Episode 4 Pointless


Episode 4

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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

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Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where popular answers mean nothing

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and obscure answers mean everything.

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Let's meet today's players.

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Welcome to Becky and Kay, you are our first pair on the show.

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-Kay, what do you do for a living?

-I'm a hula-hooper

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and I teach and perform with the hula-hoop.

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-You teach the hula hoop?

-Yes.

-How many hulas can you hoop?

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I can hoop about... Well, splitting them, three.

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Doing several at once, I've gone up to 12.

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-12?

-Yes.

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That's only two less than you can do.

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It is, yeah, exactly. Exactly two.

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-Becky, what do you do?

-I'm a part-time student,

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I'm doing a PhD in English literature.

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Very best of luck. Great to have you here.

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Enjoy yourselves this afternoon.

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Welcome back to Fiona and Simon. Remind us what happened last time.

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We went out at the end of the second round,

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thanks to me not giving the best answer in the world.

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Yes, David Beckham, as it turns out, was a footballer.

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What do you hope is going to come up, Fiona?

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Something literature or film or TV-related would be excellent.

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Are there any areas in which Simon might let you down?

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Er...geography.

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-Geography.

-Yes.

-OK.

-Hopeless, no sense of direction.

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Best of luck!

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OK! And we welcome Charles and Peter.

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How do you two know each other?

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My mother gave birth to him and then she gave birth to me.

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-Seconds later.

-An hour and five minutes later.

-Wow.

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-Are you identical? I'm trying to see...

-Yes.

-Identical-ish.

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Very decent of you, A, to grow those,

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-and B, not to dress identically.

-Yes.

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And C, to have your names on badges. Where are you from?

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-Yorkshire.

-Yes! I thought that might have been the answer.

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Very best of luck.

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Finally, we welcome back Uncle Ashley and Mel.

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You were on the show last time.

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We give everyone two shots at the Pointless final,

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this is your second and final chance. Remind us how you did.

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We got to the head-to-head, which looked quite promising,

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but my knowledge of ABBA didn't match up

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to two Liverpudlians' knowledge of Abba, so...we went out, I'm afraid.

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You went out, but you did fantastically well.

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It was very close indeed. We'll find out more about you all during the show.

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There's only one more person to introduce.

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He strikes fear into the heart of popularity,

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-he is my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya.

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APPLAUSE

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Surely striking fear into the heart of popularity

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-means I'm deeply unpopular?

-Yes.

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Great show today. We have two returning pairs.

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Ashley and Mel were terrific last time, they could go all the way.

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Fiona, Simon, I don't think we saw the best of you.

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I thought you were unlucky, but you're a good team.

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I used to be a hula-hoop teacher years ago.

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-So you did.

-But you have to jump through so many hoops in that job...

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I gave it up.

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Thanks, Richard.

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We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

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but this is Pointless, obviously, so we are after the obscure answers.

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The fewer people who got the answer, the fewer points awarded,

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the better your chance of winning.

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Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer,

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an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

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Each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

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No-one won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

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Today's jackpot starts off at a very high £8,250.

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That's a lot of hula hoops.

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Let's play Pointless.

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In the first round, each of you must give me one answer,

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and you cannot confer with your partner.

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The team with the highest score at the end will be eliminated.

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If anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

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they will score the maximum of 100 points.

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Our first category this afternoon is...

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Can you decide in your pairs who'll go first and who'll go second?

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds

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to name as many football teams' last names as they could.

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Football teams' last names, Richard?

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We want last word in the names of English League football teams.

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So if we wanted Scottish teams - Partick Thistle, we'd want "Thistle".

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Queen of the South, we'd look for "South".

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We want the last names of English League football teams.

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That's Premiership, Championship, League One and League Two,

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as at the start of the 2010/2011 season.

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So football teams' last names.

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OK, right, Becky and Kay, you all drew lots before the show

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and today you get to go first.

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So, Becky, football?

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Yes, it's obviously my favourite subject.

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It's the one we were least hoping for, basically.

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But have you ever found yourself just listening to the scores?

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Yes, because I have a dad and a brother,

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and they used to make me watch a lot of it.

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My brother used to make me play Subbuteo with him when I was a kid.

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I'm going to say Wanderers.

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-Wanderers. OK.

-As in Wickham.

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You say Wanderers. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Let's see if Wanderers is correct and how many people said it.

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Well, it's not bad, Becky, look at that.

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Really not bad at all!

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Well done, you. 22 points for Wanderers.

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-Wanderers, Richard.

-Very good start.

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There's three Wanderers in the league -

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Wolverhampton, Wickham and Bolton.

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Good score.

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Now then, Simon,

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dazzle us. This is your subject.

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I think I'll need to, I've got Fiona behind me!

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Football is not her forte, so I need a good one.

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I thought you meant, "I've got Fiona behind me, she'll kill me"!

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I'm going to go for...

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Orient, as in Leyton Orient.

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You're going for Orient, you're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Let's see how many people said Orient.

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Very good one, Simon, well done.

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Orient scores you two points.

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-Richard.

-Brilliant answer, Simon.

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Leyton Orient named after a shipping line way back when.

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Thanks very much. Now, Peter.

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-Yes.

-Remember we are looking for the last names of English football teams.

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-I refereed for long enough and I played.

-Did you?

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Semi-professional referee. Simon gave the answer I was going to give.

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-Thank you(!)

-No problem.

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-Athletic.

-Athletic.

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Very good indeed. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Let's see if anyone said it. Athletic.

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APPLAUSE

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Surprisingly popular choice there. That scores you 20. Richard.

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Very well played again. There are three athletics in the league.

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Do you want to have a go?

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-Charlton. Wigan.

-Yes, Charlton, Wigan, and...?

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-Go on, Peter.

-Don't ask me, he's got the laptop!

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LAUGHTER

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-Oldham.

-Exactly right, Oldham Athletic. Well done. Good answer.

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Thank you.

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Thank you, Richard. And so now Mel.

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We are looking for football teams' last names.

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Well, my one answer was gone and I don't want to go too obvious,

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but I'm going to have to.

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I'm going to go for County.

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Let's see how many people said County.

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Not bad at all!

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That's a brilliant answer, it turns out.

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County scores you only nine points. Richard.

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Very well played, Mel, that's a very good answer.

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There are three teams called County, but probably more obscure

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than Wanderers or Athletic. Do you want to have a go?

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-Notts.

-Notts, yeah.

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-Stockport and Derby, Stockport County and Derby County.

-There we are.

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OK, well, very, very well done, Mel. We're halfway through the round,

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so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

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Becky and Kay, 22.

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Really not a bad score at all,

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but you are, I'm afraid, our highest scorers at the moment.

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But it can all change. Followed closely by Peter.

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You are only two points ahead of a semi-professional referee!

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Then we go down nine points to Mel and Ashley.

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And, Simon, fantastic score, lovely low score there with Leyton Orient.

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Two points. So Fiona, if you can keep up that low score

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on the second pass, you should be through to the next round.

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Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

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We are looking for the last names of football clubs.

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Ashley, you are on nine.

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The high scorers are Becky and Kay on 22,

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if you can score 12 or less with this answer,

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you are definitely through to the next round.

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-What do you think, Ashley?

-I'm going to have a shot with Rovers.

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Rovers.

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There's your red line, if you can get below that red line,

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you are definitely through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Rovers.

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25.

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That's not a terrible score.

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25 takes your total to 34.

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-Richard.

-There are four Rovers - Blackburn, Doncaster,

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-Bristol and Tranmere.

-Very good.

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Now, Charles.

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-Yes.

-You are on 20, the high scorers are behind you now, Ashley and Mel.

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If you can score 13 or less, you are through to the next round.

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Have you got a good one? I think you have, something tells me.

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I have an answer, whether it's good. It's the only one I know,

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which is Villa.

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You are on 20, if you can score 13 or less,

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get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Villa.

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Go on, go on, go on!

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-Oh!

-25.

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That takes your total up to 45.

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Pretty good score. There is only one Aston Villa, but as you say,

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-a fairly famous one.

-Yes, indeed.

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So, then, Fiona.

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You're on two, if you can score 42 or less,

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you're through to the next round.

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Remember we are looking for football teams' last names.

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What are you thinking?

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I'm going to go for...

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a relatively safe one, that I know is correct,

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-which is Albion.

-Albion?

-Yes.

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Very, very good indeed. I think Simon's extremely impressed.

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There is your red line.

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If you can score less than 42,

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Albion will see you through comfortably to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Albion.

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It's right.

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I think this is very good.

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You're through!

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16.

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Very, very good answer, Fiona. Well done, you.

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That takes your total to 18.

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So Albion, Richard?

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Very well played, Fiona, there are three Albions.

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-Really?

-Which is the one you can think of?

-West Bromwich.

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-There's the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion.

-Of course!

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-The mighty Brighton and Hove!

-And Burton Albion as well.

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Thanks very much. Well done, Fiona.

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Now, Kay.

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We are looking for the last names of English football teams.

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Charles and Peter are our high scorers on 45.

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You have to score 22 or less to have a hope of going through.

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OK, I'm going to go Hotspurs.

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Hotspur. OK, you are saying Hotspur.

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Here is your red line. If Hotspur gets you below that line,

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we will say goodbye to Charles and Peter.

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If you are above that red line with Hotspur,

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I'm afraid we'll say goodbye to you.

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Let's see if that's right and how many people said Hotspur.

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Oh!

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Bad luck.

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I'm afraid Hotspur scores you 31 taking your total up to 53.

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-Richard.

-That's such bad luck.

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Hotspur is a very good answer. Tottenham Hotspur, of course.

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Surprisingly high-scoring. Let's take a look at the very best answers.

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The one pointless answer is Dons for MK Dons, Milton Keynes Dons.

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Redbridge which is Dagenham and Redbridge, would have scored you one.

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And Stanley got the same score as Orient, Accrington Stanley.

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There you go. Let's look at the worst answers.

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These are the ones most of our 100 people gave.

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In a very surprising third place is Hotspur with 31.

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It was the third most popular answer.

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Then the two big ones, City with 48, there are 13 City teams.

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And United with 55, there are 15 of them.

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Very, very bad luck. Very good round.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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So at the end of Round One the losing pair with the highest score,

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I'm afraid, is Kay and Becky. What a shame.

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What would you have liked to have been the first round?

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-Anything really, other than sport.

-Round Three is about hula-hoops, today, as well.

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LAUGHTER

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Such bad luck.

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Anyway, it's a shame to say goodbye so early, but we'll see you again next time

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because everyone gets two chances to reach our Pointless final. Thanks for playing.

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APPLAUSE

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For the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round Two.

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There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head round, obviously,

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so one team will leave at the end of this round.

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The category for Round Two is...

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Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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Right, the second question concerns...

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American food terms.

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We're about to show you a list of food and drink items.

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We asked 100 people to tell us what they are commonly called in America.

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All right? Richard.

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We're going to show you six in each pass

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and the more obvious ones will score you a lot more points.

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The less obvious will score you fewer. If you give us an incorrect answer, it'll score you 100 points.

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Have a go at getting all six at home.

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We are looking for the American terms for these food and drink items.

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And we've got...

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Mmm, right.

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Simon, it's over to you.

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OK, I'm going to go for jam.

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-Yes.

-And I'm going to say jelly.

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Right, good. Jam, jelly, you're saying. Jam, jelly.

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Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said that. Jam, jelly.

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It's right.

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60!

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APPLAUSE

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That scores you 60. Richard?

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Yeah, a very big score, that, jam is jelly.

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Jelly is something else entirely, but that may come up on another board so I won't say what it is.

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Just about to say that, good job you said. Charles...

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We are looking for the American terms for these food items.

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-Have you been to America?

-No!

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LAUGHTER

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Have you left Yorkshire, apart from coming here today?

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You can tell from the non-smile, I've never been to America.

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This is going to be a struggle,

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but I shall have a guess

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that they may call candyfloss sugarfloss.

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Candyfloss, sugarfloss.

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Is that right? And if it is, how many people said sugarfloss?

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Bad luck, unfortunately sugarfloss is an incorrect answer,

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which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

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Yeah, not sugarfloss, I'm afraid. I won't say what it is in case Ashley wants a go at the same question.

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Right you are. Ashley, something tells me you're quite well-travelled.

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Yes, but not in America, I've only been there once.

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But I think I'm going to stick with candyfloss

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because I'm sure that they call it cotton candy.

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Cotton candy. Let's see if it is right and if it is, how many people said it.

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There it is, it's correct.

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Great answer, Ashley!

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Very, very well done, that scores you 23 points.

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So, Richard, cotton candy.

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Yeah, very well played, Ashley. Cotton candy.

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Let's look at the rest of the board. Aubergine might be one people know.

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-That, of course, Xander, is...

-Eggplant.

-Exactly. 41 points.

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Do you know what the Americans call porridge?

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Oh, grits!

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No. Anyone?

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-Oatmeal.

-Oatmeal is exactly right.

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Oatmeal would have scored you 31 points.

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Do you know or care what they call cornflour?

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Cornstarch would have scored you 10.

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Buck's fizz was the lowest score. Do you know what they call it?

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Nobody. Who are the six people who know this?

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-It's a mimosa. A mimosa in America, you get a buck's fizz.

-Very good.

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Thanks very much, Richard. We've all learned something that we can instantly forget. Brilliant!

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LAUGHTER

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OK, we're halfway through the round so let's look at the scores as they stand.

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Well...

0:19:390:19:40

Ashley and Mel looking fantastic on 23.

0:19:400:19:43

Wonderful low score,

0:19:430:19:45

compared to Simon and Fiona on 60, Charles and Peter on 100.

0:19:450:19:48

Now, Peter,

0:19:480:19:50

all is not lost, of course.

0:19:500:19:52

You'll have to atone for that 100 by scoring as low as you can

0:19:520:19:56

and hope that perhaps Fiona or Mel either get something incorrect

0:19:560:20:01

or score very, very high.

0:20:010:20:02

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

0:20:020:20:07

Right, we're going to put six more food and drink items on the board and here we go...

0:20:070:20:12

Remember, we are looking for the American terms for these food and drink items.

0:20:300:20:34

You're trying to find the most obscure one,

0:20:340:20:37

the one that would have scored the lowest amongst our 100 people.

0:20:370:20:40

OK, Mel, have you been to America?

0:20:400:20:44

-I actually worked in America for four months.

-In what capacity?

0:20:440:20:47

With children with special educational needs.

0:20:470:20:50

I thought you were going to say waitress, I was thinking, "Well, there you are."

0:20:500:20:54

It's quite an obvious one, but I'm going to go for jelly, and say jello.

0:20:540:20:59

Jello, you're going to say. You're on 23.

0:20:590:21:02

The highest scorers are Charles and Peter on 100.

0:21:020:21:05

If you can score 76 or less with jello, you are through to the head-to-head.

0:21:050:21:11

Below the red line, through to the head-to-head.

0:21:110:21:13

Let's see if jello is right and if it is, how many people said it.

0:21:130:21:17

Well done, Mel.

0:21:190:21:21

Very good, 47.

0:21:210:21:24

That brings your total up to a round 70.

0:21:240:21:26

So jello, Richard.

0:21:280:21:30

Yep, well played, Mel. Jam is jelly, jelly is jello.

0:21:300:21:34

It's like they're trying to run away from us a word at a time!

0:21:340:21:37

LAUGHTER

0:21:370:21:38

Very good. Now, Peter, you have to score as low as you possibly, possibly can.

0:21:400:21:45

I think there might be a pointless or as close to a pointless as we dare on that board.

0:21:450:21:50

Do you think you can find it?

0:21:500:21:52

There's only one I can hazard a guess at.

0:21:520:21:55

And I know it won't be pointless. I think crisps are chips.

0:21:560:22:01

Crisps, chips. No red line because you are our highest scorers.

0:22:010:22:05

Let's see how many people said chips for crisps.

0:22:050:22:08

82!

0:22:110:22:13

Ooh, that is a very high score, I'm afraid.

0:22:130:22:17

It takes your total up to 182.

0:22:170:22:19

An unassailably high score.

0:22:190:22:22

Even if Fiona and Simon score 100 points, they won't be overtaking you, I'm sorry to say.

0:22:220:22:27

Richard - chips, crisps.

0:22:270:22:28

Yeah, big score, Peter, tough luck. Crisps are chips and chips, of course, are fries.

0:22:280:22:33

Another example.

0:22:330:22:35

HE SIGHS

0:22:350:22:37

We ought to head over there! Is there anything we can do about that?

0:22:370:22:40

-Nothing we can do about it.

-Chase them down the sidewalk?

-Noo...

0:22:400:22:44

LAUGHTER

0:22:440:22:45

You've changed.

0:22:450:22:48

Bad luck, Peter.

0:22:490:22:51

Good answer, correct answer, just a very high-scoring answer.

0:22:510:22:56

Great news for Fiona. You are definitely through to the head-to-head, which means...

0:22:560:23:00

-Pressure's off!

-Pressure's completely off.

0:23:000:23:03

You can have a massive punt on this.

0:23:030:23:05

Remember, we are looking for the American terms for these food items.

0:23:050:23:08

This is a really good topic for me because I also worked in America a long time ago.

0:23:080:23:13

-What did you do?

-I was a waitress.

-A waitress!

-A roller-skating one.

0:23:130:23:17

A roller-skating waitress! That's fantastic.

0:23:170:23:20

-What are you going to go for?

-Erm...

0:23:200:23:22

I should know what rocket is, but I can't remember.

0:23:220:23:25

I think a courgette is zucchini, or something pronounced with a "chini".

0:23:250:23:30

But I'm going to go for icing because it tastes nicer,

0:23:300:23:33

which I believe they call frosting.

0:23:330:23:35

Frosting...

0:23:350:23:36

HE SIGHS

0:23:370:23:39

OK, let's see if that is right. Icing, frosting.

0:23:390:23:42

And if it is, how many people said it.

0:23:420:23:44

It's right.

0:23:440:23:45

Down it goes.

0:23:490:23:50

Very good indeed, 24.

0:23:500:23:51

It takes your total up to 84.

0:23:510:23:55

-Frosting, Richard.

-Frosting, absolutely, is icing.

0:23:570:24:00

Let's look at the others.

0:24:000:24:02

As you also said, courgette is zucchini.

0:24:020:24:04

Coriander, do you know what that is in America?

0:24:040:24:07

-No.

-Cilantro.

0:24:070:24:10

-Oh, get out...

-Cilantro would have scored you six points.

0:24:100:24:13

Rocket, do you know..?

0:24:140:24:15

Presumably ruckula, is it? No.

0:24:150:24:19

-It's arugula.

-Arugula, OK.

-That would have scored one point.

0:24:190:24:23

Very, very well done if you got arugula at home.

0:24:230:24:26

Well, thank you very much, Richard.

0:24:260:24:28

At the end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score...

0:24:280:24:32

Peter and Charles.

0:24:320:24:33

I'm so sorry.

0:24:330:24:35

-Will this encourage you to maybe go to America?

-No.

0:24:350:24:39

LAUGHTER

0:24:390:24:41

We wouldn't know what to eat, would we?

0:24:410:24:43

LAUGHTER

0:24:430:24:45

Very good. Well, it's been brilliant having you on the show.

0:24:450:24:49

The great thing is we get to have you again next time.

0:24:490:24:52

Very best of luck then. But thank you so much for playing today.

0:24:520:24:55

APPLAUSE

0:24:550:24:57

For the remaining pairs, things are going to get more exciting

0:25:000:25:04

as we enter the head-to-head.

0:25:040:25:06

So well done, Fiona and Simon, Ashley and Mel. You've made it through to the head-to-head.

0:25:110:25:17

Only one pair can make it through to today's final and play for the jackpot,

0:25:170:25:21

which, in case you'd forgotten, currently stands at...

0:25:210:25:23

APPLAUSE

0:25:260:25:28

Very exciting. You'll go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

0:25:300:25:34

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer

0:25:340:25:38

and you are now allowed to confer.

0:25:380:25:40

All you have to do is give an answer that scores less than the other pair

0:25:400:25:44

and you will win that point.

0:25:440:25:46

The pair who get the best of three will play for today's jackpot.

0:25:460:25:49

-OK, let's play Pointless.

-APPLAUSE

0:25:490:25:53

Right, here's your first question.

0:25:560:25:58

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:25:580:26:00

to name as many James Bond actors as they could.

0:26:000:26:05

James Bond actors. Richard.

0:26:050:26:08

We're looking for any of the six actors who have played James Bond in the official James Bond films,

0:26:080:26:14

the EON Productions of James Bond films.

0:26:140:26:16

Not on television or radio plays. Any of the six actors who've played James Bond.

0:26:160:26:21

-I'm sure people will think of all of them, but who amongst those is the most obscure?

-OK.

0:26:210:26:26

Fiona and Simon, you may have the tactical advantage here

0:26:260:26:29

because you played best throughout the show, you get to go first.

0:26:290:26:33

We are looking for actors who have played James Bond in the films, the EON films.

0:26:330:26:37

OK, you have an answer.

0:26:410:26:43

-We do. George Lazenby.

-You're going for George Lazenby. OK.

0:26:430:26:49

Ashley and Mel, have they stolen your answer?

0:26:490:26:52

They have, I'm having to go for my first reserve.

0:26:520:26:55

Who is your first... Who's first on the bench?

0:26:550:26:58

-Timothy Dalton.

-Timothy Dalton!

0:26:580:27:00

Right, well, George Lazenby was what Fiona and Simon said.

0:27:000:27:03

Let's put that to the test first. George Lazenby.

0:27:030:27:07

APPLAUSE

0:27:140:27:16

Just under a third of our 100 people said George Lazenby.

0:27:180:27:23

Right, Ashley and Mel, you have said Timothy Dalton.

0:27:230:27:26

Let's put that to the test, see how many people said Timothy Dalton.

0:27:260:27:30

Will it beat George Lazenby?

0:27:300:27:32

APPLAUSE

0:27:390:27:40

So after the first question, it is 1-0 to Fiona and Simon.

0:27:420:27:46

Yeah, very well played, both of you. Those were the best two answers.

0:27:460:27:49

Let's look at all six.

0:27:490:27:50

Six men have played Bond

0:27:500:27:52

up to the start of 2011.

0:27:520:27:54

If you're watching a repeat in 2014 and wondering why Bobby Davro isn't on the list...

0:27:540:27:59

That's why.

0:27:590:28:01

George Lazenby, 30.

0:28:010:28:03

Only appeared in one - On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

0:28:030:28:06

Timothy Dalton, 39.

0:28:060:28:07

Then Daniel Craig and Pierce Brosnan both with 58.

0:28:070:28:10

And right at the top, Roger Moore on 70

0:28:100:28:12

and Sean Connery, the most famous Bond of all, with 92.

0:28:120:28:16

OK, well, it is 1-0 to Fiona and Simon.

0:28:160:28:18

If Fiona and Simon win this point, they are straight through to the final.

0:28:180:28:23

Ashley and Mel, you must win this point to stay in the game.

0:28:230:28:28

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:28:280:28:31

to name as many Shakespearean kings as they could.

0:28:310:28:34

-Shakespearean kings, Richard.

-Yes, specifically,

0:28:340:28:38

any king who appears in the title of a Shakespearean play.

0:28:380:28:42

There are ten Shakespearean plays with a king in the title.

0:28:420:28:46

Right, Ashley and Mel, you get to go first.

0:28:460:28:49

THEY CONFER

0:28:490:28:53

We're going to go out on a limb

0:28:560:28:58

with Cymbeline.

0:28:580:29:01

Ooh, very good answer!

0:29:010:29:04

Possibly.

0:29:040:29:06

LAUGHTER

0:29:060:29:09

Fiona and Simon.

0:29:100:29:12

Go on, go with yours.

0:29:120:29:14

No, we'll go with yours.

0:29:140:29:16

I don't have any!

0:29:160:29:17

Apart from Macbeth, which I don't want to do.

0:29:170:29:21

-Was he a king?

-Yes, he was a king. Erm...

0:29:210:29:24

Titus Andronicus, was he not..?

0:29:260:29:28

-Titus Andronicus.

-Was he not a king?

0:29:280:29:31

-I think so.

-He's an important man, so...

-Yeah. Let's go for it. Titus Andronicus.

0:29:310:29:35

Titus Andronicus. We have Cymbeline and Titus Andronicus.

0:29:350:29:39

Let's take those in the order they were given.

0:29:390:29:41

Ashley and Mel said Cymbeline. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

0:29:410:29:46

It's right.

0:29:500:29:51

A very impressive answer. I think it'll go a long way down.

0:29:520:29:56

-Oh, wow! Look at that!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:560:30:01

Very, very well done.

0:30:030:30:06

Now that...

0:30:060:30:07

That obviously is a pointless answer.

0:30:080:30:13

It scores nothing and it adds £250 to today's jackpot, taking it to...

0:30:130:30:18

APPLAUSE

0:30:180:30:21

I think I'm right in saying that's the first pointless answer we've had in a head-to-head.

0:30:230:30:28

I think it is.

0:30:280:30:29

Right, Fiona and Simon. Best you can hope for here is that Titus Andronicus is pointless

0:30:290:30:35

and it will tie.

0:30:350:30:37

Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

0:30:370:30:41

Bad luck.

0:30:450:30:47

A good guess but, sadly, wrong. Richard.

0:30:470:30:51

He was a Roman general but you couldn't have beaten that anyway. A wonderful answer, Ashley.

0:30:510:30:56

Cymbeline is a Celtic king. The George Lazenby of Shakespearean kings.

0:30:560:31:00

LAUGHTER Very good answer.

0:31:000:31:02

Seems unfair it's only 1-1, but let's look at all the kings.

0:31:020:31:05

We know there's a pointless answer - it was Cymbeline.

0:31:050:31:09

There's five more here.

0:31:150:31:17

Macbeth, which you mentioned, with 25.

0:31:200:31:24

Miles out in the lead, King Lear with 72. Well done if you got all ten at home.

0:31:240:31:29

Especially Cymbeline.

0:31:290:31:31

There we are. Thanks, Richard.

0:31:310:31:33

It is 1-1. It is 1-1. Whoever wins the next point goes through to the final

0:31:330:31:38

with a chance to play for that massive jackpot. Here is your third question.

0:31:380:31:43

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:31:430:31:46

How about that as a decider? Blimey! Richard.

0:31:520:31:56

Talk about breadth of knowledge!

0:31:560:31:59

Any of the seven trains from the TV series known as the Steam Team.

0:31:590:32:03

We won't accept Thomas himself

0:32:030:32:06

but it's the seven most famous engines from Thomas The Tank Engine.

0:32:060:32:10

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:32:100:32:12

Fiona and Simon, you get to go first.

0:32:120:32:15

THEY CONFER

0:32:160:32:19

-We're going to go for Edward.

-Edward.

-Yep.

0:32:230:32:27

OK. You're going for Edward. Ashley and Mel?

0:32:270:32:30

-I have to hand over to Mel because she works with children.

-Right.

0:32:300:32:34

-I'm thinking Gordon.

-You're thinking Gordon.

-Yeah.

0:32:340:32:38

I hope he's a Thomas The Tank Engine character.

0:32:380:32:40

I seem to remember him as the one that wasn't in often when I used to watch.

0:32:400:32:45

-So I'm going Gordon.

-OK.

0:32:450:32:48

Slacker Gordon there for slightly under the radar.

0:32:480:32:51

There's only one way to find out.

0:32:510:32:52

Fiona and Simon have gone with Edward. Let's see how many people said Edward.

0:32:520:32:57

-27.

-APPLAUSE

0:33:040:33:07

27 for Edward. Simon, what are you thinking?

0:33:120:33:14

-I think we'll struggle to go through.

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:33:140:33:18

OK. Ashley and Mel have said Gordon.

0:33:180:33:22

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:33:220:33:25

This is for a place in the final.

0:33:250:33:27

Whoever wins this point will go through to the final.

0:33:270:33:30

OK. Gordon. Will it go below Edward?

0:33:340:33:37

Oh!

0:33:370:33:39

-29!

-APPLAUSE

0:33:390:33:41

No way!

0:33:410:33:44

Very exciting indeed. Richard.

0:33:500:33:52

That was very close. A great game, guys. Well played, both of you.

0:33:520:33:56

Both pairs played excellently. Let's look at the whole list.

0:33:560:34:00

There were a few that would have beaten Edward.

0:34:000:34:04

Really good head-to-head. Well played, everybody.

0:34:150:34:18

Very good indeed. So the losing pair

0:34:180:34:21

at the end of the head-to-head are Ashley and Mel.

0:34:210:34:24

What can I say? Did you know Emily?

0:34:240:34:27

No. I knew James but I thought everyone would know James!

0:34:270:34:31

I shoved him to one side, being the only red engine.

0:34:310:34:34

Well, you've both been fantastic. Wonderful contestants in both games you've played.

0:34:340:34:38

That's our loss. Sorry to say goodbye to you, but thank you for playing.

0:34:380:34:42

APPLAUSE

0:34:420:34:44

For Fiona and Simon, it's time for our Pointless final

0:34:480:34:52

and the chance to win our jackpot of £8,500.

0:34:520:34:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:550:34:57

Congratulations, Fiona and Simon. You've seen off all the competition.

0:35:010:35:05

You have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

0:35:050:35:09

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:090:35:11

Very well done.

0:35:170:35:18

Now you have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot which, in case you'd forgotten,

0:35:180:35:24

stands at £8,500.

0:35:240:35:26

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:260:35:28

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer

0:35:310:35:36

that none of our 100 people could think of. We've had one pointless answer on the show today.

0:35:360:35:41

You only need to find one more to go home with that £8,500 jackpot.

0:35:410:35:46

First, though, you've to choose a category from these options.

0:35:460:35:49

You can go for...

0:35:490:35:51

What do you think?

0:35:560:35:58

Oh, dear me is what I think!

0:35:580:36:00

None of the above!

0:36:000:36:01

-I'm thinking world politics is too broad.

-I think that's too broad.

0:36:010:36:06

Ditto for science.

0:36:060:36:08

-I'm steering towards fashion.

-Never thought I'd say it but we should go for fashion.

0:36:080:36:12

You're thinking fashion. Let's find out what that question is.

0:36:120:36:16

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:36:160:36:20

Vogue cover models.

0:36:240:36:26

-Richard.

-We're looking for anyone who's appeared on the cover of British Vogue

0:36:260:36:30

from January 2005 through to December 2010.

0:36:300:36:35

Been an awful lot of pointless people on the cover, all on this list. LAUGHTER

0:36:350:36:39

Just so you know, there was a special 90th anniversary issue which had a collage of hundreds of covers -

0:36:390:36:44

we're not accepting that. Just the regular British Vogue.

0:36:440:36:49

From January 2005 to December 2010.

0:36:490:36:53

January 2005. That shouldn't be too hard, surely.

0:36:530:36:57

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:36:570:37:00

All you need to win that £8,500 is for one of those answers to be pointless.

0:37:000:37:05

-Your 60 seconds start now.

-Victoria Beckham.

-OK.

0:37:050:37:09

-Sienna Miller may have been on there.

-Yeah.

0:37:120:37:14

-Style icons in the UK.

-But quite well known.

0:37:140:37:18

Yeah, quite well known.

0:37:180:37:19

-Think who are quite fashionably dressed.

-Are men ever in Vogue?

0:37:190:37:23

Yeah, I think, possibly - dare I say his name? David Beckham may have been on.

0:37:230:37:27

-Do you want to lose on that twice?

-No, I don't!

0:37:270:37:30

Who's quite stylish? Er...

0:37:330:37:36

-Jude Law?

-I thought him as well.

-Fashiony.

-Yes.

0:37:360:37:40

Although it is more women. It's normally female covers.

0:37:400:37:44

So...

0:37:460:37:48

-Any other females you can think of?

-Er...

0:37:500:37:54

Kate Winslet randomly keeps popping into my head but I'm not sure that's right. She's a bit too curvy.

0:37:540:37:59

Sorry, Kate!

0:37:590:38:01

-Five seconds left.

-Victoria Beckham, Sienna Miller and...

0:38:010:38:07

Someone else stylish.

0:38:070:38:09

OK, that is your minute up.

0:38:090:38:12

We were looking for Vogue cover models. I need your three answers.

0:38:120:38:15

OK, we will go for...

0:38:160:38:19

-Victoria Beckham.

-Victoria Beckham.

0:38:190:38:21

-We will go for Sienna Miller.

-Sienna Miller.

0:38:210:38:25

And Lily...

0:38:250:38:28

Quickly, quickly!

0:38:280:38:30

-Christy Turlington.

-Christy Turlington. OK.

0:38:300:38:34

Which of those do you think is your most confident crack at a pointless answer?

0:38:340:38:38

-Sienna Miller.

-We'll put her third.

0:38:380:38:40

-And your least confident?

-Er...Christy Turlington.

-Christy Turlington.

0:38:400:38:44

OK, your least confident first.

0:38:440:38:46

There they are, up on the board.

0:38:550:38:56

They all look like they could be right. They should be right.

0:38:560:39:00

It's a question of whether anyone thought of them. OK.

0:39:000:39:03

We were looking for Vogue cover models. This was your least confident answer.

0:39:030:39:07

You need one of these to be pointless

0:39:070:39:09

to win that £8,500 jackpot.

0:39:090:39:12

Let's see if Christy Turlington is right and how many people said it.

0:39:120:39:17

Oh!

0:39:200:39:22

Sadly, that's incorrect. Obviously not pointless, but that was your least confident answer,

0:39:220:39:27

so no great loss.

0:39:270:39:29

You only have two more chances to win the jackpot.

0:39:290:39:33

£8,500, what would you do with that?

0:39:330:39:37

I've always wanted to go to the Super Bowl so we'd probably pack up the family and go watch an NFL game.

0:39:370:39:43

We might take them via Disneyworld.

0:39:430:39:46

-Yes! Probably do that.

-There we are. Perfect.

0:39:460:39:49

OK, good luck. You've still got two shots at that £8,500.

0:39:490:39:52

We were looking for Vogue cover models. Let's hope nobody said your next answer.

0:39:520:39:57

This has to be pointless to win that jackpot of £8,500.

0:39:570:40:00

Let's see if Victoria Beckham is correct. Let's see how many people said it.

0:40:000:40:06

Victoria Beckham.

0:40:060:40:08

It's right.

0:40:110:40:12

This is your second of three chances to win that jackpot.

0:40:120:40:15

This has to go all the way down to zero.

0:40:150:40:18

Victoria Beckham could be the answer... Oh!

0:40:180:40:24

APPLAUSE

0:40:240:40:26

Not bad, though.

0:40:260:40:28

Maybe that's some way of testing our 100 people. If only five of them out of 100 got Victoria Beckham,

0:40:300:40:36

maybe nobody said your third answer, which is the one you had most faith in.

0:40:360:40:41

Your last chance to win £8,500.

0:40:410:40:44

Sienna Miller. There she is. The last one on your list.

0:40:440:40:48

What are you thinking?

0:40:480:40:50

-I thought more would know Victoria Beckham than five.

-Exactly.

0:40:500:40:54

-So if that's a barometer, it's quite good.

-Is she right, though?

0:40:540:40:57

Only one way to find out.

0:40:570:40:59

How many people said Sienna Miller?

0:41:010:41:03

It's right.

0:41:060:41:08

It's right. Victoria Beckham went down to five.

0:41:080:41:11

Maybe Sienna will take you all the way to zero

0:41:110:41:15

for £8,500.

0:41:150:41:19

OH!

0:41:190:41:20

-APPLAUSE

-Oh-ho-ho!

0:41:200:41:22

Wow. Wow.

0:41:290:41:32

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that vital pointless answer.

0:41:320:41:37

You came THAT close. Unbelievable, isn't it?

0:41:370:41:39

-Yep!

-The ride you've had this afternoon! Unbelievable!

0:41:390:41:44

I'm afraid that means you don't win today's jackpot of £8,500,

0:41:440:41:48

which will roll over to the next show.

0:41:480:41:50

But you have been fantastic contestants and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy.

0:41:500:41:54

-Thank you very much for that.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:540:41:57

-Richard.

-Yeah, very unlucky. A terrific effort.

0:42:030:42:07

-Have you remembered the surname of Lily?

-Lily Cole.

0:42:070:42:11

If you'd said Lily Cole, she was a pointless answer,

0:42:110:42:14

-would have won you £8,500.

-Oh, no!

0:42:140:42:17

That's really tough luck. There were all sorts of pointless models who were answers here.

0:42:190:42:24

Also some more famous people - especially actresses might have been the way to go for pointless answers.

0:42:240:42:29

They were all pointless, all would have won you the money.

0:42:330:42:36

Lara Stone, the model married to David Walliams.

0:42:360:42:39

Lizzy Jagger's sister, Georgia, has also been on the cover - she was pointless.

0:42:390:42:43

There's all sorts. It's one of those, had you had three or four minutes, you could have come up with names

0:42:500:42:55

but you had a really good shot. Very tough luck.

0:42:550:42:58

That's even harder to take, isn't it?

0:42:580:43:01

-Knowing that you were...

-Better not to have known that.

0:43:010:43:04

Bad luck. Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to Fiona and Simon.

0:43:040:43:08

It's been fabulous having you on the show. Thank you for playing. Brilliant contestants.

0:43:080:43:13

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:130:43:16

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over, which means on the next show, we'll be playing for...

0:43:160:43:21

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:240:43:25

-Join us next time to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

0:43:280:43:33

And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:330:43:34

APPLAUSE

0:43:340:43:38

If you want to be on the next series of Pointless,

0:43:380:43:41

you can find out more by going to...

0:43:410:43:45

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:43:480:43:51

E-mail [email protected]

0:43:510:43:54

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