Episode 28 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the game where we aim for the obscure,

and we ignore the obvious.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name is Daisy and this is my dad, Dave,

and we're from Markbeech in Kent.

Couple number two.

I'm Harry, this is Henry, and we're school friends also from Kent.

Couple number three.

I'm Stephen, this is my wife, Daniela, and we're from Yorkshire.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Joe. This is my brother, Lorcan,

and we're originally from Omagh in Northern Ireland.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you - a very warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you all here.

We'll find out a bit more about each of you

as the show goes along, of course.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He is a man whose IQ has more digits in it

than his National Insurance number.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hey, everybody.

Good afternoon.

-Oh, good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

I can remember my National Insurance number.

-I'm rubbish at remembering mine.

-That's impressive, isn't it?

Can you? I don't use it often, but I remember it.

Mine's sort of slightly...

Mine's almost too easy to remember. I'm a bit suspicious.

-How good are you at remembering your PIN number?

-Yeah, I'm OK at that.

-Are you? What is it?

-LAUGHTER

Tell you who I met the other day.

-Tell me.

-Er, your mum.

And she was saying, "You'll never guess..."

She had an unusual maiden name. She said, "You'll never guess it."

I thought, "When I see Xander, I'm going to ask him,

"so next time I see her..." What was her maiden name, your mum?

Do you know, now I can't remember that.

National Insurance number and PIN numbers...

My mum's maiden name - that's where I always stumble.

You don't make this easy for me.

-Anyway, listen.

-Tell me.

-Four new pairs.

-I know.

We haven't met anybody here yet at all.

Can you believe it?

I'm a bit shy.

-I'm shy as well.

-Yeah.

I'm a little shy. They seem quite welcoming.

-Don't they?

-I'm slightly freaked out.

Obviously Joe and Lorcan are brothers.

I'm slightly freaked out that Henry and Harry AREN'T brothers.

Something about them that's quite similar.

-But they're...

-The glasses, the glasses!

-They've got the same glasses. That's what it is.

-That must be what it is.

And John and Amy won the jackpot last time,

with that Agatha Christie question, which was lovely.

So we start with an old-fashioned jackpot, four new contestants,

it's like a whole new beginning for us, which is lovely.

-It's about time, isn't it?

-Mm.

All of which is a very long-winded way of saying

Amy and John won the jackpot last time so we going to start off with,

as Richard says, a nice old-fashioned jackpot of £1,000.

There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, there's only one thing you have to remember, and it is this -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated. That's it.

Other than that, best of luck.

Our first category today is...

Sometimes it's Famous People, today it's just People.

So good luck with that. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Hmm.

Yeah, simply on each board we're going to show you seven clues

to people who have first names as surnames.

You just have to give us the most obscure one you can find, please.

Seven on each board, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Let's reveal our first board of clues

to people with first names as surnames, and here it is.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we are. Daisy, welcome to Pointless, from Kent.

-Yes, from Kent.

-What keeps you busy in Kent, Daisy?

I've just moved back there, actually. - I was in

Exeter Uni for three years,

so just come back, living with my parents now.

I have seen more than one car sticker that says,

"Exeter University is probably the best university in the world."

Tell me why.

-The best uni, it's a great campus, lots of things to do.

-Mm.

Great... Well, I wouldn't say it's a great nightlife,

-but you make it fun.

-You make what you will of it.

-Exactly.

-There you are. Exactly.

-Yes.

-Will you miss it?

-I do miss it, yeah.

-Have you been back?

Yeah, I have been back. It's freshers' week at the moment.

-Wait till it's died down a bit, I think.

-Yeah.

-Maybe?

-Yeah.

-Then go back.

-Yeah, and then I'll go back.

-OK.

Now, Daisy. Who would you like to go for on our board?

I'm trying to think of people...

I think I know the player who beat Novak Djokovic.

I think I'll go for the Tennessee-born singer

and hope it's Aretha Franklin.

Aretha Franklin, says Daisy. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Franklin.

It's right.

27. APPLAUSE

27 for Aretha Franklin.

She performed at inaugurations of three separate presidents,

Aretha Franklin - Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.

Also the first woman to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame.

-1987.

-Really? Took that long?

-The first woman, yeah.

-Isn't that amazing?

-Blimey.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Henry. Henry, welcome.

-Thank you.

Did you buy the shirts together?

Um, I actually saw them by myself the other day.

And I just had a moment where it was like, "We just can't..."

"I need these for me and Harry."

-For the Pointless...?

-So we just went for it, yeah.

The nice thing is, they're clearly not strobing on television,

Cos sometimes shirts have to be tested on camera,

to make sure they don't go... HE IMITATES CRACKLING

..and they're not. I mean, they are to my brain,

-but they're not to the...

-That's the intention.

Yeah. They are beautiful!

What is that, silk?

-It certainly feels like silk.

-Oh!

LAUGHTER

Now, Henry. What do you do?

I work for a publishers in Kent,

and we do, like, career guides and things like that.

And we've recently gone into educational books,

so, like, I've been working on some, like, revision guides

and textbooks and things like that.

Oh, right, so sort of York Notes-type things.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-But much better, obviously.

Much better! Other notes are available, clearly.

LAUGHTER

Henry, who are these famous people?

Their surnames are all like first names.

I'm going to have to go with the top one,

which is George Lucas.

OK. George Lucas.

George Lucas, says Henry.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for George Lucas.

It's right.

16.

APPLAUSE

16 for George Lucas.

Yeah, George Lucas says he based the character of Han Solo

on Francis Ford Coppola.

Imagine if you'd had Han Solo based on you.

-That's quite cool.

-That is quite cool.

He has a very high view of Francis Ford Coppola. That's good.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Stephen, welcome.

Here from Yorkshire. Whereabouts in Yorkshire are you?

Live in Harrogate.

Ah! But Harrogate's beautiful!

-It's very nice, yes.

-Why, it's beautiful!

-Yeah.

What do you do? What keeps you busy in Harrogate?

I'm a school workshop provider.

I see. Is that a term-time thing? Does that mean you get holidays off?

-Yes.

-Oh, that's nice!

-Yeah.

-Very nice indeed.

And what sort of things do you do as a workshop provider?

I've written a book about a recycled mermaid,

and I go into schools and read the book and say poems,

and give writing tips.

-So what's the book called?

-Madge The Mermaid.

So there'll be kids out there

-who are reading Madge The Mermaid at the moment?

-Yeah.

It's based on the Perranporth Mermaid in Cornwall -

I saw her, she's made from washed-up materials.

As soon as I saw her, I thought, "I'm going to write a book."

I was a journalist at the time.

There we are. So it's become a sort of...

-Madge The Mermaid, an icon of recycling?

-Yes.

-Fantastic.

Now, Stephen.

What about these people with first names as second names?

I only know a couple of them.

I think the one I think is the lowest is Michael Douglas,

who married Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Michael Douglas, says Stephen. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went with it.

64 for Michael Douglas.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, they've got the same birthday,

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, September the 25th.

But she was born just after the moon landings,

and he was born just before the end of the Second World War.

-LAUGHTER

-It's true.

-Just before the discovery of the moon.

-Yeah.

Thank you. Joe, welcome.

You said originally from Omagh - where are you from now?

-Well, I live in Enniskillen, which is just about...

-Oh, I see.

-..25 miles down the road, so not too far away.

-Not too far away.

-And what do you do, Joe?

-I'm a dentist, Xander.

You are... Very timely, actually. Cos I'm...

HE MUMBLES

-No, I'll show you later.

-I'm off duty, though, so I...

Off-duty. Now, so how long have you been a dentist?

-About 18 years, now.

-What drew you to dentistry, Joe?

You know, I'm not going to say the money, cos it's not!

LAUGHTER

-The hours.

-The hours? And a love of teeth.

-And a love...

-Obviously, the love of teeth.

-Just like the smell of mint.

-Simple as that.

-Yeah, yeah.

Joe, what would you like to go for on this board?

You're the last person to have it.

-You can fill in all those blanks for us, if you like.

-Yeah.

Well, I knew the other three.

That's Andy Murray, is the Novak Djokovic one.

I think it's Grace Kelly, the Princess of Monaco.

And the President...

The only one I can think of is Ulysses S Grant.

"Played Jett Rink in the film Giant..."

I'd be guessing if I said John Wayne. I don't think it is.

-I think I'll go Grace Kelly.

-Grace Kelly, says Joe.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Grace Kelly.

It's right.

48 for Grace Kelly.

APPLAUSE

Before she could marry Prince Rainier,

her family had to provide a 2 million dowry to Prince Rainier.

Seems a bit much.

-Really?!

-Mm-hm.

-What century did they get married in?!

-The 20th.

-That's extraordinary. Well, I know, but...

-Wow!

-Yes.

She must have loved him.

-I guess.

-Very, very much.

-I guess.

-2 million much.

Yeah, there you go. That is a lot.

-That's a lot.

-That is a lot of love.

Now, it's a very good guess, John Wayne for Giant,

but it's not John Wayne.

It's one of his very few films, actually, it's James Dean.

Would've scored you 10 points.

You're right about Andy Murray.

Beat Novak Djokovic in 2013. Would have scored you 30.

Now, this...

There's all sorts of presidents with first names as surnames,

so Grant was a very good one, Lincoln of course is one.

But this is Zachary Taylor.

-Ah.

-Very well done if you said that, cos it's a pointless answer.

-Really tough one.

-That is good, yeah.

Thank you, Richard. We are halfway through the round.

Let's take a quick look at those scores.

16, how do you like that, Henry? The best score of the pass.

Very well done indeed.

Then we come up to 27, where we find Daisy and Dave,

then up to 48, where we find Joe and Lorcan.

And then 64 is where we find Stephen and Daniela.

So, Daniela, we need a low-scoring answer from you in the next pass.

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Could the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more clues up on the board.

And here they are. We have got...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we are. Lorcan, welcome.

Good to have you here. Lorcan, what do you do?

I'm an optometrist, Xander.

You've got teeth and eyes, all dealt with in one family.

The whole shooting match.

Ah, what about that?

Who's the older of the pair of you?

I am, by two years.

And, Joe, you weren't tempted to go into eyes at all?

-Not particularly, no.

-Ah.

-Not really.

-Much cleaner organ, though.

-Much cleaner.

-Yeah.

-I suppose so.

In fact, self-cleansing.

Self cleansing, exactly.

Also, people don't breathe through their eyes,

which is, let's face it, an advantage.

Lorcan, what are your interests?

Yeah, I love music, I love movies, I love sport.

And I would be a big football fan,

I do a bit of cycling.

OK, stop. I'm going to stop you right there.

That is enough hobbies to be going on with for now.

Now, Lorcan. You're on 48, you're not the high scorers -

Stephen and Daniela are that - 15 is your target at this stage.

I'd like to have a bit more time on all of those,

cos I'm sure some of those are going to pop into my head,

like on the last board, but as I don't,

I think I'm going to have to go for

"Played Madison the mermaid in the 1984 film Splash,"

and that was Daryl Hannah.

Daryl Hannah, says Lorcan. Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Daryl Hannah,

you are through to Round Two.

How many of our 100 people said Daryl Hannah?

It's right.

Look at that, Lorcan. I think that's probably good enough.

27, taking your total up to 75.

Good work, Lorcan.

-We've talked about mermaids a lot on today's show.

-Oh, we have.

Sometimes we don't talk about them at all on the show.

-Now we've done it twice.

-I know, I know.

We've had Madge, we've had Splash. We've got... Amazing.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Daniela, welcome to Pointless.

Here from Harrogate. What keeps you busy in Harrogate?

Well, I've been a teacher of English as a foreign language, er...

..for 15 years.

So I decided to take a break.

And I like visiting the antiques shops in Harrogate.

How regularly do the antiques change?

If you're a regular visitor to the antiques shop,

do you find you go back a lot and think, "It's the same old stuff!"

Or in Harrogate presumably it just goes "ch-ch-ch-ch!"

No, they do change,

-but obviously the centres have different items.

-Yes, I see.

Whereas the little stores,

they don't change very often.

It's just nice to see what's around,

and how old things are and how much they cost, etc.

It's the happiest place in Britain, Harrogate.

-It is, yeah.

-So they say.

-Yeah, so they say.

So 64 is your score.

You are aiming to score 10 or less at this stage, Daniela,

-if you possibly can.

-Yes, unfortunately not.

The one I'll go for is

"Played the British Prime Minister in Love Actually" -

-Hugh Grant.

-Hugh Grant, says Daniela.

There is your red line. Quite low. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Hugh Grant.

It's right.

42. APPLAUSE

42, taking your total up to 106.

Yeah, probably most famous for being a Fulham fan, Hugh Grant.

-Is he really a Fulham fan?

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's nice.

-It's nice, isn't it?

Do you bump into him at the Cottage ever?

I haven't. He has not been there for a while,

or I haven't seen him if he has been there.

-Thank you. Harry, welcome.

-Hi.

Well, whose idea was it to come on the show?

Henry did the costumes - who was the driving force behind it?

I'd say it was a collaborative effort.

We lived together for a while,

and watching Pointless became a bit of a tradition,

so we thought, "Why not give it a try?"

Very good indeed. Now, Harry, what do you do?

I have recently graduated.

And I now work for a property-management company

based in London. We look after properties for landlords

and kind of run them like hotels.

-Through the internet.

-Oh, that sounds nice.

Yeah, it's good fun, I get out and about a lot.

Riding tubes and checking people in.

-And these are residential properties?

-Yeah.

So basically people saying,

"Oh, Harry, the boiler's not working again"?

That's not directly my job but I will answer the phone and say,

"That's horrible, sorry to hear that."

You put them straight on to the...

-Put you in touch with maintenance, yes.

-Good stuff.

So, Harry, there you are.

Brilliant low score from Henry in the first pass,

-which means 89 is your target.

-OK.

That's good that Henry did so well, cos I'm not very certain on these.

I'm going to go for the retired Bulls basketball player,

and hope that because of Air Jordans, it's Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan, says Harry.

Here's your red line, lovely and high.

Let's hope Michael Jordan is right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

And you're through.

12. Very strong indeed. APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 28.

Yeah, retired three times in all, Michael Jordan.

And, 2014, Forbes said he is officially a billionaire.

That's on account of all the gold clocks he'd been given,

-I should think.

-Yes, exactly.

-LAUGHTER

Thank you very much. Now, Dave. Welcome.

Good to have you here, Dave. What do you do?

I do the business development for an aerospace company.

Now that sounds interesting.

-Do you do this in the British Isles?

-Yes, yes.

Or do you travel all over the world?

Mainly in the UK, but a bit in Europe, as well.

Interesting. And what are your hobbies outside that world?

-Play a bit of golf.

-Mm-hm.

Follow Fulham, as well.

-Do you?

-Yep.

-Come on, you Whites.

-Oh, yes.

LAUGHTER

-That's nice.

-That is nice.

I like them on podium one.

Yes, I thought you might. I thought you might.

Now, Dave. There you are, 27.

Your target's 78. 78 or less, you're through.

Do you want to talk us through the board, fill in the names?

The top one, I believe, will be Dean Martin.

And the UK Prime Minister, Harold Wilson?

But I'll go for Dean Martin.

Dean Martin, says Dave.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dean Martin.

Here is your red line - again, nice and high.

You're through. Very well done.

37, taking your total up to 64. APPLAUSE

Yeah, that was Dean Martin's only ever UK number one.

-Was it really?

-Yeah. He had more famous songs, I think,

but that's the only UK number one he had.

You're right about Harold Wilson, UK Prime Minister.

That would have scored you 28 points,

would have been a slightly better answer.

Do you remember who played Doc Brown in Back To The Future?

-He was also in Taxi.

-What was his name? Yes. Brilliant.

-Christopher Lloyd.

-Christopher Lloyd. Yes, thank you.

He would have scored you 16.

And the other one, more famous for another role now.

-Daniel Craig.

-Daniel Craig is absolutely right.

And it's the best answer on the board, 7 points,

-so well done if you said that.

-Thank you very much.

We are at the end of our first round.

And we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs,

and I'm very sorry to say the pair in question is Stephen and Daniela,

with your high score of 106. We will see you again next time,

and I'm sure you'll go much, much further.

In the meantime, thank you very much indeed, Stephen and Daniela.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so suddenly we are down to three pairs -

look at that. Oh, it's a brutal game, this.

At the end of this round, we'll just be down to two pairs -

can you believe it? Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

It's a Words round.

Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

-U-I-T, Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any word

which has its own entry in the British and World English section

of OxfordDictionaries.com please, that ends U-I-T.

As always, no hyphenated words and no proper nouns.

Very best of luck.

-It's an interesting one.

-It is an interesting one.

-Yeah.

-It is an interesting one.

-Got your thinking head.

-Yes, thank you.

Thank you. Dave.

Um...

-Let's try biscuit.

-BARELY-AUDIBLE MURMURING

That's earnt you a... HE INHALES SHARPLY

..from three people. LAUGHTER

Biscuit. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Biscuit.

26 for biscuit.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, biscuit.

-It means biscuit.

-Mm. Oh, right.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Harry.

HE SIGHS

I can't think of as many as I'd like to.

-Yes, I know what you mean.

-It's an odd suffix.

I'm going to just go for conduit.

-Conduit.

-Conduit.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for conduit.

47 for conduit.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, a channel for conveying water

and obviously has come to mean sort of a go-between -

all sorts of different ways of using conduit.

Thank you very much indeed.

Lorcan.

I have one in my head that's...

I think, if it's right, could be low enough,

and another one that's safe.

Which to go for?

I think I'm going to play it safe,

and I'm going to go for pursuit.

Pursuit, says Lorcan.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said pursuit.

APPLAUSE

13. Very well done.

Lowest score of the round so far.

Yes, as in pursuing someone, pursuit.

As in, "I was in pursuit of a biscuit."

LAUGHTER

"I couldn't find one - in the end, I had to employ a conduit...

"..whose pursuit of a biscuit paid off."

-And that's all I have to say about that.

-Thank you very much.

We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

13, the best score of that pass, Lorcan, very well done indeed.

Lorcan and Joe looking very strong.

Then up to 26, where we find Dave and Daisy.

Then up to 47, where we find Harry and Henry.

Henry, you know what we need -

we need a lovely low score. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Joe, remember, words ending U-I-T.

JOE SIGHS

Well, I've got one I think is right.

And I have another one that... I don't think I'll gamble on it.

I'm going to say circuit.

Circuit. Circuit, says Joe.

Here is your red line. Get below that with circuit,

you are into the next round for sure.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said circuit.

Very well done indeed.

That gets you through with room to spare.

8. APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 21.

And that means circuit, essentially.

But in cycling, a pursuit is done on a circuit.

Mm.

That's a pursuit circuit.

-You're still thinking of a word!

-Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

I've got one, it's just a bit... HE IMITATES CREAKING

-It's a bit... You know.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

I'm not sure if it's one or two words, to be honest, but I'm...

-My hunch is...

-OK, I've guessed one for you, anyway.

Oh, that's nice, thank you.

So then, Henry.

I've got one, I think.

And I think it's going to count, as well, so... Hopefully.

-I do hope it does.

-Yeah.

I'm going to say dragon fruit.

That was the one I wasn't sure if it was one or two words.

Yeah, I've gone for it.

-Look at that.

-Yeah.

That's... You didn't have that for me, did you?

-Hm?

-Did you have a dragon fruit for me?

-No, I don't have a dragon fruit for you.

-That's a shame.

Right, yes, Henry. Dragon fruit.

Can I just say, regardless of what happens on the tower,

that is an exceptional answer.

LAUGHTER

-That's all I need.

-That is...brilliant.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

There's no red line, I'm afraid, as you're the high scorers.

But let's see how far down the column we get with dragon fruit.

Ah...

Oh, Henry.

-That's disappointing.

-That is disappointing.

I tell you what's really unfair about that

is you get 100 points for it, I now get to choose something else.

LAUGHTER It's really unfair.

147 is your total there.

Listen, I'm always supportive of contestants

when they get the wrong answer,

but that's a terrible answer, what are you thinking?!

Honestly, I barely...

I can't remember hearing a worse answer than that.

Who in their right minds...?

Listen, I guess you're young, so that's fine.

-LAUGHING:

-But I would think anyone over, say, 25

who thinks that dragon fruit is one word...

HE LAUGHS

Can you imagine?! Can you imagine?

It's dragon fruit. It would be two words.

-Dragon fruit.

-Yeah.

You would have to be an absolute nincompoop

-to imagine that that was one word...

-Daisy!

LAUGHTER

-Daisy. Listen, you can have some fun here.

-Yeah.

You can make any kind of portmanteau word up you like - you're through.

Yeah, I've been trying to have a think.

It's quite a difficult one.

I was thinking about maybe something like unquit,

or I don't know if you can recircuit something,

but I think what I'm going to go for is Inuit.

Inuit. Inuit, says Daisy.

Well, let's see how many of our 100 people said Inuit.

There is no red line for you, cos you're already through.

-Oh.

-Ah. There might be a proper-noun issue here.

But that, I'm afraid,

for some reason is incorrect.

Doesn't matter, you're through anyway.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 126.

Yeah, proper noun, I'm afraid, but you're along the right lines,

especially something like recircuit. Recircuit not a word.

Repursuit is a word, funnily enough, and that was a pointless answer.

But no unquit and no recircuit, but those are the words we like.

Have you got another answer?

Squit.

-Excuse me?

-Squit. LAUGHTER

Squit?

-Two points.

-Oh, well, that's all right.

-So well done.

Although you got 100 points...

Obviously my first answer was dragon fruit.

..cos you went for Dragon fruit.

I was thinking along similar lines to you.

My prediction for you was breadfruit.

-Oh, that's nice.

-That's what I thought you were going to go for.

-Yes, that is good.

-Thank you.

I had the answers in front of me, to be fair,

so it's not all my own work.

One point, that would have scored you.

-Shall we take a look at some pointless answers?

-Yes.

There's a few of them up here.

Catsuit is a pointless answer. That would've been a nice one.

Missuit, simply not to suit somebody.

Multicircuit is a pointless answer - would've been a nice one.

Reduit, which is like a redoubt - it's like a fortress, essentially.

There's repursuit.

Sleepsuit a pointless answer as well, all one word.

Spacesuit, superfruit, and sweatsuit also a pointless answer.

-Oh, sweatsuit.

-Shall we take a look at the top three?

-Please.

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

Fruit would've scored you 44.

Conduit, very high up, isn't it? 47.

It sort of comes straight to your mind, though, when you see U-I-T.

-It does, doesn't it?

-For some reason.

And right at the top, suit with 67.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So we are at the end of our second round.

I'm afraid to say the pair we have to say goodbye to,

with their high score of 147, Henry and Harry,

I'm afraid it is you. Very strong start in Round One.

Oh, it's annoying, isn't it?

When you see those pointless answers,

you think, of course, "Oh, of course! Of course!"

I'm sorry, though. Dragon fruit. Ah...

Anyway, we'll see you again next time.

I'm sure you'll go much further.

In the meantime, thanks very much, Henry and Harry.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Joe and Lorcan, Daisy and Dave,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently still stands at £1,000.

But the good news is we are here in the head-to-head,

where all sorts of things happen.

You're allowed to chat before you give your answers, which is nice,

and the first pair to win two questions

will go through to that final.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And your first question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yep, we're going to show you five items of clothing now

which don't tend to be worn so much any more.

We just need you to tell us what they are, please.

We're going to give you the first and last letters of each word.

Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five items of Historical Fashion,

and here they are.

There we are.

Five items of Historical Fashion.

Joe and Lorcan, you are our low-scorers, so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Er, this is not a good round for us.

We're not up on our Historical Fashion at all.

We're probably just going to have to go cravat, E.

OK, E, cravat, say Joe and Lorcan.

Now, Daisy and Dave,

do you want to talk us through all these beautiful items?

-DAISY:

-That was the only that one we knew.

THEY LAUGH

What are you thinking?

We're not sure of any of the answers, to be honest.

We'll go A and say reef.

Reef?

So we have cravat and we have...

You thought cravat was a bad answer! LAUGHTER

Cravat and reef.

Says the man who just said dragon fruit!

LAUGHTER

So, Joe and Lorcan. E, cravat.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

55 for cravat.

Daisy and Dave have gone for reef...

..for A, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said reef.

Bad luck.

Very well done, Joe and Lorcan. After one question, you are up 1-0.

A is actually the biggest scorer of all -

would have beaten cravat, even,

-A is a...?

-Ruff.

-A ruff, yeah.

That would've scored you 68 points.

-B?

-Doublet.

It is a doublet, doublet and hose.

That would've scored you 25.

Do you know C?

That one I can't think of.

-It's crinoline.

-Oh, it's crinoline. Oh, I did know that.

But I didn't KNOW it.

Would've scored you 24.

-And D.

-A bustle.

-You will have heard of it.

It's a bustle, yeah, absolutely right.

And that would've scored 17.

I know we say none of these are worn any more,

but if you ever go down to Shoreditch,

literally everyone's wearing this stuff.

-Some people are wearing all of them at once.

-Yeah, yeah.

If you don't have a ruff and a bustle in Shoreditch,

-they send you home.

-Mm.

Thank you very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Daisy and Dave, you get to answer it first,

but remember you've got to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

Our second question today is all about...

-Richard.

-Yep, five clues now to facts about The Number 13.

-It can't be unlucky for both teams, right?

-Can't be.

Thank you. OK, let's reveal our five clues about The Number 13.

And they are...

I'm going to read those all again.

Daisy and Dave.

-DAVE:

-Hmm.

-HE LAUGHS

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Um, yeah, we don't know many.

We'll go for the third one, and say aluminium.

Aluminium, say Daisy and Dave.

Now then, Joe and Lorcan, it's over to you.

Talk us through that board if you can.

I know the Roman numerals.

The British rock band, I think we know, as well.

Think it's Blur.

Royal London residence, wouldn't entirely be sure about that.

And also the 1907 novel, Friday, The Thirteenth,

I wouldn't be too sure of that one, either.

Yeah, I think we're going to go with Blur.

-Blur for the second one.

-OK, Blur, the British rock band.

So we have aluminium and we have Blur.

Daisy and Dave went for aluminium.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

62 for aluminium.

Joe and Lorcan, meanwhile, have gone for Blur.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Very well done indeed.

And down Blur goes, passing 13 to 8.

And it means, Joe and Lorcan, that after only two questions,

you are straight through to the final, 2-0. Very well done.

Let's fill these in, shall we?

Yeah, the Roman numerals representing number 13

is the biggest scorer up there.

Of course, it's XIII, would have scored 81.

The Royal London residence...

-Buckingham Palace.

-It is Buckingham Palace, yep.

That would've scored 32. And the author?

It's Thomas W Lawson and it's a pointless answer,

so terrific work if you got that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we are at the end of our head-to-head round,

and I'm afraid the pair we have to say goodbye to are Daisy and Dave.

Good news really, though, cos it means we see you again next time.

If you'd gone through to the final, that would've just...

Ah, that would've just been it. All over in one show.

But, no, we'll see you next time

and I'm sure you'll do just as well, if not better.

But thanks very much, meantime. Daisy and Dave.

-APPLAUSE

-Cheers.

But for Joe and Lorcan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Joe and Lorcan,

you have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

Thank you.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There it is.

It's good news for the eyes and teeth of Northern Ireland.

But it is... It's bad news for us

because it means you're only on the show for one appearance, that's it.

It's been lovely having you on - what a performance.

-Really, really strong.

-Thank you.

Consistent low scores from you, so very well done, 2-0.

Any particular things you'd love to see come up this round?

-Film would be good for us.

-Mm-hm.

-And music.

-Yeah, music.

-And sport.

-Movies, sport, yeah.

-Movies mostly, I think.

Yeah. OK, well, fingers crossed.

Let's hope there's something you like the look of on today's board.

It reads like this. We have got...

I don't know. We would have to - we'd have to go for Fifa World Cup,

-cos at least you have a chance, as well.

-Right.

-We'll have to go for Fifa World Cup.

-Yeah.

-Fifa World Cup it is. Richard.

Good to see a dentist avoiding Sugar there.

-Well done.

-LAUGHTER

Yeah, we're looking for any

of the following three things, please. Best of luck with these.

We're looking for any team who has made the semifinal

in a men's football World Cup from 1966 through to 2014, please.

So any nation been represented in the semifinals,

as they were named at the time of the semifinal.

Any winners of the Golden Ball - which is the best player -

at any World Cup. That's from 1982 to 2014.

Or any winners of the Best Young Player of a World Cup

and that's '66 to 2014 again.

So the teams in the semifinals and the winners of the Best Young Player

both 1966 to 2014,

or the winner of the Golden Ball, and that's 1982 to 2014.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Yep, we're ready.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, teams in the semifinal.

Did South Korea get to the semifinal one year?

-I don't know. Cameroon, did Cameroon?

-Yeah, maybe.

I don't know if they got all the way to the semifinal, though.

Winners of the Golden Ball - Paolo Rossi.

Did Rossi win it?

What about Roger Milla?

-Yeah, that's another one, yeah.

-Roger Milla might have won it.

-Yeah.

-What about Best Young Player?

Um...

Ronaldo or...

THEY CONFER

-The winner of the Golden Ball?

-Yeah, we're going to have to go...

Teams in the semifinal...

Did South Korea get as far as the semifinal, though?

-They might've done, yeah.

-Hungary?

-Hungary?

-Yeah.

Did they?

THEY CONFER

-What are we going to go for?

-Er...

-Ten seconds left.

-We'll go for...

-Paolo Rossi?

-Yeah.

-BOTH:

-And...

Teams in the semifinals.

South Korea, we'll go for South Korea.

OK, that is your minute up. Let's have your three answers.

What are you going to go for?

-We're going to go South Korea in the semifinal.

-OK, South Korea.

Paolo Rossi for the Golden Ball.

Paolo Rossi.

Roger Milla, Roger Milla for the...

I think he's old...

For the winner of the Golden Ball?

Oh, yeah, we'll go Roger Milla, then.

Roger Milla. Now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Roger Milla, maybe.

-Roger Milla.

-OK, Roger Milla we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-South Korea.

-Yeah.

-South Korea we'll put first.

Well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We have got South Korea, Paolo Rossi and Roger Milla.

Well, very, very best of luck. Three good answers there.

If one of these turns out to be pointless

and wins you that jackpot, what would you like to do with it? Joe?

I should really take the family on holiday,

but I'll probably buy another guitar.

I'm so glad you said guitar rather than little mirror on a stick.

-I have enough of those.

-Oh, OK. Fair enough. Another guitar.

Lorcan, how about you?

Well, it's a toss-up between either taking the kids to Legoland

or taking them to Glastonbury, like, so I think Glastonbury may win.

-Yeah, yeah.

-There we are. Well, very, very best of luck.

Three good answers, as I say. Your first answer was South Korea.

In this case, we're looking for any team

that's made it to the semifinals of a Fifa World Cup.

If this is pointless, it will win you £1,000.

How many people said South Korea?

It's right.

Now, if this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Down goes South Korea through the 30s,

into the teens, into single figures.

Still going down, down it goes.

Down to three.

That's a great score.

Sadly, not a pointless answer.

So we move onto your next answer, which is Paolo Rossi.

In this case, we were looking for winners of the Golden Ball.

Paolo Rossi. If Paolo Rossi is pointless, it wins you the £1,000.

How many people said Paolo Rossi?

Again, it's right. South Korea took us all the way down to three.

Paolo Rossi - how far down will we go with him?

Down we go through the teens, we're into single figures, yes, we are.

Still going down, still going.

Oh, we're stuck at three again. AUDIENCE GROANS

OK. The pressure of two answers on that threshold at three

surely is enough to break through.

This last answer must go down to pointless, surely.

Roger Milla is your last answer -

once again we're looking for winners of the Golden Ball.

Let's see how many people said Roger Milla.

For £1,000, is it pointless?

Oh, bad luck.

Bad luck. Valid attempt, though. Two very good answers -

three is a fabulous score at this stage of the game.

But, annoyingly, we only accept pointless answers

and you just didn't find that pointless answer you needed,

so I'm afraid today's jackpot of £1,000 will roll over

onto the next show. But it's been brilliant having you on.

Thank you so much. Really strong performance across the show

and you get to take home a Pointless trophy each,

so very well done indeed, Joe and Lorcan.

Yeah, not a bad category.

Look, there'll be answers up there that you know but in that 60 seconds

it's very hard and you came up with two very, very good answers.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Belgium, Bulgaria, Poland and Turkey -

all of those were pointless answers,

Soviet Union as well is the other pointless answer there.

We will take a little look now at the winners of the Golden Ball.

There's only two pointless answers here.

Diego Forlan and Oliver Kahn, the German goalie.

I think in the year that Roger Milla had a great World Cup,

I think Toto Schillaci won it that year, the Italian,

who would've scored you two points. More pointless answers,

quite a few pointless answers for the Best Young Player,

and some very famous players, as well.

Franz Beckenbauer won it in 1966 -

funny to think of him as a young player.

Lukas Podolski, Marc Overmars, the Dutchman, Paul Pogba -

of course, very famous these days, playing for Man United.

You could've had Cabrini, you could've had Enzo Scifo of Belgium,

Landon Donovan, Manuel Amoros, Robert Prosinecki,

Teofilo Cubillas, the Peruvian,

or Wladyslaw Zmuda in 1974.

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

-and unlucky in the studio. It's tough in those 60 seconds.

-Mm.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

And thanks very much, Joe and Lorcan.

Sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE