Episode 35 Pointless


Episode 35

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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You're very kind, and thank you. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong and this is Pointless,

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the quiz show where obscurity counts for everything and high scores count for nothing.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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So we start by welcoming back Hannah and Antoinette.

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Everyone gets two shots at the Pointless final and this is your second and final shot.

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-Remind us how you did last time.

-We did quite well.

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-We got to round three.

-You did.

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-The head-to-head.

-Yes.

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You covered yourself in politics, that's what you covered yourself in, Antoinette.

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-Yes.

-That's all right.

-What was your degree?

-International Relations and Politics.

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-And what was the thing you didn't know the answer to?

-The SDP.

-Yeah.

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-But, you know...

-Oh, well.

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-Technically, Hannah should have known since that's history as well.

-Oh, great. Thanks.

-Exactly.

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-Exactly, Hannah.

-Blame shared.

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Yeah. Blame shared.

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-No, you'd forgotten all about that until I brought it up just now.

-Yes.

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OK. And welcome to Moira and Maddie. How do you two know each other?

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Hello. We're sisters. Maddie's my older sister.

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Older sister. And where have you come from?

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-Banbury in Oxfordshire.

-From Banbury in Oxfordshire.

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Now, one of you two was on the winning team of Crufts.

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-Yes. That's me.

-Right.

-Yes.

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-Fantastic. Dogs is very much your thing.

-We do dog agility.

-How many dogs have you got between you?

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-Eight.

-Eight.

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Who's looking after them now?

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Husbands.

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Well, very best of luck to you this afternoon.

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And welcome back to Peter and Adam. You were also on the show last time. Remind us how you did.

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Well, we got to the second round and it was my fault.

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I was very, very confident, and it turned out that my confidence was misplaced,

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-so I'm here to rectify that today.

-Very good. Adam, you forgiven him?

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Not quite, unfortunately.

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OK. Well, very best of luck. And finally we've got Ian and Roy.

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-How do you two know each other?

-We're former colleagues. We met 15 years ago.

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What were you doing 15 years ago together?

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I was in sales, and Ian was the finance director.

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Well, very best of luck to you and welcome to the show.

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We'll find out more about all of you as the show goes on. There is just one more person for me to introduce.

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He is a man who is a walking hard drive of obscure data.

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-He is my Pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

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APPLAUSE

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A walking hard drive of data.

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-That doesn't sound good, does it? That sounds sort of arrestable.

-Doesn't it?

-Yeah.

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-At least.

-But also, since when I do walk on this show?

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We've done like 90 something, and no-one's ever seen my legs.

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-Yeah.

-Apart from you. You can see them.

-I can see them.

-That's why you look distracted sometimes.

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What sort of show have we got?

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Two returning pairs today. It's very important to have teamwork.

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I asked Hannah and Antoinette, "How are you going to get on?"

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Hannah said, "Out in the first round," and Antoinette said, "We'll win."

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So I suspect they'll lose somewhere in between the second and third round.

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But I think question one might favour the older pairs, and you know who you are.

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Intriguing. Right, we've put our questions to 100 people before the show,

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but we are after the obscure answers they didn't get.

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To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot our players need to score as few points as they can,

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but what everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer,

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an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

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And every time that happens, if it happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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Now, nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

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so today's jackpot starts off at £3,000.

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APPLAUSE

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Yes, indeed. Let's play Pointless.

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Now, in the first round each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer with your partner.

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Whichever team has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

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OK. Our first category this afternoon is...

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Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Beano characters as they could.

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Beano characters, Richard.

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Yeah. All the correct answers in this round will have featured in their own strip in the Beano comic.

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OK.

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Right. Hannah and Antoinette, you all drew lots before the show, and today you get to go first.

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Now, in this round, we're going to give you a choice of seven possible answers on the board in each pass.

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The first set of seven answers reads like this.

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Let me just read those again.

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Now, I can tell you that there is at least one pointless answer on that board.

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There is also at least one incorrect answer.

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Say an incorrect answer and you will score the maximum of 100 points.

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-Now, Antoinette, you were grinning then.

-With fear.

-Really?

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-Yes. Sadly I didn't read the Beano.

-You didn't read the Beano?

-No.

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But I'm going to take a guess.

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Lord Snooty.

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-Lord Snooty. Have you heard of Lord Snooty?

-No.

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This is a complete shot in the dark.

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OK. Well, we are looking for Beano characters.

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Antoinette is saying Lord Snooty.

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Let's see if that's correct, and if it is, let's see how many people said Lord Snooty.

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It's right.

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That's a fantastic answer, Antoinette. Well done.

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Scores you nine.

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-Richard.

-Yeah. Very good way to start, Antoinette.

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He appeared in the first ever edition of the Beano, 1938.

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His full name is Lord Marmaduke of Bunkerton.

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-Maddie.

-Hello.

-Maddie, did you ever read the Beano?

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No. I read Bunty.

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-Not much help, eh?

-Not much help, but do any of the things there sound likely?

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Yes. But they might have been in something else.

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-OK.

-Oh, dear.

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I'm going to go for Calamity James.

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Calamity James. OK. Calamity James.

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Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Calamity James as a Beano character.

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It's right.

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Brilliant! A brilliant answer.

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Calamity James scores you one.

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-Richard.

-Yeah. Strip of a boy with disastrous luck.

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Calamity James, first appeared in 1986.

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Thanks, Richard. Now, Adam, we're looking for Beano characters.

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-I did read the Beano when I was a kid.

-There we are.

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And I was 100% sure of Calamity James until it was just said,

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so now I'm going to have to play safe with the Bash Street Kids.

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OK. We've had scores of nine and one.

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Adam is going for the Bash Street Kids. Let's see if that's a correct answer.

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If it is, let's see if any of our 100 people didn't say the Bash Street Kids.

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It's right.

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31. That's not a terrible score, actually.

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Not a terrible score at all. Richard.

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A quite surprisingly low score, one of the better known strips in the Beano.

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Cloak, Toots, Smiffy, Fatty, Spotty, various others. The kids of Class 2B.

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Is it 2B or not 2B?

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Oh, it was 2B. It was 2B.

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-LAUGHTER

-Very good.

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Thank you very much, Richard. Well, we are looking for Beano characters.

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Ian, you are the last person to have this selection.

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-There is still at least one pointless answer on that board.

-I've got a bit of a dilemma now.

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Well, on the basis that the Dennis answer's probably going to be quite high-scoring anyway,

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I might as well have a bit of a punt at one of the others.

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I did read the Beano, but it was so long ago. I've got a faint recollection for Irma Gobb.

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I'm not really sure why, but I think on balance I'll have a go for Irma Gobb.

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Irma Gobb.

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It's a pretty name(!)

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Irma Gobb. Let's see if that's correct, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

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Irma Gobb. If this is right, I suspect it goes a long way down.

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Bad luck. Unfortunately, Irma Gobb is an incorrect answer,

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which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

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Bad luck, Ian. Sorry.

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Yeah. Tough luck, Ian. You've got to take a chance every now and again.

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Irma Gobb is actually Mr Bean's sort of on-off girlfriend in the films and the animated shows.

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Let's look at the rest, see what perhaps you should have said.

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Obviously, Dennis The Menace is a high scorer, would have scored 71 points.

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Billy The Cat, crime-fighting boy, used to help the police catch crooks.

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Yeah, that would have scored you one point.

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And Tom Thumb is a pointless answer.

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Well done if you said Tom Thumb, about a six inch boy.

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Thank you, Richard. Let's look at the scores.

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We're halfway through the round.

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Well, we've covered pretty much all the bases,

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from Moira and Maddie on a fantastic one point there.

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Maddie, brilliant, brilliant answer from you.

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All the way up, I'm afraid, to Ian and Roy on 100. Ian, bad luck.

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We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

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OK. We're going to put another seven answers up on the board.

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We're looking for Beano characters. Our next seven reads like this.

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Let me read those again.

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And again, I can tell you that at least one of those answers is pointless,

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and also at least one of those answers is incorrect, so try and avoid those incorrect ones.

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-Now then, Roy, you're on 100. You're way out in front there.

-Thank you.

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But if you can find a pointless answer and someone else maybe scores 100,

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you might still be with us next round.

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-That's the plan.

-Did you read the Beano?

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I did, but many, many years ago.

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Do you remember anything about the Beano?

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The obvious answers, yeah, which are not going to help us this round.

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Not going to help you this round, no.

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Again, I'm going to have to take a risk, I think, one that's, I think, maybe right.

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I'm going to go with Baby Face Finlayson.

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Baby Face Finlayson. Do you remember Baby Face Finlayson?

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Rings a bell, but I'm not sure again if it's the right comic. I don't know, it's a guess.

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-Maybe it's from the Dandy?

-HE SPITS

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Anyway, let's find out. You're on 100. There's no red line for you.

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You've got to hope you score as low as possible.

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Let's see if Baby Face Finlayson is correct, and if it is,

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let's see how many people said it. Baby Face Finlayson.

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It's right.

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Going to go quite a long way down.

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Oh, Roy, well done.

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It's not quite a Pointless, but it's almost. That scores you one.

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Takes your total up to 101. Richard.

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Yeah. Great answer. He was a Wild West outlaw who just happened to be in a pram, happened to be a baby.

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Very good. Peter. So we are looking for Beano characters.

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You are on 31. If you can score 69 or less with this answer, you are through to the next round.

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69 or less. Do you read the Beano? Did you read the Beano?

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-I did. Yes.

-Do you remember lots of people from the Beano?

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I remember a celebration of the 2,000th issue or something,

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which had a copy of the first ever Beano's cover, which featured Big Eggo,

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so that's my answer. I think it'll do well.

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I think it'll do fantastically well. What do you think, Adam?

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-If he says so, yeah. That's fine.

-Well, there's your red line.

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If the Big Eggo gets you below that red line, you are in the next round.

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Let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it. The Big Eggo.

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It's right.

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You're through to the next round.

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Look at that!

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Very well done, Peter.

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That's a Pointless answer, it adds £250 to today's jackpot,

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taking the total up to £3,250,

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and it scores you nothing, giving you a total of 31.

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Very, very good answer, and as Peter rightly says, he was on the cover of the very, very first Beano.

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Was on the cover for ten years until he was ousted by Biffo The Bear.

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Very sad. Peter, thank you very much for that Pointless.

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I don't know why I'm thanking you,

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but on behalf of whoever wins that jackpot,

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you've just added 250 quid to it.

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Right, now, Moira. We are looking for Beano characters.

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You are on one,

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thanks to Maddie's fantastic answer in the first pass.

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There may well be another pointless answer on the board. There is definitely an incorrect answer.

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How good is your Beano knowledge?

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There's two that are familiar, but I don't know what comic they're from,

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so I'm going to say Minnie The Minx.

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Minnie The Minx.

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Here is your red line.

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Just below the pink line. If Minnie The Minx gets you below that, you are through to the next round.

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Minnie the Minx, let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

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It's right.

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There we are. 32. Not a bad answer at all.

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Takes your total up to 33.

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-Minnie the Minx.

-Yeah. Safely through.

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An eight-year-old girl warrior who loved beating up boys.

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-Good. OK.

-Nothing wrong with that.

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Nothing at all wrong with that.

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OK. Now then, Hannah, you are on nine.

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If you can score 91 or less, 91 or less, you're through to the next round.

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I read the Beano every week,

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and I had a big collection of it in the garage

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until my mum made me throw out a lot of them

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because it was taking over the garage.

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-She parked the car in there or something?

-Probably.

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So I'm not sure about Major Misunderstanding or Count Bezukhov.

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I've heard of Billy Whizz, but I'm not sure if that was the Dandy, so I'm going to say Roger The Dodger.

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Roger the Dodger. OK. That's what you're saying.

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There's your red line. If you come below that red line, you are through

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to the next round and we'll be saying goodbye to Roy and Ian.

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OK. Let's see if Roger The Dodger is right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

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It's right. It's good enough.

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Roger the Dodger. Very good score.

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Scores you seven and takes your total up to 16.

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-Richard.

-Yeah. Roger The Dodger.

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Sort of like a male Minnie The Minx in a lot of ways, wasn't he?

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And they appeared in the same year, actually, for the first time in 1953.

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Is he still around, Roger the Dodger?

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-Yeah, he is. He's still in the Beano.

-I bet he doesn't get slippered any more.

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-No. Probably doesn't, does he?

-No.

-No. He probably gets...

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Just encouraged.

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LAUGHTER

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Let's take a look at the rest.

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Billy Whizz, as Hannah says, actually is from the Beano, but would have been a fairly good 15.

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And out of those two, Alexander, do you think those are Beano characters or not Beano characters?

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-I think they're both from something else.

-You are quite right.

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Major Misunderstanding is from Viz, and Count Bezukhov is from Tolstoy's War And Peace.

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-There we are.

-Both of those are incorrect.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

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So the end of round one, the losing pair with the highest score is Ian and Roy.

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Dear oh dear oh dear. And you being Beano readers and everything.

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-Yeah. It's age.

-Yeah, I know.

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That's the trouble, isn't it? That's the trouble.

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You'll be coming back. Everyone gets two shots.

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What have you learnt, tactically, from your first all too brief appearance on Pointless?

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Not to trust him!

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Ah, well. Well, whatever you have learnt, I'm sure

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it will set you in very good stead for next time you're on the show.

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Anyway, you've been fantastic contestants. Sorry to say goodbye so soon, but thanks for playing.

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For the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

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It's time to find out which teams will be going to the head-to-head for the chance to reach the final.

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The category for round two is...

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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And the question is...

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LAUGHTER

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Yeah. Famous Williams.

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Obvious. In this round, we're about to show you some famous Williams.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to tell us their surnames.

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-Richard.

-Yeah. We're going to describe six different people, all of them called William.

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You've got to tell us what their surname is.

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Some of them are quite obscure, and those will score you very low points.

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-If you give us an incorrect answer you'll score 100 points.

-Good luck.

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First six Williams are...

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Let me read those Williams out one more time.

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OK. Hannah, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Williams.

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I should know the Oscar one but I don't,

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so I'm going to hope that my GCSE biology was OK,

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and say the physician who discovered blood circulation is William Harvey.

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William Harvey. OK. Blood circulation, William Harvey.

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Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

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It's right.

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Very good answer.

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That scores you three points.

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-Richard.

-Yeah. Great answer, Hannah. He first showed some of these things in 1628.

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He's the first person to work out that veins and arteries and things

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were one way, and the heart was pumping blood through the body.

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Very good. OK. Moira, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Williams.

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I'm going to go for the first Dr Who, William Hartnell.

0:19:580:20:02

William Hartnell.

0:20:020:20:04

First Dr Who. Let's hope that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew it.

0:20:040:20:08

William Hartnell.

0:20:080:20:10

40.

0:20:170:20:18

William Hartnell getting 40 there.

0:20:220:20:24

Yeah. Pretty big score. Lots of Dr Who fans out there.

0:20:240:20:26

He was the Doctor from 1963 to '66,

0:20:260:20:29

-and they've been getting progressively younger ever since.

-They sure have.

0:20:290:20:33

OK. Peter, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Williams.

0:20:330:20:37

What do you think?

0:20:370:20:39

Are any there that are jumping out at you?

0:20:390:20:42

I don't know the victor at the Battle Of Stirling Bridge, but the founder of Microsoft is obviously Bill Gates,

0:20:420:20:48

but that's probably quite a high-scoring one.

0:20:480:20:51

I didn't know the husband of Obama's first US Secretary Of State right away,

0:20:510:20:54

but that's Bill Clinton, so that's probably quite high as well.

0:20:540:20:58

So I'm going to have to go with the eight-time Oscar host and actor, Billy Crystal.

0:20:580:21:06

Billy Crystal, you are saying.

0:21:060:21:08

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Billy Crystal.

0:21:080:21:13

It is correct.

0:21:140:21:16

Good score. Look at that. Well done.

0:21:210:21:23

That scores you six.

0:21:230:21:27

-Billy Crystal.

-Yeah.

0:21:270:21:28

Very good score there from Peter, and he's been through most of these.

0:21:280:21:32

Founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, would have got you a fairly hefty 75.

0:21:320:21:37

And of course, Obama's first Secretary Of State is Hillary Clinton,

0:21:370:21:40

and her husband Bill would have got you 33.

0:21:400:21:43

-Now, do you know the victor at the Battle Of Stirling Bridge?

-Wallace.

0:21:430:21:46

William Wallace. Exactly right. 17 points.

0:21:460:21:49

OK. We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

0:21:490:21:53

Hannah, great answer there. Three points.

0:21:530:21:56

William Harvey. Fantastic.

0:21:560:21:58

Peter and Adam, another great score there. Nice bit of deduction.

0:21:580:22:01

Moira and Maddie, 40 isn't a bad score. It just is in this instance.

0:22:010:22:06

You are way ahead, 34 points ahead of your nearest rival.

0:22:060:22:13

Yes, I'm afraid, Maddie, the onus is on you in the second pass

0:22:130:22:16

to come up with as low a score as you possibly can.

0:22:160:22:18

Let's hope there are some that you know. We're going to come back down the line.

0:22:180:22:22

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

0:22:220:22:24

OK. We're going to put six more famous Williams on the board, and here they are.

0:22:280:22:32

Let me read those one more time.

0:22:550:22:58

Remember, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Williams,

0:23:140:23:17

and you are trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Now then, Adam,

0:23:170:23:21

-any of those Williams jumping out at you?

-Not really.

0:23:210:23:27

I'm struggling a lot in this round.

0:23:270:23:29

I may have to go for the most obvious answer of the whole round, because I don't know the other five.

0:23:290:23:36

-OK.

-Yes. So I will go for the playwright born in

0:23:360:23:40

Stratford-upon-Avon as William Shakespeare.

0:23:400:23:43

William Shakespeare.

0:23:430:23:44

You are on six at the moment. You want to be scoring 33 or less.

0:23:440:23:48

There is your red line. Below that you're through.

0:23:480:23:51

Above that red line, who knows.

0:23:510:23:54

OK. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said William Shakespeare.

0:23:540:23:59

It's a high score.

0:24:020:24:04

92 people. That scores you 92, takes your total up to 98. Richard.

0:24:040:24:08

Yes. Sort of quite a reassuringly high score that, isn't it, although not for Adam, I do accept that.

0:24:080:24:15

Right, Maddie, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Williams.

0:24:150:24:20

You are on 40. You were the high scorers.

0:24:200:24:22

You now have to score 57 or less. 57 or less with this answer and you are through to the head-to-head.

0:24:220:24:30

-Williams.

-Well, yes, sadly there's only one I know on there now.

0:24:300:24:35

So I'm hoping it won't get too many points,

0:24:350:24:40

and that's the writer of I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud,

0:24:400:24:43

and I think that's William Wordsworth.

0:24:430:24:46

There's your red line. If you come below that red line,

0:24:460:24:49

William Wordsworth will have got you through to the next round.

0:24:490:24:53

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

0:24:530:24:56

It's right.

0:24:590:25:01

Oh, and look at that, it just gets you through.

0:25:010:25:03

Very good. That scores you 50. Takes your total up to 90.

0:25:060:25:09

-Richard.

-Yes, a slightly less reassuringly low score there for Wordsworth.

0:25:090:25:13

-Yeah.

-50 points, half and half.

0:25:130:25:16

So then, Antoinette, you are on three. Thanks to Hannah's brilliant answer, William Harvey,

0:25:160:25:24

you have to score 94 or less to be through to the head-to-head.

0:25:240:25:28

Which sounds easy, but the only two that I was certain of have now gone.

0:25:280:25:36

Not surprisingly, I don't know the British PM.

0:25:390:25:42

No, why would you(?) It's not like you're a Politics graduate or anything.

0:25:420:25:46

International Relations. No, that's right.

0:25:460:25:51

So, I don't know the director of Ben-Hur.

0:25:510:25:56

I don't know TJ Hooker.

0:25:560:25:58

Now, the only William I can actually think of is William Shatner,

0:26:000:26:05

so hopefully he was the actor who played Dr Cliff Huxtable.

0:26:050:26:11

-OK.

-Long shot, I know.

0:26:130:26:15

William Shatner, Dr Cliff Huxtable.

0:26:150:26:19

Let's see if that's right.

0:26:190:26:21

Here is your red line. It's there.

0:26:210:26:26

Let's see if William Shatner is the answer you really wanted it to be,

0:26:260:26:30

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. William Shatner.

0:26:300:26:34

No. Bad luck, Antoinette.

0:26:370:26:39

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

0:26:390:26:41

It scores you 100 points, and it takes your total up to 103. Richard.

0:26:410:26:45

Antoinette, there's lots of different ways of getting wrong answers on this show,

0:26:450:26:49

and you've picked one of the more spectacular ones in that

0:26:490:26:53

you know there's an actor called William Shatner,

0:26:530:26:56

you've looked at the board that says the word actor, but it says the word actor down the bottom as well,

0:26:560:27:01

where it says actor/recording artist TJ Hooker, and that's William Shatner.

0:27:010:27:05

Oh!

0:27:050:27:07

So sorry, would have scored you 36 points and would have seen you into the next round. That is tough luck.

0:27:070:27:14

The actor who played Dr Cliff Huxtable is from the Cosby Show.

0:27:140:27:17

It's Bill Cosby, was Cliff Huxtable.

0:27:170:27:20

And the British PM who served four separate terms, why on earth a politics graduate would know that,

0:27:200:27:25

I don't know, it's an unfair question to ask you. It's, Alexander?

0:27:250:27:29

-Gladstone?

-William Gladstone, yep, would have scored you 13 points.

0:27:290:27:33

And the director of Ben-Hur?

0:27:330:27:36

I don't know.

0:27:360:27:37

William Wyler is the answer, and that would have scored you five points, so well done if you got that.

0:27:370:27:42

OK. Thanks, Richard. So at the end of round two

0:27:420:27:45

the losing pair with the highest score is Hannah and Antoinette.

0:27:450:27:50

-I thought you were through there.

-Halfway there.

0:27:500:27:53

We got Richard's prediction right of getting out in the middle.

0:27:530:27:56

Hannah, are you a seething mass of fury, or are you a forgiving kind of person?

0:27:560:28:00

Earlier we were doing a crossword and one of the answers was William Wyler,

0:28:000:28:04

but I'll forgive her, it's fine.

0:28:040:28:05

I suspect there'll be quite a few cross words between you.

0:28:050:28:10

No, it's fine.

0:28:100:28:11

-I'm not angry.

-Not angry.

0:28:110:28:13

-Can't be angry at her.

-No, you can't. You can't.

0:28:130:28:16

Well, I'm so sorry. This is your second and final chance on the show, so I'm afraid this time

0:28:160:28:20

it really is goodbye. It's been lovely having you on the show.

0:28:200:28:23

Thanks for playing. Great contestants.

0:28:230:28:25

APPLAUSE

0:28:250:28:28

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

0:28:280:28:35

Now, we've already said goodbye to two teams.

0:28:360:28:38

It's time to find out which of our remaining pairs will be playing for today's jackpot,

0:28:380:28:42

which currently stands at £3,250.

0:28:420:28:47

GASPING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:470:28:49

You're now going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions. You are now allowed to confer.

0:28:510:28:56

All you have to do each time is give an answer

0:28:560:28:59

that scores less than your opposing pair and you will win that question.

0:28:590:29:02

The first team to win two questions will be through to the final and be playing for today's jackpot.

0:29:020:29:08

OK. Let's play Pointless.

0:29:080:29:09

So here is your first question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:29:140:29:17

to name as many of Robin Hood's merry men as they could. Robin Hood's merry men.

0:29:170:29:24

-Richard.

-Yeah. We're looking for any of Robin Hood's ten merry men.

0:29:240:29:28

There is a merry woman as well but we won't accept her, just any of his ten merry men.

0:29:280:29:33

OK. Moira and Maddie, because you've played best throughout the show so far you get to go first.

0:29:330:29:38

So we are looking for Robin Hood's merry men.

0:29:380:29:42

I can think of some.

0:29:420:29:44

-Little John.

-Friar Tuck.

-A little bit obvious.

0:29:440:29:49

-Think of any that aren't so obvious.

-Allan A Dale.

0:29:490:29:54

I like that one.

0:29:540:29:56

-Yeah. Let's go for that that.

-I've never heard of it!

0:29:560:30:02

OK. Maddie's named one Moira's never heard of.

0:30:020:30:05

Allan A Dale.

0:30:060:30:07

Allan A Dale. Sounds like a sort of weekend Radio Two presenter.

0:30:070:30:12

LAUGHTER

0:30:120:30:14

OK. Peter and Adam, we are looking for one of Robin Hood's merry men.

0:30:140:30:19

Well, the only one I was thinking of, Will Scarlet.

0:30:190:30:22

I was thinking of Will Scarlet. Will Scarlet.

0:30:220:30:25

Will Scarlet. Peter and Adam say Will Scarlet. OK. Moira and Maddie said Allan A Dale.

0:30:250:30:30

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Allan-A-Dale.

0:30:300:30:35

-It's right!

-Never heard that one.

0:30:350:30:37

Never, never, never...

0:30:370:30:39

And Peter and Adam have gone for Will Scarlet.

0:30:460:30:50

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Will Scarlet.

0:30:500:30:54

33.

0:31:020:31:04

So after the first question, it is 1-0 to Moira and Maddie.

0:31:040:31:08

-Moira, you were saying you've never heard of it.

-No.

0:31:080:31:11

Think of it as Allan Airdale, and now you'll never forget it. Richard.

0:31:110:31:18

Yeah. Very good answer, Allan A Dale. And the merry woman is Ellen A Dale, as well.

0:31:190:31:23

Let's take a look at all of the list.

0:31:230:31:26

-Wat O' The Crabstaff.

-Wat, indeed.

0:31:260:31:29

Wat The Tinker, they used to call him.

0:31:290:31:31

He was a pointless answer. Very well done if you got him.

0:31:310:31:34

Will Scathelock, that was a pointless answer.

0:31:340:31:37

David Of Doncaster, he was one point.

0:31:370:31:39

Arthur A Bland, that's two points.

0:31:390:31:41

He's also known as Arthur The Tanner.

0:31:410:31:43

Will Stutely, that would have scored you two points.

0:31:430:31:46

Some of the better-known ones here.

0:31:460:31:48

Midge The Miller's Son would have scored you five.

0:31:480:31:50

Allan A Dale there with 12. Will Scarlet, 33.

0:31:500:31:52

And two big scores up the top there.

0:31:520:31:54

Friar Tuck with 54,

0:31:540:31:56

and Little John with 69.

0:31:560:31:58

OK. Peter and Adam, if you want to stay in this game, you have to get this point.

0:31:580:32:04

Moira and Maddie, you win this point, you are straight through to the final

0:32:040:32:08

and a chance to play for that £3,250. OK. Here is your second question.

0:32:080:32:12

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:32:120:32:18

Units of electricity. Richard.

0:32:180:32:22

We're looking for any of the many different terms to describe

0:32:220:32:26

units that measure the property of electricity in electrical circuits.

0:32:260:32:30

We will accept widely used basic and derived units,

0:32:300:32:33

but prefixes such as mega and milli won't be allowed,

0:32:330:32:36

so it's just the basic units of electricity that are widely used.

0:32:360:32:40

OK. Thanks, Richard. Peter and Adam, you are to go first this time.

0:32:400:32:44

I'm going to say the ohm, the unit of resistance.

0:32:510:32:56

OK. Ohm. Unit of resistance.

0:32:560:32:59

Moira and Maddie, you can talk out loud if you like.

0:32:590:33:02

It's over to Moira. I have no idea.

0:33:020:33:06

We've got amps, amperes, volts. We've got watts.

0:33:060:33:11

We've got possibly hertz, I don't know,

0:33:110:33:14

cos it would be megahertz, or would it be hertz? I don't know.

0:33:140:33:17

-Can you think of any more?

-No.

0:33:190:33:22

It's up to you.

0:33:220:33:24

I'd take a gamble and go for hertz.

0:33:260:33:30

OK. We have ohm and we have hertz.

0:33:300:33:34

Peter and Adam, you have to win this point to stay in the game.

0:33:340:33:38

Simple as that.

0:33:380:33:40

Peter and Adam said ohm. Let's see if that's correct, and if it is, let's see how many people said ohm.

0:33:400:33:45

It's right.

0:33:480:33:49

31.

0:33:530:33:55

So then, Moira and Maddie, you've taken a gamble. You've said hertz.

0:34:000:34:05

If this is right,

0:34:050:34:08

and it beats 31, you are through to the final.

0:34:080:34:12

Let's see if it's a right answer, and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Hertz.

0:34:120:34:16

Oh, hertz is good.

0:34:180:34:21

Yep. Wow. Look at that. 13.

0:34:250:34:27

A great answer as it turns out and after the second question,

0:34:310:34:34

Moira and Maddie are straight through to the final, 2-0. Richard, hertz.

0:34:340:34:38

Yeah. Very, very good answer. Sorry, Peter and Adam, you're going ohm.

0:34:380:34:42

LAUGHTER

0:34:420:34:45

There were some answers that would have beaten hertz, four pointless answers here as well.

0:34:450:34:49

Let's take a look at some of them.

0:34:490:34:51

There's the henry.

0:34:510:34:53

There's the farad, which is the metrical unit of electrical capacitance.

0:34:530:34:58

But henry's a unit of what?

0:34:580:35:00

I'll tell you what the henry is if you want to know.

0:35:000:35:02

-Do you know, I really don't, actually.

-Yeah.

0:35:020:35:05

It would take me a long time to read.

0:35:050:35:07

It's the unit of inductance equal to the self-inductance of a circuit

0:35:070:35:11

or the mutual inductance of two circuits

0:35:110:35:13

in which the variation of one ampere per second results in an induced electromotive force of one volt.

0:35:130:35:19

One volt, yes. That's right, yeah.

0:35:190:35:21

-Pretty much exactly what I thought it was.

-That's the henry.

0:35:210:35:24

The fara, there's the weber,

0:35:240:35:26

which is the SI unit of magnetic flux, of course.

0:35:260:35:29

The siemens, which is the metric unit of electrical conductance.

0:35:290:35:33

-Don't need to tell you that.

-No.

0:35:330:35:36

Very well done if you got any of those at home. All pointless answers.

0:35:360:35:39

The tesla would have scored you one.

0:35:390:35:41

The coulomb would have scored you three.

0:35:410:35:45

There's hertz on 13.

0:35:450:35:47

There's ohm on 31. Volt on 40.

0:35:470:35:50

Watt on 51.

0:35:500:35:52

And ampere, or amp, on 54.

0:35:520:35:55

OK. Thank you very much, Richard.

0:35:550:35:56

So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, it's Peter and Adam.

0:35:560:36:00

Peter and Adam, we just didn't have the categories that you knew.

0:36:000:36:04

No. It didn't go for us, didn't get what we wanted.

0:36:040:36:08

Who's going to carry the can for this?

0:36:080:36:11

No-one in this one.

0:36:110:36:12

We just got unfortunate.

0:36:120:36:15

You've done fantastically well at getting this far, but we have to say goodbye.

0:36:150:36:19

Only one pair can go through to our Pointless final,

0:36:190:36:22

but thanks very much for playing, Peter and Adam. Great contestants. Thank you.

0:36:220:36:26

But for Moira and Maddie, it's now time for our Pointless final and the chance to win £3,250.

0:36:260:36:31

So congratulations, Moira and Maddie, you've seen off all the competition and you have won

0:36:350:36:40

our coveted Pointless trophy. Well done.

0:36:400:36:42

APPLAUSE

0:36:470:36:50

Well, you now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:36:500:36:53

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,250.

0:36:530:36:58

GASPING AND APPLAUSE

0:36:580:37:01

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

0:37:010:37:04

That's an answer that no-one else could think of.

0:37:040:37:07

We have had one pointless answer today. You just have to find one more to go home with that money.

0:37:070:37:11

First though, you've got to choose a category, and you can choose from these three options.

0:37:110:37:16

We have golf, pop music and dog breeding.

0:37:160:37:22

No, I'm joking. I'm joking. And reality TV.

0:37:220:37:25

-Not golf.

-Discount golf straight away.

0:37:320:37:35

-But not music either.

-Reality TV.

0:37:350:37:38

-Shall we do reality TV?

-What are you better at?

0:37:380:37:41

-Probably reality TV.

-OK. Yeah. Yeah.

0:37:410:37:46

-Reality TV.

-Yeah.

-Through a process of elimination. OK.

0:37:460:37:49

Let's find out what the question is.

0:37:490:37:51

Good luck. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

0:37:510:37:55

as many celebrity Apprentices as they could.

0:37:550:38:02

Celebrity Apprentices. Richard.

0:38:020:38:04

Yeah. We're looking for any celebrity who's appeared on any of the Sports Relief or Comic Relief versions

0:38:040:38:10

of Celebrity Apprentice, prior to June 2010.

0:38:100:38:13

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers. All you need to win that £3,250

0:38:130:38:17

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:38:170:38:20

-Your 60 seconds start now.

-Any idea?

0:38:200:38:22

Can you think of anyone?

0:38:220:38:24

Did the Top Gear guys do it?

0:38:240:38:26

-Did they do it?

-No idea. I just remember seeing a lot of women, and they were arguing.

0:38:260:38:32

-Oh, what was her name?

-What was she in? What was she in?

0:38:320:38:36

I can't remember.

0:38:360:38:38

She stormed off.

0:38:400:38:41

Do you remember? She stormed off and they had to bring her back on again.

0:38:410:38:44

Oh, what was her name?

0:38:440:38:46

They made the cakes and the things to sell.

0:38:460:38:49

I can't remember any of this, to be honest.

0:38:490:38:52

I really can't remember any of it. 21 seconds. 21 seconds.

0:38:520:38:55

Three names. Abi Titchmarsh, shall we say somebody like that?

0:38:550:38:58

-Yeah.

-Abi Titchmarsh.

-Abi Titchmarsh.

0:38:580:39:00

-Say one of the ones off...

-Richard Hammond.

0:39:000:39:04

And think of a third one.

0:39:040:39:06

-Lenny Henry.

-Lenny Henry, yeah.

0:39:090:39:11

OK. Stop the clock. Right, you have three answers.

0:39:110:39:15

We are looking for celebrity Apprentices.

0:39:150:39:18

Now I need your three answers.

0:39:180:39:19

What are they?

0:39:190:39:21

Clearly, we have no idea.

0:39:210:39:23

-Abi Titchmarsh.

-Abi Titchmarsh.

0:39:230:39:26

-Lenny Henry.

-Lenny Henry.

0:39:260:39:28

-And Richard Hammond.

-And Richard Hammond.

0:39:280:39:33

If you had to pick one of those to be your most confident shot at the pointless answer, which would it be?

0:39:330:39:39

-Richard Hammond.

-Richard Hammond.

0:39:390:39:42

-Which is your least likely pointless?

-Lenny Henry.

0:39:420:39:45

OK. So let's put them up in reverse order of confidence.

0:39:450:39:50

OK. There they are on the board.

0:39:580:40:00

We were looking for celebrity Apprentices.

0:40:000:40:02

This was your least confident answer.

0:40:020:40:05

You only need one of these to be pointless to win that £3,250 jackpot.

0:40:050:40:09

Let's hope nobody said your first answer, Lenny Henry.

0:40:090:40:14

Lenny Henry, let's see if it's correct, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

0:40:140:40:19

Bad luck. Bad luck. Unfortunately, Lenny Henry is an incorrect answer so therefore not pointless.

0:40:220:40:28

You have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

0:40:280:40:32

We're looking for celebrity Apprentices.

0:40:320:40:35

You have said Abi Titchmarsh as your second answer.

0:40:350:40:39

Eat my hat.

0:40:390:40:41

Do you think she's related to Alan Titchmarsh?

0:40:410:40:46

Did we mean Titmuss?

0:40:460:40:47

SHE LAUGHS

0:40:470:40:50

-That's who we meant!

-I think you mean Abi Christmas.

0:40:500:40:55

LAUGHTER

0:40:550:40:57

OK. Abi Titchmarsh is what you said.

0:41:010:41:05

-I did.

-Let's see if that's a correct answer, and if it is, let's see how many people said

0:41:050:41:10

Abi Titchmarsh. For £3,250.

0:41:100:41:13

I'm hardly surprised!

0:41:160:41:18

Bad luck.

0:41:180:41:19

There's still Richard.

0:41:210:41:23

There's always Richard Hammond.

0:41:230:41:25

There he is. He's a small man.

0:41:250:41:29

Maybe didn't attract too much attention when the 100 people

0:41:290:41:33

were sitting down to rack their brains about celebrity Apprentices.

0:41:330:41:38

This is your last chance to win £3,250. What do you reckon?

0:41:380:41:41

-No! Red cross.

-Let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Richard Hammond.

0:41:410:41:48

Oh, no.

0:41:510:41:54

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

0:41:580:42:03

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,250, which rolls over to the next show,

0:42:030:42:07

but you have been fantastic, and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy.

0:42:070:42:11

APPLAUSE

0:42:110:42:13

-Have you now remembered who it was?

-I've remembered one.

-Who?

0:42:150:42:19

The girl out of Birds Of A Feather.

0:42:190:42:21

-You haven't remembered it then, have you?

-I can't remember her name.

0:42:210:42:24

I know someone who knows all these things. Richard.

0:42:240:42:27

Well, I think maybe the person who stormed out, was it Patsy Palmer you were thinking of?

0:42:270:42:31

-Yes.

-Stormed out, had rows with lots of the other...

0:42:310:42:35

-She had rows with everyone.

-She did a bit, yeah.

0:42:350:42:37

If you had said Patsy Palmer you would have won the money, because she was a pointless answer.

0:42:370:42:44

There are lots of pointless answers. Let's look at a few.

0:42:440:42:46

Cheryl Cole has been a celebrity Apprentice.

0:42:460:42:48

Rupert Everett, who left after one day. Lisa Snowdon.

0:42:480:42:54

Karren Brady, who's now Sir Alan's right-hand man. Patsy Palmer, there we go.

0:42:540:42:58

Nick Hancock, They Think It's All Over but there's another page to go.

0:42:580:43:02

Phil Tufnell was a pointless answer, as were Ross Kemp and Trinny Woodall.

0:43:020:43:07

Well, unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Moira and Maddie,

0:43:070:43:11

but you have been fantastic. Great fun having you on the show. Thanks so much for playing. Thank you.

0:43:110:43:17

So nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over again,

0:43:170:43:21

which means on the next show we'll be playing for £4,250.

0:43:210:43:24

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:43:240:43:28

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:280:43:30

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:300:43:32

If you want to be on the next series of Pointless,

0:43:330:43:36

you can find out more by going to...

0:43:360:43:41

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:43:410:43:44

E-mail [email protected]

0:43:440:43:47

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