.

-I don't know.

-The Tell-Tale Heart.

-The Raven. The Ravens, that one.

-I don't know.

-Quoth The Raven, maybe?

OK, Tell-Tale Heart definitely is, I think.

-Oscar Wilde - what did you say...?

-The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

And it's actually a poem, probably, rather than short story.

-Agh!

-Actually. He did one about an inspector.

I can't think what it's called.

It'll be the Roald Dahl ones, can you not...?

I've read the leg of lamb one and I've read the one about a tattoo,

and I... It's...

-Ten seconds left.

-Mm...

-Oh, OK.

We're just going to have to guess.

We're going to have to make some up.

No, it's called The Painted something, I'm sure.

Think of that and we'll do a couple more.

OK, I'm afraid that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

So, from the Oscar Wilde one.

The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

OK, The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

Erm, let's go The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

-The Tell-Tale Heart.

-I'm pretty sure that's going to be a high scorer.

-Short stories by...

-And The Raven, for Edgar Allan Poe.

-OK.

-And The Raven.

-The Raven.

-OK, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

Oh, I think The Raven.

The Raven goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

Tell-Tale... Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

-Oh.

-Ballad Of Reading Gaol, and The Tell-Tale Heart in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have got The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

We have got The Tell-Tale Heart and we've got The Raven.

Well, very best of luck.

Three answers on the board.

Let's hope one of those is pointless and will win that jackpot for you.

£2,000 - not a bad sum to be taking home.

Julie, what would you do with that?

Erm, we've got, one of... one of my sons lives in Cape Town,

so it would be nice to go and visit him.

-Very good. Alice?

-I - well, I need a new car.

I've had the same car since I was 17

and I think I'd quite like a new one.

-So it would go towards that.

-OK.

-It's on its last legs.

-Very best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers does it for you.

Your first answer was The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

In this case, we were looking for any short story by Oscar Wilde.

You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless.

Obviously, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £2,000, let's see if anyone said The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

Oh!

I'm afraid, for the reason I think you said, Julie,

that is an incorrect answer.

Not a pointless answer, therefore,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer - in fact, your next two answers

are both Edgar Allan Poe short stories.

The Tell-Tale Heart, you said.

We are looking for a pointless answer.

For £2,000, let's see how many of our 100 people

said The Tell-Tale Heart.

It's right.

It's right. Now, your first answer was The Ballad Of Reading Gaol,

which was incorrect -

but The Tell-Tale Heart absolutely not incorrect by any stretch.

Down it goes, single figures, down it goes.

-Tell-Tale Heart...

-Oh!

APPLAUSE

Wow. From 100 to one in just one question.

Not bad at all.

Let's see if you can do it with your next answer.

Your third and final answer has to be pointless

for you to win the jackpot. It is The Raven.

Once again, we were looking for Edgar Allan Poe short stories.

It has to be pointless.

How many of our 100 people said The Raven?

No, it's wrong.

Oh, bad luck!

APPLAUSE An incorrect answer, I'm afraid.

Also scores you 100 points.

Wow. Well, you came as close as you can get with that second answer.

That was a fantastic answer, The Tell-Tale Heart,

but I'm afraid one person out of our 100 got that,

so I'm afraid you didn't manage to find

that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over onto the next show -

but, boy, what a performance on the show.

You have done so well.

Fabulous low score after fabulous low score.

I'm sorry you didn't find something slightly more exciting

on the board in this last round, but that's how it is, I'm afraid,

it always is slightly specific -

but you both get a Pointless trophy to take home so very well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you so much.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, as you said, The Ballad Of Reading Gaol

and The Raven both poems, I'm afraid, so both incorrect answers.

I used to love those Roald Dahl -

I had both of the books of short stories.

I was literally, like you, we know the stories,

it's trying to remember the names. The one with a tattoo was Skin,

-that's called...

-Yeah! So good.

-..and that was a pointless answer if you had said it.

-Oh!

Lamb To The Slaughter is the famous one which would have scored four.

-Oh, OK.

-So, not too bad, don't worry about that.

Now, let's start, shall we, with Oscar Wilde?

The Canterville Ghost is a pointless answer.

In fact, everything apart from The Happy Prince,

The Selfish Giant and The Young King.

All the other short stories in that volume were pointless answers.

Well done if you got one. Roald Dahl, now.

Again, loads and loads of pointless answers here.

We see them all in Tales Of The Unexpected.

Again, everything there apart from Lamb To The Slaughter and Taste,

everything else was a pointless answer.

And Edgar Allen Poe.

Never Bet The Devil Your Head - that is very, very good advice, children.

All of those pointless answers.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard -

and thanks very much, Julie and Alice.

Very sadly, they didn't win today's jackpot

which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.