Episode 29 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and this is Pointless,

the quiz show where fewer points mean the better your chance of winning. Let's meet the players.

We welcome back Gavin and Louise. You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances.

-Remind us how you did last time.

-We lost in the head to head, 2-1.

It was that sections of the orchestra question.

It saw you off. Louise, may I commend you on your country shirt? Look at that!

That's a fabulous shirt. I'm guessing, hidden behind your name badge, there's more livestock.

There's more, yes.

Thank you for making such a fabulous effort.

Very best of luck to you today. Welcome to Joanna and Phil.

-How do you two know each other?

-We met in a delivery room a few years ago

and we've kept in touch ever since.

Ah, that's the best answer I've had to that question for a father and daughter team. Very good.

I'm assuming it's not father and midwife team.

That would... Sorry, Joanna, what am I talking about? It's father and daughter.

What do you do, Phil?

-I'm a company director.

-Very good. Joanna?

-Criminal lawyer.

Criminal lawyer? Wow. What a team!

Have you got any criminal law questions coming up?

I don't think we've ever had a criminal lawyer on the show. Or anyone that clever...

Not as a contestant. Very best of luck to you.

And we welcome Simon and Kay-Leigh. How do you know each other?

We're actually engaged. We're getting married next year.

Met about nine years ago in the club in Manchester called Rock World.

-Rock World?

-It's now closed down, unfortunately.

-Simon, nine years it's taken you.

-Yeah. Nine years.

Dear, oh, dear. I hope it doesn't take that long to get through to the final of Pointless.

-Hopefully not.

-Very best of luck to the pair of you.

Finally, we welcome back Jillian and Lesley. You were on the show last time. How did you do?

We didn't do very well. We only got to the first round.

-You did.

-But there was only one point in it.

-Exactly. It was the G20.

-Yeah, it was.

Dear, oh, dear. We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

Finally, let me introduce the man for whom no fact is too obscure.

-He's my Pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE

How do you like that? This time, you're neither a lexicon, a compendium, a shelf,

-an encyclopaedia, you're just a man.

-Just a man. Finally.

Years of surgery have paid off.

I'm recognised for what I am, what I was born as.

Yeah. Well, yeah.

We've got a very good returning pair who were in the head to head last time.

I thought they might go all the way, before I knew we had a criminal lawyer and a company director.

Quite often, we have questions where you get a groan from the contestants cos they're quite hard.

Usually once a show. I guarantee you, question one, there'll be a groan.

-Guaranteed.

-Hm.

-So stick around for question one, at least.

-OK.

-HE LAUGHS

We put all our questions to 100 people. But this is Pointless

so we are after the obscure answers that those 100 people didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot, our players need to score as few points as they can.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer, that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, if it happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at an unbelievable £5,000.

-AUDIENCE: Whooo!

-There you are. Let's play Pointless!

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated. Be careful.

If anyone gives an incorrect answer,

they will score the maximum 100 points.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Can you decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many 2010 Formula 1 drivers as they could.

-Where's the groan?

-They're deliberately not groaning cos I said they would.

-Groaning inwardly.

OK, Richard.

We're looking for any driver who's competing in the 2010 Formula 1 World Championships.

We won't be counting test drivers. For those of you thinking of going for a test driver, afraid not.

So any driver who's competing in the 2010 World Formula 1 Championships.

OK, thanks, Richard. Gavin and Louise, you drew lots before the show and today you get to go first.

I don't even know if I've got the name right,

but I'm going to go for Jenson Button.

-Jenson Button.

-It's probably wrong.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

Let's see how many people said Jenson Button.

-It's not 100.

-It's not 100, Louise. Jenson Button scores you 86.

-Richard.

-The 2009 world champion, Jenson Button.

-OK, Joanna.

I do like Formula 1. I've been a bit unable to watch it due to little people this year.

Leprechauns? What?

They're kind of more naughty than leprechauns.

-Ah, elves.

-Yeah, those are the people.

Remember, we are looking for the 2010 season Formula 1 drivers.

I think I'm going to say Sebastian Vettel.

OK, Sebastian Vettel. Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said that.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible. Sebastian Vettel.

It's right.

Could be a good answer.

-19!

-APPLAUSE

Impressive score, Joanna. Richard.

Yeah, good answer. Sebastian Vettel drives for Red Bull, German driver.

OK. Very good. Now, Kay-Leigh.

Erm, it's on at times of the day when I prefer to be asleep, so I know very little about it.

-OK.

-I want to go for Lewis Hamilton.

-Lewis Hamilton.

-Who goes out with one of the Pussycat Dolls. Or did.

I'm not sure that's going to score you any fewer points, but I like it.

-OK. Lewis Hamilton.

-Please.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible. Jenson Button scored 86. Let's try Lewis Hamilton.

It's right. And it scores less than Jenson Button. That scores you 82.

-Lewis won't like that, but it's good news for you. Richard.

-Lewis Hamilton is Jenson Button's team mate

at McLaren and also a world champion. Early 20s, multi-millionaire,

going out with a Pussycat Doll. But is he happy?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he is. He's delirious.

And now then, Lesley.

-Yeah?

-I know that you've been itching to get your turn

because you are going to dazzle us with maybe a pointless answer.

-I don't think so.

-Oh, no, I do.

-The only two I know are Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton.

Here's fun. You're going to have to make one up.

I have watched it before and I know their names, but...

-Yeah.

-I'm sure there's one... Rice?

-I'll just have to go for Reiser.

-Reiser?

Yeah. I don't know what it is, but I know it's not that.

Maybe, if I delay enough, maybe someone called Reiser can start in Formula 1,

while I filibuster here.

Erm...you're hoping to score as few points as possible

with a nice, obscure Formula 1 driver called Reiser.

Let's hope it's correct and, if it is, let's see if anyone said it. Reiser.

Oh, dear. Unfortunately, Reiser is a wrong answer, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

You're not that far ahead of the people who said Button and Hamilton.

So don't be too down-hearted. Richard.

Yeah, the good news is, none of our 100 people said Reiser.

The bad news is, that's cos...

-She was Gorbachev's wife.

-THEY LAUGH

She was Gorbachev's wife and she made it no further than Formula 2.

Not bad. OK, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Pretty high-scoring in the first pass with one notable exception.

Jillian and Lesley on 100. Simon and Kay-Leigh, 82. Gavin and Louise, 86.

All of you are going to have to make an effort in the next pass to answer as obscurely as you can.

Fabulous answer, Joanna. You look very good for going through to the next round. Back down the line.

Will the second players please take their places at the podium?

Jillian, you are on 100. You are the high scorers.

How good is your Formula 1 knowledge?

I've never watched Formula 1 in my life.

I only knew Lewis Hamilton.

-Oh, dear.

-That's it. But I'll have a guess.

You're going to have a guess, or make one up.

-THEY LAUGH

-I'm going to go for an old one.

He might have started driving again. Erm, Michael Schumacher.

-Michael Schumacher?

-Yes.

-He might well have started driving again, but did he?

Let's see if Michael Schumacher is correct and if it is, how many people said Michael Schumacher.

It's right.

-Very, very, very good, Jillian.

-APPLAUSE

A brilliant answer. That scores you 58 and brings your total up to 158. Richard.

Yeah, brilliant answer and brilliant logic. He gave up and then started again in 2010.

-Seven-time world champion.

-Very good. That might be just enough to see you into the next round.

-Might be.

-Hopefully.

-Let's see what happens.

-Simon, I'm guessing you know a lot about Formula 1.

-I've watched quite a few of them

-but I'm torn between two.

-Mm-hm.

I think I'm going to go for another German, Timo Glock.

Timo Glock. OK. You are on 82.

You want to score 75 or less to avoid becoming the highest scorers.

There is your red line. Below that, you're through to the next round. Let's see if Timo Glock

is a correct answer and, if it is, how many people said it. Timo Glock.

It's good enough!

Might be better than that.

Oh! Brilliant, Simon!

Fantastic low-scoring answer. That scores you four, our lowest score yet,

and takes your total up to 86. Richard.

Yeah, brilliant answer. Timo Glock is German, drives for Virgin Racing.

-He's the guy Lewis Hamilton famously overtook on the last lap to win his world championship.

-Thanks.

Now, Phil, we're looking for Formula 1 drivers.

2010 season Formula 1 drivers.

You are currently on 19. It doesn't matter what you score,

you are through to the next round come what may. Even if you

say something that you've just made up.

-THEY LAUGH

-What are you going to give me?

I can think of a couple left. I was going to go for Sebastian Vettel.

-Oh, right.

-But I'm going to go for a safe bet, Felipe Massa.

Massa. Felipe Massa. Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Low score.

Very good indeed, Phil.

That scores you 17 and takes your total up to 36. Richard.

Yeah, again, very good answer.

Brazilian driver, drives for Ferrari.

Very good. Now, the moment of truth.

Gavin, you and Louise are on 86.

The highest scorers at the moment are Jill and Lesley on 158.

You have to score 71 or less with your answer.

If it had been NASCAR, I would've been fine.

All right, NASCAR, then.

-Round three, I think, NASCAR.

-Round three, yeah.

It's banger racing, round two. THEY LAUGH

I've sat here with two and luckily one's left

so I'm going to have to go for Mark Webber.

Mark Webber. Intake of breath from the audience.

But a nod, from Simon, of reassurance. Don't worry, said Simon.

There is your red line. Oh, dear.

Tense moment for Jillian and Lesley. I think they were hoping

that you were going to have to make up a name.

Maybe he has. Maybe it's all a bluff.

-Mark Webber.

-THEY LAUGH

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

It's right. It's good enough.

A very good answer, Gavin.

That scores you 25, takes your total up to 111. Richard.

Yeah, Mark Webber is Sebastian Vettel's Australian co-driver for Red Bull.

Good answer and good way to get through to round two.

There were three pointless answers. Well done if you got any of these at home. Let's take a look.

There's Kobayashi, the Sauber driver.

Lucas Di Grassi, who drives for Virgin Racing.

And Vitantonio Liuzzi from Force India. All of those were pointless

so very well done if you got any of those.

In terms of Reiser, the closest thing was Pedro de la Rosa.

-It was that one, yeah.

-Well, Pedro de la Rosa would've scored you four points.

-So...

-OK, thanks, Richard. At the end of round one, the losing pair

-with the highest score is Jillian and Lesley. Again, round one.

-ALL: Aww!

-We haven't seen you beyond round one.

-I know.

So who'll be watching at home, shouting at the screen?

-Erm...

-Nobody, hopefully.

THEY LAUGH

You haven't done well in terms of Pointless,

but you have covered yourselves in glory in terms of being very brave

and very bold and you've played the game the right way. Sadly, you just got the wrong answers.

That's just how it happens. This was your second chance,

-so I'm afraid we do say goodbye now, but you've been wonderful. Thanks.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Now, there's only room for two pairs in the head to head,

so one of the teams is going to be leaving us at the end of this round. The category for round two is...

Cinema. Decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, the question is...

In this round, we're going to show you some famous movie quotes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to tell us which movies they came from. Richard.

We're going to give you six quotes in each pass

and the more obscure the quote, the fewer points you'll score.

If you give us an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points. See how many of them you can get at home.

OK, your first six are...

Are you liking the voice I'm putting on?

-Are you putting on a voice?

-Yes, yes. I'm performing them.

-Do go on.

OK, Louise. What are you laughing about?

No, don't like those. Can I have some more?

Yeah, sure, let's have some more. Can we have six more, please? Louise doesn't like those.

-Are you not a film fan?

-I am, but...I can't think of most of those quotes.

Erm...

I'm going to go for a very obvious answer, but an answer that I'm confident of.

-OK. OK.

-So "Stupid is as stupid does" is Forrest Gump.

"Stupid is as stupid does" is Forrest Gump. Let's see if it's right and how many people knew that.

-19!

-SHE LAUGHS

That's not a terrible score, Louise. 19.

Yeah, "Stupid is as stupid does" is one of the sayings the Forrest Gump says his mother,

-Sally Field, tells him.

-Joanna.

We are looking for the movies that these quotes come from.

You have five left on the board to choose from.

-Do you watch a lot of films?

-I do, but...

-Do you remember dialogue from films?

-No.

No, I obviously don't. I remember nice-looking men

-and good action scenes.

-SHE LAUGHS

I'm drawing a blank, so I'm going to have to be obvious.

I'm going to have to go with "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

-and hope it's Gone With The Wind.

-You're hoping it's from Gone With The Wind.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people knew it.

It's right.

-55.

-APPLAUSE

55 that scores you. It's always a sensible thing in this round.

Much better that 100. Richard.

Spoken by Rhett Butler at the end of the film. He did though, didn't he?

He did give a damn, yeah. Come on, Rhett.

Really? You didn't give a damn? I think you protest too much, my friend.

I think you give plenty of a damn, that's what I think.

-Don't you think? That's my reading of the film.

-That's what I think, too. We concur.

Simon, we are looking for the movies... Back to the game.

We are looking for the movies from which these quotes have been lifted.

You have four left to choose from and you're the last to have this selection so talk us through it.

-I have a feeling you know all of these.

-Erm, I know the quotes

but I can't think of the films.

The top three, I can picture the films,

and I'm pretty sure they're all big films,

but I just can't think what they are.

So I'm going to take a guess at "We rob banks"

and I'm going to guess at Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

You're saying Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels for "We rob banks".

Let's see if that's correct, maybe it is, and let's see how many people knew that "We rob banks"

comes from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Ohh!

Unfortunately, that is a wrong answer, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-But it was a brave effort. Richard.

-Yeah, tough luck.

I'll give you the full quote and give you another go. "This here is Miss Bonnie Parker. I'm Clyde Barrow.

"We rob banks."

It's from Bonnie And Clyde, of course.

It's a terrible catchphrase, "We rob banks."

-Terrible.

-So obvious. Let's take a look at the other three.

"Here's looking at you, kid." What do you think?

-Casablanca.

-Exactly right. That would've scored you 31 points. "I could've been a contender."

-On The Waterfront.

-Yes, Marlon Brando. Seven points.

-"A boy's best friend is his mother."

-I have no idea.

-Psycho?

-Exactly right. Spoken by Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates.

-Ohh.

-What a psycho that guy was, wasn't he?

-Yeah, wasn't he?

First time I saw that film, it didn't scare me at all. Second time...scary.

OK, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the scores.

Well, it's a wide field, as it always is.

Simon and Kay-Leigh. Oh, dear, Kay-Leigh, you've got a mountain to climb in the second pass.

Joanna and Phil, not bad there, 55. Could be better.

But Gavin and Louise, fantastic! Great answer from Louise there.

Gavin, keep that up, you'll be through to the head to head.

Back down the line. Second players, take your places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more movie quotes on the board. And here they are.

We are looking for the movies these quotes have been lifted from

and you are trying to find the most obscure ones that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

OK, Kay-Leigh, you are way out in front on 100.

You have to score as low as you possibly can with this answer. How is that board looking to you?

-The first one looked better for me.

-Really?

Yeah. There are some I don't know and I'm not even going to guess. There are some I do know.

I think they're obvious if you know them.

There's a few on there I know, so I'm just trying to pick the one I want to go for.

-I'll go for "This is Sparta."

-OK.

And I hope this is right, I think it's from 300.

Let's see if that is right, let's hope it's right.

You're saying "This is Sparta" 300. If that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Good answer. Look at that! 11! Well done, Kay-Leigh.

Very good. That's exactly what you needed to do.

That scored you 11, taking your total up to 111.

-Richard.

-Yeah, very good answer. "This is Sparta" spoken, or yelled by Gerard Butler.

Very well done, Kay-Leigh. Now, Phil, you are on 55.

You have to score 55 to avoid becoming the high scorers.

How is that selection of quotes looking to you, Phil? Do you know your films?

-Reasonably well, yeah.

-Reasonably well to know nearly all the ones there?

I know three of them.

I think. Certainly two. The third's a little bit more obscure

and I'm just wondering whether to gamble and go for that one.

You see, it's all hingeing on what kind of a film buff Gavin is.

-OK. I'm going to go safe.

-OK.

I'm going to go, "On my signal, unleash hell."

-Which is from?

-Gladiator.

Gladiator, you say? OK, there's your red line.

If you come below that red line, you are through to the head to head.

Is it from Gladiator? If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh, gets you through!

Wow!

That is fantastic news for you, Phil.

Terrible news for Kay-Leigh.

That scores you six, taking your total up to 61.

Surprisingly low score, I think. Spoken by Russell Crowe as Maximus Decimus Meridius.

Perhaps if he'd said it in more of an Irish accent, it would've stuck in people's minds.

Mm-hm. Very good. Phil, very good answer, very good score. 61 is your total.

Gavin. Now then, you are on 19.

You have to score 91 or less. That's not a massive challenge.

91 or less and you are through to the head to head for the second time in two shows.

I bet you know quite a lot about films.

I thought I knew a lot, but I'm struggling with those up there

so I'm going to play very safe and hopefully it's less than 90.

I'm going to go for "There's no place like home" and Wizard Of Oz.

"No place like home" Wizard Of Oz, you're saying.

There's your red line.

If that gets you below the red line, you're through to the head to head

and we'll say goodbye to Kay-Leigh and Simon.

-What do you think?

-BOTH: I think we're going home.

We'll see. "There's no place like home" Wizard Of Oz. Is it right and how many people said it?

It's right. You're through.

36 that scores you, taking your total up to 55.

-Richard.

-Yeah, very well done. Through to the next round.

Let's take a look through the rest of the list.

"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die." What's the from?

Erm, it's Donald Pleasence. It must be Goldfinger.

-It's not Donald Pleasence, but it is Goldfinger.

-Oh.

-It would've scored you 30 points.

-"You talkin' to me?"

-Yeah! Taxi Driver.

It is from Taxi Driver. Martin Scorsese says there's a sequel coming to Taxi Driver.

We've been waiting for it for ages. I rang him. He said it's ten minutes away, it's round the corner.

Would've scored you 18 points. "This dress is for sale, I'm not."

-Indecent Proposal.

-It is, and that was a pointless answer,

so very well done if you got that at home. Spoken by Demi Moore. You know what? She was for sale.

-As it turns out, she was.

-She was.

-Anyway, thanks, Richard.

At the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score is Simon and Kay-Leigh.

Dear, oh, dear. I was sure you were going right through to the head to head and possibly further.

-I'm just happy it wasn't my fault.

-THEY LAUGH

Oh, very good.

Simon, you heard what she said.

-Does she bear grudges?

-Yeah, a little bit.

OK. She won't have to bear them for long. We will see you again next time.

Everyone gets two shots. We'll see you, I hope, for even longer. You've been fantastic.

-Thanks for playing.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things are about to get more exciting in the head to head.

Well done, Joanna and Phil, Gavin and Louise. You've made it to the head to head.

Only one pair can make it through to the final and play for the jackpot

which currently stands at £5,000.

APPLAUSE

You are now going head to head on the best of three questions.

You are now allowed to confer, that's the good news.

You have to come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair to win the point.

The first pair to win two points will be playing for our jackpot in the final. Let's play Pointless.

OK, here's your first question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many chemical elements with single letter symbols are they could. Richard.

We're looking for any element from the periodic table whose chemical symbol comprises just one letter.

There are 14 of them and we're looking for the element, not just the letter.

You can't just say a letter of the alphabet and expect to get away with it. So there's 14 elements

whose chemical symbol comprises one letter.

OK. Joanna and Phil, because you've played best throughout the show so far, you get to go first.

We'd like to go with K for potassium.

Ooh! K for potassium. Gavin and Louise.

-Is it? Don't know.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK, we don't know, but we're going to go with H for hydrogen.

-H for hydrogen.

OK, so we have K for potassium from Joanna and Phil.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

-Yes!

-Well done.

Oh! 14!

APPLAUSE

Good answer.

Gavin and Louise have gone for H for hydrogen.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

Not bad! Look at that! 21!

APPLAUSE

Closer than you might have imagined, but after the first question, it is 1-0 to Joanna and Phil. Richard.

Yeah, potassium's a very good answer. There were a whole bunch of answers that could've beaten it.

Vanadium, which is V, that would've scored you nothing,

as would Yttrium, which is Y. Both of those are pointless.

Tungsten, which is, of course, W. That would've scored you one point.

Fluorine, F, three points.

Phosphorus, P, three points.

Uranium, U, five points.

Iodine, I, that would've scored you seven points.

Then sulphur, S, on nine and boron, B, on nine.

Potassium, K, scored 14 points. Nitrogen, N, 14.

Then carbon, C, would've scored you 17.

Oxygen, O and hydrogen, H, 21 points.

OK, here is your second question. It is 1-0 to Joanna and Phil.

Gavin and Louise, you have to get this one right to stay in the game.

You have to win this point. Here is your second question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Wham! top 40 singles as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, periodic table, Wham! It's much the same stuff, isn't it?

We're simply looking for any Wham! single to reach the UK top 40

as of April 2010.

OK, this time, Gavin and Louise, you get to go first.

-Wham Rap.

-Wham Rap.

Joanna and Phil.

There's quite a few. I don't know what people will say. We're going to go for Last Christmas.

Last Christmas. We have Wham Rap and Last Christmas.

Gavin and Louise with Wham Rap first.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Very good.

-11!

-APPLAUSE

Joanna and Phil, Last Christmas.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said that.

-31.

-APPLAUSE

So that point goes to Gavin and Louise. After the second question, it is 1-1. Richard.

How many top 40 singles do you think Wham! had in their career?

-Blooming millions.

-Ten. Just ten.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Just ten top 40 singles. They split up quite soon.

-Oh, that's true.

Let's take a look at all ten. One of them is a pointless answer.

If anybody at home, I doubt this very much, said Club Fantastic Megamix...

LAUGHTER ..that's a pointless answer.

The Edge Of Heaven/Where Did Your Heart Go? was a number one single, would've got three.

Young Guns (Go For It) would've scored three points.

Bad Boys, four. Freedom, five.

Wham Rap with 11. I'm Your Man, 13. Club Tropicana, drinks are free,

fun and sunshine, et cetera, would've scored you 28.

Last Christmas, 31. Didn't get to number one, Last Christmas.

And Wake My Up Before You Go Go was the most popular of all, 47 points.

Very good. Here is your third question.

Whoever wins this point is in the final

with a chance to play for £5,000, just so you know.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Victorian prime ministers as they could. Richard.

There were ten British prime ministers during the reign of Queen Victoria,

including the prime minister at the time of her accession and the time of her death. Who is the most obscure?

OK. And it's Joanna and Phil to answer first this time.

OK, do you have an answer?

Yeah. It's a bit of a difficult one, so we're going to take a stab at Benjamin Disraeli.

Benjamin Disraeli. OK.

Gavin and Louise.

We really don't... History again.

We keep getting ones with history.

-Go for it.

-Let's go for it.

-Lord Asquith.

-Lord Asquith. OK.

So we have Disraeli from Joanna and Phil.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Benjamin Disraeli.

It's right.

-27.

-APPLAUSE

Gavin and Louise, you're going out with a bit of a punt on Lord Asquith.

-How confident are you?

-Not very.

-Not at all.

-William Gladstone's going to be similar to Disraeli, so we thought we'd take a stab.

-OK.

That's how to do it. Let's hope it pays off for you. Lord Asquith.

Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

Oh! Bad luck, Gavin and Louise. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

so the point goes to Joanna and Phil.

After the third question, Joanna and Phil are through to the final. Richard.

Really tough luck. Herbert Asquith was prime minister from 1908, so not in Victorian times.

There's ten answers but only one is pointless. So the public know as much about Victorian prime ministers

as they do about Wham! That's good news, for the Victorian Society, at least, if not Wham!

Let's take a look. The Earl of Aberdeen was the only pointless answer.

The Earl of Derby would've scored you two points, as would Lord Russell, Lord Rosebury and Lord Salisbury.

Two points each. Sir Robert Peel and Lord Melbourne, four points each.

Then Lord Palmerston, 10. Disraeli, 27.

And if you had said Gladstone, you still would've lost, as you suspected. 31 points.

OK, thanks, Richard. The losing pair at the end of the head to head, I'm afraid, is Gavin and Louise.

Dear, oh, dear. You haven't done badly at all. You've been in the head to head twice.

-Mm.

-You've made it this far, so fantastic contestants.

Who's going to be watching you at home? Who's cheering you on?

The children will be sitting there and our older son, who's at university doing marine biology,

is going to rip me to shreds over chemical symbols.

-Really?

-Yes.

-And how much, frankly, does he know about Wham!?

-Not a lot.

-There you are.

Anyway, you've been wonderful contestants. Lovely having you on the show. Thanks for playing.

APPLAUSE

For Joanna and Phil, it's now time for our Pointless final and the chance to win £5,000.

Congratulations, Joanna and Phil. You fought off the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

Now, though, you have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot. The jackpot stands at £5,000.

-AUDIENCE: Oooh!

-The rules are very simple.

To win that money, find a pointless answer that no-one could think of.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today. Find one now and you go home with that money.

First you have to choose a category. Here are your three options to choose from.

Capital cities, transport or screen sirens.

Can we not do transport, please? You want to do transport, don't you?

-I like transport.

-I know.

-Gets you from place to place.

-He likes cars lots.

-You call it.

-Then I can blame you.

-We'll go with transport.

THEY LAUGH

I like what you've done there, Joanna. Brilliant.

Joanna's called it for Phil. Transport it is. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many London Underground stations in Zone 1 as they could. Richard.

Yeah, a really tricky one. We're looking for any London Underground station in Zone 1

on the official Transport for London tube map of 2010.

Right. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win £5,000 is for one answers to be pointless. Your 60 seconds start now.

-Zone 1 must be outskirts.

-No, Zone 1 is inner.

-In the middle? Are you sure?

-Yeah.

OK.

Well, there's things like Elephant and Castle. Is that in the middle?

-I'm not sure.

-Erm, there's...

-Albert Square.

-Covent Garden. Albert Square!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Was it lines or was it...

-Stations. Covent Garden.

-Erm...

-20 seconds left.

-So we'll go for Covent Garden, Elephant and Castle and Victoria?

-Yeah, just go for those.

-OK, you have three answers.

-Yeah.

-Oh, dear, it sounds like...

-Not a good one for us.

-Sounds like it hasn't been a good one for you.

-Screen sirens, please.

OK, so your three answers are

-Victoria, Elephant and Castle and...

-Covent Garden.

-Covent Garden.

OK, which of those do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-None of the above.

-SHE LAUGHS

-You're not interested what order they go in.

-Not particularly.

We'll put Covent Garden first.

Elephant and Castle and Victoria. There they are.

We were looking for Underground stations in Zone 1.

This is your first crack at the jackpot.

It needs to be pointless for you to win that money. Covent Garden.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Down it goes.

Into the 20s. Into the teens!

Nine!

Oh, well. At least it wasn't wrong

It wasn't wrong. Nine's a very respectable score.

Sadly, it's not pointless. Nine people said Covent Garden, so it's not pointless.

You've got two shots left at today's jackpot.

OK, we are looking for Zone 1 Underground stations. Let's hope nobody said your next answer.

This has to be pointless to win the jackpot. Elephant and Castle.

Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

This for £5,000.

It's correct.

It's a correct answer.

I would have thought a considerably less well-known station. Down it goes.

This for £5,000! Ohh!

Oh-ho!

-Wow.

-That is annoying.

That's really annoying, isn't it?

-Oh, yeah.

-Two people knew that!

-So who'll be watching this at home?

-I would imagine everybody, all the work colleagues, all the family,

-all the friends.

-They're all looking in the back of the A to Z now.

-Shouting expletives at us.

-Expletives? I was thinking maybe names of Underground stations,

but maybe expletives. Anyway, this is your final answer.

Victoria. This has to be pointless. Please can it be pointless?

For £5,000, let's hope it is correct and let's hope nobody said it. Victoria.

It's right.

Down it goes, into the 30s. All the way down will win you £5,000.

APPLAUSE

Well done, anyway.

Unfortunately, you came so close, but you didn't manage to find that crucial pointless answer

so you don't win today's jackpot. That rolls over to the next show.

But you have been amazing and you do get to take home our wonderful Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

Oh! Richard.

Yeah, tough luck. There's some real stinkers behind those categories sometimes.

But Elephant and Castle was very close to a pointless answer.

There were nine pointless answers. Let's take a look at some of them.

Well done if you got any of those without looking at an A to Z.

Well, unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Joanna and Phil.

You've been fantastic. Thank you for playing. Brilliant contestants.

APPLAUSE

So nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over again. On the next show, we'll be playing for £6,000.

-AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

-Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-So it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd