Episode 53 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to

Pointless, the game where you are always aiming for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Natalie, from London, and this is my mum, Jan, from Cheshire.

Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Nick, this is my great friend Darren.

We both live in north London but I'm from Cardiff.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Kalmia and this is my dad, Nic, and we're from Bournemouth.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, Xander, my name's Teresa,

this is my friend Jennifer and we're both from Cambridge.

And these are today's contestants.

Thank you very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here.

We'll get a chance to chat a bit more throughout

the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Tis the season for cold hard reason,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody. Hiya.

-Hello.

-Hello. Three new pairs with us today.

-I know, I know.

-It's quite nice, lots of new friends for us to meet.

-Mm.

That's nice, isn't it? Very colourful on podium four.

-Aren't they?

-That's nice, that's what we like to see.

You're the furthest away,

so it's nice for us to be... You know, they're shining out.

-It does help, that, doesn't it?

-It does help.

And Nic and Kalmia are back with us. Now, they will be difficult to beat,

got through to the head-to-head last time.

-We had a lot of fun on the last show, didn't we?

-We did.

-It was a good one.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, James and Tony didn't win the jackpot last time,

which means we add another £1,000 to it.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000, there we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, just remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

You know that, just remember it. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-It's about time we did this, isn't it,

people with long names?

On each board we're going to show you seven clues to famous people

whose surnames have at least three syllables

-when you say them out loud.

-OK.

Some might have more, but I'll tell you one thing,

none of them are going to have less.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second,

-14 in all to have a go at at home.

-OK.

Well, we'd better get on with it.

So we are looking for the names of the people described by these clues.

Oh, and they're long. I hope the clues aren't, but the names are.

Here's our first board of clues and we have got...

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we go. Natalie, welcome to Pointless.

What do you do, Natalie?

I work for a children's charity in Stratford,

very sort of small children's charity,

and I also do some work at the Victoria and Albert Museum.

What do you do at the V&A?

I'm a gallery assistant

and I do some work with the educational workshops we do.

That's nice. How much time do you spend there?

Well, I just got a puppy, so I'm not working there that much

because I like to be local.

-It's not particularly puppy compatible, is it?

-It's not, no.

-Museums tend not to be...

-No.

-..one way or another.

But when the puppy is a little bit older...

-Yeah, I'll be going back there.

-Back to the V&A, very good.

Now, Natalie, what do you make of our board?

Erm, well, I put philosophers as one of my high categories

but I just can't think of that one, so I think I might have to

go for Holmes, which is going to be high, but Benedict Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumberbatch, says Natalie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Cumberbatch,

Benedict Cumberbatch.

It's right.

-48.

-Not too high.

It's the right side of 50. 48, not bad.

Rocking three syllables in his surname, also three syllables

in the first name for Benedict Cumberbatch. Six in all,

which actually is the same as you, but the distribution is different.

-Yeah, yeah.

-You're 4-2, he's 3-3.

But it's still 6. Still impressive.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Nick, welcome.

Good to have you here, Nick. What do you do?

I'm a failed actor now working as a media monitor.

Oh, he's got a good voice, though. Nothing failing about that.

Fabulous voice.

So, at what stage did you decide not to keep up with the acting?

-About 20 years ago really.

-Had you done a bit, though?

Did you go to drama college or...?

I got into drama college, I was there for six weeks.

And that was when the failure happened?

Yeah, that was the failure.

-You were disillusioned, you just thought, "Oh..."

-Yeah.

On the whole, do you feel that was a good decision to have made?

Mostly, yes.

Now, Nick, what would you like to go for?

I think I'll go for the Italian actress.

I haven't actually seen the film in question

but I'm thinking it must be Gina Lollobrigida.

Gina Lollobrigida, she certainly qualifies for the round!

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Gina Lollobrigida.

It is Gina Lollobrigida.

Look at that, down it goes.

Oh, 12!

Only 12 of our 100 people said Gina Lollobrigida.

Yeah, she had a career spanning over 50 years, Gina Lollobrigida.

Fine surname spanning nearly...

Yeah, she's got more syllables than you.

You know? Something to think about.

It certainly is. Nic, welcome back.

-Good to have you with us again.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Nic.

-I'm a university tutor.

And you tutor in...?

Academic skills, language, and tourism and hospitality management

for international students coming to the UK.

For international students?

What sort of things do you actually cover?

What sort of things do you teach them?

Basically, the academic skills of how to conform to academic

culture that we have in this country that they perhaps don't have

in the country they are coming from.

I see, is that a thing they continue across their studies

or is it just to introduce them at the beginning?

Yeah, some will have done it, but the majority won't have done it,

-so referencing and research and stuff like that.

-Very important.

Now, Nic, what would you like to go for on our board?

I'm going to have to take a risk,

as the other one is really going to be too high-scoring,

but my worry is on the first name of Mr Louboutin for number one.

I want to say Carl Louboutin.

OK, Carl Louboutin, says Nic. Carl Louboutin.

I can see from the slight twist of Kalmia's mouth she's not

-entirely comfortable with Carl.

-I know.

-Anyway, let's see.

Louboutin, is it Carl Louboutin?

I know what it is now.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid not Carl Louboutin.

100 points for you.

Yeah, sorry, Nic, Kalmia had that expression on her face like

the gentleman in his seat who keeps pressing the attendant button,

-just sort of...

-Yes!

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Teresa, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you from Cambridge.

And what keeps you busy in Cambridge, Teresa?

Well, I'm an executive assistant at a training consultancy

and it's actually Jennifer's business organisation.

What do you train people to do?

It's mainly ILM courses, there's...

I think Jennifer would be a better person to explain

what the training courses are, but...

-You said enough with ILM courses.

-Have you done an ILM course?

-Five of them.

-Did you?

-Five of them.

I did four, I found ILM five hard, I have to say.

-Really, you passed ILM five?

-I did up to level five.

We started the modules of six and then I just went, "No, no, no."

But anyway, listen, ILM, you're doing a grand job for the country.

-Thank you.

-Listen, it's going to be something unbelievably worthy

-and we're going to look like idiots now.

-I know. International...

I don't know, do you think it stands for international, the first bit?

-I think I is international.

-L...

I was thinking it might be leaf, I was wondering if it was

international leaf management and they essentially run a rake factory.

LAUGHTER

International leaf mould.

-Industrial leaf mould.

-Industrial leaf mould!

-They use it as mulch in industrial gardening.

-Yeah.

-There we go.

-That's it.

-There we go. That's an interesting job.

-Thank you!

-There we are. Teresa, this board is all yours.

Would you like to talk us through it?

Even with a clue from Nic, I recognise

the surname of the first one.

I don't know the second one, I did know the third

and the fifth, so I think I'm going to have to go for

Engelbert Humperdinck for the last one

because I just don't know the others.

Engelbert Humperdinck, says Teresa.

Let's see how many over 100 people agree with Teresa.

It's right.

Well, 100 is our high score and you pass that.

Our low score is 12.

40 is where you end up with Engelbert Humperdinck.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played.

Kalmia, can you tell your dad what Louboutin's first name was?

-Christian Louboutin.

-Christian.

-Oh, no, I wasn't even close.

LAUGHTER

It was Christian Louboutin, 13 points.

It would have been a very good answer.

The singer who had hits with Dirty, Beautiful, and Ain't No Other Man...

-Christina Aguilera.

-Christina Aguilera, 31.

The Canadian model...

-Linda Evangelista.

-Linda Evangelista. Eight points.

And the German philosopher...

Schopenhauer? I don't know...

-Yeah, Arthur Schopenhauer.

-Arthur Schopenhauer.

Yeah, would have scored you one point.

-Very well done if you said that.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Let's have a look at the scores. We're halfway through the round.

12, Nick, very well done, very well done indeed.

Good score there, Nick and Darren looking very strong.

Then 40 is where we find Teresa and Jennifer,

48 is where we find Natalie and Jan

and then, I'm afraid, Nic and Kalmia...

You slipped up on Christian.

I mean, of all the things to slip up on, Christian Louboutin, not bad,

but, yes, you're quite far ahead. Kalmia, it's in your hands.

-Good luck.

-No pressure.

We're going to come back down the line,

can the second pairs please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to have seven more clues up on the board

and here they are. People with long surnames.

I'll read those all again.

There we are, Jennifer, we made it to the end of the board read.

Welcome to Pointless, good to have you here. So...

SHE CHUCKLES

No, what do you do, Jennifer?

I'm a trainer and I'm a management consultant.

We do mainly courses for

the Institute of Leadership and Management,

so I do leadership and management courses for doctors.

-Knew it.

-And the leaf mould essentially goes where? That's...

LAUGHTER

-Right, Institute for Leadership and Management?

-Yes.

I mean, could there be a more important institute?

No, because anyone who essentially wants to lead in the leaf mulch

industry, essentially they have to go through you anyway.

-Absolutely, absolutely.

-It all goes through that.

There we are. ILM, we've got it now. We have got it.

-How many levels of ILM are there? There aren't any levels.

-Seven.

-Seven.

-Yes.

-That was quite good.

-I got up to five.

Four was all right.

Seven is at postgraduate level, so that's the highest level.

I mean, I have met some ILM people.

They were just telling stuff about seven, literally my head...

The leadership and management ideas that were just, it was just...

I met someone who worked for International Leaf Mulch,

met somebody who worked for Italian Leather Moccasins as well,

who'd been through the course.

He was level six and even then he was saying, "Goodness me,

"I don't think there's anything more I can do about leading

"in the Italian leather moccasin industry, but there must be, right?"

Through that golden door which the light is shining out of

with a seven written on it.

Yeah, if you want to get into it international lizard management,

you have to just get through it. You know, it is...

I think it's a rite of passage.

Iguana and lizard management, isn't it?

That's right, you're absolutely right.

Now, then, Jennifer, this is your board.

What would you like to go for?

If you can score 59 or less...

I know three,

but two I'm really worried about getting the names wrong,

so I'm going to go for the top one,

the Czech-born tennis player, and say Martina Natilova.

Nat...

OK, Martina Natilova.

Martina Natilova.

There's your red line.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with that

Martina Natilova.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Jennifer!

I said it wrong, I could tell when it came out.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 140.

The round is not yet over, though, so anything could happen.

-Thank goodness for that.

-There we are.

Listen, you used enough syllables but just not the right ones.

LAUGHTER

Thank you, Richard. Oh, Kalmia, what about that?

-A lifeline out of a clear blue sky there.

-I know.

That was the only one I know, so...

Oh! Oh, well, there you are, Jennifer and Teresa,

a lifeline out of a clear blue sky.

-Erm, Kalmia, remind us what you do.

-I'm a flight attendant.

-A flight attendant.

-Yes.

Do you change the jobs you do from flight to flight?

-Erm...

-Just to sort of mix it up a bit?

You do sort of work in different positions,

-but it's pretty much the same job, yeah.

-It's pretty much the same.

Erm, Kalmia, what are your interests apart from...? I imagine you must...

Your experience of the world at large must be, er, must be

-pretty good.

-Yes. Erm, I like travelling, obviously.

I like walking, going hiking as well, and cycling,

and photography in the summer.

-Very good indeed. Now, Kalmia.

-Yes.

-If you can score 39 or less, you remain with us.

-Yes.

OK, I'm going to go with the top one, thank you,

and I'm going to say Martina Navratilova.

Navratilova.

Now, here is your red line.

Will you get below that with Martina Navratilova, I wonder? Let's see...

You will, just - 35. APPLAUSE

Needed 39, got 35, 135 is your total.

That's very nicely played.

Also the most syllables we've had in any name so far - eight syllables.

-Three, five, she's got there.

-Yeah.

-Mar-ti-na Nav-ra-ti-lo-va.

-Ooh, yeah.

-Makes your six look a little silly.

I know, yeah. Yeah... LAUGHTER

My four looking awful.

At least it's divisible, though.

There you are. Er, thank you, Richard. Now, Darren, welcome.

-Great to have you here on Pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Darren?

I'm an editorial manager

at an international information services company.

-Very... International information services company?

-Mm. Oh, yes. Yes.

IISC - that's good.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah. So where are you based?

-Er, London.

-In London.

Do you travel around or do people come to you for their editorial?

Erm, I don't really travel around very much.

The most I go out is really into the streets

just to do vox pops and stuff like that.

So I don't get very far from the office, unfortunately.

I see, and what do you do with the vox pops once you've got them?

Erm, we just get people's thoughts on the major issues of the day,

and, erm, and then make them into videos which I produce, erm,

I script, and, erm, and we get them out on social media.

Very good indeed, that sounds very interesting.

Keeps you absolutely up-to-date on everything, I should think, yeah.

-That's right.

-Er, now, then, you're on 12,

fantastic low score from Nick in the first pass,

which means you're actually through to the next round,

even if you score 100, which I happen to know you won't.

Er, what would you like to go for, Darren?

Well, I think I know most of them, but, erm, although...

Despite my love of football, I'm not tempted to go for that one.

I think I'll go for the person who had a number one with

Mary's Boy Child in 1957,

who is Harry Belafonte.

Harry Belafonte, says Darren.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Harry Belafonte.

No red line for you as you're already through.

Very well done, 23.

Takes your total up to 35.

APPLAUSE

Well played. He's also very heavily involved in

the Civil Rights Movement.

He was one of Martin Luther King Jr's closest confidantes,

-Harry Belafonte.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Jan, welcome.

-Hi.

-Great to have you here, Jan. What do you do?

Erm, I used to be an HR manager but my husband,

who works for his own account,

persuaded me to join him in partnership,

so I do all his admin, accounts...

He does most of the work, so I work half the hours I used to.

-And what does his company do?

-Er, it's, er,

petrochemical industry. Erm, it's products that go into

cheese waxes, roofing, roads,

-all sorts of things, additives...

-A lot of leaf mulch?

-Yeah, all sorts of things associated with that, yeah.

-Yeah.

-So that's interesting.

-Yes.

-How big a company?

How many people work in the company?

Oh, it's only him and me, partnership, just the two of us.

Wow, that's really nice, very nice!

Yes, we work from home, so it's great.

Well, he works for other companies, but part-time,

-and works for his own account, so...

-Fascinating.

-Yeah, so...

All sorts of different spheres it must take you into.

-It's good fun, yeah.

-Great fun. Now, you're on 48.

The highest scorers are on 140, Jennifer and Teresa over there.

If you can score 91 or less, Jan, you're through.

I don't do football or rugby so don't know either of those.

I think the daughter is Isabel Rossellini,

but I'm not sure it's Isabella or Isabel.

Erm, the...

Conan The Barbarian's Arnie Schwarzenegger,

which again I can't pronounce.

But I think I'm going to go for Benjamin Zephaniah.

Benjamin Zephaniah, the Birmingham-born poet.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Benjamin Zephaniah.

Here is your red line...

It is Benjamin Zephaniah.

Look at that, Jan, with an 8.

Taking your total up to 56.

Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

Yeah, a lovely end to the round, that, very well played.

Seven syllables in all for Benjamin Zephaniah.

Erm, Arnold Schwarzenegger, down the bottom there,

played Conan The Barbarian.

He would have scored you 42.

The Polish football international is Robert Lewandowski.

Well done if you said that, would have scored 9 points.

Erm, yeah, Isabella Rossellini,

eight syllables for Isabella Rossellini, er, 11 points for that.

And the best answer on the board is Martin Castrogiovanni.

Very well done if you said that, it's a pointless answer.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 140...

I'm sorry, Jennifer and Teresa.

We will see you again next time,

we'll look forward to that very much.

-Meantime, thanks very much, Jennifer and Teresa.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

Well, look at that.

One of our pairs has disappeared, we are left with just three,

and at the end of this round another will disappear.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

JAN GROANS Aww!

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Stadia.

Yeah, we're looking for the name of any ground played in by any Premier

League football team up to the end of the 2015-2016 season, please.

So any stadia played in by any of those teams.

If it's been renamed, we will accept either answer,

but we'll only accept it once.

But if they've obviously played at different stadia,

the same team, that's two different answers.

Very good, thank you. Er, now, then, Natalie...

Natalie...

XANDER CHUCKLES Is it...?

-Yeah, football's not my category at all.

-How much...?

-Sort of making-up-names sort of category?

-I know two.

-Oh, this is fine!

-And I'm going to go for...

I'm not sure about one of them, so I'm going to go...

Cos we used to live near-ish to the Trafford Centre,

so I'm going to go for Old Trafford.

Old Trafford, says Natalie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Old Trafford.

It's right.

46.

Not bad. 46.

Yeah, played in by a team you may have heard of - Manchester United?

-Do you know this group? Do you know this team?

-No.

-Yeah, Manchester.

-No.

-United.

-OK.

Old Trafford.

I'll try and remember it.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Er, Darren...

Well, er, I do like football, erm,

and I think this is the current name of this stadium - I hope it is.

I think it's called the Vitality Stadium?

The Vitality Stadium, sounds delicious!

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Vitality Stadium.

It's right. Well, 46 is our only score so far, and you've passed it.

Oh, look at that, Darren.

Oh, look at that, down it goes to 1. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, that's the Bournemouth stadium, Darren.

Very well played, yeah, one point.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Kalmia...

-Mm.

-Mm, the Vitality Stadium.

Like Natalie, I don't do football.

Erm, I'm going to go a little along the south coast, though,

to our neighbours in Southampton, and I'm going to say St Mary's.

St Mary's, says Kalmia.

Gets you a nod from pretty much everyone.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for St Mary's.

It's right.

46 our highest score...

which you pass.

1 is our low score...

-..which you get quite close to.

-Wow!

3, not bad at all, St Mary's, very good.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, good answer, Kalmia, well played.

Southampton's ground since 2001.

Thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

1, the best score of the pass, Darren, very well done.

Darren and Nick looking very strong at this stage.

As, I must say, are Kalmia and Nic, because we then travel quite

a long way up to 46, up to Old Trafford, up there.

Er, quite a high score there, so, Jan, we need some ace football

ground knowledge here, so good luck with that when we get back to you.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Nic, remember,

we're looking for the name of any Premier League home ground.

I'd like to thank my daughter for taking the answer I'd lined up!

HE LAUGHS

I'll go safe with, erm, Goodison Park.

Goodison Park, says Nic. Well, you're on 3.

Ideally, you would score 42 or less, which looks like that.

Er, let's see how many of our 100 people said Goodison Park.

Well done, good enough.

10 for Goodison Park, takes your total up to 13.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, that's a nice answer, Nic, cos it's the first-ever major

football stadium built in England, Goodison Park, in 1892.

-Everton ground.

-Goodness! There we go. Now, Nick...

Nick, er, 46 is the highest score. 44 or less is your target.

Football a good subject for you?

Yeah, pretty good, yeah, I'm a big fan.

I'll go for Ewood Park.

Ewood Park, says Nick.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ewood Park.

Here's your red line. Get below that, the head-to-head awaits.

It's right.

Through you go. Very well done, Nick.

Oh, down to 3!

Lovely low-scoring round there you're having.

Er, takes your total up to 4.

Well played, Ewood Park, the home of Blackburn Rovers.

It was named after Edwood Park, and then the D fell off,

and it's been Ewood Park ever since.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, then, Jan.

Jan, I'm afraid you are our high scorers, I'm so sorry.

Even before you've given your answer,

which I happen to know is going to be brilliant.

I'm as good as Natalie at football.

-Then I happen to know it's going to be extra brilliant.

-Erm...

I'm just trying to think...

-It doesn't matter.

-Somewhere... Carrow Road.

Carrow Road, says Jan.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Carrow Road.

No red line for you, as you are the high scorers,

but let's see how far down we get with Carrow Road. Good answer.

Look at that, down to 3!

Very good indeed, takes your total up to 49.

Yes, a lovely final answer, well done.

Er, Norwich City have played there since 1935.

Erm, I will go through some of the low scorers,

I know people at home will have been shouting stuff out.

Er, three points for Roker Park, Ayresome Park,

Turf Moor and DW Stadium.

Two points for St Andrew's, Bramall Lane, the Valley, Pride Park,

Bloomfield Road, Boundary Park, Britannia Stadium, and KC Stadium.

One point, alongside the Vitality Stadium,

for City Ground, Burnden Park, Cardiff City Stadium, Molineaux,

Madejski Stadium, Hillsborough, Vicarage Road, Fratton Park,

er, the Dell, Southampton's old ground, er, and the Hawthorns.

And let's take a look at the pointless answers...

Er, Baseball Ground, which is Derby County.

County Ground, which was Swindon.

Filbert Street, that was Leicester's old stadium.

Highfield Road, that was Coventry City.

Liberty Stadium, Swansea, is a pointless answer.

Oakwell, that's Barnsley.

Er, Portman Road, which is Ipswich.

They'll like that in Norwich, Carrow Road scoring three

and Portman Road getting nothing.

And Valley Parade, which was Bradford.

And let's take a look at the top three...

Anfield would have scored you 28, the Liverpool ground.

Emirates Stadium, Arsenal, 31.

And Old Trafford, the biggest scorer of all.

Just so hilarious, isn't it?

Manchester United, everything to do with them is always on top.

-Yeah, they always win.

-Hilarious.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to send home

with their high score of 49, Jan and Natalie, I'm afraid it is you.

Not that high a score, actually, and you did so well.

Jan, that was a brilliant last-minute low score.

Sadly it wasn't a minus score but it was impressive nonetheless.

We'll see you again next time, look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thanks so much, Jan and Natalie.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Nick and Darren, Kalmia and Nic,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000, there we are.

APPLAUSE

The big news is we have made it to the head-to-head, which means

you can now confer before you give your answers, and the first pair

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you

five pictures of the official residences of various world leaders.

We just need you to tell us the countries

in which you would find these, please.

Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five official residences, and here they are...

There we are. Five official residences.

Nick and Darren, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK, erm, not absolutely certain about this,

but we think A could be Republic of Ireland.

A, Republic of Ireland, say Nick and Darren.

Now, then, Kalmia and Nic, do you want to talk us through that board?

-No.

-No, erm...

E, clearly the USA.

My only other guess is A for Northern Ireland.

Erm, so we'll play that.

-A, Northern Ireland, Belfast.

-Ah, interesting.

Disputing Nick and Darren's answer there.

So we have Republic of Ireland versus Northern Ireland.

Er, so, Nick and Darren have gone for the Republic of Ireland

for A, Phoenix Park. Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Is it right?

-Ooh...

-Yes!

Down it goes to 16.

APPLAUSE

Which means, I think, we can do this reveal fairly quickly.

Er, Northern Ireland...

Yeah, there we go. Very well done, Nick and Darren.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, that's Phoenix Park, Dublin,

the official residence of the President of Ireland.

We fooled them with a blue sky. Do you like that?

-Er, now, erm, B, Kirribilli Avenue?

-Is it, erm...?

-I don't know, no...

-Australia.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

-Is it, now?

-There we are.

-Would have scored you six points. That's the...

It's the secondary residence of the Prime Minister of Australia.

The main residency is The Lodge in Canberra. Er, C?

-That is, er, France.

-Yeah, it is, that's the Elysee Palace.

Would have scored you 65.

And D?

-Spreeweg.

-Spreeweg.

-Erm, Germany?

-It is Germany.

-There we are.

-And that would have scored you 25.

And E, can I just say, if you put E next to D again...

That looks like the before and after on Changing Rooms.

LAUGHTER

Don't you think? That, of course, is The White House,

and that's the United States,

-and that would have scored 92.

-92, good.

-Yeah.

-Thank you, Richard. OK, here comes question number two.

Now, Kalmia and Nic, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

Our second question is all about...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you some people who didn't win certain

television reality and talent shows now,

but can you tell us what the shows are, please?

We're also going to give you the year in which each show was

-first broadcast.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our non-winners, and here they are...

We have got...

I'll read those again...

Kalmia and Nic, you'll go first.

NIC WHISPERS

-You reckon?

-No, no, no...

I'll go with yours. Go for the bottom one.

Oh, I think that's really obvious.

We'll take the bottom one.

We'll go the bottom one is The Apprentice.

Bottom one, The Apprentice.

OK, now, then, Nick and Darren, the board is all yours.

-Talk us through it.

-Erm, I think the third one is X Factor.

The second one is Britain's Got Talent.

Not quite sure what the fourth one is,

but we think it could be the cake one.

Erm, the first one...

We're going to go for the first one, which is American Idol.

American Idol, say Nick and Darren.

So we have The Apprentice and we have American Idol.

Kalmia and Nic went for The Apprentice.

Let's see if that's right, and let's see how many people said it...

-It is right.

-Oh, no, it's not...

-Come on, come on, come on...

-It's not going to...

No, no...

29 for The Apprentice.

APPLAUSE

Nick and Darren, meanwhile,

have gone for American Idol for the top one.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said American Idol.

It's right.

It wins you the point, very well done.

Down it goes to 9 for American Idol.

APPLAUSE

And that means, Nick and Darren, well done.

After only two questions you're straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yeah, well played.

There is one answer up there that would have beaten American Idol.

Question two wouldn't have done that - it's Britain's Got Talent.

Er, that would have scored you 44 points.

The next one down, of course, is X Factor.

That would have scored you 53 points.

This is the best answer on the board -

Tamal Ray, Richard Burr, James Morton.

-Richard Burr always had a pencil behind his ear.

-It is the cake one!

It is the cake one, Great British Bake-Off.

And it's a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Add that little bit of money to the jackpot.

There we are, look at that. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Kalmia and Nic, I'm so sorry!

We've had you twice in the head-to-head round now,

and I'm afraid within touching distance of the final

but never quite making it through.

It's been lovely having you on the show

and thank you so much for playing.

-Kalmia and Nic.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

-Good luck.

But for Nick and Darren, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Nick and Darren.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, and at the

end of today's show the jackpot is standing at £2,000, there it is.

APPLAUSE

Well, you see... I'm often wrong, but I always...

When you look at the trajectory of people's Pointless progress,

low score after low score,

you were our low scorers in the first round and in our second

round, 2-0 in the head-to-heads with some lovely low scoring there...

I mean, surely that's a jackpot won, isn't it?

-I hope so.

-As good as won, I mean, really!

What would you like to see?

I imagine you cover quite a lot of bases between you.

Really, I'd like to see pop music of some description.

-OK, any other sort of category?

-Geography, erm, maybe?

-OK, geography, good.

-Film, maybe?

-OK.

Let's see what today's selection looks like. We've got...

-Shall we do the Beach Boys?

-It's got to be.

-It's got to be.

It's got to... Well, it's got to be the Beach Boys.

It's got to be the Beach Boys - it's got to be.

That is the hipsters' choice, that is, for sure, er, the Beach Boys.

Very best of luck, gents. Here are your three questions.

We are looking for any UK Top 10 single by the Beach Boys,

according to officialcharts.com.

We're looking for any of the tracks on the original

release of Pet Sounds - that sounds like good news.

Or we're looking for any artist or any band or individual

credited with appearing in the video for BBC Music's God Only Knows.

So, UK Top 10 singles, apart from God Only Knows.

Tracks on Pet Sounds, apart from God Only Knows.

Or anyone who appeared on that video for God Only Knows.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Excellent.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock, there they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK, Pet Sounds...

-I'm Waiting For The Day.

Let's Go Away For Awhile.

-Erm, er...

-I Know There's An Answer.

-Here Today.

-Yeah.

-Erm...

-They're the less well known ones I think we should go for.

-Singles?

Er, That's Not Me... Don't Talk (Put A Head On My Shoulder)...

-Sail On Sailor?

-No, that was nowhere near the Top 10.

-Kokomo?

-No, no, no, it wasn't...

-It was number...

-It wasn't, I promise you, not in this country.

Heroes And Villains, erm, was Top 10. Cotton Fields was Top 10.

-Cotton Fields could be...

-Er...

-..worth a go?

-Lady Lynda was the last Top 10...

-That's a good one.

-Erm...

-That's a good one.

I think we should still... We should go for Pet Sounds tracks.

-Do you think so?

-Two of those, and one...?

Lady Lynda and two Pet Sounds?

-Lady Lynda and, erm, Let's Go Away For Awhile...

-Yep.

-..and I'm Waiting For The Day.

-Ten seconds left.

-Yeah?

-All done?

-Yeah, maybe I'm Waiting For The Day.

-Yeah.

-I think those should be the three answers.

-Yeah, OK.

-I think the early Beach Boys songs are too obvious.

-Yep.

OK, that is your minute up, Nick and Darren.

Sounds like you haven't got any ideas at all!

LAUGHTER

Erm, what three answers...?

It's a tough thing to be narrowing it down just to three answers,

-but which do you think your best three are?

-Well, we'll...

-I think we'll take two from Pet Sounds.

-Yeah.

-And one other Top 10 hit.

-OK.

So, we'll go for,

from Pet Sounds we'll go for Let's Go Away For Awhile.

-Let's Go Away For Awhile.

-And I'm Waiting For The Day.

I'm Waiting For The Day.

And UK Top 10 singles, I think

we'll go for what I think was the last one, which is Lady Lynda.

Lady Lynda. OK, three good answers there.

Which of those do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Lady Lynda.

-You think so?

-I think so.

-Yeah, OK.

Lady Lynda we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

-I'm Waiting For The Day.

-Yeah.

-I'm Waiting For The Day we'll put first.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are...

We have got...

Well, three fantastic answers up there.

Surely one of these is pointless and will win that jackpot for you.

Erm, what would you like to do with the jackpot if that were to be true?

-Nick, you first.

-I think a trip back to New York.

Haven't been to New York for about 13 years now,

-and really want to get back there, so...

-Very good.

Now, Darren, how about you?

I'd like to take my family on a Baltic cruise and go

-and see the Northern Lights.

-Very good, OK...

Aww, you got a few little "Awws" there! Aww...

Lovely, well, very, very best of luck.

As I say, three good answers.

I'm Waiting For The Day was your first answer.

In this case, we were looking for tracks on the original Pet Sounds.

If this is pointless it will win you £2,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said I'm Waiting For The Day.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

All it has to be now is pointless,

and it will win that jackpot for you.

I'm Waiting For The Day now takes us

down through the 20s, into the teens.

Still going down, into single figures,

down it goes, still going down...

Down it goes to 2!

GASPS AND APPLAUSE

Two people out of our 100 got I'm Waiting For The Day.

Let's move quickly onto your next answer, Let's Go Away For Awhile.

Again, we're looking for tracks on the original release of Pet Sounds.

If this is pointless, it will win you a jackpot of £2,000.

How many of our 100 people said Let's Go Away For Awhile?

Is it pointless?

It's right.

I'm Waiting For The Day was right, that took us down to 2.

Let's Go Away For Awhile now takes us down through the 20s,

we're into the teens...

Into single figures, still going down, down we go, passing 2...!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic. Brilliant, very well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fabulous, very well done, congratulations.

Let's Go Away For Awhile was a pointless answer,

which means you go away with that jackpot of £2,000. Very well done.

Very well played, gents, that's terrific stuff.

There's a strong argument for saying that Pet Sounds might be

the greatest album of all time.

Lady Lynda would have scored you two points.

How about that? You did actually mention a few other pointless

answers during your 60 seconds as well, so we'll get onto those.

Er, the UK Top 10 singles, let's take a look at a few of these.

You obviously know your stuff.

And the other one, Cotton Fields, which you did mention.

Heroes And Villains would have scored you

one point if you'd said that.

Now, tracks on Pet Sounds, some very well known ones here.

You said a couple of these. Here Today, you mentioned.

I Just Wasn't Made For These Times is a pointless answer.

I Know There's An Answer, another one that you mentioned.

Let's Go Away For Awhile.

Also Caroline, No was a pointless answer.

Well done if you said that.

And BBC Music's God Only Knows, er, who was on that?

All sorts of big names here...

Could have had Baba Maal, Emeli Sande, Florence Welch,

Gareth Malone, Jake Bugg, Pharrell Williams,

all of those are pointless answers.

Well done if you got any of those at home,

and congratulations in the studio.

Congratulations for reminding us all

what a wonderful record that is, as well.

Thanks very much, Richard, and thanks again to our winning

contestants, Nick and Darren, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.