Episode 14 Pointless

CHEERING / APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And first we welcome back Paul and Nick.

You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances,

and this is your second and last chance.

Remind us what happened.

-Oh, well, picked a topic I don't like - football.

-Oh, dear.

Just couldn't think of anything. Totally blank.

So now you're going to atone for that performance.

What's going to come up, Nick, that will be a chance for you

-to dazzle us?

-As long as it's not football, we'll be fine.

Any general knowledge... Paul's very good at that.

We have quizzes all the time. Christmas time... Competitive streak you wouldn't believe.

Partners say, "It's only a game." "No, it's not."

-Taken very seriously.

-It's great having you back. Best of luck.

-I hope we'll have you for much longer this time.

-So do we.

Next we welcome Lynne and Glenys.

How do you two know each other?

We met about 11 years ago, when I was lady captain at a golf club

that we're no longer members at, and Glenys came along to join,

and we just became really firm friends.

What would you like to see come up? What would be a cracking subject?

Anything that's been on the programmes before would be helpful,

the ones I've watched, and I've watched lots of them.

I am a bit sad. I've got it on series link,

because I haven't been in lately. I've been playing golf.

So basically your specialist topic is Pointless.

-Pointless.

-OK. Very good.

-Glenys, what would be great for you?

-General knowledge, I'd really like,

-or travel or geography.

-OK.

-I've travelled a lot.

I've been really lucky. My daughter worked for a well known airline

for ten years, long-haul, so I got to travel quite a lot of the world with her.

-And my son lives in LA.

-Oh, perfect! Perfect excuse.

Let's hope all of those things come up.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you on the show.

Next we welcome Diane and Marc. How do you two know each other?

About four years ago, I was fed up of working as a counsellor

on my own, and Marc came to join me. And we've been friends ever since,

-We've known each other four years.

-Whereabouts do you work?

-We work in a sixth-form college in Huddersfield.

-In Huddersfield?

And I moonlight as a sex therapist.

LAUGHTER

Slightly unfortunate choice of words there, Diane, but...

Yeah. OK. And Marc, what do you do in Huddersfield?

-You're a counsellor?

-With Diane, yeah.

-OK. Any moonlighting from you?

-No.

No. What would you like to see come up this afternoon?

What sorts of things do you like to do?

I guess I'd like '60s French music to come up.

-That would be my speciality.

-'60s French music?

-Fingers crossed, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Is it on?

-Yes. It's a '60s French-music special, Marc.

Great. I'm in.

Diane, while Marc's listening to his '60s music,

-what do you like to do?

-I really like to listen to Star Wars music.

Star Wars. I like to sort of, you know, chill out.

My kids will be laughing their heads off as I'm saying this.

-Star Wars.

-Yeah. I like Star Wars.

-She's a sci-fi nerd.

-I'm a bit of a geek.

-Are you?

-But Star Wars is the acme of all science fiction?

-Absolutely.

-It's great to have you on the show. Very, very best of luck.

-Thank you.

Finally we welcome back Ali and Lucy. You were here last time.

-Remind us how you did.

-We did pretty well.

We got to the head-to-head, but it all folded after that.

-Warsaw Pact was unfortunate.

-Yeah. Rising Damp.

Rising Damp was unlucky, I think.

Lucy, obviously last time we heard all about Ali's bank.

In fact, not just "about" - we heard Ali's band as well.

What do you like to do? You're a student at York.

Yeah. I'm studying English literature,

so I'm hoping something with literature comes up, obviously.

Very good. Ali, what would you love to see come up?

-What would be a brilliant category?

-I'm pretty strong on UK geography.

-I've been all over the British Isles.

-In a minibus.

-Yeah.

-I know some odd places,

and I think I'm quite strong on food and drink.

I say that, and it's going to come up and I'll embarrass myself, but...

Well, we'll find out soon enough. It's great to have you back.

We'll find out more about all of you later.

There's only one person left for met to introduce.

In the bath of obscurity, he's the Pointless rubber duck.

-He is my Pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

How are you?

-Good afternoon to you.

-Very good afternoon to you too.

Got two returning pairs today. They had differing fortunes last time.

Paul and Nick were unlucky, got knocked out in the first round,

and Ali and Lucy got all the way to the head-to-head.

Had a tough head-to-head, but they've proved themselves.

It should be a tough show. Even better for Ali,

the first category, if he likes UK geography,

-is right up his street.

-Very good indeed.

We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

but this is Pointless, so we're after the answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot,

our players need to score as few points as they can.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people gave, and each time that happens,

we will add £250 to the jackpot. Nobody won the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that. So today's jackpot starts off...

at £3,500.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Right! Let's play Pointless.

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer,

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end will be eliminated.

OK. Our first category this afternoon is...

..islands. Decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Hebridean islands as they could.

Yeah. The correct answers in this round will all be islands

in the Inner or Outer Hebrides.

OK. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, before the show you all drew lots,

and Paul and Nick, you get to go first.

You'll be pleased to hear we're going to give you a choice

-of seven possible...

-Phew. LAUGHTER

"Phew!" We'll give you a choice of seven possible answers

on the board in each pass. Your first set reads like this.

At least one of those answers is Pointless,

but be very careful indeed, because at least one of them is wrong.

Pick an incorrect one, and you will score the maximum of 100 points.

So, Paul, you're in a better position now I've told you...

Yeah, because I don't know any of them except one, I recognise.

-Right.

-Never heard of any of the others.

-OK.

-Oh, maybe two.

Have you ever been up there, to the Hebrides?

I've been on one of them. I'm going to take a little gamble.

Just trying to read what Nick thinks of that.

I don't think he knows any of them either!

PAUL LAUGHS

I'm going to go with Corncrake.

Corncrake, you are saying? There it is, one up from the bottom.

-What do you think, Nick?

-I've got no idea,

-so I guess it's as good as any.

-Good luck. Let's see if it's right,

and if it is, how many people said Corncrake.

Oh!

Bad luck, Paul!

-Not another one!

-Unfortunately Corncrake is incorrect,

which means it scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Bad luck. Richard?

-Yeah. Sorry, Paul.

Corncrake is a rare Scottish bird, not an island, I'm afraid.

-PAUL SIGHS

-Here we go again.

There we are. Now, then, Lynne. Lynne, we come to you.

-I think you might know quite a few of these.

-Not a clue!

-Not a clue?

-Never been that far up.

Well, maybe there was only one incorrect answer on the board.

-Maybe.

-And maybe Paul has just mine-swept for you.

-Maybe.

-Maybe.

There is most definitely one pointless answer on the board.

I like the sound of...Barra.

Barra.

-Don't know whether it's there or not.

-Is that a complete guess,

-or do you think you've heard of it?

-I don't think I have.

OK. Barra.

Let's see if Barra's right, and if it is, how many people said Barra.

-It is right!

-Good one. Yes, well done.

-22 for Barra.

-I'm happy with that.

-Well done.

-22. Not a bad score.

-Richard, Barra.

-Well done. Barra's in the Outer Hebrides,

one of the larger, better-known islands in the Outer Hebrides.

OK. Now, then, Diane, we are looking for Hebridean islands.

-What do you think?

-Well, I know one,

and the other one's gone,

so I'm going to go for one I think is right - Lismore,

-but I don't... Yeah, go on.

-Lismore, you're saying.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Lismore.

It's right!

-Yeah!

-Not only right!

-CHEERING / APPLAUSE

-It's a pointless answer.

That means it adds £250 to today's jackpot,

and takes the total up to £3,750.

And it scores you nothing. Very well done. Richard?

Well played. Great start to the show. It's in the Inner Hebrides, Lismore.

It's got a population of about 150 people.

Hello, if you're watching.

THEY LAUGH

Ali, we're looking for Hebridean islands.

I'm certain about one. I'm pretty sure about another,

and the other two I've got no idea about.

So I've got... Skye is a dead cert for me,

and Muck is the one I'm pretty sure about.

I'm not sure about the other two, so I'm going to go for Muck.

I'm sort of quietly confident that that's...that's, er, one.

-What do you think, Lucy?

-I trust your judgement.

-Thank you.

-You know Scotland.

-Muck.

Muck.

-Did Elliot Minor play Muck ever?

-LUCY LAUGHS

We never got that far. One day, maybe.

One day. One day.

Let's see if Muck's right, and if it is, how many people said Muck.

That's right. Well done, Ali.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Very, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Four points for Muck.

That's pretty good.

-Richard?

-Yeah, very well played, Ali.

Gaelic for "Isle of Pigs". Let's look at the rest of the board.

-Which is the place you've been to, Paul, on there?

-Skye.

You could've said it. Skye would've scored you 55 points.

Of Caboc and Grimsay, one is correct and one is pointless.

I think Grimsay is right, because there are a few that end A-Y.

Well done if you said Grimsay at home. That is a pointless answer.

And Caboc is a Scottish cheese, so that's an incorrect answer.

-It's a delicious incorrect answer.

-Very good. Thank you, Richard.

Let's take a look at the scores. Diane and Marc looking very strong

with a beautiful score of zero, then we go up to Ali and Lucy on four,

and then up to Lynne and Glenys on 22...

and then up quite a long way to Paul and Nick on 100.

-Nick, you have your work cut out.

-To say the least.

To say the least. Good luck with that.

OK. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We're going to put seven more answers on the board.

We are looking for Hebridean islands, and here we go.

Again I can tell you at least one of those answers is pointless,

and at least one of those answers is incorrect,

so try and avoid those incorrect ones.

Now, Lucy, Ali has set you up fabulously there with Muck.

-Yeah.

-You're on four. The high scorers are Nick and Paul on 100.

If you can score 95 or less, you are through to the next round.

I'm trying to look for ones that sound Gaelic.

I know Irish Gaelic. I don't know how similar it is.

And there's one that rings a bell, but I don't know if it's...

if it's because it's an island, or if I know it from somewhere else.

-How do you know Irish Gaelic?

-I went to school in Ireland,

-secondary school.

-I see. So you lived in Ireland?

-Yeah, eight years.

-Eight years.

I'm going to guess, because we're in quite a comfortable position,

-so I'm going to say Mull.

-You're going to say Mull?

Sounds good to me. Mull. Here is your red line.

Below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Very best of luck. Is Mull right? How many people said it?

It's right. Very well done, Lucy. You're through.

-30 for Mull.

-APPLAUSE

Very good. That takes your total up to 34.

Richard?

Well played, Lucy. Safely through with Mull.

One of the better known of the Hebridean islands.

Marc...

-How well did Diane do?

-Brilliantly.

-Brilliantly!

-Absolutely. I don't know how you pronounce it,

-but I'm going to go for Gigha.

-You're going to go for Gigha.

-If that's how you say it, yeah.

-Very good. There is Gigha,

third one down. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Gigha. There's your red line.

It's right.

Not just right!

APPLAUSE

That's pointless! It adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £4,000.

It scores you nothing, and it leaves your total at nothing.

-Very well done. Richard?

-Blimey, Marc and Diane!

Look at Diane's poker face there!

Gives nothing away, doesn't it?

Gigha was bought in 1944 by Sir James Horlick,

of the hot-drink company.

-Glenys!

-Hmm...

Remember, we are looking for Hebridean islands.

I really liked the answers in the first round.

I did know four of them. But I somehow think...

I remember hearing the shipping forecasts,

because I'm rather ancient, and I think Tiree is an island.

-Tiree. It's definitely something.

-It is definitely something.

It rings a very strong bell. Tiree!

-Is it a Hebridean island?

-Hope so. I hope so.

Oh, I hope so too. The high scorers are Nick and Paul on 100.

If you can score 77 or less with Tiree,

you are through to the next round. There is your red line.

Let's see if Tiree's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

Tiree.

Well done! It's right, and you are through to the next round.

Brilliant.

Oh, it's a brilliant score!

Four for Tiree. Takes your total up to 26.

-Richard?

-Yeah, very well done, Glenys.

Tiree is one of Britain's sunniest places in the summer.

The whole of the Hebrides, very beautiful.

-It's worth a visit. Have you been?

-Oh, and how! I love it.

Wonderful, aren't they?

-Nick, I tell you some terrible news.

-Oh, no. What?

I have awful news for you. I'm afraid your high score of 100

is unbeatable. You haven't even given your answer,

and already you are the high scorers.

Some very good scores before me. I can't complain.

That's true. I tell you what you can do, though.

Your legacy to this show

could be to add £250 to the jackpot by finding a pointless answer.

-I think you can do it.

-I'm glad you do, because I'm not too sure.

You're the last person to have this board. Talk us through.

I'll have to have a shot in the dark. I don't think Rum's one.

It probably is. St Clair or Eigg, I'm thinking of, to be honest.

It might even be Summerisle. I don't think Rum's one,

but who knows? And then the Gaelic theme,

-if I go with Eigg...

-You're going to go with Eigg?

Yeah, why not? "Eigg" on our face. We might as well carry on.

-HE LAUGHS

-OK. Eigg, you are saying.

There's no red line for you cos you are the high scorers.

Let's see if it's right. Eigg. How many people said it?

Well done, Nick. It's right.

Go on. Come for nothing.

-Go on.

-Let's see. Let's see.

-Go on!

-Oh, 11!

-Well done.

-APPLAUSE

-11 for Eigg.

-I'm happy with that.

Takes your total up to 111.

A nice way to finish, Nick. Well done.

Long associated with the Clan MacDonald, the Isle of Eigg.

Let's take a look through the rest of the board.

Rum is a Hebridean island, but would have scored you nine points.

Slightly better answer. And those other two, Xander?

Well, we all know the Isle of St Clair.

Yeah. That's an incorrect answer. She used to be on The Generation Game.

-And Summerisle?

-That's definitely an island, yes.

That's right, yeah, Summerisle.

-Oh, no!

-Summerisle is the island on The Wicker Man.

Summerisle. Sorry about that. It's an incorrect answer.

Thank you very much, Richard! At the end of round one,

the losing pair with the highest score again, Paul and Nick!

It's just not right. I was thinking at least head-to-head.

-We will be head-to-head when we get out.

-Oh, yeah!

It has been lovely having you on the show.

We haven't seen nearly enough of you, and we have to say goodbye now.

Great contestants. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, now it's time for round two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head,

so one of these pairs will be leaving at the end of this round.

Our round-two category this afternoon is...

TV. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And our round-two question this afternoon concerns...

TV shows and their spin-offs.

We're going to show you six spin-offs on each pass.

We asked 100 people which show did they spin off from.

The more obscure ones will score fewer points.

An incorrect answer will score 100 points.

There's 12 spin-offs in all. See how many you get at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. We are looking for the original TV shows

of which these are TV spin-offs. And we have got...

So, there they are. Now, Glenys... Now, then, Glenys.

What's this like as a category for you?

Not very good. Um... I know a couple of them,

but I don't want to go for them

because I think they might be the sort of obvious answers.

I'm probably going to go for an obvious answer anyway,

but I'm going to go for, The Colbys was a spin-off from Dallas.

The Colbys, Dallas. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

-Oh!

-Oh, God!

-Bad luck, Glenys!

I shouldn't have said that. Sorry!

You clearly shouldn't have said that.

That is an incorrect answer,

which I'm afraid means you score the maximum of 100 points,

-I'm sorry to say. Richard?

-I won't give the correct answer,

just in case Marc or Lucy want to have a go at the same one.

Marc, we're looking for the TV shows of which these show are spin-offs.

You and Diane scored a double pointless in the first round.

Let's see if you can follow that up with another super-low score.

-Do you watch a lot of television?

-I watch quite a lot, yeah.

-So this is a good topic?

-I know a few of those up there.

-OK.

Just depends on how confident I'm going to be

on going for the one I'm less sure about.

Maybe Glenys's high score might give you a boost of confidence.

I'm going to go for my favourite TV programme in the '80s,

and the spin-off of The Colbys came from Dynasty.

Dynasty. Yes.

There you are, Glenys.

Dynasty. Let's see if that's right. The Colbys, Dynasty.

There we are. Well done, Marc.

27.

-APPLAUSE

-Not a bad score at all,

-for Dynasty. Richard?

-Yeah. Well played, Marc.

Tough luck, Glenys. It was Dynasty.

The Colbys starred Charlton Heston,

and ended after two series with an alien abduction.

-I had no idea!

-Mm, yeah. It was quite something.

Very good. Great answer, Marc. So, Lucy, we come to you.

You're the last person to have this board,

so talk us through all the answers you can give.

I only know one, I'm afraid, but I do know it for certain,

so I'm going to have to, even though it's obvious,

say The Green Green Grass and Only Fools And Horses.

Only Fools And Horses, you are saying.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people knew that answer.

There we are. It's right.

46.

-APPLAUSE

-Not a terrible score.

46 for Only Fools And Horses.

Well done, Lucy. A nice safe score. Featured Marlene and Boyce.

Let's take a look at the others. The biggest answer of all is Lewis,

a spin-off from Inspector Morse. That would have scored 67 points.

-Tucker's Luck is a spin-off...

-From Grange Hill.

-Exactly right,

with Todd Carty. 38 points.

George And Mildred, slightly tougher one.

Spin-off from Man About The House. Well done if you got that at home.

Would have scored 17. The best answer is Rhoda,

more famous in America than here.

It was a spin-off of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Scored four points. That's the best answer on the board.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the scores.

Marc, you've done it again - the lowest score on the pass, 27.

Then up to 46, Lucy and Ali.

And then Glenys and Lynne. I'm afraid an incorrect answer there.

That scored you 100.

So, Lynne, you have your work cut out in the next pass.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We'll put another six answers on the board,

and we have got...

Remember, we are looking for the original TV shows

of which these are spin-offs,

and you're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, Ali...

Now, then, Ali, Lucy's left you in a pretty comfortable position.

Lynne and Glenys are the high scorers on 100.

If you can score 53 or less with your answer,

you are definitely through to the next round.

I don't think I'm going to be able to. I literally know none of them.

TV is one of the weakest things I... I watch reality TV, and that's as far as it goes.

Lucy is desperately trying to beam answers into you.

I bet she knows at least half of them, if not more.

I'm going to go for Torchwood. I've got a vague idea of what it's like.

I'm going to go for... Inspector Morse.

Another Inspector Morse spin-off.

-LAUGHTER

-Er, Torchwood...

-What are you thinking, Lucy?

-I know the answer, so...

You know the answer, yeah. There you are.

There's your red line. Below that, through to the head-to-head.

Torchwood, Inspector Morse, you're saying.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that.

Bad luck, Ali. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points,

taking your total up to 146.

-Richard?

-Yes, it is an incorrect answer.

There was an episode of Morse where he used a torch in a wood.

-THEY LAUGH

-That's what I was thinking.

I won't give the answer in case Diane or Lynne want to have a go at it.

Diane, remember, we're looking for the TV shows

of which these shows are spin-offs.

The high scorers are Ali and Lucy on 146.

You are through to the head-to-head.

Whatever happens, you'll never overtake that score.

Bearing that in mind, why not see if you can find a low-scoring answer

-on this board?

-Because I don't know any!

I think the only two I know are high-scoring.

I'm going to go... Frasier, I think, was from Cheers.

-Frasier, Cheers, you are saying.

-Yeah. I think I know that one,

-for a change.

-Very good. Well, there's no red line for you.

You are through to the next round whatever happens.

So let's see if that's right. Frasier, Cheers.

Well done.

43! Not a bad score.

Takes your total up to 70.

-Richard?

-Well played, Diane. Safely through.

Frasier Crane leaves the bar in Boston and moves to Seattle

to be a radio counsellor.

-Very good. Now, then, Lynne...

-Yes.

-It's all in your hands.

-I know.

-The high scorers are Ali and Lucy on 146.

If you score 45 or less with this,

you stay and are through to the head-to-head.

You're the last person to have this board,

-so talk us through it. Is this a good subject for you?

-Not really.

I knew Frazier. I think I know Torchwood.

Knots Landing could be the one that Glenys said the last time.

Benson I can see, but I can't see the programme before Benson,

so I'm going to have to go with Torchwood,

and I think it's going to be a lot more than 46, if it's right.

So I'm going to say Doctor Who.

Torchwood, Doctor Who. Were you anywhere near saying that, Ali?

I'm going to say that, honestly, that crossed my mind.

I'm not lying, but... Um, I think it's right.

The question is, will it go below 45?

-I think not.

-45 or below.

Only one way to find out.

Let's see. Is Torchwood, Doctor Who right,

and if it is, how many people said it?

There's your red line. Below that red line,

you are in the head-to-head. Above that red line,

Ali and Lucy are in the head-to-head.

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

Bad luck, Lynne. I'm afraid that scores you 67,

which takes your total up to an unbeatable 167.

-Richard?

-Yeah. Big sigh of relief from Ali there.

Torchwood. It's an anagram of Doctor Who, as well.

Let's look at the rest of the board. If you had given the same answer,

if you'd said Dallas, it would have scored you a much lower 38 points.

Mork And Mindy was a spin-off from Happy Days,

believe it or not. That would have scored you 11 points.

It became as famous as Happy Days.

Benson was a spin-off from Soap. Would have scored you seven.

And the best answer of all, very obscure -

a spin-off from The Cosby Show, A Different World.

Would have scored three. Very well done if you got that one.

OK. Thank you very much, Richard. At the end of round two,

the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid, Lynne and Glenys.

It was quite tough, this. A lot of American shows there.

My favourite's Frasier. I still watch that now.

A lot more successful than Cheers, I'd say.

No. Cheers, probably the most successful US sitcom of all time

apart from, maybe, M*A*S*H. Frasier very successful, though.

Well, sadly you're not incredibly successful in this round.

However, we will see you again next time,

when I have every confidence you will storm it through to the final.

Meanwhile, thanks for playing. Great contestants. Lynne and Glenys.

-APPLAUSE

-But for the remaining two pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Very well done, Diane and Marc, Ali and Lucy.

You've made it through to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it to the final and play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £4,000.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

You'll go head-to-head on the best of three.

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer,

but you are now allowed to confer. You have to come up with an answer

that scores less than the other pair.

The first pair to the best of three will play for today's jackpot.

Let's play Pointless.

OK. Here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many winners of the Cricket World Cup as they could.

We're looking for any team that has won cricket's World Cup

from the first tournament in 1975 up to and including 2011.

OK. Thanks very much. Diane and Marc,

you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

So, we're looking for winners of the Cricket World Cup.

THEY WHISPER

-THEY LAUGH

-Er, we don't know.

-I think I know.

-Go on, then.

Um, you don't...

-SHE SIGHS

-I'm going to say India.

India.

OK, very good.

India. I'll take India. Ali and Lucy...

-What do you think?

-Sport's kind of my...

-I would've thought India.

-India and Pakistan are both...

They're definitely one, I'm pretty sure.

I'm not sure which one would be lower.

-Well, we can't go for India, so...

-But there's also England,

there's South Africa... There's some big cricketing nations.

-Is South Africa low?

-I don't know if they've won it,

but since 1970... I don't know how often it is,

if it's every year or every two years.

Cricket's not my sport. If you want to go safe, I'd say Pakistan.

If you want to go risky, we can go for something...

I don't really know, so it's up to you.

-Pakistan. I think it's safe.

-You're going to say Pakistan.

We have India, we have Pakistan. Let's put them to the test.

Diane and Marc said India. Let's see if that's right,

and how many people said India.

Yes, of course.

78 for India.

APPLAUSE

Ali and Lucy have gone with Pakistan.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Pakistan.

78 is what you have to beat.

It's right...and it wins.

-54!

-APPLAUSE

54 beats 78, so after the first question,

Ali and Lucy are up one-nil. Richard?

Well done, and lucky you didn't say England or South Africa,

because neither of them have ever won it.

There are five answers. A couple would have beaten Pakistan.

The West Indies won the first two tournaments. 36.

Sri Lanka won in 1996. That would have scored you 39.

Pakistan won it in 1992, Imran Khan's last game. That was 54.

India there, 78. They've won it twice.

And, typically, Australia right at the top.

They've won four times, and would have scored 81.

-Well done if you got all of those.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Here is your second question. Diane and Marc, you have to win this

to stay in the game. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Pink Ladies and T-Birds in Grease as they could.

Yes, any original members of the Pink Ladies or the T-Birds

in the film Grease, and we're looking for the character names,

-not the actors' or actresses'.

-Thank you very much.

Ali and Lucy, you get to go first this time.

-OK.

-You look very pleased with this category, Lucy.

I like Grease.

Um, we're going to say Marty.

Marty. OK.

Ali and Lucy going with Marty.

-Diane and Marc?

-I think that's a very good answer,

and I think I'm going to struggle to beat it.

-My mind's gone blank!

-There's Frenchy

and Kernickie, but I think they're probably quite high-scoring.

Er, Rizzo...

-You have to win this to stay in the game.

-Kernickie.

-Go on. Kernickie.

-Kernickie.

-Kernickie.

OK. Marty and Kernickie. In the order they were given,

Ali and Lucy have gone with Marty. If you win this point,

you are through to the final. Marty.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

Down it goes. Down it goes! Look at that. Two for Marty!

CHEERING / APPLAUSE

Marty.

That's a brilliant answer, Lucy. Very well done.

Now, Marc and Diane, let's see if Kernickie's right,

and if it is, how many people said Kernickie.

Loads!

Oh! 12!

APPLAUSE

Not a bad answer at all for Diane and Marc.

Kernickie. A great score.

Sadly, Marty was two. There's no beating that.

Which means, after only two questions,

Ali and Lucy are through to the final. Richard?

Good teamwork from Ali and Lucy. Ali wins the first point,

Lucy wins the second one. Through to the final.

There would have been some beating Marty. Let's look at those answers.

Putzie and Jan would have scored one point.

Sonny would have scored you two, as would Marty and Doody.

Kernickie there with 12, played by the late Jeff Conaway, of course.

There's Frenchy on 19, Rizzo, 24, and right at the top, Danny on 40.

Thanks very much. So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Diane and Marc. Did you know any of those other ones?

-Yeah.

-They just eluded you when the pressure was on.

I was thinking of Putz, but I couldn't have come up with Putzie.

I was remembering a line from Grease,

when a name was in it, but...

-You gave us two pointless answers in round one.

-I did, yes.

-Didn't we?

-You shone from the start.

You will shine again. You made it through to the head-to-head.

You'll be back next time, when I'm sure you will do as well

if not better, but thanks for playing.

-Great contestants. Thanks.

-APPLAUSE

But for Ali and Lucy, it's now time for our Pointless final,

and the chance to win our jackpot of £4,000.

Congratulations, Ali and Lucy. You've fought off the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very, very well done.

You now have a chance to win our jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £4,000.

There it is.

The rules are very simple. To win that money,

all you have to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people could think of.

We've had two on the show today, so you only have to find one more

to go home with that money. First you've got to choose a category,

and you can choose from these three options.

-None of them are great, are they?

-They're all a bit horrid. Um...

-What do you reckon to screen icons?

-Out of the three,

I think screen icons is probably...

I mean, pop legends is so... I know literally a handful,

and then the rest would be a problem.

Fashion is so broad. It could be anything.

-It's between the top two. How much do you know about fashion?

-Not a lot.

-Screen icons?

-OK. Screen icons.

-Screen icons it is,

by a process of elimination. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Audrey Hepburn films as they could.

Audrey Hepburn films. Richard?

Any feature film made for cinema release

for which Audrey Hepburn has received an acting credit.

TV films, short films, documentaries don't count.

-Any Audrey Hepburn film, please.

-You now have up to one minute

to come up with three answers, and all you need

to win that £4,000 jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-What do you reckon?

-I don't know.

I know Breakfast At Tiffany's. That's definitely not pointless.

Throw it in as a right answer. I can't think of...

-I can just about picture her.

-There's so many that...

I don't think I would ever know any pointless ones.

Can you think of any trigger word that might make up a title

-that could be the title?

-No!

I don't... I can't even think... I can't even think...

-What era was in it? '50s, '60s?

-I think '50s. It's old.

LAUGHTER

-We're young.

-They're old films.

-This is not good.

Are we just going to make up titles and hope they sound good?

-What do we guess, though?

-Old films.

-Murder On The Orient Express.

-OK, yeah. That's all.

-Was she in it?

-Hopefully.

There's two. Come up with a third one that sounds like a film title,

-that would have her in it.

-I can't. This is really annoying me.

-I can't think of one she's in.

-Got to come up with one quickly.

-Bella.

-OK, Bella.

-Right.

OK. You have three titles.

Your time is up. We were looking for Audrey Hepburn film titles.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

-We only really knew one.

-You knew one.

I'm pretty sure it's her biggest film,

so it won't be pointless, but we have one right answer at least.

-That's Breakfast At Tiffany's.

-Breakfast At Tiffany's. OK.

I doubt if she's in it, but Murder On The Orient Express.

-Murder On The Orient Express.

-And the third one,

in the last five seconds I came up with a made-up title.

I think she's good-looking, isn't she?

-Yeah.

-So Bella, which is...

-Bella.

-Good luck.

Brilliant. It might be a film, and she might be in it.

OK. Which do you think is your most confident punt?

-Breakfast At Tiffany's.

-We'll put that third.

-Least confident?

-Bella.

Bella. We'll put that up first.

Let's put them up on the board in that order, and there they are.

Three answers. We were looking for Audrey Hepburn films.

You said this was your least confident answer.

It's a film you've actually just made up.

-Yeah. Sounds good, though.

-There's a film called Bella.

In fact there might be several...remakes...

-THEY LAUGH

-..in Italian.

THEY LAUGH

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £4,000.

Let's see if Bella's correct, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Bella.

Ooh!

Alas,

Bella not a film with Audrey Hepburn in it.

Unfortunately not a pointless answer.

Two more chances to win £4,000.

-What would you do with £4,000?

-Not get a job.

THEY LAUGH

-Um, go on holiday.

-Yeah.

We could survive without a job with £4,000.

-And a holiday.

-Brilliant.

-Just live frugally.

-You can watch lots of Audrey Hepburn DVDs.

OK. Your next answer is Murder On The Orient Express.

Does it have a little sort of gamine Audrey Hepburn figure in it?

Let's find out! Audrey Hepburn, Murder On The Orient Express.

Is that right, and if it is, how many people said it?

Oh! Bad luck!

Unfortunately also not a correct answer, so therefore not pointless,

which means you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Well, I know this is right, but I don't think it's pointless.

This is right. This is right, you think?

Breakfast At Tiffany's. We are looking for Audrey Hepburn films.

This is your last shot at today's jackpot of £4,000.

You have to hope that it's right and it is pointless.

Breakfast At Tiffany's. How many people said it?

Is it correct?

There we are. It's right. It's right.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you are leaving -

-Oh!

-THEY LAUGH

APPLAUSE

With £4,000, I was about to say.

Unfortunately 58 people knew that,

so I'm afraid it's not a pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £4,000,

but you have been fantastic contestants,

and you do get to take home our Pointless trophy, so well done.

APPLAUSE

-So, Richard?

-Unlucky, guys. You played very well throughout.

I would recommend a weekend's Audrey Hepburn marathon, though.

She made some absolutely brilliant films.

Charade, Wait Until Dark, Funny Face - you would love them all.

There's a whole bunch of pointless answers.

Let's talk about Murder On The Orient Express, though -

the big '70s version was Lauren Bacall and Ingrid Bergman,

but no Audrey Hepburn. Let's take a look at some pointless ones.

Always was her last-ever film. She donated her entire fee to UNICEF.

Bloodline, How To Steal A Million, a brilliant film with Peter O'Toole.

Love In The Afternoon, The Secret People, They All Laughed, all of these pointless answers.

Very well done if you got those. Two For The Road,

We Will All Go To Monte Carlo and Young Wives' Tale,

-but very well played, and tough luck.

-We have to say goodbye to you,

but it's been brilliant having you on the show. Thank you for playing.

APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over,

which means on the next show, we will be playing for £5,000.

-THEY CHEER

-Join us then.

-See if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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