Episode 23 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and

welcome to Pointless, the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name's Matt, I'm from Birmingham.

This is my friend George. He's from Coventry.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name's Brian, this is my wife Pamela,

and we're from Fetcham, near Leatherhead.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name's Kayleigh.

This is my boyfriend, David, and we're from Luton.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Kate from London and this is my mum, Lyn, from Dorset.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much, all of you. A warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as

it goes along. So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's debonair and has three-foot hair.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya, hey, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-Afternoon, sir.

-Good afternoon. Now.

-It's exciting today, I think.

-Isn't it?

-What, three returning pairs,

which we always like cos we know people very well.

Pamela and Brian got all the way through to the Head-To-Head

last time. They were the class of the field.

And Kate and Lyn, knocked out in the first round, so hopefully

we'll see a bit more of you. Welcome, David and Kayleigh,

our only new pair. But the jackpot, it's a nice size now, the jackpot.

-It is.

-Isn't it? It's getting almost troubling, the size of the jackpot.

-Yeah.

-The sort of jackpot that if you win,

people start ringing you up and saying,

"We really enjoyed you on Pointless."

"Oh, thanks, thanks."

"Anyway, My lawn mower's broken down, I wonder..."

I would say there's lawn mower money now in this jackpot.

It's not life-changing, it's garden-changing!

Yeah. There's a garden-changing jackpot ahead of you.

You'd get a strimmer out of this, I think.

-Oh, I think you could.

-You know, how much do sprinkler systems cost?

They're probably quite expensive.

-I think you could stretch to that, yeah.

-Amazing.

-Well, there we are.

Cathy and Chris. All this is just our way of saying Cathy and Chris

didn't win the jackpot last time, so we're going to add another

£1,000 to it. So today's jackpot starts off, look at this,

at £8,250. There we are. APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember this,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, so just low, low scores and you should be fine.

No conferring till we get to the Head-To-Head round, of course.

Our first category today is...

There we are, nice, traditional Pointless round - Capital Cities.

Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

who's going to go second and whoever is going first, please,

step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

capital cities whose first vowel is an A as they could.

Capital cities, first vowel an A, Richard.

Yes, simply looking for any national capital of the world

whose first vowel is an A, please. As always, it must be a capital of

a country that's a sovereign state and a member of the UN

-in its own right.

-Lovely. Thank you very much indeed.

Matt, welcome back to Pointless.

Good to have you here again. Now, Round Two,

we had to say goodbye to you last time. Remind us what you do, Matt.

-So I'm a graphic designer.

-A graphic designer.

So is it just you working on your own,

or do you have a team of other designers with you?

Yeah, just me doing it on my own.

I'm a bit of a control freak, so I don't think I could

employ someone cos I'd just be watching over them all the time!

So you have to limit the jobs you do to stuff that

-you can do yourself?

-Yeah.

And what are your interests aside from that, Matt?

So I like going out with my friends,

I like travelling and a big fan of the Eurovision as well.

Very good indeed. Now, Matt, what would you like to go for?

Eurovision is a great help, I'd have thought, with something like this.

-Yes.

-Capital cities.

Well, I'm thinking of a city which I don't think it's going

to be very obscure but I'm going to go for...

-..Madrid.

-Madrid says Matt.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madrid.

It's right.

26. APPLAUSE

26 for Madrid. Not bad.

Yes, that's Spain.

Yep, that's the one!

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Pleasure.

-Pamela, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Welcome back.

-You gave us a pointless answer last time.

-I did.

Remind us what sort of things you like getting up to.

I enjoy gardening,

so I could sympathise with your gardening information earlier.

Well, there you are, exactly. Do you have an irrigation system?

-I don't, no.

-I'd like to have an irrigation system.

I have a natural one that falls out of the sky.

There that, there's that.

But you know, you only have to miss a couple of days of watering,

-if it's a nice hot...

-I know.

-It just wilts.

Oh! Very satisfying, though.

Pamela, what would you like to go for?

I'd like to go for Tallinn.

Tallinn. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tallinn.

It's right.

Tallinn.

Look at that, a pointless answer, Pamela.

Fabulous, that adds another £250 to the jackpot,

takes our total today up to £8,500,

scores you nothing and earns you our undying respect.

That's incredible, Pamela.

-What about that?

-I know, 500 of those pounds all come from you.

That's terrific stuff. You ask Pamela a city,

she gives you a pointless answer, that's how that works.

That's how it works. Thank you very much indeed.

-David, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

-Thank you.

Welcome. What do you do?

I am a freelance jazz trombonist.

And that is the best answer I've ever been given to that question!

A freelance jazz trombonist.

-Yep.

-What a fantastic thing to do.

Have you been playing the trombone since you were tiny?

Yes, I started when I was about eight or nine, I think.

Now, there have been some famous band leaders who are trombonists,

obviously. Do you see yourself being

up front and centre with the trombone?

-I don't know, really.

-Have you ever done that?

Have you done it, sort of Glenn Miller style?

I've done a lot of big band stuff and,

well, just a massive variety of playing, really.

I just love playing, so that's what I want to do.

Well, good luck! David, what would you like to go for?

I think it might get quite a high score, but I know it's right.

At least I hope it's right!

So I'm going to go for Washington, DC.

That's not the one I thought you were going to say, so that's good.

Washington, DC, says David.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Washington, DC.

It's right.

Down it goes, down it goes, to 12!

Now that's a surprise. That is a surprise.

Madrid scoring 26, there we are.

-12 for Washington.

-There's so many answers, that's the thing.

The Washington National Cathedral has gargoyles on it and it ran a

competition for children to decide who the gargoyles were going to be,

which is why the Washington National Cathedral has

a Darth Vader gargoyle, if you want to look closely enough.

That is great. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Lyn, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Oh, Lyn, I feel like we hardly saw you last time.

-I know!

-You were just getting into your stride.

-Yeah.

Anyway, you're here from Dorset.

-Yes.

-Where... I was going to say you run a guesthouse but you don't,

you run a hotel. What's the difference

-between a guesthouse and a hotel?

-A very difficult one.

A very difficult one. We run a bed, breakfast...

We have a bed, breakfast and bar set-up.

-A bath?

-Bar. No, bar.

-So you get bed, breakfast... Oh, and a bar?

I see. OK. Are you behind the bar as well?

Sometimes. It's been known, yeah.

Of course, the thing about bars in places where people are staying is,

they stay open until the last person goes to bed.

-Never close, that's it.

-That's quite annoying, isn't it?

You learn a way of persuading them that they've got a really early start to enjoy the sun the next day.

Like hoovering. "Lift your legs, please."

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

-That does it.

OK, now, Lyn, what would you like to go for?

Valletta.

Oh! That would have been one of mine. I've got one left now

in my stock cupboard. Valletta, very nice indeed.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Valletta.

Look at that! Down to two. Very well done indeed, Lyn.

Two for Valletta.

Yeah, capital of Malta. Pope Pius IV sent his foremost engineer

to go and design it and build it.

Did you know that the Viennetta was invented

half in Valletta, half in Vienna? That's where it got its name from.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at all those scores.

Zero was the best score of that round, a pointless answer from

Pamela, very well done indeed. Then Lyn came up with two.

I think we'll see you into Round Two on this basis, Lyn,

very well done indeed. Up to 12 where we find David and Kayleigh.

26, Matt and George.

A little bit ahead, George?

Yes, we need a low score from you at the end of this round

to keep you in the game, so very, very good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

-Kate, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Remind us what you do.

-I do logistics for a training company.

-Logistics for trainers, that's just fabulous.

-Yes.

When you're not doing that, Kate, what do you like to get up to?

I like to run. I've recently been playing tennis, had some lessons.

Had you not really played much before?

No, I love watching it, and everyone assumes I can play, but I can't.

-Same.

-So I thought I'd rectify that by actually learning.

Yeah. I'm still learning.

One day I'll be just a bad tennis player.

-Same.

-That's what I aspire to. Kate, there you are, you're on two.

-Great!

-A fabulous low score from Lyn.

What would you like to go for?

If you can score 23 or less, you're definitely in the next round.

OK. Hopefully.

I'm going to say Brasilia.

-Brasilia?

-Yeah.

-Says Kate, Brasilia.

Here is your red line.

Get below this red line with Brasilia and you're into Round Two,

as I say. Let's see how many people said it.

Look at that.

You've done it, very well done indeed.

Down it goes. Look at that, six. Not bad at all.

Eight is your total.

Yes, the capital of...

Wait a second...

-Brazil.

-There we are.

-Kayleigh, welcome.

-Hi.

-Kayleigh, what do you do?

I'm a music student at the University of Nottingham.

Now, did you and David meet through music?

-Yes, we did.

-That's nice, isn't it?

Playing in the same orchestra?

Sharing a platform?

You, with the cellos, I'm trying to think.

The cellos... The trombones are not quite behind you, are they?

They're a little bit over there, aren't they?

But not close enough for the spit to hit the back of the neck.

No, it happens, it happens, brass instruments.

It does.

Anyway, Kayleigh, you're on 12.

Should you score 13 or less with this answer,

you are definitely into the next round.

Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen but my two were actually

Washington, DC and then Valletta.

-So...

-Valletta was one of mine.

Um...

I'm going to look so silly if this isn't right. Amsterdam?

Amsterdam?

Amsterdam.

Let's find out if it's right, shall we?

Here's your red line. If you get below that with Amsterdam,

that'll be amazing.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Not bad actually, 26 for Amsterdam,

taking your total up to 38.

You might have done enough there, Kayleigh.

Of course, Dutch trombonists play with the TWO LIPS of Amsterdam!

LAUGHTER

See, that is right.

-Yeah.

-They do.

-Yeah, they do.

Exactly. Thank you very much indeed.

Brian. Brian, remind us what you do.

I run robotics activity days for children in schools

and I also do some IT training.

Talk us through the robotics activity days.

You're building robots, are you?

Yes, there's a kit made of well-known plastic bricks.

They build their robot, they learn how to programme it,

-complete some challenges with it.

-That is so cool, isn't it?

All we had at my school was a man dressed as a squirrel,

-telling us how to cross the road!

-Oh, Tufty Club!

We had him, too.

Oh!

There we are. Now, Brian, now, you're on nothing.

Pamela's answer on the first pass was just superb.

-Yeah.

-Should you score 37 or less, you're into the next round.

I will say

Caracas.

Oh, Caracas.

Here is your red line, let's see what happens when we say Caracas.

If you get below this red line, you step forward to Round Two.

How many of our 100 said it?

Very well done indeed.

Oh, look at that, down to one!

So close. So close but Pamela reigns supreme.

One is your total.

Yeah, I like Brian but he's no Pamela!

LAUGHTER

Let's be honest. Yeah, capital of Venezuela.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, George,

remind us what you do, George.

-I'm a private investigator.

-You see, this is fun.

How many investigations do you have live at any stage?

Or do you just work on one at a time?

I just work on one at a time, see how many we get done in a day,

-I suppose.

-Very good,

and what are your interests when the investigation is behind you?

I'm a big fan of Star Trek so I do like watching a bit of Star Trek.

Do you go to the conventions?

-I'm going to go to one this year.

-Very good. Do you know who's going

-to be there from Star Trek?

-Quite a few different actors,

William Shatner, Jonathan Frakes.

-They'll all be there?

-Yeah, they will be.

That's incredible. Incredible.

That'll be fun. Now, you're on 26.

Our high-scorers at the moment on 38 are Kayleigh and David.

11 or less is what we need from you.

I'm going to try...

I'm not very good at this.

I'm not even sure if this is the right answer but I'll go with

-Karachi.

-Karachi, says George.

Karachi. Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Karachi,

this very timid red line there...

..yeah, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Karachi.

Oh, no, George, bad luck.

Good for you, though, that was a punchy call there, Karachi,

and could have been great, but I'm afraid it's not a capital city

and scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 126.

Yeah, Islamabad is the capital of Pakistan, I'm afraid, not Karachi.

There are so many pointless answers.

People who know their capitals would absolutely fill their boots

-on this one. Have you got an answer? You look like you have.

-Vaduz.

Is a pointless answer. Very well done, very well done.

There are absolutely loads, let's take a look at a few of them.

So, Baghdad, capital of Iraq, a very beautiful city is a pointless answer.

Bamako, which is Mali.

Castries, St Lucia.

Dhaka. You could have had Kathmandu, which is Nepal.

La Paz, Bolivia.

Majuro. Sarajevo is a pointless answer.

There's Vaduz, very well done.

Bagui, capital of Central African Republic, that's a pointless answer.

Loads more.

Abuja, Amman, Andorra la Vella,

Apia, Asmara, Asuncion,

You could have had Banjul. Bratislava is a pointless answer,

I'm sure lots of people have been there. Brazzaville.

Damascus is a pointless answer. Kampala in Uganda.

Khartoum - Sudan is a pointless answer.

San Jose. Santiago - Chile, that's a pointless answer.

Tashkent is a pointless answer. Loads and loads and loads

of pointless answers so if you know your obscure cities,

you definitely would have got one there.

There we are, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We are at the end of our first round and I'm afraid we have to say

goodbye to one of our pairs and that pair, I'm sorry to say,

is George and Matt. I'm so sorry but Karachi, it was bold, George,

which is what it needed to be, but sadly, it was also wrong,

-which it didn't need to be.

-I know, yeah.

So, we have to say goodbye to you. It's been great having you

on the show. Thank you so much, George and Matt.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And look at that - we're suddenly down to three pairs,

so at the end of this round, we'll be down to two pairs.

Best of luck to all three pairs, though. Our category for Round Two

this afternoon is...

That's a nice general round, a People round.

Are you people people?

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second and whoever's going first,

please, step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

Successors. Richard?

Yeah, it's a nice one, this.

We're going to show you six jobs or titles or awards

or positions and we're going to show you two people who've held that job

or that title, but we've left blank the next person in the list.

OK, so you'll see two people who've held a certain position.

Who's the next on the list for each of these?

OK, very good indeed.

So we are looking for the missing next person

on each of these clues, and here is our first board of six.

And we've got...

Let's have a look at those again.

-Pamela.

-Yes.

Well, I've got two names but I'm not sure whether

either of them are right. So I'm going to go for James Bond

and I know he was a James Bond but I'm not sure that

he was the next one, but Pierce Brosnan.

Pierce Brosnan, says Pamela.

You get a nod from Brian and a nod from Brian

is a highly coveted thing.

-Very.

-Let us see how many of our 100 people said Pierce Brosnan.

It is Pierce Brosnan.

30 is what you score for Pierce Brosnan.

30.

Well played, Pamela. He trained as a fire eater in his teens,

Pierce Brosnan, but went into acting instead.

Yeah. There we are.

Now, Kayleigh,

what would you like to go for here?

I'm not sure if this is right but I know he won it at some point

so I'm going to say celebrity winner of Strictly Come Dancing,

is it Louis Smith?

Louis Smith. Louis Smith, and that would have been 2015.

Let's see if that's right, Louis Smith.

How many of our 100 people got it, if it is?

Oh, Kayleigh, I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Not Louis Smith.

That scores you 100 points.

Sorry, Kayleigh, I'll give all the correct answers

-at the end of the pass.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, Kate.

That board is all yours. Do you want to talk us through it?

Well, the top one I think is Bill Clinton and then I think

the second one is Adele cos she wins everything!

Then I think I know the bottom one and we were, weirdly,

talking about it this morning.

I'm going to go with that one cos I have a guess.

-So, Jay McGuinness.

-Jay McGuinness.

Jay McGuinness.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jay McGuinness?

It's absolutely right. Very well done indeed, Kate and Lyn.

Nothing weird about that.

Two!

Two, very much a Pamela or Brian kind of a score, that.

Very well done. Two for Jay McGuinness.

Yes, best answer on the board. Very well played.

Louis Smith won in 2012. He was a winner but not 2015, though.

You are absolutely correct about Bill Clinton.

Clinton would have scored you 36.

You are also right about Adele.

Would have been a nice answer, would have scored you 22.

The England football manager after Sven Goran Eriksson was

Steve McLaren, would have scored you eight.

-The UK Prime Minister?

-Winston Churchill.

Churchill, yeah. That's the biggest scorer up there, 47.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a quick look at those scores. Two, Kate, two.

The best score of the pass. Very well done indeed.

Particularly when seen in light of the fact that

your nearest rivals are Pamela and Brian on 30

and their nearest rivals are Kayleigh and David on 100.

So, yes, David, there you are out in front.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more chains of successors up on the board

and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

So then, Lyn, look at that.

97 is your target.

97 or less gets you through.

I will go for the Mayor of London,

Sadiq Khan.

Sadiq Khan, says Lyn.

Here is your red line. Nice and high.

Get below that, you're into the Head-To-Head.

You are into the Head-To-Head.

Very well done indeed.

Sadiq Khan.

Takes us down to 37. 39 is your total.

Well played, Lyn. There's something about that job that always has

very interesting incumbents, doesn't it?

You can say what you like about any of those people but

-they'd be interesting to sit next to at a dinner party.

-Never dull, yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, David, remember we need a low score from you here.

It's unfortunately not going to happen

cos that's the only answer I knew

so I'm just going to have to make up a funny name, I suppose!

I'll go for the last one, Monarch of England,

and I'm going to say Elizabeth II.

That's a long reign!

Let us see.

You are the

high-scorers so no red line for you.

Let's see what happens when we say Elizabeth II.

-Oh.

-No, I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 200.

It feels to me maybe you chose

the only monarch you knew definitely wasn't the answer to that.

I would have maybe gone for another one if I was going to make one up.

There we are. Thank you very much, Richard.

Brian, no pressure on you there obviously now.

You are through to the next round whatever you say

but it might be quite fun for you to take us through the board.

The first one I would think is Gordon Brown.

The second one might be Jimmy Carter if he went on to become President.

Chancellor of Germany is Angela Merkel.

Doctor Who, David Tennant.

Possibly James I for the last one.

I don't suppose any of them are pointless.

It doesn't matter to me, does it?

So I'll go, Jimmy Carter.

Jimmy Carter, says Brian.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Jimmy Carter.

No red line, you're already through.

Nope, not Jimmy Carter.

That scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 130

-but you're through anyway.

-And Brian,

you got every single one of the other ones right,

so it's the only one you didn't know, it turns out.

You're quite right about Gordon Brown,

obviously the 1997 Labour government.

It would have scored you 11 points.

You're right about Angela Merkel as well.

Quite a big scorer, would have scored you 34.

You're right about David Tennant, it would have scored you 22.

You were right about James I as well. He would have scored you 15.

The only one you were wrong about,

this was Nixon's vice-president who took over,

Gerald Ford, and that was the best answer on the board, 5 points,

-so well done if you said that at home.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Well, we're at the end of our second round and I'm afraid the pair

we have to say goodbye to, with their high score of 200,

it's David and Kayleigh. However, we'll see you again next time.

We'll look forward to that very much. In the meantime, thanks very much, David and Kayleigh.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our Head-To-Head.

Congratulations, Kate and Lyn, Pamela and Brian,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

that jackpot which currently stands at £8,500.

Well, we're at the Head-To-Head, which means you can start playing as

a team now, which is nice. You can chat before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. This should be very exciting.

Let's play the Head-To-Head.

Here is your first question and it concerns...

-Richard?

-We're going to show you

five pictures now of Johnny Depp characters.

Can you give us the full name of the most obscure character

-you're about to see?

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five pictures of Johnny Depp In Character

and here they are. We've got...

There we go, five pictures of Johnny Depp In Character.

What are the characters?

Kate and Lyn, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.

We know the obvious one,

so we're going to go for a different one and say,

A, Mad Hatter.

A, Mad Hatter.

A, Mad Hatter, say Kate and Lyn.

So, Pamela and Brian, can you talk us through these other characters?

B is Captain Jack Sparrow.

Don't really know D but if I was to guess,

might say Edward Scissorhands.

But I think we're going to go for E, Willy Wonka.

E, Willy Wonka.

So we have Mad Hatter and we have Willy Wonka.

Kate and Lyn said Mad Hatter.

Let's see if that's right for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-It's right.

-Good start.

It is the Mad Hatter and that takes you down to 50.

Meanwhile, Pamela and Brian have said Willy Wonka for E.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Willy Wonka.

This should be close.

It's right. It is Willy Wonka.

And, oh! Look at that! 56 for Willy Wonka.

Mad Hatter wins it for Kate and Lyn, very well done.

-After one question, you're up, 1-0.

-You would not have won it with B,

it is Captain Jack Sparrow but it's a big scorer,

would have scored you 80 points.

Now, C, it's a wonderful film,

it's Donnie Brasco and would have scored you 3 points.

And D, you won't be the only person thinking maybe it's

Edward Scissorhands. It's not, it's from Dark Shadows

and he plays Barnabas Collins.

Very well done if you got that at home, 2 points,

-best answer on the board.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, here comes your second question.

Pamela and Brian, you get to answer it first but you have to win it

to stay in the game, so good luck with that.

Our second question today is all about The Beatles.

-Richard?

-Simply five clues now to facts about the Beatles.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five Beatles facts, and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Pamela and Brian will go first.

I think we're going to take a risk and go for it

since we've got to win this one.

We will go for name on the gravestone, Eleanor Rigby.

Eleanor Rigby, say Pamela and Brian.

Eleanor Rigby on the gravestone in Woolton.

Kate and Lyn, would you like to talk us through that board?

Well, the top one, Liverpool,

the second one we think Michael Jackson.

The fourth one we think George Harrison.

And the fifth one, Penny Lane.

-We'll go for Michael Jackson.

-You're going to go for Michael Jackson.

So we have Eleanor Rigby and we have Michael Jackson.

Pamela and Brian went for Eleanor Rigby.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

33 for Eleanor Rigby.

I have no way of calling this.

Who knows where this will end up?

Kate and Lyn have gone for Michael Jackson

buying the Beatles back catalogue. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Now this could be close.

Oh!

34, 33. I said this would be close.

We had 50 and 56 in the first question,

and we've got 33 and 34 here.

After two questions it's 1-1.

A very high quality Head-To-Head, everybody. Well played.

The city in which the band formed was of course Liverpool.

It would have scored you 89 points.

George Harrison, it is indeed the first one to have a UK number one

with My Sweet Lord. He would have scored you 50.

And the street is Penny Lane, and that would have scored you 40.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

Now, here comes your third question. Whoever wins this goes through

to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question today is all about Farm Animals.

-Richard.

-We're going to give you five Oxford Dictionary definitions

now of various farm animals.

We're also going to give you some of the letters of their names.

But what are those animals?

Whichever team wins this point is of course going through to

play for that very, very nice jackpot.

Excellent. Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five clues to Farm Animals, and here they are...

I'll read those all again.

So, Kate and Lyn will go first.

Number one's a shearling, I think.

-The other two I don't know.

-Three is bantam.

I don't know four.

I think we'll go for shearling.

Shearling, say Kate and Lyn.

Shearling. Now Brian, there was a momentary smile on your face.

Was that the one you were going to go?

-Was that something you were going to say? No?

-I think so.

-Possibly.

I think that was probably our favourite.

Do you want to talk us through that board and see if

there's anything else you want to have a go at?

Chicken is bantam.

And the young female horse is filly.

We don't know the bullock, and the turkeycock, toying with saying spat.

-We're not sure about that.

-Don't want to.

-We'll go bantam.

-You're going to go for bantam.

So, we have shearling and we have bantam.

Kate and Lyn said shearling. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said shearling.

It's right.

34 for shearling.

Pamela and Brian, meanwhile, have gone for bantam.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said bantam.

It's right.

Is this going to be... Oh, no,

not quite as close as we've got used to.

64 for bantam, and that means very well done indeed,

Kate and Lyn, after three questions you're through to the final, 2-1.

Very well played. That round was much harder than you thought

-it was going to be, wasn't it?

-Much harder.

-Very unlucky.

Filly would have scored you a huge amount of points as well.

That would've scored you 87,

so it's down to these last two.

Now a yearling bullock or heifer is a stirk.

A stirk. That's 8 points.

And the turkeycock over one-year-old, it's not a spat.

Perhaps you were thinking of spatchcock

and you are sort of reaching for something there.

It's actually a very common name.

It's just a stag, believe it or not,

and would've scored you seven points, so the best answer up there.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the Head-To-Head Round?

Oh! Pamela and Brian.

I mean, amazing, amazing Pointless career you've had

across these two shows.

Pointless answers in each show.

Anyway, it's been wonderful having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing and playing so well.

Pamela and Brian, brilliant contestants.

APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

But for Kate and Lyn, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Kate and Lyn.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

My life is complete.

But it could be even completer,

because you now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot

which currently stands at £8,500.

What about that?

What a performance, what a turnaround.

Round One last time. This time, we've seen the real Kate and Lyn.

You know what happens in this round.

Four things appear on the board behind me.

You have to pick one of them and we just have to hope

it's one that you can do well in. Good luck.

Fingers crossed. Let's see what's on the board today.

We have got...

-Well, we can't do opera.

-No.

Films is not our strong point.

Well, but you never know. We can't do football.

And literary awards, we might, but...

I think that's the best one that we have, to be honest,

-out of those four.

-Yeah. OK.

-Literary awards.

-Literary awards it is. Richard.

I always like when you get to the part when you go, "We can't do that,

"we can't do that, we can't do that, and we can't do that,"

and you think, "That's all four of them!" Yeah, Literary awards.

Fingers crossed, something in your brain for one of these.

We're looking for any of the following, please...

Winners of the TS Eliot Prize For Poetry, please, from 1993,

when it was first awarded, right through to the ceremony in 2016.

We are looking for any author or illustrator who's ever won a

Gold Award in the Nestle Children's Book Prize

or the Smarties Book Prize, as was.

That was 1985-2007.

Or we're looking for the name of any author who's won

the Pulitzer Prize For Fiction,

or Pulitzer Prize For The Novel,

as it used to be called, from 1918 all the way through to 2016.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers. All you need is just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-As we'll ever be.

-Good.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK, right.

-So, children's books, that's the only thing I know.

-OK.

-Jacqueline Wilson?

Jacqueline Wilson, but well-known.

-JK Rowling, well-known.

-JK Rowling, well-known.

-Michael Morpu...

-Michael Morpurgo? Also well known.

But quite likely.

Cathy MacPhail

won the Carnegie Medal for Children's, for one of hers.

If she won the Children's Book Prize.

What was the dates on the children's book prize, Richard?

-It's 1985-2007.

-OK.

-Um...

-Um...

-What else?

-It might be worth a punt because...

OK, we've only got 30 seconds.

-Pulitzer Prize...

-I don't know any.

-Seamus Heaney?

-Yeah, maybe Seamus Heaney.

I don't... I don't know.

He could have done poetry.

We need somebody else.

-Ten seconds left.

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez?

All the things I can think of are Booker.

Children's, come on, quickly. Another children's one.

OK, that, I afraid, is your time up.

I now need your three answers.

So, if you could say which category you're answering in,

-that would be great.

-Children's book, Cathy MacPhail.

-Cathy MacPhail.

-It just might be right.

And I think we should say Michael Morpurgo.

-Michael Morpurgo for that one.

-Michael Morpurgo.

-Seamus Heaney?

-And Seamus Heaney for poetry.

And Seamus Heaney for poetry, OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Cathy MacPhail, if it's right.

-Cathy MacPhail goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Michael.

-Michael Morpurgo.

-Michael Morpurgo.

Seamus Heaney comes in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are...

We've got...

Three good answers on the board there. Let's hope they're all right.

Let's hope at least one of them is pointless

and will win you that jackpot.

£8,500, what would you do with that if you won it, Kate?

I would probably go to the Australian Open.

-Tennis, in Melbourne.

-Fabulous.

Because I've always wanted to go but it's quite far away.

Quite a long way to go, but it would be fun though?

-Wouldn't that be great?

-Yeah, amazing.

And, Lyn, how about you?

There's a train goes through the Rockies and I've always wanted to do it.

And it's the sort of money that you just don't spend on a holiday.

-No.

-But if it's special money...

You could afford to go to the buffet car as well. Probably.

-I could go too!

-Maybe, let's not push it.

-Can I come too?

-We'll talk about that.

-OK, well, very best of luck,

as I say, three good answers, let's hope one of them will be pointless

and will win that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Michael Morpurgo.

In this case, we were looking for

winners of the Gold Award in the Nestle Children's Book prize.

If this is pointless, it will win you £8,500.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Michael Morpurgo.

It's right. First answer, straight out of the traps, down we go.

Through the 50s.

Michael Morpurgo takes us through the 30s, into the 20s.

Down through the teens.

We're into single figures. Down we go. Still going down, down...

Oh! One!

-Wow.

-Yeah.

That's with your first answer.

Michael Morpurgo taking us down to one.

You have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Let's see what happens when we put up your next answer, Seamus Heaney.

In this case we were looking for winners of the TS Eliot Poetry Prize.

If it is right and if it is pointless, it will win you £8,500.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Seamus Heaney.

It's another right answer.

Seamus Heaney

takes us down through the 50s.

Michael Morpurgo took us down to 1,

Seamus Heaney takes us down through the teens now.

We're into single figures, yes, we are.

Down we go, still going down.

3 for Seamus Heaney.

These are all very good answers.

There or thereabouts.

-They're going up.

-They're going up?

-Well, that's OK. That's OK. They're still very, very low.

-Yeah.

Sadly in this last round they have to be pointless.

Cathy MacPhail though, is your last answer.

You thought this was your best shot at a pointless answer.

-If it's right.

-Let's see if you were right.

If it is right and it is pointless, it wins you £8,500.

Let's see how many of our 100 people named Cathy MacPhail

as another Gold Award winner in the Nestle Children's Book Prize.

Is it pointless?

Oh, no!

Not right.

APPLAUSE

Oh, bad luck.

-Oh, well.

-Bad luck. Three good answers,

two fantastic answers but I'm afraid you didn't find the pointless answer

so I'm afraid your jackpot of £8,500 rolls over on to the next show.

But it has been fabulous having you here, really strong play,

particularly in today's show.

And you get a Pointless trophy in recognition of that, to take home,

so very, very well done indeed. Kate and Lyn, brilliant.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, three very strong answers that, capping off a very, very

impressive performance all the way through. So very well played.

I'll take you through the answers now.

We'll start with the TS Eliot Prize For Poetry.

Alice Oswald was a pointless answer, Derek Walcott, Don Paterson,

Paul Muldoon. Everybody apart from Seamus Heaney, Ted Hughes,

Carol Ann Duffy and Sarah Howe.

Everybody else is a pointless answer.

So very well done if you got any others.

The Gold Award winners now, there's all sorts of pointless answers here.

-Oh!

-Anne Fine.

Jill Murphy, Lauren Child, the wonderful Michael Rosen.

So many... It's the books we got to read to our kids and all sorts

of things over the years. The only people who scored points there,

Roald Dahl scored points, JK Rowling scored points,

Quentin Blake, Philip Pullman,

Jacqueline Wilson scored points, she would have scored you three.

Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler both scored points, David Almond,

Michael Morpurgo, who you said, they were the only point scorers there.

And the Pulitzer Prize for fiction, again, lots and lots of pointless answers here.

There'll be names you know as well. Cormac McCarthy, a pointless answer.

Donna Tartt, E Annie Proulx, John Steinbeck.

You could have Philip Roth, Saul Bellow,

William Faulkner, Margaret Mitchell.

The only ones who scored points there were Hemingway,

Harper Lee, Norman Mailer, John Updike,

Elizabeth Strout and Edith Wharton.

Everybody else was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got one at home and unlucky here in the studio.

-Well played.

-There we go.

-Thanks very much, Richard, and thank you

so much, Kate and Lyn. It's been wonderful having you here.

But very sadly, they didn't win the jackpot today which means it

rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £9,500.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.