Episode 45 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless, the show

where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can,

and you do that by coming up with the answers

no-one else could think of.

Let meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, my name is Gillian. This is my partner in crime, Lesley,

and we both live in Newcastle.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name is Derek.

This is my friend Kyle and we are from Bolton.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Mark.

This is my wonderful girlfriend, Katie,

and we live in Chelmsford in Essex.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, my name is Mitchell.

This is my wife, Sarah, and we come from Aberdeen.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much indeed. A very warm welcome to all of you.

Lovely to have you here on Pointless.

We'll chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His intelligence is way above the mean,

so he is, in fact, very mean.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hi, everybody. Hello.

That joke doesn't make any sense,

-either mathematically or linguistically.

-I know.

-I should have said it faster...

-Yeah, you should have done.

..to bamboozle people with speed.

Yeah, or done a different one.

I think it's a really poor start.

-Really?

-I think the whole show...

I think a lot of work now for our eight contestants

in raising this game.

Firstly, you've done something

that is mathematically and linguistically incorrect.

I have then drawn attention to it, which is unprofessional,

by the way, I should go,

"Ha-ha-ha, very mean! You! I've got to watch you!"

Two returning pairs from the last show.

Kyle and Derek on podium two, who got knocked out in Round One,

-they were very unlucky in that Round One.

-They were.

Kyle came up with a very good word, just wasn't in the dictionary.

One of those things that happens sometimes.

So we owe him one.

Katie and Mark got through to Round Two,

so no-one here has seen the head-to-head as yet,

but two pairs are going to.

Should be a lot of fun, I think.

Quite an exciting jackpot as well.

We've given it away so much recently,

but, actually, this is the biggest...

I mean, it's not huge, but it's the biggest it's been for a while.

Anyway, Steph and Charlie didn't win it, is the point,

so we are adding another £1,000 to it,

so today's jackpot starts off...

Look at this! ..at £4,000.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

So, remember this, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Very best of luck to all four pairs.

No conferring in the first two rounds, remember.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second.

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Songs from musicals, Richard?

On each board, we will show you the names of seven songs from musicals.

You just have to tell us what musical they are from, please.

We are also going to give you the year in which

that musical was first performed on the London stage.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, so,

we are looking for the musicals that these songs are taken from.

Here is our first board of seven. And on it we have got...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

-Lesley.

-Ooh...

Now, that face tells me this is not your favourite round.

-No, it's not.

-Ah.

-Ugh.

Well, listen, Lesley, tell me...

Here from Newcastle, which is lovely. What do you do?

I'm an accounts manager for a family firm.

What does the family firm do?

We make curry pastes and curry powders.

Ah, delicious!

And you sell that all over the United Kingdom, do you?

-Em...just about.

-Just about.

And what are your interests when you are not running the accounts?

Oh, I have a pug dog, who I like to walk,

and I also walk my ex-husband's pug dog and my niece's pug,

so I have a lot...

Are all these pugs related?

No, no. They just run amok in my house.

In your house!

Now, Lesley, Lesley, what would you like to go for?

I think I'm going to go for

Let's Go Fly A Kite and Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins, says Lesley.

Let's see if that's right for Let's Go Fly A Kite

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is Mary Poppins. Well done.

There we are, 56 for Mary Poppins.

-Not bad.

-It's not 100.

-Not bad. Gets us off to a good start.

Yeah, that stage musical written by Julian Fellowes

who also created Downton Abbey.

-I did not know that!

-Yep, there you go.

There we go. Thank you.

Derek, welcome back. Welcome back.

It was Round One we had to say goodbye to you last time.

-Yeah, Round One.

-Remind us what you do, Derek.

I work for a local authority, I work in the environmental health.

-That's right, pest control...

-Pest control, dog warden.

And dog warden, yes.

When you give your last answer on the last show,

you said, "As an ex-military man," I think you said,

so what is your military background?

When I was 18, I joined the Grenadier Guards.

How long were you in the Guards?

-I did six years in the Grenadier Guards.

-Wow!

Then I did 12 years in the Territorial Army.

And how many times did you Troop The Colour?

Twice. 1977 and '78.

Excellent.

Now, then, Derek, musicals.

Now, some people, I know,

won't be as happy with this as others.

-How are you feeling?

-No, I'm not.

-You're not that happy?

-No.

Em...

I... I'd have to guess, to be honest.

I think I'll guess for

I Just Can't Wait To Be King to be Lion King.

The Lion King, says Derek.

Let's see, The Lion King,

is that right and how many of our 100 people said that?

It's right! Very well guessed.

56 is our only score so far and you pass it...

Look at that, 37.

37 for the Lion King.

Hugely long-running musical.

That song written by Elton John, of course.

I once took my entire...

my son's entire class, I had to accompany them to The Lion King.

Elton John and Tim Rice, of course.

They were both there, yes, they were both helping out,

-which was very, very kind of them.

-That's good, yeah.

Thank you very much indeed. Katie.

-Hello.

-Katie, welcome back.

Now, remind us what you do.

I'm a support worker.

That's right, and what do you like getting up to

when you are not support working?

When I'm not doing that, I do quite a lot of jiving.

-In a collective of jivers?

-Yes.

-Where do you go for that?

We run a monthly night in Canterbury.

See, that's fun!

So I travel down for that

-and we sometimes get a band, sometimes have a DJ.

-Superb!

And you are taught all the steps?

What is the most impressive dance you do?

I'm not very impressive when I do it, it's just fun!

Fantastic. Now, Katie,

how are you feeling about musicals and songs from musicals?

I know a couple of those,

but how high or low they are going to score, I don't know,

so I'm going to go for Good Morning Baltimore

and say it's from Hairspray.

Hairspray, says Katie. Let's see if that's right

for Good Morning Baltimore,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Hairspray.

It's right.

Well, 56 is our high score, 37 our low.

You pass the high score, you pass the low score, you keep going.

Look at that, down to 7. Wow, Katie!

Good going!

7 for Hairspray.

Great play, Katie.

That's my favourite, Hairspray. It's so brilliant.

And it's funny.

It's funny, smart, all of those things, and brilliant songs...

I love Hairspray!

Excellent, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, now, Mitchell, a warm welcome to Pointless,

-great to have you here from Aberdeen.

-Yes.

What keeps you busy up there, Mitchell?

I work in a health club up in Aberdeen

and when I'm not doing that, I've got a young family.

Young family. So, the health club first.

Are you a trainer or...?

No, I used to be, now I'm the deputy general manager, so...

Oh, you run the place!

Are you good at turning up and doing your time in the gym as well?

-Oh, yeah.

-You haven't really got an excuse, have you?

-No, no excuses.

-Absolutely not. And your young family.

Who is in your young family, what age are they?

Two boys, Aidan and Millar.

That's Millar with an A, I'm guessing,

-proper Scottish spelling of Millar there.

-Yes.

-How old are they?

-They are eight and five,

so I spend a lot of time with them, playing football.

Aidan, Millar, hope your dad does OK.

Take us through the board, fill in those blanks.

Unfortunately, I can't.

The answers that have already been given are the ones I knew.

I think I know one.

For Radio Gaga, I'll go for Queen,

only because I recognise it as a song, so I'll go for that.

-OK, that's going to be your answer?

-Yes, Queen.

Queen. OK.

So, the key thing is going to be, is that a correct answer?

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Queen.

Bad luck, Mitchell, I'm afraid not Queen.

Another musical, but that scores you 100 points.

Yes, based on the music of Queen,

but the musical is called We Will Rock You.

That's the answer there and would have scored 28 points.

Can't Take My Eyes Off You.

-It's the Jersey Boys.

-Jersey Boys, yep, 4 points.

We Both Reached For The Gun, Chicago.

Would have scored you 7.

-And Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer...

-Cats.

-Cats, yes.

19 for that, so the best answer on the board

is Jersey Boys. Well done if you said that.

Excellent, thank you. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Katie, look at that! Katie and Mark at the top of the table there,

lovely low score of 7.

I mean, really low, because we then travel up to 37,

where we find Derek and Kyle,

looking very good there on podium two, by the way.

I think we will see you beyond this round.

And then up to 56, Lesley and Gillian.

Ah, and then the issue of the 100.

Mitchell and Sarah.

Yes, Sarah, you will be the first person on the new board,

so make sure you don't go for something comfortable,

go for a nice low score, take a bit of a risk,

it might keep you in the game. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we are going to pick seven more songs up on the board

and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Sarah, welcome.

So, what you do in Aberdeen?

I'm an administration assistant in the same health club as Mitch.

Did you meet at the health club?

No, we met someone else where we worked together, in a supermarket.

Oh, wow, so you sort of... Who went first to the health club?

-Mitch.

-Mitch, and then he sort of got in touch,

said, "This is fine over here, leave the supermarket, come..."

He likes to think he got me the job, but I, on my own merit, obviously...

Let... We will let him think that, shall we, for now?

So, do you actually work in the same office as Mitchell, then?

Yeah, but I'm part-time, so we...fleetingly see each other.

-Well, you've got Aidan and Millar to look after.

-Exactly.

Now, then, Sarah, what would you like to go for?

Em...

I know a few.

I'm going to say The Wizard And I

and go for Wicked.

Wicked, says Sarah, for...

There was a little appreciative hum there,

from a lone member of our audience. There we are.

No red line for you as you are the high-scorers.

Let's if Wicked is right, let's see how many of our 100 people said.

It is Wicked.

Oh, it's a good score, look at that!

Down to 16. Very well done indeed.

Second-lowest score of the round so far. 116 is your total.

Very good answer, Sarah, well played, kept yourself in it there.

-I've not seen Wicked. Have you seen it?

-I haven't.

-It's supposed to be good, isn't it?

-They do say.

People go and see it hundreds of times.

Yes, people get sort of obsessed.

Defying Gravity, that's the song I know from it.

I don't even know that.

You mustn't defy gravity at home, kids, by the way.

Don't do that. That would be annoying for parents,

if their children started defying gravity.

Thank you very much indeed.

Mark, welcome back.

Now, remind us what you do, Mark.

I work on a desktop publishing team

for one of the big four accountancy firms.

So, desktop publishing is... What's that?

You are publishing accountancy tomes?

Well, we produce the kind of presentations and publications

that the department I'm in kind of send out, so...

Right, OK.

Last time we discovered that you are a keen sportsman,

-done lots of running...

-A bit of running,

I play a lot of football, a lot of cricket,

I sort of do a lot of work

for the charity that sort of supports us as well.

Very good.

Mark, are you a fan of the West End?

-Do you like going to musicals?

-No, no, probably this would be

one of my least-favourite rounds, I think.

Luckily, Katie was good.

She was so good that it doesn't matter even if you get this wrong.

Yeah, so I'm actually going to go for the last one,

what was the last one?

The last one was Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin',

-was that the one?

-Yeah, I think The Sound Of Music.

OK, The Sound Of Music, says Mark, for Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin'.

We have no red line because you are already through.

Let's see, though, if that's right.

The Sound Of Music for Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin'.

Not The Sound Of Music, but it couldn't matter less.

It scores you 100 points, but you're already through.

-107 is your total.

-Absolutely.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass, Mark.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, then, Kyle, welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Kyle.

I work in admin at the Royal Mail.

In admin at the Royal Mail,

but, really excitingly, you play the euphonium.

That's right, I do play the euphonium.

The euphonium in a brass band. Do you march as a brass band?

Are you one of those kinds of brass bands?

We do march, yes, yes. Lots of concerts and civic events.

-I'd love to be in a brass band.

-Oh!

-How much fun must that be?!

Orchestras, I see why people would want to be in one, but it's not...

-But a brass band!

-Brass band!

It would be like... What's the famous...?

-Brighouse and something, what's that?

-Rastrick.

-That's right.

That... Yeah, that beautiful purity of sound is just... It is something.

Someone was telling me once, that George Martin, actually,

booked some pipers for a recording session

and they kept walking and he kept saying, "Do you mind not walking?"

And they said, "No, no, we have to walk, we have to walk."

There was no way they could pipe and not walk.

Isn't that hilarious?

So they had to put bits of carpet under them, so the pipers...

I think it was just sort of instinctive

to march with the pipes. That's hilarious.

So, there you are, you were on 37,

the high-scorers on 116 are Sarah and Mitchell.

