Episode 25 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

Welcome back, Darren and Keith. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final and this is your second chance.

Remind us what happened, Darren.

Erm, well, we came across a question that is way before our time

and I had to end up guessing it and did quite well

and Keith knew a little bit but did quite awful.

LAUGHTER

-What do you do in your spare time, Darren?

-I am a football referee.

And this is something you voluntarily went into?

-Yes.

-Wow.

-Yeah, since 14.

-Seriously, had you always wanted to do that?

-Yeah, yeah.

I used to go out on the streets when I was about ten,

-blowing a whistle, pretending to know what I was doing.

-Blimey.

-How about you, Keith?

-Spare time?

-Yeah.

-Er...

-You don't really have it.

-No.

-You're a law student, aren't you?

-I'm reading books and whatnot.

-Exactly.

If law comes up this afternoon, I expect you'll be, er...

-Richard, change your mind.

-It never really has, has it?

-Not really.

There's a couple of refereeing questions but nothing on law.

Very good. Very best of luck to the pair of you.

And next we welcome Lesley and Ben. How do you know each other?

We ex-colleagues.

We worked together in a hospital and we've been friends ever since.

-Whose idea was it to come on Pointless?

-Mine.

-Lesley, he dragged you along.

-Yeah, yeah.

He hasn't got many friends.

What categories are you hoping are going to come up, Ben?

Entertainment, film, television, music.

Lesley, you nodded along to all of those. "Yes, yes."

The same, really. Yeah. Music.

If a sport question comes up...?

We're running.

-Yeah, we'd have to run away.

-That's never happened before.

I'm quite looking forward to that.

Very best of luck. Great having you here.

Next, we welcome Steve and Karen. How do you know each other?

Well, we're married, husband and wife.

We've been together for... We've been married four and half years

and before that, we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

It often... It's amazing.

It's so weird. That happens nearly all the time, doesn't it?

Blimey. And then before that, you probably didn't know each other.

Whoo!

-Steve, what are you hoping is going to come up?

-Entertainment, film, music...

-the usual mishmash.

-The usual mishmash.

Karen, anything else you're going to bring to the party?

-Erm, food and drink.

-I thought you said fruit and veg for a moment.

"Fruit and veg." "Oh, fruit and veg, yeah.

-"What?!"

-I'm really into them.

-Well, very good.

Oh, you're good on the slightly more obscure veg, then.

Best of luck to the pair of you. Great to have you here.

Finally, we welcome back Stephanie and Pamela.

You were on the show last time. How did you do?

We did quite well. We got through to the head-to-head

and then we were stumped on a question that we should have known better about - disco.

-And...

-Ottawan!

-..we should have gone through.

What categories would you like to come up, Stephanie?

-Science and nature.

-Science and nature.

-That would be nice.

Well, from what everyone else has said, you're going to clean up.

-Pamela, how about you?

-I'd like something on Australia.

I lived there for seven years, so that would be handy.

-Every so often, they do come up.

-Yeah. Fingers crossed.

We'll find out more about all of you through the show.

There's only one person left to introduce. He shuns popularity and celebrates obscurity,

-he is my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hiya.

-Hello there.

-Hello there, sir. How are you?

-Very well. How are you?

-I'm extremely well, thank you.

-Excellent.

It's a good show. Stephanie and Pamela were excellent last time,

so they'll want to go into the final.

We didn't see much of Darren and Keith.

Darren was unbelievably fluky.

He had a category he'd literally never heard of

-and then scored a pointless answer.

-Mm.

But I was just looking at the questions.

I don't want to give you bad news

but I looked at the first one, I thought, "Blimey, that's hard."

And then I looked at the second one and that's even harder.

-I mean, two tough questions to start with.

-Wow.

-Interesting, both of them, but tough.

-OK. But tough for everyone.

We put all our questions to 100 people before the show

but this is Pointless, so we are after the obscure answers that they didn't get.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at a dizzying £2,500.

WHOOPING

Very good. Let's play Pointless.

CHEERING

Now, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

then you will score the maximum of 100 points.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what this difficult question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many biggest selling artists of 2010 as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any artist or group

who had one of the top 40 best-selling albums of 2010.

Compilation albums don't count but greatest hits count.

So any artist who's had one of the top 40 best-selling albums

throughout the whole of 2010.

There are 35 names on the list

because some of these acts have had more than one of those albums

but they only count once.

And this is according to the Official Charts Company.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Darren and Keith.

I'm going to go for a definite... play a safe bet,

in the hope that Darren might get an obscure one.

Er, I'll go for Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. Pretty fair assumption.

You hope to score as few points as possible with her.

Let's see if Lady Gaga is correct

and if it is, how many people said Lady Gaga.

-20. That's not a bad score at all, Keith.

-I'm pleased with that.

Not a bad score at all.

-Lady Gaga, Richard.

-Well played, Keith.

Her album The Fame sold more than one million copies in 2010.

Very good, thank you. OK, now then, Lesley.

We are looking for the biggest selling artists of 2010.

-It's someone that's probably quite popular but...

-I'm guessing.

-..Justin Bieber.

-Justin Bieber.

Is Justin Bieber correct and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

That's a very, very good answer, Lesley.

Justin Bieber scores you just two points.

Well done, Lesley.

And if you've never heard of Justin Bieber at home, then I envy you.

-What a lovely state of affairs to be in.

-Ah!

Remember, we are looking for the biggest selling artists of 2010.

Steve, Steve. Something tells me you might be quite good at this.

-Do you follow the charts?

-Chart music isn't quite my thing.

-Right.

-I'm going to go with Kings Of Leon.

OK, you're hoping to score as few points as possible.

Let's see if that is a correct answer

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Kings Of Leon.

Well done.

Down it comes.

Oh, very, very well done.

Two points to you, there, Steve. A credit to you, sir.

-Richard.

-Well played, Steve.

Kings Of Leon have two albums in that list.

They had Come Around Sundown, which was a number one in 2010,

and their previous album, Only By The Night,

was still selling enough to be a top 40 album.

First released in 2008.

Now then, Stephanie. What are you thinking, Stephanie?

I've got two possibilities.

-Mm.

-And I'm going to have a bit of a punt and say Elbow.

-Elbow.

-Yes.

Let's see if Elbow is a correct answer

and if it is, let's see how many people said Elbow.

Bad luck, Stephanie.

Elbow is an incorrect answer

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Richard. Elbow.

-Yeah, unlucky, Stephanie.

Their big-selling album was The Seldom Seen Kid, released in 2008,

so it wasn't on the list for 2010, unfortunately.

OK, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the scores.

On two points, Steve and Karen,

Lesley and Ben,

looking absolutely rock solid.

A little bit ahead of them, Keith and Darren on 20

and then way out at the front of the pack, Stephanie and Pamela on 100.

Pamela, you know what you have to do.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, remember, we are looking for the biggest selling artists of 2010.

-Pamela?

-OK, erm...

-Do you follow the charts?

-I did do but I've...

-Did you in 2010?

No, not in the UK. I was in Australia at the time,

so I'm kind of a bit torn.

We're on the high score, so I'll really have to take a punt.

Were there any crossover stars from the Australian charts?

There was and one of the bands that I'm thinking of... But I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to punt for Rumer.

Rumer. Well, let's put that to the test.

No red line for you

because you're high scorers.

If that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right. Very well done, Pamela.

-Go on, go on, go on.

-Down it goes.

-Go on.

-Look at that!

-CHEERING

Very, very well done, Pamela. Rumer is a pointless answer.

It adds 250 quid to today's jackpot, taking the total up to:

and crucially, Pamela, it scores you nothing,

-leaving your total at 100.

-Yeah.

-Very well done indeed. Richard.

Well played, Pamela. Seasons Of My Soul.

It peaked at number three in November 2010

but one of the 40 best-selling albums.

Very good. Thanks very much, Richard.

So, remember, we are looking for the biggest selling artists of 2010.

Karen, we come to you.

The high scorers are Pamela and Stephanie on 100.

You are on two. If you can score 97 points or fewer,

you are through to the next round.

I think I'm going to go with Plan B.

Plan B. I think that might not be a bad answer.

OK. I love the way I give my opinion because I'm really down with...

As you can tell.

OK, there's your red line. You have to get below that red line.

Plan B, I hope, will take you there.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Plan B.

Very well done, Karen. That's brilliant.

-Very well done indeed!

-CHEERING

All the way down to zero. Plan B, another pointless answer.

That adds £250 to the jackpot,

taking the total up to:

and it scores you nothing, leaving your total at two.

-Richard.

-Very well played, Karen.

That's two pointless answers in a row. We've never had three, so no pressure, Ben.

The Plan B album, The Defamation Of Strickland Banks,

was the fifth-highest selling album of 2010 but a pointless answer.

Very good indeed. Thank you, Richard.

So, then, Ben, like Richard says, no pressure.

I don't think I'm going to get a pointless answer.

It sounds like you've got a good one, though.

I'm not really a chart music fan but my niece and nephew are

-and they'd kill me if I didn't get this one right.

-OK.

I'm going to go with my niece's favourite band, JLS.

Right you are. OK, well, there is your red line.

If JLS can take you down below that red line, you are through.

Let's see if JLS is right and if it is, how people said it.

It's right. You are through.

-18.

-Not too bad.

-APPLAUSE

We still haven't managed to get our three pointlesses in a row.

That scores you 18, taking your total up to 20. Richard.

Well played, Ben. Safe and sound.

They're another of the acts with two albums on the list,

their debut album, JLS, and Outta This World.

-"Owda"?

-Outta This World.

-O-U-T-A?

O-U-T-T-A. "Out of."

To give JLS their credit, in Outta This World,

they spelt both the words "this" and "world" correctly.

Remember, we are looking for the biggest-selling artists of 2010.

Now, then, Darren.

-Erm...

-The high scorers remain Pamela and Stephanie on 100 points.

If you can score 79 points or less, you're through to the next round.

Darren, I have a feeling you might be able to pluck a pointless.

I'm going to stick along the theme with reality and TV shows

and say Susan Boyle.

There is your red line, Darren.

Let's see if Susan Boyle, or SuBo to give her her full name...

can get you below there.

It's right. Well done, Darren. You are through to the next round.

Look at that! Four. Brilliant answer, Darren.

Very well done. It takes your total up to 24.

-Richard.

-Yeah, Susan Boyle. Well done, Darren.

She reached number one in the UK and the US

with her album, which was called The Gift

but probably should have been called Did You Keep The Receipt?

-What about some other answers?

-There's lots of low-scoring answers.

There's Mumford And Sons, Biffy Clyro.

Michael Buble had the second biggest selling album of the year.

The xx was a low-scoring one but there's lots of pointless ones.

Let's take a look.

Oasis, they had a "best of" in that year.

Glee Cast, AC/DC, who did the soundtrack to Iron Man 2,

they were pointless.

Bon Jovi. Plan B, we've already heard.

The Script, the Irish band, a big-selling album.

Gorillaz, Paolo Nutini, the Scottish singer,

and Rumer, which we heard from Pamela.

All of those were pointless.

Let's take a look at the worst answers, the most obvious answers.

We've heard number three from Keith, it was Lady Gaga.

Another artist with two albums in the list is Rihanna, 24,

and the best-selling album of 2010, Take That, with 38 points.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So at the end of round one, the losing pair, I'm sorry to say,

-it's Pamela and Stephanie, and that with a pointless answer.

-Yeah.

-And a brilliant pointless answer.

-Gutted.

From the Antipodes, from the other side of the world, you knew Rumer.

-Yeah. How good's that?

-Amazing.

-But you've been excellent. Thank you for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

Now, only two pairs can make it through to the head-to-head,

so one team will be leaving us at the end of this round.

OK, the category for this afternoon's second round is:

Decide who's going to go first and who's going to go second

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Our second round question concerns:

OK, we're about to show you the medical names of some conditions and ailments.

We asked 100 people to give us the names by which they are most commonly known.

Richard.

We're going to show you six medical names on each pass.

You need to tell us the ailment or condition that that refers to.

The more obscure ones will score you fewer points.

If you give an incorrect answer, you will score 100 points.

See how many of the 12 across the two passes you can get at home.

OK, thanks, Richard.

We're looking for the names by which these medical conditions and ailments are commonly known.

We have got on our list:

I'll read those again.

Keith, all that time in the law library reading your legal books

and it turns out it was medical texts you needed to be studying.

-I should be a doctor.

-I'll be the judge of that, based on your answer.

I recognise one in particular that I think might be low-scoring.

-Very good.

-But what I have as well...

-Not... That sounds bad.

-You have one of these conditions?

I think so, with what I'm going to say.

-OK, well, OK.

-It's perfectly harmless.

-Right, you are.

Again, I'll be the judge of that.

-I'm going to go for myopia...

-Yes.

..and I think that's short-sightedness.

Myopia, short-sightedness. Let's see if that's correct

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that myopia was short-sightedness

Very well done, Keith.

-51.

-APPLAUSE

Surprisingly high score, there, but it could be a lot worse, Keith. 51.

Yeah, short-sightedness or near-sightedness.

5 million people in Britain have that.

Sorry, 15 million.

No, 5 million.

Ben, we are looking for the more common names

for these conditions and ailments.

-Have you had any of these conditions?

-I have the bottom one.

hence the glasses.

-Oh, I see. Phew.

-Not the bottom one.

Sorry.

Do you know any of these conditions?

I think I might but I'm going to take a guess on one.

Myocardial infarction I'm going to guess is angina.

Myocardial infarction, angina.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Oh! Bad luck. Ben, I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

Yes, I suspect that may not be the only 100 points of the round.

I won't tell you what myocardial infarction is

-in case Steve wants to have a go at that question.

-Thanks, Richard.

Now, then, Steve. You're the last person to have this board,

so you can talk us through all of those conditions and ailments.

Myocardial, yeah, heart.

I thought possibly that was angina as well.

Tinea pedis. Ped, I'm thinking, possibly, foot,

-so is that athlete's foot?

-OK.

I'm wondering if varicella is varicose veins.

I've got no clue whatsoever about Daltonism

and I think hypertension might be cramp.

So I'm going to go... Mm, but I'm not certain.

I'm going for hypertension as cramp.

You're going for hypertension, cramp.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said hypertension was cramp.

Oh, bad luck. I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard?

Hypertension is high blood pressure, I'm afraid.

Sorry about that.

One of the make-up women earlier was saying you've got a tinea pedis.

-You should have gone for it, Steve. It is athlete's foot...

-Oh!

..and it would have scored you one point.

One point.

Myocardial infarction is the medical name for a heart attack.

It was fairly high scorer, though - 37.

-Varicella is what your son has currently.

-Chicken pox.

-Chicken pox.

That would have scored you six.

Daltonism is a pointless answer,

so well done at home if you said colour-blindness.

Daltonism is colour-blindness.

There it is there, in black and yellow.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Let's take a look at those scores.

On 51 points, Keith...

-I'm doing a bit better this time round.

-You were worried that 51 was a high score.

Little did you know.

Ben and Steve, well, two 100s,

so at least it's not just one of you way out ahead.

It just means the pressure is on Lesley and Karen,

so everything to play for in the next pass.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put six more medical conditions or ailments on the board.

Here they are.

Let me read those again.

We are looking for the names by which these ailments or conditions are better known,

more commonly known.

You want to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now then, Karen?

-I think I've got the one I'm going to say...

-OK.

..unless I'm very wrong.

But I'm going to say allergic rhinitis is hayfever.

OK, you're going to say that allergic rhinitis is hayfever.

-Do you suffer from hayfever?

-Well, I have it all year round.

-What?!

-I know. I'm allergic to everything.

-Your poor thing.

-Yes. It's a bit rubbish.

It's a lot rubbish. OK, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

You have no red line because you are the high scorers.

Very well done, anyway. It's right.

36, that scores you. It takes your total up to 136.

-Richard.

-I expect that's the first time hayfever's been of use to you.

You've got about a 20% chance of having hayfever if you're born in Britain.

-20%?

-It's very, very common, yeah.

Now, then, Lesley. We're looking for the more common names

of these medical conditions and ailments.

Lesley, this is the real contest here.

136 is Karen and Steve's high score.

You are on 100. You have to score 35 or less

to be through to the head-to-head.

Are there any you think you might know?

I'll go for the halitosis.

Is it bad breath?

Halitosis, bad breath, you're thinking.

OK, well, here is your red line.

If halitosis gets you below that red line,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said halitosis, bad breath.

It's right.

Oh! Bad luck, Lesley.

I'm afraid that scores you 66,

which takes your total up to an unbeatable 166 points.

-Richard?

-Yes, a very big score, 66,

which tells you a lot about the man who asked the questions of our 100 people, I think.

Now then, Darren.

Possibly... I couldn't even pronounce the bottom one.

Lateral epicondylitis.

I'll guess with that one, arthritis.

-Arthritis. Keith...

-I've no idea.

You heard Keith, his little er...

I heard lateral and thought, well, that's late

and old people have arthritis.

-It's late?

-That is my only logic.

Lateral epicondylitis.

Is that arthritis?

Let's see if it is and let's see how many people said it.

Ah, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

but it couldn't matter less, you are through to the head-to-head.

-Richard?

-It's actually tennis elbow, lateral epicondylitis,

named after the Greek tennis player, Demetrious Epicondylitis.

Not really.

Not really. Let's take a look at the rest of them.

Rubella is German measles.

Epistaxis is nosebleed.

Epi's taxis is also just round the corner from us. We use them a lot.

That would have scored you 8 points.

These are very difficult, I think, unless you've had them.

If you've had them you know the names.

And otalgia... Do you know otalgia?

-I don't know.

-Earache. Earache would have scored you ten points.

So the best answer was lateral epicondylitis.

Very well done if you got that at home,

unlucky if you've got it at home.

-LAUGHTER

-Thanks, Richard.

So at the end of round two, the pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid it's Lesley and Ben.

Bad luck, bad luck.

-Lesley, you knew everyone else's answers.

-Yeah.

It was just your own that was... that was a tough one.

Halitosis was a correct one

and myocardial infarction, I'm afraid was...

-You see, angina - they're closely related.

-Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry to be saying goodbye to you. You've been great.

-Thanks for playing.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

So, Steve and Karen, Darren and Keith,

you're through to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it to today's final

and play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Right, you're going head-to-head on the best of three questions.

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer

and you are now allowed to confer.

If your answer scores less than the other pair,

you will win that question.

The pair that gets the best of three will play for the jackpot.

Let's play Pointless.

OK, here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many:

OK, so Australia is 3 million square miles

and there are five countries in the world bigger than that.

You have to work out what they are and tell us the most obscure one.

See if you can work out all five at home.

By country, we mean a member of the UN that is a sovereign state.

Thank you very much, Richard.

OK, Steve and Karen, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

We are looking for countries larger than Australia.

THEY WHISPER

-We're going to say China.

-You're going to say China.

OK, Steve and Karen are going with China.

Darren and Keith, you can do your thinking out loud now.

China has gone.

It's a pretty good answer. Erm...

-We think we've got three, don't we?

-Yeah. We've got Russia, obviously.

Canada, United States...

-What's that fifth one?

-I don't know.

-Brazil might be a big one.

-Brazil?

I think it's worth a punt because I think China will be hard to beat.

-OK, yeah, sure.

-Brazil.

-You're going to say Brazil?

-Yeah.

OK, so we have China and we have Brazil.

Steve and Karen said China. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said China.

Well, it's right, unsurprisingly.

-72. Ooh.

-APPLAUSE

That's quite a high score, there.

How are you feeling about Brazil now?

-Are you happy with Brazil?

-No.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how people said Brazil.

It's right! And down it goes. Very good.

34 for Brazil.

Well, we are one question down and Darren and Keith are ahead, one-nil.

-Richard.

-Well played, Keith. A brave answer and a right answer.

Canada would have won it as well. Let's take a look at all five.

The largest country of all gets the most points -

Russia with 92.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, here is your second question.

Darren and Keith, if you win this question, you are through to the final.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Open All Hours actors

as they could.

Name any of the actors or actresses who appeared in ten or more episodes

of Open All Hours.

There are five names on the list.

OK. Now, then, Darren and Keith, you get to go first this time.

-Do you watch it?

-I've watched a few.

-You're ahead of me.

-I'm trying to think of the other one.

-Just go with one you know

that is correct.

I'm trying desperately to remember her name and I can't,

so I'm going to go for David Jason.

David Jason. OK, you're going to say David Jason.

Steve and Karen, you can do your thinking out loud now.

OK, there's the two obvious ones.

I trying to think if Kathy Staff was in Open All Hours...

-I don't think she was.

-..as a regular customer but I'm not 100% certain.

-I think you're onto something with Nurse Gladys Emmanuel.

-Nurse Gladys.

It's sitting in my brain somewhere that her name was Lynda Baron

and I'm reasonably certain enough to give it a punt.

Lynda Baron. So we have David Jason, we have Lynda Baron.

Darren and Keith said David Jason.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

-66.

-APPLAUSE

Well, it was right.

We wanted a right answer.

-Steve and Karen have gone for Lynda Baron. A bit of a punt?

-Mm.

But if it's right, it will go a long way down.

Lynda Baron. Is it right and how people said it?

Well done. It is right.

And it wins you that question.

-Down it goes. 16.

-APPLAUSE

Very well done, Steve and Karen.

So after two questions, it is one-all. Very exciting. Richard.

Yeah, again brave and correct. Well done, Steve.

Let's look at all five.

Barbara Flynn, the milk woman, and Stephanie Cole, Mrs Featherstone,

they both scored one point.

Lynda Baron with 16. David Jason - whatever happened to him? 66.

And Ronnie Barker at the top. 89.

That's a very big score. What a popular show that was.

Absolutely. Thanks, Richard. Here is your third question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Shakespearean towns and cities as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any town or city mentioned in the title of a Shakespearean play.

There are five plays that have a town or a city in its title.

See how many of those five you can get at home.

OK, thanks, Richard.

Now, Steve and Karen, you go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

-OK.

-Right, long shot.

But I know there's a play called Pericles, Prince Of Tyre

and I'm hoping that Tyre is a place and not...

I'm gonna hope that that's the name of a town or a city, so I'm going with Tyre.

You're going with Tyre.

Darren and Keith?

Not big on our Shakespeare, if we're being honest.

We did it once for GCSE English but since then...

What was that? Macbeth?

-Macbeth. That's not even remotely helpful at all.

-Mick Beth?

Erm... We're going to have to guess something.

Hamlet is a person but possibly a town, maybe?

-I just cannot think of any...

-We'll just have to go with Hamlet.

Yeah. We're grasping at straws and going for Hamlet.

-Going for Hamlet.

-OK.

So we have Tyre and we have Hamlet.

OK, well, Steve and Karen went with Tyre. Pericles, Prince of Tyre.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

I think it could be an exceptional answer. Tyre.

Very well done. It is right.

Two!

Darren and Keith have gone for Hamlet.

LAUGHTER

-It's a kind of a place.

-It could be...

-But is it the name of a place?

-Probably not.

-No.

-Only one way to find out.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said Hamlet?

Bad luck! Bad luck.

So after three questions,

Steve and Karen are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Very good answer. Tyre was an ancient city of southern Lebanon.

Pericles, Prince Of Tyre. It's not in his First Folio.

He only wrote half of it, some scholars believe, but it's in modern collections.

-Did you know that?

-Pericles certainly is on the periphery, isn't it?

The other half was written by Roy Clarke, who later wrote Open All Hours.

Let's take a look at all five. I know some people will have got them all.

Pericles, Prince Of Tyre, two points. Merry Wives Of Windsor, six.

Timon Of Athens, ten. Two Gentlemen Of Verona, 25.

I feel like a Shakespearean bingo caller.

And Merchant Of Venice, 38!

LAUGHTER

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, it's Darren and Keith.

You did brilliant.

You came er... You came all the way through to the head-to-head.

With Brazil, I suddenly thought, "Ah, you see,"

and then, I'm afraid, David Jason, it was a correct answer

and it was before your time.

-And Shakespeare was before your time, too.

-Ah, yes, he was.

-Thanks so much for playing. Great contestants. Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for Steve and Karen, it's now time for our Pointless final

and the chance to win our jackpot of £3,000.

CHEERING

Well, congratulations, you've seen off the competition

to win our coveted Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

-Yes!

-Very, very good.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at:

WHOOPING

-That's for you.

-Mm.

Now, the rules are very simple.

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people thought of.

We've had two pointless answers today, consecutive pointless answers.

You only need to find one more now

and you will go home with that money.

First, though, you have got to choose a category

from these three options.

-Wildlife or soul singers.

-Wildlife or soul singers.

-Let's have a punt on wildlife.

-OK, wildlife, please.

OK, let's find out what that question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many British bats.

We're looking for any bat species found in the wild in the UK,

that's any resident species according to the Bat Conservation Trust,

as of the start of 2011.

There are 17 bat species which are resident in the UK

and we're looking for their English names rather than their Latin names,

if you were minded to give us the Latin names.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £3,000 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-OK.

-Do you know any bats?

-Fruit bat.

-Oh, excellent, good.

-One more than me.

-There's possibly a short-eared bat.

-I'm happy with that.

-By the same token, there could be a long-eared bat.

A long-eared one.

There's quite often tufted wildlife, so there could be a tufted bat.

These are all good. These are all good.

I know a fruit bat is a bat, at least.

It's likely to not be pointless, though, isn't it? I've heard of it.

No, I don't think it's pointless.

Tufted bat. We could just think what bats might be called.

Furry bat. Erm...

-I don't know...

-Smooth bat.

-Erm...

-Erm...

-So fruit bat we know is right...

-Shall we go long-eared?

We might as well go long-eared.

If there's a short-eared, maybe there's a long-eared.

Shall we do the ears and fruit, then?

-What, both ears?

-We might as well. We don't know any different.

-We'll do that.

-Five seconds left.

-We'll do that.

-OK.

-OK, we have our bats?

-Yes.

-We're going all the ears and fruits.

-All the ears and fruits.

-OK.

We're looking for British bats. I now need your three answers.

-Fruit bat.

-Fruit bat.

-Short-eared bat.

-Short-eared bat.

-And long-eared bat.

-OK, of those three,

which is your best punt at a pointless answer,

a correct pointless answer?

-Short-eared?

-Let's go short-eared as the best one.

-Which is your least likely?

-I'm not...

-Long-eared, we don't even know if it exists.

-Fruit, long-eared, short-eared.

-Yeah.

-That's fine.

That's the order. OK. Let's put them on the board like that.

OK, we were looking for British bats.

You said this was your least confident answer.

You only need one of these answers to be pointless to win that £3,000.

Let's see if your fruit bat is a correct answer

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Fruit bat.

-That's the one we thought was right.

-Bad luck.

Unfortunately, fruit bat is not a correct answer.

It's not a British bat. You only have two more bats.

£3,000. If one of those wins you the money,

what would you spend £3,000 on?

Erm, I'd quite like to go on holiday.

-Everyone says they'd go on holiday but we probably would.

-Very good.

Best of luck. Let's hope your next answer, long-eared bat, is pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

It has to be correct and has to go all the way down to zero.

Is it a correct answer? Is it a British bat?

-Bad luck. Bad luck.

-Not too much of a shock.

-Long-eared bat.

Mind you, a long-eared bat, it's just going to get in the way.

-It might get in the way of the sonar.

-Yeah.

-But short-eared is entirely possible.

-Maybe.

OK, you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Short-eared bat, at the bottom of your list.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

This was the answer you had the most faith in to be a pointless answer.

Let's see if your faith was well placed.

Short-eared bat.

-Bad luck!

-APPLAUSE

-Well, there should be one.

-Yes!

Bad luck. Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000, which now rolls over.

You have been fantastic contestants and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy. Well done.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-So, Richard?

-Yeah, unlucky, Steve and Karen.

You weren't so far away when you said long-eared bat.

-There's a brown long-eared bat...

-Oh, no!

-..which would have scored you two points.

-Oh.

-But there's a grey long-eared bat...

-Oh!

-..which was a pointless answer

and would have won you £3,000.

Let's take a look at all the pointless answers up here.

Daubenton's bat, that's a water bat

which takes insects off the surface of the water.

Greater horseshoe bat. There's the grey long-eared bat.

Leisler's bat, the lesser horseshoe bat

and Nathusius' pipistrelle, of course.

The Natterer's bat, the noctule and the soprano pipistrelle.

Those were pointless. Well done if you got any at home.

Well, very bad luck. We do have to say goodbye to you, Steve and Karen,

-but thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today, which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £4,000.

WHOOPING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd