Episode 33 Pointless


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Episode 33

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

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and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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I'm Will, this is my wife, Polly.

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We're from the village of Sutton Bonington in Nottinghamshire.

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Couple number two.

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My name's Paul, this is Scott.

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We're colleagues and friends from Birmingham.

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Couple number three.

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I'm Andy, this is my mum Trudy, and we're from London.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Samarth and this is Karan.

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He's from Manchester and I'm from London.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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A very warm welcome to each and every one of you.

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We'll get a chance to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He's just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of him,

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or he might run off with the questions. It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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-APPLAUSE

-Hiya.

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Hey, everybody. Hiya.

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Hello, sir.

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-Hello.

-We've given away two jackpots in a row, haven't we?

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-I know.

-Lovely Andrew and Alison won it last time, very impressive stuff.

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Two returning pairs from that show.

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We've got Paul and Scott, who got knocked out in Round One.

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We need to see a little bit more of them this time, hopefully.

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And Samarth and Karan on podium four got knocked out in Round Two.

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So no-one here who's been through to a head-to-head as yet.

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It's a wide-open field, I would say.

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-It is, I'd say, yeah.

-I would say it is as well.

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-I agree with you.

-You would have said it first.

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Yeah, but you would have said it anyway.

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I think I would have done.

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Shall we get on with the show?

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Now, Alison and Andrew won the jackpot last time,

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so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

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There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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As if you would forget this, but I'm just going to say it all the same.

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The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

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eliminated. The highest score.

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So just keep those scores low.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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-Richard.

-Seven clues on each pass,

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the answer to each of them are women who have held various positions of

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power in various countries.

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Just need you to tell us the name of the women, please.

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There's going to be 14 to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

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Thanks very much indeed.

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So, we are looking for the answers to these clues to powerful women.

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Our first board of seven reads like this.

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I shall read those all one last time.

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There we are. Will, welcome.

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Great to have you here from your village near Loughborough.

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-What's the name of your village, did you say?

-Sutton Bonington.

-In Nottinghamshire.

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-Yeah.

-And what keeps you busy up there, Will?

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I've been retired nine years now,

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but what did keep me busy was, soon after we retired we built our own

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house, and lived in a caravan with three dogs and two cats through the

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winter of 2010.

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When was the house meant to be ready by?

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It was ready when it was meant to be ready.

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OK. So you volunteered to go through the winter in a caravan?

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-You thought all the animals would keep you warm?

-We didn't know the weather was going to be so bad.

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-What month did you move into the house?

-April, just before Easter, as we'd hoped.

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Oh, that must have been heaven.

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-Space. Dog beds.

-It was quite a change, yes.

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Will, what would you like to go for on our historic board?

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I think I'll go for the first one, the Nine-Day Queen.

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I believe that was Lady Jane Grey.

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Lady Jane Grey, says Will.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lady Jane Grey.

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It's right.

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Down it goes, 14.

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Very well done, Will, great start to the show.

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14 for Lady Jane Grey.

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-Yeah, it's a very good start to the show, Lady Jane Grey. Good name as well.

-Mmm.

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-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-Mmm. Mmm.

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Paul, welcome back.

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-Hello.

-Now, Paul,

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we had to say goodbye to you last time in Round One.

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-Yes.

-Way too soon, way too soon.

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Today, obviously, hoping to go much, much further.

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Paul, remind us what you do.

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I'm a police officer.

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A police officer. Have you been a police officer all your adult career?

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No, only the last eight years.

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What were you doing before that?

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I worked in construction design work, which is a lot different.

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Yeah, very different.

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-Complete change.

-I got bored of the rat race and just thought I wanted

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-to try something with a bit of variety.

-How nice.

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And how long was the training for the changeover from one...?

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18 weeks.

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OK. And do you come down to London for a part of that?

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-Is that something that every police officer does?

-No, it's just all in Birmingham.

-Very good.

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-Now, Paul.

-Yes.

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Our historical powerful women board.

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How are you finding it?

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I think I know the last Queen of Egypt, which...

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-..Cleopatra.

-Cleopatra, says Paul.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Cleopatra.

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It's right. 14 is our only score at this point.

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44 is where you end up, Paul.

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Not bad. Not bad at all.

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Well played, Paul. Yes.

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She committed suicide by allowing a cobra to bite her.

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Hmm!

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-Bit much.

-Mmm, a little bit.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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-Now, Trudy, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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What do you do, Trudy?

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I'm retired, but the saying goes I never knew how I found time to work,

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cos I'm a very busy lady doing charity work and also travelling.

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I have three pals who I used to work with, we're called the Golden Girls,

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and we go away each year for about a week or so.

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I bet you have a riot.

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-We do!

-Imagine being on holiday with the Golden Girls!

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Look how long-suffering Andy looks, by the way.

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He's not invited!

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-You know what, he looks gutted about that, doesn't he?

-Yeah!

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With four old ladies, yeah.

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Where are the Golden Girls going next, Trudy?

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Well, we've just been to Scotland and Ireland.

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We went to the Orkneys and the Hebrides, which was a lot of fun.

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We're working on next year as we speak.

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OK, very well. Keep us posted, Trudy.

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-Will do.

-What would you like to go for on this board?

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I am going to go for the last Stuart monarch,

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and hope that it's Queen Anne.

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Queen Anne, says Trudy.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Queen Anne.

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It is Queen Anne.

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44 is our high score, 14 is our low.

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You pass the high.

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You pass the low. Down to six.

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Very well done indeed, Trudy.

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Very well played, Trudy.

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Terrific answer. Yeah, one of her footmen was William Fortnum,

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and while he was working for her he rented a room off Hugh Mason and

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-suggested they go into business, and they opened Fortnum & Mason's.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

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-Isn't that extraordinary?

-Yeah.

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-How about that?

-There you are. Thank you.

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Now, Karan.

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Welcome back to Pointless. Remind us what you do, Karan.

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-So, I'm a doctor.

-You are a doctor, in intensive care.

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In intensive care at the moment, yes.

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Now, I mean, that must be quite high stress, mustn't it?

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It can be.

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Patients can be really unwell, but often they can be unwell but stable,

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-so...

-I see.

-It varies day to day, but that's what I like about it.

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OK, yeah. A slightly high-pressure situation to be in, I'd have thought,

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of all the departments. Now, Karan, what are your interests?

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So I really like cooking in my spare time.

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Do you have a particular kind of thing that is your favourite speciality

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-to cook?

-I've got a nice little pizza recipe that I can...

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So what's your secret?

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Oh, well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret.

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I suddenly realised that, yes.

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OK...

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Karan, what would you like to go for on this board?

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History's not a strong point of mine.

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I will guess the Queen of France...

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..executed after the revolution, perhaps,

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hopefully, Marie Antoinette.

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Marie Antoinette, says Karan.

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Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Marie Antoinette.

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Still going down. 30, not bad at all.

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APPLAUSE

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30 for Marie Antoinette.

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Well played, everybody, there.

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Austrian princess, she married Louis XVI when she was 14 years old,

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Marie Antoinette. We will start at the bottom.

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Very well done if you said that.

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Very well done if you said that, it's a pointless answer.

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Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round

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so let's have a little look at those scores.

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Gold star to the Golden Girl, Trudy.

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Six, beautifully low score there.

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Very well done indeed. Then we travel up to 14, Will and Polly,

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up to 30, where we find Karan and Samarth,

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and then 44, Paul and Scott.

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So, Scott, you're the high-scorers.

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Let's have a low score from you in this next pass, please, Scott.

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We're going to come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, let's put seven more historical clues to powerful women

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up on the board, and here they are.

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I'm going to read those all again.

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There we are. Now, Samarth, welcome back.

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Now, remind us what you do, Samarth.

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I freelance for a motorsports magazine.

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See, that is fun.

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How far do you travel to do all your coverage?

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It's about, like, a two-and-a-half-hour drive sometimes.

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I see. So it's very much UK-based?

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-Yeah.

-Samarth, there you are, you're on 30.

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The high-scorers at the moment, Scott and Paul on 44.

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13 or less would guarantee you a place in the next round.

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This is a tough one for me.

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I'm going to have to go for the bottom one and go for Queen Mary.

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Queen Mary. Queen Mary, says Samarth.

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Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

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It's quite low, but let's see how far down the column

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we get with Queen Mary.

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It's right.

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Not bad. 49, takes your total up to 79.

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Yeah, the daughter of Catherine of Aragon.

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The Tudors were very much the sort of Kardashians of their day,

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-weren't they?

-I believe so.

-In a very real sense.

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-Slightly worse behaved, to be fair.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

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Now, Andy. Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

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-What do you do, Andy?

-I work in marketing for an insurance company.

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Very good. Where do you do that, in London?

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I work in Hayes, which is also where I live.

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-In Middlesex.

-Yes.

-I see, yes.

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And what are your interests, Andy?

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Big sports fan, big football fan, and I'm also a drummer.

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I play the drums in a band.

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-What kind of band is it?

-Rock music.

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-Rock music.

-Yeah.

-OK, very good.

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But covers, or original compositions?

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No, originals. Our own stuff, yeah.

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Very good for you. Drumming.

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They always say, the drummers in bands,

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they outlive everyone else in bands because they're so fit.

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-I hope so, yeah.

-Yeah.

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There we are.

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That's a long way off yet, obviously.

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-Sure, sure.

-But anyway, to our board of historical figures.

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-OK.

-Who are you going to go for?

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Yeah, it's not the best for me.

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I think I'm going to go for the third one,

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19th-century British monarch.

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I think that's Queen Victoria.

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Queen Victoria, the Grandmother of Europe.

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Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line, nice and high.

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Get below that with Queen Victoria and you are into Round Two.

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Well done.

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There we are, 40.

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Taking your total up to 46, a nice low total.

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Yeah, pretty poor show from our 100 there,

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only 40 of them getting Queen Victoria.

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Her grandchildren were very, very heavily involved in World War I

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because of course there was George in England

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and there was Kaiser Wilhelm.

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They did not have Christmas, I don't think, in 1915.

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I don't think they had a big family get-together.

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-I don't think they did, no.

-Can you imagine?

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She should have banged their heads together, I think.

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She should have. Come down as a ghost.

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Oh, yes, of course, yes, at that point she was no longer with us.

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A lot of ghosts can't do physical things.

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No, that's true.

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There we are. Now, Scott.

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-Hello.

-Scott, welcome back.

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-Remind us what you do.

-Police officer, Birmingham.

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-Police officer.

-22 years.

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What are your interests, aside from the long arm of the law?

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I like cooking as well, reading books, sport.

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Good stuff. OK, now, Scott, what would you like to go for?

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None of them, to be fair.

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I don't know any of them.

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That's why my daughter's going to kill me

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about the second wife of Henry VIII, because I should know it.

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Jane Seymour.

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Jane Seymour for the second wife of Henry VIII.

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There is your red line.

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Let's see what happens when we say Jane Seymour.

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I'm sorry, Scott.

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I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

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it takes your total up to 144.

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-Not Jane Seymour, I'm afraid.

-Sorry, Scott.

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We'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

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There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

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Now then, Polly, welcome to Pointless.

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Lovely to have you here.

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Polly, what do you do?

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Well, I'm retired now, but I've got quite a few interests.

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What was the last job you did?

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The last bit of paid employment, I used to run chicken-keeping courses.

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Yeah, well, obviously. Yes.

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How long is the course for chicken-keeping?

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It was all day, and...

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, right, so it's all day. I was going to say, there's not...

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I mean, we keep chickens,

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and I'm sorry to say I haven't been on a course as such yet.

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-Right.

-What are the basic things you have to learn?

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We teach you where the cloaca is.

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Obviously, yes, the cloaca.

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And the question I'm asked most frequently is, do you need a cock to

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produce eggs? And the answer is no.

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Yes. To produce chicks, yes, but eggs, no.

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There we are. OK, now, Polly, you're through to the next round.

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Would you like to talk us through the board

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and fill in all the blanks?

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The top one's on the tip of my tongue but won't come.

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I haven't got a clue about the Chinese ruler.

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The second wife of Henry VIII is Anne Boleyn.

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And I think the Queen of Denmark is Queen Margrethe,

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but I'm not 100% certain, so I'll go for Anne Boleyn, please.

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Anne Boleyn, says Polly.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

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There's no red line because you're already through.

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33, not bad at all.

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47 is your total.

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Yes, let's fill in some of these. Some low scorers up here.

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Wu Zetian was a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that.

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Thank you very much, Richard. We are at the end of our first round.

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The pair we have to say goodbye to, with their high score of 144,

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oh, Scott and Paul.

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It's too soon, it's too soon.

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For the second time, we have to send you away.

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It's been great having you on the show, thank you so much for playing.

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-Scott and Paul.

-Thank you.

0:17:310:17:32

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:17:350:17:38

And just like that, we're down to three pairs.

0:17:420:17:44

And at the end of this round, just like that,

0:17:440:17:46

we will be down to two pairs.

0:17:460:17:48

Trudy, very, very well done,

0:17:480:17:49

our lowest score of the whole round there.

0:17:490:17:51

Fabulous low-scoring.

0:17:510:17:53

And thanks to that, Trudy and Andy, our lowest combined score as well.

0:17:530:17:56

But best of luck to all three pairs.

0:17:560:17:58

Our category for our next round is...

0:17:580:18:01

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

0:18:040:18:06

who's going to go second?

0:18:060:18:08

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:18:080:18:10

OK. Let's find out what the question is.

0:18:130:18:16

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:18:160:18:22

..as they could.

0:18:260:18:28

Curium and mendelevium.

0:18:280:18:30

Simply looking for any element on the periodic table that appears

0:18:300:18:33

alphabetically between those two, please, and that's as of June 2016.

0:18:330:18:37

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:18:370:18:38

Now, Polly.

0:18:380:18:40

I'm going to go for einsteinium.

0:18:410:18:43

Einsteinium, says Polly, getting a vigorous nod from Samarth.

0:18:430:18:47

Let's see if it's right.

0:18:470:18:48

Let's see how many of our 100 people said einsteinium.

0:18:480:18:50

It's right.

0:18:530:18:54

Look at that. Very well done indeed. Down it goes to eight.

0:19:000:19:03

-Eight for einsteinium.

-Well played.

0:19:040:19:07

Yes, it's a radioactive metal.

0:19:070:19:09

They only make a few milligrams each year, tiny amounts.

0:19:090:19:13

Thank you, Richard. Now, Trudy.

0:19:130:19:15

-Holmium.

-Holmium, holmium.

0:19:180:19:21

Let's see if it's right,

0:19:210:19:22

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:19:220:19:24

It's right. Einsteinium scored eight.

0:19:280:19:31

Holmium leaves eight in its wake...

0:19:330:19:35

Very, very well done indeed, Trudy.

0:19:350:19:38

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to...

0:19:380:19:41

And it scores you nothing. Very well done indeed.

0:19:430:19:45

That's a terrific answer, Trudy, very well played.

0:19:450:19:47

Can I ask if you have in-depth chemistry knowledge,

0:19:470:19:49

or do you have in-depth knowledge of chemistry rounds on Pointless?

0:19:490:19:52

-The latter.

-Yeah.

0:19:520:19:53

-And a book of lists.

-Perfect. Holmium is good

0:19:530:19:56

because we tend to go for some of the longer ones,

0:19:560:19:58

and holmium is always there as a pointless answer.

0:19:580:20:00

That's very impressive. I'm not sure anyone's used it before.

0:20:000:20:03

I mean, they've used it in the world,

0:20:030:20:05

-but I don't think anyone's used it on Pointless before.

-No, no.

0:20:050:20:08

Thank you very much indeed.

0:20:080:20:09

Samarth.

0:20:090:20:11

Yeah.

0:20:110:20:12

OK, francium. I'm going to go for francium.

0:20:140:20:16

Francium. OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said francium.

0:20:160:20:20

It's right.

0:20:240:20:25

Down it goes. Eight our high, nought our low.

0:20:270:20:30

Down to two.

0:20:300:20:31

Very well done indeed, Samarth.

0:20:310:20:33

Two for francium.

0:20:330:20:35

Yeah, and the existence of that was discovered by Marguerite Perey

0:20:380:20:42

-a long time ago.

-Way back.

-Francium.

0:20:420:20:44

-Francium.

-French fancies, you get those little...

0:20:440:20:47

-Fondant francies, they call them.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

0:20:470:20:50

We're halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

0:20:500:20:52

Well, nothing, Trudy. Once again, Trudy the Golden Girl.

0:20:520:20:55

Then up to two, where we find Samarth and Karan.

0:20:550:20:57

Then up to eight, where we find Polly and Will.

0:20:570:20:59

So, Will, who would have thought that would be a high score?

0:20:590:21:02

We are requiring a low score from you when we get to you,

0:21:020:21:04

so good luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

0:21:040:21:06

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:21:060:21:09

Now then, Karan, that's a man who is confident.

0:21:120:21:15

I think you've got a good answer there, Karan.

0:21:150:21:17

-Wow, OK.

-I think, I think.

0:21:170:21:18

I... The name dubnium is coming to mind.

0:21:200:21:23

Dubnium.

0:21:230:21:25

OK. Here is your red line. It's quite low.

0:21:250:21:27

Let's see if you can get below this with dubnium.

0:21:270:21:30

How many of our 100 people said it?

0:21:300:21:32

You've done it.

0:21:410:21:43

Down to pointless! Very well done indeed.

0:21:430:21:44

That's another pointless answer,

0:21:440:21:46

adds another £250 to today's jackpot.

0:21:460:21:48

Takes the total up to...

0:21:480:21:49

Scores you nothing, leaves your total at two.

0:21:510:21:53

Very well done indeed.

0:21:530:21:55

It's terrific stuff, and again, not one of the usual suspects,

0:21:550:21:57

dubnium, so it's a very good answer.

0:21:570:21:59

Again, a highly radioactive metal,

0:21:590:22:00

only a few atoms have ever been made.

0:22:000:22:02

Quite right. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:22:020:22:04

Now. Oh, Andy, imagine if we could get double pointless.

0:22:040:22:08

What about that, double pointless? Trudy, do you think he's up to it?

0:22:080:22:11

Absolutely. That's my boy!

0:22:110:22:14

-LAUGHTER

-No pressure!

0:22:140:22:16

-OK. Quite a lot of pressure, I think, Andy, there.

-Yeah.

0:22:160:22:18

What are you going to go for?

0:22:180:22:21

I'm going to go for germanium.

0:22:210:22:23

Germanium. Germanium.

0:22:230:22:25

OK. Here is your red line.

0:22:250:22:27

Get below that with germanium, you're through to the head-to-head.

0:22:270:22:30

Let's see how far down the column we get.

0:22:300:22:32

It's right.

0:22:350:22:36

You're through.

0:22:410:22:43

Down to one!

0:22:430:22:44

Down to one, Andy, that's really not bad at all.

0:22:440:22:46

One is superb,

0:22:460:22:48

takes your total up to one, the lowest total of the round.

0:22:480:22:52

It's no holmium, though, really, Andy,

0:22:520:22:53

-if we're honest with ourselves, is it?

-No, it's poor, it's poor.

0:22:530:22:56

Germanium, they commercially make it from the coal dust from

0:22:560:22:59

coal-fired power stations.

0:22:590:23:01

What do they then do with germanium, Richard?

0:23:010:23:03

You use it to grow geraniums.

0:23:030:23:04

LAUGHTER

0:23:040:23:05

-Lovely.

-It's lovely, you just mix it with the soil.

0:23:070:23:09

-Beautiful.

-Nice.

-Beautiful.

-Lovely.

0:23:090:23:11

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

0:23:110:23:13

Now, Will. Oh, Will.

0:23:130:23:16

I'm so sorry. How did I know they were going to be so brilliant?

0:23:160:23:19

I'm sorry. There you are on eight.

0:23:200:23:22

Nothing wrong with eight, it's a fabulous score.

0:23:220:23:24

It just happens to be the high score.

0:23:240:23:26

-And you haven't even given an answer yet.

-Right.

0:23:260:23:29

So we're looking for a pointless answer, Will.

0:23:290:23:31

I'll try flerovium.

0:23:330:23:35

Flerovium.

0:23:360:23:38

Let us see what happens when we say flerovium.

0:23:380:23:40

There's no red line for you, I'm afraid, Will,

0:23:400:23:41

because you're the high-scorers.

0:23:410:23:43

It's right.

0:23:460:23:47

It's going to be a lovely low score. Down it goes.

0:23:510:23:53

Oh, it's a pointless answer, Will!

0:23:530:23:55

It's another pointless answer,

0:23:550:23:57

it adds another £250 to today's jackpot,

0:23:570:24:00

takes the total up to...

0:24:000:24:02

Scores you nothing, leaves your total at eight, Will.

0:24:040:24:07

Well, what a round.

0:24:070:24:08

We had a round recently where seven got knocked out.

0:24:080:24:10

Eight getting knocked out is really unlucky.

0:24:100:24:12

It's unbelievable that Polly comes here with einsteinium,

0:24:120:24:15

which in old-school Pointless is a brilliant answer.

0:24:150:24:17

-I mean, it's a great answer.

-My other answer was going to be indium.

0:24:170:24:20

Now, indium would have scored you one point.

0:24:200:24:22

Oh!

0:24:220:24:24

What a round. Terrific stuff.

0:24:240:24:25

-There's more pointless answers.

-We'll go through some of them here.

0:24:250:24:29

Very familiar, some of those.

0:24:320:24:34

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

0:24:420:24:44

Shall we take a look at the top three answers?

0:24:440:24:46

-Let's do that.

-We haven't been anywhere close to them.

0:24:460:24:48

Let's take a look.

0:24:480:24:49

Always rising to the top, helium on 28.

0:24:520:24:56

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. At the end of our second round,

0:24:560:24:59

the pair we have to send home with their high score of eight...

0:24:590:25:01

And, Will, not only that, you leave us with a pointless answer.

0:25:010:25:04

-A legacy for...

-Exactly.

0:25:040:25:06

Greater love hath no man than this!

0:25:060:25:09

He gives £250 to the jackpot that he won't be here to play for.

0:25:090:25:14

It's been great having you. We'll see you again next time.

0:25:140:25:16

Will and Polly, thanks very much.

0:25:160:25:17

But for the remaining two pairs, it is now time for our head-to-head.

0:25:210:25:24

Congratulations, Trudy and Andy, Karan and Samarth,

0:25:290:25:32

you are one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

0:25:320:25:35

that jackpot, which currently stands at £1,750.

0:25:350:25:40

Well, we are here at the head-to-head round,

0:25:400:25:42

which means you are allowed to confer before you give your answers.

0:25:420:25:44

And the first pair to win two questions

0:25:440:25:46

will be playing for that jackpot.

0:25:460:25:48

This, I think, is going to be an absolute epic head-to-head.

0:25:480:25:52

Neither player has been here before.

0:25:520:25:54

Karan and Samarth, you are a returning pair,

0:25:540:25:56

but it was the end of Round Two we had to say goodbye to you last time.

0:25:560:25:59

Trudy and Andy just storming through each round as our low scorers.

0:25:590:26:02

In that first round, between you, all four of you together,

0:26:020:26:05

we had three points.

0:26:050:26:07

There we are. I mean, who knows what's going to happen?

0:26:080:26:10

But it's going to be hard-fought.

0:26:100:26:13

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:26:130:26:15

OK.

0:26:210:26:23

And our first question this afternoon is all about

0:26:230:26:25

players who have won the Fifa Ballon d'Or.

0:26:250:26:28

-Richard?

-Simply going to show you five pictures now of players

0:26:280:26:31

who have won the Ballon d'Or. You just have to tell us

0:26:310:26:33

-who the most obscure of these is, please.

-OK.

0:26:330:26:35

Let's reveal our five players.

0:26:350:26:36

Here they come. We've got...

0:26:360:26:39

There we are, five Ballon d'Or winners.

0:27:070:27:10

Trudy and Andy, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:27:100:27:13

OK.

0:27:150:27:16

THEY WHISPER

0:27:160:27:18

We're going to go for...

0:27:220:27:23

..C, Jean-Pierre Papin.

0:27:240:27:27

Jean-Pierre Papin, say Trudy and Andy.

0:27:270:27:30

Jean-Pierre Papin.

0:27:300:27:32

Karan and Samarth, do you want to

0:27:320:27:34

talk us through the rest of that board?

0:27:340:27:35

This is terrible, because I actually do watch a lot of football,

0:27:370:27:40

-to his annoyance...

-I do not watch any football.

0:27:400:27:42

-This is not my round.

-I mean, I know A.

0:27:420:27:44

That's Cristiano Ronaldo.

0:27:460:27:48

But I'm just going to have to hazard a guess here,

0:27:480:27:50

because I think they've gone for a pretty good one.

0:27:500:27:52

I'm going to go for Eusebio.

0:27:520:27:55

-For...?

-B.

0:27:550:27:56

For B. B, Eusebio.

0:27:560:27:58

So, Trudy and Andy have gone for Jean-Pierre Papin for C.

0:27:580:28:02

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people

0:28:020:28:05

said Jean-Pierre Papin.

0:28:050:28:07

It's right.

0:28:090:28:10

It's right and it's a good score.

0:28:140:28:16

Down it goes to two.

0:28:160:28:17

Very well done indeed to Trudy and Andy.

0:28:170:28:20

Unstoppable force there.

0:28:200:28:22

Karan and Samarth have gone for B and said Eusebio.

0:28:220:28:26

Let's see if that's right,

0:28:260:28:27

let's see how many of our 100 people said Eusebio.

0:28:270:28:30

It's right.

0:28:330:28:34

It is right, it's got to go all the way down to two.

0:28:350:28:38

16 for Eusebio.

0:28:390:28:41

Still a lovely low score.

0:28:410:28:42

But, Trudy and Andy, very well done. After one question, you're up 1-0.

0:28:440:28:47

Two very good answers there,

0:28:470:28:48

but Papin's a terrific answer, Andy, very well played.

0:28:480:28:50

Very good team, Andy and Trudy, aren't they?

0:28:500:28:53

It's the best answer on the board, it won't surprise you to hear.

0:28:530:28:55

Couldn't have beaten it. A is Cristiano Ronaldo.

0:28:550:28:57

Beaten comprehensively by George Best.

0:29:010:29:04

And the last one, this is the first-ever

0:29:080:29:10

winner of the Ballon d'Or,

0:29:100:29:11

also the first footballer to be knighted.

0:29:110:29:13

Well done if you got that at home.

0:29:170:29:19

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.

0:29:190:29:22

Karan and Samarth, you have to win this one

0:29:220:29:23

to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:29:230:29:25

Our second question today is all about...

0:29:250:29:28

-Richard?

-Yeah, about to show you five clues now to Fictional Islands.

0:29:290:29:33

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

0:29:330:29:36

Thanks very much indeed.

0:29:360:29:37

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

0:29:370:29:40

I'm going to read those all again.

0:29:580:30:00

Karan and Samarth, you will go first.

0:30:190:30:22

THEY WHISPER

0:30:220:30:24

Yeah, we've got one, I think.

0:30:320:30:34

-OK.

-Do the honours, please.

0:30:340:30:36

We're going to say the children's TV show set on Sodor

0:30:370:30:41

was Thomas The Tank Engine.

0:30:410:30:42

Thomas The Tank Engine, say Karan and Samarth.

0:30:420:30:45

Now then, Trudy and Andy, something tells me you were about to say that.

0:30:450:30:48

-Yes.

-Yes.

0:30:480:30:50

Yes, that is correct.

0:30:500:30:51

Would you like to talk us through the rest of the board?

0:30:510:30:53

OK, so, first one is...

0:30:530:30:57

..I'm pretty sure it's Father Ted.

0:30:570:30:59

-Tracy Island is...

-Thunderbirds.

0:30:590:31:03

Thunderbirds, yeah.

0:31:030:31:04

Lilliput.

0:31:040:31:06

-And the last one...

-Last one, I'm not sure.

0:31:070:31:10

No.

0:31:100:31:11

Let's go for Thunderbirds.

0:31:110:31:13

No, no, no.

0:31:130:31:14

OK, the islands, we will go for Lilliput.

0:31:140:31:17

Lilliput. OK, Lilliput.

0:31:170:31:19

So we have Thomas The Tank Engine and Lilliput.

0:31:190:31:22

Karan and Samarth said Thomas The Tank Engine for Sodor.

0:31:220:31:25

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

0:31:250:31:28

It is right.

0:31:310:31:32

25.

0:31:370:31:38

25 for Thomas The Tank Engine.

0:31:400:31:42

Trudy and Andy, meanwhile, have gone for Lilliput,

0:31:420:31:44

the first island Gulliver lands on in his travels.

0:31:440:31:47

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:31:470:31:49

It's right.

0:31:520:31:53

34 for Lilliput.

0:31:570:31:58

Well done. Karan and Samarth back in the game.

0:32:000:32:02

After two questions, it is 1-1.

0:32:020:32:04

Yeah. Let's fill these gaps in. You're right about Father Ted,

0:32:040:32:07

that would not have won you the points, though.

0:32:070:32:09

Would have scored just 39.

0:32:090:32:12

You are right about Thunderbirds as well.

0:32:120:32:14

That's the biggest scorer up there - 56 points for that.

0:32:140:32:17

And you are right, it is a great film, Shutter Island, it really is,

0:32:170:32:19

and it is directed by Martin Scorsese.

0:32:190:32:22

And it would have scored you nine points

0:32:220:32:23

and seen you through to the final.

0:32:230:32:25

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:32:250:32:26

So, it all comes down to this question.

0:32:260:32:28

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final and gets the chance

0:32:280:32:31

to win that jackpot that you've done so much to augment.

0:32:310:32:33

Best of luck to both pairs.

0:32:330:32:35

Our third question today is all about...

0:32:350:32:37

I'm going to show you the names now of the creators of five

0:32:400:32:43

British soap operas. We're also going to show

0:32:430:32:45

the first year they were shown and their initial.

0:32:450:32:47

Can you tell us what these soap operas are, please?

0:32:470:32:49

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:32:490:32:51

Let's reveal our five creators, and here they come.

0:32:510:32:53

I'll read those again.

0:33:100:33:12

So, Trudy and Andy will go first this time.

0:33:250:33:28

THEY WHISPER

0:33:280:33:30

We'll go for the second one down, Crossroads.

0:33:430:33:45

Crossroads, say Trudy and Andy for C.

0:33:450:33:48

Karan and Samarth, do you want to talk us through

0:33:480:33:50

-the rest of that board?

-Actually, I think I know them.

0:33:500:33:53

So the first one, we went for Coronation Street.

0:33:530:33:56

The third one is The Bill.

0:33:560:33:59

The fourth one, Emmerdale.

0:33:590:34:00

Last one, Hollyoaks.

0:34:000:34:02

And I am going to go for The Bill, Geoff McQueen.

0:34:020:34:04

OK, The Bill.

0:34:040:34:05

So we have Crossroads and we have The Bill.

0:34:050:34:08

Trudy and Andy have gone for Crossroads.

0:34:080:34:11

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:34:110:34:14

It's right.

0:34:170:34:18

Not bad, 22 for Crossroads.

0:34:220:34:24

Karan and Samarth have gone, meanwhile,

0:34:280:34:31

for The Bill for Geoff McQueen.

0:34:310:34:33

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:34:330:34:35

It's right.

0:34:390:34:40

Oh! Oh! Look at that.

0:34:440:34:46

Nine for The Bill.

0:34:460:34:48

What about that? Very well done indeed.

0:34:490:34:50

Karan and Samarth, after three questions,

0:34:500:34:52

you are through to the final, 2-1.

0:34:520:34:54

And those are the best two answers on the board as well,

0:34:540:34:56

so well played, everyone.

0:34:560:34:57

Terrific head-to-head. We knew it would be.

0:34:570:34:59

Tony Warren did indeed create Coronation Street.

0:34:590:35:01

Phil Redmond you knew at the bottom was Hollyoaks.

0:35:030:35:06

Julia Smith and Tony Holland, not Emmerdale but EastEnders.

0:35:080:35:11

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:35:140:35:16

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:160:35:19

it is Trudy and Andy.

0:35:190:35:20

Well, absolutely indomitable pair the whole way through the show.

0:35:200:35:24

I mean, low score after low score after low score.

0:35:240:35:27

Fantastic performance. We will see you again next time,

0:35:270:35:29

and I fancy you will be going all the way then,

0:35:290:35:31

but we shall see. Meantime, thank you so much, Trudy and Andy.

0:35:310:35:34

-Brilliant.

-Thank you.

0:35:340:35:35

But for Karan and Samarth, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:380:35:41

Congratulations, Karan and Samarth.

0:35:450:35:47

You have fought off all the competition

0:35:470:35:49

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:490:35:51

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:570:35:59

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,750.

0:35:590:36:03

Well, what a performance.

0:36:030:36:07

Superb. What would you like to see come up on this board?

0:36:070:36:09

Movies, books.

0:36:110:36:13

Anything. Maybe motorsport.

0:36:130:36:15

-It does come up.

-Motorsport would be nice.

0:36:150:36:17

-That would be good.

-But I'm not going to put any money on it.

0:36:170:36:19

OK, there we are. Well, listen, your choices today look like this.

0:36:190:36:24

Let's hope there's something you like the look of.

0:36:240:36:26

Oh...

0:36:350:36:36

Little Things is vague, it could...

0:36:390:36:41

-Let's go for Little Things.

-We will try Little Things.

0:36:410:36:43

You're going to go for Little Things.

0:36:430:36:45

-Richard?

-OK, very best of luck. Three very different questions here.

0:36:450:36:48

We're looking for any of the following, please.

0:36:480:36:50

We're looking for any cast member, according to IMDb,

0:36:500:36:52

of the 1994 film Little Women.

0:36:520:36:55

We are looking for any songs from the original 1998 film Little Voice.

0:36:550:37:00

We're looking for any of the authors

0:37:000:37:02

of any of the 80 Penguin Little Black Classics book collection

0:37:020:37:05

that came out in 2015.

0:37:050:37:07

So the cast of Little Women according to IMDb,

0:37:070:37:09

songs from Little Voice,

0:37:090:37:10

or any of those authors of the 80 Little Black Classics.

0:37:100:37:13

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:37:130:37:15

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with your answers.

0:37:150:37:18

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers

0:37:180:37:21

to be pointless. Are you ready?

0:37:210:37:23

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

0:37:230:37:26

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:37:260:37:28

The first two, we don't know.

0:37:280:37:29

-Do you know any Little Women?

-I do not.

0:37:290:37:31

OK. Little Voice?

0:37:310:37:33

I don't even know what that is. OK, the third one.

0:37:330:37:37

-Any of the books. So, Jack Kerouac.

-You reckon?

0:37:370:37:39

I'm just saying. JD Salinger.

0:37:390:37:41

You are just picking some authors that might be Classics, yeah?

0:37:410:37:44

-Fine.

-Kurt Vonnegut.

0:37:440:37:46

I think we should go for Kurt Vonnegut.

0:37:460:37:48

-Got any authors?

-All right, so Kurt Vonnegut, you reckon?

0:37:480:37:51

What is The Life And Times Of Aleksandr Dostovich,

0:37:510:37:55

-Todd Dostovich?

-Dostoyevsky is the author.

0:37:550:37:58

You're thinking of Ivan Denisovich, which was Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,

0:37:580:38:01

-but I'm not sure that will be on it.

-Can we go for that?

0:38:010:38:03

-Yeah, why not?

-Because you can say it and I can't.

0:38:030:38:06

-OK, so Kurt Vonnegut.

-LAUGHTER

0:38:060:38:08

Fine. You want to say Solzhenitsyn.

0:38:080:38:11

Philip K Dick? Science fiction isn't classic.

0:38:110:38:14

Classic, classic, classic.

0:38:140:38:15

There's some great science fiction out there.

0:38:150:38:17

-Ten seconds left.

-Should we...?

0:38:170:38:19

-I mean, pick one.

-We can say Vonnegut.

0:38:190:38:23

We can say, I don't know, um...

0:38:230:38:26

Well, we will say Philip K Dick.

0:38:260:38:28

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers,

0:38:280:38:30

and if you can say which category you are answering in,

0:38:300:38:32

that would be great.

0:38:320:38:33

OK, we're going for the Penguin Little Black Classics.

0:38:330:38:36

OK, you've got three authors - let's hear them.

0:38:360:38:38

-First one...

-So we think Kurt Vonnegut.

0:38:390:38:43

Kurt Vonnegut.

0:38:430:38:44

-We will say Solzhenitsyn.

-Solzhenitsyn.

0:38:440:38:47

And we will say... What was the other one?

0:38:470:38:49

-Philip K Dick.

-And Philip K Dick.

0:38:490:38:52

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:520:38:55

I think it is Kurt Vonnegut, actually.

0:38:550:38:57

Kurt Vonnegut goes last.

0:38:570:38:58

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably Philip K Dick.

0:38:580:39:01

Philip K Dick. And the one that is hard to pronounce in the middle.

0:39:010:39:04

-Just, go on, say it again, Karan.

-Solzhenitsyn.

0:39:040:39:07

OK. Here they are.

0:39:070:39:08

We have got...

0:39:080:39:09

OK, three good answers on the board.

0:39:160:39:18

Who knows? Who knows what's going to happen here?

0:39:180:39:21

But one of those might win you a jackpot of £1,750,

0:39:210:39:24

which would be nice.

0:39:240:39:25

What would you like to do with that, Karan?

0:39:250:39:27

I love going on holiday. So, you know,

0:39:270:39:29

it would probably fund a pretty decent holiday.

0:39:290:39:32

That would be nice. Samarth, how about you?

0:39:320:39:34

I would like to go to a good motor race.

0:39:340:39:37

Like, a big one. So maybe Le Mans or something.

0:39:370:39:40

Also, buy my parents a meal because I guess, without them, you know,

0:39:400:39:43

-we wouldn't be here, would we?

-Thank goodness one of you said that.

0:39:430:39:46

There we are. OK, your first answer was Solzhenitsyn.

0:39:460:39:49

Let us see if this is right.

0:39:500:39:51

In all three cases,

0:39:510:39:53

we were looking for any author featured in

0:39:530:39:55

the Penguin Little Black Classics book collection.

0:39:550:39:57

Solzhenitsyn is just the first of these wonderful authors

0:39:570:40:00

that you have put up on the board. Let's see - if it is pointless,

0:40:000:40:03

Solzhenitsyn will win you £1,750.

0:40:030:40:06

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Solzhenitsyn.

0:40:060:40:09

Not a bad answer,

0:40:150:40:16

but I'm afraid Solzhenitsyn is not a correct answer.

0:40:160:40:19

So we will move very swiftly on to your next answer,

0:40:190:40:22

which is Philip K Dick.

0:40:220:40:24

Again, we're looking for any author featured in

0:40:240:40:26

the Penguin Little Black Classics book collection.

0:40:260:40:29

Philip K Dick could win you £1,750.

0:40:290:40:31

First thing he has to be is correct, second thing is pointless.

0:40:310:40:34

Best of luck on both scores.

0:40:340:40:36

How many people said Philip K Dick?

0:40:360:40:37

Bad luck.

0:40:410:40:43

No Philip K Dick in that collection.

0:40:430:40:45

So we move on to your third and final answer, Kurt Vonnegut.

0:40:450:40:48

Now, Samarth, this, the minute the minute started,

0:40:480:40:51

you came out with Kurt Vonnegut.

0:40:510:40:53

You were absolutely sure that this was your path.

0:40:530:40:56

And you took it with great conviction, you put him last.

0:40:560:40:59

So let's find out, for £1,750,

0:40:590:41:01

if Kurt Vonnegut is a pointless answer.

0:41:010:41:04

Best of luck.

0:41:040:41:06

Oh, bad luck.

0:41:100:41:11

APPLAUSE

0:41:110:41:13

Listen, three great final answers on the board there

0:41:150:41:19

revealing good literary knowledge, you clearly have that.

0:41:190:41:21

But I am afraid you didn't find that all-important...

0:41:210:41:24

You didn't find that all-important CORRECT answer, is the truth,

0:41:240:41:26

but you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

0:41:260:41:29

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,750.

0:41:290:41:32

That rolls over onto the next show.

0:41:320:41:33

But it has been great fun having you here.

0:41:330:41:35

Thank you so much for coming to play.

0:41:350:41:37

And the crucial thing is you get to take home a Pointless trophy.

0:41:370:41:39

So very, very well done indeed, Karan and Samarth.

0:41:390:41:42

APPLAUSE

0:41:420:41:43

Terrific performance all the way through the show.

0:41:450:41:47

Those Penguin Little Black Classics, they are great.

0:41:470:41:49

They are 80 tiny little books,

0:41:490:41:50

little short things that you can read.

0:41:500:41:52

And during your minute, you mentioned Fyodor Dostoyevsky,

0:41:520:41:56

who is in that collection, and is a pointless answer.

0:41:560:41:59

AUDIENCE GROANS

0:41:590:42:01

Yeah, I am very sorry about that.

0:42:010:42:03

Let's take a look at the cast of Little Women.

0:42:030:42:05

Everyone was a pointless answer apart from Winona Ryder,

0:42:110:42:13

Susan Sarandon, Christian Bale, Claire Danes,

0:42:130:42:15

Eric Stoltz and Kirsten Dunst.

0:42:150:42:17

Songs from Little Voice. You could have had...

0:42:170:42:20

You also could have had Get Happy and That's Entertainment.

0:42:240:42:27

And for the Penguin Little Black Classics,

0:42:270:42:29

lots of pointless answers here.

0:42:290:42:30

You could have had Brothers Grimm, Edgar Allan Poe, Edith Wharton,

0:42:350:42:38

Flaubert, Henry James, Herman Melville,

0:42:380:42:39

Balzac, Conrad, Katherine Mansfield, Tolstoy.

0:42:390:42:43

You could have had Gogol, you could have had Sophocles as well.

0:42:430:42:45

Lots of pointless answers there,

0:42:450:42:47

very well done if you got one at home, and unlucky here today, guys.

0:42:470:42:49

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:42:490:42:51

And thanks very much, Karan and Samarth.

0:42:510:42:53

I'm sorry, you didn't win the jackpot today,

0:42:530:42:55

that rolls over onto the next show,

0:42:550:42:56

which means then we will be playing for £2,750.

0:42:560:42:59

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:43:020:43:04

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:040:43:07

And it is goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:070:43:09

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.