Episode 34 Pointless


Episode 34

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

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and welcome to Pointless, the game where we aim for the obscure and we ignore the obvious.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, I'm Joel, this is my girlfriend Iris, and we're from London.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name's Steve, this is my friend Adam,

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-and we're from Liverpool.

-Couple number three.

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I'm Lina, this is my partner Tash, and we're from London.

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And finally, couple number four.

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My name is Mike, this is my lovely wife Sarah,

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and we live near Otley in Yorkshire.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much to all of you, a warm welcome to Pointless.

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We'll get to chat to you throughout the show.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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As wise as a Jedi, he's our Obi-Wan K-now-It-All, it's my Pointless friend,

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-it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

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Good afternoon.

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Good afternoon to you, are you well?

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-And you, I'm extremely well.

-Excellent. Two returning pairs from the last show,

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and we didn't see a huge amount of either pair.

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On the final podium there, Sarah and Mike, welcome back,

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got knocked out in the first round.

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And Iris and Joel, who got knocked out in the second round on Elements.

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Mainly because Iris went to an art school from the age of four,

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in the Netherlands, which sounds like the coolest thing I've ever heard.

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-Absolutely.

-But hopefully you'll see more of both pairs today.

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And welcome to our newcomers as well, they're on podiums two and three.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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Now, Francesca and Liam didn't win the jackpot last time,

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and this is breaking... We've been handing out jackpots.

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We had five in a row, didn't we?

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You know what, they nearly did as well, didn't they? They made a terrific attempt,

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and they knew pointless answers, they just didn't quite... They didn't go for them.

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No, it was a real shame, very unlucky. But they didn't win the jackpot.

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"Isn't that unlucky," is what you're all saying!

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So we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

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There we are.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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Now, remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

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will be eliminated. That's all you have to remember.

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Very, very best of luck. No conferring of course,

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until we get to the head-to-head. Our first category this afternoon is...

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Famous People. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Famous Neils, Richard.

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Yes, simply seven clues to famous people called Neil on each board.

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Can you identify the most obscure?

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14 in all to guess at home, good luck.

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OK, let's reveal our first board of Neils, and here they come.

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Let me read those one more time.

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Iris, welcome back to Pointless.

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-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Iris.

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-I'm a food blogger.

-You are a food blogger.

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-Yes.

-And you blog particularly on healthy food.

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Healthy food, vegan food, yeah.

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Healthy, vegan food.

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And when not blogging, tell me what else you get involved in.

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I love yoga, I love swimming, I like going to the gym,

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and I meet up with friends and have dinner parties, or go out for dinner.

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Have dinner parties where you showcase your healthy vegan food styles?

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-Yes, definitely.

-Now, Iris, how do we like this board?

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Well, I'm not that good with names, first of all.

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And...I can't think of any that spring to the top of my head.

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So, not that good.

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There's a clue, each one starts with Neil.

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I can give you that!

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I'm really not sure.

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But I'll go with the astronaut who became the first man on the moon,

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and Neil Armstrong.

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That's a good name, thank you!

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A random name.

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Yeah, a good surname.

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Yeah, it goes well with Neil.

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-Yeah, definitely.

-Let's see if it's right.

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Let's see. Now, how many of our 100 people said Neil Armstrong?

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It's right.

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Yeah, 90.

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90 for Neil Armstrong, I'm afraid.

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There's six flags up on the moon.

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Nasa say they'll all be bleached by now, due to various space things,

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or have disintegrated.

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Buzz Aldrin said that the flag that he and Neil Armstrong put up,

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he saw it had been blown over when they took off, by the rocket.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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Steve, welcome to Pointless, here from Liverpool.

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-What do you do, Steve?

-I'm a senior supervisor in a frozen food company.

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A frozen food retail company.

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Is that like a, sort of, frozen food supermarket type thing?

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-Yes.

-Freezing!

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-Really cold.

-Is the name of the game, pretty much, isn't it?

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You have to wear gloves and scarves, presumably.

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Sometimes, yes. You're supposed to.

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Wow. So, what are your interests, Steve,

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when you close the lid on your frozen food?

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Well, when I close the lid, I'm a bit of a sci-fi nerd, I like Star Wars,

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-Star Trek. Who doesn't?

-This plays very well into Pointless.

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You've picked the right area, is what I'm saying, Steve.

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-Hopefully so.

-Yeah. How are we feeling about Neils?

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There's a couple up there I know the answer to,

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but I think they're going to be high answers.

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But I think the footballer nicknamed Razor who played for Tottenham and

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Liverpool is Neil Ruddock.

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Neil Ruddock, says Steve.

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Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Neil Ruddock.

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It's right. 90 was our only score so far,

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and you've passed that very comfortably.

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47 for Neil Ruddock.

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APPLAUSE

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Yeah, a notorious hard man, Neil Ruddock,

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once broke both of someone's legs in a tackle.

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Oi-oi-oi, that's a tackle!

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-Isn't it just?

-Wow.

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Thank you very much. Now, Lina, welcome.

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-Hello.

-Great to have you here on Pointless.

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-What do you do, Lina?

-I work in the visa office

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-of the Australian High Commission, so...

-Where is the Australian High Commission?

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It's in Australia House on the Strand.

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That's a nice place to be, isn't it?

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-Yeah, in theory.

-In theory?

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I see, what, do you get quite a lot of irate people going, "Where's my visa, I'm flying tomorrow?"

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-Yeah, pretty much.

-What different types of visa do you issue?

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Just everything, really, like tourist, work, family, all the boring,

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kind of, yeah...

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I see. And what are your interests, Lina?

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Just, like, kind of, exploring London, really.

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Making the most of living there, travelling as much as we can, so...

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-Yeah.

-Very good.

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How do you like our Neils?

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I think I know one which is famous.

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-Good enough.

-It's the last one,

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which is Neil Patrick Harris, I think.

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Neil Patrick Harris, says Lina.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Neil Patrick Harris.

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It is right.

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Look at that, our best score so far by quite some way...

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Oh, still going down. 5!

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Lina, look at that!

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Very well done.

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Great work, Lina. Brilliant actor,

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used to be a professional Alexander Armstrong lookalike.

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Do you know, when I was little, people used to say I looked like... When I was little, when he was...

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-He was Doogie Howser.

-He was Doogie Howser.

-Many years ago, yeah.

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And isn't it funny? Yeah, I still get...

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I think I come out of that comparison better, shall we say?

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Oh, he's a very handsome man.

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Very handsome man.

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As are you.

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-Come now. If I were Neil Patrick Harris...

-Do we think Xander's handsome?

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-AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

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-Yeah!

-That was really quiet!

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Yeah, that was very nice of you, thank you.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Oh, Mike!

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Whoa! Is that the actual colour or am I looking at an infrared photograph?

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It's a beauty.

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You're not kidding. It's wonderful, Mike.

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Thank you so much, that has just changed my life.

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Mike, you're here from just outside Otley in Yorkshire.

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How lovely. Tell us more about Otley in Yorkshire.

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It's a lovely farming town, it's got a lot of pubs.

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A lot of pubs.

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Really, how many pubs have you got?

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You've never counted them? Too many?

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Too many. You can't do all of them.

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Wow. And you have a fabulous job up there, remind us what it is.

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I'm a shopper researcher.

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So, we run a shopping research agency.

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Are you actually based in Otley or...?

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Based in a farmhouse just outside of Guiseley.

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Guiseley, how nice.

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We have a converted cow shed.

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It just sounds like an idyllic life, that.

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And every so often you pop on a loud shirt and head down to the capital!

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-That's it!

-Very nice.

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Scare the Londoners!

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Well, thank you. It's just the sort of scare we needed, Mike.

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What would you like to go for?

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You're the last person to have this board of Neils.

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If you wanted to talk us through the ones we haven't yet answered,

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-you'd be very welcome.

-Right.

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I'd really like to do that.

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I've got two names, I've got Neil Diamond and I've got Neil Simon.

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But I don't know whether they were associated

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with any of the things up there.

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But I'm going for the top one, I'm going to say Neil Diamond.

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Thank goodness you didn't do that the other way around!

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That would have been awkward!

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Neil Diamond, let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Neil Diamond.

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Yes!

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Fantastic, 68 is what you score there.

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And everyone is right now going...

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# Whoa, whoa, whoa. #

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Yeah.

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Yeah, very well played. He'd sung in the same school choir as Barbra Streisand.

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-What a choir!

-That's quite a choir, isn't it?

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And actually, you gave us the top two answers there.

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Because it is Neil Diamond, and then it is Neil Simon,

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straight after that, the playwright.

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Neil Simon would have scored you 15 points.

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The other singer-songwriter there is...

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-Is it Neil Sedaka?

-It is Neil Sedaka.

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That would have scored you 36.

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-And the Scottish archaeologist is...

-I can't remember his name.

-..Neil Oliver.

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-Of course it is.

-That would have scored 11.

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Neil Patrick Harris, Lina, is the best answer on the board. Well played.

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We're halfway through the round,

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let's take a look at those scores. 5, what about that, Lina?

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Very, very, very much the best score of that pass.

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Lina and Tash, I predict great things in terms of Round Two.

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Then we travel up to 47, where we find Steve and Adam,

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very well done indeed. 68 is where we find Mike and Sarah.

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I think you might just make it into Round Two this time. Here's hoping.

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Iris and Joel. Now, Joel, once again,

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I think I said this to you a couple of times last time,

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we need a low score from you.

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Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now,

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can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, we're going to put seven more Neils up on the board,

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and here they come.

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I'm going to read those all one last time.

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Sarah, welcome back.

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-Thank you.

-Welcome back.

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Now, Sarah, do you also work, then, in the same company with Mike?

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Yes, it's our company.

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Do you go out and...?

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I'm not the front line.

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-You're not the front line.

-I'm very much in support of what Mike does.

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Right. I see.

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How does that work? Do you then go out and tout for business with companies,

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and say, "We've got lots of information, wouldn't you like to know?"

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No... I'm a latecomer, because Mike and I haven't been together... We've been together seven years.

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So Mike started the business 20 years ago.

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-Right.

-So he was very well established when I came on the scene.

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So I really am a backroom girl,

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and just help a little bit with the admin side of things.

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He's the front line, along with our lovely ladies that work for us.

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Very nice indeed.

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Now then, Sarah, you've got the new board here.

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-I have.

-Quite a high score there, you're our second-highest scorers,

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so we need a nice reassuring low score from you, Sarah.

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I'm going to go for the TV presenter who hosted Art Attack,

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and that's Neil Buchanan, I think.

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Neil Buchanan, says Sarah.

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Here is your red line, if you can get below that with Neil Buchanan,

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you are well... You are definitely through to Round Two.

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Not so much well on your way, you're through!

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Neil Buchanan.

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-It's right.

-Thank goodness.

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That's a good answer. That gets you through as well, look at that!

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APPLAUSE

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19 is your score,

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and 87 is your total.

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Very, very well done indeed.

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Well done, Sarah. That's more like it, isn't it?

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-Thank you!

-Yeah, through to Round Two.

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Used to be in a heavy metal band before he was a TV presenter,

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-Neil Buchanan.

-Isn't it amazing, we all used to be in heavy metal bands, didn't we, before we went into TV?

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-Yes, yes, I certainly did.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Now then, Tash.

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-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless.

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What do you do, Tash?

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I work as a secretary in London.

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-Fun?

-Yes, yes.

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-How long have you done it for?

-Almost a year.

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What sort of company, or firm?

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It's a property company.

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A property company, I see, OK.

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And what are your interests, when you step away from the property side of things?

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Since leaving uni, I'd say travelling's become a big priority.

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I visited Lina in Chile last year, which was nice.

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That's very nice. OK, so are you already planning your next journey?

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Yes, we are. Hopefully somewhere in Asia or South America again.

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Very good indeed. OK, now, there you are, you're on five,

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fabulous low score there, the high-scorers are still Joel and Iris.

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So 84 or less gets you through.

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Yeah. That may be a problem!

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I don't actually know any of the answers.

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I recognise a name but I don't think he's got anything to do with the Pet Shop Boys,

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I'm not sure. So I'll just say Neil Morrissey for the Pet Shop Boys.

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For the Pet Shop Boys.

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OK, Neil Morrissey for the Pet Shop Boys.

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Let's see if that's right.

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Here is your red line, get below that red line,

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you're into the next round.

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Let's see what happens when we say Neil Morrissey.

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Nope, I am afraid that's an incorrect answer,

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it scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 105.

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But you're not that far ahead of our high-scorers,

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so you may still be in with a shout, there.

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Yeah, sorry, Tash, I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

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Thanks, Richard. Adam, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.

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-Also from Liverpool?

-Yes.

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-And what do you do, Adam?

-I'm a delivery driver

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-in the same frozen food company as Stephen.

-So that's how you met?

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-That's how we met, yes.

-So, Steve's there, you...

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# Deedle-up, deedle-up... #

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..you back up, basically, to Steve's...

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And you're dropping off, or are you picking up?

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-I'm dropping off.

-Now then, Adam, what are your interests,

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-when you're not delivering?

-My interests when I'm not working are

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football, darts, snooker.

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But I'm kind of like an adrenaline junkie, as well.

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So I like to... I've done the Gloucester Cheese Rolling with Steve.

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-We've done the cheese rolling.

-How many times have you done that?

-We've done it once.

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-Would you do it again?

-Yes, 100%.

-Awesome.

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Anyway, fun. You're on 47,

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our high-scorers at the moment are Tash and Lina on 105,

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which means 57 or less sees you comfortably through.

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What are you going to go for?

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I'm going to go for the actor who played Tony in Men Behaving Badly and

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voiced Bob The Builder, Neil Morrissey.

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Hm, rings a bell!

0:16:360:16:38

LAUGHTER

0:16:380:16:39

Here is your red line,

0:16:390:16:41

let's see what happens when we say Neil Morrissey this time.

0:16:410:16:44

It's right.

0:16:470:16:48

It gets you through, just. Look at that, 54.

0:16:500:16:51

You needed 57, got 54.

0:16:510:16:54

101 is your total. Very well done.

0:16:540:16:58

-Adam, you're through.

-Yeah, very nicely played, Adam.

0:16:580:17:00

Sorry, Tash, that's one of those things, isn't it?

0:17:000:17:03

Thanks very much indeed.

0:17:030:17:04

Now, Joel.

0:17:040:17:06

Remind us what you do, Joel.

0:17:060:17:07

I work in software branding development.

0:17:070:17:10

Designing apps?

0:17:100:17:11

-Yes.

-I mean, that's... App designer!

0:17:110:17:14

Can you call yourself that?

0:17:140:17:16

I mean, technically I design the storytelling side of it,

0:17:160:17:18

as opposed to the technical, algorithmic side of it.

0:17:180:17:21

I see. The storytelling, that's the best bit.

0:17:210:17:23

-I think so, too.

-That's the bit you see, that's the nice bit.

0:17:230:17:25

Yeah, exactly. User experience.

0:17:250:17:27

The interface, the user interface experience.

0:17:270:17:29

I'm just adding words together, I don't really know what they mean!

0:17:290:17:32

Very good. And when you're not doing that, Joel, what thrills you?

0:17:320:17:36

I enjoy playing football, badminton, and I enjoy tea as well.

0:17:360:17:42

-Tea?

-Yeah.

0:17:420:17:43

Good for you. I love tea.

0:17:430:17:45

What's your favourite? Do you have a favourite exotic tea?

0:17:450:17:48

Yeah, my favourite exotic tea is the smoky Lapsang Souchong,

0:17:480:17:52

from the northern Chinese province.

0:17:520:17:54

-Wonderful, tarry tea, isn't it?

-Yeah. Very nice.

0:17:540:17:57

Very good indeed. OK, now, Joel, there you are on 90.

0:17:570:18:00

Our high-scorers at the moment are Tash and Lina on 105.

0:18:000:18:03

If you can score 14 or less, through you go to the next round.

0:18:030:18:07

Do you want to talk us through that board?

0:18:070:18:09

OK, well, yeah,

0:18:090:18:10

the Welsh politician and leader of the Labour Party is Neil Kinnock.

0:18:100:18:14

I think other than that,

0:18:140:18:15

the only other one I know is the musician who makes up one half of

0:18:150:18:18

the electronic duo the Pet Shop Boys, and that's Neil Tennant.

0:18:180:18:21

I would imagine that people should know who an elected leader was

0:18:210:18:25

more than an electronic musician, so I will go with Neil Tennant.

0:18:250:18:30

Nice repetition of the "elect" there, in both cases.

0:18:300:18:33

Neil Tennant you're going to go for.

0:18:330:18:34

There's your red line, that is what we are aiming for.

0:18:340:18:37

Let us hope you get down there.

0:18:370:18:39

How many of our 100 people said Neil Tennant?

0:18:390:18:41

Ooh, 32!

0:18:480:18:50

APPLAUSE

0:18:500:18:52

122 is your total, Joel.

0:18:520:18:54

Good answer. It's not quite low enough.

0:18:540:18:57

Yeah, sorry, Joel, valiant effort.

0:18:570:18:58

You went for the right one of the ones you knew, as well.

0:18:580:19:01

Neil Kinnock is a much bigger scorer,

0:19:010:19:02

would have scored you 73 points.

0:19:020:19:04

The best answer on the board

0:19:040:19:06

-is the next one, the astrophysicist who is Neil deGrasse Tyson.

-Oh!

0:19:060:19:10

It's a name you know, right, but then, looking at that clue,

0:19:120:19:15

-it's hard to bring it to mind.

-Yes.

-1 point for Neil deGrasse Tyson as well.

0:19:150:19:18

The author of the sci-fi and fantasy books is the brilliant Neil Gaiman,

0:19:180:19:24

would have scored you 8 points.

0:19:240:19:25

And the drummer in Rush is Neil Peart

0:19:250:19:27

and he would have scored you 5.

0:19:270:19:29

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:19:290:19:31

At the end of our first round, the pair we're sending home

0:19:310:19:34

with a high score of 122, Joel and Iris, I'm afraid it is you.

0:19:340:19:37

Far too soon to be sending you away.

0:19:370:19:39

There's clearly great expertise within that pair

0:19:390:19:41

but I'm afraid we just haven't tapped into it on the two shows

0:19:410:19:43

you've been on but thank you so much for playing. Joel and Iris.

0:19:430:19:46

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

0:19:460:19:49

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:19:500:19:54

We're down to three pairs. That's just how it goes on Pointless.

0:19:590:20:02

At the end of this round,

0:20:020:20:03

it will get even tighter and we go down to two pairs.

0:20:030:20:05

Oh, I don't know who we'll be saying goodbye to, but, Lina,

0:20:050:20:08

fantastic work from you,

0:20:080:20:10

just 5 points with Neil Patrick Harris in that round, so congratulations.

0:20:100:20:13

Best of luck to all three pairs for Round Two.

0:20:130:20:15

Our category for it is...

0:20:150:20:19

It's one of our Words rounds.

0:20:200:20:21

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

0:20:210:20:24

who's going to go second? And whoever is going first,

0:20:240:20:26

please step up to the podium.

0:20:260:20:27

OK, let's find out what the question is.

0:20:310:20:33

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:20:330:20:39

words that fit the pattern P---E as they could. P---E.

0:20:390:20:46

We're looking for any word which has its own entry

0:20:480:20:50

in the British and World English section of oxforddictionares.com,

0:20:500:20:53

please, that fits P---E.

0:20:530:20:55

As always, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words, anything like that.

0:20:550:20:58

Very best of luck. It's fun, isn't it?

0:20:580:21:00

-Isn't it?

-I'm going to guess yours.

0:21:000:21:02

-I haven't guessed one right for ages but one of these days...

-Mm.

0:21:020:21:06

Steve, what would you like to go for?

0:21:060:21:08

-I'll go for price, P-R-I-C-E.

-Price. Perfect for someone who works in retail.

0:21:080:21:15

Price.

0:21:150:21:17

How many of our 100 people said price?

0:21:170:21:20

25.

0:21:280:21:30

APPLAUSE

0:21:300:21:31

25 for price.

0:21:330:21:34

Price meaning price.

0:21:340:21:35

-Thank you very much.

-The price of something.

0:21:350:21:38

-You know what I mean?

-I've got you.

0:21:380:21:40

-Price.

-The price, yes.

-The price is right.

-Yes.

0:21:400:21:43

In this instance.

0:21:430:21:45

Yeah. Thank you very much. Tash, what would you like to go for?

0:21:450:21:48

I think I'm going to go for prone.

0:21:480:21:52

-Prone.

-Prone.

0:21:520:21:54

Prone. Let's see how many of our 100 people went for prone.

0:21:540:21:58

3. What about that?

0:22:080:22:10

APPLAUSE

0:22:100:22:11

3 for prone.

0:22:130:22:15

Very good answer. Likely to suffer from something

0:22:150:22:17

-or to experience something regrettable.

-There we are.

0:22:170:22:21

Excellent, thank you very much indeed.

0:22:210:22:22

Now, Sarah.

0:22:220:22:24

Hi.

0:22:240:22:25

I've got a bit of a risky one.

0:22:260:22:28

Listen, you risk away.

0:22:280:22:29

-We like risk.

-You do, don't you?

0:22:290:22:31

I'm going to go for pease, as in PEASE and pease pudding.

0:22:330:22:37

-PEASE.

-I'm just hoping it's...

0:22:370:22:40

-As in pease pudding.

-Pease pudding.

0:22:400:22:42

What could possibly go wrong with that?

0:22:420:22:43

It sounds perfect.

0:22:430:22:45

From my neck of the woods, it is.

0:22:450:22:47

Pease pudding. Pease, pease, pease.

0:22:470:22:50

-It's absolutely right.

-Oh!

-Oh!

0:22:530:22:56

And look, there's your reward.

0:23:000:23:02

APPLAUSE

0:23:020:23:03

Well done, Sarah. Well done. I'm so glad that you gave pease a chance.

0:23:030:23:08

LAUGHTER

0:23:080:23:10

Yeah. Simply an archaic spelling of peas.

0:23:120:23:14

-They call it pease, like peas.

-Yeah.

-Just knocked an E off.

0:23:150:23:19

-That's extraordinary.

-There you go.

0:23:190:23:21

Thank you.

0:23:210:23:22

There we are. And scoring you 5.

0:23:220:23:24

Superb. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

0:23:240:23:27

Prone, Tash, prone,

0:23:270:23:29

very good indeed. Very good indeed.

0:23:290:23:32

Then up to 5 where we find pease,

0:23:320:23:34

Sarah and Mike, and then up to 25,

0:23:340:23:37

Steve and Adam. That's looking like

0:23:370:23:38

quite a high score now, so, Adam,

0:23:380:23:40

yes, we know what we need from you.

0:23:400:23:42

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now,

0:23:420:23:45

can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:450:23:47

OK, so, Mike, we're looking for words that fit this pattern, P---E.

0:23:500:23:56

I'm going to go for prile,

0:23:560:23:59

-P-R-I-L...

-E.

-..E.

0:23:590:24:02

Pile with an R in.

0:24:040:24:05

There we are. OK.

0:24:050:24:08

What is a prile, Mike?

0:24:080:24:09

-Three of a kind.

-Three of a kind.

0:24:090:24:12

Three aces or three threes,

0:24:120:24:14

depending on the game of your choice.

0:24:140:24:16

Is a prile? OK, there is your red line, Mike.

0:24:160:24:19

If you get below that with prile, you are through to the next round.

0:24:190:24:23

Let's see how many of our 100 people said prile.

0:24:230:24:25

Oh!

0:24:300:24:32

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Oh!

0:24:320:24:34

That, for reasons which we will discover very shortly,

0:24:340:24:38

has scored you 100 points.

0:24:380:24:40

I always love learning a new word.

0:24:400:24:42

I'm quickly going to take it out of my mental Rolodex

0:24:420:24:45

if it's not good enough for our question setters.

0:24:450:24:48

There will be a reason for that.

0:24:480:24:49

That seems very harsh but I'm sorry, Mike, 100 points.

0:24:490:24:52

It scores you 105 as your total.

0:24:520:24:54

Yeah, sorry, Mike, keep it in your Rolodex, but it's spelt P-R-I-A-L.

0:24:540:24:58

It's back in the Rolodex.

0:24:580:24:59

It comes from "pair royal," so prial and error, I'm afraid.

0:24:590:25:03

GROANS AND LAUGHTER

0:25:030:25:04

-Pair royal?

-Prial.

-Prial.

0:25:040:25:07

There we are. Now then, Lina, good news for you,

0:25:070:25:10

it means it doesn't matter what you score.

0:25:100:25:13

Let's see if you can beat Tash with her fabulous score of 3.

0:25:130:25:16

Fingers crossed. I'm going to say prose as in poetry and prose.

0:25:170:25:21

Prose. OK, as opposed to a collection of professionals.

0:25:210:25:24

I see what you mean. Yes, prose. No red line, you're already through.

0:25:240:25:27

Let's see how many of our 100 people said prose.

0:25:270:25:30

Look at that, 9.

0:25:390:25:41

Not bad at all, taking your total

0:25:410:25:42

up to a nice round 12,

0:25:420:25:44

the lowest total of the round.

0:25:440:25:46

Yes, written or spoken language in its ordinary form, prose.

0:25:460:25:51

Yes, thank you. Now, Adam,

0:25:510:25:54

there we are. That's helped you out a bit there.

0:25:540:25:57

25.

0:25:570:25:58

Your target is 79 or less.

0:25:580:26:01

I'm going to go for paine.

0:26:010:26:04

P-A-I-N-E, as in window pane.

0:26:040:26:07

P-A-I-N-E.

0:26:070:26:09

P-A-I-N-E, says Adam.

0:26:090:26:12

OK. Here is your red line.

0:26:120:26:13

You are going to go for P-A-I-N-E.

0:26:130:26:15

Let's see what happens when we say P-A-I-N-E.

0:26:150:26:19

Bad luck there, Adam.

0:26:240:26:26

Oh, a lot of relief on the far podium over there from Mike and Sarah.

0:26:260:26:31

But agony on the near podium there, Adam and Steve.

0:26:310:26:33

I'm so sorry, that scores you 100 points and takes your total to 125.

0:26:330:26:37

Yes, sorry, Adam, just P-A-N-E,

0:26:370:26:39

I'm afraid, for window pane, so it can't be accepted.

0:26:390:26:42

-What's yours?

-Pliee. Pliee.

-Pliee?

0:26:420:26:46

-How are you spelling that?

-I'm guessing. I'm hoping it's P-L-I-E-E.

0:26:460:26:52

I think it's P-L-I-E, plie.

0:26:520:26:56

-Is it really?

-Yes, it is.

0:26:560:26:58

-That's such a shame.

-There it is.

0:26:580:26:59

That's me out. I'm sorry. I'm off.

0:26:590:27:01

I'll get my stuff. I think I've got everything.

0:27:010:27:04

Cheers.

0:27:040:27:05

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

0:27:050:27:06

Oh, that's really annoying.

0:27:060:27:08

I got that and I thought, "That's it."

0:27:080:27:11

I was hoping to find something that had...a French past.

0:27:110:27:15

Like puree?

0:27:150:27:17

Exactly. That would have scored you 1 point.

0:27:170:27:19

There you go. Oh, peise, P-E-I-S-E,

0:27:190:27:22

to peise something.

0:27:220:27:23

It's a pointless answer. Very well done.

0:27:230:27:26

APPLAUSE

0:27:260:27:28

Can I just say something?

0:27:290:27:31

Don't applaud him because

0:27:310:27:33

that wasn't his first answer so you would never have known it.

0:27:330:27:35

I know, it's true.

0:27:350:27:37

You'd have been long gone. Let's take a look, shall we, at some of the pointless answers.

0:27:370:27:41

Padre, a pointless answer, would have been a good one.

0:27:410:27:44

Parse, to take a sentence apart grammatically.

0:27:440:27:46

Passe, a pointless answer.

0:27:460:27:47

Pekoe. Pixie. Podge.

0:27:470:27:51

-Yeah.

-Pogue is an Irish word for kiss.

0:27:510:27:56

-Pudge. And purge is a pointless answer.

-There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:27:560:28:00

At the end of our second round, we have to say goodbye to another of our pairs,

0:28:000:28:03

as I said at the beginning of the round.

0:28:030:28:05

Adam and Steve, I'm sorry, it is you.

0:28:050:28:07

You were nearly home and dry there.

0:28:070:28:08

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you.

0:28:080:28:10

We'll see you again next time though. We'll look forward to that very much indeed.

0:28:100:28:14

-Adam and Steve, thank you so much.

-Cheers.

0:28:140:28:15

APPLAUSE

0:28:150:28:17

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:28:170:28:20

Congratulations, Tash and Lina, Sarah and Mike,

0:28:260:28:29

you are now one step closer to the final

0:28:290:28:31

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £2,000.

0:28:310:28:35

APPLAUSE

0:28:350:28:37

Well, this is nice.

0:28:380:28:39

We've made it up to the base camp that is the head-to-head.

0:28:390:28:43

It means from here on in,

0:28:430:28:45

you are allowed to confer before you give your answers.

0:28:450:28:47

The first player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:28:470:28:50

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play this head-to-head.

0:28:500:28:53

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

0:28:590:29:02

-Richard?

-I'm going to show you pictures now of five Welsh landmarks.

0:29:060:29:09

Can you identify them, please?

0:29:090:29:12

OK, let's reveal our five Welsh landmarks and here they come.

0:29:120:29:15

There we are, five Welsh Landmarks.

0:29:470:29:50

Tash and Lina, you're our low-scorers so you will go first.

0:29:500:29:53

THEY CONFER

0:29:560:29:58

OK, we can guess one so we'll have to go for D,

0:30:000:30:05

National Library Of Wales.

0:30:050:30:08

D, the National Library Of Wales is where Tash and Lina are.

0:30:080:30:12

Now, Sarah and Mike?

0:30:120:30:14

Do you want to talk us through that board?

0:30:140:30:16

I know A is something Abbey and it's going to kill me when I know it.

0:30:160:30:22

Menai something Bridge, maybe?

0:30:220:30:25

Llandudno Pier.

0:30:250:30:26

I think D is right for the girls.

0:30:260:30:29

I think we'll go for E, Portmeirion.

0:30:290:30:31

OK, we'll go for Portmeirion.

0:30:310:30:33

So we have the National Library Of Wales and Portmeirion.

0:30:330:30:36

Tash and Lina, the National Library Of Wales, D,

0:30:360:30:38

let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:30:380:30:40

It's right.

0:30:440:30:45

25.

0:30:490:30:51

APPLAUSE

0:30:510:30:52

25 for the National Library Of Wales.

0:30:520:30:55

Sarah and Mike, meanwhile, have gone from Portmeirion for E.

0:30:550:30:57

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Portmeirion.

0:30:570:31:00

It's right.

0:31:030:31:04

Oh, and it wins you the point, just. Look at that, 23.

0:31:080:31:11

I said it would be close.

0:31:110:31:13

And it is close but very well done.

0:31:130:31:15

After one question, Sarah and Mike, you are up 1-0.

0:31:150:31:18

You were right. A is an Abbey.

0:31:180:31:20

It is Tintern Abbey.

0:31:200:31:21

Very well done if you said that, it would have scored you 13 points.

0:31:230:31:25

And it's the Menai Suspension Bridge.

0:31:270:31:29

And that would have scored 19.

0:31:300:31:32

Llandudno Pier is the biggest scorer up there,

0:31:350:31:37

it would have scored you 44.

0:31:370:31:39

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:31:410:31:43

So here comes your second question.

0:31:430:31:45

Now, Sarah and Mike get to answer it first, but, Tash and Lina,

0:31:450:31:48

you have to win this one to stay in the game, so very best of luck.

0:31:480:31:51

Our second question this afternoon is all about...

0:31:510:31:54

-Richard?

-Just five clues now to different facts about frogs and toads.

0:31:570:32:00

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:32:000:32:03

Let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

0:32:030:32:05

We have got the following...

0:32:060:32:08

I'll read those one last time.

0:32:310:32:33

Sarah and Mike will go first.

0:32:540:32:56

THEY CONFER

0:32:560:32:58

OK, we'll go for the top one, The Wind In The Willows.

0:33:030:33:07

The Wind In The Willows say Sarah and Mike.

0:33:070:33:09

The Wind In The Willows.

0:33:090:33:11

Now then, Tash and Lina,

0:33:110:33:13

do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

0:33:130:33:16

We thought the third one could be something like The Princess And The Frog but we're not sure.

0:33:160:33:20

Maybe the last one.

0:33:200:33:22

-Shall we go for that?

-Yeah, let's go for tadpole, the last one.

0:33:220:33:25

You're going to go for tadpole?

0:33:250:33:27

So we have The Wind In The Willows and we have tadpole.

0:33:270:33:29

Sarah and Mike went for The Wind In The Willows.

0:33:290:33:31

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:33:310:33:33

It's right.

0:33:370:33:38

55 for The Wind In The Willows.

0:33:410:33:43

APPLAUSE

0:33:430:33:45

Quite high there.

0:33:460:33:48

Tash and Lina, meanwhile, have gone for tadpole.

0:33:480:33:50

Let's see how many of our 100 people said tadpole.

0:33:500:33:52

It's right.

0:33:570:33:58

Oh, 77 for tadpole which means... What about that,

0:33:580:34:01

Sarah and Mike?

0:34:010:34:03

So nearly leaving us in the second round and there you go,

0:34:030:34:07

through to the final after only two questions.

0:34:070:34:09

-2-0.

-Very well played but you knew one of them.

0:34:090:34:12

It's The Princess And The Frog, was a correct answer.

0:34:120:34:14

That would have scored you 22 points as well.

0:34:140:34:17

It would have won you the point.

0:34:170:34:19

The name of the largest species,

0:34:190:34:21

there's only one real giant biblical warrior.

0:34:210:34:24

-Samson. No...

-Goliath.

0:34:240:34:27

-Oh, that one, yes, sorry, I've got you.

-You're right though,

0:34:270:34:29

there's more than one. Goliath, so it's the Goliath Frog.

0:34:290:34:32

It would have scored 24.

0:34:320:34:34

The English author, very well done if you got this.

0:34:340:34:37

-George Orwell?

-It is George Orwell, yeah, one point for that.

0:34:370:34:40

Thank you very much indeed.

0:34:400:34:41

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:34:410:34:44

I'm afraid without a point on their board,

0:34:440:34:46

though nothing wrong with either of your answers.

0:34:460:34:48

Very, very close in fact in the first answer.

0:34:480:34:50

Tash and Lina, we have to say goodbye to you.

0:34:500:34:52

It is great news, we get to see you again next time.

0:34:520:34:54

We look forward to that very much. In the meantime, thanks so much. APPLAUSE

0:34:540:34:57

Good luck, guys.

0:34:570:34:59

But for Sarah and Mike, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:590:35:03

Well, congratulations, Sarah and Mike,

0:35:060:35:08

who have fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:080:35:13

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:190:35:21

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing

0:35:210:35:24

at £2,000.

0:35:240:35:25

You owe it all to paine.

0:35:300:35:32

That's what got you here, paine.

0:35:320:35:35

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

0:35:350:35:37

It was all but over. That was it, the obituaries were being written,

0:35:370:35:40

Sarah and Mike, but then you pulled it back and not only that,

0:35:400:35:43

you were 2-0 in the head-to-head.

0:35:430:35:45

That's just extraordinary.

0:35:450:35:46

Absolutely fantastic.

0:35:460:35:48

What would you like to see come up on the board, any strong suits?

0:35:480:35:51

-Oh...

-Sport.

0:35:510:35:53

Rugby or golf would be good.

0:35:530:35:55

-Military history.

-Oh, yes, that would be good for you.

0:35:550:35:58

These all sound like very good prime Pointless categories to me.

0:35:580:36:01

You know what happens, we put four things up on the board,

0:36:010:36:03

you have to choose the one that scares you the least.

0:36:030:36:06

It's as simple as that. Let's see what today's selection looks like.

0:36:060:36:10

We've got...

0:36:100:36:12

Post-Punk Albums - good for you, Mike, I know.

0:36:120:36:14

US Crime Writers,

0:36:140:36:16

Stephen Sondheim,

0:36:160:36:18

Women's Grand Slam Tennis.

0:36:180:36:20

Oh...

0:36:200:36:22

-we might have to do the Grand Slam Tennis.

-Yeah.

0:36:220:36:25

No, I think we'll have to have a stab at that.

0:36:250:36:29

-OK, the tennis it is. Richard?

-Very best of luck.

0:36:290:36:32

We're looking for any woman who won a singles title at any

0:36:320:36:34

of the Grand Slam tournaments, that's the Australian Open,

0:36:340:36:37

French Open, Wimbledon and the US Open

0:36:370:36:39

in any of the following decades, please.

0:36:390:36:41

So any female singles Grand Slam tennis winners of the 1950s,

0:36:410:36:45

of the 1970s, or of the 1990s.

0:36:450:36:48

Very best of luck.

0:36:480:36:50

You've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:36:500:36:54

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:540:36:58

-Are you ready?

-We are ready.

-We are.

0:36:580:37:00

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

0:37:000:37:02

-There they are. Your time starts now.

-Smashing.

0:37:020:37:05

-Evonne Goolagong, '50s.

-Evonne Goolagong.

0:37:070:37:09

Um... I'm thinking '70s

0:37:090:37:12

-was all about...

-Chris Evert.

0:37:120:37:14

Chris Evert Lloyd as she was.

0:37:140:37:16

Um...

0:37:160:37:18

Oh, let's think.

0:37:180:37:20

Anne something. Anne.

0:37:200:37:23

There was Billie Jean King.

0:37:250:37:27

-OK.

-She was '70s.

0:37:270:37:29

Um...

0:37:290:37:31

Who else was in the '70s?

0:37:310:37:33

'70s is a long time ago, that's 50 years.

0:37:330:37:36

Yeah, but I'm sure '70s was Billie Jean King.

0:37:360:37:39

1990s?

0:37:390:37:41

You think about that. I can't think.

0:37:410:37:43

-Oh, gosh, it goes so quickly.

-Steffi Graf?

0:37:430:37:46

Yeah, she would be '90s.

0:37:460:37:48

-Oh, gosh.

-Davenport.

-Lindsay Davenport.

0:37:510:37:54

Ten seconds left.

0:37:540:37:55

She might be '70s.

0:37:550:37:57

-No.

-She's later. Is she '90s?

-She might be later than that.

0:37:570:38:02

Right. I'm going to go Billie Jean King.

0:38:020:38:04

That is your time up, I'm so sorry.

0:38:040:38:06

What are your answers going to be?

0:38:060:38:08

-I think let's go Evonne Goolagong for the...

-Evonne Goolagong.

0:38:080:38:13

-..'50s.

-For the '50s.

0:38:130:38:14

Lindsay Davenport.

0:38:140:38:16

I think she's more '70s.

0:38:160:38:19

You think '70s, OK.

0:38:190:38:20

-Lindsay Davenport...

-Put '70s.

0:38:200:38:23

How about Arantxa Sanchez Vicario?

0:38:230:38:26

She's just come into my head...

0:38:260:38:28

-Arantxa Sanchez Vicario.

-..for the '90s.

0:38:280:38:30

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot

0:38:300:38:32

at a pointless answer?

0:38:320:38:33

-Er...

-The last one, if it's right.

0:38:330:38:35

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario goes last.

0:38:350:38:37

The least likely to be pointless?

0:38:370:38:40

Evonne Goolagong, because I'm not sure.

0:38:400:38:42

And then Lindsay Davenport goes in the middle.

0:38:420:38:44

OK, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then

0:38:440:38:47

and here they are.

0:38:470:38:48

We've got Evonne Goolagong,

0:38:480:38:51

Lindsay Davenport

0:38:510:38:53

and Arantxa Sanchez Vicario.

0:38:530:38:56

Very, very best of luck.

0:38:560:38:58

Three good answers on the board.

0:38:580:38:59

We just have to hope they are correct and pointless.

0:38:590:39:02

If one of those works out to be pointless,

0:39:020:39:05

what will you do with your winnings?

0:39:050:39:07

You've got £2,000.

0:39:070:39:08

Our favourite place in the world is Northumberland and when we go up,

0:39:080:39:12

we take a cottage right on the beach

0:39:120:39:14

and so we'll go up there with all the family.

0:39:140:39:17

So, that would be the best thing,

0:39:170:39:19

and then we're going to Italy in September so something towards that.

0:39:190:39:22

OK, very best of luck.

0:39:220:39:24

Three good answers, as I say.

0:39:240:39:25

Your first answer was Evonne Goolagong.

0:39:250:39:28

In this case, we were looking for Grand Slam winners from the 1950s.

0:39:280:39:30

Only one of these answers has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot, remember.

0:39:300:39:34

Let's find out if it's going to be the first one, Evonne Goolagong.

0:39:340:39:36

Is it right for the 1950s?

0:39:360:39:38

How many people said it, for £2,000?

0:39:380:39:41

No, bad luck.

0:39:440:39:46

She might be '60s, actually.

0:39:460:39:48

Bad luck, not in the 1950s, I'm afraid.

0:39:480:39:50

Unfortunately not a pointless answer, which means we move swiftly on to your next answer

0:39:500:39:54

which was Lindsay Davenport.

0:39:540:39:56

In this case, we were looking for Grand Slam winners from the 1970s.

0:39:560:39:59

If this is right, and if it is pointless, it will win you £2,000.

0:39:590:40:03

How many of our 100 people said Lindsay Davenport?

0:40:030:40:05

Ouch! I'm afraid that is also an incorrect answer.

0:40:110:40:15

But we move swiftly on to your third and final answer.

0:40:150:40:17

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario was your final answer.

0:40:170:40:21

In this case, we were looking for Grand Slam winners from the 1990s.

0:40:210:40:25

If this is right and if it is pointless, it will win you £2,000.

0:40:250:40:29

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, is it pointless?

0:40:290:40:32

-It's right.

-Oh, my goodness.

0:40:360:40:38

Now, your first answer, Evonne Goolagong, was an incorrect answer.

0:40:380:40:41

Your second answer, Lindsay Davenport, was incorrect.

0:40:410:40:43

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario is absolutely right.

0:40:430:40:45

Down we go through the single figures. Still going down.

0:40:450:40:48

Oh!

0:40:480:40:49

APPLAUSE

0:40:490:40:51

Oh, no!

0:40:510:40:53

One person.

0:40:540:40:56

Who is it?

0:40:560:40:58

-One person got that.

-I'm so pleased we got one right.

0:40:580:41:00

Oh, I'm so sorry.

0:41:000:41:02

That's a great answer and to come so close must be quite painful

0:41:020:41:05

but you've been so brilliant across the show.

0:41:050:41:08

Three good answers, nothing wrong with those apart from the decades,

0:41:080:41:11

I think.

0:41:110:41:13

But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find

0:41:130:41:15

that all-important pointless answer

0:41:150:41:17

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

0:41:170:41:19

That will roll over onto the next show but it's been such a pleasure

0:41:190:41:22

-having you on. Not just for your shirt, Mike!

-Fabulous.

0:41:220:41:25

Listen, you get to take home a Pointless trophy,

0:41:250:41:27

so very, very well done for that. Sarah and Mike.

0:41:270:41:29

-Brilliant contestants.

-Thank you.

0:41:290:41:31

Yeah, very well played and a very exciting finish for us as well,

0:41:350:41:38

thank you very much. You were just out on your decades there.

0:41:380:41:41

You had Evonne Goolagong in the '50s,

0:41:410:41:42

she was born in the '50s and won six titles in the '70s.

0:41:420:41:45

Won another one in the '80s as Evonne Cawley as well, in 1980.

0:41:450:41:49

Lindsay Davenport, you had in the '70s.

0:41:490:41:51

She was born in the '70s, won two titles in the '90s

0:41:510:41:53

and won in the 2000s as well, Lindsay Davenport.

0:41:530:41:56

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

0:41:560:42:00

1950s, well done if you got some of these.

0:42:000:42:03

Althea Gibson won five titles in the '50s.

0:42:030:42:05

Angela Mortimer, the Brit.

0:42:050:42:06

Doris Hart won five titles as well.

0:42:060:42:08

Louise Brough won three.

0:42:080:42:10

Mary Carter and Thelma Long both won two Australian Open titles.

0:42:100:42:12

Shirley Fry won four titles.

0:42:120:42:14

Christine Truman, another Brit, was a pointless answer.

0:42:140:42:17

Let's move on to the '70s now.

0:42:170:42:19

Kerry Reid who won the Aussie Open.

0:42:190:42:21

Mima Jausovec, who won the French.

0:42:210:42:23

US Open, Tracy Austin was a pointless answer.

0:42:230:42:26

Now does a lot of commentary work.

0:42:260:42:28

Virginia Ruzici.

0:42:280:42:30

You also could have had Barbara Jordan and Chris O'Neill,

0:42:300:42:32

both of whom won the Australian Open in the '70s.

0:42:320:42:35

The '90s now, there's only three pointless answers here.

0:42:350:42:38

So Arantxa Sanchez Vicario was a very good answer.

0:42:380:42:40

Gabriela Sabatini, the Argentinian.

0:42:400:42:42

Iva Majoli

0:42:420:42:43

and Jana Novotna, who famously won Wimbledon,

0:42:430:42:45

and she was a pointless answer.

0:42:450:42:46

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:460:42:48

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:42:480:42:50

Well, Sarah and Mike, very sadly,

0:42:500:42:51

you didn't win our jackpot today which means it rolls over

0:42:510:42:54

onto the next show when we will be playing for £3,000.

0:42:540:42:58

APPLAUSE

0:42:580:42:59

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:43:010:43:03

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

0:43:030:43:05

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

0:43:050:43:08

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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