Episode 13 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless

where we put obscure knowledge to the test. Let's meet the players.

First, we welcome Adam and Pippa, our first pair on the show today.

-How do you two know each other?

-We met at work.

We worked at an airline. We met in the call centre nine years ago.

-And your eyes met...?

-Over a printer.

-Over a printer?

-Yes.

-Where have you come from, Adam?

-Crawley Down, a village just outside Crawley, hence the name.

Very good. Pippa, what are you hoping is going to come up?

I would love celebrities to come up, any kind of celebrities,

anything from the gossip magazines, that's my forte.

-Adam, what do you do in your spare time?

-I manage a football team.

-Very good. So football would be a strong suit for you?

-I'd like to think so.

-Any other niche interests?

Celebrity voiceover work in adverts.

-What?

-When you watch adverts at home, I can probably name the voice more often than not.

As random as people like... Caroline Quentin was on the other day and I picked out that voice.

-You should do some advert voiceovers(!)

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

-It's something that's missing?

-Yeah.

I saw an advert the other day which you didn't do the voiceover for. I could not believe it.

-Was it Caroline Quentin?

-Yeah, it was Caroline Quentin.

Very good indeed. Best of luck, Adam and Pippa. Great to have you here.

Next we welcome Jon and Paul. I'm about to say, "How do you know each other?" I think I know.

-Brothers.

-You're right. We're brothers.

-George and Ringo are at home, are they?

-Yes.

-Yeah, I believe.

-Where have you come from?

-Lancashire. Can you tell?

-I'm beginning to. Paul, what do you do?

-I'm a high school teacher, teaching science.

-Teaching science.

You've admitted that up front. So science questions for you...

-Are you slightly dreading science questions?

-Probably. Biology, not so bad, other ones, who knows?

-Chemistry not necessarily your...?

-No, biology is my strength, physics and chemistry are not.

-Traditionally, teachers come on this show and do terribly.

-Yeah.

-Jon, how about you?

-Hairdresser.

-A hairdresser rather than a barber?

-Either.

I don't mind. I'm a hairdresser... In fact, the correct terminology is "stylist".

-You're a stylist?

-Yeah.

-Jon, hobbies when you're not cutting hair?

-Cars mainly.

-Cars.

-Cars of varying sorts. The older, the better.

-Are you quite a mechanic?

-No, no, no, no.

-I'm just interested.

-But an old car, you sort of almost need to be...

-You know that '60s, '70s...?

-Yeah.

-You need to know a good mechanic.

We should do a show that combines hairdressing and cars and call it Primp My Ride.

-LAUGHTER

-Very good.

Very best of luck. Lovely to have you on the show.

Next we welcome back Pam and Andrew. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

-Remind us how you know each other.

-Andrew is a friend of my son Martin.

When I was trying to get on the show, no-one would come on with me,

but Martin texted Andrew and Andrew said of course he would come on with me.

-You know your way around the show?

-Yes, I do, but my answers aren't necessarily good ones.

You had a tough category. You had Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell in the first round.

It was before my time. As you can tell, I'm only 12(!)

LAUGHTER

What's going to be the perfect round for you? What's going to be the best question?

-Anything about Newcastle United.

-OK, anything about Newcastle United. Pam?

-Same for me, anything about Newcastle United.

-Welcome back to the show. Let's see more of you this time.

Finally, we welcome back Richard and Emma. You were on the show last time. Remind us what happened.

-We got to the second round. We blew out with scientists.

-Alfred Nobel.

-I thought he was from Norway, but he was from Sweden.

-Good guess.

-Yeah.

I was convinced he was from Norway.

-Remind us how you know each other.

-This is my daughter.

-What will see you through to the final?

-Non-sport and non-scientists might be an idea.

-OK.

-Star Trek. I'm a big Star Trek fan and you watch it, so anything to do with Star Trek captains.

-Any other strange interests?

-Colonial history for me, I think.

-Eurovision Song Contests for me.

-Eurovision Song Contests.

-SpongeBob.

-He wasn't in that though.

-No.

-Not yet.

Best of luck. We will find out more about all of you during the show.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He has so many spare obscure facts, he keeps some at his aunt's house.

-He's my pointless friend Richard.

-Hiya. Hello.

APPLAUSE

-Was that a Tinie Tempah reference?

-That was a Tinie Tempah...

-At teatime on BBC-1?

-Yeah, a bit of teatime Tinie Tempah.

-Excellent. It should be a cracking show today. Two returning pairs.

Richard and Emma were very unlucky last time. I think they may go all the way today.

I'm amazed when someone like Paul comes on who's a teacher... Forget that your students are watching.

But the parents of your students are watching.

They're watching you and he's going, "Yeah, I'm a science teacher. Biology, pretty good.

"Physics, I don't really...

"Chemistry..." They're sitting at home going, "But you're teaching our children GCSE!"

"Yeah, chemistry is a bit..."

Good news for our last two pairs.

-This first round is "Name a captain of Newcastle United or the Starship Enterprise".

-Thank you, Richard.

Our questions were put to 100 people before the show, but we want the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot, our players need to score as few points as they can.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Every time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

Very good. Let's play Pointless.

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

An incorrect answer will score the maximum of 100 points.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our Round 1 question concerns...

Literary works and their three-named authors, Richard?

You'll see seven literary works on each pass, each written by an author with three names.

The more obscure authors will score you fewer points, but an incorrect answer will score 100 points.

-There'll be 14 in all for you to have a go at at home.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Adam and Pippa, you drew lots before the show and you get to go first.

We are looking for the three-named authors of these literary works. We have got...

I'll read those one more time.

There are the books.

We want the three-named author of the most obscure one you know.

Looking at that board, I'm familiar with one, so I'm glad I'm going first.

If I get this wrong, I'll be slightly embarrassed. I'm going to go for Treasure Island.

I know two of the names. I hope the third one is correct. I'll go for John Louis Stevenson.

John Louis Stevenson for Treasure Island. Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people knew it.

Good luck.

Bad luck, Adam.

Bad luck. That's an incorrect answer which, I'm afraid, means you score the maximum of 100 points.

Now then, Jon, we are looking for the three-named authors of these literary works.

-This is tricky.

-Mm-hm.

Three, I know, and I'm going to go for The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle.

Arthur Conan Doyle, Hound Of The Baskervilles, says Jon.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer - Arthur Conan Doyle.

It's right.

28.

-I'll take that.

-28 for Arthur Conan Doyle.

Good start, Jon. Originally, just Arthur Doyle, but after graduation, added the Conan to his writing name.

Andrew, we are looking for the people who wrote these books and they all have three names.

-Is this a good round?

-Terrible. Literature is not my subject.

It's mainly biographies that I read at home.

The only author that I can think of, I'm going to say possibly wrote Treasure Island,

Hans Christian Andersen?

Hans Christian Andersen, Treasure Island.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer as well, Andrew, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

Richard, you're the last person to have this board. Talk us through it.

I've seen Secret Garden, I've seen Tarzan,

-I've seen Treasure Island.

-Seen?

-On the TV.

-I've seen the other two, but I've never read them.

-I see.

-I think I know Tarzan Of The Apes. I think it's Edgar Rice Burroughs.

-Edgar Rice Burroughs for Tarzan.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

Very well done, Richard.

Down it goes. That's a great answer.

5.

Very well done. Edgar Rice Burroughs?

Just like last time, starting very strongly. Edgar Rice Burroughs,

before he was an author, he was a cowboy, a gold dredger and a railway detective.

-Then Tarzan made him a millionaire.

-Wow!

-Let's go through the board.

Let's clear up the mysterious case of who wrote Treasure Island. It was ROBERT Louis Stevenson.

Yeah, tough luck. 43 points, that would have scored you.

The author of The Secret Garden was Frances Hodgson Burnett. Scored 11.

Little House On The Prairie, that's a tricky one.

Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote it. That would have scored you 2 points.

Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray. That scored 4.

The best answer on the board, Gorky Park by Martin Cruz Smith, 1 point.

Very well done if you got them all.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

Richard and Emma, what a great answer! 5, lovely low score there.

Then we go up to 28 where we find Jon and Paul, also looking safe.

Then we come to our 100s - Andrew and Pam and Adam and Pippa.

You'll have to tussle it out between you. I think one of you two will be leaving us at the end of this round.

-Andrew and Pam have to be careful. They got 200 last time.

-They could be in the 400 Club.

That's a really elite group.

Best of luck. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

We'll put seven more literary works on the board and here they are.

I'll read those all one more time.

There we are. Now then, Emma, if you can score 94 or less, you are through to the next round.

I've only read one of those. I've read The Number One Ladies' Detective Agency

and I can't remember the name. He just won't come to me.

I'll just make up a name because I don't know any of the others.

So I'll go for The Number One Ladies' Detective Agency

and we'll say James...Robert Brown. That's a nice...

-James Robert Brown.

-Nice name.

-It's a good name.

-It is.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, it would be brilliant!

-Wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-Here's your red line. It's a lovely, high red line.

Let's see if James Robert Brown is right as our author and if it is, how many people said it.

-Yeah, we knew that was coming, Emma.

-Yeah.

That's an incorrect answer. It scored you 100 points. It takes your total up to 105.

-Pam...

-No pressure!

-The high scorers are Emma and Richard on 105. If you can score 4 or less, through you go.

Pygmalion, I think, is George Bernard Shaw, but I'm not sure.

George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

There's your red line. Let's see how George Bernard Shaw does for you.

It's right.

Look at that. Very well done, Pam.

-15.

-APPLAUSE

15 for George Bernard Shaw. It takes your total up to 115.

-Richard?

-Well played, Pam. Avoided the 400 Club and then some! Great answer.

-Pygmalion was turned into a musical, My Fair Lady, with a slightly happier ending.

-Thank you very much.

Paul, we are looking for the people who wrote these books.

I'm afraid the only one I knew has gone. Fortunately, Jon was first up. I don't know any of the others.

The high scorers are Pam and Andrew on 115. You're on 28. You've got a margin of 86.

-Although that won't help you at all if you don't know any of them.

-It won't help me at all.

I'll have to make something up like Emma did,

so I'm going to say Antony Worrall Thompson.

LAUGHTER

-Which book are you attributing to him?

-American Psycho, Antony Worrall Thompson.

-LAUGHTER

-American Psycho...

Antony Worrall Thompson.

Here's your red line.

If you get below that red line, I will eat the column.

LAUGHTER

He might even have a recipe for it.

-Hmm, delicious!

-Antony Worrall Thompson, is it right, how many people said it?

Oh, bad luck, Paul.

An incorrect answer, not Antony Worrall Thompson.

You score 100 points. It takes your total up to 128.

You are the new high scorers. Pippa, this is a very, very exciting last answer.

The high scorers are now Paul and Jon on 128. You're on 100.

A score of 27 or less will keep you in the game.

-No.

-Really?

-I'd love to say I know all of them.

-Do you know any of them?

-No.

I'm going to guess at The Emperor's New Clothes

and I'll say Hans Christian Andersen.

The Emperor's New Clothes, Hans Christian Andersen.

There's your red line. If you get below it, you are in the next round.

Hans Christian Andersen, says Pippa. Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's a great guess, Pippa. Look at that!

And you're through to the next round.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed. It scores you 17. It takes your total up to 117.

Very, very well played. Well done, you. Richard?

I've seen some people qualify in fluky ways before, but that is spectacular. Very well played.

Hans Christian Andersen was born in 1805. Once went to stay with Charles Dickens and stayed for five weeks.

Dickens couldn't get rid of him. Used to sob uncontrollably when he read a review. He's a bit like you.

Do you remember that time you came to my house for tea? Literally, a month later, you're still there,

-sobbing uncontrollably at your reviews.

-Crying into the cake.

-Every single one just scathing.

-Terrible.

-Some of them were nice about Ben Miller. Some of them said Ben is good.

But all of them to a man just brutal about your performance, your appearance.

-Everything.

-I'm welling up again now, Richard. Get me a cake!

No, it's fine. It's fine.

I just say, "Thank the Lord for voiceover work!"

Let's take a look through the rest of this board. It's absolute carnage here.

I suspect some people at home have done very well. Little Women is Louisa May Alcott.

Would have scored you 30 points.

The Number One Ladies' Detective Agency is Alexander McCall Smith.

-Does that ring a bell?

-Yes, it does.

It would have scored you 5 points.

American Psycho, not written by Antony Worrall Thompson, but written by Bret Easton Ellis. 2 points.

The Last Of The Mohicans written by James Fenimore Cooper. Would have scored you 1.

And the Tales Of Uncle Remus, a pointless answer, was written by Joel Chandler Harris.

Very well done if you got all 14 of them at home.

Thanks, Richard. So at the end of Round 1, the losing pair with the highest score is Jon and Paul.

-It wasn't science.

-No, thankfully.

-That was a rotten round for you.

At least you don't have a school full of children who can take the mick out of you(!)

There is that. Paul, Jon, we'll see you again next time. Thanks so much for playing.

-Paul and Jon!

-Thank you. APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round 2.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head, so one team will leave us after this round.

OK, our Round 2 category is...

Decide in your pairs who's going first and second. Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

Let's find out what our question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many UK Top 40 singles by Coldplay, Snow Patrol or the Arctic Monkeys as they could.

-Richard?

-Yeah, we're looking for any UK Top 40 single by any of these three bands -

Coldplay, Snow Patrol or Arctic Monkeys, before the end of 2011.

Where there have been double-A sides, we will accept either answer.

We will be very strict on the wording of those titles, so be careful. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now then, Adam, is this good for you?

-Yes, it should be, yes.

-Good.

-Oh, yes.

-"Oh, yes."

Are you a fan of any of these bands?

All three. That will probably make my answer not as impressive as it should be.

If you know all these bands so well, you might confuse their album tracks for singles.

Yes, that is a distinct possibility.

I've got songs going in my head and I'm trying to remember if they were released as singles.

I'm going to go for a track by Snow Patrol called Chocolate.

Chocolate by Snow Patrol.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Chocolate.

It's right.

-Phew!

-Phew-ey!

Down it goes, a Chocolate drop.

Oh, 5!

APPLAUSE

-Not pointless, but who cares? 5 points is an excellent score.

-That'll do.

-Very well done, Adam.

Good start, Adam. From 2004, one of their early Top 40 singles, reached number 24.

Pam, we are looking for Top 40 singles by Coldplay, Snow Patrol or the Arctic Monkeys.

Are you a fan at all of Snow Patrol, Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay?

I've heard of Coldplay, but I don't know the other two. I'll have to make a name up.

-Believe.

-I was really hoping you were going to say Antony Worrall Thompson.

-Believe?

-Mm-hm.

-We've got the complete oeuvre of three bands.

It's not entirely unlikely that one had a single called Believe.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said Believe.

Bad luck, Pam. Unfortunately, an incorrect answer, so you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Richard?

-Sorry, Pam. It sounds like a Coldplay single.

-You can imagine that closing Glastonbury.

-Yeah, Believe.

-Lighters aloft.

It's also the sort of thing he would call one of his kids.

Believe Banana Martin.

Now then, Emma.

I don't like any of these, either.

-Right.

-I'll have to go for one I think is right, but a very high scorer.

Hang on. Aren't Arctic Monkeys from Sheffield?

I just don't like them. I think they're a bit of a row.

-So I'm going to say Chasing Cars.

-OK. Chasing Cars.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Chasing Cars.

It's right.

Oh, it's not bad! Down it goes - 17.

Really not bad at all, Emma.

-A surprisingly low score.

-But you've got 100 seconds to name songs.

It doesn't have a big chorus saying the title. Spent 94 weeks in the top 75.

-It was the most played record of the decade.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

OK, we're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores. Adam...

It wasn't pointless, but look at it. Five. In this context, that's a cracking score.

Then up to 17. Great score from Emma.

Then 100. Sorry, Pam and Andrew. But Andrew, I have high hopes. Let's see.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Now then, Richard. You're on 17. The high scorers are on 100.

If you can score 82 or less, you are through. Is this good for you?

No. Not at all.

-I'll make a wild stab. Be My Sunshine.

-Be My Sunshine.

-No idea!

OK, Be My Sunshine is what Richard is submitting.

There's your red line. If you get below that, you're through.

Is it right?

Oh, bad luck.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer, which you probably knew.

That scores 100 points and takes you up to 117.

That sounds less like a Coldplay song. They won't let you back into Sheffield after this.

That is right.

Andrew, we're looking for Top 40 singles by Coldplay, Snow Patrol or the Arctic Monkeys.

You're on 100. This is a bit of a lifeline for you.

-It certainly is.

-Richard and Emma are on 117.

-If you can score 16 or less, through you go.

-I think I'm going to have to chase a low score here.

I know four songs between Coldplay and Arctic Monkeys, even though I'd not listen to them.

-What do you listen to?

-The Spice Girls, things like that.

LAUGHTER

-I'm more into my hip hop.

-Right.

-Snoop Dogg, that type of thing.

-Did you like our little Tinie Tempah thing?

-I was very impressed. Very impressed.

One of the Arctic Monkeys songs might be lower, but I'm not sure if it was just an album track.

I have got an Arctic Monkeys album, although I don't listen to it.

-So I'm going to try that one and I'm going to say Mardy Bum.

-Mardy Bum.

Here's your red line. Get below that and you are through.

Mardy Bum. Is it right and how many people said it?

Oh, Andrew! Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer

which means you score the maximum of 100 points, which takes you to 200 - you are now in the 400 Club!

APPLAUSE

That was a good answer, but it wasn't right. Richard?

They're only sort of in the 400 Club.

If you get 200 in the first round, both times, that's proper 400 Club.

Mardy Bum is one of their better-known songs, but never a single. Good answer, but wrong.

Yeah.

Pippa, you're on five. You are through, whatever happens.

-Are you as good on these as Adam?

-Not as good, no, but I... I know a few.

I think everyone else knows them as well.

I'm going to take a guess. I'm not sure if it's the right name and I'm not sure it was a single.

I'll say God Put A Smile Upon Your Face by Coldplay.

God Put A Smile Upon Your Face. No red line.

You are through, whatever happens. But for fun, let's see... Is it right?

No!

It's not right. It scores you 100 points and couldn't matter less.

You are through to the next round. 105, not a terrible total. Richard?

Just an album track as well, that. There's some very big songs there - Fix You, Yellow, Clocks by Coldplay.

Chasing Cars, Run. I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor was the biggest one for Arctic Monkeys.

Let's look at the pointless answers. Some people at home will have these.

Called Out In The Dark, that's Snow Patrol. Crying Lightning, by the Arctic Monkeys.

Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair, an Arctic Monkeys song about health and safety.

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall. How To Be Dead and Just Say Yes, both by Snow Patrol.

Princess of China, which was Coldplay and Rihanna.

Signal Fire, which is Snow Patrol, and Talk, another Coldplay single. Very well done if you got any.

Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair with the highest score is Pam and Andrew.

-This isn't how it was meant to be.

-Not at all.

-No.

-I thought you were going to pull it back there.

I thought you'd have a brilliant pointless answer and make the final.

-It was how it was meant to be.

-Maybe I should have played safer.

-Did you know any of those pointless ones?

-None of them, but some Coldplay songs.

-We haven't given you very good rounds.

-Stinkers!

-I know. Stinkers.

I hate to tell you. Of the six questions you've given us, five have been 100 scorers.

Absolute crackers(!)

I'm so sorry. Thank you for coming all the way from Northumberland. Andrew and Pam!

But for the remaining two pairs it gets even more exciting now as we enter the Head to Head.

Congratulations. You are now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot that currently stands at £3,500.

Ooh!

Only one pair can make it through to the final. To decide which pair it will be,

you will now go head to head.

For each question, you get five options. Each pair gives just one answer and you're allowed to confer.

Score less than the other pair to win that question. The first pair to win two plays for the jackpot.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...waterfalls.

-Waterfalls. Richard?

-Coldplay sang Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall.

We'll show you five pictures of waterfalls. Identify them, please. The most obscure one will win.

OK, thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five waterfalls.

OK, now Adam and Pippa are going to go first. This happens very rarely in Pointless,

in fact, it's only happened once, but you're completely tied.

Normally the pair that goes first has had the best score throughout, but you are absolutely even.

So Adam and Pippa are going first just by being nearer to me.

We are looking for the most obscure of those waterfalls. Good luck!

Right. We're going to say A is Niagara Falls.

-A, Niagara Falls.

-Yes.

-OK. Are you sure of that?

-No!

-No.

-We don't know any of the others, so that's all we've got.

A you are saying is Niagara Falls. Richard and Emma, you can now talk aloud.

-I don't know any of them.

-No.

-And you can go for A if you have a better...

No, I think one might be Victoria. And I think it might be...B.

You're going to say B, Victoria Falls.

So we have A, Niagara Falls, B, Victoria Falls.

Adam and Pippa, Niagara Falls. Is it right and, if it is, how many people said A was Niagara Falls?

It's right!

38.

-38. Well done.

-At least it's right!

Phew! Richard and Emma, you have gone for Victoria Falls.

-Is that a complete punt?

-I have no idea.

-Yeah, Africa. Possible. Don't know.

-OK, let's see if you're right.

Victoria Falls, B, you are saying.

Let's see if they are indeed the Victoria Falls and how many said it.

It's right!

Very well done!

And it wins you the question! Five - that's a great answer.

Very well done. That's the second five you've had on this show.

-After one question, Richard and Emma are up one-nil. Richard?

-Very well played, Richard.

Between Zambia and Zimbabwe. I thought first one, Niagara Falls, second one...is that Niagara Falls?

Victoria Falls was B. C is the Iguazu Falls between Brazil and Argentina.

That would have scored 3 points.

The best answer of all is D, which is the Rhine Falls in Switzerland.

That was a pointless answer.

And the final one, in Venezuela. The Angel Falls.

That would have scored 14 points. Very well done if you got all of those at home.

-They're scary, waterfalls.

-Yeah.

-If there was no water, you'd go, "Wow!"

-On that scale, they're not scary.

-On THAT scale.

-Angel Falls, that's scary.

-Angel Falls is massive.

-Scary.

Scary Falls.

There we are. Here comes your second question and it concerns... James Bond.

-James Bond. Richard?

-We'll show you five clues to facts about James Bond and the most obscure fact wins.

OK, thank you very much. Adam and Pippa, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about James Bond. Here they come.

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those again.

There we are. Richard and Emma, you go first this time.

-Yeah.

-Do you think it's that?

-We'll go for a man famous in the field of bird-watching.

Bird-watching. Adam and Pippa?

-The novel I think is Sebastian Faulks. That's the one I've got.

-OK.

-He marries in the film with George Lazenby, but I can't remember the name of that.

-I don't know.

-The story he first appeared in would be Dr No.

-Go for the author.

-Sebastian Faulks.

Remember, you have to win this one.

OK, we'll go for the author of the first post-Fleming Bond novel and say Sebastian Faulks.

Sebastian Faulks. We have bird-watching from Richard and Emma, Sebastian Faulks for Adam and Pippa.

Let's take it in that order. The man after whom Bond is named is famous in which field?

You are saying bird-watching. Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right. It's right.

Oh, down that goes. Look at that - two!

Wow.

-You have to beat that, Adam and Pippa.

-It's been a pleasure being here...

Sebastian Faulks you are saying as the name of the first post-Fleming Bond author.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Oh, bad luck!

That's an incorrect answer. Richard and Emma, you are through to the final 2-0. Well done, Richard.

APPLAUSE

It's a good wrong answer, Adam. He wrote Devil May Care recently,

but it was Kingsley Amis who wrote the first one. He wrote Colonel Sun as Robert Markham.

It scored one point, so well done if you said it.

Ornithology. He wrote Bird of the West Indies, James Bond. Let's take a look at the rest.

The one-letter pseudonym is the big scorer. M, of course.

That would have scored you 68 points. The story he first appeared in was Casino Royale. Scored 17.

-And the novel in which he marries?

-On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Absolutely right. 10 points. Very well done if you got all five.

Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair, I'm sorry, Adam and Pippa, it's you.

-They were tough, those rounds.

-Really tough.

-That waterfall one!

-I've been to Niagara Falls and still wasn't sure.

-Was it quite scary?

-It is.

-Not on that scale.

Angel Falls, I look at it and think, "Aah! Aah!"

-But ornithology - they knew the bird-watching.

-Brilliant.

-They deserved to go through on that.

-Thank you.

-Graciously said.

We'll see you again next time. Meanwhile, thank you for playing. Adam and Pippa, great contestants.

But for Richard and Emma it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations. You have fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and the jackpot stands at £3,500.

The rules are very simple. All you need is a pointless answer.

We haven't had any today. You only need to find one now.

Firstly, choose a category and you have five options. Here they are. You've got...

-Not rugby. Not classical music.

-No.

So whatever you want from London, American Actors or Flags.

Yeah, right, OK.

-American Actors?

-Go on, then.

-American Actors, please.

-Let's find out the question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Jake Gyllenhaal films as they could.

Jake Gyllenhaal films. Richard?

Any feature film made for cinema release

for which Jake Gyllenhaal received an acting credit, up to 2011.

No TV films, shorts, documentaries. Voice performances do count.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win the £3,500 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are. The time starts now.

-OK, who is he?

-I don't know.

-Oh, good(!)

-So think of three names.

-Three films?

-Yeah. I've no idea.

-Planet of the Apes?

-Yeah, fine.

-Em...

-How about The Rock? We watched it the other day.

-No, no.

Something new?

-Like what?

-I don't know. The Thing?

-Yeah, fine.

-I've no idea.

-What about Sherlock Holmes and...?

-Yeah, Sherlock Holmes.

-The second one, isn't that Game of Shadows?

-Go for it.

-So what are we saying?

-Sherlock Holmes.

-The Thing.

-Yeah.

-And Planet of the Apes.

-Yes.

OK, we'll stop the clock. We want Jake Gyllenhaal films.

-I now need your three answers.

-Planet of the Apes, The Thing,

-Sherlock Holmes: The Game of Shadows.

-Sherlock Holmes: The Game of Shadows.

-Which do you want to put last?

-They're all probably wrong. Have The Thing last?

-No, The Thing can be first.

-All right, The Thing first.

-And Sherlock Holmes second?

-Yeah.

-And Planet of the Apes third.

-Yeah, please.

OK, let's put them in that order.

We were looking for Jake Gyllenhaal films. This was your least likely answer to be pointless.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that £3,500 jackpot.

Let's see if anyone said The Thing and let's see if it's correct.

No. Bad luck.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer. Two more shots at today's jackpot. Let's say you won.

-What would you do with it?

-I'd go to Disneyworld with my boyfriend.

I've always wanted to go. It's always been a dream that's out there. And it'll stay that way!

-But, you know, we can hope.

-You can.

-Richard?

-I'll subsidise Bank of Dad for a few days.

-OK. Very good. Keep the creditors happy.

We're looking for Jake Gyllenhaal films. Let's hope nobody said Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

This has to be pointless and correct for you to win that £3,500.

Is it right?

No! Bad luck.

Only one more shot at today's jackpot. Your final answer is Planet of the Apes.

Let's see if it's right. Has to be right, has to be pointless. Planet of the Apes.

No! Bad luck!

-Shock(!)

-Well...

That was a really tough, tough category. You didn't find that crucial pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500, which will roll over. But you were brilliant contestants

-and you do, of course, take home our fabulous Pointless trophy, so there you are.

-Yes!

-Richard?

-I can highly recommend Jake Gyllenhaal. Most famous for Brokeback Mountain.

That's probably his most famous film. Also Donnie Darko, Zodiac, Source Code. That's Jake Gyllenhaal.

Let's look at the pointless answers. Someone at home will get these.

A Dangerous Woman, directed by his dad, written by his mum.

Josh and S.A.M., Lovely and Amazing, that was a pointless answer.

And Moonlight Mile. Very well done if you got one of those pointless answers.

Well, very sadly, we have to say goodbye to Richard and Emma. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

Unfortunately, they didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over.

On the next show we'll be playing for £4,500.

-Join us then. Meanwhile, goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2012