Episode 34 Pointless


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Episode 34

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

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and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

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the show where obvious answers mean nothing

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and obscure answers mean everything.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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And couple number one.

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Hello, I'm Ben, this is my friend Michael, and we're from London.

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Couple number two.

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Hello, I'm Trudy, this is my son Andy, and we're from Harrow.

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-Couple number three.

-Hello, I'm Sarah, this is my friend Mary,

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and we're from south Manchester.

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And finally couple number four.

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Hello, I'm Will, this is my lovely wife Polly,

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and we're from the village of Sutton Bonnington in Nottinghamshire.

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And these are today's contestants. APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much, all of you, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

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Lovely to have you here. We'll get a chance to chat to each of you

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throughout the show as it goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He's the perfect addition to any pub quiz team -

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if all you're missing is a mascot.

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It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hi, everybody.

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APPLAUSE

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-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

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This is like a game of Pointless All-Stars,

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this is going to be an absolute cracker.

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We've got two returning pairs coming back.

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Two of them have given us pointless answers on the previous show.

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Trudy and Andy got all the way through to the head-to-head.

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Very unlucky to get knocked out on the head-to-head as well.

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Really, really strong pair.

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And Will and Polly got knocked out in Round Two on eight points,

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on our round about chemical elements,

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and Will gave us a pointless answer in that round as well.

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So two very, very strong pairs I'm afraid, newcomers.

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But what if the newcomers are awesome as well?

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-I know.

-It's going to be extraordinary, isn't it?

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-I know.

-Samarth and Karan, who beat Trudy and Andy in that head-to-head,

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and a really, really good jackpot round, wasn't it?

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And they gave us exactly the sort of pointless answer we like,

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Fyodor Dostoevsky.

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Lovely, made everyone look classy,

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makes the show look classy when someone says Dostoevsky

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-and it's a pointless answer.

-And it was a pointless answer.

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It was a pointless answer - although they chose not to go with it.

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-TRUDY GASPS

-I know. Listen...

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Oh, Trudy, it's sad. Isn't it a shame?

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LAUGHTER

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-Shocking.

-It's a shame, isn't it?

-Real shame.

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But, no, great show last time, great show this time, nice jackpot,

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and two people here have contributed to that jackpot as well,

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-so let's get going, shall we?

-Let's do it.

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Thank you very much indeed. The point of this is that

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Karan and Samarth didn't win the jackpot last time

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so we start off with a jackpot that we're adding another £1,000 to

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from the previous jackpot. And it is a jackpot of £2,750.

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APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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Remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

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will be eliminated. That's it - the only rule you have to remember.

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Other than that, very best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon is...

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Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Richard.

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On each board we're going to show you seven names of

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literary villains or antiheroes,

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you just need to tell us what book they came from, please.

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We're also going to show you the author and initials of the book.

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Seven on the first board, seven on the second,

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14 in all to have a go at at home.

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-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

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So we are looking for the book from which

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these villains or antiheroes have stepped.

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And here is our first board of seven. We have got...

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I'll read those all again.

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-Ben, welcome.

-Thank you very much.

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Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here. What do you do, Ben?

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I work for a telecoms company looking after mobile apps.

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Right. How long have you done this for?

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About a year, just coming up to.

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Has your little department of the telecommunications company

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been going for long?

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-I'm starting it, so...

-It's your thing, I was going to say,

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cos quite often it sounds like quite a new thing.

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And presumably it'll only be there for a few years, then you'll be

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bought up by someone else, or you'll go off to something else.

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-Perhaps.

-A very exciting but constantly changing world.

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-Indeed, yeah.

-The world of apps. What sort of apps are you doing?

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So my team makes apps for our customers.

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So we have a few.

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I look after our main one and the business has a couple as well.

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That's exciting. Now, Ben, we want the names of these books.

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Which would you like to go for?

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I think I know a few of them, but I'm going to go with Mrs Coulter

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and I think that's Northern Lights.

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Northern Lights, says Ben.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Northern Lights.

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It's right.

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Good answer, Ben, look at that, down to 21.

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Very good indeed. Northern Lights, great start to the show.

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APPLAUSE

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Nice start, Ben, well played.

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Yeah, the first of the His Dark Materials trilogy.

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Indeed. Thank you very much, Richard.

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-Trudy, welcome back.

-Hello.

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Remind us what you like getting up to in Harrow, Trudy.

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I'm retired but I am a trained bereavement visitor

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and I am on the fundraising committee of that particular group

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and we organise quizzes and bridge lunches.

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How long do your bridge afternoons go on to?

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What time do people tend to finish?

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Well, we do it at lunch, so it's going to be from about 10.30.

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Coffee and biscuits, of course.

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Then we play, then we break for lunch.

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There's probably tea and biscuits as well, so I think about 4.30.

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OK, and is there a natural pause in the game at that point

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or do some people want to just keep on playing until the small hours?

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Well, those who are addicted, and there are plenty, can play 24/7.

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-Yeah, I bet.

-No, you mustn't do that.

-You mustn't do that.

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That's crazy. They wouldn't play... They'd play all week?

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-24/7? I doubt that.

-With just bridge rolls to keep them going as well.

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LAUGHTER

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Trudy, what would you like to go for on our board?

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I'm going to go for the second one down,

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American Psycho.

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American Psycho, says Trudy.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said American Psycho.

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Well, 21 is our only score at this point.

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15, very well done indeed.

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15, lovely score there.

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APPLAUSE

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Nothing like a silent first letter to throw people off the scent.

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Yes, the AP, absolutely.

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Trudy starting off as she left off last show as well,

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very well played, it's a good answer.

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He is driven mad by a bridge marathon.

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Finally sends him over the top.

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-Mary, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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Lovely to have you here from south Manchester.

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-Yes.

-What keeps you busy in south Manchester?

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I'm retired now, I'm a retired theatre sister.

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We've a grandson now,

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just one and a half so we've started to look after him a few days a week,

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-a couple of days a week.

-Very nice, what's his name?

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-Joseph.

-He might well be with you watching this in fact, Joseph.

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Hi, Joseph.

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Very good indeed. What do you like getting up to in your...?

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I enjoy reading, doing crosswords, going to the cinema, gardening

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but, erm, I'm also very active in our local church.

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Very good indeed. OK, now, Mary, what about all these books?

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How are you finding our list?

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The two that I'm definite of now I think are going to be high.

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And the one I'm not sure of, with the scores that there are,

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I think I might... I don't know what to do.

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Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.

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Mansfield Park, says Mary, for Jane Austen.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Mansfield Park.

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It's right. Well, 21 is the high score.

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15 the low at this point.

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21, there you are, you're joining Ben and Michael.

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Nice place to be, 21.

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APPLAUSE

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Well played, Mary.

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Henry Crawford, he's a wealthy cad.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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Now, Will, welcome back.

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-Thank you.

-Welcome back to Pointless.

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Here from Nottinghamshire.

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What keeps you busy in Nottinghamshire, Will?

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Well, I'm retired.

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What did you do before you retired?

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I worked in coal-fired power generation.

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Right you are. What do you like getting up to now?

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Like Trudy, Polly and I, we like to play bridge.

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I do a lot of gardening, walking the dog,

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and I'm a volunteer driver for our local community bus.

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Very good indeed.

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Have you been playing bridge in the green room before?

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No. We couldn't find...

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Sometimes you don't know who's going to get the call-up.

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Could have made up a four.

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I don't know if Andy plays, but...

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-I don't.

-LAUGHTER

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He said that a little bit too firmly I think, didn't he?

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-He doesn't sound very keen, does he?

-Not entirely.

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Surely there must be someone else, maybe from a future game

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you could bring in to build up a four.

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Anyway, Will, lovely to have you back.

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It was Round Two we said goodbye to you last time

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so we've got to be hoping we see you

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in the head-to-head and beyond today.

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Would you like to talk us through this board

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and do all the mopping up?

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My worry is the only ones I know I think are going to be high scorers.

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The top one is Animal Farm.

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And then we've got Treasure Island,

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and the bottom one, 1,001 Dalmatians. Erm...

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I'll go Animal Farm.

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OK, Animal Farm.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Animal Farm.

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Well, 21 is the high score at this point...

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64 comes up on the board.

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Tough to find yourself in that position, Will.

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-64 for Animal Farm.

-Well done, Will.

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It's a better answer than Treasure Island

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cos Treasure Island would have scored you more points.

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It would have scored you 81.

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It's definitely a better answer than 1,001 Dalmatians

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-cos that would've scored you 100.

-That's a lot of Dalmatians!

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But I can see with the initials why you went for it.

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-The 101...

-The 101 Dalmatians.

-Oh!

-Would have scored 47.

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That's the sort of thing that can knock you out so easily.

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-I don't know where the other 900 came from.

-Exactly.

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I'd tell you exactly where they came from but maybe not at tea-time.

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And the best answer on the board, the Samuel Richardson novel...

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-Is Clarissa.

-Clarissa.

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That would have scored three points, very well done if you said that.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard. We're halfway through the round,

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let's take a quick look at those scores.

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15, Trudy, once again the best answer posted on the podiums

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at this stage of the round.

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Then up to 21 where we find Ben and Michael, Mary and Sarah,

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quite a party going on at 21.

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Then up to 64, where we find Will and Polly.

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Now, Polly, you will have a lovely fresh, clean board.

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From it, make sure you find a nice low-scoring answer.

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Good luck. We're going to come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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Let's put seven more hints at book titles up on the board

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and here they are.

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I shall read those all again.

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Polly, welcome back to Pointless.

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Now then, last time,

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we discovered that one of the many jobs you have done was

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-a course in hen keeping.

-That's right.

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What else? What are these other jobs you've done?

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Well, I play the piano badly, I play bridge a bit better,

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but most of my time now is spent

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with breeding and training chocolate Labradors.

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Oh, I love chocolate Labradors. Mm!

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Now you're talking. I always say the answer to the question,

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what's your favourite dog is also the answer to the question,

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where would you most like to work?

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Chocolate lab.

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LAUGHTER

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Polly, now then. 64, you are the high scorers.

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Let's hope there's a nice low scoring answer on that board that you know.

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There's one I definitely know and might be low,

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and there's another, which after my last performance,

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I'm going to go for Hannibal Lecter and Red Dragon.

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Red Dragon.

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You're getting a firm nod from Sarah and Mary.

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And now Will! Slightly late to the party, but Will has joined.

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Red Dragon says Polly.

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No red line for you as you're the highest scorers.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Red Dragon for Hannibal Lecter.

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Now then, 15 is our low score.

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38 is what you get for Red Dragon.

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102 is your total.

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APPLAUSE

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Yeah, preceded Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal.

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-Made into a film called Manhunter.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

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-Now, Sarah, welcome.

-Hello.

-Welcome, also here from south Manchester.

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What do you do, Sarah?

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I'm a clinical scientist, I work in a hospital.

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-Right, as a clinical scientist in a hospital?

-That's right.

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Do you work in a different department, in a laboratory?

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You would think that, but I'm quite unusual in what I do.

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I coordinate an autologous blood transfusion service.

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I actually am in theatres, which is where I met Mary,

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-and I recycle patients' blood when they're having major surgery.

-I see.

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So the same blood that's come out of them gets processed

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-and then goes back in?

-Yeah, it goes through a machine

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-and goes back in again.

-See, that's clever. That's very clever, Sarah.

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And what do you like doing when not reprocessing blood?

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LAUGHTER Among other things!

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It takes a lot of my time cos I'm on call

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at least three or four nights a week.

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I have two teenage children, and so I'm a taxi driver.

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I'm sure anybody with teenage children will understand that one.

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And, yeah, I'm also a director of my own spin out company as well so...

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Very good indeed. So, busy is the answer to that.

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Now, Sarah, you're on 21. Lovely, low score from Mary

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in the first pass, which means 80 or less is your target.

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-OK.

-What would you like to go for?

-I know a few of them,

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it's just a case of working out which one may be the lowest score.

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-Yes.

-There's a couple there that I don't know. Oh, dear...

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I'll go for the Dickens,

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and go for The Old Curiosity Shop.

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The Old Curiosity Shop, says Sarah. Here's your red line.

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If you get below that with The Old Curiosity Shop,

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you are into Round Two. How many of our 100 people said it?

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It's right. And you're through, look at that.

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With plenty of room to spare. 24. Very good.

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45 is your total.

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APPLAUSE

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Well played, Sarah. Played by Toby Jones in the TV adaptation.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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Now, then, Andy.

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Welcome back to Pointless. Remind us of what you do, Andy.

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I'm in marketing. I do marketing for an insurance company.

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And when not marketing,

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you are keeping strict time at the back of a rock combo?

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-You're a drummer.

-That's right.

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How often do you play?

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-We normally rehearse once or twice a week.

-That's good.

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Yeah, and play, try and play live maybe once a month,

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once every couple of months.

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That's fun. How many of you in the band?

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-Four people.

-Four. The normal combo number, then?

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-Yeah.

-Excellent. Now, tell me this -

0:15:450:15:47

do you play with any kind of ear defence?

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-Yes.

-This is vital.

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I played the drums when I was little and now I can't hear anything.

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I mean, everyone now plays with ear defenders, don't they?

0:15:550:15:58

Yeah, you've got to. You've got to, really, it's pretty loud.

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-Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Terrible. Now, Andy...

-Yes.

0:16:010:16:03

Fabulous low score from Trudy in the first pass

0:16:030:16:06

-leaves you with a target of 86.

-Mm-hm.

-86?

0:16:060:16:10

That's almost free rein.

0:16:100:16:12

What would you like to go for?

0:16:120:16:14

OK, I think I'm going to go for Roald Dahl,

0:16:140:16:18

Agatha Trunchbull, Matilda.

0:16:180:16:20

Matilda, says Andy.

0:16:200:16:21

Matilda. Here is your red line.

0:16:210:16:22

If you get below this red line with Matilda, you're in Round Two.

0:16:220:16:25

It's right, and you're through. Well done. Trudy and Andy sail on.

0:16:280:16:32

62, gets your total up to 77.

0:16:320:16:36

Yeah, have you seen the musical in the West End of Matilda?

0:16:360:16:39

-Do you know, I'm ashamed to say I haven't.

-It's good.

0:16:390:16:41

-You should take the kids.

-Yeah, we must do.

0:16:410:16:43

-The kids have seen it.

-Oh, have they?

-I haven't, yeah.

0:16:430:16:46

-Oh, perfect.

-Oh, they've been.

0:16:460:16:48

Oh, they loved it. There we go, thank you very much, Richard.

0:16:480:16:50

-Now, Michael, welcome to Pointless.

-Hi!

-Good to have you here.

0:16:500:16:53

-What do you do, Michael?

-I'm an accountant for a media company.

0:16:530:16:56

And being media, do you mean sort of televisual media,

0:16:560:16:58

or is it sort of magazine publishing?

0:16:580:17:00

-Magazines, print...

-I see.

-..websites.

-That's interesting,

0:17:000:17:03

isn't it? Interesting kinds of figures you're dealing with.

0:17:030:17:05

-If you're going to be an accountant...

-Is what I'm thinking.

0:17:050:17:07

-Yeah.

-If you're going to be an accountant...

0:17:070:17:09

That's what I don't understand sometimes about people

0:17:090:17:12

with accountancy qualifications.

0:17:120:17:13

You can work anywhere, so I don't know why anyone chooses to be

0:17:130:17:16

-an accountant in somewhere boring.

-In an accountancy firm.

0:17:160:17:18

-Yeah.

-Why not work in an industry you like?

0:17:180:17:20

You could be an accountant for a chocolate biscuit factory.

0:17:200:17:23

-Yes, that's what I would do.

-You could. Yeah.

0:17:230:17:26

Oh, can you imagine?

0:17:260:17:28

Michael. Now on 21. There we are.

0:17:280:17:31

You have the same target as Sarah and Mary had, which is 80.

0:17:310:17:35

This board is all yours. Do you want to talk us through it?

0:17:350:17:38

The first one there is The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

0:17:380:17:40

Don't know the third one down. So I'm going to go for number four,

0:17:400:17:44

-The Da Vinci Code.

-And that's the answer you're going to go for?

0:17:440:17:47

Here is your red line.

0:17:470:17:48

Let's see how far down the column we get with The Da Vinci Code.

0:17:480:17:52

It's right. And you're through, well done.

0:17:540:17:56

There you are, nothing to worry about, 49...

0:17:580:18:00

..is your score. 70 is your total.

0:18:010:18:03

APPLAUSE

0:18:030:18:05

Yeah, safe and sound, you were right about

0:18:050:18:07

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe as well, up the top there, CS Lewis.

0:18:070:18:11

That would have scored you 69 points.

0:18:110:18:13

-Alex is...

-A Clockwork Orange.

-A Clockwork Orange.

0:18:130:18:16

That would have scored you 17.

0:18:160:18:17

This is the best answer on the board.

0:18:170:18:20

Now, it's a wonderful film.

0:18:200:18:22

Billy Wilder made a film of this, and the book is brilliant,

0:18:220:18:25

and it's an amazing story.

0:18:250:18:28

Double Indemnity. Double Indemnity, and it's a pointless answer as well,

0:18:280:18:32

so very well done if you said that.

0:18:320:18:33

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. We're at the end of our first round,

0:18:330:18:36

and we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs.

0:18:360:18:38

-Polly and Will!

-Oh, dear.

-Oh, I'm so sorry!

0:18:380:18:41

Far too soon to be sending you home,

0:18:410:18:43

but it's been lovely having you on both shows.

0:18:430:18:45

Thank you so much for playing, Polly and Will.

0:18:450:18:47

APPLAUSE

0:18:470:18:50

But for the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round Two.

0:18:510:18:54

Just in case you haven't noticed, we are now down to three pairs.

0:18:590:19:02

And at the end of this round, we'll be down to two pairs.

0:19:020:19:05

Trudy, unsurprisingly, the lowest individual scorer in that round.

0:19:050:19:08

Sarah and Mary, our lowest combined scorers,

0:19:080:19:11

so good teamwork over there on the far podium.

0:19:110:19:14

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:19:140:19:15

Our category for Round 2 this afternoon is...

0:19:150:19:18

Drink. Can you all decide in your pairs

0:19:190:19:23

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

0:19:230:19:25

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:19:250:19:28

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:19:300:19:33

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:19:330:19:38

..as they could.

0:19:400:19:42

Top exporters of beer, Richard?

0:19:420:19:44

Yeah, we're looking for any of the countries who are in the top 30

0:19:440:19:47

exporters of beer by value in 2015, please.

0:19:470:19:50

This is according to Trade Map

0:19:500:19:52

and their calculations based on the UN Comtrade statistics.

0:19:520:19:55

So any country that is in the top 30 exporters of beer by value,

0:19:550:19:59

other than the United Kingdom.

0:19:590:20:00

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

0:20:000:20:03

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

0:20:030:20:05

And, as always, by beer, we mean beer.

0:20:050:20:07

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:20:090:20:10

Now, Michael, what would you like to go for?

0:20:100:20:14

I'm going to go for the Netherlands.

0:20:140:20:15

The Netherlands.

0:20:150:20:17

The Netherlands, says Michael.

0:20:170:20:18

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the Netherlands.

0:20:180:20:21

It's right. It could be rather a good answer.

0:20:240:20:28

Look at that, down to 34. Not bad at all, Michael.

0:20:280:20:30

34 for the Netherlands.

0:20:300:20:32

APPLAUSE

0:20:320:20:35

Yeah, it's a good answer.

0:20:350:20:36

They're actually the second-largest exporter, the Netherlands.

0:20:360:20:39

2 billion US dollars' worth of beer they export.

0:20:390:20:42

There we are. Thank you, Richard.

0:20:420:20:44

So, Trudy.

0:20:440:20:46

OK, not really a beer drinker but I am going to say Belgium.

0:20:460:20:52

Belgium, says Judy. Belgium.

0:20:520:20:54

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Belgium.

0:20:540:20:56

Absolutely right.

0:20:580:20:59

34 is the only score we have at the moment.

0:20:590:21:02

41 for Belgium.

0:21:020:21:04

Yeah, 1.3 billion from Belgium.

0:21:090:21:11

In Bruges, where they brew an awful lot of beer,

0:21:110:21:13

it's got a very beautiful medieval centre.

0:21:130:21:15

They've got a beer pipeline which goes from the centre of Bruges

0:21:150:21:18

out to the outskirts so that lorries and so on don't have to

0:21:180:21:21

come into the centre of town.

0:21:210:21:23

So they literally just put the pipe into the lorry

0:21:230:21:25

and just stand there, whistling.

0:21:250:21:27

-Fill it full of beer.

-Fill it up with beer.

0:21:270:21:30

Just filling the tank up.

0:21:300:21:32

XANDER GROANS

0:21:320:21:33

Imagine that - a beer tunnel.

0:21:330:21:35

-Fun.

-That's quite cool, isn't it?

0:21:350:21:36

-Yeah.

-They should do rides.

0:21:360:21:39

-Shouldn't they?

-For adults.

-Flumes.

-You get a little dinghy...

0:21:390:21:42

-Beer flume.

-..along the beer tunnel.

0:21:420:21:45

And you're each given a little tankard.

0:21:450:21:46

Little beaker, you're wandering along.

0:21:460:21:49

Ah... And then you're in the middle of Bruges.

0:21:510:21:54

-Going against the flow.

-Yes, that would be...

0:21:540:21:56

Oh, yeah, that's harder.

0:21:560:21:58

So you've got someone punting at the back.

0:21:580:22:00

Mm. You know what I would take down there with me?

0:22:000:22:02

-What?

-A little slice of lime.

0:22:020:22:03

LAUGHTER

0:22:030:22:06

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:22:070:22:08

-Sarah?

-Right. Well, I do drink a lot of beer.

0:22:080:22:12

But I don't necessarily look on the bottle to see where it comes from.

0:22:120:22:15

-Yes.

-It's a bit of a problem. Erm, I know some definites,

0:22:150:22:20

-and I'm just wondering whether to try a risky one.

-Come on, Sarah.

0:22:200:22:23

30 countries.

0:22:230:22:24

I don't know. I think I'll play safe and go for Australia.

0:22:270:22:32

OK, Australia, says Sarah.

0:22:320:22:34

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Australia.

0:22:340:22:37

Well, they did seem to sell a lot when I was there three weeks ago.

0:22:420:22:45

I know, I was thinking that was an ingenious answer.

0:22:450:22:48

So ingenious, though, it was wrong for 100 points, I'm afraid, Sarah.

0:22:480:22:51

-Sorry about that.

-Yeah, I think a lot of what we think of as

0:22:510:22:54

Australian beer we actually make here. It's all made under licence.

0:22:540:22:57

So we think there's various very big brands which we believe to be

0:22:570:23:00

-Australian - it's a marketing thing, really.

-It's a ruse.

0:23:000:23:03

That's unlucky cos the adverts have lied to you.

0:23:030:23:07

-I fell for those as well!

-Such a mug.

-There we are.

0:23:070:23:09

Thank you very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

0:23:090:23:11

Let's take a look at those scores.

0:23:110:23:13

34 the best score of the pass, Michael. Very well done indeed.

0:23:130:23:15

Michael and Ben, top of the tree. 41 is where we find Trudy and Andy,

0:23:150:23:19

and then 100, Sarah and Mary.

0:23:190:23:21

Mary, a little bit of an onus on you therefore to come up with a nice,

0:23:210:23:24

low-scoring answer. We're going to come back down the line.

0:23:240:23:27

Can the second players step up to the podium?

0:23:270:23:29

So we're looking for the countries that export the most beer by value.

0:23:320:23:35

Mary.

0:23:350:23:36

Not Australia.

0:23:360:23:38

And maybe from that we can all learn a lesson.

0:23:380:23:42

I'm not a beer drinker. Erm, ooh...

0:23:420:23:46

Do you want me to go for an obvious one

0:23:470:23:49

that people might not think to say?

0:23:490:23:51

Which I'm going to go for, it's Ireland.

0:23:510:23:53

Ireland. Surely Ireland, says Mary.

0:23:540:23:57

No red line for you, Mary, as you're the high scorers.

0:23:570:23:59

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ireland.

0:23:590:24:02

It's right.

0:24:030:24:04

Well, 100 was our highest score, 34 our low,

0:24:060:24:08

you passed all of those... 25.

0:24:080:24:10

Not bad at all, Mary. Have you done enough, I wonder.

0:24:100:24:13

125 is your total.

0:24:130:24:14

Have you done enough to keep yourselves in the game?

0:24:140:24:16

Yeah, that's a great answer, Mary, very well played.

0:24:160:24:19

Lowest score so far.

0:24:190:24:20

Most famous, of course, for its stout.

0:24:200:24:23

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Andy...

0:24:230:24:25

Andy, you've had a little bit of time to think about this.

0:24:250:24:28

I have a feeling you...

0:24:280:24:29

I think you are going to go through the floor of

0:24:290:24:32

our 25 score at this point. I think you've got a brilliant answer.

0:24:320:24:37

OK, I'm going to go for Poland.

0:24:370:24:41

Poland. Poland. What about that? Poland.

0:24:410:24:44

That earned you a little appreciative hum from the audience.

0:24:440:24:47

Here is your red line, nice and high, you'll notice.

0:24:470:24:49

If you can get below that, you are through to the next round.

0:24:490:24:52

How many of our 100 people said Poland? Is it right?

0:24:520:24:55

It's right. You are through.

0:24:570:24:59

I said you were going to go below 25.

0:24:590:25:02

Oh, and you have! 21, look at that.

0:25:020:25:05

Very well done indeed, Andy.

0:25:050:25:06

Taking your total up to 62.

0:25:060:25:08

APPLAUSE

0:25:080:25:10

It's another very good answer, yeah.

0:25:100:25:11

In Poland, they do sort of a mulled beer.

0:25:110:25:13

They serve it hot with cinnamon and cloves

0:25:130:25:16

and honey in the winter months.

0:25:160:25:18

-Interesting, right?

-Quite filling.

0:25:190:25:22

-I think it is quite filling, yeah.

-Thank you, Richard.

0:25:220:25:24

Now, Ben. Ben, you are on 34.

0:25:240:25:28

90 or less is your target.

0:25:280:25:32

OK. So there are a few that sprang to mind that I think may be slightly

0:25:320:25:37

high scorers, but now I'm also worried that I've also been

0:25:370:25:40

mis-sold by advertising, and I'm going to say a country that

0:25:400:25:44

-doesn't actually produce the beer itself, so...

-Well.

0:25:440:25:48

So I'm going to go with Japan.

0:25:480:25:51

Japan. Let's find out. Is that right?

0:25:510:25:54

34 is your score at the moment.

0:25:540:25:57

There is your red line.

0:25:570:25:59

If it's correct, you're through.

0:25:590:26:01

If it's incorrect, Mary and Sarah stay with us,

0:26:010:26:03

and we'll say goodbye to you at the end of the round.

0:26:030:26:06

Let's see, Japan, how many of our 100 people said it?

0:26:060:26:08

It's right - and you're through.

0:26:100:26:13

You held your nerve there, Ben.

0:26:130:26:14

And there's your reward - 19, the lowest score of the round,

0:26:150:26:18

taking your total up to 53.

0:26:180:26:21

The lowest total of the round.

0:26:210:26:22

Yeah, it's very well played. Yeah, lots of Japanese brands of beer.

0:26:250:26:28

One of the Japanese labels, they produced a space beer

0:26:280:26:31

using space barley which had been grown

0:26:310:26:33

on the International Space Station.

0:26:330:26:36

Cost £12 a bottle,

0:26:360:26:38

which in Japan is probably cheaper than normal beer.

0:26:380:26:41

-Yeah.

-Now, what country do you think

0:26:410:26:43

exports the most beer by value in the world?

0:26:430:26:46

-Anyone?

-In the world...

-USA?

0:26:480:26:50

-Not USA, that would have scored you 59 points.

-Germany?

0:26:500:26:52

Not Germany, it would have scored you 76 points.

0:26:520:26:54

-Czech Republic?

-Not Czech Republic, that would have scored you 21.

0:26:540:26:57

-Mexico?

-It is Mexico.

0:26:570:27:00

Very well played, Mary.

0:27:000:27:01

Over 2.5 billion worth of exports from Mexico.

0:27:010:27:05

That would have scored you 17 points.

0:27:050:27:09

-Wow.

-So it would have been a very, very good answer.

0:27:090:27:12

Three pointless answers here.

0:27:120:27:14

Just the three, and they are...

0:27:140:27:17

Me either. South Korea, I think you can understand, maybe.

0:27:190:27:22

And Vietnam. Those were the three pointless answers.

0:27:220:27:26

You'd have got one point for Singapore, Namibia and Malaysia,

0:27:260:27:29

two points for Slovenia.

0:27:290:27:31

Four for Thailand, eight for South Africa, 11 for Russia, 13 Portugal,

0:27:310:27:35

14 Brazil, 15 Canada.

0:27:350:27:37

17 for China and Austria.

0:27:370:27:40

You'd have got 21 for Sweden, 24 for Italy,

0:27:400:27:43

and everything else we've heard apart from 35 for Spain,

0:27:430:27:46

37 for Denmark, and France, which would have scored you 46.

0:27:460:27:51

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our second round,

0:27:510:27:54

the pair we have to say goodbye to with their high score of 125,

0:27:540:27:57

Mary and Sarah, I'm so sorry.

0:27:570:27:59

It is you. Yes, that was a tough trap to fall into there, Sarah,

0:27:590:28:02

but I'm sure when you come back you'll do much, much better.

0:28:020:28:04

We will see you then and look forward to it very much.

0:28:040:28:06

Mary and Sarah, thank you.

0:28:060:28:08

APPLAUSE

0:28:080:28:10

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:28:110:28:15

APPLAUSE

0:28:150:28:17

Congratulations, Ben and Michael, Trudy and Andy,

0:28:190:28:22

you are now one step closer to the final

0:28:220:28:24

and a chance to play for that jackpot,

0:28:240:28:26

which currently stands at £2,750.

0:28:260:28:28

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:280:28:31

Well, here we are. We've reached that lovely plateau

0:28:310:28:34

that is the head-to-head round,

0:28:340:28:35

which means you're now allowed to start playing as a team.

0:28:350:28:38

You can confer before you give your answers,

0:28:380:28:39

and the first pair to win two questions

0:28:390:28:41

will be playing for that jackpot.

0:28:410:28:43

Now, Trudy and Andy, we were here last time -

0:28:430:28:45

only last time you were our golden couple.

0:28:450:28:47

You were our golden couple, our low-scoring pair.

0:28:470:28:49

You've been usurped from that position by Ben and Michael.

0:28:490:28:52

But actually you didn't win in the golden couple position,

0:28:520:28:55

so we know anything can happen in this round.

0:28:550:28:57

Ben and Michael, your first appearance here.

0:28:570:28:59

Very, very best of luck.

0:28:590:29:00

Let's see what happens, best of luck to both pairs.

0:29:000:29:03

Let's play the head-to-head.

0:29:030:29:04

APPLAUSE

0:29:040:29:06

Here is your first question.

0:29:090:29:11

And it concerns...

0:29:110:29:14

-Richard.

-We are going to show you five pictures now of different

0:29:140:29:17

ball sports, but can you tell us what the sports are, please?

0:29:170:29:20

OK, let's reveal our five pictures, and here they come.

0:29:200:29:22

We have got...

0:29:220:29:24

OK, there we are, five ball sports.

0:29:490:29:52

Ben and Michael, you are our golden couple, so you will go first.

0:29:520:29:55

THEY WHISPER

0:29:570:29:59

OK, I think we're going to go with A, and say dodge ball.

0:30:020:30:06

Dodge ball, say Ben and Michael.

0:30:060:30:09

Now, then. Trudy and Andy, do you want to talk us through that board?

0:30:090:30:13

So we think B is lacrosse.

0:30:130:30:17

C, Polo.

0:30:170:30:19

D is croquet.

0:30:190:30:21

I'm not sure about E.

0:30:210:30:23

-E could be badminton.

-No, but there's no bat in his hands.

0:30:230:30:26

-There's no bat.

-Badminton without a bat.

0:30:260:30:29

It's a new sport.

0:30:290:30:31

We're going to go with B for lacrosse.

0:30:310:30:34

B, lacrosse. So we have dodge ball and we have lacrosse.

0:30:340:30:37

Ben and Michael said dodge ball for A.

0:30:370:30:39

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:30:390:30:43

It's right.

0:30:450:30:47

Look at that, 11 for dodge ball, very well done indeed.

0:30:520:30:54

APPLAUSE

0:30:540:30:56

Meanwhile, Trudy and Andy have gone for B, lacrosse.

0:30:590:31:03

Let's see if that's right,

0:31:030:31:04

let's see how many of our 100 people said lacrosse.

0:31:040:31:06

It's right.

0:31:080:31:09

66. There we are. Quite a high score for lacrosse there.

0:31:110:31:14

Ben and Michael, very well done. After one question, you're up 1-0.

0:31:140:31:17

Well played. It's really risen in popularity, dodge ball.

0:31:170:31:20

Ever since the movie DodgeBall, which is a great film.

0:31:200:31:22

But loads of schools play it now. My son's school play it.

0:31:220:31:25

So it's a cool sport.

0:31:250:31:27

C, of course, is polo.

0:31:270:31:29

Big score for that, would have scored 93.

0:31:300:31:33

Croquet is also a big scorer.

0:31:330:31:34

Would have scored you 73.

0:31:360:31:37

Now, this last sport, really very, very popular in Nigeria,

0:31:370:31:40

-but do you know what it is?

-Fives.

0:31:400:31:41

Yeah, fives, or Eton fives, well played.

0:31:410:31:44

-Would have scored you two points.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

0:31:440:31:46

Now, we're at the end of our first question.

0:31:460:31:48

Trudy and Andy, this is the second question.

0:31:480:31:50

You have to win this one to stay in the game, so very best of luck.

0:31:500:31:53

Our second question today is all about...

0:31:530:31:56

-Richard?

-Yeah, we're going to show you the names of five parts of

0:31:570:32:00

the human circulatory system with alternate letters removed,

0:32:000:32:04

which you must not try at home.

0:32:040:32:05

LAUGHTER

0:32:050:32:07

Can you tell us what those parts of the system are, please?

0:32:070:32:10

Thank you very much indeed. Let's reveal our five parts of human

0:32:100:32:13

circulation with bits missing, and here they are.

0:32:130:32:16

I shall read those all again.

0:32:360:32:38

Trudy and Andy will go first.

0:32:530:32:55

We're going for the fourth one down, vena cava.

0:32:550:32:59

Vena cava, say Trudy and Andy.

0:32:590:33:02

Now, then, Ben and Michael, talk us through these circulatory systems.

0:33:020:33:06

So I think we know all of them.

0:33:060:33:08

The top one's lungs, the second one would be atriums.

0:33:080:33:13

Ventricle, and renal at the bottom.

0:33:130:33:17

I think we'll go with atriums.

0:33:170:33:19

You're going to go for atriums, Ben and Michael?

0:33:190:33:21

So Trudy and Andy gave us vena cava.

0:33:210:33:25

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:33:250:33:27

Vena cava, 36.

0:33:350:33:37

APPLAUSE

0:33:370:33:39

Ben and Michael, meanwhile, have given us atriums.

0:33:420:33:44

Atriums, the second one down there. Let's see if that's right,

0:33:440:33:48

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:33:480:33:50

Oh, wins you the point, down it goes.

0:33:570:33:59

Atriums, down to 16.

0:33:590:34:01

APPLAUSE

0:34:010:34:03

And very well done indeed, Ben and Michael.

0:34:060:34:08

It means, after only two questions,

0:34:080:34:09

you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

0:34:090:34:11

Very well played, gents. Very nice answer.

0:34:110:34:13

You actually would have won the point with ventricles as well.

0:34:130:34:16

It scored slightly fewer, it scores 35.

0:34:160:34:20

Right at the top, lungs is a big scorer,

0:34:200:34:23

that would have scored you 94.

0:34:230:34:24

And renal down the bottom there, another big scorer, 90 for that.

0:34:240:34:29

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:34:290:34:30

So the pair leaving us at the end of head-to-head round,

0:34:300:34:32

Trudy and Andy, I'm so sorry.

0:34:320:34:34

Second time we've had a majestic performance from you

0:34:340:34:36

right the way through the show,

0:34:360:34:38

and then at the head-to-head round we have to say goodbye.

0:34:380:34:40

I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to take that Pointless trophy home.

0:34:400:34:43

It would have been deserved if you had.

0:34:430:34:45

But it's been lovely having you on the show.

0:34:450:34:46

-Thank you so much.

-Lovely being here.

-..Trudy and Andy.

-Thank you.

0:34:460:34:50

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:500:34:52

But for Ben and Michael, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:520:34:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:550:34:57

Congratulations, Ben and Michael,

0:34:590:35:00

you've fought off all the competition

0:35:000:35:02

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:020:35:05

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:35:110:35:13

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,750.

0:35:130:35:17

There we are.

0:35:170:35:18

APPLAUSE

0:35:180:35:20

-Very well done. Very well done indeed.

-Thank you.

0:35:220:35:25

I mean, first round you were sort of in the middle of things there.

0:35:250:35:30

Second round, the beer round, suddenly shot to the fore there.

0:35:300:35:33

That seemed to keep you going right the way through the head-to-head,

0:35:330:35:37

which you won 2-0.

0:35:370:35:38

And here you are in the final on your first appearance on Pointless.

0:35:380:35:41

So very good indeed. I mean, on that kind of trajectory,

0:35:410:35:44

I think we would expect to see you carry off the jackpot, I think.

0:35:440:35:49

What would you like to see come up on this, on this last round?

0:35:490:35:53

Music could be amazing or terrible, so...

0:35:530:35:57

Sport would be pretty good, I think, between us.

0:35:570:35:59

OK. OK, well, very best of luck.

0:35:590:36:01

Let's see what today's selection of topics looks like.

0:36:010:36:04

We have got...

0:36:040:36:06

Yeah, I don't think I watch enough dramas.

0:36:160:36:19

-No, I don't at all.

-Other than... I can think of a couple.

0:36:190:36:22

Sporting Queens, not sure.

0:36:220:36:24

And '50s films is...

0:36:260:36:27

I think we are going to have to go with TFL train stations.

0:36:270:36:31

Sounds good. OK, TFL train stations. Richard.

0:36:310:36:33

Yeah, we are essentially looking for any London train stations.

0:36:330:36:37

Anything on the TFL map, London Underground, London Overground, DLR,

0:36:370:36:40

not tram links, but anything else on the TFL map

0:36:400:36:43

beginning with one of the following three letters, please.

0:36:430:36:46

So any station beginning with T,

0:36:460:36:49

any station beginning with F.

0:36:490:36:51

You may be able to guess the last one - any station beginning with L.

0:36:510:36:54

So any of those overground or underground stations

0:36:540:36:56

beginning with one of those three letters. Very best of luck.

0:36:560:36:59

Thank you very much indeed. As always, you've got up to one minute

0:36:590:37:02

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot

0:37:020:37:05

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

0:37:050:37:08

-Yeah.

-OK.

0:37:080:37:09

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:37:090:37:11

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:37:110:37:13

Theydon Bois at the end of the Central Line.

0:37:130:37:15

OK, that sounds like a good one.

0:37:150:37:16

-Limehouse on the DLR.

-Yeah, Limehouse.

0:37:160:37:19

Any other DLR ones you can think of?

0:37:190:37:21

Oh, I don't catch it.

0:37:210:37:22

I think... Is Turnham Green one?

0:37:240:37:27

-Yes, I think it is.

-Yeah.

0:37:270:37:29

-Turnpike Lane?

-Turnpike Lane, good one.

0:37:300:37:33

-Leyton, Leytonstone, they'll be high scorers.

-Yeah.

0:37:360:37:39

What about on the overground?

0:37:420:37:45

Yeah.

0:37:450:37:46

Those letters. Struggling.

0:37:480:37:50

-Finsbury Park.

-Finsbury Park!

0:37:530:37:56

-Yeah.

-Teddington?

0:37:560:37:58

-TFL.

-No, that's national.

0:37:590:38:02

Ten seconds left.

0:38:020:38:04

-So what are the three?

-Loughton on the Central Line?

0:38:050:38:08

Loughton, yeah? Shall we go with Loughton?

0:38:080:38:10

-Theydon Bois.

-Yeah. No, let's go with...

-Turnham Green.

-Yeah.

0:38:100:38:13

OK, that's your minute up. Let's have your three answers.

0:38:130:38:16

I think you're going to give them.

0:38:160:38:18

So for T we can go for Theydon Bois on the Central Line.

0:38:180:38:21

Theydon Bois.

0:38:210:38:24

And we're going to go for Loughton for L.

0:38:240:38:27

-Loughton.

-It's on the Central Line.

-And we're going for Turnham Green.

0:38:270:38:30

-Turnham Green.

-And Turnham Green.

0:38:300:38:32

Three good answers there. Of those three, which do you think

0:38:320:38:35

is probably your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:350:38:37

-Theydon Bois probably.

-Theydon Bois goes last.

0:38:370:38:39

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Turnham Green?

-Turnham Green, yeah.

0:38:390:38:42

Turnham Green, then Loughton in the middle.

0:38:420:38:44

OK, well, lets put those answers up on the board

0:38:440:38:47

in that order, then, and here they are.

0:38:470:38:48

We have got Turnham Green, we've got Loughton,

0:38:480:38:50

and we've got Theydon Bois.

0:38:500:38:52

Three good answers there.

0:38:520:38:54

Quite a nice jackpot to be taking home as well, £2,750.

0:38:540:38:58

What would you like to do with that, Ben, if you won?

0:38:580:39:00

I think some of it would go straight to my girlfriend

0:39:010:39:04

for a bit of a shopping spree.

0:39:040:39:07

I've been told that I had to say that.

0:39:070:39:09

-Erm, and...

-LAUGHTER

0:39:090:39:11

And then the rest, probably some stuff for around the kitchen.

0:39:110:39:13

-Need some new pans. Something exciting like that.

-Good.

0:39:130:39:16

-That could be part of the shopping spree.

-It could be.

0:39:160:39:18

Maybe the shopping spree could be in a kitchen shop.

0:39:180:39:20

-I didn't think of that.

-There you are. Michael?

0:39:200:39:22

I want to go to New Zealand next year on the Lions tour,

0:39:220:39:25

so that would kind of work pretty good, I think.

0:39:250:39:27

That could work very nicely indeed.

0:39:270:39:29

Well, as I say, very best of luck.

0:39:290:39:30

Let us see. I think those are three good answers.

0:39:300:39:33

Let's see what our 100 people think.

0:39:330:39:34

Turnham Green. In the case of all three answers,

0:39:340:39:37

we're looking for TFL stations in London.

0:39:370:39:39

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Turnham Green.

0:39:390:39:42

If it is pointless, it will win you £2,750.

0:39:420:39:45

Well, obviously, it's right, Turnham Green.

0:39:500:39:52

Down it goes. I think it will go a long way down, through the 20s,

0:39:520:39:56

Are we into the teens? Yes, we are, we are into single figures.

0:39:560:39:59

Down it goes. Still going down.

0:39:590:40:00

Turnham Green taking us down to one!

0:40:000:40:02

Oh-ho-ho!

0:40:020:40:04

APPLAUSE

0:40:040:40:06

One. One with your very first answer.

0:40:100:40:13

Very impressive indeed. Annoyingly, not a pointless answer.

0:40:130:40:16

So we turn to your next answer, which was Loughton.

0:40:160:40:20

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Loughton.

0:40:200:40:23

Could they name Loughton as a TFL station?

0:40:230:40:27

If it's pointless, it wins you £2,750.

0:40:270:40:29

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Loughton.

0:40:290:40:32

It's right. Turnham Green was right, took us all the way down to one.

0:40:350:40:38

Loughton now takes us down through the 40s.

0:40:380:40:40

Into the 30s, into the 20s. Into the teens.

0:40:400:40:42

Are we in single figures? Yes, we are.

0:40:420:40:44

Down we go. We're still going down with Loughton.

0:40:440:40:46

We're still going down to two!

0:40:460:40:48

Two for Loughton!

0:40:480:40:49

APPLAUSE

0:40:490:40:51

We're very much in the right territory here.

0:40:550:40:57

-One of these, surely.

-It's close.

0:40:570:40:59

Surely, one of these answers will win you that jackpot.

0:40:590:41:03

£2,750 riding on your third and final answer, which is Theydon Bois.

0:41:030:41:08

Let's find out, for £2,750, how many people said Theydon Bois.

0:41:080:41:11

Is it a pointless answer?

0:41:110:41:13

It's right.

0:41:170:41:18

Turnham Green took us down to one.

0:41:180:41:20

Loughton took us down to two.

0:41:200:41:22

Theydon Bois takes us down through the 20s.

0:41:220:41:24

We are into the teens.

0:41:240:41:25

We are into single figures, we're going down.

0:41:250:41:28

Still going down. Passing two...!

0:41:280:41:29

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:290:41:31

Very well done indeed.

0:41:410:41:42

Congratulations, Theydon Bois a pointless answer!

0:41:420:41:46

Which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,750.

0:41:460:41:51

Very well done indeed.

0:41:510:41:53

APPLAUSE

0:41:530:41:55

£2,750.

0:41:560:41:59

That will turn 'em green.

0:41:590:42:01

LAUGHTER

0:42:010:42:04

Very well played. Terrific stuff.

0:42:040:42:05

There's different pointless answers for different categories.

0:42:050:42:08

Let's take a look at them. We will start with T.

0:42:080:42:11

You don't need to tut if you've already won the money,

0:42:150:42:18

that's the good news.

0:42:180:42:19

The F, there's fewer than any of the others.

0:42:210:42:23

There's only two pointless answers here...

0:42:230:42:25

Fairlop, and Finchley Road & Frognal, which should count as two.

0:42:250:42:28

And finally onto L.

0:42:280:42:32

You could have had...

0:42:320:42:33

You could have had Langdon Park, Leyton Midland Road or Leyton High Road as well.

0:42:370:42:40

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

0:42:400:42:42

-and congratulations, gents, great win.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

0:42:420:42:46

And thanks once again to our winning players, Ben and Michael,

0:42:460:42:49

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750.

0:42:490:42:51

Very well done indeed. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:510:42:53

Join us next time when we'll be

0:42:530:42:55

putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

0:42:550:42:59

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:42:590:43:01

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:010:43:03

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.