Episode 20 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

This is Pointless, the quiz show where the biggest winners are the lowest scorers.

Let's meet today's players.

So welcome back, Sue and Paula. You were with us last time.

Everyone of course get two shots on Pointless. This is your second shot.

-Remind us how you did?

-We went out in the second round.

-Second round. What would you love to come up today?

-Anything that I can answer!

OK, good category, yes. Anything in particular? What can you answer?

-Oh...

-Not even that question! Right!

OK, well, best of luck this afternoon.

Looks like you're going to need it. And we welcome back Jonathan and Monica, Jomo! They're with us again.

-Remind us how you did last time?

-Very badly.

-It was that George Clooney! Oh, dear!

-Awful.

Isn't he?

What would you like to have come up, Monica?

Rock Hudson?

Rock Hudson? As a category? OK, well, very best of luck.

Who knows? Fingers crossed, maybe he will make an appearance.

Welcome to Ian and Nick. How do you two know each other?

Unfortunately, he's my son.

Oh... Unfortunate! What's he talking about, Nick?

He says there's a lack of respect, but I don't see that.

-Ian, what do you do?

-I'm a semi-retired art teacher.

Yeah, I had an art teacher like that.

Well, very best of luck to you this afternoon.

And finally we welcome Lee and Karl. How do you two know each other?

-Lee and I work together in newspaper production in Blackburn.

-So who's running the paper while you're away?

That's a good question. We'll find out when we get back.

Very best of luck this afternoon. We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There is one more person to introduce. He is the oracle of facts and figures.

-He is my pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hello.

The Delphic Oracle.

-How are you this afternoon?

-I couldn't be better.

We've got two returning pairs today.

Now, Sue, before we start, is there anything you want me to go over? Any rules or anything, or are you OK?

-No, I'm fine, thank you.

-Sure? If at any point you need us to stop and explain anything, just let us know.

We've got a teacher with us again. Teachers have not covered themselves with glory this series as we know.

-They've been pretty poor so far, Ian.

-Nothing new this game, then.

In terms of the show, I'll say specifically round one, my mum will be very good at. Mum, keep watching.

Round two she'll be terrible at. Round three doesn't matter, she'll have been knocked out by then.

-What, at home? Why, what's she doing?

-She takes it very seriously.

She scores 200 points, she leaves the room. Comes back tomorrow.

Now that's commitment.

We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

but we're after the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game, all our players need to do is score as few points as they possibly can.

But what everybody's trying to do is try and find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won it last time so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot start off at £3,250.

Right, let's play Pointless.

OK, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer. You cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever team has the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated.

Do please be careful, because if anyone gives me an incorrect answer the score will be 100 points.

You've been warned. OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Crime fiction. Your mum's going to love this.

She is literally... She'll be on the edge of her seat.

Standing now, I think.

Crime fiction.

Sue, don't look like that. Why? Not your favourite subject?

-No, I want to go home!

-You can shortly.

OK. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the first question is going to be.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many TV detectives as they could. Richard, can you elaborate?

Yeah, the correct answers here are all fictional detectives or police officers.

Either professional or amateur, who have appeared on television shows.

OK, Right, Sue and Paula, you all drew lots before the show and today you get to go first.

We're going to give you seven possible answers on the board in each pass.

The first set of seven answers is like this.

I can read those again.

And I can tell you that at least one of those answers is pointless,

but also at least one of those answers is incorrect.

Land on any incorrect ones and you will score the maximum 100 points.

Sue, TV detectives, that's all right, isn't it?

Yes. Yeah, I think so.

I think John Luther. I just watched that Luther series,

so I'll go for John Luther.

OK. You're trying to find the most obscure one that's going to score you the lowest number of points,

and you're hoping it's not incorrect.

John Luther, you say. Let us see if that's a good answer and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Correct.

That's a great answer, Sue.

Very well done. John Luther scores you three.

-Well done, Sue. You're getting the hang of it now, aren't you?

-Yes!

Yes, John Luther. Idris Elba plays him in the BBC series that started in 2010.

He's a maverick cop consumed by the darkness of the crime that surrounds him.

Why's no-one ever written something about a maverick cop before(?)

It's a good idea, isn't it?

The thing about Luther though, unlike a lot of TV cops, is he plays by his own rules. That's his thing.

Oh, right. What, so he just tears up the book?

Yeah, he literally wouldn't even know there WAS a rule book, this guy.

Do County Hall ever get on his boss's back?

-I can't believe he hasn't been fired because of the maverick way in which he goes about his business.

-Wow.

I have written a letter of complaint to the head of the Met.

I think it's outrageous some of the stunts he gets away with.

OK, a very good answer, Sue.

John Luther. Monica. This is your kind of area, Monica. Isn't it?

Yes. Frank Burnside.

-Frank Burnside. OK, you know that's right, don't you?

-I hope so.

Do you watch a lot of Frank?

Frankly, yes.

Good answer.

OK, let's see how many people said Frank Burnside.

It's right.

Look at that! Way to go!

Frankly, one. Look at that.

Richard? Frank Burnside?

Frank Burnside from the Bill, played by Christopher Ellison, also had his own spin-off series, Burnside.

It's an incredibly low score, one.

The thing about Burnside is he was a maverick cop. He just played by his own rules.

That's the thing with that guy, and some of the stunts that guy pulled...

-Did he just tear up the book?

-He didn't know there WAS a book, this guy.

I'm not kidding you, how they ever solved anything...

His boss must have had County Hall on his back.

-Well, I very clearly remember the DA once giving him 48 hours to solve a crime...

-Right.

-He didn't have a DA, that's America.

-Wow.

-Forget the DA comment.

We're looking for TV detectives, we're looking for TV detectives. Nick? Two of them have gone.

There is at least one pointless answer on that board.

No-one has found it yet.

-I think no-one till now.

-This isn't my strong point.

I don't know why I stepped up, so I might go with Elizabeth George.

Elizabeth George. Is that a complete stab in the dark?

-It's pretty much the stabbiest and the darkest you're going to get.

-OK, Elizabeth George.

Let's see it it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Elizabeth George.

Unfortunately, Nick, Elizabeth George is a wrong answer which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Richard, Elizabeth George?

-Elizabeth George is the author of the Inspector Lynley Mysteries.

Elizabeth George of course is a maverick author who does not play by the rules.

Does she write the book?

She doesn't even know there is a book, Elizabeth George.

Not until she's finished it, there isn't.

Bad luck, Nick. Big score.

-Mmm.

-Brave answer. Now, Lee, we're looking for TV detectives.

You are the last person to have this smorgasbord. You could go for any of those four.

We still haven't had our pointless answer.

I think Poirot, Taggart and Holmes will be very high on the list so I'll go for Charlie Barlow.

Charlie Barlow. Karl just did this.

I don't know if that's an anger management thing he does, or...

or a small prayer to some deity for picking Charlie Barlow.

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see if your logic has earned you a pointless answer.

I think it may have done. Let's see.

It's correct.

It has!

Very well done, Lee.

Charlie Barlow was a pointless answer and it adds £250 to today's jackpot.

It takes the total to £3,500 and scores you nothing.

APPLAUSE

-Charlie Barlow?

-Yeah, well played, Lee, by process of elimination.

Charlie Barlow, played by Stratford Johns in Z Cars in the '60s.

-Stratford Johns.

-Yeah.

So good he's named after Shakespeare's birthplace.

-That's how good his acting was.

-An extraordinary man, he was.

Chigwell Armstrong, they used to call me.

I've heard them call you other things.

Mainly Chigwell Armstrong.

-Chigwell, that's the one.

-Let's take a look at the other answers.

No surprises left on the board, I don't think.

Hercule Poirot would have scored you 61, so perhaps you should have gone for it instead of Elizabeth George.

Sherlock Holmes would have scored you 45,

and Jim Taggart would have scored you a fairly healthy 20 points.

OK, we're halfway through the round so let's take a look at the scores.

Lee and Karl, what about that?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Karl, see if you can get another pointless on the way back.

-I'll do my best, sir.

-Now then, Nick, that was hard.

-Elizabeth George. I'd have gone for Elizabeth George.

-Sounded nice.

-Charlie what-not sounded like he was in Take That or something.

-That's what I thought.

Ian, you're going to have to pull something spectacular out of the bag.

Monica and Jonathan, Sue and Paula, fantastic scoring this time round.

It's really just Ian who's got the mountain to climb.

Maybe too steep even for you. Right, we're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more answers on the board.

We are looking for TV detectives and we have got for you...

I'll just read those again.

Karl, I can tell you that at least one of those answers is pointless.

As before, at least one of those answers is incorrect.

If you land on the incorrect ones, you'll score 100 points.

You are on nought.

You want to be scoring 99 or less with your answer to ensure your place in the next round.

What are your interests, Karl?

By sheer coincidence I really like the Kurt Wallander series,

the Swedish detective series, so that's what I'm going to go with, Alexander.

Kurt, so for you it's Kurt Wallander.

-Wallander, yeah.

-OK, Kurt Wallander.

You are hoping to score 99 or less.

Here's your red line. Just there. I think Kurt might see you beneath it.

Let's see how many people said Kurt Wallander.

It's good enough.

Ten people said Kurt Wallander.

It takes your total up to ten.

Surprisingly low score for a contemporary detective.

Absolutely, and Wallander of course played in the UK version by Kenneth Branagh.

-Now, he does play it by the rules.

-He does, actually, to be fair to him.

-He's no maverick.

-No.

-He's a good cop.

-Yes. Does the job.

-Does what he's told.

-The rule book.

-He's never had his gun or his badge taken from him. He's just...

-No.

Straight down the line.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Ian, the moment of truth.

You are on 100. You are the highest scorers.

If you can find a pointless answer and hope that either Jonathan or Paula gets an incorrect answer,

it's not out of the question, you are out of the woods.

TV detectives, that's what we're looking for.

Tricky one. I think I recognise the name Tom Barnaby.

I hope it's our Jersey friend.

I'll go with Tom Barnaby.

Let's hope it's our Jersey friend.

There he is, Tom Barnaby. How many people said it? Is it a correct answer?

It is correct.

And it's not a bad answer at all.

105.

Sadly,

sadly, whatever happens I'm afraid you'll be leaving us at the end of this round, I'm sorry to say.

That score is just too big for the others to overtake.

-Richard, Tom Barnaby?

-Yes, Tom Barnaby is a good answer. He is and isn't our Jersey friend.

Because it is John Nettles who played Jim Bergerac,

but Tom Barnaby is his character in Midsomer Murders.

-That's it.

-Another non-maverick cop. It's a much nicer board, isn't it?

Yes. OK, thank you very much. Jonathan, you are on one.

Monica, with Frank Burnside, scored one. Fantastic score.

You can't do any wrong. Even if you pick the incorrect answer, you're still through to the next round.

Why not try and find another pointless answer and add £250 to the jackpot?

OK, Alexander, I am going to run with Gene Hunt.

You're going to run with Gene Hunt?

OK, no red line for you, you're through.

Let's see what Gene Hunt does for you.

It's right.

Three. Amazing score, it gives you a total of four.

Very low score for Gene Hunt.

Yeah. Gene Hunt, played by Philip Glenister in Life On Mars and Ashes To Ashes.

And that man is capital M, capital C. Maverick cop.

He really is a maverick cop, that guy. Someone should rein him in.

Has anyone thought of reining him in? Who's Home Secretary now?

-Who is Home Secretary now?

-I was just thinking, hang on!

OK. Very good answer, Jonathan.

Now, Paula, we are looking for TV detectives.

Try and find the pointless answer. Add £250 to the jackpot.

OK, well, there's two that are very obvious. So I've got two to go at.

Talk us through them, if you like.

Jane Marple I'm sure is very high, and Inspector Morse I'm sure is very high.

I've not heard of Nick Rowan or Dr Henry Jones.

So I'm probably going to pick the wrong one.

I honestly don't remember a detective called Doctor anything.

I'm going to go with Nick Rowan.

If he was a doctor, he'd be tying down two jobs.

-Like...

-You can't be a doctor and a detective! Unless you're a doctor of detectiving.

You can be, it's a proper degree.

Actually, I've just remembered who Henry Jones is. That's Indiana's dad.

Isn't it? So, I think that's been stuck in as a sly one. Nick Rowan, definitely.

Nick Rowan, all right. OK.

Good process of elimination.

Let's see if it has earned the jackpot £250. Nick Rowan?

It's right.

Spectacular work!

Nick Rowan is a pointless answer, it adds £250 to today's jackpot, taking the total up to £3,750.

-And it scores you nothing...

-APPLAUSE

..bringing you to a total of three. Richard?

Yes, PC Nick Rowan is the character that for many years Nick Berry played in Heartbeat.

You may not know the name but you'd recognise the character.

And you're absolutely right, Inspector Morse is a fairly high-scoring answer. 46.

Jane Marple would have got you 35.

And Dr Henry Jones, the real name of Indiana Jones himself.

So it was a wrong answer.

-At the end of round one, the losing pair with the highest score, sorry to say, it's Ian and Nick.

-Teachers!

Teachers, you see, every time! You went for Elizabeth George.

You have to take a punt on this.

That's what it's all about.

-Ian, what would you have liked to have come up?

-Second World War battles.

OK. Very good.

That's precisely the sort of thing that might have come up.

Well, maverick battles.

What, like in Top Gun? Very good, you have been fantastic contestants.

I'm sorry we are saying goodbye to you so soon but we will see you again next time.

Everyone gets two chances on Pointless.

When, hopefully, you'll be on for more than one round.

Anyway, thanks so much for playing, you've been great contestants.

For the remaining three pairs, however, it's now time for round two.

OK, well it's now time to find out which two teams will be going through to the head-to-head

for the chance to reach the Pointless final. The category for round two is...

Sport. Sport.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to be second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question is...

Commentators and their sports. Commentators and their sports.

In this round, we're about to show you a list of sports commentators.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to tell us the sports with which they are most closely associated.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you six commentators and all you've got to do is tell us their sport.

Obviously, the more obscure ones will score you fewer points. A wrong answer will cost you 100 points.

Right, your first six reads like this.

I'll read those again.

OK, Paula, we are looking for the sports that these commentators are most closely associated with.

Do you watch lots of sports, Paula?

I hate the majority of sports.

The majority? What's the small minority that you love?

I like... Well, I watch a certain amount of football with my husband.

I'm little bit aware of golf because of my husband.

But as a general rule, I don't like watching it.

-OK.

-So, I'm aware of three of those people.

OK, so not really an ideal category for you?

No. I'm assuming the three that I know do the sports I think.

So rather than risk it, I'm going to pick one that I'm quite sure of.

So I'm going to go John Virgo, snooker.

John Virgo, snooker.

Let's see if that's correct, and if it is, how many people knew John Virgo did snooker?

It's right.

46, John Virgo earns you. Richard?

Yeah, John Virgo, a regular commentator for the BBC on snooker.

He also used to be on Big Break, he was like me to your Jim Davidson.

Wow, there's a job(!) To be like you to Jim Davidson?

-I'm more like John Virgo than you are like Jim Davidson. You're quite like Jim Davidson.

-Am I?

-A little bit.

-Am I a bit?

You've got that thing. You've had four wives.

You live mainly in Dubai.

If we're honest.

And I'm nothing like John Virgo at all, other than I won the 1982 Mercantile Credit Classic.

We are looking for the sports that these commentators are most closely associated with.

Jonathan, I know that you know every name on that list.

Well, you could be wrong. It's not one of my best subjects, Alexander.

However, I am going to have a stab at Sharron Davies, swimming.

Swimming? OK, Jonathan says Sharron Davies, swimming.

Let's see if that's the correct answer and how many people said it, if it is.

It's right.

35, that scores you, Sharron Davies and swimming. Richard?

Yeah, another BBC commentator. She first swam for Britain at the age of 11, Sharron Davies.

Wow! Not a bad score, Jonathan.

Karl. So, you're looking for the sports these commentators

are most closely associated with. This just plays into your hands, doesn't it?

Alex, what are you doing to me?

What? Come on, Karl!

-Isn't this your bag?

-The only two names I knew up there are both gone.

-I'm cream crackered now!

-Oh, dear! Dear, oh dear!

Well, we're looking for the sports these commentators are most closely associated with.

The only other two I have heard of are Peter O'Sullivan and Dan Maskell,

and I'm not sure at all what their individual fields of expertise are.

But I'm going to say Peter O'Sullivan and I think it might be, if I'm lucky, horse racing?

-Oh, you're getting a firm nod from Jonathan and Monica. Nodding in unison.

-That's good!

You might have been on the back shelf of a car.

OK, let's see if Peter O'Sullivan did indeed commentate on horse racing.

And if he did, how many people knew that answer?

You're right.

Best answer yet, Karl.

That scores you 29.

Peter O'Sullivan, Richard?

Peter O'Sullivan was the BBC's main horse-racing commentator for 50 years.

From 1947 on the radio all the way through to 1997.

Let's take a look at the rest of the answers, shall we?

Dan Maskell is tennis, the voice of Wimbledon. He taught Prince Charles to play tennis.

It would have scored you 19 points.

Andy Gray at the top is a football commentator on Sky.

Would have scored you 36.

And Mike Tucker, very well done if you got at home, is a pointless answer,

is an equestrian, showjumping commentator.

So John Virgo is actually the most well-known commentator on the board there.

I was about to say, thanks to Point Break. But he wasn't in that film?

-Big Break.

-That's right, yes.

-You're thinking of Keanu Reeves.

-You're right, I was thinking of Keanu Reeves.

OK, let's look at the scores, we're halfway through the round.

Well, quite a close grouping, Lee and Karl obviously looking the best.

Sue and Paula, 46, a little bit out in front there.

Sue, do your magic in the second pass and you'll be fine.

We're going to come back down the line, can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more sports commentators on the board. And we have got...

I'll read them again.

Remember, we are looking for the sports with which these commentators are most closely associated,

and you're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people said.

Lee, you know all these people?

Not all of them, but I know some of them.

I think I'm going to go for Richie Benaud because I think it's cricket.

Your score is 29, if you come in at 16 or less you're through.

Richie Benaud, cricket.

There is your red line. Let's see how Richie Benaud does it for you.

How many people said Richie Benaud?

Not a bad answer, actually.

That scores you 24 and takes your total up to 53.

-Richie Benaud?

-The former Australian cricket captain turned commentator.

Spectacular.

Monica. So, you're looking for the sports that these commentators are most closely associated with.

Peter Alliss, golf.

You are saying Peter Alliss, golf.

You're currently on 35. You want to score 17 or less with this answer to avoid becoming the high scorers.

There's your red line. Below that red line, you are through.

Let's see how many people said Peter Alliss, golf.

29, that scores you.

That takes your total up to 64.

Good news for Lee and Karl, they're through.

-Richard?

-Yeah, ex-professional, won many tournaments,

played in Ryder Cups and now the BBC's golf commentator. Very good he is, too.

Good, very good. OK.

Sue, you are on 46.

You want to be scoring 17 or less if you are to avoid leaving the show.

OK, we are looking for the sports most commonly associated with these commentators.

How many of those do you know?

I think I know one. I should have gone in the first round because I knew quite a few of those.

I only know one of these, and I think it's going to be a really high score.

And I'm only guessing at it.

I'll have to go Murray Walker and I think he used to be Formula 1.

Murray Walker, Formula 1.

Here comes your red line.

If Murray Walker from Formula 1 gets you below that red line,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said Murray Walker, Formula 1?

34, that scores you, Sue,

taking your total up to 80.

I'm afraid that sees you off the show. Richard?

Murray Walker, very famously the Formula 1 commentator for the BBC.

He said, which is apt at the end of round two, he once said,

"with half the race gone, there is still half the race to go."

Which is the position we find ourselves in now.

Wise words indeed.

He had a very loud way of talking, because he used to have to talk over very loud engines all the time.

I wonder if he spoke like that at home? Let's take a look at the other three.

-Alexander, do you know any of those?

-Bill McLaren, obviously, rugby.

Bill McLaren would have scored you 18 points.

I don't know the others.

Ron Pickering is athletics and used to present We Are The Champions when we were kids as well.

15 points. And Ted Lowe, Whispering Ted Lowe was a snooker commentator.

He would have scored you 14 points. It's the best answer on the board.

OK, thanks, Richard.

So at the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid, it's Sue and Paula.

-It's round two that has always done for you, hasn't it?

-At least I got it right this time.

You had a fantastic round one as well.

You got a pointless as well, Paula. So you leave having left a legacy for the remaining pairs.

-A little bit of money.

-An entirely selfless act.

Very sorry to have to say goodbye to you. This time it really is goodbye, it's your second chance.

-But you're still going to be good neighbours, aren't you?

-Yeah!

Very good. Well, it's been lovely having you on the show, thank you.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

We've said goodbye to two teams. It's time to find out who will be playing for today's jackpot,

which currently stands at £3,750.

OK, you're now going to be going head-to-head on the best of three questions.

You're allowed to confer, all you have to do is come up with an answer

that scores less than the other pair to win each question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK, here's your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many permanent UN Security Council members as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any of the five countries

that are permanent members of the UN Security Council as of April 2010.

OK, Lee and Karl, because you've played the best throughout the show so far, you get to go first.

THEY CONFER

OK, can we have an answer?

Yes, a hesitant one.

We are going to say us, UK, England.

UK, the United Kingdom.

Jonathan and Monica?

Permanent UN Security Council members, that's what we're looking for.

I think Russia is quite big, they seem to argue with everybody.

They've certainly got the power in Russia. They've certainly got the power in Germany and France.

What shall we do, Germany? Or Russia? It's got to be Russia.

-Yes.

-We'll say Russia.

OK, you're going to say Russia.

Lee and Karl answered first with United Kingdom,

let's see if that's correct, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

32.

United Kingdom scores you 32.

Jonathan and Monica have said Russia, let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Good answer, 20. That wins you the point.

After the first question, Jonathan and Monica are up 1-0.

There was one answer that would have beaten Russia. Let's take a look at all five of them.

These are the five members of the UN Security Council.

China with 18 would have won the point.

There's Russia with 20, France 24, United States 30 and the UK was actually the top answer.

What could possibly go wrong with those five countries in charge, eh(?)

We're in safe hands.

Here is your second question.

Lee and Karl, if Jonathan and Monica win this point,

they are straight through to the final and we say goodbye to you.

You have to win this if you want to stay in the game.

OK, we gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

foods from the song Food Glorious Food as they could.

-Richard, it's a question from a musical?

-Finally!

People are going to be hanging up bunting.

We're looking for any edible foodstuff from the song from Oliver, Food Glorious Food.

Other than crust or crumb, we're not counting those as foodstuffs.

So, any individual foodstuff from Food Glorious Food.

OK, this time Jonathan and Monica get to go first.

I think I'm going to say pease pudding.

OK, pease pudding from Jonathan and Monica. Karl and Lee?

Jelly and custard.

Sausage and mustard!

-I'm out of rhyming words now.

-Did you say mustard?

-Mustard, yeah.

-I think mustard.

-We'll go with mustard.

You're going to go with mustard.

OK, in the order they were given,

Jonathan and Monica said pease pudding, let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Well, it is right.

Wow!

Oh, that's good.

That scores you nine. Lee and Karl, this is to stay in the game.

Mustard. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it. Mustard.

You have to win this one to stay in the game.

Ooh!

It scores you 20. Sadly, it's not going to do it for you.

So after two questions, in straight sets, Jonathan and Monica are through to the final, 2-0.

Tough luck, Lee and Karl. There were four answers that would have beaten pease pudding.

At home, if you're singing along, even as we speak, let's take a look at all of those foodstuffs.

Peaches and cream at the bottom with two each. Steak with four then gruel with eight. There's pease pudding.

And we'll take a look at the first page of the list. Saveloy with 10.

Jelly, 16, sausage, 18 and then mustard and custard right at the top with 20 and 38.

OK, so the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head round is Lee and Karl. Bad luck.

Yes, United Nations and Lionel Bart.

Two areas you could do better on.

Well, I'm afraid that's bad news for the newspaper people

because you're going to have to stick around for another show.

Heaven knows what the headlines will read!

-They'll be on the back page, probably.

-It will be a mess.

You did fantastically well, your first appearance and you got through to the head-to-head.

You will be back next time for your second and final chance to get through to the Pointless final.

But for now we have to say goodbye, thank you so much for playing.

But for Jonathan and Monica, it's now time for our Pointless final and the chance to win £3,750.

Well, congratulations, Jonathan and Monica.

You've seen off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Marvellous.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,750.

The rules are very simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people could think of.

We've had two pointless answers on the show today,

you just need to find one more of them to go home with that money.

Firstly, you have to choose a category from these three options.

You can go for...

Number ones, darts, world leaders.

Number ones, darts, world leaders.

You're quite good on world leaders.

Yeah, world leaders, please.

World leaders it is. OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many presidents of South Africa as they could.

Presidents of South Africa. Richard?

We're looking for any acting or permanent president of South Africa

from when the post was first instigated in 1961 through to 2010.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £3,750 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

Jan Smuts?

Jan Smuts. Nelson Mandela.

I can't remember the latest one.

-Pik Botha.

-Pik Botha?

Pik Botha, yeah. OK.

Those are your three? Stop the clock. Look at that.

Barely 12 seconds gone before you got your three answers.

-What are they?

-OK, we have Pik Botha.

-Botha.

-Jan Smuts.

-Smuts.

-Mandela.

-Mandela.

Which of those do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Smuts.

-We'll put Smuts last.

Right.

-Which is your least likely?

-Mandela.

Mandela, OK, let's put those up on the board in the order of confidence.

Nelson Mandela, Pik Botha, Jan Smuts.

Those are the answers you gave us.

Nelson Mandela, this is your first answer.

Your first shot at the jackpot of £3,750.

This has to be pointless, obviously.

-Confident?

-No!

-I've heard of him.

-I have vaguely.

OK, let's see how many people said Nelson Mandela.

-Oh, that's a surprise.

-Surprisingly few.

You knew that wasn't going to be a pointless answer.

Nelson Mandela, of course, everyone knows that. You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

We are now into slightly more serious territory, these are more considered answers.

More likely contenders to win you the £3,750.

We were looking for presidents of South Africa, your second answer was Pik Botha.

£3,750. What would you do with that?

-Have a holiday.

-Where would you go on your holiday?

On a cruise.

-You've done a lot of cruises?

-Yes, I have.

-Jonathan, do you cruise?

I have actually followed in my mother's footsteps and I

have been on a few cruises but not as many as my mum.

Right. Do you enjoy them as much as she does?

I think it's a fantastic way to go, to be honest. You can do as much as you like or as little as you like.

Just totally, totally relaxed. It's a nice way to travel. It really is.

OK, let's see if that cruise is going to become a possibility.

This has to be a pointless answer for you to win the jackpot.

Your second answer was Pik Botha.

Let's see if it's correct. And if it is, how many people said Pik Botha?

This is for £3,750.

-Wrong?

-I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer, therefore not a pointless answer.

You only have one final chance to win today's jackpot. We are looking for presidents of South Africa.

You said this was the answer you were most confident with.

Obviously, it has to be pointless to win that jackpot of £3,750.

Jan Smuts. Jan Smuts. We have to hope that nobody said Jan Smuts

and that it is a correct answer for you to win the jackpot of £3,750.

Let's see how many people said Jan Smuts.

Wow!

What a surprise, another incorrect answer.

You haven't found that pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't leave with today's jackpot of £3,750. That will roll over to the next show.

But you have been amazing and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

So, Richard?

Let's clear up Pik Botha first. Pik Botha and PW Botha are different people.

Pik Botha was the Foreign Minister at the time of PW Botha, who was Pieter William Botha.

And Jan Smuts was Prime Minister, but a long time before this, from 1919 to 24. And again from 39 to 48.

So, both good answers, both senior South African politicians,

but neither of them President, I'm afraid.

There were a number of pointless answers, if we take a look at the board.

-De Klerk?

-De Klerk wasn't a pointless answer, that would have scored you plenty of points.

BJ Vorster, Charles Robberts Swart, Chris Heunis.

Let's look at some more.

-Jim Fouche, Johannes de Klerk, which is not FW de Klerk.

-No.

Jozua Francois Naude. And there were three other pointless answers.

Marais Viljoen, Nicolaas Johannes Diederichs and Theophilus Donges.

Those were all pointless answers. Very well done if you got any of those at home.

So, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to Jonathan and Monica.

It's been fantastic having you on the show, thank you so much for playing, thank you.

Nobody has won our jackpot today so it rolls over, which means on the next show we are playing for £4,750.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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