Episode 5 Pointless


Episode 5

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

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the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hello, my name's Mike, this is my buddy Kyle, and we're from Jersey.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Hubert, and this is my friend Charan.

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I'm from Bedford, and she's from Wolverhampton.

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-Couple number three.

-I'm Jennifer, this is my daughter Naomi.

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Naomi's from Derby, and I'm from South Derbyshire.

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And, finally, couple number four.

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Hi, my name's Alex, this is my wife, Claire,

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and we're from Hertfordshire.

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And these are today's contestants. APPLAUSE

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Well, thank you very much, all of you.

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We will get to chat to each of you later throughout the show as

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it goes along. So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He's not just a wise man, he's three wise men,

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the stable, the manger, the oxen, the bison and the star

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all rolled into one.

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And the baby. It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

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-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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-Afternoon. Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

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Now, just one returning pair from the last show

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- that's Hubert and Charan - are back with us.

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Got through to the head-to-head last time.

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Welcome to our three new pairs as well.

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Now, I would say we've got some great questions today,

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but a little secret on Pointless -

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I always get the questions just before the show starts.

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Now, we're really cutting it fine this time, cos I haven't yet got them,

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but the second you start talking to people,

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I know that somebody will come, when the camera's off,

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and pass me the questions, so we'll carry on anyway.

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That is amazing. Somebody...

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-Bam ba ba!

-ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

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What about that? What about that? APPLAUSE

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-Whoa!

-Boy, let me tell you, we've got some questions for you today.

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-This first one!

-Very exciting indeed. Wow!

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-Well, thank you, Richard.

-Pleasure.

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Now, as you'll have gathered, Andy and Helen didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another

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£1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at a majestic £5,250.

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There we go.

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Look at that. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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OK, all you have to remember is this - the pair with the highest

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score at the end of each round will be eliminated. That is it.

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Oh, and there is no conferring in the first two rounds.

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Thank you very much. Our first category today is...

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There we are.

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Can you all decide who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second in your pair?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many countries

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that are more forested than the UK as they could.

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As many countries more forested than the UK. Richard.

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Yeah, 12% of the UK is officially forested.

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There is 135 countries in the world which have

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a greater percentage of land forested than the UK.

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We're looking for any of those 135 countries, please.

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That's according to the UN.

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As always, by country,

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we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

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Thanks very much indeed. Now, Mike, welcome to Pointless.

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Great to have you here, from Jersey. What keeps you busy in Jersey, Mike?

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I am an administration and systems manager at a legal practice.

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Right you are. What are your hobbies, Mike?

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I play golf, play some squash.

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Living in Jersey, I like to barbecue a lot.

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Don't rub it in, come on. LAUGHTER

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-Now, forestry.

-Yes.

-Forestry.

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Countries that have more forestry than the UK.

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Erm... I'm going to go for Laos.

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Laos, says Mike. Let's see if Laos is right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Laos.

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It's right.

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Yes! A pointless answer. APPLAUSE

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How Laos can you go? And the answer is no Laos-er than that.

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It adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £5,500,

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it scores you nothing,

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apart from the enormous respect of all your peers, so very well done.

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-Laos.

-That's brilliant, yeah, what a start to the show.

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Laos, or "Louse", some people would call it.

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What sort of percentage of that country do you think is forested?

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-90?

-It's a lot. 68%. 68%.

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-What a start.

-What a start. What a start to the show.

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Thanks very much indeed. Mike, congratulations.

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Hubert. Now, then.

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We discovered last time that you are studying IT.

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What are your hobbies, Hubert? What do you like getting up to?

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Radio, music, listening to podcasts, and making them, and books.

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-Very good. And you said you did some radio work.

-Yup.

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Where do you do that?

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Well, I have an online page where I put my shows up,

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but I also do shows for an internet radio station

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that I've been volunteering for for nearly three years.

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Very nice. Now, Hubert.

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-Forested countries.

-Well, not the best at it.

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I have been to a few forests in a few countries.

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I'm going to go for Jamaica.

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Jamaica, says Hubert. OK, let's see if Jamaica is right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jamaica.

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It's right.

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It's another pointless answer! Look at that, very well done indeed,

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Hubert! Fantastic. APPLAUSE

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That adds another £250 to today's jackpot,

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taking the total up to 5,750.

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It scores you nothing, and earns you huge kudos.

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Brilliant, Hubert. Very well done.

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Yeah, as in the joke, "My wife recently went to a heavily forested country."

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"Jamaica?" "Yes."

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LAUGHTER

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-31% of Jamaica is forested.

-31%.

-There you go.

-Excellent.

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Jennifer, welcome to Pointless. Wonderful to have you here.

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-What do you get up to, Jennifer?

-I'm retired. I'm a retired nurse.

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What have you taken up since retiring?

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Well, I'm always keen on sewing, even when I was working,

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-so that's what I've focused on, really.

-Sewing.

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I'm doing a course, a distance-learning course.

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And what kind of sewing is this? Embroidery, or...?

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It's embroidery, yeah. Mixed media, really, as well.

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-Sort of painting, as well as stitch, so, yeah.

-Excellent. There we are.

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-Good for you. Jennifer, how are we liking this forestation?

-Yes...

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OK, well, I can't follow these two, I don't think, for pointless.

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-Oh, imagine if you did, though.

-Yeah, but I don't think it's likely.

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-135 countries more wooded than us.

-Yes. Yes, I know.

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Erm, I'm going to go for Burma.

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Burma. OK, Burma, says Jennifer. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Burma.

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It's right.

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Is it going to be another pointless answer, I wonder? Down it goes.

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Oh, 2! Look at that, Jennifer!

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APPLAUSE 2 for Burma.

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-Myanmar.

-2 points, Jennifer, what are you playing at(?)

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Very good answer, yeah, Burma or Myanmar. 48% forested.

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There we are. Our high-scorers, Jennifer and Naomi, there, on 2.

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LAUGHTER Claire, welcome to the show.

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-Thank you.

-Great to have you here. Here from Royston in Hertfordshire.

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What do you get up to, Claire?

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I'm a legal PA. I work for a shipping-law firm in London.

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And what do you like getting up to when you're not working, Claire?

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Well, we've got a one-year-old at home,

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-so that takes up a lot of spare time.

-Right, yes, I'll say.

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But I try and play netball as well,

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go swimming, just general sporting stuff, really.

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Have you done netball all the way through? Did you have a break?

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No, I started playing netball for a club when I was six,

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so I've played for, like, 30 years, so...

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You must be really good at it!

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-Well, I'm tall, which helps, so...

-There we are.

-Yeah.

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Now, how are we feeling about forestry and countries

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and the relative woodland area to the UK?

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-I'm going to try for Bolivia.

-Bolivia.

-Yep.

-Bolivia, says Claire.

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Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bolivia.

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It's another correct answer.

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3! APPLAUSE

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There we are. Very well done indeed, Claire. 3 for Bolivia.

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Very well played.

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-These scores are going through the roof now, aren't they?

-I know.

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-I know.

-What percentage of Bolivia do you think is forested?

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Erm, I'm looking at the audience's faces. 63.

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-You said 63?

-Mm.

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De-dum, de-dum, de-dum. Higher or lower than 63?

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SOME: Higher. MOST: Lower.

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They say lower, and they're right, it's 53.

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-Ah!

-You got beaten by the audience.

-There we are. Thank you very much.

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Thank you, audience. We are halfway through the round.

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Let's take a look at those scores.

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0 is the best score of that pass.

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Very well done, Mike and Hubert.

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Extremely strong performance from this end of the row.

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Then it just turns into a disaster area! We go up to 2,

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where we find Jennifer and Naomi, and all the way up to 3,

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where we find Claire and Alex.

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So, yes, I'd say it's between Alex and Naomi, but who knows?

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Anything can happen in this next pass.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Let's come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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So, Alex. What do you do, Alex?

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I'm an applications manager for a law firm in the City.

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Basically, I just make sure the lawyers have access to their

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time recording cases, that kind of thing.

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Right you are. And what do you like getting up to, Alex?

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I like cycling, I do a lot of charity races.

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Play guitar. Getting worse, but then again...

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Getting worse? It's not... It's meant to go the other way!

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The more you play the worse you get?

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Yeah, but the older I get, I'm getting a bit slower.

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-Ah. Right, Alex, there you are on 3.

-Yeah.

-Our high-scorers, by the way.

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We need a low score from you. What are you going to go for?

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I've no idea if there's any trees or anything in this country,

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but I'll go for El Salvador.

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-Sounds like there are going to be trees there, surely.

-Potentially.

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No red line for you,

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because you are our embarrassingly high scorers there.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said El Salvador. Is it right?

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It is right.

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1! Look at that, very well done indeed, Alex.

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1, taking your total up to 4. APPLAUSE

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-Very well played indeed. El Salvador.

-Well played, Alex.

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This is getting quite nerve-racking now, isn't it? All these low scores.

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-Little bit.

-Percentage of El Salvador that's forested?

-49%.

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49% - higher or lower?

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MOST: Lower. FEW: Higher.

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Right, I need you all to talk amongst yourselves,

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and come up with one answer.

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-I think they're saying lower.

-Yeah.

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-14%.

-GASPS

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Very close. Very close to the UK. 14%, El Salvador.

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-I know, we think of it as a forested country.

-You do!

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I never think of El Salvador without thinking of branches.

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The forests of El Salvador.

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Walking through El Salvador is like this. Pyoing! Twang! Thwock!

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-Ah, there we go. Anyway, how wrong we are. Naomi.

-Hello.

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Hello, welcome to the show. Naomi, what do you do?

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-I'm an occupational therapist.

-Very good. And what are your interests?

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Well, pretty much similar to my mum.

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I like sewing, and I belong to a band. I play the clarinet.

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-Play... What's the band?

-It's Derby Hospital's band.

-Fantastic.

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-So we raise money for charities.

-How big's the band?

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-There's about 35 of us, when we're at capacity.

-That's pretty good.

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-Excellent. Now, Naomi, the pressure is on. It really is!

-I know!

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-I can't believe this.

-Now, nobody has scored higher than 3.

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Really have got no idea, and so I'm just going to plump for Luxembourg.

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Last time someone plumped for Luxembourg, a few shows back,

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it turned out to be a pointless answer.

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Let us find out now how we do with Luxembourg.

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Here is your red line. It's...

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I mean, there it is, right at the bottom of the column.

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Get below that, you're into Round Two.

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How many people said Luxembourg?

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It's right.

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1! APPLAUSE

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Very well done indeed. 1 for Luxembourg,

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taking your total up to 3. Very well done.

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-This is fun. I'm loving this round!

-Same here.

-Percentage?

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Oh, Luxembourg? 15.

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-Higher or lower?

-MOST: Higher.

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-Clearly. 33%.

-No. I just don't know anything about Luxembourg.

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-You're losing 3-0 to the audience.

-I know, I know.

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There are more of them.

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Thank you, Richard.

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Now, then, Charan. Welcome back.

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We discovered last time you are also studying IT. What do you like

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getting up to when you're not doing that?

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Reading, probably.

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Do you have a favourite author,

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or are there any particular type of books you like reading?

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-Harry Potter.

-Excellent. Harry Potter. Now, then, Charan.

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What about this woodland thing? Hubert has set you up so well there.

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-But it's going to go all ker-plunk.

-No, it's not. It's not.

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I have complete faith in you, Charan.

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What are you going to go for?

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-Congo.

-Congo...

-Yeah.

-..says Charan. OK, here is your red line.

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It's higher than the last red line, but only by about an inch.

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Your target is 3, so it's right at the bottom of the column.

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How many of our 100 people said the Congo?

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It's right.

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Down it goes...

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1! Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

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1 for the Congo, taking your total up to 1.

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-How good is this?

-Amazing.

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It's amazing, but also, we don't have many forests, do we?

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-It turns out.

-No.

-Percentage of the Congo?

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-ALEXANDER SIGHS

-Come on, you've got to win one.

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-Congo... I am thinking the Congo - 57%.

-57, that's...

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Oh, you've asked them a question there. Higher or lower?

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MOST: Higher.

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Higher, they all say, and they are right to say higher. It's 66%.

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-That's 4-0.

-How much?

-66%.

-66.

-You were close.

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For the first time, yeah.

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There we are. Thank you, Richard. Thank you.

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Now, Kyle, welcome.

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Good to have you here, from Jersey also.

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What do you do in Jersey?

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Much like Mike, I play a lot of golf, squash, I'm a keen runner.

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-OK, do you have a career as well?

-Yeah, I won't...

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I won't drag it out too much, but I'm an accountant.

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I thought you were going to say, "I am an international playboy."

0:14:510:14:54

No, no. That would be good.

0:14:540:14:56

That would be good. Now, Kyle, there you are, on 0.

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The high-scorers, over there, Alex and Claire,

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slightly embarrassingly, on 4.

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-Your target is 3.

-Yup. I'm going to plump for Cambodia.

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Cambodia, says Kyle.

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We're looking for countries more forested than the UK. Cambodia.

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Here is your red line.

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Get below that with Cambodia, you are through to the next round.

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How many people said Cambodia?

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It's right.

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You've done it!

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It's another pointless answer! Very, very well done indeed.

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APPLAUSE

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Double pointless on that first podium there.

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That adds another £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up

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to £6,000, scores you nothing, leaves your total at nothing.

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Fantastic work on podium one.

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Wow, and eight points between eight players, as well. That's terrific.

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Must be close to a new record.

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Percentage of Cambodia that's forested?

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-Somewhere over halfway. 55.

-55. Higher or lower?

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MOST: Higher.

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-57. 57, it was.

-LAUGHTER

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Oh, I'm getting good at this!

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-Thank you.

-If we just play seven or eight more rounds of this, you'll...

0:16:020:16:07

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

0:16:080:16:11

There's quite a few out there.

0:16:110:16:13

Angola.

0:16:130:16:14

There's Cambodia and Laos, neighbours, of course,

0:16:140:16:16

and both scored you pointless answers, gents.

0:16:160:16:18

Well played.

0:16:180:16:20

Micronesia is 92% forest. North Korea say they are. Who knows?

0:16:200:16:26

Palau, very heavily forested, an old Pointless favourite.

0:16:260:16:30

Seychelles, Slovenia, Zambia.

0:16:300:16:33

Another Pointless favourite, Central African Republic,

0:16:330:16:35

would have scored you 1 point.

0:16:350:16:36

Let's take a look at the top three.

0:16:360:16:38

Not too many obvious answers here, but these three were Russia,

0:16:380:16:42

-would have scored you 41.

-Mm-hm.

0:16:420:16:45

Canada, 49, and top of the shop, Brazil,

0:16:450:16:47

-which would have scored you 55.

-There you are.

0:16:470:16:50

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

0:16:500:16:52

I'm afraid the pair we have to say goodbye to is Alex and Claire.

0:16:520:16:54

I'm so sorry.

0:16:540:16:56

Everyone's done so well, there's nothing wrong with that score.

0:16:560:16:58

-So close.

-SO close.

0:16:580:16:59

It seems ridiculous to be sending you home, but anyway,

0:16:590:17:02

we will see you again next time.

0:17:020:17:03

Look forward to that very much indeed. Meantime, thanks so much.

0:17:030:17:05

-Alex and Claire.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

0:17:050:17:08

APPLAUSE

0:17:080:17:09

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

0:17:090:17:12

And so we are down to three pairs. Obviously, at the end of this round

0:17:170:17:20

we'll be saying goodbye to another pair, but very good.

0:17:200:17:22

Between our three pairs, three pointless answers,

0:17:220:17:25

two of them on that near podium, so hats off to you all.

0:17:250:17:29

Best of luck for this round. Our category for Round Two today is...

0:17:290:17:33

It's Adaptations.

0:17:350:17:36

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

0:17:360:17:38

who's going to go second?

0:17:380:17:39

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:17:390:17:42

OK, and the question concerns...

0:17:450:17:48

Authors and Directors. Richard.

0:17:510:17:53

On each board, we're going to name six pairs of people.

0:17:530:17:56

One is an author, and one is a director who adapted one of

0:17:560:18:00

that author's books into a film.

0:18:000:18:02

We need the name of the book that the director turned into a film.

0:18:020:18:05

Wonderful. Thank you very much indeed, so here is our first board

0:18:050:18:09

of authors, directors, and dates.

0:18:090:18:11

I'll read those all one last time.

0:18:300:18:32

OK. Kyle.

0:18:470:18:49

-What would you like to go for?

-Erm...

0:18:500:18:52

I'm going to plump for the third one down,

0:18:530:18:56

-and say Dracula.

-Dracula, says Kyle.

0:18:560:19:00

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dracula.

0:19:000:19:03

It's right.

0:19:050:19:06

67, that's a big score. APPLAUSE

0:19:080:19:12

Better than 100, though.

0:19:120:19:14

Yeah, from 1897, the novel Dracula, by Bram Stoker.

0:19:140:19:18

Used to write on the Daily Telegraph.

0:19:180:19:20

There you are. Thank you very much. Now, then, Charan.

0:19:200:19:23

What would you like to go for?

0:19:250:19:27

Harper Lee.

0:19:270:19:28

It's the most obvious one, but I have no clue about the others.

0:19:280:19:33

-And what's the book?

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

0:19:330:19:35

To Kill A Mockingbird, says Charan. Let's see if that's right.

0:19:350:19:38

Let's see how many of our 100 people said To Kill A Mockingbird.

0:19:380:19:42

36. APPLAUSE

0:19:480:19:51

Not bad at all, Charan. 36.

0:19:510:19:53

Yeah, the book has sold 40 million copies worldwide

0:19:530:19:56

since publication, and the film won three Oscars.

0:19:560:20:00

The follow-up, Go Set A Watchman,

0:20:000:20:01

-contained some very controversial... new information.

-Yeah.

0:20:010:20:05

A lot of people have chosen not to...not to acknowledge the new information,

0:20:050:20:09

haven't they?

0:20:090:20:10

-Yeah. Exactly right.

-Let's not go any further into it.

0:20:100:20:13

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Spoiler alert, they call that.

-Indeed. Thank you, Richard.

0:20:130:20:17

Now, Naomi, that board is all yours.

0:20:170:20:19

If you wanted to, you could fill in all those books for us.

0:20:190:20:22

If I wanted to, but I can't, I'm afraid!

0:20:220:20:24

So, I'm going to go for Jane Austen, Joe Wright,

0:20:260:20:29

and I think it's Pride And Prejudice.

0:20:290:20:31

Pride And Prejudice, says Naomi. Let's see if that's right.

0:20:310:20:33

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Pride And Prejudice.

0:20:330:20:37

It's right. 67 is our high score,

0:20:380:20:41

you pass it. 36 is our low score,

0:20:410:20:43

you pass it.

0:20:430:20:44

27. Very well done indeed, Naomi. APPLAUSE

0:20:440:20:48

Well played, Naomi.

0:20:500:20:51

Yeah, published anonymously in 1813, Pride And Prejudice.

0:20:510:20:54

Now, I suspect you might be quite good on this board.

0:20:540:20:57

I could be wrong. Anthony Burgess/Stanley Kubrick?

0:20:570:21:00

-A Clockwork Orange.

-It is A Clockwork Orange.

0:21:000:21:02

34 for that. Raymond Chandler/Howard Hawks?

0:21:020:21:05

-The Big Sleep.

-It is The Big Sleep.

0:21:050:21:08

And that would have scored 6. And Chuck Palahniuk and David Fincher?

0:21:080:21:12

BEEPS INDECISIVELY No.

0:21:120:21:14

-Fight Club.

-Fight Club.

-Fight Club.

-There you are.

0:21:140:21:16

And that would have scored 7, so The Big Sleep, actually,

0:21:160:21:18

the best answer on that board. Well done if you said that.

0:21:180:21:20

Very good. Thanks, Richard.

0:21:200:21:21

OK, well, we're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

0:21:210:21:25

27, very well done indeed, Naomi, the best score of that pass.

0:21:250:21:27

Then up to 36, where we find Hubert and Charan. Well done, Charan.

0:21:270:21:30

And then up to 67, Kyle and Mike, so Mike,

0:21:300:21:34

a low score from you might be enough to keep you in the game.

0:21:340:21:36

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

0:21:360:21:38

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:21:380:21:40

OK, we're going to put six more pairs up on the board,

0:21:430:21:47

and here they are. Our authors and directors.

0:21:470:21:49

I'm going to read those all one last time.

0:22:060:22:08

There we are.

0:22:220:22:23

Remember, we're looking for the titles of the books that were

0:22:230:22:26

made into films by these directors.

0:22:260:22:27

Jennifer, let's see if we can keep up this low-scoring streak

0:22:270:22:31

on that far podium.

0:22:310:22:32

I'm going to go for the most obvious one, and say, for the top one,

0:22:320:22:36

-Frankenstein.

-Frankenstein. Frankenstein, says Jennifer.

0:22:360:22:41

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that. There is your red line.

0:22:410:22:43

If you get below that, you're into the head-to-head.

0:22:430:22:46

It's right.

0:22:490:22:50

56 for Frankenstein, taking your total up to 83.

0:22:520:22:56

APPLAUSE

0:22:560:22:59

Yeah, it was published when she was 20, Frankenstein,

0:22:590:23:01

and the film was actually called Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

0:23:010:23:04

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Hubert. 46 is your target.

-Oh, great.

0:23:040:23:09

46 or lower gets you into the head-to-head for the second time.

0:23:090:23:14

Er, the Danny Boyle one, sounds like a James Bond title to me.

0:23:140:23:18

Not good on my Bond movies. I'm going to go...

0:23:180:23:20

-Man With The Goldfinger.

-Man With The Goldfinger.

0:23:200:23:23

Man With The Goldfinger, says Hubert.

0:23:230:23:25

OK, here is your red line.

0:23:250:23:27

You have to get below that with Man With The Goldfinger.

0:23:270:23:30

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:23:300:23:34

(Great. If this is Bond...)

0:23:340:23:35

Oh, I'm sorry, Hubert.

0:23:370:23:39

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points...

0:23:390:23:41

-I thought it would be.

-..takes your total up to 136.

0:23:410:23:44

However, if they are looking for a title for the next James Bond film,

0:23:440:23:47

I think you may have just come up with it. You think?

0:23:470:23:50

Yeah. Absolutely, yeah.

0:23:500:23:52

-That'll be your first outing as Bond, maybe.

-Oh, do you think?

-Yeah.

0:23:520:23:56

-It's about time!

-It is about time, isn't it?

0:23:560:23:58

Do you think Barbara Broccoli watches the show?

0:23:580:24:01

-Babs?

-Of course she does.

-Yeah. Oh, you could be my nemesis.

0:24:010:24:05

Oh, I would like to be your nemesis.

0:24:050:24:07

Yeah, I would like to play that role.

0:24:070:24:09

-I would like it, finally, if Bond lost as well.

-Yeah.

0:24:090:24:11

If I was the first one to kill him.

0:24:110:24:12

-ALEXANDER GASPS

-Imagine that.

0:24:120:24:15

Imagine if I had you tied up on a table - just go with me - with

0:24:150:24:18

one of those lasers, and instead of just explaining my plan, I just...

0:24:180:24:21

MIMICS GUNSHOT

0:24:210:24:23

YAWNS Bit of a waste of a laser, isn't it?

0:24:230:24:25

-Hmm?

-Using the gun AND the laser.

0:24:250:24:27

-No, I've got a laser cos I'm hanging some pictures later.

-Oh, I see.

0:24:270:24:31

I want to get them straight.

0:24:310:24:33

Fantastic. Now, Mike.

0:24:330:24:36

You're on 67.

0:24:360:24:37

You need to score 68 or less to get through to the head-to-head.

0:24:370:24:41

68 or less. Do you fancy talking us through the board, Mike?

0:24:410:24:44

Er, I don't know any. Erm...

0:24:440:24:47

I'm just going to punt for a Spielberg movie.

0:24:480:24:52

ET?

0:24:520:24:54

You're saying ET for the Spielberg one? OK, 1975, ET, says Mike.

0:24:540:24:59

There is your red line.

0:24:590:25:00

You have to get below that red line to go through to the head-to-head.

0:25:000:25:04

Let's see if ET's right.

0:25:040:25:05

No, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points,

0:25:080:25:11

takes your total up to 167.

0:25:110:25:13

Yeah, not ET, I'm afraid.

0:25:130:25:15

There's some fairly big scorers on this board.

0:25:150:25:17

Peter Benchley, Steven Spielberg...

0:25:170:25:19

-Is Jaws.

-Jaws, yeah.

0:25:190:25:21

1975. That would have scored you 34.

0:25:210:25:24

The Irvine Welsh/Danny Boyle film...

0:25:240:25:26

-Trainspotting.

-It's Trainspotting.

0:25:260:25:29

Would have scored 31 points.

0:25:290:25:31

Thomas Harris?

0:25:310:25:32

-The Silence Of The Lambs.

-The Silence Of The Lambs, yep.

0:25:320:25:34

Would have scored 16.

0:25:340:25:36

Won in all five of the top Academy Award categories, that film.

0:25:360:25:40

Roald Dahl/Tim Burton?

0:25:400:25:41

-Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

-Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

0:25:410:25:44

And that's 34, and the only low scorer on the board,

0:25:440:25:46

Edith Wharton and Martin Scorsese...

0:25:460:25:48

-The Age Of Innocence.

-The Age Of Innocence. 6 points for that.

0:25:480:25:51

She won the Pulitzer Prize for the novel,

0:25:510:25:53

now known as the prize for fiction. First woman ever to do so.

0:25:530:25:55

Very well done if you said The Age Of Innocence.

0:25:550:25:57

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:25:570:25:58

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair who are

0:25:580:26:01

heading home, with their high score of 167, it's Mike and Kyle.

0:26:010:26:04

Oh, you were handed one there by Hubert, but I'm afraid...

0:26:040:26:08

Did you know any of those films?

0:26:080:26:09

Obviously, you did once we'd told you them.

0:26:090:26:11

-Yeah, of course. All of them.

-Yeah. Ah, well.

0:26:110:26:13

Ah, well, Mike and Kyle, we'll see you again next time,

0:26:130:26:16

and I'm sure you'll go much further, but meantime,

0:26:160:26:18

thanks very much for playing. Mike and Kyle.

0:26:180:26:19

APPLAUSE

0:26:190:26:21

But for the remaining two pairs it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:26:220:26:26

Congratulations, Jennifer and Naomi, Hubert and Charan,

0:26:300:26:33

you are now one step closer to the final, and a chance to play

0:26:330:26:36

for that massive jackpot, which currently stands at £6,000.

0:26:360:26:39

There it is. APPLAUSE

0:26:390:26:42

Well, the big news is you're now allowed to confer before you

0:26:450:26:47

give your answers, which is very exciting indeed.

0:26:470:26:50

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:26:500:26:52

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:26:520:26:55

APPLAUSE

0:26:550:26:58

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

0:27:010:27:05

-The Letter W.

-Simply five clues now to facts involving the letter W.

0:27:060:27:11

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:27:110:27:14

-Wow.

-Yeah?

-Amazing.

-How about that?

0:27:140:27:16

I've got 25 more like this, just so you know.

0:27:160:27:18

LAUGHTER

0:27:180:27:20

OK, let's reveal our five facts about W. Here they come.

0:27:200:27:25

There we are. I'm going to read those one more time.

0:27:430:27:45

There we are.

0:27:580:27:59

Jennifer and Naomi, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:27:590:28:03

There's a couple that we think we know,

0:28:050:28:07

but we're going to go for the second one down, the number on a standard

0:28:070:28:10

telephone keypad which contains the letter W, and we think it's 9.

0:28:100:28:14

9. 9 contains the letter W.

0:28:140:28:17

OK. Now, then, Hubert and Charan.

0:28:170:28:21

Well, we're going to go for the unit of power, and I believe that's watt.

0:28:230:28:28

OK, you're going to go for watt. OK, so we have 9 and we have watt.

0:28:280:28:33

Jennifer and Naomi said the number 9. Let's see if that's right.

0:28:330:28:36

Let's see how many of our 100 people said 9.

0:28:360:28:39

It's right.

0:28:420:28:45

9 is the keypad represented by the letter W on

0:28:450:28:48

a standard telephone.

0:28:480:28:50

Hubert and Charan are saying that watt is the SI unit of power

0:28:500:28:55

represented by the letter W.

0:28:550:28:56

Let's see how many of our 100 people said watt.

0:28:560:28:59

It's right.

0:29:020:29:04

Oh, 73. APPLAUSE

0:29:040:29:06

So, well done, Jennifer and Naomi. After one question, you are up 1-0.

0:29:060:29:10

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

0:29:100:29:12

The middle name of George W Bush is Walker.

0:29:120:29:15

Would have scored you 8.

0:29:150:29:16

The Morse-code signal used to represent the letter W

0:29:160:29:20

is dot dash dash.

0:29:200:29:23

That would have scored you 3 points, a terrific answer,

0:29:230:29:25

-and the Nato phonetic alphabet...

-Whiskey.

-It is whiskey.

0:29:250:29:28

Might have known you'd know that.

0:29:280:29:30

And that's 37 points,

0:29:300:29:31

so dot dash dash the best answer there.

0:29:310:29:33

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

0:29:330:29:35

Hubert and Charan get to answer it first,

0:29:350:29:37

but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:29:370:29:40

It concerns...

0:29:400:29:41

Elements Whose Symbols Begin With Different Letters, Richard.

0:29:460:29:49

We're simply going to give you now the symbols for five

0:29:490:29:51

chemical elements. We just need you to tell us the elements, please.

0:29:510:29:54

OK, let's reveal our five symbols, and here they come.

0:29:540:29:57

I'll read those again.

0:30:050:30:06

So, Hubert and Charan.

0:30:120:30:15

OK, I think K is potassium.

0:30:160:30:21

OK, potassium for K.

0:30:210:30:24

Potassium. Now, then, Jennifer and Naomi.

0:30:240:30:27

What would you like to go for?

0:30:270:30:29

-Do you want to talk us through that board?

-No, not really. I mean...

0:30:290:30:32

-Go for the top one.

-Don't know if you know any more than that...

0:30:320:30:35

No, no.

0:30:350:30:36

We thought that K was potassium, so we're going to go for Fe and iron.

0:30:360:30:40

-Fe, iron.

-Yep.

-OK, so we have potassium and we have iron.

0:30:400:30:43

Hubert and Charan went for potassium.

0:30:430:30:45

Let's see if that's right for K.

0:30:450:30:46

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:30:460:30:49

It's right.

0:30:510:30:52

36 for K. APPLAUSE

0:30:560:30:59

Meanwhile, Jennifer and Naomi have gone for Fe for iron.

0:31:010:31:04

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said iron.

0:31:040:31:08

It's right.

0:31:100:31:11

Ooh, 69! APPLAUSE

0:31:130:31:15

69. Very well done indeed, Hubert and Charan, back in the game.

0:31:150:31:18

After two questions, it's 1-1.

0:31:180:31:20

Yeah, well played. Fe, of course, is only for new iron.

0:31:200:31:24

It's Ne, old iron.

0:31:240:31:25

LAUGHTER Oh, right!

0:31:250:31:28

Let's take a look at the rest of these... I just thought of that.

0:31:280:31:30

I just thought of that, and I thought I would say it.

0:31:300:31:33

Hg is mercury. Would have scored you 20 points.

0:31:330:31:38

-Would have seen you into the final. Pb...

-Lead.

-..is lead.

0:31:380:31:41

Would have scored you 51.

0:31:410:31:44

And Sb is the best answer on the board - antimony.

0:31:440:31:48

Would have scored you 5 points. Very well done if you said that.

0:31:490:31:52

Thanks very much indeed. Right, so it comes down to a third question.

0:31:520:31:55

Whoever gets this one goes through to the final,

0:31:550:31:57

so best of luck to both pairs.

0:31:570:31:59

Our third question this afternoon is all about...

0:31:590:32:03

It's just nice, isn't it? All about pandas. Richard.

0:32:050:32:08

That's nice, isn't it? Yeah, five clues now to facts about pandas.

0:32:080:32:11

We just need you to give us the most obscure answer, please.

0:32:110:32:13

Very best of luck to both teams.

0:32:130:32:15

OK, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

0:32:150:32:18

Well, I'm sure it died of natural causes first!

0:32:450:32:48

I'm going to read those again.

0:32:490:32:50

There we are. Jennifer and Naomi, we come to you first.

0:33:100:33:14

-The second one down is Soo.

-Yeah.

0:33:150:33:18

And the third one is...

0:33:180:33:19

-The last one is Chi Chi.

-So, which one do you want to go for?

0:33:200:33:25

-It's a risk, but... We're going to go...

-OK.

0:33:250:33:28

I'M going to go for a risky one. The bottom one is Chi Chi.

0:33:280:33:33

Chi Chi. Chi Chi, say Jennifer and Naomi. Now, Hubert and Charan.

0:33:330:33:39

The only one I know is food.

0:33:390:33:40

Yeah, I was going to say, I only know the obvious one.

0:33:400:33:42

I don't know any of them apart from the food,

0:33:420:33:44

and I'm afraid that one's...

0:33:440:33:45

-OK, we're going to have to go for the panda food. Bamboo.

-Bamboo.

0:33:450:33:50

Bamboo, the fast-growing grass, say Hubert and Charan.

0:33:500:33:54

So, Jennifer and Naomi have gone for Chi Chi,

0:33:540:33:57

the panda bought by London Zoo in 1958.

0:33:570:34:00

Let's see if Chi Chi is right.

0:34:000:34:01

It is right.

0:34:040:34:06

Oh, that was a good punt to take, Jennifer. Chi Chi takes us down

0:34:060:34:10

to 20. APPLAUSE

0:34:100:34:13

Very well done indeed. Now, Hubert and Charan have gone for bamboo.

0:34:140:34:19

Let's see if bamboo is right for the panda's diet.

0:34:190:34:22

How many of our 100 people said it?

0:34:220:34:23

It is right.

0:34:260:34:27

Ooh, 90! 90 for bamboo. APPLAUSE

0:34:270:34:31

Very well done, Jennifer and Naomi.

0:34:310:34:33

That means after three questions you are through to the final 2-1.

0:34:330:34:36

That's very good work, Jennifer.

0:34:360:34:37

It's lovely when something comes into your head, and you think,

0:34:370:34:39

"Now, hold on - is this something I know, or am I making this up?"

0:34:390:34:42

So fair play to you for going for it as well.

0:34:420:34:44

The name of the first giant panda to leave China was Su Lin.

0:34:440:34:49

Su Lin, and that would have scored you 1 point, and that leads you

0:34:490:34:52

to the answer to the second one, the panda puppet - Soo.

0:34:520:34:55

She would have scored you 54 points.

0:34:570:34:59

She once won an episode of Weakest Link,

0:34:590:35:00

beating Roland Rat in the final, Soo.

0:35:000:35:03

-That's...

-It was a puppet special.

0:35:030:35:06

And the conservation organisation is the WWF,

0:35:060:35:08

and that would have scored 67.

0:35:080:35:11

Thanks, Richard.

0:35:110:35:12

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

0:35:120:35:15

I'm afraid this time it's Hubert and Charan.

0:35:150:35:17

You've done so well,

0:35:170:35:18

fantastic consecutive head-to-head appearances.

0:35:180:35:21

Really good scoring throughout. It's been great having you on the show.

0:35:210:35:24

Thank you so much for playing. Hubert and Charan.

0:35:240:35:27

APPLAUSE

0:35:270:35:30

But for Jennifer and Naomi it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:300:35:34

Congratulations, Jennifer and Naomi.

0:35:370:35:38

You have fought off all the competition and you have won

0:35:380:35:41

-our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yay!

0:35:410:35:45

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:35:490:35:51

and at the end of today's show, let's not forget,

0:35:510:35:54

the jackpot is standing at an impressive £6,000.

0:35:540:35:56

APPLAUSE

0:35:560:35:58

Well done. Just first - first and only - appearance on the show.

0:36:000:36:03

I know. Don't know how that happened.

0:36:030:36:05

We started off with more forested countries than the UK,

0:36:050:36:08

and we had Burma and we had Luxembourg.

0:36:080:36:11

-Burma, I think scored 2, was that right?

-Yeah.

-Luxembourg scored 1.

0:36:110:36:15

-Yeah.

-She's always trying to outdo me.

-Well, there you are.

0:36:150:36:19

Well, as always,

0:36:190:36:20

you have to choose your category from the four we put up.

0:36:200:36:23

Today's selection looks like this.

0:36:230:36:26

-Erm... Obviously not football.

-No.

-Or opera.

-No.

0:36:340:36:38

-Want to do Dickens at the BBC?

-Yeah.

0:36:380:36:40

-We're going to go for Dickens at the BBC.

-Dickens at the BBC.

0:36:400:36:43

OK, very best of luck.

0:36:430:36:44

We are looking for the names of anyone who acted in any of

0:36:440:36:47

the following BBC TV series.

0:36:470:36:49

We're looking for anybody credited in...

0:36:490:36:52

All of those on the BBC.

0:37:030:37:04

So anyone credited for Bleak House, Little Dorrit or Oliver Twist.

0:37:040:37:08

Very best of luck.

0:37:080:37:09

There we are.

0:37:090:37:10

OK, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:37:100:37:14

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

0:37:140:37:16

to be pointless.

0:37:160:37:17

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-I think so.

0:37:170:37:19

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:37:190:37:21

Your time starts now.

0:37:210:37:23

-Do you know any of these?

-Not really.

0:37:230:37:25

-Let's have a guess at Oliver Twist, then.

-OK.

0:37:250:37:28

Just random actors or actresses.

0:37:280:37:30

Yeah, anybody.

0:37:300:37:31

Erm, I don't know. I was thinking, like, Timothy Spalding, maybe.

0:37:320:37:36

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go for him, yeah.

0:37:360:37:39

Erm... Let me think.

0:37:390:37:40

Erm... Oh, gosh.

0:37:400:37:42

Just trying to think who might have been in it.

0:37:430:37:46

-Erm...

-Just some random actors and actresses that do period dramas.

0:37:460:37:50

Let's go for...

0:37:500:37:51

..James Fox.

0:37:540:37:55

-OK, and Laurence Fox.

-Well, go on, then. Go for Laurence Fox, then.

0:37:560:37:59

No, let's go for Laurence Fox. We've seen him today.

0:37:590:38:02

-Erm, I dunno.

-Erm...

0:38:040:38:07

Dunno. Shall we go for...?

0:38:070:38:09

-Billie Piper?

-Yeah, go on, then.

-Ten seconds left.

0:38:100:38:13

Gosh, I don't really know.

0:38:170:38:18

-Can't think of any at the moment.

-No. No.

0:38:190:38:23

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

0:38:230:38:25

I now need your three answers.

0:38:250:38:27

Well, we co...

0:38:270:38:28

It's a difficult category, but we've gone for cast of Oliver Twist.

0:38:280:38:31

-OK, all three answers are from Oliver Twist?

-Yeah.

0:38:310:38:33

-Yeah, we've gone for Laurence Fox.

-Laurence Fox.

-Erm, who'd you say?

0:38:330:38:37

-Timothy Spalding.

-Timothy Spalding.

0:38:370:38:40

-Who was the other one?

-Oh...

0:38:410:38:43

-Billie Piper, wasn't it?

-Yeah, we...

-Well, that'll be nice.

0:38:430:38:45

-Nice for Laurence.

-Yeah, exactly.

0:38:450:38:48

There we are.

0:38:480:38:49

So, OK, of those three,

0:38:490:38:51

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:510:38:54

-Timothy Spalding.

-Yeah.

-Timothy Spalding we'll put last.

0:38:540:38:56

-Least likely to be pointless? BOTH:

-Billie Piper.

0:38:560:38:58

Billie Piper we'll put first.

0:38:580:39:00

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order,

0:39:000:39:02

then, and here they are.

0:39:020:39:04

We've got Billie Piper, we've got Laurence Fox,

0:39:040:39:06

and we have got Timothy Spalding.

0:39:060:39:08

Well, very best of luck.

0:39:080:39:10

Now, if one of these answers turned out to be right and pointless,

0:39:100:39:13

let's just imagine, it could happen. £6,000 would be yours, suddenly.

0:39:130:39:18

What would you do with that, Jennifer?

0:39:180:39:20

-Well, you can never have enough fabric.

-No, I was just saying...

0:39:200:39:23

I was literally just saying that to Richard.

0:39:230:39:25

Talking about his trousers, but...

0:39:250:39:28

Naomi, anything in particular you've got your eye on?

0:39:300:39:33

No, we kind of said that we'd like to do a craft business,

0:39:330:39:37

-maybe, so it might start something like that.

-That would be great.

0:39:370:39:41

-Yeah.

-I don't know how many people have set up businesses based on

0:39:410:39:43

-Pointless jackpot wins...

-No.

-..but you could be a first there.

0:39:430:39:47

So, in the first case,

0:39:470:39:48

we were looking for actors from the BBC adaptation of Oliver Twist.

0:39:480:39:53

You've gone for Billie Piper.

0:39:530:39:55

This is your least confident answer,

0:39:550:39:57

but if it's right and if it's pointless, it'll win you £6,000.

0:39:570:40:00

Let's find out how many people said Billie Piper. Is it right?

0:40:000:40:03

No, I'm afraid it's not. I'm afraid...

0:40:060:40:08

-She'd have been brilliant in that.

-Oh, yeah, she would.

0:40:080:40:10

-In any number of roles.

-She could have been.

-Nancy, maybe.

0:40:100:40:12

You never know. So, unfortunately not a pointless answer, though,

0:40:120:40:15

so only two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:40:150:40:17

Your next answer was Laurence Fox.

0:40:170:40:20

Once again, we were looking for the BBC adaptation of Oliver Twist.

0:40:200:40:23

If it's right, and pointless, it'll win you £6,000.

0:40:230:40:26

How many people said Laurence Fox?

0:40:260:40:28

No, I'm sorry.

0:40:300:40:33

I'm afraid that is incorrect as well,

0:40:330:40:35

which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

0:40:350:40:38

Timothy Spalding.

0:40:380:40:40

And we are looking for members of the cast from the BBC

0:40:400:40:44

adaptation of Oliver Twist.

0:40:440:40:46

Timothy Spalding has to be right, then it has to be pointless.

0:40:460:40:49

If it's both of those things, you win £6,000.

0:40:490:40:52

How many people said Timothy Spalding?

0:40:520:40:54

No, I'm sorry. Oh, bad luck. APPLAUSE

0:40:580:41:02

A really tough category, but you found three answers there.

0:41:020:41:06

I'm afraid none of them turned out to be correct,

0:41:060:41:08

so I'm afraid you don't win our jackpot today, of £6,000

0:41:080:41:11

- that will roll over onto the next show -

0:41:110:41:13

but we've really enjoyed having you on, and you've been brilliant

0:41:130:41:16

all the way across, right through to the final in your first appearance.

0:41:160:41:19

And you get a Pointless trophy for your trouble, so there you are.

0:41:190:41:21

Very, very well done. Jennifer and Naomi.

0:41:210:41:23

APPLAUSE

0:41:230:41:25

Yeah, Timothy Spall you're thinking of, who played Fagin, of course.

0:41:280:41:31

-Oh, yeah.

-There's only two actors who scored points in that -

0:41:310:41:33

Timothy Spall, and Tom Hardy as well, scored points for Oliver Twist.

0:41:330:41:36

There's big actors in all of these,

0:41:360:41:38

so very well done if you got any of these at home.

0:41:380:41:40

If you enjoyed any of these series,

0:41:400:41:42

you may well have got pointless answers.

0:41:420:41:44

We'll start with Bleak House.

0:41:440:41:45

All sorts of other answers.

0:41:520:41:53

Catherine Tate is in it, Dermot Crowley, Warren Clarke.

0:41:530:41:56

The only ones that scored points there - Gillian Anderson

0:41:560:41:58

would have scored you points, Johnny Vegas, Timothy West,

0:41:580:42:00

Anna Maxwell Martin, Denis Lawson and Charles Dance.

0:42:000:42:03

Everybody else was a pointless answer.

0:42:030:42:05

Well done if you said something else.

0:42:050:42:07

Cast of Little Dorrit now.

0:42:070:42:08

Again, some big actors here.

0:42:090:42:11

Alun Armstrong, who was also pointless for Bleak House.

0:42:110:42:14

Andy Serkis was in that,

0:42:140:42:16

Roy Huddersfield, Ruth Jones from Gavin & Stacey.

0:42:160:42:20

Amanda Redman was a pointless answer,

0:42:200:42:22

Eddie Marsan, Eve Myles, James Fleet, Jason Watkins,

0:42:220:42:25

Matthew Macfadyen, Sue Johnston, all sorts of pointless answers there.

0:42:250:42:30

And finally, Oliver Twist.

0:42:300:42:33

More big names here. John Sessions, a pointless answer.

0:42:330:42:35

Rob Brydon. Sarah Lancashire a pointless answer there,

0:42:350:42:38

and Sophie Okonedo.

0:42:380:42:39

As I say, only Timothy Spall and Tom Hardy scoring points there.

0:42:390:42:43

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home,

0:42:430:42:45

and sorry in the studio.

0:42:450:42:47

-That jackpot keeps going up.

-Doesn't it just?

0:42:470:42:48

Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you,

0:42:480:42:50

Jennifer and Naomi, but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

0:42:500:42:53

Thank you so much for playing.

0:42:530:42:54

Sadly, Jennifer and Naomi didn't win our jackpot today, which means

0:42:540:42:57

it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £7,000.

0:42:570:43:01

APPLAUSE

0:43:010:43:05

Join us next time to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

0:43:050:43:09

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me.

0:43:090:43:10

Goodbye.

0:43:100:43:12

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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