Episode 21 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name's Pauline, this is my husband Ian,

and we're both from County Durham.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Tania, this is my husband Carl,

and we're both from Ruislip.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name's Tilda, and this is my brother-in-law Tom,

and we come from Lytham St Annes.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, I'm Sean, this is my wife Mara, and we come from Birmingham.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you, a very warm welcome to Pointless,

lovely to have you all here. We will get to chat to you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He is big and he is clever.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

-Hi, everybody.

-Hiya.

-Hello there.

-Hello.

So many familiar faces back with us. Three returning pairs, how lovely.

-Feels like a reunion.

-Doesn't it?

-From the last show.

I like that the new people have just moved into podium four.

-I think they are going to fit in perfectly.

-I think so.

They seem lovely. They do, they seem delightful.

We popped over there just to say hello beforehand.

Yes, absolutely. They could not have been more hospitable.

-They were lovely!

-They are going to fit right in,

everyone else, don't you worry about that.

Ian and Pauline, welcome back, got through to the head-to-head.

Round One for Tania and Carl, I'm afraid,

so fingers crossed we will see a bit more of you this time.

Tom and Tilda, very well played last time, through to Round Two.

Steve and Josh, the only people who are no longer with us,

they had the jackpot round

on the London Underground stations for £4,750.

Yeah, oh...

And they didn't win it,

so that makes the party even better, doesn't it?

-Good luck, everybody.

-Yes, yes, yes.

So basically what happens, therefore, is we add another £1,000

to the jackpot from last time, so today's jackpot starts off at...

CHEERING

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

You just have to remember this,

the pair with the highest scorer at the end of each round

will be eliminated. That is all you have to remember.

Very, very best of luck to all of you.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you seven UK top 40 hits on each board,

they have all got long titles,

that's how we've grouped them together.

You just need to tell us which band or artist

had a UK top 40 hit with these songs, please. Good luck.

OK, and I have now got to read them out.

See you in ten minutes.

Here is our first board...

I'm going to read those again.

Ian, welcome back to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here from Consett.

Remind us what you do, Ian.

I work for a large motor manufacturer

in the north-east of England.

There we are. Wow, and fun?

Yes, yes. I'm seeing the last of my days out, hopefully.

And what are your interests?

I do a lot of cycling, I do a lot of running, just try and keep fit,

-just keep myself ticking over.

-He is in good shape, Ian.

Yeah, he's in good shape. But not just the moustache.

Not just the moustache. That is in good shape, too.

Ian, what would you like to go for on our board?

Right, I know quite a few of these.

Obviously cannot say who they are,

but I'm going to go for It's The End Of The World As We Know It,

(And I Feel Fine), and that is R.E.M.

R.E.M, says Ian. Let's see how many of our 100 people said R.E.M.

It is R.E.M.

26.

Good start to the round. Well done, Ian.

Yeah, a wonderful song to start the round with as well,

the R.E.M song, terrific stuff.

It wasn't a hit first time around, and just scraped the top 40 in 1991.

-Number 39.

-Wow!

-Yeah.

-Good song. Thank you. Tania, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Remind us what you do, Tania.

I'm a secondary school teacher.

That is right. What are your interests?

I like modern films, so I like Spanish films, French films,

I like watching those in my free time,

spending time with my son, so...

So, modern films, I'm just thinking, when you said modern films,

that's not the same thing as new releases, by no means?

No, I was thinking sort of modern foreign language films.

Yes, I see, of course. Tania teaches languages.

Yeah, I know. Brilliant.

Yes, so you go to films in arthouse cinemas?

-Occasionally.

-Very good.

Very nice. Now, Tania.

-Yes.

-How are you liking the board behind me?

-Extremely long.

-Not liking the board, because...

-Loving it!

-No.

I did know the R.E.M one.

I don't know any others.

So I'm going to have to guess, completely out of the blue.

So I will say Etta James for I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues.

Etta James, says Tania.

Let's see what happens when we say Etta James.

No, I'm sorry, Tania.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points.

Maybe it will not be the last 100 points of the round.

Sorry, Tania. I tell you what, she would do a great version of it,

-or she would have done a great version of it.

-She sure would.

-Etta James.

-Yeah. Thank you very much, Richard.

Tom, welcome back to Pointless. Remind us what you do.

Financial controller, or accountant.

That's right, up in Lytham Saint Anne's.

-That's right.

-Very good, and what do you like getting up to

when you are not doing that?

I'm a keen follower of Blackpool Football Club,

and it is like they have pulled defeat out of the jaws of victory

over the last four or five years, they are in a real mess.

But you've got to do something on a Saturday afternoon

and shopping is not going to be it!

No. Well said, Tom.

What would you like to go for on our board?

Well, I know one on there.

Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree,

Tony Orlando and Dawn, I think it was.

Tony Orlando and Dawn, says Tom.

Tony Orlando and Dawn, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right!

Well, 100 was our high score, and you have passed that immediately.

26 is our lowest score,

and you have passed that as well.

23.

Very well done indeed.

Yeah, L Russell Brown, who wrote the song,

he was inspired to do it when he heard exactly the story

about handkerchiefs being tied to a tree, but that story...

Someone said, look, don't say handkerchiefs,

because they are for blowing your nose on,

and also they don't scan very well.

No. Also, a yellow handkerchief, you're not thinking of it...

-You know.

-Oh, yeah. Maybe it started white.

Yeah. There we are. Thank you very much, Richard.

Sean, a warm welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here from Birmingham.

-Thank you.

-And what do you do, Sean?

I am a doctor, so I work for a large health service

-which covers most, if not all, of the nation.

-Oh, wow!

I work for a large health service.

That's exactly it. Are you in a hospital or in a surgery, or...?

I work in paediatrics, so I work in a hospital.

Very good, and what are your interests, Sean?

When I am not also suffering as a Blackpool fan,

I am trying to get myself in better shape,

so working out a lot and trying to eat a bit better

-and things like that.

-How long have you been doing that for?

Not very long. Not very long.

But that's good, you're still in the early zeal stage.

-Indeed.

-Yes, I have been in that stage a few times.

Yeah. Oh. But, no, that's good. Keep that up.

-Trying, trying.

-That might be fantastic.

So what exercise do you take?

We are doing... We're both doing a couple of home fitness programmes,

so competing with each other, which is very healthy.

Very good.

Now, Sean, this board,

it still has some unanswered questions on it.

It still has some unanswered questions which I think I know.

-Good.

-Which is promising.

-Talk us through it.

I can talk you through the first almost half.

I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, I believe, is Sir Elton John.

But the only other one I know, which I'm going to go for,

is If You Tolerate This, Your Children Will Be Next,

which I believe is the Manic Street Preachers.

-And that will be your answer?

-Yes, please.

Manic Street Preachers, says Sean. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people knew it.

It is right.

23 is still our low score.

And you land on it.

Joint low scorers in this pass.

Very well done indeed, Sean.

Yeah, very well played - the mighty Manics.

That was genuinely the song that was playing on the radio

before my daughter was born.

It was literally the last song that was played before she was born,

and in that year as well, which tells you how old she is.

Now, Elton John, you're absolutely right.

Although you very kindly called him Sir Elton John, which is classy,

a very classy thing to do.

You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth was Meat Loaf.

-Yes.

-Early Meat Loaf.

34 for that. Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea...

-Max Bygraves.

-Max Bygraves, 10 points for that.

And, I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man...

-Prince.

-Prince, yeah. That's the best answer on the board,

2 points. Very well done if you said Prince.

Thanks very much indeed. We're halfway through the round,

let's have a little recap of our scores.

23 the best score of that pass, very well done, Tom and Sean.

26, where we find Ian and Pauline.

Then it's quite a hike, I'm afraid, up to 100,

where we find Tania and Carl.

Carl, you know what we need from you.

Fingers crossed it will be enough.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more unfeasibly large songs up on the board.

And we have got...

I will read those again.

-Mara.

-Yes.

Mara, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-It's great to have you here.

What do you do, Mara?

I am an online merchandiser for a fashion company.

Fun. Do you do that sort of freelance, or no?

No, I work for a large retailer.

Oh, I see. And it's a large, well-known retailer,

but you do the online side of it.

-Yes.

-Right.

Mara, I can't help noticing

you sound like you're not from Birmingham.

I'm not.

I'm from Boston.

From Boston, how long have you lived over here?

I've lived over here for four years.

OK.

Have your tastes until now been quite Anglophile, would you say?

Yes, I suppose you could say that.

OK, good.

Are you liking this board?

I'm glad that I'm the first person to go.

Good. Well, you've been set up very well by Sean,

lovely low score there.

76 is your target, 76 or less and you go through.

OK, I'm not sure if this is going to be 76 or less,

but I think I will go for, I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor,

which I believe is the Arctic Monkeys.

You are getting such a lovely nod there from Sean,

he was so proud of that.

Now, here's your red line, if you get below that red line

with Arctic Monkeys, you are into the next round.

How many people said the Arctic Monkeys?

It's right. And it's true.

24.

24, takes your total up to 47.

Normally, I say, "It's right", when the thing goes off,

and then when it gets to the red line, I say, "And you're through".

-Yeah.

-That time, for reasons best known to my brain,

I said, "It's right. And it's true!"

-That's rather nice.

-So it's both of those things.

Because it is true, I bet you do look good on the dance floor,

-that's the thing.

-There you are.

-Very good answer.

There's a lovely, genuinely good cover version of that song

by the Sugababes.

You wouldn't think it, but it is a terrific version of it.

-It's a great song.

-I know, it's a great song.

Now, then, Tilda, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you like getting up to, Tilda.

I like playing chess, I play that online,

because I don't know anybody good enough to play it.

There's fighting talk!

There are chess masters in Lytham Saint Anne's right now

sitting up and going...

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

-Well, I don't know them.

But, no, you're good?

Well, I'm...

How do you do when you're playing against your online opponent?

Is it an actual person you're playing, or is it...?

Yes, it's a person. But also I do play against the computer,

but you can set the computer to how hard you want it,

so when I start losing, I just make it easier.

Quite right. Now, Tilda, you're on 23.

Your target is also 76.

What would you like to go for?

Well, there's about three that I know.

I'm getting two a bit confused.

I'm going to play safe again, and I'm going to say,

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going.

And I think it is Billy Ocean.

Billy Ocean, says Tilda.

Here is your red line, if you can get below this with Billy Ocean,

you are home and dry.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Billy Ocean.

It's right. And you are through.

38 is your score.

61 is your total.

Well played, Tilda.

Used as the theme tune to Jewel Of The Nile.

Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito in the film,

they all lip-sync in the video as well.

They did, and they had Danny DeVito playing the sax solo.

-Yeah.

-It was fun, that, because the sax

was just a tiny bit bigger than him.

Anyway, there we are. Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Carl. Oh, Carl.

Oh, Carl indeed.

Oh. Well, I'm looking at Pauline,

to try and read her to see if she has got a good answer or not.

And I just... She is giving nothing away,

other than she is shaking her head.

But, no... She's giving nothing away.

Carl, you know what we need from you.

It has to be a low scorer.

Carl, quickly, before you do that, remind us what you do.

I'm a project manager for my local council.

For your local council, that's right.

And your interests, Carl.

I'm quite a keen Blackpool fan.

I'm not, really.

No, I am quite a big football fan.

I like to play when I can,

I play every week on a Sunday.

It's the time of day I'm allowed to be let off daddy duties

and go and run around the pitch like a maniac for a couple of hours.

And then crash on the sofa when I get home.

Very good. Now, Carl, you know what we need.

What is going to score you a properly low score, I wonder, there?

Yes, this is a terrible one for me, I knew Arctic Monkeys,

so I'm just going to have to have a stab.

I'm going to go with,

I Don't Know What You Want, But I Can't Give It Any More.

It sounds like a power ballad that a woman would sing, so I will say...

-..Celine Dion.

-Celine Dion.

I Don't Know What You Want, But I Can't Give It Any More.

No red line for you, you're the high scorers.

How far down the column, I wonder, will we get with Celine Dion?

No, I'm afraid not, Carl. But it was a game effort there.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

Yeah, I liked your thinking.

I did like your thinking. That sounds kind of reasonable.

But, yeah, not Celine Dion, I'm afraid.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, Pauline.

Welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Pauline.

I work in a leisure centre in Consett.

That's right, but you don't work in the leisure side of it,

-you are hard at work.

-No, administration, business support.

How many people do the administration?

Just myself, mainly.

We have a head office where there is quite a few other guys.

I see, so there's a handful of fun people there,

-it's a nice atmosphere.

-It is a really nice atmosphere.

Do you ever go down and use the...

I say down, maybe it's up, I don't know.

Do you ever go across and use the facilities?

I don't use the facilities quite as much as I should do.

-Is there a pool there?

-There is a lovely pool there.

That's nice. A sauna, steam room? Things like that?

Unfortunately not, just the pool.

A lovely fitness suite, some great outdoor sports facilities,

I do quite a lot of running, so...

That's good. Now, Pauline, you are through to the next round.

This is great news. What would you like to go for?

-Well...

-If you fancy talking us through the board...

I have had a severe mental block,

so I'm just going to cut to the chase and hope

that De Do Do Do De Da Da Da is The Police.

The Police, says Pauline.

No red line for you as you are already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the Police.

It's right.

Look at that, 23.

Very well done indeed, takes your total up to 49.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

There's A Guy Works Down The Chip Shops Swears He's Elvis?

-Kirsty MacColl.

-The wonderful Kirsty MacColl.

Yeah, that would have scored you 26 points.

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, do you remember this one?

-This is U2.

-It is U2, yeah.

Would have scored you 4 points. Now, I was with Carl,

I Don't Know What You Want, But I Can't Give It Any More -

to me that sounded like a power ballad.

I thought maybe like Aerosmith or someone.

-Or a female country singer, maybe?

-It is not, though.

It is the Pet Shop Boys.

-There you go.

-Would have scored you 2 points,

almost the direct opposite of what we were thinking.

You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties?

Yet another, he had a huge hit, a huge Christmas hit.

-Jonah Lewie.

-Jonah Lewie!

That would have scored 15 points.

Yeah, so Pet Shop Boys best answer on the board.

Thank you very much.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 200, Carl and Tania.

I'm so sorry. This is the last time we see you as well.

It's been great fun having you, but I'm sorry we just didn't see more,

is all I'm saying.

But thank you so much, Carl and Tania, great contestants.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round Two.

And so we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, obviously, we will have to say goodbye

to another pair. Best of luck to all three pairs,

our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs, who is going to go first,

who's going to go second? And whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Richard.

Yeah, any element on the periodic table as of June 2016, please,

that comes in the alphabet between carbon and oxygen.

-There we are.

-Any of them.

-Any one.

There we go. Ian, there we go.

It is not my strong subject, chemical elements.

And alphabetically...

Oh, I was going to go Californium.

Californium, says Ian.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Californium.

Oh, Ian.

I'm sorry. That scores you 100 points.

I think you know why.

Such a brilliant answer to elements

that aren't between carbon and oxygen.

It would have been a wonderful answer,

but, yeah, I'm afraid it is before carbon.

OK. Tom, what would you like to go for?

-Lithium.

-Lithium, says Tom.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said lithium.

It's right.

22 for lithium.

Yeah, the lightest of all the solid elements.

-Well, the most relaxed.

-Yeah.

-You know what I mean?

The one of the solid elements you'd most like to sit next to

at a dinner party, because you would just have a nice time.

Yeah. Thank you very much, Richard.

Sean.

As soon as I saw the question,

my mind started naming elements

that begin with really useful letters like B and T.

But I'm going to go for fluorine.

You're going to go for...?

-Fluorine.

-Fluorine, says Sean.

Fluorine. Let's see how many of our 100 people said fluorine.

It's right. Well, 100 is our high score,

and you passed that as we went down the tower from the top.

And you have passed the low score as well.

10, there we are. Very good.

10 for fluorine.

Well played, Sean.

Yeah, we just put down some wooden fluorine in our lounge.

-That's nice.

-It's lovely, it's really, really nice.

-Very nice.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, we are about to go back down the line.

Before we do that, shall we have a little recap of those scores?

10, Sean, well done, the best score of that pass.

Sean and Mara looking like strong contenders

for the head-to-head at this stage.

As, I have to say, are Tom and Tilda, because I'm sorry,

Ian and Pauline, you are out in front there with 100.

So, Pauline, I don't know what's going to happen

in the next two answers, but who knows?

Find a nice low-scoring answer just in case.

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Mara, there you are on 10.

If you can score 89 or less, you are through to the next round.

OK.

I just had two answers in my head,

both of which I realised, probably at the right time,

that they wouldn't be acceptable,

so I'm going to have to go with something really obvious,

and say nitrogen.

Nitrogen, says Mara.

Gets you a nod from Sean.

Slightly raises the pulse of Pauline and Ian.

Let's see, here is your red line.

If you get below that with nitrogen, you are through to the head-to-head.

It's right, and you're through.

Nitrogen. Oh, nitrogen look at that!

29.

39 is your total.

Very well played.

Yes, 78% of the entire Earth's atmosphere is nitrogen.

I know, and yet our 100...

-I know.

-Tilda, what would you like to go for? You are on 22,

which means 77 or less keeps you in the game.

I keep going through the alphabet,

making sure I've got my letters in the right order.

They are jiggling about a bit. I'm going to say iridium.

Iridium. Oh, did you hear?

Did you hear that? I don't know what causes that noise,

but something in the studio

when a good answer is mentioned, when it's uttered, you hear a buzz.

I think there are bees up there. I'm not sure.

There is your red line, if you get below that red line, Tilda,

you are through to the head-to-head. How many people said iridium?

It's right. You are through.

Look about, 3, if you please, Tilda!

The lowest score of the round so far.

25 is your total.

That is terrific work, Tilda. Very well played.

A hard, silvery metal, iridium.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

-Pleasure.

Now, Pauline.

Oh, Pauline, I'm sorry, you are the high scorers.

I'm sorry. What would you like to go for?

Well, it was never going to be my strong subject,

so I'm just going to have to go for magnesium.

Magnesium, says Pauline.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line for you, as you are our high scorers.

It's right.

27.

And that takes your total up to 127.

Yeah, unlucky on that, podium one.

It is genuinely amazing how often,

when we have these alphabetical ones,

that you say something outside of it, it just happens all the time,

doesn't it? Just something goes, so it's very unfortunate.

A couple of your favourites are Pointless answers here.

-Ah, well.

-Lawrencium is a pointless answer.

Livermorium is a pointless answer.

-Let's take a look at some more, shall we?

-Yeah.

All pointless answers.

There's livermorium, look.

Osmium, my favourite.

Of course. Lots and lots of other pointless answers out there.

Gadolinium, lengthanum, hathium, Neptuniam, nobelium,

they're all pointless answers. Let's take a look at the top three.

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

Iron would have scored you 34.

Helium, 42.

Hydrogen on 48.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our second round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to, it's Pauline and Ian.

I can't... It feels like... It's like saying goodbye to old friends.

-I know.

-Oh. It's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm so sorry I have to say goodbye to you now,

but thank you so much for coming to play, Pauline and Ian.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, Tom and Tilda, Mara and Sean,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for that jackpot, which stands at...

But we've reached the head-to-head, which is lovely,

because it means you can start playing as a pair now.

You can chat before you give your answers,

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, Tom and Tilda, your second appearance on the show,

and here you are, our golden couple in the head-to-head,

which is a good advantage, but then Mara and Sean...

I was worried on the first two rounds,

just in case it was very UK-centric question on something that came up,

but now you're playing together.

You're a boon.

So, yes, this, I think, will be very interesting to watch.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

-Richard.

-We'll show you five pictures now

of actors portraying Batman on film,

but can you tell us the name of the actors, please?

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five Batmans.

Batmen. I don't know.

-Anyway, here they are.

-Batsmen.

-Batsmen.

LAUGHTER

We have got...

There we are. Five Batmans.

Tom and Tilda, you are our golden couple, so you will go first.

-Just say it.

-I am going to say it, yeah.

Because I know it.

I am going to go for C.

I think he was called Adam West.

Adam West, say Tom and Tilda.

Now, Mara and Sean,

do you fancy talking us through those other Batman?

I will give it a go.

A, I believe, is Michael Keaton.

B, I think, is Val Kilmer.

E is Mara's city friend Ben Affleck.

But we are going to go for D, who I think was Will Arnett.

Will Arnett, say Mara and Sean.

So we have Adam West, and we have Will Arnett.

Tom and Tilda said Adam West for C.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

28.

There we go. Adam West.

Meanwhile, Mara and Sean have gone for Will Arnett for D.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Will Arnett.

It is right.

Will Arnett is a good answer.

And it wins you the question...

And it is a Pointless answer! Look at that!

Very well done indeed.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot,

which takes the total up to £6,000.

It scores you nothing, wins you the point.

Very well done, Mara and Sean.

And after one question, you are up 1-0.

That is a terrific answer, yeah.

Very well-known for Arrested Development, 30 Rock,

all sorts of things, Will Arnett.

This is when Tom and Tilda win the next two points

and nick that 250 quid of course.

You took us through the board very nicely.

A is Michael Keaton.

It would have scored you 30 points.

You would have scored 31 for Val Kilmer.

You were right about that as well.

So both of those would have been beaten by Adam West.

And E is Ben Affleck, and he would have scored you 19.

Very good. Thanks, Richard.

So here comes your second question.

Mara and Sean, you get to answer it first.

But Tom and Tilda, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

So very, very best of luck. Our second question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah, simply five clues, to facts now about Austria.

Lovely. Nice.

That is nice. So let's reveal our five clues and here they are.

I will read those all again.

Mara and Sean will go first.

Going to go for the racing driver.

And I think it is Niki Lauda.

Niki Lauda, say Mara and Sean.

Niki Lauda. Tom and Tilda, do you want to talk us through that board?

That is the only one I knew.

Shall we have a guess at...?

We're going to have to guess at Mozart.

Vienna for the city where Mozart was born.

You are going to go for Vienna.

So we have Niki Lauda and we have Vienna.

Mara and Sean said Niki Lauda,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

25 for Niki Lauda.

Now, Tom and Tilda have had a guess at the city where Mozart was born.

Let's see if they are right with Vienna.

If they are, let's see how far down the column we go,

but are they right?

Ooh! Bad luck.

I'm sorry.

Not Vienna, which means, Mara and Sean, very well done indeed,

after only two questions, you are through to the final 2-0.

Yes, it's very well played.

Actually Niki Lauda is the highest scorer on that board.

The scores go down as the board comes down here.

Because the city where Mozart was born...

He died in Vienna, but he was born...

-Salzburg.

-In Salzburg, yeah.

That would have scored you 20, so it would have won you the point.

Do you remember this, before the euro?

-The Austrian Schilling.

-The shilling. Yeah.

That would have scored you 19.

-The chocolate cake with apricot jam?

-Sachertorte.

It is Sachertorte.

That would have scored you 11 points.

Now, this last one looks like a question

-you should know the answer to.

-Yeah.

-Doesn't it?

Cos Austria is an Alpine country

and it has lots and lots of mountains, so you think,

"Well, I must know the answer to this."

But I bet you don't. It is a pointless answer.

It is the Grossglockner.

I'm glad I...

-Grossglockner.

-Grossglockner.

It would be a nice surname. What is the family name?

-Grossglockner.

-Grossglockner.

-Oh, beautiful. How lovely.

Yeah. Helga Grossglockner.

-Beautiful.

-Beautiful.

OK, so the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I am so sorry, Tom and Tilda.

It has been lovely having you on both shows,

and you have done so well. Our golden couple in this show,

but I am afraid this is the end of the road.

So we have to say goodbye, but thank you so much for coming to play.

Tom and Tilda. Thank you.

But for Mara and Sean, it is now time for our Pointless Final.

Well, what about that? Congratulations, Mara and Sean,

you fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless Jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £6,000.

CHEERING

I mean, so many things just to run through.

I mean, your first appearance on Pointless...

straight through to the final.

In the head-to-head, which by the way was a 2-0 victory,

you found a pointless answer.

We never get pointless answers in the head-to-head.

We only put them in there for fun.

You're not meant to know those.

So here you are.

I mean, surely we are looking at a jackpot win here.

What would you like to see come up, Mara?

I think probably anything with film, television, American kind of...

-American sport?

-Knowledge.

American sport would be probably better for Sean.

-But...

-Geography?

Geography would be OK, yeah.

-Sean?

-Yeah, so American football.

Film.

There's a few very big American TV series

-that we know quite a bit about.

-OK. Well, very best of luck.

Today's choices look like this.

It is kind of everything you asked for, isn't it?

Wow. I'm not sure...

I think that looks the best of the bunch, to be honest.

Yeah. We are going to go for A's in literature, please.

A's in literature.

OK, it has been a brilliant performance so far from both of you,

so fingers crossed you can continue that run now.

Very best of luck. Here are your three questions.

We are looking for the title of any novel that has ever won

the Booker Prize up to April 2016, please, that has an A in its title.

We are looking for the name of any author

who has won the Pulitzer prize for fiction from 1948,

whose surname contains the letter A.

Or we are looking for any poet in the Nation's Favourite Poems

that the BBC published in 1996,

whose surname contains the letter A.

So the titles of novels containing A,

winners of the Pulitzer prize for fiction, surnames with A in them,

and surnames with letter A in them for poets

in that Nation's Favourite Poems. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, as always, you have got up to one minute to come up

with three answers. All you need to win the jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be Pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the board.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-So Booker prize winning novels...

-OK, so...

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

Does not contain the letter A.

-No, it does! It does!

-Yes, it does.

Amsterdam. Amsterdam has won the Booker prize.

-OK.

-And is definitely right.

-OK.

-I am thinking about poets.

So Keats, I imagine, is in there.

-OK.

-But probably he isn't pointless.

OK.

What about, like...

The only thing I can really think of is To Kill A Mockingbird.

So we have got To Kill A Mockingbird,

we have got Amsterdam.

We have Keats as an emergency.

Harper Lewis... Did Harper Lewis write it?

-Harper Lee.

-Harper Lee, Harper Lee. That would still be one...

But it is not an A in the surname.

Isn't it? Oh, it has to be in the surname, OK.

-Sorry.

-I am just really...

-Ten seconds left.

-Really blank.

-Really blank.

-OK, well, shall we go with Keats, then?

Well, we might as well. OK.

Keats. To Kill A Mockingbird.

-And Amsterdam.

-Amsterdam.

-Yeah.

OK.

OK, I now need your three answers,

and if you say which category you're answering in,

that would be great.

OK, so, from poets in the Nation's Favourite Poems,

we will go with John Keats.

-John Keats.

-For the Booker Prize-winning novels,

-we will go for Amsterdam.

-Amsterdam.

-And To Kill A Mockingbird.

-It doesn't matter.

-OK, you are going to go for that one as well.

-Yeah.

-To Kill A Mockingbird for the Booker Prize. OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Amsterdam.

-Amsterdam goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

And then we have got John Keats in the middle.

-Yes.

-OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board

in that order, then, and here they are.

We have got...

Well, very, very best of luck.

Three answers on the board there.

Now, if one of these turns out to be pointless,

you will leave here with that jackpot of £6,000.

What would you like to do with that? Mara, you go first.

We have a vacation planned...

in the not so distant future, so I think it would be spent on that.

-Lovely. Sean?

-And I think the rest of it,

I think my parents will kill me if I don't say

it will go on our house deposit fund,

so it'll definitely go on our house deposit fund.

OK, well, your first answer,

the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless,

is To Kill A Mockingbird. If it is Pointless, it will win you £6,000,

but let's see what happens when we say To Kill A Mockingbird.

No. That is an incorrect answer.

You knew it was incorrect, but you didn't have time to change it.

So unfortunately not a pointless answer.

Let's move on to your next answer. John Keats.

In this case we were looking for any of the Nation's Favourite Poets

whose surnames contain the letter A.

If this is pointless, it will win you £6,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said John Keats.

It is right. Now, To Kill A Mockingbird was incorrect,

but John Keats is absolutely right.

If this takes us all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £6,000.

We are going down through the teens.

-16.

-Not bad. It's getting better.

APPLAUSE

But as you were saying, that is moving in the right direction.

But sadly not a pointless answer,

so let's move onto your third and final answer, Amsterdam.

Now, in this case, we were looking for Booker Prize-winning novels.

You have gone for Amsterdam.

They had to contain the letter A, I think Amsterdam does.

If this is pointless, it will win you £6,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Amsterdam.

Is it Pointless?

It's right. To Kill A Mockingbird, your first answer,

I'm afraid, was incorrect.

John Keats, your next answer, took us all the way down to 16.

Now, Amsterdam takes us down, passing 16, into single figures,

down we are going, we're still going down!

Aw!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, I am so sorry!

One person got Amsterdam.

Oh, that is annoying. That is really annoying.

You did so well there and you ordered them absolutely beautifully.

Beautifully.

The tension in the room was extraordinary.

But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find

that all-important pointless answer.

I am afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £6,000.

That will therefore roll over onto the next show,

but what a pleasure it has been to have you here.

Wonderful, wonderful low score after low score,

Pointless answer in the head-to-head, as I said.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each

in commemoration of at least how well you have done,

but I am sorry it wasn't more that you were taking home.

But Mara and Sean, thank you so much.

Yeah, that is really, really unlucky. A terrific performance.

I am glad you are laughing, at least. That is nice. You can...

You can cry afterwards. I am sorry you've been...

Yeah, a great performers. Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

You are going to know loads of these names as well, but that 60 seconds,

you just, your brain shrinks, time shrinks, everything does.

So some of the Booker Prize-winning novels...

Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha, Roddy Doyle.

Margaret Atwood's The Blind Assassin.

The English Patient. Iris Murdoch's The Sea, The Sea.

Everything apart from Wolf Hall, Hotel Du Lac

The Narrow Road To The Deep North, The Luminaries, Schindler's Ark,

Remains Of The Day, and The Gathering, and Amsterdam.

Every other answer was a pointless answer. Well done if you got one.

We will move onto the Pulitzer Prize winners.

Michael Chabon, Michael Cunningham as well, everyone there apart from

Hemingway, Norman Mailer, Alice Walker and Jennifer Egan,

everyone else was a pointless answer. And the poets.

Again, lots of famous poets here, I'm afraid.

Christopher Marlowe, DH Lawrence, John Clare,

Lewis Carroll, Louis MacNeice, Thomas Hardy, Walter Delamere,

all pointless answers. Very, very well done

if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. thank you so much, Mara and Sean,

for being such fantastic, fantastic contestants,

but I'm afraid you didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £7,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it is goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it is goodbye from me. Goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE