Episode 48 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome

to Pointless, the show where we are always striving to find the most

obscure answers. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Gary and this is my Pointless friend Duncan,

and we're both from Dunblane in Scotland where we are both church

ministers and also football team chaplains.

-Couple number two.

-Hello,

my name is Nick and I'm from Horsham in West Sussex and this is

my lovely daughter, Amy, from Worcester Park in Surrey.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Emma, this is my mum, Alison,

and we're from Milton Keynes.

Couple number four.

Hi, I'm Henry, this is my friend Dougie, we're both from Leeds.

These are today's contestants.

Thank you very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you all here. We'll get a chance to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Dapper as a rapper, taller than a baller, quicker than a vicar.

It needs more work, that one, I think. It's my Pointless friend,

-it's Richard.

-Hiya!

Hi, everybody. Hiya.

Good day to you.

-Good day.

-The last show, we've got to talk about,

one of the great Pointlesses of all time, I would say.

Nick and Amy were in it and there was four terrific pairs

in that last show, weren't there? All super-bright.

Tom and John got through to the final and walked away with £10,500.

-Mm!

-Two pointless answers.

Tom said if he won the jackpot,

he was going to spend some of it on a funeral plan for his dad, John.

John...didn't look perturbed, John looked quite happy about that.

John said he was getting so old, he was just going to blow his.

But a great show, a terrific show.

Nick and Amy, the only returning pair, got knocked out in Round Two,

so we welcome a new group,

we welcome a much more slimline jackpot.

There we are, thank you. So, yes,

that's a very longwinded way of saying, yes,

Tom and John did in fact win the jackpot last time.

I know, isn't it exciting, Nick?

Therefore today's jackpot starts off beautifully at £1,000.

Look at that! Ah!

It's sweet, isn't it?

-Cute.

-Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's it, that's all you have to remember.

Apart from all the stuff we're going to ask you, but we'll come to that.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second and whoever is going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard?

-Yes, on each board,

we'll show you the surnames of various bands as they were when

they had their first UK top ten single.

We just need you to tell us what the bands were, please.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second. 14 bands in all

to have a go at at home.

OK, can you recognise these bands by their surnames

and here is our first board of seven.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we are. Duncan, a warm welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you from Dunblane.

We heard, one of the things Gary mentioned in the intro

-was that you are a minister?

-Correct.

How long have you been a minister?

Um...35 years.

Goodness me! And what church are you a minister in?

It's an independent church

and it's called Dunblane Christian Fellowship.

Very good indeed. What are your interests?

I just love football. My son used to play football and as you heard,

I'm a sports chaplain for Stirling Albion.

Now that's exciting. Along with Gary?

-Yes.

-Same team, same club?

-No.

-No?

-Different.

Oh, do your clubs ever clash?

We might this season, we might this season,

-yes.

-Dear, oh dear.

Well, Duncan, anyway, let's not dwell on that too much.

Here we have all these bands only by surname.

How many of those do you think you know?

This is my best topic.

Not! I know two, I think,

but I'm going to have to go for the bottom one,

the Rolling Stones.

The Rolling Stones, says Duncan for the bottom one.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Rolling Stones.

-It is The Rolling Stones.

-Hey!

It does score 88!

There we are. It gets us off to a rollicking start there, Duncan.

88 for The Rolling Stones.

Yeah, Not Fade Away was their first UK top ten single,

previously a Buddy Holly track.

The first track played on Radio Caroline.

Not Fade Away by the Stones.

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

Nick, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-What a story of ups and downs it was last time.

Nick and Amy were our absolute champions in Round One.

The two lowest scores by quite a long way.

Then the two highest scores by quite a long way in the second round,

which was extraordinary. It was a words round.

I thought you were going to walk it.

Nick, remind us what you do.

I'm a management consultant.

A management consultant. And your interests, Nick, are?

I'm into spinning now.

Allotment. I have a very exciting allotment with lots of exciting

-vegetables in.

-What is the most exciting of the exciting vegetables?

Probably potatoes, because you do nothing except wait for them

-to grow.

-Then eat them, they're delicious!

-They are very good.

-Nothing better than a fresh spud.

How many different types of potato do you have?

Lots, but blight is a, well, a blight.

Isn't it, though? Isn't it?

Now, Nick, what would you like to go for on our board?

I think I know two or three of them.

I suppose after last time, I've got to take a risk,

so I'm pretty sure that Stefani and co

is No Doubt.

No Doubt, says Nick.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said No Doubt.

It is No Doubt.

There we are, 20.

Good going, Nick.

Yeah, their first UK top-ten single was a number one,

Don't Speak, which was written about the break-up of Stefani and Kanal's

relationship. But they were still happy to be in the band.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now then, Alison, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

Lovely to have you here from Milton Keynes.

-Yep.

-What do you do, Alison?

I work with older people in their homes,

supporting them to be independent.

Very good. How long have you done that for?

I've been working with older people since I was about 16 or 17,

but I've been doing this actual job for about three years.

OK, very good. Are you always with the same people all the time?

Different people. When they come out of hospital, we help them.

You get to build up nice relationships?

-Yes.

-That's good.

What are your interests, Alison?

Um, crafting. I'm always making something.

Crochet, knitting.

Dance, ballroom dancing.

Very good indeed. Now, Alison, what about these bands?

How confident are you of this board?

-Well, they've just taken my answer!

-That's annoying!

So, I think I'll have to go for the third one - Coyle, Harding, Roberts,

Tweedy and Walsh - Girls Aloud.

Girls Aloud, says Alison.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Girls Aloud.

There you go, 45.

Not bad. 45 for Girls Aloud.

Yeah, their first single, Sounds Of The Underground,

was Christmas number one, which was good going.

Tweedy there, of course, is Cheryl Cole.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Dougie.

-Yes.

-Good to have you, from Leeds?

-Yes.

-What do you do in Leeds, Dougie?

Actually, I'm a student in Birmingham at the moment,

but I'm originally from Leeds.

Oh, I see, and what stage are you at at Birmingham?

I'm in my final year doing philosophy.

Very good. Have you enjoyed it?

I've enjoyed most of it, yeah.

Most of it? Philosophical answer.

What are your interests, Dougie?

My interests are sport, mainly. I like watching football, I play

-cricket and some other sports as well.

-Very good.

-Mostly those two.

-Good stuff.

Now, Dougie, this board is all yours.

This is your time to shine.

Do you want to go through all these bands and fill in our names?

Well, the top one is The Who, but that's probably too obvious.

The only other one on there I think I will have a guess at from the name

Yorke, and I'll guess at that being Radiohead.

-And that's the answer you're going to go for?

-Yeah.

Radiohead for the Greenwood, Greenwood.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Radiohead.

It is Radiohead.

20.

Very good indeed.

Our joint low scorers there, Dougie, well done.

Yeah, well played, Dougie.

Well worked out, as well. You were right about The Who as well.

In fact, the most famous live album virtually of all time is The Who Live at Leeds,

which I think was at Leeds Uni, might have been Leeds Poly,

though, certainly one of the two.

But The Who would have been a bigger scorer,

that would have scored you 68.

Now, Hoffs might give you a clue to this next one down.

Susannah Hoffs, from The Bangles.

The Bangles is the answer there.

Best answer on the board, nine points.

And Cook, Jones, Rotten, Vicious...

-Sex Pistols.

-The Sex Pistols, yeah, and that would have scored you 58.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, halfway through the round, let's have a look at those scores.

20 is the lowest score and Dougie,

you scored 20 and Nick, you scored 20,

so very good. Dougie and Henry,

Nick and Amy all looking pretty strong at this point.

45 is where we find Alison and Emma...

Oh, Duncan and Gary, 88!

Gary, you have lots of time to look at the next board,

so find a nice low-scoring answer there and maybe it'll be enough

to keep you in the game. Good luck with that.

We'll come back down the line, now -

could the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more sets of surnames up on the board and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

That's a drum break, isn't it?

There we are, Henry, welcome to Pointless.

-It is good to have you here, from Leeds.

-Thank you.

Yeah, like Dougie, I'm also at university, I'm in Winchester.

I see, how is Winchester going?

Really, really good, actually, yeah.

-Is it a nice place, Winchester?

-Yes, wonderful place.

-What do you study?

-Ancient classical and medieval studies.

-You're also in your third year?

-Yeah.

Very good. Is this your last year there?

-Yeah.

-Do you know what you might do when you leave?

I've been thinking of applying to the civil service,

but that's kind of it, really.

OK. Maybe take a break, maybe have a year off.

-Yeah.

-That would be nice.

Now, Henry, you're on 20. 88 is our highest score here on podium one,

which gives you quite a nice margin.

67 or less keeps you in the game.

The only one I can have a guess at is the top one,

because they sound Scandinavian, so I'm going to guess ABBA.

ABBA, says Henry.

Let's see what happens, Gary and Duncan. You get below that red line

with ABBA, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said ABBA.

It's right.

68!

Is what you score.

Well, Gary and Duncan need a pointless answer to beat you

or to draw with you, I should say.

So, we'll see what happens.

You might have done enough, then.

Yeah, the ABBA Museum was one of the top three museums in Sweden,

-according to Trip Advisor.

-Goodness gracious me.

I'm guessing that is just, sort of, clothing?

-It's all sorts of things.

-Pianos.

-Interactive experiences.

-A couple of sequins.

-From a tour.

-They probably play ABBA music.

Wonderful. Thank you very much, Richard.

Emma, welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here. And what do you do?

I volunteer at a disability charity,

providing information and support

to people living in MK.

MK, I like that.

It's like NYC.

-NYC, MK.

-In many ways.

LAUGHTER

-So many ways.

-So good, they named it once.

In a roundabout kind of a way(!)

-Ooh!

-That's fun!

Oh, Lordy!

And what are your interests, Emma?

I do a lot of quizzing, which is kind of why I'm here.

And also,

watch a lot of pro wrestling and I've just got back into archery.

Wonderful. Emma, now, how are you liking this board?

The highest scorers are both on 88,

so ideally you'd score 42 or less.

I don't think that's going to be too much of a challenge for you.

Going from the first name and the date, I'll go Flowers, Keuning,

Stoermer, Vannucci as The Killers.

The Killers. The Killers, says Emma.

Now, here is your red line. If you get below that with The Killers,

you are through to the next round. How many people said The Killers?

Very well done indeed.

Down it goes to 12. That is a great answer.

Happens to be our lowest score of the round so far.

That takes your total up to 57.

Well played, Emma. Great band, great answer as well. I will reveal where

they got their name from at the end of this round as well.

Oh! Keep watching!

-That's exciting!

-Well...

-Good.

-It's not that exciting.

-Isn't it?

-No.

-Stop watching!

Watch the same way you would have done previously.

Keep watching as you were, without...

If you were about to switch off, still do,

-if you weren't, I would say, keep watching.

-OK.

-Amy.

-Hello!

Amy, welcome back.

-Remind us of what you do.

-So I work in HR for a global company.

A global company.

-Yes.

-That's... Hm!

-Sounds impressive!

-It does, what does it do in the globe?

On the globe. Around it.

Lots of very exciting brands that we sell,

so ice cream to washing powder to a savoury spread

that I won't mention the name of.

Wow!

I can't even talk about it without my mouth watering!

There we go. Anyway. Sorry!

Where was I? Where was I?

Bands. Are you happy with bands?

I think so, yeah. I was going to say The Killers.

But I think I know a few of the others,

so I'm just trying to work out which will be the lowest.

I will go for Knowles, Rowland, Luckett, Roberson.

-Destiny's Child.

-Destiny's Child, says Amy.

Here is your red line. Quite nice and high.

Get below that with Destiny's Child, you are into Round Two.

Good enough.

Better than good enough.

28, takes your total up to 48.

Which is our lowest total of the round.

Yes, very well played. Of course, Beyonce Knowles and Kelly Rowland

we all know, and then there's Letoya Luckett and Latavia Roberson.

Lovely names. There we are.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, then, Gary. Welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-And goodbye.

-And, well...!

LAUGHTER

I mean, you never know.

There may be a Pointless answer on that board.

-Yes.

-Anyway, Gary, you are a minister.

-Yes.

-And do you... So what football team are you a...?

It's the University of Stirling

football team, they play in the Scottish Lowland league.

I see. And how many matches do you go to?

I try and go to all the home games, and a few away ones.

-I was in...

-Is there a short prayer in the, in the changing room?

No, no. It doesn't work like that, no.

-Oh.

-If it did, we'd be in the Champions League, wouldn't we?

Yeah, yeah.

Nicely put. Now then, Gary, what would you like to go for?

Do you want to talk us through the board? There's a chance at least,

at least before we say goodbye, should that happen...

-A coincidence.

-It's a...!

It's a chance for you to dazzle us.

Yes, I will talk you through this board, of course I will. Yeah.

I don't know the top two ones at all, I knew The Killers.

Didn't know Destiny's Child at all.

The next one is Spandau Ballet,

I'm going to have to go for that,

the last one's that One Direction rubbish, so...

I would probably try and guess, but I just don't know.

Do a bit of guessing for fun, and then see which one...

No, but then I look stupid, don't I?

No, you won't.

You may.

I look stupid already, so, yeah...

No, it was 1983, I just can't remember who Gilbert,

Hook, Morris, Sumner are.

So I'll just have to go for Spandau Ballet.

Hadley, Keeble, Kemp, Kemp and Norman.

Hadley, Keeble, Kemp, Kemp, Norman.

OK, no red line for you as you are joint high-scorers at this stage.

Let's see how many people said Spandau Ballet.

54 for Spandau Ballet.

Takes your total up to 142.

That is One Direction, of course, the wonderful One Direction.

-Back in the days when Zayn was in the band.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, less than...

-45?

-45, yes.

That is surprisingly low.

Gilbert, Hook, Morrison, Sumner, that you were having trouble with.

Now this is where the Killers got their name from.

They got it from a fictional band in a video by this group.

-New Order.

-New Order.

-New Order, yeah.

-Absolutely right.

-And they...

-Really?

-Six points for that.

-I didn't know that.

-Yes.

They had a band in one of their videos, for Crystal,

-and they were called The Killers.

-Wow.

-And...

Barrett, Mason, Waters, Wright...

-Pink Floyd.

-Pink Floyd.

Would have scored you 22.

Thanks very much indeed. Well, at the end of our first round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to with their high score of 142, Gary and Duncan. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Now, Duncan, I have got to be honest,

you didn't set Gary up very well...

-Thanks for saying that!

-..with the 88.

The 88 was quite a platform for Gary to perform from...

-It was, yes.

-..in the second pass.

Never mind. We'll see you again next time, where I am quite certain

you'll do much better, but meantime,

thank you very much indeed, Gary and Duncan.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, here we are, in Round Two.

Oh, Amy and Nick, will you make it beyond Round Two?

That's the question this time.

Because once again, you are our low combined scorers.

Please can this pattern not emerge again?

But very well done. Emma.

Our lowest individual scorer in that round,

so very well done to you. And Henry and Dougie,

just great to have you here.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's

going to go second. Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is - here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Chemical elements

beginning with the letters of the word "atomic". Richard.

Yes, looking for any element on the periodic table

as of August 2016, please,

beginning with one of those letters.

Thank you, Richard.

Amy.

Um...

I'm going to go for...

Osmium. O-S-M-I-U-M.

You don't have to spell it! You're making...

..you're making a rod for your own back, there! Osmium.

-Osmium.

-Yeah.

She knows how to butter you up, doesn't she?

-Yeah.

-Osmium. Now, let's see how many of our 100 people said osmium.

It's right.

Look at that! Down to three.

Very well done indeed, Amy.

Osmium, a great answer.

Yes, you can tell it was named after me,

because it's exceptionally dense and very difficult to work with.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Alison. Now, then...

..what would you like to go for?

I'm going to go with this one,

because I think people forget it's a chemical element.

-Arsenic.

-Arsenic, says Alison.

Arsenic. Let's see how many of our 100 people

forgot it was a chemical element.

Ooh!

23. For arsenic.

Not bad.

Yeah, arsenic is of course famously used as a poison

-as much as anything.

-Yeah.

I don't know if people still use it as a poison.

Because Agatha Christie did.

She did. That was very much the peak arsenic time, I think.

Yeah. Peak arsenic.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Dougie.

Well, I watch a lot of darts and I know that

the metal used for darts is tungsten.

Tungsten.

So that is what Dougie is going to say.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for tungsten.

It's right. Well, 23 is our high score.

Three is our low.

Look at that. Down to eight for tungsten.

Not bad at all, Dougie.

Not bad.

Yes, its name comes from the Swedish words for "heavy stone".

The Swedish Tungsten Museum

is the fourth most popular museum in Sweden.

I'm guessing that is mainly just, sort of, costumes and stuff, isn't it?

No, there is a lot of heavy stone, a lot of darts.

-Couple of sequins.

-And some Abba music.

Pretty much.

And then, you know, herrings on Ryvita for the canteen.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Pleasure.

-We're halfway through the

round. Let's take a quick look at those scores. Three, the best score

of the pass. Amy and Nick, very well done indeed. Then up to eight

where we find Dougie and Henry. 23 now, Alison and Emma.

A little bit ahead there.

Emma, you looked quite pleased with this, I think,

when it came up. So I'm hoping you've got a nice low-scoring answer up your sleeve.

Good luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

Now, Henry, remember,

we're looking for any chemical element that begins with

one of these letters - A, T, O, M, I or C.

I am not a chemist.

Fortunately, I am a musician and I know Tom Lehrer's element song.

And, when I was doing chemistry, I managed to learn the first 40,

so I should be OK.

I am going to go with molybdenum.

Molybdenum. OK.

There's your red line, Henry.

If you can get below that with molybdenum,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Looking good, Henry. There we go.

Down to seven. Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to 15.

Well played. You learned the first 40 -

that's actually atomic number 42,

so your chemistry is very good, your maths is terrible.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, then, Emma.

-Yes.

-We need a low score here.

Yeah, I've got one I immediately thought of that I don't know if I'm going to go for,

cos I don't know if it's technically been added

to the periodic table yet.

Have you just discovered it?

Um, so I'll go for another one.

I'm going to go with Americium.

-Americium. Emma's quite good at this, I think.

-Mm.

Yeah. Americium.

Now, you're the high-scorers, so there's no red line for you,

but let's see how far down the column we get with Americium.

It's right.

Down to two!

Two for Americium takes your total up to 25.

Yes, very well played.

Of course, made famous by the song Is This The Way To Americium.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, then, Nick.

What would you like to go for?

Now, you have a target of 21.

21 or less is what we want.

Well, I'm hopeless at this, and Amy made me revise.

So I'm hoping this is right.

-Lanydium.

-Lanydium?

-Yeah, lanydium.

-Lanydium.

-Yeah.

Amy hasn't pulled a face yet.

Which I think she would have done if that was, if that was wrong.

Lanydium.

Lanydium.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that with lanydium, you are into the next round.

Let's see what happens when we say lanydium.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

Oh, Nick.

Oh...

Nick!

That scores 100 points!

Takes your total up to 103.

-I'm sorry.

-Amy,

I can't believe you had your dad revising chemical elements

and not revising the alphabet!

Oh, yes!

I wasn't even thinking about that!

And even if it was the right letter,

-I am afraid lanydium is not an element.

-It's not a thing.

-It's not a thing,

so I don't know what sort of list Amy's given you.

There's a few Pointless answers out there.

Let's take a look at some of them.

Actinium, which is also a yoghurt.

You had copernicium, meitnerium.

Fewer pointless answers than normal here, actually.

Tantalum, technetium, terbium...

And thulium.

Let's take a look at the top three scorers. The ones that most of our 100 people said.

Iron would have scored 38.

Carbon, 43.

And oxygen would have scored you 45.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we are at the end of our second round, and I'm so sorry,

Nick and Amy, it's happened again!

Oh, no!

Best scorers in the first round, worst scorers in the second.

Oh, it's been great having you here. I'm sorry. Far too brief,

far, far too brief. It's been great, though. Nick and Amy.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

But, for our remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Alison and Emma,

Dougie and Henry.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our

jackpot which currently stands at

£1,000.

But the big news is we're in the head-to-head. We've made it.

Ahh... We can relax a bit now,

because from here on in you can start playing as a team,

you can chat before you give your answers, and the first pair in this

round to win two questions goes through to the final and has a chance to play for the jackpot.

Well, you've seen off our only returning pair,

so well done for that.

We've had some really good answers from you, actually.

Some fantastic low scores.

So this, I think should be close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And it concerns...

-Richard.

-I will show you five pictures now of famous gymnasts,

but can you identify the most obscure of these?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five gymnasts,

and here they come.

We have got...

There, five famous gymnasts.

Alison and Emma, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-Max.

-WHISPERS:

-Yeah.

We're going to go D, Max Whitlock.

Max Whitlock for D.

OK, Max Whitlock.

Now, Dougie and Henry,

do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

Well, I know one on that board, and I think I know a second.

Or we know a second.

-Yeah, I think we...

-E is Beth Tweddle,

but we think that C is Nadia Comaneci

and that's what we'd like to go for.

-Yeah.

-Nadia Comaneci is what you are going to say for C.

So we have Max Whitlock and Nadia Comaneci.

Alison and Emma have gone for Max Whitlock for D.

Let's see if that is right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is Max Whitlock.

Look at that, 17. Very well done indeed.

Nicely done, Alison and Emma.

Dougie and Henry meanwhile have gone for Nadia Comaneci for C.

Let's see if that is right, let's see how many of our 100 people went for Nadia Comaneci.

It's right.

Now then, 17 is what you have to beat.

Ooh, 21!

Very well done indeed, Alison and Emma.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yes, two good answers there.

Of course Max Whitlock won two golds at Rio.

And talking about Rio, anyone who watches gymnastics will remember A,

who absolutely lit the place up,

four gold medals she won at the Rio Olympics.

Simone Biles, the American gymnast.

She would have scored 13 points.

So, a very good answer.

Pales into insignificance against the seven golds

that this gentleman won.

The Russian, Boris Shakhlin.

Very well done if you said that.

It's a Pointless answer.

And E is Beth Tweddle, but she's the biggest scorer

on the board with 32.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your second question.

Dougie and Henry, you need to win this one to stay in the game,

but you get to answer it first, so that gives you some advantage.

Good luck. Our second question today is all about...

-Richard.

-Yes, five clues now to religious festivals,

also going to give you the number of letters in each answer.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all again.

Dougie and Henry will go first.

THEY WHISPER

Um, well, we think that the fourth one is Yom Kippur.

OK, Yom Kippur, say Dougie and Henry.

Yom Kippur. Now, then, Alison and Emma, what would you like to go for?

Do you want to talk us through that board?

Yeah, I was going to go for Yom Kippur, which is slightly annoying.

And I should know the first month of the Islamic year,

but I have completely gone blank on that.

Hindu festival of lights is Diwali.

First day of Lent is Ash Wednesday.

And the four Sundays before Christmas is advent.

I think we're going to go for Ash Wednesday.

OK, Ash Wednesday, say Alison and Emma.

So, we have Yom Kippur and Ash Wednesday.

Dougie and Henry said Yom Kippur,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

24 for Yom Kippur.

Alison and Emma, meanwhile, have gone for Ash Wednesday.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

38 for Ash Wednesday!

Well done, Dougie and Henry, back in the game.

That's what we needed. After two questions, it is 1-1.

Yes, very good head-to-head, everybody.

The Hindu Festival Of Lights, you are right, is Diwali.

Would have scored you more points,

would have scored you 39.

The bottom one, the Christmas season, is of course Advent,

would have scored you 45.

And the first month of the year in the Islamic calendar is Muharram.

Muharram, and it was a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

OK, now here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Our third question is all about...

-Richard.

-Yes, this is the way to split up two very, very strong pairs!

We're going to show you five titles

of Shakespeare plays in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer?

-Good luck.

-Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come.

I'll read them again.

Alison and Emma will go first.

Right, go on.

Yes, I had a horrible sinking feeling where I didn't think we knew any of them!

But they all seem to have come filtering through,

so I think we're going to go for the top one.

-Measure For Measure.

-Measure For Measure, say Alison and Emma.

Now then, Dougie and Henry, can you talk us through that board?

No, we were also struggling.

-We were struggling, weren't we?

-We only know the second and third.

-Yeah.

-And we'll go with the second one.

-The Tempest.

-The Tempest.

So we have Measure For Measure, and we have The Tempest.

Well, in the order they were given,

Alison and Emma said Measure For Measure for the top one.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's good.

Down it goes. Look at that!

Down to three. Well done indeed, Alison and Emma.

Meanwhile, Dougie and Henry have gone for The Tempest,

let's see how many of our 100 people said The Tempest.

42 for the Tempest.

There we are.

We have our results, and Alison and Emma, very well done.

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, Measure For Measure, best answer on the board.

Nothing you could have done there, gents. Unlucky.

Batch Me, I think everyone knows is Macbeth.

That would have scored you 60.

Now, the bottom two, the two Js.

Our Joined Metal, that is a very famous play.

-Oh!

-Romeo and Juliet.

-Oh, no!

-I'm afraid so.

-Oh, no!

-Would have scored 32.

And Usual Ice Jars?

Um, hang on.

Hang on, hang on.

It's a guy who had a salad named after him.

Got him. Yeah. Yeah.

-Julius Caesar.

-Yeah, yeah.

And that would have scored 17.

Thank you very much indeed. Now we are at the end of our head-to-head

round, and Dougie and Henry, this is where we say goodbye to you.

But we'll see you again next time,

when I'm sure you'll do just as well, maybe even go one step further.

But in the meantime, thank you very much indeed, Dougie and Henry.

But, for Alison and Emma, it is now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Alison and Emma.

You have seen off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There we are. We're a very tight show.

Very tight indeed, today.

So you've done incredibly well, and yeah,

that was a hard-won head-to-head as well, I have to say.

It'd be nice to take that jackpot home, though.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

I'd like another Science round,

but you're probably not going to give us more of that.

-Film.

-Film.

That would probably be our safest bet.

-Yeah.

-Or pro wrestling!

-Well,

let's find out. The four options are going to appear on the board,

you just have to select one of those.

Today's options are...

Right.

My football and politics are kind of already a bust.

'40s cinema...

I'd be relying on you for '40s cinema.

Or we could take a shot at the music one.

Take a shot at the music one.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

OK, yeah, we'll go for British female solo artists.

OK, British female solo artists it is.

OK, very best of luck. We're looking for any track off the following three classic albums, please.

So any track on the original release of any of the

following, please. Any track from Kate Bush's The Kick Inside...

-That's you.

-Any track from Back To Black by Amy Winehouse.

Or any track from Dusty In Memphis by Dusty Springfield.

So any track from the original release of The Kick Inside, Back To Black,

or Dusty In Memphis.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, as always, you've got

up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win the jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Just about.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, yeah. Well, I want to get something right...

-Was Lionheart on that one?

-No, that was on Lionheart.

OK, that was a different album. Good to know.

Um... Oh, God.

Heavy Woman. This Heavy Woman.

Does it have a verse in it?

I don't know.

-Um...

-Oh...

-Count them both. Man With The Child In His Eyes?

-Man With The Child In His Eyes is on that, yeah.

Oh, God, what else was early? Um...

Um... Babooshka.

Um...

-I think it...

-I can't remember.

I've gone blank now.

INDISTINCT No,

-I don't know.

-Because that was one, wasn't it?

-I can't remember.

-OK.

-Um...

There's no point in going with Wuthering.

There's no point in going with...

-Ten seconds left.

-The Kick Inside, cos that's there.

It is literally the title of it!

So, shall we say This Heavy Woman?

-Or is it...

-I can't remember!

Come on. OK, that, I'm afraid, is your minute up.

Let's have your three answers, and if you can say which category your answer is in, that would be great.

Right. Yes, these will all be from The Kick Inside,

because that is really our scene.

We've gone blank today.

So we'll go with...

The Man With The Child In His Eyes.

The Man With The Child In His Eyes.

Babooshka?

-It's not so good, but, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Babooshka.

-Babooshka.

And...

-Yeah, go on. I can't remember what it's called.

-Heavy woman.

Heavy Woman.

-Yeah.

-OK. Now, of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

-None of them!

-Well, if it's right, Heavy Woman.

Heavy Woman we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably Babooshka.

-Babooshka.

OK. And The Man With The Child In His Eyes in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers on the board in that order then,

and here they are.

Very best of luck. Three good answers on the board.

If one of these turns out to be pointless and wins you that jackpot,

what would you like to do with it? Alison.

-I should just put it in the holiday fund.

-Very good. Very good.

-Where would you like that holiday to take you, when the fund is filled?

-Back to the Isle of Wight.

I go every year, I love it.

Fabulous. Emma?

Well, I probably need...

I need a new chair, really, and if I can get a powered wheelchair,

especially if I'm going on holiday to the Isle of Wight,

because it is 90% hill!

Very good! Very good indeed.

Well, best of luck, as I say, three good answers.

Your first answer was Babooshka. This is the one you thought was

probably least likely to be pointless, but let's find out

how many of our 100 people said it. In the case of all three answers,

we were looking for tracks from The Kick Inside by Kate Bush.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Babooshka for £1,000.

Is it pointless?

Oh, bad luck!

Babooshka, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer.

It is obviously not a pointless answer.

We move onto your next answer, The Man With The Child In His Eyes.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people named that as a track on

The Kick Inside. For £1,000, is it pointless?

It is right. Babooshka, your first answer, was incorrect,

but down we go with The Man With The Child In His Eyes.

Down through the 30s, into the 20s, into the teens.

We're still going down. The Man With The Child In His Eyes takes us down to five.

This is good. We have gone from 100 to five.

Can we keep, keep this progress up?

We'll be on minus 82 for the next one.

Fantastic, well, let's find out. Your third and final answer was Heavy Woman.

You were hoping this would be right.

Again, we're looking for tracks on The Kick Inside by Kate Bush.

If this is pointless, it wins you £1,000.

How many of our 100 people said Heavy Woman?

Oh, no!

Bad luck!

APPLAUSE

Well, of those three answers, we had one really good one.

Your middle answer was a great score of five.

But I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer. I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That rolls over to the next show.

It's been great having you here. Really strong performers right the

way across the show, and you take a very well deserved Pointless trophy

home each, so very well done indeed.

Alison and Emma.

Yeah, very well played. I think you know it,

it's Them Heavy People is the track,

it would've scored you one point anyway.

Aww! That's all right, then.

It would've been exciting, but frustrating.

So let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

We'll start with Kate Bush.

You also could have had Feel It, and Oh To Be In Love.

Those are the six pointless answers there.

Back To Black by Amy Winehouse.

I'm sure some people would get pointless answers here.

Also Addicted and Some Unholy War, pointless answers.

Now, Dusty.

Also Breakfast In Bed, I Don't Want To Hear It Any More,

In The Land Of Make-believe, and No Easy Way Down.

Well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

And thanks once again, Alison and Emma.

Very sadly they didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye

-from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.