If you can score 78 or less, you are into Round Two.

OK.

Well, I like a musical.

Some of these I do know.

I will have to go safe

and I will choose Time Warp

and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show, says Kyle.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for it.

There is your red line, get below that

and you are through to the next round.

It's right. You are through to Round Two.

Look at that - 61, very well done indeed.

98 is your total.

Yes, Time Warp was actually added to that during rehearsals,

it was used to pad out the show, it wasn't in the original draft.

What, the producers came in

and said, "Running a bit short, can we make something up?"

-Exactly that, and Time Warp was slipped in.

-There you go.

-OK. Now, Gillian.

-Yes.

-Welcome to Pointless, lovely to have you here from Newcastle.

-Thank you.

What keeps you happy in Newcastle?

What do you like getting up to there?

Since retiring from teaching, I've been doing a lot of volunteer work.

Very nice. So, what did you teach?

I ended up doing special needs for the last 18 years.

-In Newcastle itself?

-Yes.

Yes, and since retiring, what voluntary things have you done?

I have volunteered for when the poppies went up to the north-east,

-to Woodhorn Colliery.

-Lovely!

And I'm going to be a cake conductor again this year.

Because those cakes aren't going to conduct themselves, are they?

I tell you, pushing that trolley... We have a big supermarket trolley

with a big cake on and you have to wear this outfit

and you wheel it through the streets of Darlington

with a brass band at the front.

What about that? Probably with Kyle.

-Can I ask a question?

-Yes.

What did all of that mean?

LAUGHTER

-Well, the cake conductor...

-That's exactly what I think afterwards.

What was that about?!

What is it, is this a charity thing? You just push big cakes?

No, it's just one of these mass performances

that go on in the north-east, so...

-You get weird and wonderful things to wear.

-Things to wear?

What, for the conducting? Or just for a mass performance?

We all had a bowler hat, a pair of glasses

and a long grey-and-red coat last year.

Goodness knows what it is going to be this year.

It's Hansel and Gretel, the theme, so...

This is getting worse, if anything.

None of this is helping.

This is my life! Marvellous!

I mean... And you've got to turn the trolley round.

This really feels like it would be a good use of the Red Button, I think.

Press the Red Button now if you want to know more about...

That's what a lot of people say!

OK, now, Gillian, we have an exciting contest on our hands here.

-I forgot about that!

-Because over there,

116, Sarah and Mitchell, our high-scorers.

You are on 56.

59 or less gets you into Round Two.

-Do you fancy talking us through the board?

-No.

LESLEY LAUGHS

That's it, no.

I only know one, I think.

Well, that's good!

I'm going to go for the bottom one, Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin',

and I think it might be Seven Brides For Seven Brothers.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS CHUCKLE

What's wrong, Lesley? LAUGHTER

Did you see that?

-Is it not?

-No, it's not.

Is it not?

Let's find out!

LAUGHTER OK, here is your red line.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with

Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin' being in Seven Brides For Seven Brothers.

-I'm shocked, I'm shocked!

-Oh, no!

-It's Oklahoma!

Oh, I'm afraid it's not Seven Brides For Seven Brothers.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 156.

Yeah, I'm afraid it's from Darlington Cake Trolley The Musical.

-I'm so sorry.

-LAUGHTER

No, I think, as Lesley knows, it's Oklahoma.

Oklahoma is the answer to that, would have scored 33 points.

All-American Prophet is from another wonderful musical.

This one you shouldn't all go and see.

-Book Of Mormon.

-Book of Mormon, yeah.

That scores 8 points.

The Word Of Your Body

is Spring Awakening.

Very well done if you said that, 3 points for that.

Be Our Guest.

Is Beauty And The Beast.

Beauty And The Beast, it is, 20 points.

-And I Dreamed A Dream?

-Les Miserables.

Les Miserables, and that scored 38,

so the best answer is Spring Awakening,

-very well done if you said that.

-There we are. Thank you

very much indeed, Richard. So, we are at the end of our first round

and this breaks my heart -

Gillian and Lesley, I'm afraid you are our high-scorers.

I thought you were going to go all the way through there.

Just have to go back to pushing the trolley with the cakes.

No, because we'll see you again next time, which is lovely,

-so that's fine. Next time, through to the final, I think.

-Yes.

But for now, thanks so much, Gillian and Lesley, wonderful.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain

and, at the end of this round,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Well, far podium, phew!

In fact, middle podium, phew as well!

You both had a bit of a reprieve there.

And Kyle and Derek, very well done.

Lovely to have you with us in Round Two.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs

who is going to go first, who is going to go second,

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Commonwealth countries in the Southern Hemisphere, Richard.

We're looking for the name of any Commonwealth country

wholly or partly in the Southern Hemisphere, please.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN in its own right.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, Derek.

-Hm.

-Hm-hm.

-Hm, not a good subject for me.

I'll say... It's probably wrong, I think.

-I'll say Austria.

-Austria?

-Austria.

-Austria.

OK, Austria says Derek.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Austria.

DEREK MUTTERS UNDER HIS BREATH

I know what I've done.

Bad luck. I think I know what has happened there,

but I'm afraid that scores you 100 points.

I'm sorry, Derek.

Yeah, not... You know it's not Austria as well, sorry.

-It's tough on that first podium.

-I know.

Yeah, not Southern Hemisphere, not a member of the Commonwealth.

-Now, Mark...

-Yeah, I'm not sure whether to take a risk now or not.

-I'm going to go Namibia.

-Namibia, says Mark.

Namibia, let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

I think this is going to be a good one, down it goes.

Look at that. Down it goes to 5,

very well done indeed, Mark!

5 for Namibia.

That's great work, Mark, very well played.

Became a member of the Commonwealth in 1990.

The most sparsely populated country in the Commonwealth.

Thanks very much, Richard. Mitchell.

I've got a couple of answers.

A little bit unsure if I should take the risk.

Em... I'm going to try Jamaica.

Jamaica, says Mitchell. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Jamaica.

Bad luck, Mitchell. Great news for Derek and Kyle

to have a bit of company up there on 100,

but I'm afraid 100 is what that scores.

Yeah, it is in the Commonwealth,

but Jamaica is in the same hemisphere as Aberdeen.

Well, as you can tell!

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

Halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

5, Mark, very well done, the best score of that pass.

Mark and Katie, I think you will be in the head-to-head, is my hunch.

Sarah and Kyle, it's going to be between the pair of you

to decide who stays with us and who leaves

at the end of this round, so best of luck with that.

We will come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, now, Sarah,

remember we are looking for any country that is wholly or partly

in the Southern Hemisphere and part of the Commonwealth.

-This is literally...

-It's hard.

-..my worst subject.

Yeah, it's really hard.

I'm just going to name somewhere we went travelling,

I don't even know where it is or if it's in the Commonwealth, and say...

Fiji.

Fiji. Fiji, says Sarah.

Let us see. No red line for you,

you are joint high-scorers

Let us see if it's right and then let's see

how far down the column it goes if it is.

It is part of the Commonwealth!

It is south of the Equator!

It is quite a good answer, I think, Sarah.

-Look at that, 22!

-I'll take that, I'll take that.

Very well done indeed.

122 is your total.

Yeah, very well played, Sarah.

It joined in 1970, left briefly and came back.

Thank you.

Now, Katie, Katie, good news for you.

You are through, even if you score 100.

Good, because I haven't got a clue!

I'm just going to pick somewhere that I know

is definitely in the Southern Hemisphere and say New Zealand.

New Zealand. New Zealand.

I think you might be all right, but anyway, you're through,

there's not even a red line for you, that's how through you are!

Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Zealand.

It is right and it scores 73, which takes your total up to 78.

The New Zealand Air Force,

its logo is a kiwi, which is a flightless bird.

Might as well have a hippo!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Yeah.

Now, Kyle.

Kyle, we have a target here.

21 or less.

I really...

can't think of anything now,

so I'll take a guess at the Seychelles.

The Seychelles!

The Seychelles, says Kyle.

Interesting! Here is your red line.

Get below that with the Seychelles, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the Seychelles.

It's right!

It's not only right, it gets you through, look at that!

Not only that, it scores 1!

Kyle!

Very well done indeed!

Best score of the round, taking your total up to 101

and getting you through to the head-to-head. Very well done.

That's great work, Kyle. Yes, 90% forest, the Seychelles.

-That's a lot, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

And then some beach.

-And SOME beach!

-Some beach that is!

There is only one pointless answer on the whole board

and that is Lesotho.

Very well done if you said Lesotho.

Namibia was a good clue, lots of the Southern African countries

are on this list, a lot of the Pacific nations as well.

1 point for Solomon Islands, 1 point for Swaziland, Rwanda,

2 points for Kiribati, the Maldives, Uganda,

3 points for Mauritius, Nauru, Malawi,

4 points for Mozambique, Vanuatu...

Vanuatu getting 4 points! How times change! ..Tanzania.

5 points for Tuvalu. Tuvalu?!

7 points for Zambia,

8 points for Papua New Guinea and Samoa, those are the low scorers.

Let's take a look at the top three scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

South Africa would have scored you 37,

we've just seen New Zealand at 73,

and Australia 80.

Very much the Austria of the southern hemisphere.

That's what I meant to say!

Yeah, I know, I think we spotted that!

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of her second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I'm sorry to say, Sarah and Mitchell, it's you,

but we will see you again next time and we will look forward to that.

I'm sure you will go much further then, but in the meantime,

thanks very much, Sarah and Mitchell.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Katie and Mark, Kyle and Derek,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands, let's not forget, at £4,000.

Well, this is fun. We've made it to the head-to-head,

which means you can confer before you give your answers

and the first pair to win two questions

will play for that jackpot.

It's our two returning pairs, I like that!

Our to returning pairs,

neither of whom have been in the head-to-head before,

so you are sort of old hands and new hands at the same time,

if you see what a mean. But I think...

Obviously, only one pair will go through to the final,

so I think this is going to be very close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

Sketch shows, Richard.

Yes, we will show you a list now

of recurring characters or sketches, famous sketches,

from various British sketch shows.

We need just need you to tell us the name of the sketch show, please.

OK, so let's reveal our five clues and here they are.

I'm going to read all of those again.

Katie and Mark will go first.

THEY CONFER

We'll go for D, Goodness Gracious Me.

D, the fourth one down, Goodness Gracious Me, say Katie and Mark.

OK, Kyle and Derek. Over to you.

Do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-Yeah, I think so.

-We know a couple.

The top one is Little Britain.

Four candles, Two Ronnies.

I think the third one, I'm not sure about, is Trigger Happy TV,

but I don't think it is,

so we'll choose the last one

as The Fast Show.

OK, so, Kyle and Derek are going to say The Fast Show,

so we have Goodness Gracious Me and we have The Fast Show.

Katie and Mark have gone for Goodness Gracious Me.

Let see if that's right for the fourth one down

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Goodness Gracious Me.

It's right.

Oh, that's a good answer, look at that!

Down to 11 for Goodness Gracious Me!

Now, Kyle and Derek, meanwhile,

have gone for The Fast Show for the bottom one.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said The Fast Show.

It's right.

Oh, 20 for The Fast Show.

Close. But very well done, Katie and Mark,

after one question, you are up 1-0.

Two good answers, but there is one better one up there.

The top two are the biggest scorers.

Little Britain, as you knew, at the top.

Little Britain would have scored 46.

And you'd have got 63 for the Two Ronnies.

And this is the best answer.

-HHTV is a clue.

-There's the clue.

-Horrible Histories.

-Horrible Histories, absolutely,

and that would have scored 5 points.

Very well done if you said that.

Fantastic. Thanks very much. Here comes your second question.

Kyle and Derek, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

Our second question is all about...

Food and drink named after places in England.

Yeah, we are just about to show you a list of five foods and drinks

that contain a place name in England,

but we have missed out that place name.

Can you tell us what it is, please?

Thanks very much indeed, so let's reveal

our food and drink items and here they are.

So we have...

Kyle and Derek will go first.

THEY CONFER

So, the top one, Melton Mowbray.

OK, Melton Mowbray, say Kyle and Derek. Melton Mowbray.

Now, Katie and Mark, that board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

We don't know the second, do we?

No, unless it's a Bedfordshire clanger, but that's not...

It is in Bedfordshire, so it could be a Bedfordshire clanger.

Plymouth gin.

Lancashire hotpot. And Dover sole.

-So, Plymouth gin?

-Yeah.

I'd love to go for a gin!

-We'll go with Plymouth gin.

-Plymouth gin.

So, we have Melton Mowbray and we have Plymouth,

in the order they were given.

Kyle and Derek have gone for Melton Mowbray.

Let's see if that's right for the pork pie.

It is right.

There we are, 51 for Melton Mowbray pork pie.

Meanwhile, Katie and Mark have gone for Plymouth gin.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It is right.

And it beats the pork pie, look at that!

18!

18 for Plymouth gin, which means, very well done, Katie and Mark,

after only two questions, you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

It's funny, because for some reason,

I always thought Plymouth gin was Plymouth in the United States.

I don't know why I thought that. Now I know better.

You did know the second one.

Luton and Leighton Buzzard are both in Bedfordshire,

so Bedfordshire clanger.

It's a type of pasty with savoury and sweet filling.

17 points for that.

Lancashire hotpot, obviously a bigger scorer, 75.

And Dover sole also a lot of points, would have got you 79.

So Bedfordshire clanger the best answer on that board.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm sorry, Kyle and Derek, it is you, but a great performance today,

right through to the head-to-head and some lovely answers from you.

This, sadly, is the end of the line,

but it's been wonderful having you here. Thank you so much for playing.

Kyle and Derek! APPLAUSE

But, for Katie and Mark, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Katie and Mark,

you have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £4,000.

Well, just looking back over the show,

I think the first answer you gave us in the show was Hairspray,

which scored something wonderfully low,

then we had Namibia in the next round,

then we had 2-0 in the head-to-head,

it just says to me that we are heading towards something special

-in this last round, I think. That's what

-I

-think.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Not musicals.

But saying that, no, musicals would be fine

because Katie would be good at them, so...

-Football.

-Not football.

-Capital cities for me.

Yeah, film soundtracks, that sort of thing. History.

OK, well, you know how it works. We put four things on the board.

They always look quite forbidding,

but behind them, there are three subsets,

so there is always something for you to have a go at.

Usually, at least, anyway.

Let's hope there is something

you like the look of on the first board and here it is.

-It's kind of everything you asked for, isn't it?!

-Yeah(!)

It's got to be Crime Writers or Sporting Williams.

-Let's go Sporting Williams.

-OK.

-We will go Sporting Williams.

-Sporting Williams, very good.

-Richard.

-OK, three very different questions here.

We are looking for anyone who has driven competitively

in a Formula One Grand Prix race

for the Williams team, from 1977 through to 2015.

We are looking for anybody who Serena Williams beat

on the way to winning all of her singles titles at Wimbledon.

That's 2002, 2003, 2009, 2010, 2012 or 2015.

Or anyone that Mark Williams beat

on the way to his two world titles, please, at the Crucible.

So, Williams Formula One drivers,

anyone who Serena Williams has beaten

on the way to winning the Wimbledon singles title,

or anyone that Mark Williams beat

on his way to winning the World Snooker Championship.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks, Richard.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Good!

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-OK.

-OK, Williams drivers. Damon Hill, but it's obvious.

I'm just trying to think who drove with him.

Berger? I don't know. I don't know any of these.

But you will. You'll know them. Right, Serena Williams.

I think Ralf Schumacher drove for Williams.

Think. Serena Williams...

-If she won it last year, she beat Heather Watson.

-OK.

And other players she beat...

What about Mark Williams?

-Mark Williams...

-What sport is it?

-Snooker.

-Snooker, OK.

-So, John Higgins...

-KATIE LAUGHS

-Is it a sport?!

John Higgins, Peter Ebdon...

-Maybe go for Peter Ebdon, that could be a good one.

-Yes.

Go Ralf Schumacher.

-Serena Williams...

-Ten seconds left.

-Em...

-And what did you say for Serena Williams?

Someone from a bit further back.

Quick!

-We'll go Kim Clijsters.

-OK.

OK, that is your minute up, I'm afraid.

I now need your three answers

and if you could say which category you are answering.

So, we'll go Ralf Schumacher for the Williams drivers.

Ralf Schumacher.

Kim Clijsters...

-Kim Clijsters.

-..for Serena Williams.

-And what was the other one?

-Mark Williams, snooker.

-We will go Peter Ebdon.

-Peter Ebdon?

-Yeah, the Mark Williams question.

-OK, so, one from each.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Peter Ebdon?

Peter Ebdon goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

Kim Clijsters.

Kim Clijsters.

OK, well, let's put those up on the board in that order,

and here they are.

We have got Kim Clijsters,

we've got Ralf Schumacher

and we've got Peter Ebdon.

Well, very best of luck, three good answers up there.

Now, if one of those should win the jackpot for you,

you would take £4,000 away. What would you do with that?

Katie?

I think... Well, we're going away to Cuba,

so we would probably put it towards that. Em...

A bit of house renovations and...

-Fun stuff.

-Very nice.

Mark, anything you want to add to that?

It would buy a lot of mojitos in Cuba, I think.

So maybe future savings for a wedding, maybe.

-Ooh!

-Very nice, very, very nice.

Well, very best of luck. Three good answers, as I say.

Your first answer was Kim Clijsters. In this case,

we were looking for Serena Williams' Wimbledon opponents.

Only one of these answers has to be pointless, remember,

for you to win that jackpot.

For £4,000, let's find out how many people said Kim Clijsters.

Is it pointless?

Oh, no!

Kim Clijsters an incorrect answer, I'm afraid,

so not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer is Ralf Schumacher.

In this case, we were looking for

any Williams team driver in Formula One.

If nobody said Ralf Schumacher and it is right,

you will leave here with £4,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ralf Schumacher.

It's right.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Ralf Schumacher.

Your first answer, Kim Clijsters, was incorrect.

Ralf Schumacher now takes us down through the teens,

into single figures, down it goes,

still going down, still going down...

-to 2!

-2!

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

I mean, that is a fantastic score, 2,

but it is not pointless, annoyingly,

which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

your most confident shot at a pointless answer, you thought,

which was Peter Ebdon. MARK AND KATIE LAUGH

Now, in this case, we were looking for any opponent of Mark Williams

in the World Snooker Championships.

If this is pointless, it wins you £4,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Peter Ebdon.

Is it pointless?

-No, bad luck!

-Aw!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, your two wrong answers were good wrong answers, at least,

and your middle answer was absolutely fantastic.

Ralf Schumacher - brilliant low score there, but sadly,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £4,000,

that will roll over on to the next show,

but it's been wonderful to have you on

and what a great performance right across the show today.

And you each get a Pointless trophy to take home, so there you are,

something to show for it, but very well done, Katie and Mark.

Yeah, terrific performance and glad it was a jackpot round

you could at least have a crack at and gave us three good answers.

Kim Clijsters has never played Serena Williams at Wimbledon,

funnily enough, which is unusual.

Let's take a look at the Formula One drivers first.

Some big names up here. I know people at home

will definitely have got something here.

Also could have had other pointless answers.

Alexander Wurz, Clay Regazzoni, Carlos Reutemann,

Heinz-Harald Frentzen, Derek Daly was a pointless answer,

Jean-Louis Schlesser, Jonathan Palmer,

Kazuki Nakajima, Nick Heidfeld, Nico Hulkenberg,

Pastor Maldonado, Thierry Boutsen, Valtteri Bottas.

All of those were pointless. Very well done if you said any of those.

Serena Williams now. Again, a few big names up here.

She beat Vera Zvonarevain in the final in 2010.

You could have had Radwanska, Hantuchova, Dementieva...

lots of other answers there. Let's take a look at Mark Williams.

This is the hardest one of the lot, really, really tough.

Very well done if you got any of these. Drew Henry, the Scot.

Fergal O'Brien, beat him in the quarterfinals.

Two of the more controversial figures in world snooker,

Quinten Hannd and Stephen Lee.

Also you could have had John Reid and Stuart Pettman.

Very well done at home if you got a pointless answer.

Terrific performance in the studio.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Well, Katie and Mark, it's been great having you here.

We have to say goodbye to you now, but very sadly,

Katie and Mark didn't win the jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £5,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.