Episode 20 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

-My name's Steve, I'm from Portsmouth. This is my friend Josh from Horsham.

-Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Ian, this is Pauline, my wife, and we're both from Consett in County Durham.

Couple number three.

Hello, my name's Tom, this is my sister-in-law Tilda and we're from Lytham Saint Annes.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's Carl, this is my wife Tania, and we're from Ruislip.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to the show.

Lovely to have you here. We'll get to chat to you each throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce - totally irreplaceable...

because he's the only one who can work the coffee machine in the staff canteen.

-It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

-Hiya.

CHEERING

Hey, everybody. Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

Oh, we've had some lovely shows recently.

-Haven't they been nice?

-Really have had a treat. I suspect we're going to have another lovely one.

-Look at this lot.

-I know.

-Aren't they nice?

Only one returning pair, Steve and Josh,

knocked out in round two last time - but look at the quality...

-I know.

-..we've replaced the others with.

I would say I liked the people in the last show,

but this to me seems a step up...

-I know.

-..I would say.

There's a terrific moustache on the show as well, and

I don't know if you've spotted that, but a real cracker.

I mean, we've had some good ones but that's, I mean, it's, you know

what? It's not over-showy but it's quite elaborate.

-Yeah.

-It's beautifully kept as well.

-Yeah, yeah.

I suspect anyone who's got HD at home even now will be like...

ALEX WHISTLES

-Whoa!

-"How about that? How about that?"

Shall we make a television programme?

-What do you think?

-Yes! Come on.

-Let's do it, shall we?

-Come on, we'll do it.

Now, I'm going to start off with a bulletin.

Sally and Stuart didn't win the jackpot last time,

I know, which means we add another £1,000 to it.

So today's jackpot starts off at this...

CHEERING

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember this, if nothing else,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. So as long as your scores are lovely and low, you have nothing to fear.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Richard.

-Little things, yeah, absolutely.

The first time anyone's said "little things" and then pointed at me!

Yeah. We're going to show you seven clues on each board and the answers to each of these clues contain the

word "little" somewhere in them.

So, seven on the first board, seven on the second, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much. OK.

So we are looking for the little things that are missing from these clues.

Here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

Josh, welcome back to Pointless.

Remind us what you do, Josh.

-I'm an insurance broker.

-You broke insurance.

-Where are you based, doing your insurance broking?

-In Guildford.

Is it a particular kind of insurance that you sell, or is it just general?

It's corporate. We're group insurance.

I see, right you are. And what do you like doing when the insurance

-day is done?

-Mainly getting out and about,

and not being stuck behind a desk is a good start.

That is a very good start.

Yeah. OK. Now, Josh, this board.

-What would you like to go for?

-Erm...

Not a great board for me.

Probably have to go for the girl group, which is Little Mix.

Little Mix, says Josh. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Little Mix.

It's right.

59 for Little Mix.

They all auditioned as solo singers, then got put into two groups,

and then got put into one group,

in the way that these things happen on X Factor.

-They've done very well for themselves, Little Mix.

-They have.

-Still going, still sell a lot of records, yeah. Great band.

-Yeah.

-Now then, Pauline, welcome.

-Hi.

Lovely to have you here from Consett in County Durham.

-What do you do up in Consett?

-I work at the leisure centre.

-I'm a business support assistant at the leisure centre in Consett.

-Oh, now, that's nice.

-I always imagine people in leisure centres are happy, most of the time.

-Very happy.

Does it smell a bit of chlorine?

-A little bit, yeah.

-Oh, but that's a happy smell, chlorine.

-It is.

-When you turn up at work, Pauline, do you wear a tracksuit,

or do you wear business clothes?

No, I wear business clothes.

OK. You have to ask that because sometimes in a leisure centre...

We should turn up in tracksuits.

I do. I run in everyday with a sweatband.

-Oh, do you?

-Yeah.

-That is... I have yet to see that.

-All right.

Now then, Pauline. Pauline, what would you like to go for on our board?

Well, I'm a little bit limited, I haven't got very much choice there,

so I'm going to go for the

last item on the board,

which is the womenswear by Coco Chanel,

the little black dress.

Little black dress, says Pauline.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got little black dress.

It's right.

59's our only score at this point and you pass it.

Look at that.

35 for little black dress.

Yeah, possibly the most famous example is Audrey Hepburn's in

Breakfast at Tiffany's. It sold for £410,000.

That was in 2006, and it was in the sale, so...

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Tom, a warm welcome to you.

Great to have you here - from Lytham St Annes?

-That's right.

-And what keeps you busy up there, Tom?

I'm an accountant, or a financial controller,

for a small group of companies.

-By day.

-By day!

-But what do you do when you put your audit books away?

-At night?

-Yes.

I lie on the sofa watching trash TV.

Television man!

And at weekends I watch Blackpool...Football Club.

Oh, the football club!

-Yeah.

-I thought you might just watch...

-No.

Cos Lytham St Annes, you get a lovely view of Blackpool.

-Just keeping an eye!

-Just keep an eye and just watch it.

-It's a lovely place.

-Lovely place, Blackpool.

-Now, Tom...

-Yes.

..what would you like to go for on our board?

I'd like to go for the stage name of Cyril Mead.

-I think it's Syd Little.

-Syd Little, says Tom.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

APPLAUSE 32.

Well, it's our new low scorer there, Tom.

-Thank you.

-Well-played, Tom.

That's a great answer. Ran a restaurant,

well, a pub restaurant, in Fleetwood for four or five years,

-not a million miles from you.

-Yeah, there you go.

Carl, welcome to Pointless.

It's good to have you here, from Ruislip...

-That's right.

-..where they have that beautiful lido.

Yes, it's quite stunning.

It is lovely there. And what do you do, Carl?

I'm a project manager at my local council.

Right you are, so what sort of projects do you manage?

So I work in the digital services team,

so we work on a number of websites, forms,

and just processes that help residents to transact online,

rather than calling us.

-Very good. How long have you been doing it?

-About three years, now.

Has that department just got bigger and bigger and bigger?

Yeah, it's steadily growing.

Yeah, I should think so. And what are your interests, Carl?

Quite a keen poker player.

He's got a good poker face!

Mmm.

That's a compliment. There we are.

Now, Carl, the board here behind me is all yours.

Yeah, unfortunately, I know one. It's not the one I wanted,

all the ones I wanted have been taken,

so I'm going to be forced to say

fairy tale character who encounters

the Big Bad Wolf on her way to visit

her grandma is Little Red Riding Hood.

Little Red Riding Hood, says Carl.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Little Red Riding Hood.

Well, 59...

I was about to say 59 is our, the high score - it's not.

APPLAUSE

I'm stopped by our new high score, which is 90.

Yeah, they have that story around the world,

and in Africa it's a hyena or a fox rather than a wolf,

and in East Asia it's one of the big cats, normally.

But we have a wolf. Same story, though.

-Yeah.

-Didn't happen, it's not a true story.

It was made up.

LAUGHTER

Now, let's go through the rest of these, shall we?

Do you know the novel?

I do, it's something Dog Little. I want to say...

Nearly. Vernon God Little.

Vernon God Little, sorry.

Vernon God Little would have scored you three.

-State capital of Arkansas?

-Little Rock.

-Is Little Rock.

-Yep.

That would have scored you 41.

Do you know this one? It's a tough one.

Little Caesar.

That would have scored six points. So Vernon God Little, best answer on the board.

-Well done if you got that.

-Thank you very much.

We are halfway through the round, let's take a look at our scores.

It was quite a high-scoring round, that one.

But, Tom, very well done indeed.

32, the best score there.

So, Tom and Tilda, I suggest you will be going into the next round.

That's how it looks, anyway, from here.

35 is where we find Pauline and Ian,

59 is where we find Josh and Steve,

and 90, Carl and Tania.

Yes, that was quite high.

-Might you have known any of the other ones, do you think? Little Rock? No?

-No.

Tania, we need a low score from you. Good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more little things up on the board and here they are.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

-Tania.

-Yeah.

-Welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Tania?

-I'm a secondary school teacher.

I teach French and Spanish.

-Up to A Level?

-Up to A Level.

Up to A Level. So your languages are pretty good?

-They're not bad.

-What do you like getting up to in the holidays?

Ooh! When I'm on school holidays or after work,

I like to spend time with our two-year-old.

-Lovely.

-So, yeah, it's just quality time

and trying to teach him Portuguese, as well.

-Oh, that's clever.

-Yeah.

-That's clever.

-How's it going in?

-Not too bad.

Not too bad. It's going in, he's not getting much out at the minute,

-but he's only two.

-It takes a while. He's only two.

-Yeah.

-And he's two?

-Yeah.

-That's impressive.

Anyway, Tania, new board, we need a low score.

Yes.

I know two, but I'm going to go with the one I'm more confident on,

which is Little Shop of Horrors, for musical and film about a plant that

-drinks human blood.

-Little Shop of Horrors, says Tania.

There is no red line for you.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Little Shop of Horrors.

It's right.

You see? That's a good answer.

41 for Little Shop of Horrors, taking your total up to...

In the original film version,

there's actually a very early role for Jack Nicholson,

plays a dental patient,

which is the role that Bill Murray plays in the remake.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Now then, Tilda, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

Great to have you here. What do you do?

Well, I'm retired now.

I early retired.

What did you do?

I used to work for Premium Bonds.

Oh, that's fun, for Ernie?

Yes, Ernie, yes.

So what were you doing for them?

I did all sorts, really.

I worked in the banking side and I worked in the prize draw branch.

It's still very popular, isn't it, Premium Bonds?

It is still very popular, yes.

Now then, Tilda, there you are, you're on 32.

The highest scorers are on 131, so 98 or less keeps you in the game.

OK. Well, I think I'll play it safe, then, I think,

and I'll say the musician who had a founding role in rock and roll,

and I'll say Little Richard.

Little Richard, Little Richard, says Tilda.

There is your red line. If you can get below that with Little Richard,

you're into the next round.

Through you go, look at that.

58, taking your total up to a nice round 90.

Well-played, Tilda. Did exactly what you had to do there.

Little Richard is of course my arch enemy.

Ooh! Ooh!

Thank you, Richard. Ian.

-Hello.

-Welcome, welcome.

How long have you been growing that moustache?

About two years, now.

-Ah!

-I'm cultivating it.

-It's a great moustache.

-Do you wax it?

-Yes, I put wax on it, yes.

How often? Morning and night?

Nearly every half an hour or so, I keep giving a little twirl.

-Do you keep the wax in your pocket?

-Oh, yeah, I've got wax and the little comb.

And how do you do it? Just rub it on the fingers there?

Just rub it in and just give a little twirl.

-You've got a comb?!

-Oh, yeah.

-A tache comb?

-Mmm. Haven't got it with us.

ALEX GASPS LAUGHTER

-Had you ever had a moustache before that?

-No.

Did it take a bit of getting used to?

It did, yes. I was going to shave it off but my wife and kids says,

-"Leave it on, Dad, you look better."

-I like this bit here.

-Thank you very much.

Little Tom Waits thing there, going on under the lip.

That must have a name. That must be called something.

-I'm going to call it Simon!

-Just tache.

-That's great.

Now, Ian, we have a game on our hands...

-Right.

-..in that you need to give me a correct answer, basically.

95 or less gets you through.

Well, there's a couple on there I know but I think I'm just going to

stay safe and go for the member of Robin Hood's band of merry men,

-Little John.

-Little John, says Ian. Here's your red line.

If you get below that with Little John, you're into round two.

How many people said it?

It's right.

76, takes your total up to...

Yeah, portrayed as a bear in the Disney version of the story,

-but actually was a man.

-Actually, yeah. That's misleading, isn't it?

It is misleading, yeah.

Thank you very much. Now, Steve, welcome back.

-Remind us what you do.

-Yeah, I'm a corporate insurance broker.

Corporate insurance. And when you put that behind you at the end of

each day, what do you like to do?

I just like spending time with my family.

Very nice. How big is your family?

We've got a little girl, a four-year-old,

-so she keeps us busy.

-Very busy. What's her name?

-Lily.

-Hi, Lily.

Very good. Now, Steve, Josh did pretty well in the first pass there.

71 is all you have to score to stay in the game.

I think I know two of them.

Do you want to talk through the board?

Yeah, I think the 2006 Steve Carrell film is Stuart Little.

But I think I'm more confident on the bottom one there.

The actor who was in the Royle Family and Two Pints of Lager as

-being Ralf Little.

-You're going to go for Ralf Little.

Here is your red line.

If you get below this red line with Ralf Little, you're into round two.

How many people said it?

It's right.

And you're through! Very well done.

Good answer. 31...

..taking your total up to 90.

Good work, Steve. Yeah, the Steve Carrell film, not Stuart Little.

That's not named after Roger Hargreaves' book and he wasn't in it. Other than that, it's perfect.

-It's...

-Little Miss Sunshine.

-Little Miss Sunshine. Such a lovely film, isn't it?

-Such a sweet film.

-Two points for that. Well worth watching if you haven't seen it.

The US series?

You will remember this when I tell you.

-Little House On The Prairie.

-Oh, of course.

-Oh, for goodness' sake.

-Would have scored 26 points.

-Yes.

And the book by Frances Hodgson Burnett?

This is Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Exactly right, and that would have scored 14.

-So, Little Miss Sunshine, best answer on the board.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, we are at the end of our first round.

Oh, and, Tanya, Carl, I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye to you.

But we will see you again next time, I'm sure you'll go much, much further, but

-in the meantime, thank you very much indeed, Tanya and Karl.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, what about that? Three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

But, Steve, you are to be congratulated,

the lowest individual score of the round for Ralf Little there.

And our lowest combined scores.

You were drawn, actually.

Tom and Tilda and Steve and Josh together on 90.

So, yes, what I'm saying is this is going to be close.

But best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you a board now of 16 film and TV

characters who are better known as captains.

Can you tell us who these characters are, please?

OK, thank you very much, Richard.

So, we're going to put these captains up on the board.

That board will remain for the entire round.

We won't be changing halfway through.

OK, so let's reveal our image.

There they all are.

All of those captains.

Now then...

Steve, can you name an obscure captain from that board?

OK, I think I've got one...

..and I think I'm going to go with Captain Scarlet.

Captain Scarlet, says Steve.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

44 for Captain Scarlet, Steve.

Not bad.

Yeah, Captain Scarlet, from Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons.

-There he is, look.

-Yeah.

-44 points.

-Thank you, Richard.

Tom, what would you like to go for on our board of captains?

I know one or two of them, it's just which is the lowest of those?

Erm...

Captain Pugwash.

Captain Pugwash, says Tom.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Captain Pugwash.

It's right.

Oh, 75...

for Captain Pugwash. Big score, that.

That is a big score for Captain Pugwash, isn't it?

-Goodness me.

-Created by...

-John Ryan.

-John Ryan, yeah.

-Aw!

-75 points for that.

There we are. Now, thank you, Richard.

Pauline, how do you like our board of captains,

our captains' table?

I can name a couple but I know they are going to be quite high.

The choice I'm going to make is...

-Captain Mainwaring.

-Captain Mainwaring, says Pauline.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Captain Mainwaring.

Well, it's right. 75 is our high score and you pass it.

64 for Captain Mainwaring. Not bad.

There's a life-size bronze statue of Captain Mainwaring in Thetford,

which is where an awful lot of the scenes were shot in Thetford

and around Thetford Forest as well.

-That's nice.

-There's a Dad's Army museum there.

Excellent. Thank you very much, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through our second round. Let's take a look at those scores.

44, Steve, well done. 44, the best score of that pass.

Then up to 64 is where we find Pauline and Ian.

And then 75 is where we find Tom and Tilda.

So, yes, Tilda, we're going to need a low score from you in the next pass, so good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Now then, Ian...

How do you like our captains?

There's a couple, same as Pauline, there's a couple on there that I

-know and it's just trying to keep away from the high ones.

-Yeah.

So I'm going to go for...

Captain America.

Captain America, says Ian.

Here is your red line.

You want to be scoring that to get through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Captain America.

60 for Captain America.

124 is your total.

You might have done enough there, Ian.

Yeah, brilliant films, the Captain America films.

Really genuinely great series of films. Played by Chris Evans.

Thank you.

Now then, Tilda, you're on 75.

The high scorers are on 124 -

48 or less is your target.

OK. Well, I know about three of them.

So I think I'll go for Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow, says Tilda.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Captain Jack Sparrow.

There is your red line.

It's right.

54 for Captain Jack Sparrow, taking your total up to 129.

Yeah, just slightly too many.

There's a wonderful Lonely Island song with Michael Bolton that

-features Jack Sparrow.

-Very good. Thank you.

Now, Josh.

Josh, you're on 44.

84 or less keeps you in the game.

I'm going to go for Captain Caveman.

Captain Caveman, says Josh.

Here is your red line. If you get below that, you are through to the head-to-head.

How many people said Captain Caveman?

It's right. And you're through.

Very well done.

31. Takes your total up to 75.

I used to love Captain Caveman, did you?

-Used to be on in the school holidays, didn't it?

-Mmm.

Now, there's some low scorers up here.

In fact, the one next to Captain Pugwash is a low scorer.

It's from Jaws. It's Captain Quint.

Very well done if you said that.

1 point for that. Next to Captain Quint is of course Captain Hook.

He would have scored you 62.

And next to Captain Hook, this is the only Pointless answer on the board.

It's the US kids TV character Captain Kangaroo.

Very well done if you said that.

On the next row, from Firefly, Captain Malcolm Reynolds.

Well done if you got that, if you like that show, four points.

A very low score now for Captain Han Solo -

would have scored you 45.

John Barrowman there as Captain...

-Harkness.

-Jack Harkness, yeah.

21. Next to Captain Scarlet is Captain Ahab.

Yeah.

Would have scored you eight.

Right down the bottom there, Captain Nemo.

19 points for him.

And then you've got Chris Pine as Captain James T Kirk.

38 points. And that's Tom Hanks from Saving Private Ryan but his

character name is John Miller.

That would have scored you two points, so well played if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid, Tom and Tilda,

we have to say goodbye to you.

-Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, we'll see you again next time.

-Thank you.

I'm sure you'll go much further then. But, in the meantime,

-thank you very much for playing, Tom and Tilda.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Steve and Josh, Ian and Pauline,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for that

jackpot, which currently stands at...

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

Ooh, indeed. You have now made it to the head-to-head,

which means you are now allowed to confer before you give your answers

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

I'm not sure I could call this.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Richard.

-I'm going to give you five clues now to people who have

occupational surnames, surnames which are occupations.

-I don't know how else to put that.

-I don't know, either.

-You know occupations?

-Yeah.

-And you know surnames?

This is where those two concepts coincide.

Wow! OK. Let's reveal our five..

..occupational surnames.

Here they are.

Let me read those one last time.

Steve and Josh, you're the low scorers, so you will go first.

Yeah, we're going to go with the artist who painted the Hay Wain

-as John Constable.

-John Constable, say Steve and Josh.

Now, then, Ian and Pauline, do you fancy talking us through that board?

We think the real name of Fatboy Slim is Norman Cook

and the actor who played the fourth Doctor between '74 and '81 was...

-Tom Baker.

-Tom Baker.

And I think we'll go with Norman Cook.

Norman Cook, say Ian and Pauline.

So, we have John Constable and Norman Cook.

Steve and Josh said John Constable -

let's see how many of our 100 people have said that.

It's right.

Ooh, 57 for John Constable.

APPLAUSE

Ian and Pauline, meanwhile, have gone for Norman Cook.

Let's see if that's right for Fatboy Slim.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done.

Down we go. Norman Cook for 22,

and it means - Ian and Pauline, very well done -

after one question, you are up 1-0.

You chose the right one there. Although Tom Baker also would have won you the points,

would have scored more than 22, would have scored you 50.

Baker being the job there,

which is different to cook.

Do you know the director of the film?

-I don't.

-It's a job that you have beginning with S.

-A job that I have beginning with S.

-Yeah.

It's Barry Stuntman.

-Ah!

-It's not. No, it's a job you have.

Other than this, what jobs do you do?

I've got it. Is it Bryan Singer?

It is Bryan Singer, yes.

Very well done. That would've scored you 7 points.

And this last one, this is a good job.

Can you think of any jobs beginning with F?

Er...

-Farmer?

-There you go.

It's not a farmer. Not Jimmy Farmer?

-No.

-Farrier.

It's not Farrier.

-Good. A furrier.

-It's not a furrier.

It's actually Jenni Financial Services Auditor.

It's not. It is Jenni, though, and it's a cool job.

-Jenni Falconer.

-Oh, Jenni Falconer!

-Jenni Falconer.

-Yeah. You don't think of it as a job, do you?

That would've scored you 1 point.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here is your second question.

Now, Steve and Josh, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

But Ian and Pauline get to answer first, so good luck with that.

The second question today is all about West End musicals.

-Richard.

-Yes, simply five pictures taken at West End musicals.

Can you name the musicals, please?

OK, let's reveal our five pictures and here they come.

We've got...

There we are.

Five West End musicals.

Now, Ian and Pauline, you will go first.

I'm not a fan of West End musicals, really...

..so I'm going to go for A and hope it's Cabaret.

Cabaret, say Ian and Pauline.

Cabaret. Now, then, Steve and Josh...

-Do you want to talk us through that board?

-We can try.

I think we think that C is Les Mis.

A, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

I know what D is.

I'm going to kick myself.

-Go C.

-Just go for C.

-We'll go with C, Les Miserables.

Les Miserables. OK, so we have Cabaret and Les Miserables.

Ian and Pauline said Cabaret for E.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh!

Not Cabaret.

So, Steve and Josh, you just have to be right with your answer,

which is Les Miserables for C.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Les Mis for C.

Well, 27 people said it,

but crucially it was right.

And that means, after two questions, it's 1-1.

Well done, Steve and Josh, back in the game.

You were right about A. It would have been a risk to go for it, but

it was Charlie And The Chocolate Factory -

would have scored 12 points.

The best answer on the board is B, which is A Little Night Music.

That would have scored you 1 point.

D is the brilliant Book Of Mormon.

That would have scored 6 points.

And E, not Cabaret, but Chicago.

Chicago, written by the same people,

but 25 points that would have scored.

Thank you very much. So here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot,

so best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

-Richard.

-I am going to show you the names

of five gemstones now, but in anagram form.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer is going through

to play for that rather lovely jackpot.

Mmm. Let's not forget that.

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams of gemstones and we have got...

I'll read those again.

Steve and Josh will go first.

-Amethyst.

-Josh, for which one?

-The top one.

-Top one. OK.

Now, Ian and Pauline...

Do you want to talk us through that board?

Amethyst was the one we were going to go for.

Next one down is diamond.

The other three we cannot see,

so we'll just have to go for...we'll have to go for a diamond.

OK, you're going to go for diamond.

So we have amethyst and we have diamond.

Steve and Josh, you went for amethyst - let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right!

35 for amethyst.

CHEERING APPLAUSE

Ian and Pauline, meanwhile, have gone for diamond.

Let's see how many people got that for Don Maid.

It's right. Ooh!

90 people got diamond.

Very well done. That means, after three questions, Steve and Josh,

you are through to the final - 2-1.

Well-played, gents. There is an answer out there that would

have beaten amethyst. It's not the next one down, which is...

Do you know that one?

-Garnet.

-Oh, of course, it's garnet.

That would have scored 37.

The bottom one...

-Emerald.

-..is emerald

and that would have scored you 59.

And do you know this next one?

It's the birthstone for August.

It's a peridot, or a peridot.

-Ah.

-And that would have scored 12 points, so very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, Ian and Pauline.

Nothing...

I was about to say nothing wrong with any of your answers. There was something wrong.

Yes. The Cabaret Chicago mix-up, but we'll draw a veil over that.

We will see you again next time, which is very good news for us.

Otherwise it would all have been over in one show, and that's just one show too few.

But thank you so much for playing so well today.

Ian and Pauline.

CHEERING APPLAUSE

But, for Steve and Josh, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Steve and Josh,

you have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £4,750.

CHEERING APPLAUSE

Well, very, very impressive.

A nice, slow, steady, calm, confident performance across the show.

You came from behind in the head-to-head.

You were 1-0 down and you came through to win,

so I think the stage is set for an impressive jackpot win here.

What would you like to see come up in this last round to help you win that?

Well, I'd like to see something football-related.

-Were you going to say geography?

-Geography, or something religious, maybe.

-OK.

-Don't want to hedge my bets too early

cos it'll come up and I'll fail, so...

Football, geography and religion.

Let's see what's on the board!

-London transport's going to be about tubes, isn't it?

-Yeah, probably.

-I think that's....

I haven't got a clue about films and I'm rubbish on music,

and I don't know much about Formula 1.

LAUGHTER

-And, frankly, I'm not great with London transport.

-Let's do it, then.

We'll go with London transport.

-There we go, good luck.

-OK, very best of luck, gents.

You wait 20 minutes for a question, then three turn up at once.

Let's take a look at them. We're looking for the name of any

London's Docklands Light Railway stations, please...

according to the standard Tube map.

We're looking for any London Overground stations

in zones one and two,

so they have to be on the London Overground network, please, zones one and two.

Again, according to the Transport For London map. Or, any London Tube stations at all beginning with

consonants B, C, D, F or G.

So Docklands Light Railway stations,

zone one and two Overground stations,

and Tube stations beginning with B, C, D, F or G.

Very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK.

-Got to go for the Tube stations.

I don't know anything on the Docklands Light Railway.

Yeah, I know the obvious ones.

-Yeah.

-B - Bank, is that one?

-Greenwich.

-Greenwich, yeah.

-Camden, is that one?

-Camden Town.

-Covent Garden.

-Canning Town?

Must be some that are out on the outskirts somewhere that's...

I'm struggling badly here.

-Can't think of anything.

-Zone one and two London Overground stations,

does that stop at Blackfriars? Blackfriars?

-Yeah.

-You happy to put Blackfriars on there? That is, yeah, that is a thing.

-Er...

-Yeah.

-This isn't going to go well.

-Er...

-Canning Town?

-Canning Town?

-Camden Town. Is that too obvious?

-Yeah, I think it's too obvious.

-Greenwich.

-Greenwich?

-Nah.

We haven't got much else.

-Ten seconds left.

-Canning and Camden,

and then go for Blackfriars for overground, just in case someone doesn't know what the overground is.

-OK. We'll do it.

-Yeah?

-We'll do that, yeah.

-Sweet.

-OK.

OK, that's your time up. Let's have your three answers and if you could say which category you're

answering in each case, that'd be great.

OK, in the third category, London stations beginning with C,

we're going to go with Canning Town.

-Canning Town.

-Camden Town.

-Camden Town.

-And we're going to go for...

For the Overground station, Blackfriars.

Blackfriars for the Overground stations in zones one and two.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Canning Town.

-Canning Town goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-BOTH:

-Blackfriars.

-Blackfriars goes first,

OK, with Camden Town in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board

in that order then, and here they are.

We have got...

Well, you've found three answers there.

What if one of these turns out to be pointless

and wins that jackpot for you?

£4,750, what would you like to do with that? Steve, you first.

Yeah, I'd like to take my family away, maybe.

Our big wedding anniversary's coming up, so use it for that.

That would be very nice. Josh, how about you?

I'd like to go travelling with my better half around Southeast Asia.

Lovely. Well, very, very best of luck.

Three good answers. As I say, let's see how we do.

Blackfriars.

In this case, we were looking for any Overground station in zones one and two.

If this is pointless, it will win you £4,750.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Blackfriars.

Oh! Bad luck. An incorrect answer.

So we move onto your next answer, which is Camden Town.

In this case, we were looking for any London Underground station

beginning with B, C, D, F or G.

If this is pointless, again, it will win you £4,750.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Camden Town.

Is it pointless?

It's right. Blackfriars was an incorrect answer.

Camden Town is absolutely right, though.

Down we go, through the thirties, into the twenties.

Into the teens. Into single figures, still going down.

Camden Town still going down to 3. OK.

APPLAUSE CHEERING

That is a brilliant answer.

Irritatingly, it's not a pointless answer,

and we only accept pointless answers in this last round,

but it's a good answer.

Your third and final answer, Canning Town.

This is the one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer.

Now, Camden Town took us down to 3.

Where possibly can Canning Town take us,

apart from lower than three, surely?

Let's see if it's pointless. If it is, it'll win you £4,750.

How many people said Canning Town?

It's right!

Blackfriars, your first answer, was incorrect.

Camden Town, your next answer, took us all the way down to 3.

Canning Town takes us down into the single figures, down we go. We're still going down... Oh!

AUDIENCE GROANS

APPLAUSE

-Oh, no.

-Oh, bad luck.

3 for Canning Town.

I thought that was definitely going to be less than Camden.

Bad luck. Anyway, two very good answers there.

Sadly, though, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £4,750.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But it's been wonderful to have you on the programme, and you've done so well.

And you get a Pointless trophy to take home each, as well, so very, very well done, Steve and Josh.

APPLAUSE CHEERING

Very well-played, gents.

Absolutely one of those days where none of the categories really

suited you properly. You chose the best of a bad bunch for you

and you made a good fist of it, so very well-played.

Blackfriars is not on the Overground network.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers, loads and loads and loads,

if you know your Tube map at all.

The DLR...

You could have had Bow Church, Stepford Bridge, Devons Road, Heron Quays, London City Airport,

Pudding Mill Lane, that's nice.

Shadwell, Stratford High Street, Stratford International - a pointless answer.

Tower Gateway, West India Quay, Woolwich Arsenal, also a pointless answer.

Well done if you said any of those.

Now those zone one and two London Overground stations,

lots of pointless answers here, as well.

There's a few.

Everything apart from -

these were the only ones that scored on that network - Euston, Stratford,

Clapham Junction, Canonbury,

Kensington Olympia, Liverpool Street, West Hampstead,

Caledonia Road and Barnsbury, Hackney Wick and Camden Road.

Camden Road would have scored 1 point.

Now, to those London Tube stations again.

So many answers here.

Loads of pointless answers. Some very well-known stations.

So, very annoying if you look through this list,

but it's kind of random as to which ones you're going to choose.

Clapham Common, Farringdon, Grange Hill.

Barbican, Barons Court, Bayswater, Belsize Park,

Bermondsey, Bromley by Bow, Bow Road,

Chalk Farm, Chancery Lane, Chigwell,

Chiswick Park, Clapham North and Clapham South, Dollis Hill,

Fulham Broadway, Gloucester Road, Goldhawk Road, Great Portland Street, Gunnersbury -

lots of pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

And thanks, Steve and Josh.

I'm so sorry you didn't win our jackpot today.

That will roll over onto the next show, when we will be playing for...

APPLAUSE

Join us, see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.