Episode 18 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Tom and Jock. You are our first players on the show today.

-How do you know each other?

-We're brothers.

-Where are you from, Jock?

-South west Scotland, a place called Kirkcudbright.

-What do you do?

-I'm studying as an accountant.

-Whereabouts are you doing that?

-In London. I moved down in September.

-Newly in London.

-Jock, how about you?

-I just graduated in the summer

-and I'm now working as a busker.

-Working as a busker. Where are you doing that?

-In Glasgow with my bagpipes.

-With your bagpipes! Wow!

How popular are you when you set up your pitch?

-I think the Glaswegians are used to it now.

-They should be.

Tom, what are you hoping will come up this afternoon?

Maybe a bit of science. Some obscure history.

Any particular niches in history that you specialise in?

-I used to be keen on the Egyptians when I was small. Some of that has perhaps stayed with me.

-OK.

-How about you, Jock?

-Um... I don't know. Some easy questions, maybe?

Easy... Good! That's a very honest answer.

The sort of subjects you're looking forward to are the easy ones.

-Yeah.

-Anything you'd hate to see come up?

-Um...

-I wouldn't do great on pop music, I don't think.

-OK.

-Scottish bagpipe music, obviously.

-That would be perfect.

Have you tried playing any other pipes? There are some nice Northumbrian pipes.

-I've never given it a go.

-You should. Much quieter.

Lovely to have you here, Tom and Jock. A warm welcome to Pointless.

Next, we welcome back Cathy and Dermot.

You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second chance. Remind us what happened.

We got to the head-to-head

and we were let down by women tennis players.

And South Africa as well.

So long as there's not a question about South African tennis players, we might...

You should be fine. You did very well.

You were the lowest scorers throughout the show yesterday.

Dermot, last time, I asked what your interests were and you said you'd taken up drawing cartoons.

-I did.

-And you were going to draw one of Richard and me.

-He has done.

-Has he?

-Would you like to see them?

-Kind of.

-Yeah.

-Shall I do mine first? That will ease you in.

-OK.

-Then we can see yours.

-OK.

If you can see... Can you see that?

-That's me. It's recognisable. It's got glasses.

-Yes!

If I'd committed a crime and that was on Crimewatch, they'd go, "I know that guy."

Talking of committing serious crimes and going on Crimewatch, here's yours.

LAUGHTER I think that's captured you.

He doesn't wear glasses, so it is definitely... That's me.

-It captures your wry take on the world.

-Lovely to have you back on the show, Dermot and Cathy.

Let's hope we see you go through to the final this time.

Next, we have Heather and Sian. You were also on last time. Remind us how you know each other.

We're flatmates from Leeds. We're both at university at Leeds.

-And what happened last time?

-We got through to the second round and we were thought we were quite good

at entertainment and it turns out we weren't that good.

What's going to be better today, Heather?

I think geography will be quite good.

-Do you mean cities and towns and capitals?

-Countries.

-World geography.

-Sian, what would you like to see come up?

-Popular music.

-Who's your favourite band at the moment?

-Band(!) Beyonce's my favourite artist.

I should stop saying "band". I might as well say combo!

Artist is all right cos artist covers both.

-Ahem... Who's your favourite artist?

-Beyonce.

-Cos we like the Wanted and...

-One Direction.

-One Direction.

-Yeah, they're our favourites.

-Those kids are just unstoppable!

-Who do you think's the best in the Wanted, Sian?

-Erm... Max?

-Yes!

It's the right answer!

-It's the right answer!

-And in One Direction?

-Erm...

-Like us, do you think it's Zayn?

-Yes!

-Yes.

-There we are.

Spot on. It's lovely to have you back on the show. Let's hope we see a lot more of you today.

And finally, we've got Bill and Bryan. How do you know each other?

-Father and son.

-We've had a lot of fine father and son combos on Pointless.

-I have high hopes for you as a team. Have you quizzed together before?

-No.

-Really? Whose idea was it to come on Pointless?

-Mine.

-Did Bill take a lot of persuading or was he keen to come down?

-No.

-I little bit of coercion.

-Now, Bill, what do you do?

-I'm in the very happy state of being retired.

-What do you like doing?

Now you're retired, you've got a lot of time, a lot of hobbies?

-Gardening, fly fishing... That's my passion.

-Very good. Bryan?

I do a bit of fishing. I do a lot on cars. I buy and sell cars.

-Fix them up.

-What's the best car you've had through your hands?

The one I regret - I had a special edition Ford Capri. There was only six made for a Belgian racing team.

I had number three. Didn't know how valuable it was. Sold on for next to nothing.

Years later, it appeared in a magazine, they couldn't value it.

-Do you know who you sold it to?

-It went down to Evesham or somewhere.

-Oh, Bryan!

-I have to say, I'm looking after it. I promise you.

-It was a nice one.

-I'm looking after the money I got for it!

Oh. Dear, oh, dear! Bill and Bryan, welcome to Pointless.

We'll be finding out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's one person to introduce.

-On board the obscurity bus, we're going to need a driver. He's my Pointless friend. Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-How are you today?

-I'm very well.

We have two returning pairs today.

I noticed on the last show, Cathy sort of pretends to be very quiet

and every time you ask a question, she goes, "I don't really know about this."

And then comes up with an awesome answer. She did it the whole show.

-Dermot, is that about right?

-I think so.

I think Heather, the good news for you in Round Two, we're doing something on cities.

All our questions have been put to 100 people. We're looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game, all our players need to do is score as few points as they possibly can.

Everyone's looking to find a pointless answer, an answer none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won last time, so we add another £1,000.

Today's jackpot starts off at £2,000. There we are.

APPLAUSE

OK, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score will be eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer, they will the score the maximum of 100 points.

OK, our category for the first round this afternoon is sport.

Can you decide who's going to go firs, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Sports of the 2012 Paralympic Games. Richard.

We're looking for any of the sports that will feature in the London 2012 Paralympic Games.

So not the individual events, just the catch-all sports that will be competed for in the 2012 Games.

And we're looking for them as they are listed on the London 2012 Paralympic website. Best of luck.

Thanks, Richard.

Tom and Jock, you drew lots before the show and this afternoon, you go first.

Sports in the 2012 Paralympic Games. Tom.

Not an ideal subject.

I'm going with one I think is fairly safe, wheelchair basketball.

Wheelchair basketball, says Tom. Let's see if that's correct

and if it is, let's see how many people said wheelchair basketball.

It's right.

61.

APPLAUSE

Safe but high. Richard?

It's been competed for since 1960, the 1960 Games.

Wheelchair basketball, or just basketball.

Now then, Dermot. We're looking for Paralympic Sports For 2012.

-Is this a good category for you?

-No. Definitely not.

I've not got a clue. I will just say wheelchair marathon.

Let's see if it's correct and if it is, let's see how many people said wheelchair marathon.

Bad luck, Dermot.

I'm afraid that scores you the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

The marathon is an individual event.

We're looking for the catch-all sports that are competed for.

Now then, Sian.

So we are looking for sports in the 2012 Paralympics.

I'm good at sport but...

I'm going to go with football, I think I'm going to go with.

Football says Sian. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said football.

It's right.

Very well done, Sian. 22.

Great answer.

There's the five-a-side version, which is played by visually-impaired players

and also a seven-a-side version, played by players with cerebral palsy.

Both of those will be at the Olympics.

Bill. So we are looking for sports in the 2012 Paralympics.

Shot-put.

Shot-put.

Yes.

OK, let's see if that is a correct answer.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Shot-put.

Bad luck, Bill.

Unfortunately that's incorrect, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

And again, that's an individual event. It's not a sport,

as in the catch-all sports that we're looking for.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round so let's take a look at those scores.

Sian and Heather looking very strong there on 22. Lovely low score.

61, Tom and Jock. As it turns out, rather a good score

in the context of Dermot and Cathy and Bill and Bryan's scores of 100.

I think it will be a tussle between Cathy and Bryan.

So best of luck to both of you.

We'll see who remains at the end of the round.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

Remember are we are looking for sports of the 2012 Paralympic Games.

Bryan, you are the joint highest scorers with Dermot and Cathy

on 100 points.

You have to score as few as you possibly can.

What are you thinking?

I honestly have no idea. I'm just going to go, swimming.

Swimming. OK.

Bryan says swimming.

There's no red line for you because you're the high scorers.

Let's see if swimming is right and how many of our 100 people said swimming.

It's right!

38. 38 for swimming takes your total up to 138. Richard.

Sport Team GB does very well usually in the Paralympics.

All sorts of different classes and disciplines and distances.

Should be one of the real spectacles of the 2012 Paralympics.

Thanks, Richard. Heather. The highest scorers are Bryan and Bill on 138.

You're on 22. Whatever you score, you are through to the next round.

That's quite nice to know.

That's quite lucky because I'm terrible on sport.

So I'm going to guess volleyball.

Volleyball says Heather.

Let's see if that's right. We are looking for 2012 Paralympic sports.

No red line for you because you're through.

Is that right and if it is, how many people said volleyball?

It's right, very well done.

Great score, Heather.

That's wonderful. 10 for you, takes your total up to 32.

Richard.

Safely through, Heather, very well played.

There's a sit-in volleyball at the Paralympics.

They teamed up a German sport called Sitzball with volleyball.

That's Paralympic volleyball.

OK, now then, Cathy.

Remember we are looking for Paralympic sports for 2012.

The high scorers on 138 are Bryan and Bill.

You have to score 37 or less if you want to be through safely to the next round.

I really, really have no idea!

So I'll take a chance on fencing.

Fencing. Says Cathy. There's your red line.

If you can get below that red line with fencing,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see if it is right.

Fencing. How many people said it?

Cathy, you've done it again!

And you are through to the next round!

And it scores only two! Takes your total up to 102.

And she prefaced her answer with, "I really have no idea".

You see what I mean. "I really have no idea" - best answer all round.

The best score of the entire round. There we go, Cathy.

Jock, we come to you. You're on 61.

The high scorers are still Bryan and Bill on 138.

That means a score of 76 or less will see you to the next round.

Right.

You're the last to play. You can do all of your thinking out loud.

The one I've been thinking of since the beginning was rugby,

and I think I'm going to stay with that because I think it's right.

I'm not 100%, but hopefully that will be obscure enough.

Rugby says Jock. Here is your red line.

Quite nice and high. If you get below that with rugby,

you are through to the next round.

Is it right? How many people said rugby?

It's right!

You're through.

And down it goes, look at that.

Very well done indeed, Jock. Five.

Takes your total up to 66.

Well played, Jock. Wheelchair rugby, invented in Canada in the '70s.

The USA won the first ever gold medal at Sydney in 2000.

Only one pointless answer, boccia, which is a form of bowls.

Judo would've scored you one.

Powerlifting also would've scored you one.

Let's take a look at the top scores, the top answers.

Archery would've scored you 30 points.

Swimming, 38.

And basketball, 61.

Marathon, shot-put, that would obviously come under "athletics",

which would've scored you 24 points.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of round one, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm sorry, it's Bill and Bryan.

Any tips you'll take away from your time on Pointless,

so when you come back we'll see you go a lot further?

Read up on the Paralympics!

Don't do that cos we've just done that one.

Listen, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you so soon.

We look forward to seeing you next time.

Bryan and Bill. Thanks very much.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

There's only going to be room for two pairs in the head-to-head

so one of the teams in front of me will be leaving at the end of this round.

Our category for round two is...

cities.

Can you decide who'll go first and who'll go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our round two question concerns...

largest cities which are not capitals.

Richard.

Yes, we'll show you the names of six cities.

They are all the largest cities in their country, although not the capital.

All you have to do is tell us the country.

An obscure one will score fewer points. An incorrect answer will score 100 points.

12 cities in all, 12 countries to guess. Best of luck.

So we are looking at the countries of which these cities are the largest.

And here we have -

I'll read them one more time.

Auckland, Almaty, Lagos, Shanghai, Sao Paulo, Ho Chi Minh City.

There are the largest cities in their countries that are not capital cities.

You have to supply the name of the country of the most obscure one you know.

Jock.

Right. Erm...

Is this a good one for you?

Erm, it's not dreadful in theory.

Not too keen on what's come up,

but I'm going to play relatively safe and go...

Auckland, New Zealand.

Relatively safe. I'm just seeing what the relative safety of that was.

Let's see if it's right and if so, how many people knew that answer. Auckland, New Zealand.

Yep.

Ho, ho!

81.

APPLAUSE

That's a punishingly high score.

That is relatively safe, isn't it.

LAUGHTER

Auckland's three times the size of the capital of New Zealand, which is Wellington.

Now then, Cathy, we're looking for the countries in which these

are the largest cities, and are not capitals.

Is this terrible for you, Cathy? Oh, I really don't know!

It's going to be a terrible guess.

I'm going to go for Lagos and I think it's Nigeria.

Lagos, Nigeria says Cathy. Is it right?

How many people knew that answer?

Cathy's done it again.

Very well done!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Cathy. 15 for Lagos, Nigeria.

Well done, Cathy.

Ten million people in Lagos, second biggest city of Africa,

but not the capital of Nigeria because that is...?

-Nairobi?

-No.

Abuja?

Abuja. Abuja, exactly.

They moved the capital because Lagos was so congested.

It wasn't an appropriate place to have a capital.

-No-one could get around.

-Exactly.

So look out Swindon!

LAUGHTER

Thank you.

Now, Heather and Sian, you were our lowest scorers in the first round.

-Can you keep this up, Heather?

-I don't think so.

You're the last person to have this board.

I'll have to play it relatively safe and say Shanghai, China.

You are also saying relatively safe.

Let's see how relatively safe that is. Shanghai, you say, China.

Let's see how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

It's right.

63.

Not a bad score at all. Richard.

16.5 million people live in Shanghai and Beijing, the capital, has 12.5.

Let's fill in the rest of the board. See how you did at home.

Sao Paulo is in Brazil. Would've scored you 49 points.

Not the capital of Brazil. That's Brasilia.

Ho Chi Minh City. Alexander, do you know that?

Vietnam.

Absolutely right. Would've scored 31.

Do you know the capital of Vietnam?

Hanoi. Almaty.

The capital of this country is Astana.

-It's Kazakhstan.

-Kazakhstan!

Two points. Very well done if you got all of those at home.

-They are fools for Pointless in Kazakhstan.

-They love it.

They love it.

Everything stops in Kazakhstan.

5:15pm in Almaty!

7:15pm actually, cos of the time difference.

7:15, tractor production stops, if that's what they make there!

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

Cathy and Dermot looking just wonderful there on only 15.

Then we go up substantially to 63, where we find Heather and Sian,

and then up a little bit more to 81, where we find Jock and Tom.

So Sian and Tom have the tussle on their hands in this next half of the round.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we are going to put six more cities on the board.

And here they come. We have got: Dar es Salaam, Zurich, Birkirkara,

Istanbul, Karachi, Toronto.

I'll read those again: Dar es Salaam, Zurich, Birkirkara,

Istanbul, Karachi, and Toronto.

Now, remember, we're looking for the countries in which

these are the largest cities, without being capital cities.

You're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Sian, your on 63, the high scorers on 81 are Tom and Jock, which means

a score of 17 or less would see you comfortably into the next round.

I don't think I'm going to get that.

I don't know, I think I'm going to play it safe,

I think Toronto is Canada, I don't know.

Toronto, Canada. OK, here comes your Red Line, Sian.

If you get below that you are definitely in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Toronto, Canada gets you down that far. Toronto, Canada.

It's right. Ooh!

Yeah, that's a very high score.

89 takes your total up to 152.

Yeah, that could be trouble.

Toronto, the largest city in Canada. Ottawa is the capital.

Good, thank you.

150 to your total now, Sian.

Dermot, you are through to the next round, whatever happens,

even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake the high score of Sian and Heather.

Bearing which in mind, why not have a bit of a punt on this board?

I don't know too many of them,

I'll go for one, obviously, I think I do know Zurich, Switzerland.

Zurich, Switzerland, says Dermot. Let's see if Zurich is right,

and how many people said Zurich, Switzerland.

It's right.

59.

The 59 takes your total up to 74. Richard.

Safely through Dermot, back in the head-to-head.

-Bern being the capital of Switzerland.

-Tom.

-Yep.

You are on 81, the high scorers are Sian and Heather on 152.

A score of 70 or less sees you into the head-to-head.

Well, I'm sure I've heard of Dar es Salaam,

but I can't for the life of me remember where it is.

Birkirkara? Never heard of before.

Istanbul is Turkey, definitely, hopefully correct

is Karachi in Pakistan?

-I think I'm going to go for that.

-Karachi, Pakistan, says Tom.

Here's your Red Line.

It's quite nice and high,

if you get below it you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Karachi in Pakistan gets you there.

Is it right, and how many people said it?

It's right. And you are through.

31.

31 takes your total up to 112.

-Richard.

-Great tactics, Tom. Pakistan, absolutely right.

The capital of Pakistani, of course, Islamabad.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

If you had gone for Istanbul, you're quite right it's Turkey,

which the capital is Ankara.

You would have scored 81 points, you'd been out.

You would have got exactly the same score as Jock.

Dar es Salaam is the largest city in Tanzania,

it used to be the capital of Tanzania.

The capital of Tanzania is now Dodoma.

Birkirkara is the largest city in Malta.

It's got 22,000 people live there. Would have scored you three points.

Valetta, the capital, has got 6,000 inhabitants.

Three points for Malta, so very well done if you got that.

-Very Well done if you went all the way through both boards.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

So, at the end of round two the losing pair, with the highest score, it's Heather and Sian.

AUDIENCE SYMPATHISES

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I'm sorry.

It was round two last time, and it's round two again this time.

You've yet to make it through to the dizzy heights of the head-to-head.

-Did you know any of those more obscure ones?

-No.

I mean, that's honest of you to say.

-I knew the other board, again, just not my board.

-Dear, oh dear.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you so soon, Sian and Heather,

but it's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing, great contestants.

-Thank you.

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get

even more exciting now as we enter the head to head.

Well, congratulations. Cathy and Dermot, Tom and Jock,

you are now only one round away from the final,

and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,000.

AUDIENCE: Woo!

Now, clearly only one pair can play for that money,

and to decide which pair it's going to be you are now going to go head-to-head.

For each question you'll be given five options on the board.

Each pair only needs to give just one answer,

but you are now allowed to confer.

All you need to do is score less than the other pair and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing the jackpot. Let's play head-to-head.

And here is your first and here is your first question.

It concerns famous communists.

Famous communists, Richard.

On what other teatime show are you getting a round about famous communists?

We're about to show you five pictures of people who had roles in communist history.

You have to identify the most obscure among them.

OK. Thanks Richard.

Let's reveal our five famous communists, and here they come.

We've got:

A,

B,

C,

D, and E.

There they are, five famous communists.

Now then, Cathy and Dermot,

you've played best throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

THEY MUTTER TO EACH OTHER

Shall we go for C? Mussolini.

-We'll go for C, Mussolini.

-C, Mussolini, say Cathy and Dermot.

Tom and Jock, do you want to talk us through our gallery of Communists there?

Well, my brother is looking at me, I only know two.

I think A is Mao, Chairman Mao, and I think D is Fidel Castro.

And presumably E is Che Guevara?

I think we'll go with E, Che Guevara.

Che Guevara, E.

So, we have Mussolini as C, and Che Guevara as E.

Cathy and Dermot, C, Mussolini, is that right,

and if it is, how many people said it?

C, Mussolini. Famous communist.

Bad luck Cathy and Dermot. That's an incorrect answer.

So, Tom and Jock, that means E, Che Guevara, which is what you are saying, only has to be right.

If it's right, that's enough for you to win this question.

Che Guevara, is it right, how many people said it?

It's right, well done.

26.

After one question Tom and Jock are ahead. 1-0. Richard.

Not Mussolini. We might have him in our famous fascists round, in a future show.

Let's take a look at the board,

and we'll stumble upon C when we get to him.

A is Chairman Mao, that would have scored you a fairly hefty 62 points.

Now, B, is Leon Trotsky. That's Trotsky.

That would have scored you eight points.

C is the leader of Albania for over 40 years, Enver Hoxha. Enver Hoxha.

He once had the word Enver engraved into a mountain by engineers.

That's pretty cool, isn't it?

He was a pointless answer, well done if you recognised him.

D is Fidel Castro. That would've scored 61 points, just less than Mao.

And very well done, Che Guevara, 26 points.

Well done if you got all of those, especially Enver Hoxma.

Here comes your second question.

Cathy and Dermot, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Our second question concerns:

Richard.

We'll show you the names of five Woody Allen films,

but due to an administrative error, we've left the last word off each of those films.

Can you fill in the blank, please?

Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five Woody Allen films

with missing last words. Here they come.

There you go.

There are five Woody Allen films with the last words removed.

Tom and Jock, you go first this time.

(Take The Money And Run.)

THEY WHISPER

Can we go with Match, and the blank, Point.

Match Point.

OK, Match Point we have, from Tom and Jock.

Cathy and Dermot, you can talk us

through all the remaining films on the board, if you like.

I think it's Hannah And Her Sisters, Take The Money And Run

and Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

What should we go for? Take The Money And...

-Take The Money And Run.

-Take The Money And Run.

OK, Take The Money And Run.

So we have Match Point and Take The Money And Run.

Good luck.

You need to win this question to stay in the game.

Tom and Jock, Match Point. Is that right?

If it is, how many people said it?

Yep, it's right.

Ooh, look at that! Wow, six!

APPLAUSE

Six for Match Point.

Cathy and Dermot have gone Take The Money And Run.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see if it can beat Match Point.

That needs to go lower than six if you're to stay in the game.

She's right.

Ooh. Bad luck. That's a very high score. 72.

Which means that after only two questions,

Tom and Jock are through to the final, 2-0. Richard.

Well played, guys.

It turned out to be Match Point.

-Have you seen Match Point?

-Do you know who's in it?

-Are you in it?

-Yeah!

-Are you?

-Yeah! I've worked on two Woody Allen films, actually.

I was in... What was that look? Yeah, yeah!

-What was that look?

-That was, "Goodness."

-"How about that?"

-Really?

-Yeah.

-It was great. I worked with him.

-Scoop, the other one, wasn't it?

-That's a film I haven't even seen.

I shan't say what I was about to say about Match Point any way.

No, you can.

I thought it was terrific.

Let's fill in the rest of the answers. Hannah And Her Sisters.

Cathy, you're quite right. That would've scored you 48.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona was been a better answer. It wouldn't have won the points

but it was a much better answer than Take The Money And Run. 11 points.

But you would have won at the bottom answer there.

That is a very good film. That was a cracking film.

It's a 1999 film set in the Jazz Age, Sweet And Lowdown.

It's the best answer on the board with just four points.

Well done if you said that at home.

The losing pair at the end of the Head-to-Head, it's Cathy and Dermot.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

You've made it through to the Head-to-Head both times.

-Woody Allen films not a strong category for you.

-No.

-You knew most of them, didn't you?

-Yeah.

But they got in there with Match Point, I'm afraid.

A film so obscure that only six people out of our 100 could even remember its name.

-Terrific film, though.

-What a great film(!) Whoa!

Go and...watch something else. Um...

Cathy and Dermot, I'm sorry, we have to say goodbye to you.

-This really is goodbye. You've been wonderful contestants. Thank you for playing.

-Thank you.

But for Tom and Jock, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Tom and Jock. You've seen off the competition have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless Jackpot.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands at:

You've done phenomenally well.

You've sprinted through the show

and you've seen off an extremely strong pair in the Head-to-Head.

No mean achievement. So here we are at the final.

The rules are simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had a pointless answers on the show today.

All you need to do now is find one and you'll go home with that money.

First you've got to choose a category. You can choose from these five options. They are:

Not the three in the middle.

-Not even slightly appealing.

-Maybe the top.

-The top's maybe more likely.

-I guess.

In theory I live in London, but...

It's going to make it more embarrassing.

-Should we go with London?

-OK, London.

We'll go with London and hopefully not live to regret it.

You're going with London. Let's find the question. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many London Underground stations

beginning with a vowel as they could.

We're looking for any station on the London Underground network

whose name begins with a vowel. We're taking the names as they appear on the TfL Tube map.

We won't except national rail,

London Overground or Docklands Light Railway stations.

OK. Thanks, Richard.

You have one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,000 is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. You ready?

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

-Your time starts now.

-There's Arnos Grove.

-Brilliant.

There's Epping at the end of the Central Line. Uxminster.

Those are pretty good. Olympia, but that's Kensington. I don't know if that's the same.

There's another one I was thinking of.

-Is there Acton, or East Acton?

-There's East Action.

-It's still a vowel.

-Oh, yeah! What about Oxgrove?

-And your Uxbridge one.

-Uxbridge, Arnos Grove and East Acton?

Just have a think, see if there's any more.

The only reason we know Acton is cos it's two stops from here, so...

-What else is there?

-Ealing Broadway, kind of more obvious.

-Um...

Any with I?

-No.

-On the Docklands Light Railway, but we're not allowed that.

-Ten seconds left.

-Arnos Grove and...East Acton?

-Yep.

-OK.

-You're happy?

-Yeah.

-Ahead of time.

There we are. Your time is now up.

We were looking for London Underground stations

beginning with a vowel, and I need your answers.

-East Acton, Uxminster...

-Uxminster. OK.

-And Arnos Grove.

And Arnos Grove.

Of those, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I've not heard of latter two, so I'd say Arnos Grove.

I'd say Arnos Grove.

I'm beginning to suspect I've confused Uxbridge and possibly a type of carpet?

Not so confident any more. OK.

-Should we put Uxminster first, maybe?

-Yeah.

And we'll put East Acton in the middle and Arnos Grove last.

Let's put them up on the board in that order and here they are:

We were looking for London Underground stations beginning with a vowel.

Uxminster was your least confident answer.

You only need to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot.

Let's see if Uxminster is right,

and if it is, how many people said it.

Uxminster.

Nope. I think we knew that one was coming, didn't we?

Unfortunately not a pointless answer.

You only gave two more chances to win today's jackpot.

What will you do with the two grand?

Um...

Personally, I'd like to put it towards a circus arts course.

-Hopefully.

-Not content with the bagpipes.

Can you bagpipe and juggle with one hand?

-No.

-Try it.

Tom, what would you do?

Rather boringly, probably some accountancy course.

That would be a very sensible thing to do. Very sensible. Very sensible.

This is like a sort of mini-series from the 90s.

One brother who wants to be a unicycling bagpiper and the other one doing his accountancy exams.

I know. And you know what's going to happen.

Tom will be going cap in hand to Jock saying,

"I need just a bit more to get me through the next course."

You're looking for London Underground stations beginning with a vowel.

You're next answer was East Acton.

This has to be right and pointless

if you're going to win that jackpot. Let's see of it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said East Acton.

OK. It's right. Uxminster we knew was going to be wrong.

But we're now on to something. East Acton, down it goes.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £2,000.

Down it goes, still going d... Oh! Two! Two for East Acton.

-That's very exciting.

-Better than I thought.

You put East Acton in the middle and Arnos Grove last.

There was a reason.

But it was probably the reason I said Uxminster in the beginning.

That's true, but still.

It could just be that Arnos Grove might do it for you.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot of £2,000.

Your last answer has to be right and it has to be pointless

if you're going to take that money away.

Let's see. We were looking for London Underground stations

beginning with a vowel.

For £2,000, Arnos Grove. Is it right?

How many people said it?

It is right. We went down to two with East Acton.

You said this was your most confident answer.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £2,000.

-Down it goes, into single figures.

-Down it goes!

Yes! You've done it!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Very well done. Very well done. That's brilliant. Good work.

Congratulations. Arnos Grove!

A pointless answer.

You've come all the way down from Kirkcudbright

and you go back with £2,000. Very well done.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Richard, what about that?

-Well played, Tom and Jock.

That was terrific. Arnos Grove opened in 1932 and its name was chosen by a public vote.

That public vote just won you £2,000.

The big scorers, Euston, Oxford Circus Elephant and Castle...

And there's an Uxbridge and an Upminster, so you cleverly

put the two together to create a brand new Tube station, Uxminster.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

All of those are pointless. Well done if you said any of those.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Thanks again to our winning players, Tom and jock,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us next time and we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd