Episode 36 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the show that makes big winners

out of the lowest scorers. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Lisa, and this is my brother, Wayne,

-and we're both from Manchester.

-Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Kate, this is my very good friend Dorrinda.

We're from the Midlands - me from Warwick and Dorrinda from Solihull.

-Couple number three.

-I'm Tas, this is Vas.

We're ex-work colleagues, but now good friends, from London.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's Rosie, this is my husband, Paul,

and we're from a little village called Withington near Hereford.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much all of you, a very warm welcome to Pointless,

Great to have you here. We'll get to chat to each of you throughout

the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

the Machiavelli of tea-time telly, it's my Pointless friend,

it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey everybody, good afternoon.

-Oh, I like that, that's nice.

-Oh, good.

Now, we only have one returning pair from the last show

- that's Wayne and Lisa - who got knocked out in Round Two.

-Mm.

-But, amongst our newcomers,

we have, firstly, a pair of rhyming contestants, which is always nice,

always a pleasure to have. It doesn't happen very often.

-No.

-And also, we have one of those -

sometimes I set you a little task to kind of truffle someone out.

-Yeah.

-One of our new contestants is a vicar.

One of them is a vicar, but who is it?

-Shall I tell you?

-I think I have a hunch.

Paul. It's Paul. Yeah.

-Is that what you thought?

-Not who I had down as the vicar.

-Ah, well, there you go.

-There we are.

-There you go.

Fun! Now, Gary and Hayley won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000,

which I think we can all agree is a relief.

-It's lovely, yeah.

-There we are.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So remember this - the pair with the highest score at the end of each

round will be eliminated. That is it - that's all you have to remember.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Literature. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-There we are. Richard.

-We're going to show you the names

of seven books on each board, but they're missing a word,

and that word is a place name. Can you tell us what it is, please?

-14 in all to have a go at at home - good luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, we are looking for the missing place names from these book titles.

Here is our first board of seven, and it reads like this.

I shall read those all again.

Wayne, we come to you first. Welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

-Yes, Round Two last time.

-Yes.

-Oh, it was the Gloucester- Gloucestershire mix-up.

-Yeah.

Yeah. You were just one "shire" from a place in the next round.

Oh, what a shame. Now, Wayne, remind us what you do.

I'm a recruitment consultant in Manchester.

And when you're not doing that, you love keeping fit.

I do. I train tirelessly.

What sort of training do you do?

I do, like, functional gymnastic training, weight training.

You'll sometimes find me in the gym stood on my head.

You lost me at "functional"!

Oh, functional, you know like gymnastic body weight training?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-So a lot of people will...

-So lots of... On a horse?

I mean, not on a horse, but you know what I mean, on a...

No, people will find me stood on my head in the gym,

-or doing elbow stands.

-Quite scary, quite scary.

-Do you hang from those boots that you then...?

-I can do that, yeah.

I used to be called Spider-Man in my last gym.

OK. Now, Wayne, what about these missing words?

Well, basically, I know a couple, but I've got to go for the top one,

because as much as it's been a book, it's my favourite film of all time.

-Salem's Lot.

-Salem's Lot, says Wayne.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Salem's Lot.

It's right.

64. 64 for Salem's Lot. APPLAUSE

Yeah, Stephen King's second published novel, Salem's Lot.

They call me Spider-Man at the gym as well,

because I sit in the corner asleep most of the time.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Dorrinda, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-What keeps you busy up in Solihull?

-Well, I'm retired now, but I do

a huge amount of patchworking and quilting, gardening, and baking.

That's very nice. In your own garden?

-Yes.

-Is it...? Do you have a kitchen garden?

-Yes. Yes.

-What do you grow in your kitchen garden?

At the moment, beetroot, radish, tomatoes, courgettes, runner beans.

There's no radish like a home-grown radish.

Very good. Dorrinda, are you liking our books with missing place names?

Yes, there's only one that I'm not sure of.

Oh, well, this is good. This is very good.

I think I will go for the third one down, Christopher Isherwood,

-Goodbye To Berlin.

-Goodbye To Berlin, says Dorrinda.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people went with

Berlin as our missing place name.

It is absolutely right. 64 is our only score so far,

and you've passed that at speed. Look at that, down you go.

12. Very well done indeed, Dorrinda.

12 for Goodbye To Berlin. APPLAUSE

Well played, Dorrinda.

Yeah, the book that was adapted into the musical Cabaret.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Vas, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi.

-Great to have you here, from London.

-Yeah.

-And what do you do, Vas?

I work indoors as a postal worker, not on delivery, but indoors.

-Sorting?

-Getting the work out for delivery.

-I see.

-And helping run the place.

Very good indeed. And what you do when you walk out of the

-sorting office? What do you like to get up to?

-I try to keep fit

by going to the gym and swimming and I like travelling as well,

-when I get the chance.

-Very good indeed. Now, Vas,

what would you like to go for from our missing place names?

It's not a good board for me.

The ones that I know would be high-scorers.

I'm going to go for Our Man In Havana.

Our Man In Havana, the Graham Greene, says Vas.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Havana.

It's right. 64 is our high score, 12 is our low.

53 is where you end up there. Not bad at all, Vas.

Our Man In Havana. APPLAUSE

Good start. Graham Greene's younger brother was the Director General

-of the BBC.

-So he was.

Thank you very much indeed. Paul, welcome to Pointless.

-Here from Herefordshire.

-That's right.

-I wonder what you do.

-Well, the clue I suppose, is in the clothing.

Yes, I'm a vicar, or training to be a vicar.

Whereabouts are you training to be a vicar?

Just east of Hereford, so in five rural villages.

Well, there you are. So you're training -

how much more training do you have to do?

About another 18 months before I get my own parish.

OK. And you don't even know where your parish will be,

-or maybe you do?

-No, not yet, no.

-It could be anywhere?

-It could be...

Probably in the diocese, but it could be anywhere.

OK. Now, Paul, you're the last person to have this board.

I think, going from the top, I think that's From Russia With Love.

The Tony Hawks book is Round Ireland With A Fridge.

Not sure about the Looking For...

And the Karen Blixen, I would guess Out Of Africa.

But I think I'm going to go with Tony Hawks -

Round Ireland With A Fridge.

Round Ireland With A Fridge, says Paul. Wonderful book.

Lovely man, Tony Hawks.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Round Ireland With A Fridge.

That's a lovely answer. Very well done, Paul.

Look at that - 21. Very well done indeed. Second lowest answer

of the round so far. APPLAUSE

Now, Tony Hawks often gets confused with

- there's a very famous skateboarder called Tony Hawk -

and he often gets messages from him, and all of this sort of stuff.

And when he went on Celebrity Mastermind, Tony Hawks,

he chose Tony Hawk as his specialist subject.

Let's take a little look through the board.

A huge scorer, From Russia With Love, it's absolutely correct,

but would have scored you 96 points.

Big scorer at the bottom as well - Out Of Africa.

That would have scored you 57.

And the best answer on the board is John Green's Looking For...

-Alaska.

-Alaska, yeah, that's absolutely right.

Would have scored 4 points. Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

12, the best score of the pass Dorrinda, by some margin,

I might add. So Dorrinda and Kate looking very strong at this point,

as I would say are Paul and Rosie on 21,

then we travel up to 53, Vas and Tas,

and then up to 64, Wayne and Lisa.

So Lisa, you haven't seen the next board yet,

but let's hope you've got a good answer up your sleeve

that will keep you in the game. Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, well, let's put seven more books up on the board, and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

-Rosie, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Now, what do you do?

Well, most of the time I look after our little boy, Jack, who's two.

-Hello, Jack.

-But when I have a little bit of time,

I am a freelance arts administrator.

Right you are. And what does that...? What does that entail?

I help to organise arts projects for charities,

local authorities, local organisations.

-Very nice indeed.

-Mostly youth arts.

-I see, youth arts.

Now, if you can score 42 or less, you're through,

even at this early stage of this pass.

OK, well, fingers crossed.

I'm going to go for the second one from the bottom -

I'm hoping it's not too high - but I think it's Jamaica Inn.

Jamaica Inn, says Rosie. Jamaica Inn. Here's your red line. If

you can get below that with Jamaica, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jamaica Inn.

-It's right.

-That was a scary...

-Oh.

-58. I think that's OK.

79 is your total. APPLAUSE

And the title comes from a real inn that still stands on Bodmin Moor.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tas, welcome to Pointless.

So you and Vas are former workmates.

-Yeah.

-You're still in the postal service?

Yes, I'm a project manager now.

Now, Tas, what do you like getting up to when you're not working?

When I'm not working,

I'm a huge Madonna fan, so I see her when I can,

when she's over here doing concerts. I collect everything.

-What's your favourite era of Madonna?

-Erotica, 1992.

I see. OK, not a second's hesitation there, absolutely that was the one.

Now, Tas, what would you like to go for?

You're on 53. If you could score 25 or less,

you're comfortably into the next round.

Not my strongest subject.

Looking at the board, the only one I can fathom a guess at is probably

A Passage To India.

A Passage To India, there we are, the E M Forster.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that with India, you are into Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said A Passage To India.

It's right.

Oi! 87, caught me unawares there.

APPLAUSE 87, quite a big score there.

140 is your total, but you've certainly kept yourselves

in the game for now, Tas, 140.

E M Forster was nominated for the Nobel Prize for Literature

-14 different times. Never won it.

-There we are.

Now, Kate.

I have tremendous news for you, Kate, in the form of this -

you are through to the next round,

thanks to Dorrinda's lovely low scoring in the first pass,

it doesn't matter what you score,

which takes a little bit of pressure off.

But Kate, first, tell me about Warwick.

-Tell me what you like getting up to there.

-I enjoy looking at

historical places, National Trust places, and so on.

I Morris dance, which most people wouldn't admit to.

Stop the clocks, stop the clocks right there!

How often do you Morris dance?

Well, in fact, tomorrow I shall be Morris dancing,

starting at eight o'clock in the morning.

That's exciting and fun. Now then, Kate, you're on 12.

You're through, it doesn't matter what you score.

What would you like to go for?

Well, I'm very tempted to have a guess on the fourth one down,

but I want to try and add to Dorrinda's low score,

so I'm going to say, for the John Irving novel,

The Hotel New Hampshire.

The Hotel New Hampshire, says Kate.

No red line for you for the lovely reason that you already through.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said The Hotel New Hampshire.

It's right.

Oh, that's a fantastic answer! Look at that!

APPLAUSE Kate and Dorrinda, my goodness,

on podium two, you're on fire! 13 is your total.

-Very impressive it is, too.

-Yeah, wonderful author, John Irving.

Made into a film, like lots of his novels were, in 1984.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, then, Lisa.

Ooh, well, things have changed a little bit, the landscape

has shifted, which means you are very much in with a chance now.

Yes, it looked like you were out in front by quite a margin.

Now it's Tas and Vas out in front, and you can score 75 or less to get

through to the next round. Now, Lisa, remind us what you do.

-I'm a planning administrator.

-For services, for the...

Yeah, service leads for gas, water and electricity.

-We co-ordinate the projects.

-And what are your interests, Lisa?

I particularly like singing,

which is a shared interest of mine and Wayne's.

-In a choir?

-No, we were both a self-contained singing act.

Well, what...? You didn't tell us at all about this!

Oh, the keep fit, the singing! What were you called?

We were called - it's a little bit cheesy -

-but we were called Take Two.

-Take Two.

-Yeah.

OK, Lisa, what would you like to go for?

Remember, 75 is your target.

Well, the ones that I knew on the board, they've gone now,

so the only one that I'm left with is The Amityville Horror.

The Amityville Horror is what you're going to go for, OK.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Amityville Horror.

You're through.

39 is what that scores. It takes your total up to 103.

APPLAUSE

It sees you comfortably through. Very well done indeed, Lisa.

Well played, yes, it sold over three million copies worldwide,

and was made into a film as well, of course.

I suspect you can fill these in quite neatly.

-The Last King of...?

-The Last King of Scotland.

The Last King of Scotland. A big scorer, 54.

London Fields.

London Fields, Martin Amis. That's a low scorer - 7 points.

-And Homage To...

-Homage To Catalonia.

Yep, by George Orwell. That would have scored you 18.

So the best answer on the board is Hotel New Hampshire.

-Well played.

-Very good. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 140, Tas and Vas, I'm sorry, it is you.

Lovely low score in the first pass there, it's just Passage To India -

everybody seemed to land on that one.

But anyway, we'll see you again next time, Tas and Vas,

when I'm sure you'll do much better. In the meantime,

thanks very much for playing. Tas and Vas.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll say goodbye to another pair,

in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, the big story is Kate and Dorrinda and their amazing low score

there, so very, very well done to you.

Best of luck to all three pairs for this round, though.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Football. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Football clubs with an L in their name. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any English league club in the top four

flights in the 2015-16 season, please, with an L in their name.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, Lisa, we come to you.

I'm not good at football. It's not me strongest subject.

You don't have to play it, you just have to name a team!

I know a really obvious one.

I'm going to go Arsenal. I'm going to play safe.

You're going to go for Arsenal, OK.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Arsenal.

It's right.

57 for Arsenal. APPLAUSE

Yeah, Arsenal, they've got an L right at the end, haven't they?

-Spotted it, got it.

-Exactly right.

There it is. Thanks very much indeed.

Dorrinda, what would you like to go for?

Erm...

I think I'd like to go for Millwall.

Millwall, says Dorrinda.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Millwall.

It's right.

Well, it beats 57.

And it goes 14, very well done indeed, Dorrinda.

APPLAUSE

And I have to say, Dorrinda,

when we were asking for a club with an L in their name -

there's an awful lot in Millwall.

Millwall is 50% L!

Four out of eight letters - that's a lot.

A lot of L. And still only 14 people got it.

I mean, how much more L do you want?

I know. What do you want them to be called, "Lillwall"?

-Thank you very much indeed. Rosie.

-Hello.

-Rosie, what would you like to go for?

-Well, sport's not great,

but naming football clubs is probably the best part of sport,

for me. So I'm going to go for Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Wolverhampton Wanderers says Rosie,

getting you universal nods from the assembled company.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right. Now, 57 is our high score, 14 is our low.

Wolverhampton Wanderers takes you down

to 14 - you've joined Dorrinda and Kate.

APPLAUSE Very well done.

Yes, one of the founding members of the Football League,

Wolverhampton Wanderers, and they've got L as their third letter.

-That's where they've chosen to put their L.

-There it is.

I've got it, yeah. Got it. Thank you very much indeed.

Well, we're halfway through the round. Let's take a look

at those scores. Two scores on 14, very well done Rosie and Paul,

and Dorrinda and Kate. There you are, like as you lie on 14.

Then we travel quite a way up to 57, where we find Lisa and Wayne.

Wayne, something tells me you won't know anything at all about football,

I just don't know. Let's hope you've got

a nice low-scoring answer up your sleeve, Wayne,

that will keep you in the game.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Paul, remember we are looking for the name of any

football club with an L in its name.

Yes, again, football's not great for us,

but I think I'm going to try Aston Villa.

Aston Villa, says Paul.

Here is your red line. If you can get below that, or near that,

near that with Aston Villa, you're still in with a good shout.

But below that, you're definitely through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Aston Villa.

It's right.

Look at that, very well done indeed.

Through you go. 30. APPLAUSE

44 is your total.

Yeah, 30 points, and in that season they were relegated from the

Premier League for the first time in around about 30 years as well.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, then, Kate.

Kate, once again, same target as Rosie and Paul had - 42.

This is about the worst category I can imagine.

However, I'm thinking that Walsall is my best answer.

Walsall is what you're going to go for. OK, here is your red line.

If you get below that with Walsall,

you skip through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Walsall.

It's right.

Gets you through.

But look how far down it goes!

Look at that, Kate! APPLAUSE

It turns out that's the best score of the round so far - 9 -

taking your total up to 23.

Also pretty heavy on the Ls as well.

Between the two of you, you've had seven Ls!

Thank you very much, Richard. Wayne, I have grave tidings.

Your score is, even before you've given your dazzling answer,

which I have absolutely no doubt will be pointless...

There's no easy way to tell you, I'm afraid.

You will be leaving at the end of this round.

-Yeah.

-OK. Wayne, what answer will you be giving?

As you correctly predicted, I know nothing about football.

I know the obvious bits and bobs,

but I have actually seen a football match in my time,

when I did a sports coaching course years ago, and that was in Rochdale,

-so I'm going to say Rochdale.

-Rochdale. OK.

Let's see. No red line for you, I'm afraid,

-as you're going to be the high-scorers come what may.

-Yep.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Rochdale.

It's right.

Now, 9 was our low score to this point. Rochdale...

Look at that, down to 1! Very well done indeed, Wayne.

APPLAUSE I knew you had it in you.

That takes your score up to 58.

Yeah, so that's a great way to leave the round.

They hold the record for the longest time spent in the lowest league

of English football. From 1974 through to 2010 -

36 years in the lowest league.

They're no longer in it, though, so that's good news.

They went up. Now, before we go on to the pointless answers

- there's a few pointless answers - I'll take you through some of the

low scorers. 4 for Barnsley and AFC Wimbledon,

3 for Yeovil Town,

2 for Wigan Athletic, Sheffield Wednesday and Gillingham,

1 for Port Vale, Crawley Town, Burton Albion,

Oldham Athletic, and Sheffield United. And now

here's the pointless answers. Well done if you said one of these.

Brighton & Hove Albion. Must be because it's right at the end there.

Again, sort of hidden away in Chesterfield, isn't it?

Those are the pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the top three, the most common answers.

And top of the shop, Liverpool, two Ls there, on 82.

If they didn't have Ls, they'd be called "Iverpoo".

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

the pair who'll be heading home with their high score of 58,

it's Wayne and Lisa. I'm afraid this time you really will be

heading home. This is it - this is where we say goodbye.

It's been such good fun having you on the show,

thank you so much for playing. Wayne and Lisa, great contestants.

-Thank you. Cheers.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it is now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Kate and Dorrinda, Rosie and Paul,

you are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for

our jackpot, which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, it's lovely to make it to the head-to-head because it means

you can confer before you give your answers, which takes quite a lot

of pressure off. It means we can all just relax a little bit more,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for

that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

No clues there, Paul!

-Richard.

-If he's up there and you don't get him,

it's going to be awkward!

I'll be in trouble. I'll be in trouble.

I'm going to show you five pictures now of people with the initials JC.

Can you identify these people, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five JCs,

and here they come.

There we are. Five JCs.

Now, Kate and Dorrinda, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

I know C, D and E.

-James Caan.

-Let's go with him.

We'd like to say, for A, James Caan.

James Caan, say Kate and Dorrinda.

James Caan. Now, Rosie and Paul, that board is all yours.

-Would you like to talk us through it?

-Hmm!

We don't know B, do we?

I think I know her first name, and her second name begins with C,

but doesn't really help, does it?

C is Jilly Cooper, we're agreed on that, D is Jackie Chan,

and E, I think, is Johnny Cash.

And I think that's probably the best of the remaining answers we know.

-So, E, Johnny Cash.

-OK, E Johnny Cash.

So we have A, James Caan, and E, Johnny Cash.

Kate and Dorrinda said that A was James Caan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said James Caan.

It's right.

23. APPLAUSE

23 for James Caan. Now then, Rosie and Paul,

that's what you have to try and beat with Johnny Cash, for E.

Let's see if that's right. How many of our 100 people said it?

It is right.

42 for Johnny Cash. APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Kate and Dorrinda, after one question,

you are up 1-0.

Yes, a good answer, and you chose the best of the remaining answers.

B is Jennifer...

-Connelly?

-Connelly, is exactly right.

Jennifer Connelly. And she would have scored you 10 points.

C, you're right, is Jilly Cooper.

She would have scored you 50 points.

And D, Jackie Chan.

-He would have scored 62.

-Do you know...?

Looking at Jackie Chan there, I was thinking he was going to

be a sort of concert pianist. Do you know what I mean?

He's probably playing a kung fu concert pianist in the film.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, now here comes your second question.

Rosie and Paul, this is your chance to shine. You get to answer first.

But - little bit of pressure here -

if you don't win this question, we say goodbye to you.

Good luck. Our second question today is all about...

It just seems skewed slightly in someone's favour here!

Hold on a minute!

-JC and weddings!

-JC and weddings.

Goodness me. Yeah, we're going to give you five clues now to facts

about weddings. Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, thank you very much indeed. Here are our five facts.

We have got...

I shall read those all again.

Rosie and Paul, it's over to you.

-I think I know them all. The film?

-The film is probably the best one.

We think we know them all.

We hope that we're right,

and the second answer, which is the one we're going to go for,

is Muriel's Wedding.

Muriel's Wedding, say Rosie and Paul. Muriel's Wedding. Now, then,

Kate and Dorrinda, the board is all yours. Would you like to talk us

-through it?

-Well, the first one is something blue. The third one...

It's either Westminster Abbey or St Paul's Cathedral.

One of those. The next one's Gretna Green.

-The final one is either...

-Jewish.

It is Jewish? I wasn't sure if it was Russian Orthodox.

I think that's probably the best next answer,

so we'll go for the final one, and say Jewish.

OK, you're going to say Jewish, or Judaism. Let's see if that's right.

So we have Muriel's Wedding and Judaism.

Rosie and Paul said Muriel's Wedding first. Let's see how that does.

Muriel's Wedding.

It should be, though.

-It's right.

-It's right, excellent.

14 for Muriel's Wedding. APPLAUSE

That looks like a good score to me.

Have you done enough to keep yourselves in the game?

Kate and Dorrinda have gone for Judaism for the last one.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Judaism.

It's right.

44. APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Rosie and Paul,

you're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Very nicely played.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

90 points for that.

It WAS St Paul's Cathedral or Westminster Abbey,

because it was Westminster Abbey.

That would have scored you 32.

-And...

-Gretna Green.

-Yeah. That would have scored 68.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

Yep, if you don't know who Oliver Postgate is,

he is the Bishop of Hereford.

He's actually our son's favourite TV maker.

Oh, is he? Uh-oh. Yeah, erm...

The maker of many, many classic animated TV series.

We're going to show you the titles of five of them now, but we've

missed out alternate letters. Can you fill in the gaps and tell us

the names of these TV series, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five Oliver Postgate

TV series, and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

Kate and Dorrinda, we will come to you first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Er, we'll go for the third one down, please. We think it's The Pingwings.

The Pingwings.

OK. Now, Rosie and Paul.

Well, the top one is Bagpuss.

That's certainly the case.

The bottom one is Ivor The Engine, which is his favourite...

Absolute favourite.

Absolute favourite thing to watch on television.

And inspiration isn't striking on any of the other ones,

-so I think, for Jack, we kind of have to say...

-Ivor The Engine.

Ivor The Engine. So we have The Pingwings,

and we have Ivor The Engine.

Kate and Dorrinda went with The Pingwings.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

-It's right.

-Wasn't sure it was right!

Oh, that's a good answer, look at that, down it goes to 2.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Kate and Dorrinda.

I suspect that was probably the lowest scoring answer on the board,

but anyway, we shall discover. Rosie and Paul, meanwhile, have gone for

Ivor The Engine. Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

33 for Ivor The Engine. APPLAUSE

But very well done indeed, Kate and Dorrinda.

That means, after three questions, you are through to the final 2-1.

Yeah, and you've made Jack very happy, which is lovely.

He'll be very pleased. Funnily enough, that isn't the best score

on the board. We'll get onto what is in a moment.

The top one is, of course, Bagpuss. It's a big scorer.

Would have scored 48.

The second to bottom one - the letters are slightly confusing,

because it's very, very famous, but it scores very lowly.

-The Clangers.

-The Clangers, yeah.

It would have scored you 11 points.

Now, this is a pointless answer.

-It's The something Of Neptune, clearly.

-Seas?

Not seas. Oh, that's a good one. I thought maybe star.

It's not that. It's The Seal Of Neptune.

-Oh, The Seal Of Neptune.

-That's a pointless answer,

-so very well done if you said that.

-There you go.

Well, thank you very much indeed. So the pair leaving us at the end

of the head-to-head round, Rosie and Paul, I'm afraid it is you.

It's good news, really, because it means we get to see you again.

-That's true.

-Otherwise, it would all have been over

-in just one appearance.

-Every cloud.

-Exactly. You shall be back.

And we'll look forward to that very much indeed,

and I'm sure you'll take it one step further when you are back.

But, meantime, thanks very much for playing. Rosie and Paul.

APPLAUSE

But for Kate and Dorrinda, it is now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Kate and Dorrinda, you have fought off

all the competition, and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, this, in many ways, is wonderful.

You've done incredibly well. You've been our low scorers

in every single round. And then 2-1 in the head-to-head.

What would you like to see come up.

-Dorrinda, I'm going to ask you first.

-The films of Tommy Lee Jones.

Ah! What a fantastic, and slightly unexpected, answer.

Kate, how about you?

Erm... Any 1950s sort of films, with the Ealing comedies,

the Margaret Rutherford films, those sort of films.

Perfect. Well very, very best of luck.

Let's have a look and see what's on the board behind me. Let's hope

there's something up there that's a bit like what you've just asked for.

Anyway, let's see.

Oh, hang on! Classic 1940s cinema!

I used to be a science teacher.

Oh, you're torn!

It's your choice.

Well, biology, chemistry, physics...

Erm, I think that, if you're happy with that...

-Yes, if you're happy to do that.

-Got to go with the science.

Biology, chemistry and physics, please.

OK, very good. Biology, chemistry and physics it is.

OK. Very best of luck. Were you general science, all of science,

-or...?

-Biology specifically, but up to GCSE with the other two.

OK, very, very best of luck. OK, here are your three questions.

We're looking for any of the 27 known moons of Uranus.

We are looking for any of the constituent bones of the human

skull, that's the cranium or the face, 22 bones, 14 different names,

looking for any of those 14 names.

Or we are looking for any element

whose atomic number is higher than 75, so 76 or above,

and that's in June 2016 please.

So the moons of Uranus, the constituent bones of the human

skull, or elements whose atomic number is higher than 75.

Very best of luck for many reasons.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with

three answers. All you need to win that jackpot is for just

one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes, as ready as we'll ever be.

-Yes!

OK. So, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Er, no moons of Uranus,

don't know any of them.

Bones of the human skull,

the mandible, you remember this...

There's the anvil, the stirrup...

That's what I'm not sure is included

because they're not really part of

the actual skull.

Higher than 75.

Uranium, Mendelevium,

I think, Californium,

want to go with those three?

Because the mandible is probably one

of the main...

Forgotten what I said now.

Yes, you said for the...

-And then we said...

-Uranium,

Mendelevium, Californium.

I think those three.

We're going to go for the elements.

Are you happy? Stop the clock?

Look at that. Stopping the clock.

Haven't done that for a LONG time.

Kate and Dorrinda,

let's have your three answers.

Right, they are all for the third category -

elements whose atomic number is higher than 75. OK.

Mendelevium, Californium and Uranium.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Californium.

-Californium goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Uranium.

-Uranium. Mendelevium goes in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We have got Uranium, Mendelevium

and Californium. Well, very, very best of luck.

Three good answers. And if one of those turns out to be pointless

and were to win you that jackpot, what would you like to do with it?

Kate, £1,000.

Well, I'm in the process of buying a camper van, so most of it would go

into a camper van fund, and I'd also give a donation to charity.

Very good indeed. Dorrinda, how about you?

I think my husband and I would like another city break somewhere,

because we like travelling.

Very nice indeed. OK, well, best of luck.

Three good answers. As I say, your first answer was Uranium.

In this case, in fact, in all three cases,

we are looking for elements whose atomic number is higher than 75.

You've gone for Uranium. Let's find out if that's right.

If it is right and it is pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many people said Uranium?

It is right. Now, if Uranium takes us all the way down to 0,

you will leave here with £1,000. Down we go.

Through the 30s,

into the 20s,

into the teens.

Oh, 16. OK. APPLAUSE

Well, this is good. It shows we're in the right area

of the atomic table. The periodic table, I suppose.

So there we are. Very, very good indeed.

Not that I doubted you for a second, Kate, you understand!

You only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Mendelevium, and again, we were looking for

elements whose atomic number is higher than 75.

Let's find out how many people said Mendelevium.

If it goes down to nothing, you leave here with £1,000.

How many people said Mendelevium?

It, too, is correct.

Uranium, your first answer, took us down to 16.

Mendelevium takes us down through the 30s and through the 20s.

Down through the teens, we've passed 16.

We go down, single figures, we're still going down.

Down we go. Mendelevium takes us down to...

1! APPLAUSE

-Ooh, that's exciting.

-Classic Pointless finish.

There we go. Well, look, there we are.

We're going in the right direction. We're going down from 16 to 1.

Lot of pressure now on Californium, your third and final answer.

And again, we are looking for elements whose atomic number is

higher than 75. If Californium turns out to be pointless,

you leave here with £1,000. How many people said Californium?

It's right.

Uranium took us down to 16.

Mendelevium took us down to 1.

Californium now takes us down through the 20s, into the teens.

Down we go. We've passed 16.

We're going down, single figures, we're going...

Oh, 5.

APPLAUSE

I tell you what - three brilliant answers there.

Think how pleased you'd be with any of those scores in normal gameplay,

so very, very strong answering. And down to 1 with Mendelevium!

Just tantalisingly close. I'm afraid, though,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But you can carry your Pointless trophies proudly above your heads.

Richly, richly deserved. Low scorers in every single round.

And acquitted yourselves incredibly well in this last round,

so very well done. Kate and Dorrinda, a great pleasure to

-have you on the show, very well done.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, terrific performance throughout, very well done.

You were very unlucky with Mendelevium because there were 26

pointless answers on that chemistry one, and I don't think you used

your whole 60 seconds, which you would... Every single student you've

ever had, you always tell them, use your entire time in the exam!

You know that you do. But we'll start with the moons of Uranus.

There are lots of pointless answers here.

Well done if you said any of the following.

You could have had Bianca, Caliban, Cordelia, Ferdinand, Francisco, Mab,

Perdita, Stephano or Trinculo.

All of those are pointless answers, Well done if you said any of those.

Mandible, you were going to go for, for bones of the human skull.

Would have scored you 6 points, so you did well to avoid it.

Palatine, sphenoid or vomer - all of those were pointless answers.

Well done if you said any of those. Now these elements.

Now, you've been getting good at chemical elements.

-Oh, yes.

-What would you say here?

Well, I'd always go with Protactinium.

Which was a pointless answer, Protactinium.

-Yeah, very well done!

-APPLAUSE

And there's lots more as well.

You could have had Actinium, Americium, Astatine, Berkelium,

Bismuth, you could have had.

Copernicium, Darmstadtium, Fermium, Francium, Hassium, Iridium,

Lawrencium, Livermorium - two of our favourites there - Meitnerium

Neptunium, Osmium - my favourite - Radon, Roentgenium, Seaborgium,

or Thorium. So loads and loads of pointless answers.

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

and a terrific performance in the studio.

Thanks, Richard, and thanks so much Kate and Dorrinda.

Sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today, which means it rolls over

onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me - goodbye.

APPLAUSE