Episode 12 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a very warm welcome to Pointless -

the game where you are always striving for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Rupert, I'm from Nottingham,

and this is my friend Rob from Peterborough.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Clare and this is Ailise,

and we're both studying at Exeter University.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Jordan, this is my girlfriend Amber,

and we live in Plymouth.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Alan. This is my wife Heather, and we live in Lincoln.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much, all of you.

A warm welcome to the show, great to have you here.

We'll get to chat to each of you, of course,

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

As vital as a 2am kebab to a drunkard,

our very own questionable hunk of meat,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon to you.

Good afternoon.

Oh, that was a good show.

I quite like being called a questionable hunk of meat.

-That's quite fun.

-I'm here to serve.

Yes, although our kebab days, I think, are behind us now.

They are, generally, aren't they?

-Little bit, aren't they?

-Ah...

Perhaps they'll start again in our 50s.

-Yes!

-When the kids have left home.

Perhaps we'll be getting drunken kebabs again.

Yeah. I don't miss it.

You look hungry.

I am starving, but that... I can sort that out.

Lovely show last time.

Rob and Rupert join us again.

They got all the way through to the head-to-head.

A terrific performance, as well.

They played against Irene and Marika.

Let me tell you what happened to Irene and Marika after you left us.

Lovely ladies, both of them. Both very scientifically minded, as well.

They got a final question on chemistry, which they went for.

And this is entirely our fault.

As Pointless over the years, they went for three elements

that years ago would have been completely obscure.

-Yes.

-They all scored points.

They got three points, three points and two points.

I know. Wow, you all say, sadly.

But, again, we talked before, and I'm not kidding,

that Nobel Prize for chemistry for the two of us

cannot be too far away.

-I think it's within our grasp.

-Some of the stuff that we've done.

-We've done a lot.

-I'm going to nominate you.

Likewise.

LAUGHTER

-OK, that's sent.

-You misspelt my name there.

-It's fine, it's fine.

-That's fine, that's what we all call you.

Right.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, now, Irene and Marika, as you'll have gathered,

didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off rather sweetly at £2,000.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, the rule you have to remember, of course, is this.

The pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, so make sure your scores are low.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

U and N, Richard.

Yes, one of those questions that requires a little bit

of thinking time.

We're looking for any country of the world

whose usual short form name in English

contains both the letters U and N, please.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN in its own right.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Rupert. Welcome back.

Back on podium one again.

Now, we discovered last time, Rupert, that you are a nutritionist.

Yes.

Just repeat that lovely bit of advice you gave us.

Rupert's advice is 80% following a balanced diet

and then 20% letting yourself go.

That's just fabulous.

Now, balanced diet.

This is.... Just really for my sake, actually.

Just say what that is.

A balanced diet - plenty of fruit and veg, a lot of water,

and reducing foods which are high in fats, salts and sugars.

OK. Very good indeed.

-Pretty simple.

-Pretty simple.

-Yep.

-Now, Rupert, what would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for Uganda.

Uganda, says Rupert.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Uganda.

62 for Uganda.

Not bad. Gets us off to a good start.

Yeah, the U very much up front there in Uganda.

Yeah.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Ailise, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here from Exeter.

-Yes.

-And what are you studying at Exeter?

I'm studying medicine, and so is Clare.

Oh, so two medics. What year are you in?

We're both in our third year.

Do you know yet what you want to do?

I'm not entirely sure.

I think I might quite like to go into general practice,

but keeping my options open.

That's what we need. Need plenty of you.

Fantastic. What do you like doing

when you're not working hard at your medic stuff?

Going out on the South Devon coast quite a lot.

I thought it was going out on the town, I thought,

-on the lash.

-No.

On the south... Exactly.

Quite right. Beautiful, beautiful coastline there.

Fantastic. Now, what are you going to go for?

Countries with a U and an N their name.

I think I'm going to go for...

-..Honduras.

-Honduras, says Ailise.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Honduras.

It's right.

62 is our only score at this point

and you passed that quite comfortably.

Honduras now takes us way down.

Look at that.

Oh, it's not just way down, it's right to the bottom.

APPLAUSE Very well done indeed,

that's a pointless answer.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £2,250.

It scores you nothing and earns you considerable kudos.

Fabulous work, Ailise. Very well played.

-The U and the N hidden away slightly more in Honduras.

-Aren't they?

Bringing great credit on that wonderful University of Exeter.

Yes. Thank you very much, Richard.

Jordan, a warm welcome to Pointless to you.

Jordan, what keeps you busy down in Plymouth?

-I'm a youth worker.

-What sort of things do you do?

What things do you like getting up to with your youth?

With my youth. I try to get them kind of into activities.

Normally the ones I work with,

they kind of get into a little bit of trouble at school

or other things,

so I try and bring them back onto the positive side, let's say.

OK, so teamwork, things like that.

Yes, I take them to go and play football, boxing,

anything they want to do, I try to get them into doing activities.

Excellent. Good for you, Jordan.

Now, how are you feeling about our countries round?

I think I'm going to say Suriname.

Suriname.

That was one I had at the back of my mind.

Suriname. Let's see. Now, there we are, there's a case in point.

That, once upon a time...

Maybe it still is, but once upon a time,

-that was an unheard-of country.

-Suriname.

-Yes.

Let's see if it is still a low scorer.

How many of our 100 people said Suriname?

62's the high score. We passed that.

Pointless is our low score.

Look at that, 3 for Suriname.

-3.

-Very well played, Jordan.

Jordan, of course, the only person playing today

whose name is also a country.

-Yes.

-That wouldn't count.

-Luckily not.

If someone here was called Uganda...

-A, great name.

-I might change my name. I might...

When you write to the Nobel committee to nominate me

for the Nobel Prize, would you call me Honduras Osman?

-Yes.

-Excellent.

-I will. Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Heather, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Heather?

I work in care of the elderly.

How long have you been doing that?

On and off for about the last 15 years.

Right you are, and what are your hobbies, Heather?

I like knitting, I'm a big knitter.

What sort of scale of knitwear are we talking about? Or knit thing?

Anything, really.

I've just knitted my daughter and her now husband

little miniature replicas of them in their wedding gear.

That is lovely. We've had miniature replicas of us knitted.

We have. I've still got them at home.

Yes. I've still got mine, yes.

Now, Heather, what would you like to go for?

I think I'm going to go for Burkina Faso.

Burkina Faso, says Heather.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Burkina Faso.

Look at that. 3.

3 for Burkina Faso.

Its name means "The land of honest men", Burkina Faso.

It's about the same size as the UK,

but their population's four times smaller.

What about that? Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Well, the best score, Ailise, is yours. Very well done indeed.

Honduras, fantastic answer there, and a good name.

Then we travel up to 3, where we find Heather and Alan,

and where we find Jordan and Amber.

And then 62 is where we find Rupert and Rob,

our only returning pair.

Rob, there's quite a burden on your shoulders, I'm just going to say.

If anyone's shoulders can take it, though, I think yours probably can.

So, yes, we need a low score from you when we get back to you.

Very best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Alan. Remember, it's countries containing the letters U and N

that we're looking for. Alan, welcome here. What do you do?

Well, I also work in care of the elderly,

but I'm a maintenance worker in a big care home.

Right, I see. And what do you do for fun?

What are your interests?

I like reading, you know, watch a bit of telly.

Shamingly, I go and watch Luton Town every now and again,

and we particularly love stand-up comedy,

both on the telly and going to live events.

Excellent. Now, Alan, there you are. Your are on 3.

Thanks to Rupert's surprisingly high score there, 58 or less,

even before anyone else has given their second answer

will keep you in the game. So, what would you like to go for?

Again, got a few in my head, but I think I'm going to go for Guyana.

Guyana. Oh, Amber's not pleased with that.

It's not because that was her answer,

she just doesn't like Guyana.

Alan, Guyana. There is your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Guyana.

Very well done indeed.

You are through.

And down it continues to go to nothing.

Very well done indeed.

Alan, that adds another £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £2,500.

It scores you nothing, it leaves your total at 3, and well done,

Amber, because I know that would have been yours, as well.

Terrific answer, Alan, well done.

The only English-speaking country in South America, Guyana.

Funnily enough, Suriname used to be called Dutch Guyana,

so still would have been an acceptable answer.

Thank you. Now, Amber.

Oh, no.

The heartache of watching your answer being stolen

-at the last minute.

-And it was so good.

And then be rendered up and scoring nothing.

However, where one great answer is, another is sure to be in its place.

Amber, what do you do?

I'm a final year psychology student.

Very good. So, what do you do with that afterwards? What happens next?

Well, I would really like to work with young people, also,

as a rehabilitation officer,

so in a prison or a youth offenders institute.

-Very good indeed. Well, best of luck with that, that's great.

-Thank you.

Now, there you are on 3.

Again, our high scorers are still Rob and Rupert on 62.

So 58 or less get you through.

I'm going to go with South Sudan.

South Sudan, says Amber.

South Sudan. Here is your red line.

Get below this red line with South Sudan,

you're through to the next round. How many people said that?

It's right.

You're through.

Down it goes to two. That's a great answer, Amber.

Takes your total up to 5, very well done.

Terrific scoring, everyone. This is great stuff.

Yeah, one of the newest countries in the world, since 2011,

South Sudan has been a country.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Clare. Welcome.

-Also a medic.

-Yes.

-At Exeter. Also in your third year.

Do you know what you're going to go and do afterwards?

Have you worked out what it is?

I don't have as much of an idea as Ailise does.

You've got time. You've got time on your hands.

What else have you been getting up to at Exeter while you're there?

I joined the touch rugby club last year,

and it's now one of the biggest clubs in the UK, so...

-The Exeter touch rugby club?

-Yes.

-Why is that?

Because it's just a new sport in the UK now,

so it's only really starting to come about.

So everyone loves it because it's not quite so scary.

It's not as bad as contact rugby.

Yes, I bet. Now, Clare, what about that, Ailise scoring nothing?

-Yeah.

-Pretty fantastic. What would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for Burundi.

Burundi, says Clare.

Burundi, another great answer. Here is your red line.

Below that, you're into Round Two. How many people said Burundi?

It's right.

Very well done, you're through.

9 for Burundi.

Take your total up to 9.

Yes, small landlocked country in Africa.

Gained independence from Belgium in 1962.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Rob, we come to you.

Listen, I have such terrible news for you. I'm so sorry.

Even before you give your answer, you're the high scorers.

Anyway, we discovered last time that Rob is British champion,

European champion and world champion now in martial arts.

This is a mixed martial arts thing, is it?

No, it's sport martial arts, so kick boxing.

Sports martial arts. I see, that's what you call it.

So, where did you do the World Championships?

Where did that happen?

Last year, the world Championships was in Norwich.

-So I didn't have to travel too far.

-OK.

Qualified for it and got onto the British team.

Do you feel like now you can sort of relax?

You don't have to worry about it any more?

You're not going to pursue it for the next decade or so?

I might try something else if I can get good at it.

Oh. The clarinet, Rob.

-I can play the saxophone.

-You see? There we are. Go double reed.

Now, you're on 62. I'm afraid, whatever you score,

you are leaving as at the end of this round,

but what about finishing with a nice pointless answer?

OK.

So, we're going home, so I can take a wild stab in the dark

and I'll say Equatorial Guinea.

Equatorial Guinea.

Now, that was my answer.

Not that I get to give one, but that's the one I had up my sleeve.

Equatorial Guinea.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Equatorial Guinea.

It's right.

Look at that, it's a pointless answer, Rob.

What an end to the round. What an end to your Pointless career.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £2,750.

It scores you nothing, it adds nothing to your total,

and it takes nothing away

from the fact you have a high score, I'm afraid.

But what a great way to see the round off, that's fantastic.

Equatorial Guinea.

Played like the champion you are, Rob. Very well done.

There's three pointless answers, so congratulations, everybody,

but there's some more up here. Let's take a look at them.

Antigua and Barbuda.

Democratic Republic of the Congo -

it's got almost all the letters in, that has.

Dominican Republic.

There's Equatorial Guinea, Guyana and Honduras,

all on the same page, that's nice. Well done, everybody.

Couple more.

Lithuania and Saint Lucia.

Now, the top three make very interesting reading,

especially for Rupert.

Third is Hungary,

which would have scored you 21 points.

Second is the United States, which would have scored you 38.

Uganda is miles ahead on 62.

Thank you very much indeed.

We are at the end of our first round,

which means we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs.

I'm so sorry, the pair we have to say goodbye to, Rob and Rupert.

Rob, what a selfless act that was.

You left something there, a legacy for future Pointless generations,

and I'm sorry that we say goodbye to you at this stage.

It's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you so much, Rob and Rupert, superb.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And then suddenly we're down to three pairs.

Obviously, at the end of this round,

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

But welcome all of you to Round Two, best of luck.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah, I'm going to show you some pairs of clues now to people.

The surname of one is the first name of the other.

One is a scientist, one is a famous person.

It's going to be six on the first board, six on the second.

12 in all to have a go at at home.

Thank you, Richard.

Now, then, let's reveal our board of clues.

So here is our first board of six, and we have got...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we are. Clare, how much fun is this?

-Great fun.

-It's great fun.

I don't know any of them.

Honestly, all lost on me.

I'll just have to guess maybe for the first one, Francis?

Lee Francis Bacon.

Lee Francis Bacon, says Clare.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It absolutely is Lee Francis Bacon.

Exactly right.

30. You knew all along.

There we are, 30. Very well done indeed.

Yeah, absolutely. No need to panic with these ones.

You know Lee Francis, and so you know the answer.

There's loads of ones like that up there.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Amber. That's the only one I know.

-Oh, no.

-And not from Lee Francis, but from Francis Bacon.

Oh, hasten to add, yes.

OK.

I'm going to go for the third one.

-Yeah.

-And say Johnson.

William Johnson Keitel says Amber.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

If you don't know them, you don't know them.

But anyway, there you are.

It may well not be the last high score of this round.

It's incorrect, scores you 100 points.

Yeah, I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Heather, this board's all yours.

Do you feel like filling in all those common names?

Not really, no!

I know three of them up there, one that's already gone.

Alex James Watson, the fourth one down.

But I am going to go for Craig Charles Babbage,

-the bottom one.

-OK. Craig Charles Babbage says Heather.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

37.

37, not bad.

Yeah, Craig Charles and Charles Babbage.

Actually, you would have been better off

going for Alex James and James Watson.

It's a much better score, it would have scored you 13 points.

I would have thought they taught that to medics, James Watson.

I would have thought. I certainly thought they would have taught you

William Harvey. William Harvey and Harvey Keitel.

It's quite a big scorer, that one would have scored you 45.

Ronald Ross and Ross Barkley...

..would have scored you 16.

And the best answer on the board is Edgar...

-Mitchell.

-Edgar Mitchell and Mitchell Johnson.

That would have scored you 4 points.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

Clare and Ailise looking very strong at this point

with their nice low score of 30.

37 is where we find Heather and Alan,

and then 100 is where we find Amber and Jordan.

So, Jordan, who knows what's going to happen in the next pass,

but we need a low score from you whatever happens.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board of six more shared names.

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Alan, over to you.

You're our second lowest scorer, or second highest scorer,

whichever way you want to look at it. 62 is your target.

62 or less gets you in.

There's three I know for definite,

and there's one I think I know,

but I'm really not brave enough to go for it.

So I'm going to go for Humphry Davy Jones, the fourth one.

OK, Humphry Davy, Davy Jones,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that. There's your red line.

Very well done, you are through to the head-to-head.

50 is what that scores you, 87 is your total.

There is a theory, it's only a theory,

that the name Geordie comes from the fact that everywhere in the country,

miners used a Humphry Davy lamp,

apart from in the north-east where they used George Stephenson lamp.

There's a theory that that's where Geordie comes from.

There we are, thank you, Richard.

Now then, Jordan.

You know what we require from you.

A super low score.

I think I know a few of them. I'm feeling the pressure of the 100.

I'm going to try Blaise Pascal Cygan.

Blaise Pascal Cygan.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went with Blaise Pascal Cygan.

It's right.

It's a good answer, Jordan.

It's a very good answer. Look at that, down to 8.

Very well done indeed.

108 is your total.

Well played. Yeah, amongst his many abilities,

Blaise Pascal was the first person

to launch a bus service in Paris in 1662.

Horse-drawn carriages along predetermined routes.

-It's just brilliant.

-Pascal Cygan, perfectly decent footballer.

-Perfectly solid.

-There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Ailise, Ailise.

We had a pointless answer from you in the first round.

Are we going to get another lovely low score from you

in this round, I wonder. That board is all yours,

if you wanted to talk us through it and fill in any blanks.

I think the bottom one is Charles Darwin,

and I think the top one is referring to Rosalind Franklin.

So I'm going to go with Rosalind Franklin

and Franklin D Roosevelt.

Rosalind Franklin, Franklin D Roosevelt.

Here's your red line.

Get below this, you are through to the next round.

How many people said it?

It's right, and you are into the head-to-head, that's the main thing.

But down it goes to 36.

Very good, 66 is your total.

The lowest total of the round.

Very well done indeed.

Well played, Ailise, and of the ones you gave us,

actually by one point you chose the right one,

because of course you're right about Charles Darwin and Darwin Deez,

and that would have scored you 37 points.

Now, Sarah and Fleming...

-Alexander.

-Alexander.

Of course, Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin.

39 points for that.

Now this one, Higgs one day will be as famous as Darwin,

but he's not yet because he's a pointless answer.

And if you just ask people, what's his first name?

I think lots of people would have got it.

-Peter Higgs.

-Yeah. Samuel Peter, Peter Higgs.

Very well done if you got that.

Excellent. Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to

with their high score of 108, Jordan and Amber, I'm afraid it is you.

But we'll see you again next time,

-when I'm sure you'll go much, much further.

-Thank you.

But in the meantime, thanks very much indeed. Jordan and Amber.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Clare and Ailise, Alan and Heather.

You are now one step closer to the final,

and the chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

Well, we have arrived at the head-to-head,

which is wonderful news, cos it means you can now confer

before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here's your first question, and it concerns...

Goal celebrations, Richard.

Going to show you five pictures now

of memorable goal celebrations in football.

We need you to identify the most obscure person

you're about to see, please.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five goal celebrations, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are, five goal celebrations.

Clare and Ailise, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

OK, we don't really know many of them, maybe only two.

So we're going to go for D, Gareth Bale.

OK, you're going to say D, Gareth Bale.

OK. Now then, Alan and Heather.

Right, well, Heather doesn't really do football.

Obviously, being a Luton fan, neither do I.

LAUGHTER

But A is Shearer.

I should know who B is, but I can't think.

I think C is Danny Welbeck...

..and E is Peter Crouch.

Going to go for C, Danny Welbeck.

Danny Welbeck say Alan and Heather.

So we have Gareth Bale and we have Danny Welbeck.

Clare and Ailise have gone for Gareth Bale for D.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

27 for Gareth Bale, not bad at all.

Now, Alan, you've just had a moment there, haven't you?

No, I think I've got that wrong, but I've just realised.

OK, well, let's find out.

You've gone for Danny Welbeck, let's see if that's right.

No, I'm afraid not Danny Welbeck.

Well done, though, Clare and Ailise.

It means after one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, as you just worked out, Alan,

Daniel Sturridge, not Danny Welbeck.

Would have scored you 17 points as well, would have won you the point.

A is Shearer, as you said.

He would have scored 65.

We'll leave B for the moment cos it's the best answer.

E is Peter Crouch doing the robot,

and that would have scored you 50.

Now, B is a Sunderland player,

he's an Italian. He does this.

There's an Italian expression,

which is a knife between the teeth.

Someone wants something so much they have a knife between their teeth.

So that's his celebration, and it's Fabio Borini.

And would have scored you 4 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, here comes your second question.

Now, Alan and Heather, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

But you do get to answer it first, so best of luck.

It concerns, this second question of ours...

Animal Products, Richard.

We're going to give you descriptions now of five products

that come from animals

and also the first and last letter of the answer as well.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five animal products and here they come.

I'll read those all again.

Alan and Heather will go first.

Right, well, we think we know all those.

But then again, I thought I knew most of the last lot!

We're going to go for the third one down, which, we think, is ambergris.

Ambergris. Ambergris, say Alan and Heather.

Now then, Clare and Ailise, do you want to go through the board for us?

So we think we know beeswax and also gelatin,

and we're going to go for gelatin

for the common confectionery ingredient.

OK, gelatin, say Clare and Ailise.

So we have Alan and Heather with ambergris.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is ambergris.

Very good indeed, 15 for ambergris.

Now, Clare and Ailise have gone for gelatin.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said gelatin.

It's right.

There we are, 45 for gelatin.

Well done, Alan and Heather.

Just what we needed from you, you're back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

It's interesting Alan and Heather's answer,

cos it's one of those words that we mispronounce.

It's actually amberGRIS. But we assume it's amberGREE

cos that's our French have taught us that's what it should be.

AmberGRIS is how you pronounce that.

The top one is...

-Eiderdown.

-Eiderdown.

That would have scored you 60.

Beeswax is a big scorer.

Would have scored 83.

-And the bottom one...

-Cochineal.

Cochineal, yeah. And that would have scored you 39.

So ambergris is the best answer on the board.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, it comes down to the third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

-Richard.

-Five clues now to facts

relating to the Welsh capital city Cardiff.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer

is going through to play for that jackpot. Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come. We've got...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

Now, Clare and Ailise, you will go first.

OK, the ones I know, this is really bad cos I'm from Wales...

LAUGHTER

The ones I know are going to be the ones that everyone knows.

So I think I'm just going to go for the Millennium Stadium.

-The Millennium Stadium.

-For the second one down...

..Say Clare and Ailise, the Millennium Stadium.

Now then, Alan and Heather, do you fancy talking us through that board?

Right, top one must be Roald Dahl.

Officially recognised, I don't know.

I'd maybe guess at the '60s for that.

Shirley Bassey is Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever.

But the one we're going for, I think, is the bottom one.

-Yeah.

-And that's Glamorgan.

Glamorgan, say Alan and Heather.

So we have the Millennium Stadium and we have Glamorgan.

Clare and Ailise went for the Millennium Stadium.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

47.

47 for the Millennium Stadium.

Now, Alan and Heather have gone for Glamorgan Cricket Club.

Let's see if that's right for the Swalec Stadium.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

Now 47 is what it has to beat.

And it does.

There we are, 20 for Glamorgan,

very well done indeed.

And it means, Alan and Heather,

after three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yes, very strong performance.

Only one answer up there that would have beaten it,

and that's the decade, as you would imagine.

Because Roald Dahl would have scored you 61 points,

and Shirley Bassey would have scored you even more.

She would have scored you 77.

But the decade was the '50s.

1955. And it would have scored you 4 points.

-Very well done if you said that at home.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm sorry to say, Clare and Ailise, it is you.

You've been brilliant the whole way through the show, though.

Very, very good. Strong first round,

strong low score in the second round. I mean, fantastic.

It's great news for us, it means we get to see you again next time.

Otherwise, it would all have been over in just one appearance,

and we look forward to that. Thanks very much, Clare and Ailise.

But for Alan and Heather it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Alan and Heather.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at...

Well, very well done. I mean, what a great performance.

As always, you get to choose your category in this last round

from the four we put up on the board.

We've just got to hope there's something up there

that you like the look of. Today's selection looks like this...

-Hmm.

-Don't know much about fashion, do we?

-As our daughter would say.

-Just look at us.

It's going to have to be Dickens.

Yeah, it will have to be Charles Dickens.

Yeah, it's going to be Charles Dickens.

-OK, Charles Dickens it is. Richard.

-OK, very, very best of luck.

Here are your three different categories.

We are looking for anyone credited with appearing

in David Lean's 1948 film Oliver Twist, according to IMDb.

We are looking for any named character

who appeared in three or more episodes of BBC's Dickensian.

So three or more episodes.

Or any work by Charles Dickens

that appears on the Project Gutenberg website

as of April 2016, please.

That's his novels, novellas, any anthologies or periodicals

that just contain his work.

So lots of things on that list.

So the cast of Oliver Twist,

Dickensian characters in three or more episodes,

or any work by Charles Dickens

on the Project Gutenberg website, please.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-It's got to be Dickensian...

-It's got to be Dickensian, hasn't it?

Who was the tall, thin one that hung around with...what's her face?

I know who you mean, but I can't remember her name.

That doesn't help, does it, really?

-There's Honoria... Is it Bartelby?

-No.

-Is it? No.

-Is it Bartleby?

No.

-No, I can't remember.

-I can't remember her name.

There's the varying Cratchits, isn't there?

So there's Peter Cratchit, isn't there? There's Martha Cratchit.

That's going to be a big scorer.

There's Fagan, there's Bill Sikes, there's Nancy,

there's Inspector Bucket.

Who was the Omid Djalili one?

-Mr Venus.

-Yeah.

Mr Venus.

-Who else was in it?

-I don't know.

Mrs Gamp, isn't there?

What was the name of the bloke with the peg leg?

The inn keeper?

Probably Peg Leg something, wasn't it?

Ten seconds left.

Peter Cratchit, Martha Cratchit and Mr Venus.

Yeah, Mr Venus, yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-I can't think of anybody else.

-My brain's gone.

-My brain's gone a little bit as well.

OK, that's your time up.

Sounds like you've arrived at three answers, though.

-Yes, we have.

-Let's hear what they are.

-They're all out of Dickensian.

-Very good.

-And we're going to go for Peter Cratchit.

-Peter Cratchit.

-Martha Cratchit.

-Martha Cratchit.

-And Mr Venus.

And Mr Venus.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Mr Venus.

-I reckon Mr Venus.

-Mr Venus? OK, that goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Martha Cratchit.

-Martha Cratchit.

Martha Cratchit, and Peter Cratchit goes in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are. We have got...

Very best of luck, three good answers up on the board there.

Quite a nice jackpot, £2,750.

What would you do with that if you won?

We like going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,

so I think it would fund a couple of seasons

going up to watch the Edinburgh Fringe.

Very nice, very nice indeed.

Alan, anything you want to add to that?

No, that's about it, that's the same. We love going up there.

Well, three good answers on the board.

Let's hope at least one of them is pointless

and wins that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Martha Cratchit.

In this case, in fact in all three cases,

we were looking for characters from the programme Dickensian.

If it is pointless, it will win you £2,750.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Martha Cratchit.

It's right.

That's the first thing it had to be,

the second thing it has to be is pointless.

Martha Cratchit takes us down through the 30s,

into the 20s, into the teens,

into single figures.

Down it goes, still going down.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed!

Good answers there.

What about that?! Straight out of the traps

Congratulations. Martha Cratchit was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £2,750.

CHEERING

Yeah, very well played,

you've been terrific all the way through this show.

I'm not at all surprised. Anyone who watched Dickensian,

there's lots and lots of pointless answers out there.

So it was a really, really nice category to choose, I have to say.

It won't surprise you both that your other answers

were pointless as well.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers

in all the different categories.

We'll start with Oliver Twist, some lovely names here.

Everybody in that film, apart from Alec Guinness,

Robert Newton and Anthony Newley.

Well done if you said any of those.

Now, Dickensian characters, lots and lots of pointless answers here.

Mr Venus, as you said, was played by Omid Djalili.

You could have had Arthur Havisham, Captain James Hordern,

Constable Duff, Constable Jones, Daisy,

Edward Barbary, Emily Cratchit, John Bagnet,

Martha Cratchit we've had from you, Mary and Matthew Pocket,

Meriwether Compeyson, Mr Gradgrind is a pointless answer,

Nell, Rose, Sally Compeyson, Silas Wegg.

All of those were pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

And works by Charles Dickens. Lots and lots of pointless answers.

None of the novels were pointless, other than Barnaby Rudge.

Lots of other pointless answers there,

but mainly the short stories and what have you.

Very, very well done if you got any of those at home,

and great work in the studio, well played.

Thank you very much indeed,

and thanks once again to our winning players,

Alan and Heather, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750.

Very well done indeed.

Join us next time

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE