Episode 34 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello.

I'm Alexander Armstrong and this is Pointless, the show where

the lower the points, the higher the chance of winning.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Peter and Adam. You're our first pair today. How do you know each other?

I had the pleasure of living with Pete when we were both students at the University of Southampton.

What a burr. You have a burr, Adam. A burr. I've just heard it there!

-Where's that burr from?

-I'm from Cheltenham.

-Cheltenham. And Peter, where are you from?

-Yeovil.

Oh, my goodness. The West Country.

There we have them, represented fully here in our first pair.

Well, very best of luck to you this afternoon.

Hope you have a fantastic time. Welcome, Suzi and Robbie.

How do you two know each other?

We're brother and sister. So I've known her all my life - well,

-apart from three years of it.

-Apart from three years of it.

So...you're the older one, all right, I had to work that one out.

I am sharp as a tack.

What are you going to be like as a team? Are you fiercely competitive?

Yes.

-Who is the more competitive? I think you are, Suzi.

-Yeah.

-Definitely.

-I'm definitely the more competitive but I'm just going to be

egging Robbie on, cos he's the brains behind the operation.

-I'm the driving force.

-You're the driving force but with actually not much up top.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah!

-Anyway, well,

very, very best of luck to you this afternoon.

And we welcome Hannah and Antoinette to the show.

-How do you know each other?

-We met on exchange at university in Canada three years ago.

Wow. You did a year each, did you, out in Canada?

-I did a year.

-I did six months.

-You did six months.

-Had to leave.

-Which six months?

-It was August to December.

-The winter.

-Winter.

She left before it got really bad. She abandoned me.

"Really bad"! It turned into The Shining out there!

Well, best of luck to you on the show.

And Les and Marie, welcome back.

Of course, everyone gets two shots at the Pointless final.

This is your second and final shot at it. Remind us how you did.

We got to the head-to-head, but we're here again.

-We'll give it our best.

-You did very, very well.

I don't think we saw you at your best.

I think maybe we'll see you all the way through to the final. Who knows?

There is just one more person for me to introduce.

He's the man whose brain is a shrine to obscurity.

-He is my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hello.

APPLAUSE

Only one returning pair today. Of course, that's Les and Marie.

They did rather well last time. And Les is a police officer.

We like having officers on the show in case of fights and we do have the occasional ruck.

-Don't we? And that's just us.

-Oh, do you remember episode 17?

-Dear, oh, dear!

-But welcome along to the other three pairs.

Quite a tough second question today, I think. Sounds easy,

but I think it's actually very hard. Nice first question, tough second question, today.

-Sounds easy, but is in fact very, very hard.

-Correct.

-Like myself.

Hard as you like.

I remember when you killed that bear...

honestly, with one punch.

TITTERS

That's right.

Little koala.

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear. We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

but this is Pointless, so we are after the obscure answers that they didn't get.

To stay in with a chance of winning our jackpot, our players must score

as few points as possible, but what everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £2,000. There it is.

APPLAUSE

Let's play Pointless.

So in the first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever team has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

Do be careful, because if anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

they will score the maximum of 100 points.

OK. Our first category this afternoon is...

Geography.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Right. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

countries with Z in their name as they could.

Countries with Z in their names. Richard.

Yeah. This is where I really step up and earn my money.

We're looking for any country

whose common English name has a Z in it.

As always, by country, we mean a member of the UN

-that is a sovereign state.

-Right. Peter and Adam.

You all drew lots before the show. Today, you get to go first.

Adam, you're going to be kicking us off here.

What are your hobbies, Adam?

I'm interested in lots of things to do with the Far East, so China and Japan.

-Have you been out there?

-Yes. I lived in China for a year.

-Oh, right. Do you speak Mandarin?

Not really, no.

That's such a shame.

-LAUGHTER

-That is such a shame. What were you doing there?

I was teaching English at university.

-So there are some people out in China who speak English with a lovely Western tang.

-I hope so.

-A little burr there.

-Yeah. I hope so.

-How's your geography, Adam?

-Pretty good.

-Off the top of your head, how good is your knowledge

of countries with Z in their name?

-I will go for Uzbekistan.

-Uzbekistan.

-(That was the one I was going to go for.)

-Oh, no.

Suzi's just said, "That's what I was going to go for!"

Uzbekistan. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

Let's see how many people said Uzbekistan.

It's good.

Brilliant answer, Adam.

Into single figures there.

Nine points.

APPLAUSE

-Uzbekistan.

-Yeah. Very good start to the show.

It's in central Asia, just north of Afghanistan, and it's got a Z

-just after the U.

-Just before the B. Yeah. Just between the U and the B.

Good score, Adam.

Suzi, you had one, it's been taken from you.

Probably stolen from me.

Yeah. Yeah. That's going to happen all the way through this game,

right the way back to you, Peter.

-Yep. OK. Are you well travelled, Suzi?

-Yeah.

-I've been to a few places. I've been to one with Z in the name.

-Really?

-But I'm not sure it'll be obscure enough.

-Ah, yes. I see, yes.

So I'm going to try a different one.

-Right. What's it going to be?

-So, I'm going to try Venezuela.

Venezuela. OK. You're hoping to score as few points as possible with Venezuela.

We are looking for countries with Z in the name.

Let's see how many people said Venezuela.

But it's right.

Very good. Down it goes. 21.

APPLAUSE

21 for Venezuela, Richard.

Yeah, well played, Suzi.

Its full name is actually the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela.

-Did you know that?

-I never knew that.

There you go. It's still got a Z in it.

Z just in there after the E and before the U.

Very good answer there, Suzi,

-you also having a Z in your name there.

-Yeah.

-Apparently. Hannah.

-Hi.

-Now then.

-Yes.

I know you're well travelled.

-You studied abroad.

-Well.

He's taught abroad. You've studied abroad.

Suzi's just been to a couple of countries with Z in their name.

Can you call to mind several countries with Z?

-I can think of one. I'm not sure of the pronunciation cos the spelling's even worse.

-Sounds good.

-It sounds obscure.

-"I'm not sure of the pronunciation." It's going to be obscure.

Kyrgyzstan. Or something like that.

Very good. Kyrgyzstan. Kyrgyzstan. It's another of those stans.

Plenty of them. Basically just go up to Afghanistan, turn left,

they're all there, can't miss them. Kyrgyzstan.

You're hoping it has a Z in it. I think it does.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible. Let's see how many people said Kyrgyzstan.

Could be a nice low score here.

It's right.

Down it goes. Oh, Hannah, very good!

APPLAUSE

-Kyrgyzstan, scoring you just the one point.

-Yeah. A fantastic answer.

Another central Asian republic. We've been having a lot of fun

saying whether Zs are in names of countries, haven't we?

-Yeah.

-You know, mucking about, the Z in Uzbekistan.

-Remind me again, where's the Z in Kyrgyzstan?

-Yeah.

What letters do you imagine that's between?

Yeah, cos I know there's a Y in there.

The question is, are there two Ys?

Kyrgyzstan. I think it goes between

the Y and the S.

-That's exactly where it goes.

-Y, Z, S. It slips in there.

APPLAUSE

Very good answer. Now then, Les.

I actually volunteered for this category,

so hopefully I might get one right.

-Very, very good. Maybe, Les, you might score a pointless answer.

-Possibly.

-You might find the pointless answer.

-I don't think... Not with this one.

Really? Really? Have you got several at your fingers' ends?

-I've got a couple I can think of.

-That's good.

What are you going to give us?

-Zaire.

-Zaire, or Za-ire, I like to call it.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It was so obscure it was wrong as it turns out. Zaire. Zaire.

Unfortunately it's a wrong answer which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

Richard. Richard.

Yeah. Sorry, Les. Zaire has not been Zaire for quite some while.

It's the Democratic Republic Of Congo now,

which, however you spell it, doesn't have a Z in it.

You need the Democratic Republic Of Zongo.

Z instead of C.

OK. Well, we're halfway through the round so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Pretty wide ranging scoreboard.

Les and Marie there on 100.

Marie, you're going to have to pull a nice

United Nations sovereign state with a Z in its name out of the bag.

Hannah and Antoinette, wonderful answer there. Lovely answer.

One from Kyrgyzstan.

Uzbekistan, nice low score for Adam. And Suzi, Venezuela not bad either.

So yes, Marie, I'm afraid you're the one who has got a mountain to climb.

Right. We're going to come down the line. Can the second players please

take their places at the podium?

OK. We are looking for countries with Z in their name.

And I am absolutely garbage in geography.

Oh, no, are you?

Yeah. However, I will have a stab at...

Tanzania.

-Tanzania. Have you travelled widely, Marie?

-Not to Tanzania.

Not to Tanzania. OK.

You don't get a red line because you are the highest scorers.

You have to hope Tanzania's going to score you as little as possible.

Let's see if it's right and if it is let's see how many people said it. Tanzania.

It's right.

Well, that's not terrible.

APPLAUSE

That scores you 19, taking your total up to 119. Richard.

Yeah. Tanzania - not a bad answer at all.

OK. Thank you very much, Richard.

-Antoinette.

-Yes.

-Antoinette, Hannah scored you just one point.

-She did do very well.

-That means it doesn't matter what you say,

doesn't matter, you are through to the next round.

You'll never overtake Marie and Les and their high score of 119.

So, go as obscure as you possibly can, safe in the knowledge that

you can't be kicked off the show.

OK. In that case, I'm not sure it's correct, but I will try Tajikistan.

Tajikistan.

-Yeah.

-If that is correct, Richard's going to ask me where the Z is, and I'm going to... Tajikistan.

Yes. It's got lots of good letters in there.

-Hopefully a Z.

-Is there a Z?

It's one of those countries that does sound like someone's just lent on the typewriter, doesn't it?

TITTERS

But which bit of the typewriter?

OK. Tajikistan. Is it correct?

Doesn't matter what you score. There's no red line for you.

You're through, come what may.

Let's see how many people said Tajikistan and if it is a correct answer.

Bad luck. Unfortunately, Tajikistan is incorrect, which means you score the maximum of 100 points,

but thank God I don't have to spell it. Takes your total up to 101 but that's safe.

You're through to the next round. Richard.

No Z in it, but it was absolutely worth a go. It's got Js and Ks.

It's got three Qs, a couple of Xs.

But no Zs.

It's just outside Swansea, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-That's right. Yes.

-LAUGHTER

OK. Now, Robbie, you are on 21.

You have to score 97 or less with this answer.

I haven't ever been outside of Europe, actually, but I used to

work for a travel company

-and I like maps as well.

-Very, very good.

Did people ever come to you and say, "I think next year, we'd like to go somewhere with a Z in it?"

-No.

-Shame.

There's a whole new opening for travel agents, guys.

Think about it.

I'm going to go for Mozambique.

Mozambique. Look at that. OK. There is your red line.

If Mozambique gets you below that red line you are through to the next round

and we will, I'm afraid, be saying goodbye to Marie and Les.

Mozambique, let's see if it's right and how many people said it if it is.

There we are.

Good answer. Scores you 12, taking your total up to 33.

APPLAUSE

Very good indeed. Richard.

Yeah. Very well played, Robbie.

It's a former Portuguese colony in South East Africa.

Bad luck, Marie and Les.

Peter and Adam, you are on nine.

Great answer from Adam. Uzbekistan.

Peter, doesn't matter what happens now. You are through come what may.

You'll never overtake that high score of 119, but

why not add £250 to the jackpot by finding a pointless answer?

Countries with Z in their name.

I'm trying to think.

I'm torn between one that's near all the 'stans that has a Z in it,

but if your 100 people with their

100 seconds whom you asked, if they went through the map in their head,

then I should go for this one that's not near any of the other countries.

I'm going to go with the one that's not near anywhere else.

I'm going to say Belize.

Belize. Let's see how it did.

Well, it is correct.

A great answer.

Oh, look at that, Peter. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Belize scores you four, taking your total up to 13. Richard?

Yeah. Very well played and about as far from Kyrgyzstan as you can get in central America.

-What was the other one you were going to...?

-Azerbaijan.

Azerbaijan actually would have scored you more points. Nine points.

Good reasoning.

Belize, of course, the Z just sneaks in between the I and the E.

-It's between the I and the E, just two from the end.

-That's right.

Let's take a look at...

there were actually no pointless answers here at all.

The very best answer you could have given us was the one Hannah gave us, Kyrgyzstan,

which scored one point, so very well done.

And the second best answer is actually Belize, which Peter just gave us,

equal with, let's take a look at the other low scoring one, which was

Bosnia and Herzegovina, which also would have scored you four points.

There are some - actually, the Czech Republic only scored six points. Very, very low scoring.

There's all sorts of other ones in there - Brazil.

Let's take a look at the three biggest answers.

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

In third, New Zealand with 35.

Now, the top two are the only two countries in the world that begin with Z.

Do you want to have a little hazard at what those two are?

Zimbabwe and Zambia.

Correct. So New Zealand, 35, and then we've got Zimbabwe, 55,

and right at the top there, Zambia, with 58.

Very good. OK. Thanks, Richard. So at the end of round one,

the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid it's Les and Marie.

So then, on that long journey home, back to County Durham,

who's going to carry the can for this?

Nobody. We're a team, definitely.

-Well said, Marie.

-That's why I love her.

-I wish I believed you.

-LAUGHTER

Oh, no, very good. Well, it's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm so sorry. I thought you were going to go through to the final. I don't know. Well, very best of luck.

Thank you very much for playing. You've been fantastic contestants.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Now, obviously, there's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head

so one team is going to be leaving at the end of this round.

OK. The category for round two is...

-Animation. Decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

-Up to you.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. So the question is...

In this round, we're about to show you the names of some characters

and the animated films in which they appear. We gave 100 people

100 seconds to tell us which actors provided their voices.

-Richard.

-Yeah. We're going to give you the name of six characters in each pass.

The more obscure answer will score you the fewer points.

If you give us a wrong answer at any point, you'll score 100 points, so be very careful.

OK. Thanks very much, Richard. The first six are...

Let me read those again.

OK. We are looking for the actors that voiced these animated characters.

-Adam, are you a fan of cartoons?

-I'm a fan of Japanese animation.

Oh, really? This is the highbrow end of cartoons.

-Yes.

-A manga cartoon.

-Manga, yes.

-These aren't really playing to your strengths, are they?

I think I'll go for the genie in Aladdin.

-Robin Williams.

-Robin Williams.

Very good. Let's see if that's correct.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Robin Williams voicing the genie in Aladdin.

It's right.

-22. Not a bad score, actually, 22. Richard?

-Yeah. Well played, Adam.

During the recording of it, Robin Williams improvised so much

that Disney had 16 hours' worth of material.

Thank you very much, Richard. So then, Robbie.

Robbie, we are looking for the actors that voiced these famous animated characters behind me.

-Right.

-Do you know your cartoons?

-I know three of them.

One of them's gone. So it's a choice between the other two,

really - which one I think's going to be less known.

So I'm going to go for Rocky in Chicken Run, who was voiced by Mel Gibson.

OK. You are saying Rocky in Chicken Run, voiced by Mel Gibson.

Let's see if that's correct and if it is, let's see how many people knew that.

It's right.

-Good answer, Robbie. That scores you 20.

-Yeah. Well played, Robbie.

It was because of Chicken Run not getting nominated for an Oscar

when lots of people thought it should have been

-that they introduced the best animated feature - they introduced it the following year.

-Really?

Now, Antoinette. Antoinette, see, I think you know all of this.

You know every single voice character there, don't you?

Honestly, I wish I did.

But luckily I only knew two and only one of them have gone.

So I'm going to go for Woody in Toy Story.

-And it is voiced by?

-Tom Hanks.

-Tom Hanks. Have you seen Toy Story 3?

-I have.

-Did you cry?

-I only choked up a little. I was on the verge of tears.

-OK.

Well, let's see if that is right. Woody being voiced by Tom Hanks.

Let's see how many people knew that answer.

It is correct.

33. 33 people knew that answer. Richard?

I cried when I went to watch the most recent one. £4.60 for a tub of popcorn!

LAUGHTER

It is a lovely film though. They're all lovely films.

Shall we go through the rest of the board? I've seen every single one of these,

as anybody with children will have done. You'll see anything that's animated.

-Scar in The Lion King, who do you think that is?

-Jeremy Irons.

It is Jeremy Irons - would have scored five points.

-Rita in Flushed Away.

-Kate Winslet.

Yeah. That would have scored two points - another good answer.

Now, Mr Woolensworth in Chicken Little is a Pointless answer

so very well done if you got it. Who do you think voiced Mr Woolensworth?

-Patrick Stewart.

-Patrick Stewart, exactly right.

Very well done if you got that at home.

We're halfway through so let's look at the scores.

They're very close. Look at that for grouping.

Peter and Adam in the middle ground there, at 22.

Robbie and Suzi, 20. Great answer there from Robbie.

33, not a bad score for Hannah and Antoinette either,

but you are the front runners so Hannah, you have to

look for a really obscure answer on the next pass.

Are you confident you can do that?

-I hope so.

-So do I. OK. We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We'll put six more characters and the animated films in which they appear on the board.

And here they are.

Second six reads like this.

I'll just read those one more time.

We're looking for the actors that voiced these characters

and you're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

So, Hannah, you are on 33.

You are the high scorers in what has been a pretty low-scoring round.

You have to score as low as you can to survive for the head-to-head.

I know a few of those. I think I'm going to go for Charles Muntz in Up

cos I sobbed my way through the first five minutes and my pizza was cold.

-Got quite salty.

-Yeah. Probably. So I think that was Christopher Plummer.

Christopher Plummer. Charles Muntz. Let's see if that is correct.

No red line as you're the high scorers.

Let's see if Christopher Plummer is correct for Mr Muntz

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Very good answer, Hannah.

It's exactly what we needed from you. That scored you two,

takes your total up to a nice low 35.

-Let's hope it's low enough.

-Great answer from Hannah.

It's the first film nominated for best animated feature AND best film.

OK. Suzi, you are on 20.

If you can score 14 or less, you are through to the head-to-head.

How good is your knowledge of animated films and their casts?

Well, I've seen five out of six of the films,

so I can hear all the voices in my head.

But I only know two of them.

It's probably the most obvious two.

So I'm going to have to just hope that my knowledge

is better than Peter and Adam's.

I'm going to go for Mr Fox in Fantastic Mr Fox

who I think was George Clooney.

Mr Fox in Fantastic Mr Fox.

George Clooney. OK.

You're hoping to score as little as possible.

There is your red line.

Below that, you are definitely through to the next round.

Let's see if George Clooney did indeed voice Mr Fox

And if he did, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

Down it comes. 23 that scores you, taking your total up to 43.

Yes. A pretty good answer. Based on the Roald Dahl book.

-Have you seen it?

-No, not yet.

-It's really good.

OK. Now, Peter, 22 is your score at the moment.

If you can score 20 or less with this,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Now, that doesn't look like the expression of a very confident man.

No, maybe it does.

Are you weighing up between two obscure answers?

-Yes.

-Good.

-Well...

-Good. Well, you talk us through the board.

You're the last person to have this board so talk us through it.

I think everyone knows Eddie Murphy was Donkey in Shrek

-so I'm not saying that.

-OK.

Dory in Finding Nemo, I suspect it might have been Lisa Kudrow

but I'm not sure so I'm going to say King Louis in the Jungle Book

voiced by Louis Armstrong.

OK. Here's your red line coming in.

If King Louis being voiced by Louis Armstrong gets you below that,

you are through to the next round.

Is that correct, though? And if it is, how many people said it?

You're going to kick yourself.

Louis Armstrong did not voice King Louis in the Jungle Book.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points, taking your total up to 122.

It's great news for Suzi and Robbie.

Tragic news for Peter and Adam. Richard.

It was a Louis and the incredible thing is, Louis Prima

was the voice of King Louis.

And not only that, it would have been a Pointless answer as well

so well done at home if you got that, would have added £250 to the jackpot.

If you'd said Lisa Kudrow instead, for Dory in Finding Nemo,

you'd also have scored 100 points cos it was Ellen DeGeneres for Dory.

That would have scored you six.

Donkey in Shrek, as you rightly said, that's Eddie Murphy.

Would have scored a pretty hefty 55.

And do you know RJ in Over The Hedge?

Never even heard of Over The Hedge.

Over The Hedge. Again, I've seen that as well.

It was originally going to be Jim Carey but in the end

it was Bruce Willis, so well done, those who said Bruce Willis, it would have scored you five.

OK. Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score is Peter and Adam.

Oh, dear, you went out on the right kind of a limb there,

just the wrong Louis.

Did Louis Armstrong at least sing the songs?

No, he didn't.

-No. That's Louis Prima.

-No. It was Louis Prima.

What have you learnt from your time on Pointless?

Everyone gets two shots at the Pointless final so you will be back.

What are the lessons you take away from today?

I've learnt that Louis Prima, and not Louis Armstrong,

was the voice of King Louis in the Jungle Book.

That's the only lesson you needed to learn. And it's a good one.

It'll set you up for life. Thanks for playing.

Sorry to say goodbye to you so early but we will see you next time

-but thanks so much. Great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things are about to get more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

So well done Suzi and Robbie, Hannah and Antoinette, you've made it through to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it through to today's final

and play for the jackpot which currently stands at £2,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Indeed. Now, you're going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

You are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is come up with an answer that scores less than the opposing pair to win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be through to the final

and be playing for that jackpot. OK. Let's play Pointless.

And here is your first question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

-Richard.

-Looking for any of the original gang of four who left the Labour party to form the SDP in 1981.

OK. Suzi and Robbie, because you played best throughout the show so far, you get to answer first.

THEY CONFER

OK. Robbie, have you got an answer?

Yes. I've got an answer. Really don't know this one.

-What answer are you going to give me, Robbie?

-Neil Kinnock.

OK. You're saying Neil Kinnock.

Haven't got a clue on this one.

-Hannah and Antoinette.

-I did study politics.

However, the SDP did not come up.

No! That wasn't on your syllabus.

No. I will go back to my university and complain.

-I don't know, let's see what answer you give.

-I'm in your hands. I know nothing.

I don't think it's correct but I'm sure the SDP and the Liberal party merged.

So I will just pick someone who I know was a member of the Liberal Democrats, so Paddy Ashdown.

OK. Paddy Ashdown.

We have Neil Kinnock. We have Paddy Ashdown.

Let's see if Neil Kinnock is correct.

No. Didn't think it would be.

I'm afraid he never left the Labour party.

Paddy Ashdown, say Hannah and Antoinette.

Let's see if that is correct and if so, how many people said it.

He never left the Lib Dems. Richard.

Yeah. Did you read British politics, Antoinette?

No. I did focus on international, so the Middle East, North America.

You're going to love question two.

Not really. Don't panic.

Let's take a look at all four. Anyone who's ever done a politics degree

will be screaming the answers at the screen now.

Let's take a look right at the bottom of the list with two points is Bill Rodgers.

Then Roy Jenkins would have scored you five points.

David Owen of course went on to lead the party on 14.

And Shirley Williams at the top there with 18.

-Those four, have you heard of any of those, Antoinette?

-Shirley Williams.

She'll be glad to hear it.

OK. After our first question, it is 0-0.

Here's your second question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Richard.

We're looking for the most popular classic authors whose books have been around for at least 50 years.

There are ten names on the list. There are ten classic authors whose

books were borrowed more than J R R Tolkien's during the period July 2008 to 2009.

Essentially, we're looking for the most borrowed books from libraries

of authors who've been around for over 50 years.

So the most popular classic authors.

-And you say Tolkien cos he was number 11.

-Yeah. Tolkien was number 11 on the list.

And this is according to the Public Lending Right Registrar.

OK.

From lending libraries across the UK.

Hannah and Antoinette, you get to go first this time.

OK.

OK.

I can think of an author but I don't know whether he's obscure enough,

or she's obscure enough I should say, or whether people liked the books.

So I'm going to say Richmal Crompton.

-Richmal Crompton.

-Yeah.

OK. Suzi and Robbie, you can talk out loud if you like.

-I think we should go for a fairly obvious one.

-That's true.

Maybe like George Eliot or something like that.

-George Eliot.

-Needs to be obscure but it needs to be right.

-Jane Austen.

-OK. Let's do that. All right.

We're going to go for Jane Austen.

-Play it safe.

-Jane Austen.

-OK.

-OK. We have Richmal Crompton, we have Jane Austen.

Richmal Crompton, let's hear that one first.

That was Hannah and Antoinette's answer.

Let's see if it's correct.

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck.

An incorrect answer. Suzi and Robbie have said Jane Austen.

This merely has to be correct. Doesn't matter how many said it.

Jane Austen, let's see if that's right.

It's right. That wins you the point.

13.

A correct answer and a very good low score.

After our second question, it is one-nil to Suzi and Robbie. Richard.

Let's take a look at the whole top ten.

There's some surprising names, but some very familiar ones as well.

Beatrix Potter is a Pointless answer, right down the bottom,

as is PG Wodehouse, Georgette Heyer.

And Daphne Du Maurier. All of those were Pointless answers.

Agatha Christie, of course, she would have scored you two points.

CS Lewis. Enid Blyton, there she is.

Ten points, would have won the points. Roald Dahl there, four.

Enid Blyton, ten. Jane Austen, 13.

-Charles Dickens top of the list on 21.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Here is your third question.

Hannah and Antoinette, you have to win this point to stay in the game.

Suzi and Robbie, if you win this you are through to the final

and the chance to play for that jackpot.

Here is your third question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

-Robbie's delighted with that. Richard.

-Nothing to add there.

Just any of the six words that make up the acronym TARDIS.

OK. Suzi and Robbie, you to go first.

Take your pick.

OK.

-OK, Robbie.

-OK.

We're going to go for 'relative'.

Relative. OK. We have 'relative' from Suzi and Robbie.

Hannah and Antoinette, you can do your thinking out loud if you like.

The only one I can think of is T which I'm assuming stands for time?

Oh, I don't know. We've only got that answer so we have to make that up.

-Yeah.

-Time.

OK. Suzi and Robbie have gone with 'relative'.

Let's see if that's correct

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Relative.

Well, it is correct. 35.

Hannah and Antoinette have gone for 'time'.

Let's see if that's correct and how many people said that.

This will decide possibly, if Suzi and Robbie go on to the final

or if you stay in the game.

Time is right.

46, I'm afraid though.

So after three questions,

Suzi and Robbie are through to the final, two-nil. Richard.

Yeah. 'Relative' a good answer and 'time' a very good guess.

There was one answer that would have beaten relative and that's the D.

-Do you know what the D is?

-Dimensions.

-Dimensions, exactly.

Let's take a look at all six of them.

And how they scored. Dimensions there with 32.

Relative - 35. In - 36.

Space - 39. And - 41.

Time right at the top there with 46.

And if you did it in that order it would be called a TASIRD

not the TARDIS.

Arguably a better name for the thing but there we are.

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head I'm afraid is Hannah and Antoinette.

Dear, oh, dear.

-Not our finest hour.

-Politics.

I know. I will have to go and hang my head in shame

but I did do more international relations.

-Well, that's fine.

-Yeah.

You've done incredibly well. You've come through to the head-to-head.

What will you be taking away from your first Pointless experience?

That maybe my three years at uni wasn't well spent.

OK. Well, we will of course see you again next time

when maybe you'll make it all the way through to the final.

You've been fantastic contestants. Thanks so much for playing.

For Suzi and Robbie, it's time for our Pointless final and the chance to win £2,000.

Congratulations, Suzi and Robbie, you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy. Very well done.

That's what it's about.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

which at the end of this show is standing at...

There it is.

GASPING

The rules are simple.

To win all you have to do is to find a Pointless answer,

that's an answer no-one else could think of.

We haven't had any Pointless answers on the show today.

You have to find one now to go home with that money.

First though, you've got to choose a category

and here are your three options. You can go for...

-It's just too good to be true, isn't it, Suzi?

-It's awful.

Golf? Classical music? Reality TV?

We can rule reality TV out straight away, can't we?

Y... I don't know.

I think it's going to have to be classical music, isn't it?

OK. You're going to go for classical music.

-Best of a bad bunch.

-Best of a bad bunch.

Well, let's find out what the question is going to be.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Wow, there you are! ..As they could. Mozart operas. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any opera composed by Mozart,

either in its English title or in its original language.

We will not accept revisions, just the original Mozart operas.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,000

is for just one of those answers to be Pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

BOTH: Right...

-I can't really help.

-The Marriage Of Figaro he did.

-But that's probably his most well-known opera.

-OK.

Did he do one about soldiers?

I'm trying to think.

-I'm making that up.

-Mozart, what did he do?

Operas.

Anything to do with marching.

-They've quite often got march in the title, haven't they?

-I don't know.

I know a lot of Verdi operas and Puccini. Mozart, I don't know.

I listen to Mozart's... Not operas.

Yeah.

Um...

Can we ask our dad?

There's your minute. Your minute is up. OK.

So I want three answers from you.

-OK. We're going to say Marriage of Figaro.

-Marriage of Figaro.

-Merchant of Lyon.

-Merchant of Lyon.

I don't know why that's in my head.

And we need one more.

Random.

Love And Tragedy cos that's what all operas are about.

-OK.

-You never know.

-Love And Tragedy.

OK. We were looking for Mozart operas.

Let's put them up on the board.

OK, it is your first answer.

The Marriage of Figaro.

You only need one of these answers to be Pointless to win that £2,000.

Let's see if The Marriage Of Figaro is correct.

If it is, let's see how many people said it. The Marriage Of Figaro.

Is right.

Obviously this has to go all the way down to zero

if you're going to win that £2,000 jackpot.

Marriage Of Figaro. Down into the 20s, into the teens.

GROANING

11.

Sadly that's not a Pointless answer, Marriage Of Figaro.

You have two shots left.

The Merchant of Lyon you have said. Let's see if that's correct.

It's your second shot at the jackpot.

GROANING

-Wow.

-Bad luck.

That's not a correct answer, so I'm afraid not a Pointless answer.

Now your third and final shot at this is complete...

This was a complete punt really.

..Punt.

Oh, well, let's just test it.

Love And Tragedy. We're looking for Mozart operas.

Love And Tragedy is your third answer.

Let's see if this is a correct answer

and if it is, let's see if anyone said it. Love And Tragedy.

This for the jackpot of £2,000.

No.

Bad luck.

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that Pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000

which rolls over to the next show, but you have been fantastic

and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

So, Richard, what are the operas they should have gone for?

I don't think the Merchant of Lyon exists anywhere.

I don't think it does.

It may have been somebody you met in a pub or something.

-Singing at the time!

-Exactly. And Love And Tragedy as well.

Obviously it's worth a guess. As you say, it is what most opera is about.

There were a whole bunch of Pointless answers,

so let's take a look at them.

We just needed two and we would have been all right.

Ascanio in Alba.

Mithridates, the King of Pontus.

-You're kicking yourself now, aren't you?

-Yeah.

Scipio's Dream was a Pointless answer.

Oh! The Goose of Cairo!

Robbie, the Goose of Cairo! Of course!

So many geese there as well.

That cheeky, naughty little goose,

and his little pals, his little woodland pals.

Hiding in the Pyramids.

Exactly. Just playing on the Sphinx.

-The Impresario.

-Impresario.

And La Finta Semplice. All of those were Pointless answers.

Very well done if you got some of those at home.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, but it's been great having you on the show.

-Thanks so much for playing. Thank you.

-Thank you.

So nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over,

which means on the next show we'll be playing for...

GASPING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

If you want to be on the next series of Pointless,

you can find out more by going to -

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