Episode 35 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meets today's players.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Richard, I'm from Worthing in West Sussex

and this is my very good friend Leon, who's from Brighton,

and we've known each other about 13 years as friends.

-Couple number two.

-My name's Lesley, this is my friend Sarah,

and we both live in Crystal Palace.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm David, I'm from Flitwick,

and this is Anthea, she's from Doncaster, South Yorkshire,

and we are... Well, she is my fiancee.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Mary, and this is my friend Sarah,

and we're both from Manchester.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much all of you. A warm welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here. We'll chat to each of you throughout the

show as it goes along, so that just leaves one more person for me to

introduce - a man so smart he doesn't even lie on his CV.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

-Hello there.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Do you know? I'm so well.

Excellent. That's good news.

Only one returning pair from the last show and that's Sarah and Mary

on podium four, who were very good,

but Sarah's gone all posh.

-She's got letters after her name now.

-I know, I know.

-Sarah.

-Can you believe it? Sarah H.

There's a reason. There's a reason, It's fine. That's our fault.

Lovely show last time.

Ben and Michael were super bright, weren't they,

and had that lovely final question on underground stations,

which they smashed, and won £2,750.

-But this should be fun. Listen, it's a new dawn, it's a new day.

-It is.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day.

-It's a new life...

-Yes, it is.

-..for me, and I'm feeling good.

-LAUGHTER

Yeah, you are. Do you know what?

That's good cos I didn't get a chance to ask you how you were.

-You're feeling good? Phew.

-Feeling good.

-Thank goodness it came out!

-Yeah.

-There we are, good stuff.

So, Ben and Michael won the jackpot last time so we start off

with a lovely boutique jackpot of £1,000.

There it is. Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, just remember this, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

There we are, I've said it, that's all.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you a list of athletic disciplines

plus the initials of a Briton who broke a world record

in that discipline.

Can you tell us who they are, please?

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So, let's reveal our first board of athletics world record beaters,

and here they are.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

Leon, welcome here from Brighton.

-Yes.

-What do you do in Brighton, Leon?

I am a greengrocer/market worker.

-That's nice.

-It's all right, yeah.

-See, that is nice.

What time does your day start?

I get up around 4.30am

if my ten-month-old son allows me to get up that late.

They're very good alarm clocks, ten-month-old sons, aren't they?

They're all right at 2.00, 3.00, 4.00 in the morning.

Yeah. Very good. So, off you go, you buy all your veg.

do you have a stall or do you have a permanent shop?

We have a warehouse so everything comes in direct.

We get lots of things brought in from all the growers and producers.

-Very good.

-We then sort it out, put it in boxes,

-load it on to vans, take it everywhere.

-I see, right.

-So, you're not actually out there shouting, "Carrots"?

-I've done that.

I started off doing that in the shop and in the stalls.

I've done the "Three for a pound!" I've done all that.

-I was going to say, he's got a good voice.

-That is a good voice.

-Three for a pound!

-You need to get back out there, I think.

Yeah. Leon, what would you like to go for on our board?

There's a few I know.

There's a couple I might have a stab at,

but I'm going to play safe with men's javelin throw, 1992,

and say Steve Backley.

-Steve Backley, says Leon.

-Yes.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

That, I think, is a great answer, Leon.

Look at that, 29.

Very well done indeed. Great start to the show.

Yeah, over 90 metres, 91 and a bit metres, from Steve Backley.

-It looks very difficult...

-That's a long way.

-It is a really long way.

-Yes.

-I don't know whether you've ever thrown a javelin?

-No.

-It's really difficult.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Really hard.

Interesting. There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Lesley, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Here from Crystal Palace.

-Yes.

-What you do, Lesley?

-I'm an innovation consultant.

See, that sounds fun. What does that mean?

Well, we work with charities, so we basically do what we can

to help charities raise more money,

have more impact, do stuff better.

Do stuff better?

-Yes.

-Do you find it's a different piece of advice you give to every

charity or is it, by and large,

the same sort of thing that happens again and again?

You say, "Ah, this is where you can make yourselves more efficient"?

-A little bit of both.

-A little bit of both?

Everyone's a little bit different.

Very good. Very satisfying, though?

-Pleasing to see these charities turn around?

-Yeah.

Lesley, what do you like getting up to when you're not doing that?

I spend most of my spare time cycling.

-Ah.

-Yes.

-Very good. Very good indeed.

Now, Lesley, what would you like to do with this board?

I was going to go for Steve Backley.

Mm-hmm.

But I'm going to go for women's 400m hurdles and say Sally Gunnell.

Sally Gunnell, says Lesley.

Let's see how many of our 100 people remembered Sally Gunnell.

It's right. 29's our only score so far.

30 for Sally Gunnell.

Can't fault you on your grouping, look at that.

Yeah, she set that record at the '93 World Championships.

It was such a close race, not only did she not know

she'd set the world record,

she didn't even know she'd won when she crossed the line.

-She had no idea. She had to look at all the replays.

-Exciting.

She won and she got the world record.

-Wow.

-That's nice, isn't it?

Very impressive. Anthea, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here from Doncaster.

Doncaster, yes.

And what do you do, Anthea?

I work in a call centre, answering emergency calls.

Very good. What are your interests?

Well, I have two boys.

I have a seven-year-old and a two-year-old,

so I mostly spend my time playing with them.

Very, very nice indeed.

Now, Anthea, what would you like to go for on our board here?

Erm...

The only one I think I know, which is probably wrong, is decathlon.

Is it Daley Thompson?

You're going to go for... Daley Thompson, says Anthea.

Daley Thomson, let's see if that is right for decathlon.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Daley Thompson.

It's right.

It's right. 53 for Daley Thompson.

Not bad.

Yeah, also won the Olympic gold in 1980 and 1984.

Very hard title to defend, that.

Indeed, indeed. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Sarah H.

Sarah H, welcome back.

Great to have you with us again.

Remind us what you do.

I'm a clinical scientist,

and I work in a hospital in south Manchester.

Very good indeed. And your interests, Sarah?

My interests are...

I don't seem to have any since my children require me to

run them around the countryside to various sports matches.

So, you have any interests in quick cut-throughs,

rat-runs through south Manchester?

I quite like standing on the sideline of a rugby match

-and embarrassing my son by screaming at him.

-Very good.

Excellent. Now, Sarah, this all is your board.

If you want to talk us through all those unanswered ones

and fill in the blanks, that'd be brilliant.

I know two of the remaining answers.

The triple jump is Jonathan Edwards,

and the men's mile is Roger Bannister.

So...

And I haven't got a clue about the last one.

So, it's a case of which one's the lowest scoring.

So...

I'll go with Jonathan Edwards on the triple jump.

Jonathan Edwards, says Sarah.

I think Mary approves of that answer.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jonathan Edwards.

It's right.

Not bad. 44.

44 for Jonathan Edwards.

Yeah, at time of recording still holds that world record,

which is amazing.

He broke it twice on the same day.

First man ever to jump over 18 metres,

and then immediately followed it,

first man to jump 60 feet in the triple jump,

and, yeah, a record he still holds,

which is incredible these days.

Now, men's 10,000 metres,

he's the guy, very iconic look

with the droopy moustache

and the red socks,

it's David Bedford.

Bedford. That's right, yeah.

He would have scored 15 points.

You're quite right about

the men's mile, Roger Bannister.

That would have scored you 41.

And this is the best answer on the board,

very well done if you said this,

it's actually the first

women's 5,000 metres world record,

and it was Paula Fudge,

and she would have

scored you three points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

29 the best score of that pass.

Very well done indeed, Leon.

-Thank you.

-Leon and Richard looking very strong,

as, I'd say, are Lesley and Sarah S on 30.

Then up to 44 where we find Sarah H and Mary,

and then 53, Anthea and David.

So, yes, David, you're a little bit ahead.

We need a nice, low score from you on the next pass, so good luck.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more athletics world record holders up on the board

and here they are.

I shall read those all one last time.

-Mary, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Now, you have retired, you said last time.

-Yes.

What do you like doing with your retirement?

How are you filling that?

I like reading, and gardening, and crosswords,

and going out with my friends and to the cinema,

but I also have a little miniature schnauzer that I enjoy

walking on the river every morning.

-Oh, that's very nice.

-We live right by the Mersey,

-so I walk along the Mersey.

-Very nice indeed.

Now, what sort of crosswords do you like doing?

-Do you like the quick ones or...?

-The quick ones.

I'm useless at cryptic.

I see. Now, then, Mary, there you are on 44.

You're not the highest scorers but you're not the lowest either,

so don't go for anything too easy, is what I'm saying.

There's two with the same initial, and I know if I say one of them,

I'll get it the wrong way around,

cos I'm not quite sure which way is which.

So, I know another two,

the top one and the women's 5,000 metres.

It's which...

SHE EXHALES

I think I'll go with the top one cos that such an iconic name,

the 1985 one, so I'll go with Mary Peters, the women's pentathlon.

Lovely. Mary Peters, says Mary.

Now, there is your red line.

It's quite low, but let's see

how far down the column we get with Mary Peters.

It's right.

There we are. 27.

Not bad at all.

Our lowest score so far, in fact,

and that takes your total up to 71.

I think you've done enough there, Mary.

Yeah, Dame Mary Peters, of course,

broke the world record at the Munich Olympics.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-David, welcome.

-Hello.

It's great to have you here from Flitwick.

-What do you do, David?

-I'm a tattooist.

-That is...a tattoo artist?

-Yes.

-A skin artist?

-Yes.

And do you have your own parlour?

-Yes, I do.

-How long have you had your own parlour?

-Four years.

-That's exciting.

Is it just you in the parlour or do you have...?

No, I have other artists as well.

Very good. How long have you been doing tattooing?

About six years.

So, not that long. What were you doing before that?

I used to be a machine setter.

I used to work for various companies -

Japanese, Israelis.

Before that, British Army.

-I've done many things.

-OK.

But all the while you were doodling?

Yeah, at school, I was always drawing on the textbooks,

hence why I don't know the board very well.

All your doodles basically said "Mum".

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, sure.

-And an anchor.

Now, David, there you are. You're no longer the high scorers.

If you can score 17 or less, you are through to the next round.

What would you like to go for?

This is scary.

Erm...

I think I know the men's 800 metres but I've got to play it safe.

The only other one I really do know would be

the 1986 women's javelin throw.

I'd imagine it's a high score

but I'm going to have to go for it - Fatima Whitbread.

Fatima Whitbread, says David.

Here is your red line. If you can get below that

with Fatima Whitbread, you are through to the next round.

Let's see what happens. Fatima Whitbread.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 51 for Fatima Whitbread.

104 is your total.

Yeah, set that world record at the European Athletics Championships -

in the qualification rounds, she set it.

She went on to win the gold medal,

-but not with as long a throw as that.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now then, Sarah S, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello. Thank you.

Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Sarah?

I work for a mental health charity in south London.

-Very good indeed.

-Particularly people who have been

suffering from depression and anxiety.

I see. How long have you been involved with that?

-About three years.

-Very good.

Very important. Good work to be doing.

Sarah, what are interests outside of your charitable work?

Mainly cycling, hence that's why I know Lesley.

So, what, you just met in the cycle lanes, or you...?

Through a cycling club.

So, what sort of cycling to you do?

Do you cycle at weekends?

Do you cycle long distances, or...?

A mixture.

Some long distances, a bit of velodrome,

A bit of track cycling...

See, that's fun.

-Occasionally BMX.

-First time you went in a velodrome,

how long does it take to get used to it?

Maybe about 10-15 minutes, I guess.

-Yeah, you don't want to fall off on a velodrome, do you?

-No.

No. Yes, well, that's exciting.

Now, Sarah, there you are on 30.

If you can score 73 or less, you're through to the next round.

How are you finding our board?

Well, there's a couple there,

one I think I know, though I'm not absolutely sure.

There's one I'm certain of, which would be playing it safe.

So, I think I'm going to play it safe and I'm going for

the women's 5,000 metres,

and that's Zola Budd.

Zola Budd, says Sarah S.

There is your red line. If you get below that with Zola Budd,

you are through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Zola Budd.

It's right,

and you're through! Well done.

There we are. 41 for Zola Budd takes your total up to 71.

Well played, yeah. She broke the previous record by ten seconds,

-and she was running barefoot as well, of course.

-I know, barefoot!

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Richard, welcome to Pointless.

-Afternoon.

Good to have you here from Worthing.

-Indeed, yes.

-And you've just moved to Worthing, have you?

Recently. Yeah, I lived in Brighton for about 13 years,

which is how I met Leon.

We were introduced by a mutual friend.

And how's the Worthing move been?

It's a lot quieter than Brighton, you could say.

Is it quieter in a way that you're enjoying?

Yes, now that I'm reaching my middle years,

it's more suitable, I think...

-OK. More suitable?

-..to a gentleman of leisure.

You're not pining for the thud of Brighton, really?

No, not really. I do go back occasionally.

We occasionally go out and have a beer.

-But not so far apart at the end of the day.

-No.

What do you do, Richard?

I'm a layout sub-editor for a national newspaper.

So, you are working till what time every night?

My strange working hours are usually from about 3pm until 10.30pm.

Well, that's not too bad.

-No.

-Do you ever get called in when there's an emergency?

"Oh, we've got our second edition, It's going to have to have..."

Not really, no.

Our second edition goes about 15 minutes after the first one.

Oh, I see. OK. Fine. Phew.

There we are. Now, Richard, you are on 29.

You have to score 74 or less to remain with us.

-Yes.

-I think you can do that.

This board is all yours, if you want to talk us through it.

OK. Well, most of the ones I instantly knew have been taken.

Now, I have an inkling that I know the men's 800 metres,

so I'm going to say Sebastian Coe for the 800 metres.

-For the 800 metres, Sebastian Coe, says Richard.

-Yes.

Here is your red line. Nice and high.

Let's see if you can get below that with Sebastian Coe.

It's right, and you're through.

-Well done.

-Ooh.

-Nicely done.

There we are, 33.

33, taking your total up to 62.

Yeah, well done.

There's that slightly shaky thing of the two SCs there,

and we know who both of them are but which is which?

Seb Coe is absolutely right.

Ten people on that one said it was Steve Cram.

Too early for Steve Cram.

But the men's 1,500 metres in '85 was Steve Cram,

and would have scored you 19 points.

And 24 people said that one was Seb Coe,

so there you go.

Now, the men's 5,000 metres in '54 was Chris Chataway.

-Oh, yes!

-He beat Roger Bannister to Sports Personality of the Year

in that year. 15 points for that.

And the women's 1,500 metres in 1967 was Anne Smith.

Very well done if you said that cos it's a pointless answer.

Good work.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our first round and the pair we have to

say goodbye to with their high score of 104,

David and Anthea, it's you.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers there,

they were just slightly higher scores than everyone else's

but we will see you again next time.

-Thank you.

-We'll look forward to that very much. David and Anthea.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And, so, we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round we will be down to two pairs.

Leon and Richard our lowest-scoring pair in that round,

very well done to you.

Mary, our lowest-scoring individual.

Mary Peters, your answer there. Lovely.

Well, very, very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

LAUGHTER

OK, so it's Mr Men characters that come alphabetically

between Mr Clever and Mr Tall. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any of the 43 Mr Men books

written by Roger Hargreaves.

The first one he ever wrote was Mr Tickle,

and the last one ever was Mr Cheerful.

Any of the books he wrote whose names come between

Mr Clever and Mr Tall, please,

so none of the ones that were written after his era.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, then, Richard...

What would you like to go for?

I have a bit of a mental block.

I'm going to have to play it safe with the only one

I'm absolutely certain of, which is Mr Happy.

Mr Happy. Mr Happy.

The first one I thought of as well.

Let's see how many of our 100 people thought of Mr Happy.

It's right.

Oh, it's fine. Look, down it goes.

Mr Happy, 49. Brilliant.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, he lives in Happyland.

I'm not sure there is such a place.

Then where does Mr Happy live?

LAUGHTER Well, I don't know.

I don't think the UN would recognise Happyland.

Or maybe they have. I don't know.

Oh, no, it's not a sovereign state that's a member of the UN

in its own right, but it's more of a city state.

-I see.

-Yeah, it was formed after a very bitter civil war.

LAUGHTER Thank you very much, Richard.

Sarah, who would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for Mr Messy.

Mr...? Ooh, she knows her Mr Men.

Mr Messy, says Sarah.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Very much up there.

Mr Messy.

There we are, 18.

18 for Mr Messy.

It's a good answer, Sarah.

Mr Messy's my favourite, in terms of the drawing of him.

It's just some squiggles with eyes.

Lionel to his friends.

Yes, Lionel is his first name, yeah.

LAUGHTER AND GROANING Thank you very much.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Mary...

Mary...

Mr Messy was in my mind. Erm...

Not any more.

I think I'll go for Mr Jelly.

Mr Jelly. Mr Jelly, says Mary.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mr Jelly.

It's right.

Well, 49's the high score,

which we pass.

18 is our lowest score, which we pass.

Eight, Mary!

CHEERING

Mr Jelly scoring the lowest point of the pass.

Very well played, yeah. He's frightened of everything, Mr Jelly.

He lives in a wood miles from anyone because he's frightened.

That's his first error.

-That would be frightening as well, I think.

-Yeah, don't do that.

You know? He's only got one friend...

-Mr Ice Cream.

-LAUGHTER

He used to hang out with Mr Evaporated Milk.

When you're a kid, did you have...

Did you have jelly and evaporated milk?

-Yeah.

-That's a great pudding.

They should bring that back, I think.

Haven't seen evaporated milk for a long time.

It's amazing, that. What is it?

I don't know. Brown.

I guess it's evaporated milk.

-But it's amazing.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Eight, the best score of the pass.

Very well done, looking very strong at this juncture.

Then 18's where we find Sarah S and Lesley.

And then 49, Richard and Leon.

-Little bit ahead there.

-Not too good.

-Leon, a nice, low-scoring Mr Man is what we need from you.

-I'll try!

So, good luck with that.

We're going to back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, then, Sarah.

Time for me to mess it up again.

Sarah.

Mr Men characters that come between Mr Clever and Mr Tall,

alphabetically.

Well, that was a lovely score from Mary, set you up beautifully there.

If you can score 40, you won't even be a high scorer.

It's a long time since my children were that age.

I'm hoping this is right.

Is there a Mr Small?

Mr Small? Surely there's a Mr Small.

There is your red line.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mr Small.

It's right.

And it gets you straight through. Look at that.

Through you go, 18 for Mr Small.

APPLAUSE

Your total is 26, you are in the head-to-head.

Yeah, he's as big as a pin, Mr Small.

Though quite how big the pin is, I don't know

-but he can sit inside a thimble.

-Yeah.

He got a job in a sweet shop, didn't he, in that book?

-And he falls into the sweets.

-Mmm!

-Health and safety.

-You know what I always liked about those Roger

Hargreaves stories? The shoes.

Wonderful detail on the shoes.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah.

There are little mischievous characters that pop up.

Usually magicians.

Unbelievably beautifully drawn, and they're graphically very strong.

I worry about the structural integrity of the narrative

in some of them, if I'm honest.

-But they look amazing.

-They do.

Now, Lesley.

Lesley, there you are, you're on 18,

which means 30 or less keeps you in the game.

I've got two that are almost exactly the same,

but starting with different letters...

..if that makes sense, and I'm not sure which one's right.

So, I'm going to go for Mr Greedy.

Mr Greedy, says Lesley.

Here is your red line. If you can get below this red line

with Mr Greedy, you are into the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said Mr Greedy?

It's right.

Very well done.

Just! Look at that.

21, you got. Takes your total up to 39, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played, safely through.

-He's lost a lot of weight, since...

-I know!

-Have you seen him recently?

-I have.

I think he looks a little gaunt now.

It's funny. That flesh hangs off him a bit, doesn't it?

It does a little bit but, you know, there it is, it's... Good for him.

Yeah. Good for him.

-Did the London Marathon last year.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-I sponsored him.

-Yeah. It's amazing. Did you?

-Yeah, yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Leon.

-Yes.

-Yes, Leon, I'm afraid you are the high scorers.

-Even before you give your answer.

-OK.

What would you like to go for?

I've got a couple, I think.

I'm going to go for Mr Silly.

-Mr Silly?

-Yes.

Mr Silly, says Leon. No red line, you're the high scorers.

But let's see how far down the column we get with Mr Silly.

It's right.

Look at that! 12!

Second lowest score up of the round, taking your total up to 61.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, he lives in Nonsenseland, Mr Silly.

If you reread it, it's unbelievably similar to modern-day Shoreditch.

Because dogs wear hats.

You think, yeah, you'll see that.

He says he likes marmalade in his coffee.

You think, "Yeah, I'm almost certain there's a hipster kind of roastery

"somewhere where you have marmalade in your coffee."

It's incredibly prescient of today's...

-Nonsenseville.

-..hipster culture. There it is.

Let's take a look now.

There is a pointless answer out there on these books.

I'll tell you what the low scorers are first.

Five points for Mr Impossible, four points for Mr Mean,

three points for Mr Snow and Mr Noisy,

two points for Mr Rush and Mr Sneeze,

one point for Perfect, Slow, Quiet,

Muddle, Skinny, Nonsense and Grumble.

How is Mr Nonsense different to Mr Silly?

-Where is HE living?

-I don't know.

-One pointless answer, though.

And I know some people at home will have got it.

Very well done if you said Mr Mischief.

That is a pointless answer.

So, very well played.

Let's take a look at the top three scorers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

We've seen two of them already.

Mr Grumpy would have scored you 20, then the top two we know,

Mr Greedy and Mr Happy.

Thank you very much, Mr Richard.

There we go.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our second round and the pair we have to

send home with their high score of 61, I'm afraid, Leon and Richard,

it is you.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers,

just Mr Happy was the high scorer there.

-Yes, a bit obvious.

-I suppose a bit obvious, but anyway,

we'll see you next time. I'm sure you'll go much further.

But meantime, thank you very much indeed, Leon and Richard.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sarah and Mary, Sarah and Lesley,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our

jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

Well, here we are in the head-to-head.

That means you are now allowed to confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will play for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both players. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five pictures now of North American mammals,

hopefully cute ones. You have to tell us what they are, please.

We'll give you the first and last letters of their names too.

OK, let's reveal our mammals, and here they are.

We have got...

There we are, five North American mammals.

Sarah H and Mary, you're the low scorers, so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK, we'll go with B. We've both swum with one of these.

-It's a manatee.

-A manatee.

Manatee. Now then, Sarah and Lesley.

Do you want to talk us through that board?

Well, E is raccoon.

C, we weren't quite sure about.

D, we couldn't decide whether it was a striped skunk or

some other kind of skunk. So we're going to go for A, groundhog.

A, groundhog.

So, we have manatee and we have groundhog.

Manatee say Sarah H and Mary.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said manatee for B.

It's right.

48 for manatee.

APPLAUSE

There we are. 48 for manatee. Rather a higher score than I was expecting there.

Lesley and Sarah have said groundhog for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said groundhog.

It's right.

And it wins you the point. Look at that. Groundhog, 33.

There we are. Very well done, Sarah S and Lesley.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, also known as a woodchuck, a groundhog.

-Yeah, manatee scored more than I would have thought.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, there it is.

They say Christopher Columbus said he saw mermaids and it's believed

that what he saw were manatees.

That's not how I would hope a mermaid would look.

LAUGHTER

Well, he'd been at sea a long time, to be fair to him.

This is true, this is true.

Now, we'll leave C for a moment.

D, you're quite right, striped skunk.

And it would have scored you 18 points.

E is a raccoon.

It's a big scorer. Would have scored you 90.

And C, I think is really cute.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah.

-Imagine if that came in your house,

you'd be very happy. And it's very rare, actually.

It's a very rare North American carnivore and it's called a fisher.

It's a member of the weasel family and it's a pointless answer.

So very well done if you said it.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, here comes your second question.

Sarah S and Lesley, you get to answer it first, but Sarah H and Mary,

you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question is all about...

-Richard.

-Yep, five clues now to facts associated with the word "diamond".

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five clues. Here they come.

I'll read those all again.

Sarah S and Lesley will go first.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to have to go for David Bowie for the artist who had a UK

number one album with Diamond Dogs.

OK. David Bowie, say Sarah S and Lesley.

Now then, Sarah H and Mary, over to you.

-Talk us through the board.

-The top one's carbon.

Diamond Jubilee was a couple of years ago, wasn't it?

Anyway, we'll think about that.

Anne Diamond and Nick somebody?

-Nick...

-And it's Titanic, isn't it?

Titanic is the last one.

Yeah, it was a couple of years ago, the Diamond Jubilee.

'14, then?

-I think that will be popular as well, anyway. Go for...

-Carbon?

Yeah. We'll try for carbon.

OK, you're going to go for carbon.

OK, so we have David Bowie and we have carbon.

Sarah S and Lesley went for David Bowie for Diamond Dogs.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

Not bad at all, 30 for Diamond Dogs, David Bowie.

Now, Sarah H and Mary have gone for carbon for the top one, the most concentrated form of this element.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said carbon.

It's right.

60 for carbon.

Big score there.

But very well done, Sarah S and Lesley. After only two questions,

you are straight through to the final 2-0.

Yeah, very well played. Now,

either question two or question three would have won you the points

there if you'd had a guess at any of them.

If you had to guess the year?

-'14.

-About four years ago.

-2014...

-2011 or... No, 2012, it was the same as the Olympics, wasn't it, I think?

So, 2012. Yeah, well, you'd have won the point if you'd said 2012.

Cos it's exactly right and would have scored you 16 points.

Anne Diamond, you knew it was a Nick.

And it's Nick Owen.

His autobiography was called In The Time Of Nick.

Ah! Ah!

14 points for Nick Owen.

And the James Cameron film was Titanic, of course,

-and that would have scored you 39.

-BOTH: Oh.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid,

Sarah and Mary, it is you. It's been wonderful having you on the show.

And you've played so well right the way across it.

-Thank you.

-I'm sorry you didn't get to make it through to the final,

but as I say, it's been great having you here.

-Thanks so much.

-Thank you very much.

-Sarah and Mary.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Sarah S and Lesley, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sarah and Lesley.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, you've done it, in one visit.

Just one show, right the way through to the head-to-head -

which you won, by the way, 2-0.

And here you are, in the final. I mean, that usually is the...

This is the precursor to a jackpot win, I would say.

But who knows? What would you like to see come up on the board behind me?

-Cycling?

-Cycling, yeah.

Cycling. That would be good.

I wouldn't mind the movies of Gene Kelly.

-I like a musical.

-OK. OK.

-Musicals would be good.

-Cycling or musicals.

Sarah, anything else you want to throw in there?

Maybe some literature questions, sort of Victorian literature, maybe?

OK. Well, let's see what's on the board.

Very best of luck. Today's selection looks like this. We've got...

For a moment, I thought that said "most CAPED international rugby players",

but it isn't, it's most capped, obviously.

-Ooh.

-Crikey.

-Crikey.

-There are some of those we can...

-Well, definitely not boy bands.

-No.

Rugby players...

That would all be on me, and...

Cocktails? I drink them, but I don't really know them.

-Um...

-Got to be Poets.

-I think we're going to have to go for Poets, yeah.

Yes, I think it's going to have to be Poets.

-OK, Poets it is. Richard.

-OK, good luck.

In 1997, Ted Hughes and Seamus Heaney published The Schoolbag,

which was their kind of history of poetry in Britain and British verse.

And we're looking for any poet represented in that volume, please,

that fulfils any of the following three criteria.

Any poet...

..who had the first name John or Jonathan,

any poet in that anthology with the first name Robert, or any poet in

that anthology with the first name William.

They are the most popular three first names of anyone in that anthology.

So anyone in that anthology with the first names John, Jonathan,

Robert or William.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

BOTH: Yes. Very good indeed.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are. Your time starts now.

-John Donne?

-Yes, John Donne was...

-I was immediately thinking of.

-For some reason, I'm thinking Robert Frost.

But I don't know if he's a poet or an author.

William Shakespeare?

-Yes.

-Bit left-field.

Yeah, William Shakespeare, possibly a little bit too popular.

-Mm-hm! Think...

-Any more Johns?

Um...

Er...

Er...

-I can't think of any Roberts, apart...

-Any Williams?

Apart from the obvious?

-No.

-Oh, gads!

-Um...

-Well, apart from Wordsworth.

-Yeah.

-John Donne, John...

William Wordsworth, John Donne...

Is there a John Smith?

Possibly. Somewhere.

-Is there a John Smith?

-Um... Um...

-That's the only one I can think of, is John Donne.

-Yeah, I'm stuck on it.

-Yeah.

Ten seconds left.

William Shakespeare, er, William Wordsworth, and...

Robert... Bob?

OK, I'm afraid that's your time up. Let's now have your three answers.

-We're going to go for John Donne.

-John Donne.

William Wordsworth.

-William Wordsworth.

-Will we have a crack at Robert Frost?

Oh, yeah, Robert Frost.

Robert Frost. OK, of those three answers, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-John Donne, probably.

-John Donne we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Wordsworth?

-Wordsworth.

Wordsworth. Then Robert Frost, we'll throw in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then, and here they are. We've got...

Well, three answers on the board. Let us see how good those answers are.

But if one of those wins you that jackpot, what would you like to do with it?

Sarah, you first.

I would spend it on a titanium bike frame to add to my collection of

various cycling paraphernalia.

Very good indeed. Lesley?

Er...

I would probably do the same, or go to Berlin to watch a thing

called the six-day racing which is a track cycling event.

Very good indeed. Well, best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers wins you that jackpot. Your first answer was William Wordsworth.

In all three cases, we were looking for any poet featured in The Schoolbag anthology.

And, in this case, we were looking for ones with the first name William.

If it is pointless, William Wordsworth, it will win you £1,000.

How many of our 100 people said it?

It's right.

Let's just see how far down the column we get with William Wordsworth.

If it goes all the way down to zero, you leave with £1,000.

Down we go, through the 20s...

28 for William Wordsworth.

APPLAUSE

I think we'd all have been surprised if that had been a

pointless answer. Let's move quickly on to your next answer, Robert Frost.

Now, you weren't sure if Robert Frost was a poet.

-No, but...

-So we'll discover something at this juncture,

and we'll see, if he is a poet, how far down he gets on that column.

If he's pointless, he wins you £1,000, of course.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Robert Frost.

It's right.

Well, William Wordsworth took us all the way down to 28.

Robert Frost now takes us down through the 30s, through the 20s,

passing 28. Down through the teens...

Ooh! Not quite single figures.

11 for Robert Frost.

APPLAUSE

Good going.

Sadly, though, not a pointless answer,

so let's move on to your third and final answer, John Donne.

Now, you had no hesitation putting John Donne last as your most

likely answer to be pointless.

If he is pointless, he will win you £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said John Donne.

It's right.

So, 28 was what William Wordsworth scored.

11 was what Robert Frost scored.

John Donne takes us down through the 20s, into the teens.

Down we go, we're passing 11.

Down we go, single figures. Still going down...

Three for John Donne!

APPLAUSE

Very exciting indeed and immaculately ordered, may I say?

It came down beautifully. The tension rose for each one.

But you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so

I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That rolls over on to the next show, but well done.

Great performance, right across the show.

And you get a Pointless trophy each to take home in recognition of that.

So very well done. Sarah and Lesley.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Yeah, a valiant effort. Well played. And you put them in the right order too which we always like,

so thank you for that. Let's take a look at the pointless answers here in the different categories.

For John first, you could have had John Bunyan, John Davidson -

who went on to host Generation Game and Big Break.

LAUGHTER

Dryden was a pointless answer, John Webster.

All the Johns are pointless apart from John Keats, Sir John Betjeman,

Jonathan Swift, Milton, John Masefield,

John Donne, of course, and John Clare.

Every other John in that anthology was a pointless answer.

Let's go on to Robert.

Robert Hayden, Robert Lowell, Robert Penn Warren, the American.

Robert Southwell. Everyone there was pointless apart from Robert Burns,

Frost, Robert Browning, Robert Graves and Robert Southey.

Everyone else was a pointless answer.

And William.

William Allingham, WB Yeats, a pointless answer.

William Cowper, William Stafford.

All the Williams pointless apart from Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Blake and McGonagall.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, Sarah and Lesley, it's been lovely having you here.

Sadly though, they didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.