Episode 27 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked

to 100 people before the show.

All our contestants have to do is come up with the answers

no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Cathie, and this is my friend, Aladin,

and we've come from Glasgow.

Couple number two.

My name is Raphael, this is my good friend, Jack,

and we're from Cambridge.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Matilda, this is my mum, Amanda,

and we're from Lewisham in south east London.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Nick. This is my evil stepfather.

We're from Nottinghamshire.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much all of you.

We'll get to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Stand and deliver -

although he prefers to sit down, if you don't mind.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-What a fun show last time.

-Wasn't that fun?

We've only got one pair coming back - that's Nick and Tony.

Nick gave us, as a Shakespeare play, Gladiator,

which was slightly awkward.

But got through to Round 2, did get through to Round 2,

so hopefully see a bit more of you on today's show.

And Sean and Jane got through to the final round,

and the category was Miley Cyrus top 40 singles.

And actually, they did pretty well.

-OK.

-No Pointless answers, but they did do pretty well to be fair.

We welcome three new pairs.

Now, it's not very often...

We've done nearly about 1,100 of these shows now.

Not very often we have a contestant with a name

we've never had before on the show.

-Mm!

-And I have... This is genuinely in 1,100,

this is the first time we've ever had a contestant called Jack.

-So lovely to have you here.

-LAUGHTER

It's going to be a cracking show.

I think it will. I think it will. Thanks very much.

As you'll have gathered,

Sean and Jane didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to the jackpot,

so today's jackpot starts off, it starts off at...

Look at that.

CROWD WHOOP

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

So, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

The pair with the highest score, so keep your scores low.

Very best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Sports broadcasters.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And our question concerns...

It's very much the same as sports broadcasters, but there we are.

It's getting a bit more specific. Richard?

Yeah, we're going to show you 16 pictures now

of famous sports commentators and presenters.

We just need you to identify the most obscure of these, please.

Thank you very much indeed. This is going to be fun!

We'll to show you an image of sports commentators AND presenters...

It's lucky I did make it more specific, isn't it?

-It is.

-There you go.

Obviously, this image won't change halfway through the round.

It will stay up for the entire round,

so don't go expecting a new board halfway through.

Let's have a look at that image. Here it is.

We have these fine people.

There we are.

Now then, Cathie.

-Oh, my goodness me.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

Welcome to Pointless.

What keeps you busy up in Glasgow, Cathie?

-I'm a trainer.

-A trainer for...? Who do you train and in what?

I'm a freelance trainer.

I work for myself and I cover courses all over the UK,

doing health and safety and management.

Wow! So you travel wherever people need you.

-And beyond.

-And beyond! Even where people don't...

You travel so far, until you find people who have no need...

I can't believe there's anyone who has no need for Cathie,

for heaven's sake.

What particular disciplines of health and safety do you cover?

I do health and safety management courses for people,

which spans over four days.

-So that's quite a long time, but I make it fun.

-That's nice.

You get to know people quite well over four days, I should think.

That's nice. And what are your interests, Cathie,

when you get back home after your health and safety...?

I'm a very busy woman.

I don't like to have downtime, so I volunteer for the Army Cadet Force.

Wow!

Now, Cathie, how are we feeling about our sports broadcasters?

My mind has gone totally blank. But I'm going to do my best.

OK. Good luck.

I'm going to give it a go with...

I don't know. Is that Seb Coe up the top?

OK, you're going to go for Seb Coe. Let's see.

Is that right? How many of our 100 people said Seb Coe?

No. I'm sorry, Cathie.

I bet that's not the last 100 points in this round.

But I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer, scoring you the top mark.

Yeah, he gets everywhere, Seb Coe, but not on this board, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much. Jack, welcome to Pointless.

-Here from Cambridge.

-That's correct.

-What do you do, Jack?

-I work in a family business.

We import tiles, and distribute them as well.

-Where do you import them from?

-All over the place.

-All over.

-Yeah.

I'm trying to think. Morocco, I think of North Africa...

Actually, it's more, like, more common tiles than that.

It's more kind of your kind of bread-and-butter tiles, I guess.

I see.

And where do they largely come from, your bread-and-butter tiles?

-Europe and China and India, mainly. Turkey.

-There we are.

And do you get to travel around to porcelain factories?

A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. That's one of the perks.

-That's quite fun, yeah.

-One of the perks of selling tiles.

-Yeah!

-Good stuff.

Jack, what would you like to go for?

Well, I was a bit nervous at this particular one

because I'm not so hot on sports commentators.

But I'm going to go with Murray Walker.

Murray Walker, says Jack.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Murray Walker.

30.

-30 for Murray Walker.

-Very well played.

There he is on the second row, Murray Walker.

-He's been on Pointless Celebrities, hasn't he?

-He has.

One of my proudest moments on Pointless was me and Nigel Mansell

playing Scalextric with Murray Walker commentating.

-Commentating, wasn't he?

-That was very exciting.

-He's over 90.

-I know.

-Isn't that amazing?

Extraordinary. Matilda. Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Matilda?

I've just finished university, a couple of weeks ago.

Oh, congratulations. What were you studying?

-I did politics and sociology.

-Did it go well?

-Yes, I hope so.

When do you get your results?

I just found out that I got a 2:1.

-The other day.

-That's good.

That is good.

Ah, phew!

Well, nothing wrong with that.

And have you got... Have you taken a bit of time off now?

Or are you going straight into work?

-Have you got...?

-I'm doing a summer job at the moment.

I'm working in an English-language college,

just taking kids from abroad out and about round London.

That's fun. With an umbrella?

-Yeah.

-And then have you got something lined up for after that or are you

just going to maybe take it easy for a little bit?

-I'm kind of hoping to go travelling a bit.

-Good. Very good.

Now, before you do all of that, we need an answer in our first round.

One of those guys kind of looks like somebody who was on Dancing on Ice,

so I'm going to go - Robin Cousins?

And I think it's probably wrong but...

Robin Cousins, says Matilda.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people

got it if it is right.

-It is right.

-Oh!

30 is our low score.

Robin Cousins takes you whizzing past 30 to 27.

-Very well done, Matilda.

-Wow!

Well done. Yeah, Olympic figure skating champion, Robin Cousins.

And as you say, he was a judge on Dancing On Ice.

I got a 2:1 in politics and sociology as well. So...

-Wow!

-There you are.

-Yeah, how about that?

-How about that?

And I am also hoping to do a summer job,

leading English language students around London.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Tony, welcome back.

Good to have you back amongst us.

Round 2, we had to say goodbye to you last time.

-Yes.

-I think a lot further this time.

Minor slip-up.

Are you feeling good about this first round?

-Slightly better.

-Yeah, that's more like it.

Good. Tony, remind us what you do.

I'm a warehouse supervisor for an electronics company.

When you put your warehouse supervision behind you at the end of each day,

what do you like to get up to?

I'm very much into the high-octane sports like darts and pool.

RIPPLE OF LAUGHTER

-They're very much...

-I enjoy playing poker.

There we are. OK.

Very good. Now, Tony, who would you like to go for on this board?

I'm going to go for Richie Benaud.

Richie Benaud, says Tony.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people spotted Richie Benaud

on that board.

Well, 100 was our high score.

You've passed that. 27 is our low score and you've passed that.

25, look at that.

Very well done indeed. In fact, the lowest score so far.

The wonderful Richie Benaud there on the second row.

He passed away in 2015 and the Australian PM offered

to put on a state funeral for him.

-Really?

-And Richie Benaud's family said no,

they had a private ceremony instead.

But that shows the love in which he is held in Australia and in the UK.

Very gracious on both sides.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much.

We are halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

25, Tony, the best score of the pass.

Tony and Nick, top of the pile at this point.

Then we go to 27, where we find Matilda and Amanda.

30 is where Jack and Raphael currently reside.

And then 100 is where we find Cathie and Aladin.

OK, we're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Nick, welcome back to Pointless.

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm a night shift manager at a popular

-fast food restaurant.

-Have you got a good gang there with you?

-Yeah, got...

-How many other managers are there?

Oh, there's quite a few.

And are you solidly on night shifts...?

Yes, yes.

And have you got a family as well?

Yes, I've got two kids, a wife.

When do you see them?

-Weekends?

-I get in from work and my little boy is already sat up waiting

for me. Sort him out and give the wife a bit of a lie-in.

So you see a little bit in the mornings.

-Yeah.

-Nick, there you are, you're on 25.

If you can score 74 or less, you're straight through to the next round.

I recognise a few faces but no names are coming to the mind whatsoever.

So I'm just going to have to take a stab.

-Brian Reid.

-Brian Reid, says Nick.

Brian Reid. Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Brian Reid,

you're into the next round.

How many people said Brian Reid?

Is it right?

No.

No Brian Reid, I'm afraid, Nick.

That scores you 100 points. Takes your total up to 125.

Sorry, Nick. There is a sports writer, Brian Reid, but not on that board,

-I'm afraid.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Amanda, welcome to Pointless.

Here from Lewisham. What do you get up to in Lewisham, Amanda?

I'm retired now.

-What did you do?

-I was a nurse.

I worked in intensive care.

Right, how long did you do that for?

About 25 years, I think.

Goodness. Goodness.

Do you miss it at all? The camaraderie?

Yeah, the camaraderie, but I'm glad not to do the night shifts any more.

Yeah, I bet.

I bet. What do you like getting up to now, Amanda?

Usual kind of things, reading, I do a bit of writing.

And I like doing mosaic work.

Listen... Jack...

Amanda, Jack... Amanda, you need a lot of broken bits of tiles.

I do, yes.

They are stacking up.

This is...

This is the best thing that's ever happened on Pointless.

-That's great.

-So, what's the most ambitious mosaic work you've done

-so far?

-I did one for my nephew - he got married recently.

Of the tree of life and then the roots came down and it was their initials

in the roots. So that was quite nice.

Excellent. So, Amanda, you're on 27, behind you on 125 are Nick and Tony.

So, 97 or less gets you through.

I'm hoping that one of the women might be Lindsay Davenport.

-Lindsay Davenport...

-I don't know.

..says Amanda. Is it right, Lindsay Davenport, and if it is,

how many people said it?

Bad luck, bad luck.

However, you are only two points ahead of your nearest rivals.

So you're not too far ahead.

But 127 is your total.

Yeah, no Lindsay Davenport.

I'm afraid, again, a very good commentator and pundit

-but not on that board.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Raphael, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here from Cambridge.

-What do you do?

-I'm an actor and I run a street food business.

What fun. Let's cover the acting first.

What sort of things are you doing, what kind of things...?

I've recently become professional.

I've been making short films for about 15 years.

-Yeah.

-Off the back of that,

I got my first professional feature film last year and decided

that I would start doing it more actively.

So I'm doing a lot of voice work, I'm continuing short films,

and trying to get more feature and theatre work.

Good for you. Well, congratulations on all of that.

And meanwhile, while waiting for that to happen...

-Exactly.

-..you have a street food business that's just taken off.

Yeah, yeah, it's going pretty well.

-What are you making?

-Korean barbecue burgers.

Yeah. So...

-Mm!

-Obviously(!)

-Mm-mm!

Raphael, you are on 30.

The high scorers at the moment are 127.

It's Matilda and Amanda.

-Yeah.

-So, basically, we are looking for a score of 96 or less.

-Yeah.

-There's something about your attitude that tells me

I think you've got a good answer. I think you are au fait with this board.

Well, I was convinced that the two that I knew would be the first to go

but neither of them have done.

So I'm very relieved.

I'm not going to risk it,

I'll go with the safe option and I'll say Barry Davies.

Barry Davies, says Raphael.

Here is your red line, nice and high.

Get below that with Barry Davies, through you go to Round 2.

How many people said Barry Davies?

There you are. You are through.

Oh, look at that! 2! What about that. Raphael!

Look at that - 32 is your total.

The lowest total of the round by a margin.

Very well played. There he is on the second row, first one in,

Barry Davies. I think he is our greatest kind of general commentator,

-certainly for football.

-Yes.

-Wonderful commentator.

Very much so. Aladin.

Welcome to Pointless.

You are also from Glasgow.

-Yes, yes, I am.

-And what do you do, Aladin?

I'm a holistic practitioner.

I help people... I inspire people to become the best possible...

Positivity and all that.

Just imagine Oprah.

I'm Scottish Oprah.

I'm imagining Oprah.

-Scottish Oprah.

-I speak to people and inspire and lift them up.

There's no sort of physical...

There is slight physical.

I do work with people's energy.

Right, I see. Wonderful.

Now, what you have to do is get all your energy going in the right

direction, Aladin, and directed at that board because there are some

as-yet-unnamed people on it.

To be honest with you, I do not watch sports.

I really don't know anybody on that board.

Well, what we now have to do is use our energies to come up with a name.

There's a name coming up.

-Now.

-What is that name, Aladin?

Could be one of the audience names.

But anybody's.

Neil Jones.

Neil Jones.

Here's your red line.

Let's just see what happens when we say Neil Jones.

-Spooky.

-Totally.

I'm sorry, Aladin. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Yes, Neil Jones is, in fact, an incorrect answer.

And scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 200.

Big scoring in that round.

No Neil Jones, I'm afraid.

Anyone in the audience called Neil Jones?

You know what? Someone at home statistically will be called Neil Jones and

will literally be like... "Oh, my goodness!"

Oh, Aladin, you've made somebody very happy, that's the good news.

Not for the first time, I'm sure.

Let's go through the rest of these.

Cathie, not Seb Coe on the top left.

Another middle-distance runner of the same era.

Steve Cram. That is Steve Cram, would have scored you 18 points.

Next to Robin Cousins, David Coleman.

Would have scored you 36.

And again, not Lindsay Davenport, top right,

another American tennis player, Tracy Austin.

Would have scored you four points.

There's Barry Davies and Richie Benaud.

Next to him, looks like Joe Pasquale - isn't -

it's the wonderful Scottish rugby commentator Bill McLaren.

Is that Bill McLaren? Is that what Bill McLaren looks like?

Yeah. Scored you one point.

See, the voices of these people are so familiar,

some of the faces less so.

The first woman ever to commentate on Match of the Day, Jacqui Oatley,

is on our third row there. One point for her.

I think one of the other greatest commentators of any sport,

the wonderful late great Sid Waddell, next to her.

-Sid would have scored you two points.

-I think I know that one.

-Is that Peter O'Sullevan?

-Peter O'Sullevan.

The horse racing commentator. Would have scored you four.

Then from swimming, Adrian Moorhouse.

He would have scored you one point. Next down, we have of course...

-John Motson. John Motson.

-18 points.

Then from skiing, Graham Bell, one point.

A pointless answer next,

the brilliant presenter from 5 Live and many other places,

Eleanor Oldroyd. And the doyen of golf commentators

on the bottom right, just seven points for Peter Alliss.

Peter Alliss. There we are.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair we have to say goodbye to

with their high score of 200, a lot of relieved...

Well, two relieved pairs away to your right.

But I'm sorry to have to say goodbye to you.

We are looking forward already to the next show,

when you'll be back again. I'm sure you will go much further then.

In the meantime, thank you so much, Aladin and Cathie.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round 2.

Well done, everybody.

We made it through to Round 2.

Only three pairs left. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we have to say goodbye to another pair. I wouldn't like to say

which pair that is going to be.

But best of luck to all three pairs.

For this next round, our category for Round 2 this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

"S" in science, Richard.

We are going to show you six clues on each board to people,

places and things beginning with S, to do with science.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer, please.

Six on the first board, six on the second.

-12 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

-OK.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our six clues on the first board

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. All scientific things beginning with S.

-Jack.

-I don't...

I don't want to risk it so I think I'm going to have to go

with something quite obvious.

I'll go with the David Bowie song, Space Oddity.

Space Oddity, says Jack.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people went with

Space Oddity.

It's right.

Jack, that's not a bad answer at all. 24.

Nice start to the round. Bowie called it possibly the most poignant

version of the song that he'd ever heard.

Which is... Quite right.

What a beautiful thing to hear if you'd written that.

Yeah. Matilda.

What would you like to go for?

I kind of know the obvious ones and I think the least obvious

of the ones I know is the metal with the chemical symbol Ag is silver.

Silver, says Matilda,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for silver.

It's right. 24 is our only score at this point.

62 is our high score.

Very well played.

Did you know sterling silver is only 92.5% silver?

What do you call 100% silver?

-What do I call it?

-Well, yeah.

100% silver, we call Lone Ranger's horse.

Hi ho.

Tony. You're the last person to have this board.

Which means, you lucky thing, you can talk us through it.

There's one that's too obvious and going to be a very high scorer.

The unit of time is obviously a second.

The other one I'm almost sure on

is the word meaning the interaction

between two different organisms.

-And that's symbiotic.

-OK.

You're going to go for symbiotic.

Symbiotic.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said

symbiotic.

It's right.

21.

Lowest score of the round so far, Tony.

Very well done.

Terrific answer, Tony.

Well played. Symbiotic or symbiosis, we put on the board there.

21 points.

Let's fill in the rest of these, shall we?

You were right to avoid the unit of time. It is a second.

It would have scored 91 points.

I guess maybe you get confused by the question.

The surname of the astrophysicist...

-Sagan.

-Yeah, Carl Sagan.

Would have scored 28.

And the author... Fermat's Last Theorem is a brilliant book

and it's Simon Singh.

It would have scored you one point.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are halfway through the round. Let's have a little recap of our scores.

21, look at that, Tony and Nick. Right at the top of the pile again.

24 is where we find Jack and Raphael.

62 is where we find Matilda and Amanda.

But, Amanda, a nice low score from you in the next pass

could change all of that. So, good luck with that.

We are going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Let's put six more scientific "S"s on the board and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Nick.

-I'm going to play it safe.

-Sixth planet from the sun, Saturn.

-Saturn, says Nick.

OK. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with Saturn,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Saturn.

It's right.

79 for Saturn, taking your total up neatly to 100.

Coolest looking planet, isn't it, by a long way?

Its rings go 175,000 miles out into space.

-Cool planet.

-Cool planet.

-Lots of rings.

-Yeah, lots of rings.

OK, now, Amanda.

Amanda, so we have a target.

37 or less is what we need from you.

I'm not sure about this at all.

I knew the last board a lot better.

I'm having a bit of a guess at the word represented by the letter S

in Nasa is "space".

Surely. But who knows?

Let's find out. Here is your red line.

You have to get below that with space, let's see if you can.

Space, how many people said it?

It's right.

84. 84 for space.

That's a high score there.

146 is your total.

It's what they are known for, isn't it, Nasa?

-It is.

-More than anything.

Yeah, it stands for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Now then, Raphael.

Great news for you. You are through.

Doesn't matter what you score.

However, I again think you've got...

I think you've got some good answers up your sleeve there.

Will you talk us through this board and fill in our blanks, please?

OK, so the chemical symbol of tin, Sg, perhaps.

Stephen Hawking is the name of the physicist.

I think it's Sky At Night, Brian Cox and Dara O'Briain.

I can't remember the name of the scientist who did

a thought experiment involving a cat.

I'm just going to play it safe and go with Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking, says Raphael.

Well, it doesn't matter what you score - you are through anyway.

There's no red line.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Stephen.

It's right.

57. Not bad at all, taking your total up to 81.

Safely through. The chemical symbol of tin is not Sg, it's Sn.

Sn. Would have scored you 34.

The BBC show is Stargazing Live.

Stargazing Live.

-Yes, that's right.

-14 points for that.

And the surname of the prize-winning scientist...

-Schrodinger.

-Schrodinger.

Absolutely right. 21 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

we have to say goodbye to a pair

and the pair I'm afraid we are saying goodbye to on this occasion

is Matilda and Amanda.

But it's good news because we get to see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much but in the meantime,

thanks very much indeed, Matilda and Amanda.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Raphael and Jack, Nick and Tony.

You are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for our

jackpot which, in case you've forgotten, currently stands at...

So, there we are. We've reached the head-to-head,

which means you are now allowed to confer before you give your answers and

the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here is your first question and it concerns...

-Richard.

-Simply five clues now to facts about Sir Paul McCartney.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

Thanks very much, indeed. OK,

let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Raphael and Jack, you are our low scorers. You will go first.

We are sure about one of the answers, so we are going to go with that one,

rather than risk it. It's the former model he married in 2002,

we believe is Heather Mills.

Heather Mills, say Raphael and Jack.

Now then, Nick and Tony, the board is all yours - talk us through it.

Yeah, we know the Bond theme song, Live And Let Die.

I think the first number one was Yellow Submarine, but I'm not sure.

But the band he formed, I think that's Wings.

What do you want to go for?

Yeah? We'll go for Wings.

You are going to go for Wings. So we have Heather Mills and we have Wings.

Raphael and Jack said Heather Mills.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Heather Mills.

35.

35. Nick and Tony have gone for Wings, the band formed in 1971.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

52 for Wings.

Very well done indeed, Raphael and Jack.

An early lead for them.

After one question, they are up 1-0.

Yeah, biggest scorer on the board, Wings,

scores more than Live And Let Die, which you were absolutely right about.

Would have scored you 38 points.

-The first Number One single with the Beatles...

-Please Please Me?

No, it was From Me To You.

Would have scored you three points. Please Please Me was Number Two.

And the first name he was given when born...

It's the name of his son as well.

-James.

-Yeah, James. James Paul McCartney.

And that would have scored you eight.

So, From Me To You the best answer on the board.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Nick and Tony, we need a good answer from you here.

But you get to answer it first.

Our second question is all about...

-Richard.

-I'm going to show you five images now of UK cities that were

granted city status in the 21st century.

Also going to give you alternate letters of their name.

OK, let's reveal our five cities and here they come...

We have got...

There we are. Five cities.

Recently granted city status.

Nick and Tony, you will go first.

We are going to go for C being Preston.

Preston, say Nick and Tony.

Preston, for C.

So then, Raphael and Jack,

do you fancy talking us through the rest of that board and picking

-which one you want to submit?

-Well, the first one is Inverness.

E is Wolverhampton.

B, I don't know.

D is in Scotland and I think we're going to have to go with Inverness.

I think Preston would have been our first choice,

-so we'll go with Inverness.

-OK, you are going to go with Inverness.

So we have Preston and we have Inverness.

Nick and Tony said Preston.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Preston for C.

It's right.

Not bad, 36 for Preston.

Not bad at all. Raphael and Jack, meanwhile,

have gone for Inverness for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Inverness.

It's right.

Ooh! High score.

63 for Inverness.

So, very well done indeed, Nick and Tony.

Just what we needed from you.

You are back in the game. After two questions, it is 1-1.

Very nicely played indeed. Let's fill the rest of these in.

-B is...

-Newry.

Newry, yeah.

That would have scored you 21 points.

And so beautiful as well, D, isn't it?

-Stirling.

-Yeah, Stirling.

That would have scored you 13.

And the last one is Wolverhampton.

And Wolverhampton would have scored you 43.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final and plays for that

jackpot. So, best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question this afternoon is all about...

-Richard.

-I'm going to show you five quotes now from literature

about food. We just need you to name the author of each, please.

We are going to show you their initials too.

Thanks very much indeed. OK,

let's reveal our five food quotes and here they come. We've got...

I'll read those all again one last time.

So, Raphael and Jack, we come to you first.

We definitely know one,

but I think we are going to go with one that we have an inkling on,

which is the top one, we think is Virginia Woolf.

Virginia Woolf, say Raphael and Jack.

Virginia Woolf. Now then, Nick and Tony, the board is all yours.

-Talk us through it.

-I know a couple of others.

Lewis Carroll for the very small cake.

Charles Dickens for "Please sir, I want some more."

Very small cake...

-Yeah.

-We'll go for the very small cake with Lewis Carroll.

OK, Lewis Carroll.

So we have Virginia Woolf and we have Lewis Carroll.

Raphael and Jack have Virginia Woolf.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

15 for Virginia Woolf.

Nick and Tony, meanwhile, have gone for Lewis Carroll.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lewis Carroll.

It's right.

55 for Lewis Carroll, which means, very well done indeed,

Raphael and Jack, after three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Well played, gents. Let's fill in the gaps. We start at the bottom.

Please, sir, I want some more...

-Charles Dickens.

-Charles Dickens, as you said.

87 points for that, though.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education...

-Mark Twain.

-Mark Twain.

Would have scored you 20.

And the best answer on the board, the Madeleine...

..is Marcel Proust.

A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu.

-Four points for that.

-Fabulous.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much indeed. So,

the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid,

Nick and Tony. But what a performance this time.

We had to say goodbye to you far too soon last time round but this time,

right through to the head-to-head.

And a very creditable performance across it as well.

But I'm afraid this is where the road ends and we have to say goodbye,

but thank you both so much for playing, Nick and Tony.

APPLAUSE

But for Raphael and Jack, it is now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Raphael, Jack,

you've fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted

Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing,

would you believe it, at £5,500.

Well, listen, you have come in here, one appearance on Pointless,

your first time, and have stormed it right the way through.

Low score after low score.

Seen your way through the head-to-head. Here you are in the final.

Only... It's sad for us.

It's sad for us, only one appearance.

-It is tainted.

-I tell you what,

it is good news for the Korean burger and tile fans of Cambridge.

They will be laughing.

Now, you know what happens in this round...

-Yeah.

-Four subjects, all of them horrific,

will appear on a board behind me.

You just have to find the one that scares you the least.

-OK.

-OK.

Good luck. Here is today's selection.

We have this...

-Wow!

-OK, so...

Either the great offices of state or European actresses.

Because that's your area of expertise.

No, I don't know any...

I would say the great offices of state...

-Yeah?

-We'll go with the great offices of state, whatever that means.

Excellent. The great offices of state, Richard.

Said with such confidence.

We'll go with whatever the great offices of state...

The great offices of state are Prime Minister,

Chancellor of the Exchequer, Foreign Secretary and Home Secretary.

And we are looking for any of the following, please.

Anyone who held any of those for great offices of state at any time

during the 1940s,

at any time during the 1960s or at any time during the 1980s.

So, anyone who was Prime Minister, Foreign Secretary,

Home Secretary or Chancellor of the Exchequer

in the '40s, '60s or '80s, please.

OK, now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Yes, we are.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK.

-So, Prime Ministers...

Anyone that isn't obvious?

Neville Chamberlain... Winston Churchill...

Can you think who might have been like a Secretary of State

-for Winston Churchill?

-No.

I can't. 1980s.

Maybe we can just name a couple of Conservative...

people we know from the 1980s.

Any Conservative... Michael Howard?

-Shall we go with him?

-I think he's a little bit later than that.

He is, but maybe he did one of those things at some point.

-Robin Cook?

-No, he's Labour.

Labour wouldn't have been in power in the 1980s.

So...

John Major is an obvious one.

What was his name?

'40s... Shall we just go with Neville Chamberlain for one?

Neville Chamberlain.

1960s... Who was...

Labour was in the 1960s.

Who was it when it was Vietnam?

Ten seconds left.

Who was the Labour leader in the 1960s?

-The Labour government.

-I have no idea.

-Michael Howard...

-I have no idea.

-Neville Chamberlain...

And... We'll find someone else.

OK. That is your time up. I'm afraid I now need your three answers.

What are you going to go for

-and you can say which decade you are talking about.

-OK. We'll go Michael Howard, 1980s...

-Michael Howard.

-Neville Chamberlain, 1940s...

-Neville Chamberlain.

-John Major for 1980s...

-Yeah.

-John Major, 1980s.

John Major, 1980s.

OK. Now, of those three,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Let's just go for Michael Howard.

Michael Howard, we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-John Major.

-John Major we'll put first.

And then we put Neville Chamberlain in the middle.

-Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

-There we go. OK, well,

let's put the answers up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are. We've got...

Well, very, very best of luck.

OK, now, your first answer, John Major.

In this case, we were looking for anyone who held a great office of state

in the 1980s. If this is right and if it is pointless,

it will win you £5,500.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said John Major.

It's right.

That was the first thing it had to be.

Now, John Major takes us all the way down to zero,

you leave here with that jackpot of £5,500.

Down we go, through the 20s. Through the teens.

17. We land on 17.

Not a bad answer. Unfortunately, though, not a pointless answer,

which means we move on to your second answer,

which was Neville Chamberlain.

In this case, we were looking for people who held one of the great offices

of state in the 1940s.

Again, this has to be pointless for you to win, so for £5,500,

let's see how many people said Neville Chamberlain.

It's right. Another correct answer.

John Major took us down to 17.

Neville Chamberlain takes us down to the 30s and down through the 20s.

We pass 17, down we go.

Into single figures, just.

Nine.

Not bad.

You see what you're doing there.

You are moving very much in the right direction.

Well...

OK, we now move on to your third and final answer.

The one you thought was probably your best shot at a pointless answer and

it is Michael Howard.

Again, we've moved back to the 1980s.

For the great offices of state, for £5,500,

how many people said Michael Howard?

Is it pointless?

No. Bad luck.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer, but still, not bad.

We didn't do badly on the great offices of state there.

But I'm afraid we didn't find the pointless answer you needed

to take that jackpot away. So I'm afraid

you don't win the jackpot today.

That will roll over on to the next show,

but it's been fabulous having you on and what a brilliant performance.

-Thank you.

-Very proud of that. And you get to take home a Pointless trophy.

-Exactly.

So very, very well done. There we are. Very well done, Raphael and Jack.

APPLAUSE

Unlucky, gents. Yeah,

Michael Howard was Home Secretary but from '93 to '97.

Michael Howard. We'll go through the pointless answers for the different

decades. I know lots of people at home will have got answers on this.

Herbert Morrison was Labour Home Secretary in the '40s.

Hugh Dalton was a Labour Chancellor.

John Anderson, now, he was the Conservative Chancellor

but he was also briefly Home Secretary

and he is the person who Anderson air raid shelters were named after.

And Stafford Cripps was a Labour Chancellor.

Also could have had Donald Somervell, James Ede,

John Simon and Kingsley Wood.

We'll move on to the '60s now.

A couple of Conservative chancellors here.

Derick Heathcoat-Amory and Reginald Maudling.

Also Michael Stewart, the Labour Foreign Secretary and Selwyn Lloyd,

who was Foreign Secretary and Chancellor for the Tories.

And the '80s now, only two Pointless answers here.

David Waddington, who was Home Secretary,

went on to become governor of Bermuda.

-That's a nice gig, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

And Francis Pym, who was Foreign Secretary.

Very, very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Raphael and Jack, very sadly they didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over

on to the next show, when we will be playing for £6,500.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.