Episode 19 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

Welcome, John and Terry.

You are our first pair on the show this afternoon.

How do you two know each other?

Well, we've worked together for about seven years now.

-In Plymouth in Devon, sunny Devon.

-Beautiful Devon.

Beautiful, sunny Devon. What do you do, Terry?

-I'm a taxi driver, same as John.

-Plymouth, Plymouth, Plymouth.

If you were going, let's say, from Union Street,

picking up in Union Street, going to the hospital, to Derriford,

which route would you advise, Terry?

-Longest, John?

-Well, it's usually the longest, yeah.

-Longest, normally.

-LAUGHTER

So, John, let say, I mean, it's unlikely,

but let's say Plymouth taxi routes don't come up this afternoon,

-what else would you like?

-I don't mind a bit of music.

I listen to a lot of radio in my job, as you can imagine.

Geography, don't mind.

How about you, Terry? What would be good for you?

-The Wombles.

-Oh.

-The Wombles.

-Favourite Womble, Terry?

Well, I don't want to give the game away

but it would have to be Orinoco.

John, Terry, it's lovely to have you on the show, welcome to Pointless.

And next, we welcome back Bill and Bryan.

You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

And this is your second chance.

-Remind us how you know each other.

-Father and son.

Father and son from Chester-le-Street

in County Durham, home of Durham County Cricket Club, of course.

-Yes.

-So, what happened last time, Bill?

-Mental block.

We got a question on the 2012 Paralympics

and we didn't do very well, unfortunately.

-Oh.

-And we left in the first round.

But I think, chastened today. Today, you've come back with your jaws set.

Not literally, there wasn't a punch-up.

But you've, I think you've got your eyes set on the prize.

I think we're going to see much more of you this afternoon,

-something tells me.

-Hopefully.

Now, that's right, I remember Bill.

Bill, before he answers any question, goes "Ha-ha-ha-ha".

And then answers the question.

So, Bill, what are you looking forward to coming up this afternoon?

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

-I've done it for you, there.

-Well, thank you very glad.

-Australia.

-Australia.

-Hm-mm.

-Bryan.

What would you like to see come up this afternoon?

-TV, entertainment, films.

-Entertainment, films.

What sort of TV do you watch, Bryan?

Do you have any particular TV you like to watch?

Or do you just what what's on?

Game shows. I watch a lot of Pointless.

-Actually, if I'm at work, I record them.

-Do you really?

-Quite a few people do that. I'm very flattered to say.

-I do.

Lovely to have you here, Bill and Bryan.

Let's see more of you than we did last time.

And next, we welcome Lucy and Maggie.

-How do you two know each other?

-This is my mum.

And we're both from Luton.

Very good indeed. Maggie, what do you do?

I'm deputy head of a primary school in Luton.

She says that quite nervously.

Yeah, cos teachers, as you know,

famously, do very well on Pointless, don't they?

It's a bit of a worry, yeah.

-Lucy, what do you do?

-I'm a student.

I'm doing a Master's in journalism at the moment.

-Do they send you out?

-They do.

-Do you go off...?

-Roving reporter, I am.

-Wow, fantastic.

Do you have particular areas that you have to cover?

Or is it up to you? Do you just go and find something of interest?

It's mostly local news at the moment.

What's been your favourite story so far?

I did one about a free-range chicken shop which was interesting.

I ended up walking three miles just to record the noise of some chickens

-at a city farm.

-Well, it's a free-range shop.

No-one can predict where it's going to be.

LAUGHTER

Lucy, what you like to see come up this afternoon?

-What would be a great area?

-For me, it's got to be reality TV, I think.

Right. Any particular reality TV or do you watch them all?

Rather shamefully, probably,

The Only Way Is Essex would be my top subject.

-You're quite a fan of that as well, Maggie?

-I am indeed, yes.

Do you watch quite a lot of stuff together?

-Yeah, we do really, don't we? Yes.

-You're quite a good team, actually.

Hopefully.

-Anything you'd hate to see come up?

-Sport.

-Sport. Any sport?

Any sport at all.

Right you are. We'll keep our fingers crossed for no sport.

-Best of luck, it's lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

And finally, we've got Matt and Vicki.

-How do you two know each other?

-We are a couple, Alexander.

Very good. Where have you come from, Matt?

We've come from Devon, down in the West Country.

Down in the West Country. What do you do, Matt?

-I'm a logistics coordinator.

-A logistics coordinator.

-Right.

You know what, I was about to say, "Yes, good". What actually is that?

It's moving people and equipment from A to B as quickly as possible.

So, it's not that exciting.

-What you're saying, essentially, is, you're a taxi driver.

-More or less.

-Yeah. I work with the two fellas down the end.

-Vicki, what do you do?

I'm a legal assistant.

-And what do you like doing in your spare time, Vicki?

-I mystery dine.

So, critique restaurants.

-You mystery dine.

-I do.

Yes, yes, work for a proper company in my spare time.

-Do they foot the bill for you?

-They do, yes.

Matt, do you ever get taken out as mystery diner's plus one?

-No.

-No!

-Never.

-Blimey.

Well, listen,

we'll look forward to finding out more about all of you on the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

My right-hand man, sitting on my left,

-it's my Pointless friend Richard.

-Hiya.

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-How are you? Are you well?

-I'm extremely well, thank you.

-It's a wide open field today, isn't it?

Only one returning pair, Bill and Bryan

and we didn't see very much of them last time.

-I worry. You know mystery diners?

-Yeah.

You know they have mystery quiz show contestants as well,

did you know that?

And I think...

(Lucy.)

Really?

-(So, be really nice.)

-OK, yeah.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Thanks for the tip-off.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show

but we are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

all our players need to do is score as few points as they possibly can.

Now, what everyone is trying to do, of course,

is to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will 250 quid to the jackpot.

Tom and Jock won the jackpot last time.

So, today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

OK, let's play Pointless.

OK, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

they will score the maximum of 100 points.

So, try and avoid those if you can.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

European languages.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

Spanish words for food, Richard.

On each pass, we're going to give you seven Spanish terms for common food.

You have to tell us what they are in English.

Give us a nice, obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

Give us an incorrect answer, though, you're going to score 100 points.

-14 in all to have a go at, at home.

-OK, thanks very much.

Right, John and Terry, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you are going first.

So, we're looking for the English for these Spanish terms for food.

And we have...

I'll do that again.

There we are. Those are the Spanish words for certain food items.

We need the English translations. Terry, what do you think?

There's a couple there I think I do know.

But I'll have to go pretty safe, I think,

and go with calamari is squid.

Calamari, squid, says Terry. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Calamari is squid.

It's right.

-Quite a high score there, Terry. 63.

-A big score but a safe score.

At least it's not 100. Yeah, calamari, squid.

The largest ever squid caught was in New Zealand. It was over 70 stone.

-Really?

-Yeah, a species of colossal squid. 70 stone.

And the calamari rings would have been the size of tractor tyres.

-Imagine the batter to go on that as well.

-The batter.

LAUGHTER

There we go. Bryan, so, sorry, all this preamble. Bryan, Spanish.

-Do you speak Spanish?

-Not a word.

I think I'll take a stab in the dark. Pan.

-Pastry. Yeah.

-Pan, pastry.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Pastry for pan.

Oh, bad luck, Bryan.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

I'm sorry. Richard.

Sorry, Bryan, but Terry's a lot happier about his 63 points now.

So, some good has come of it.

Remember, we are looking for the English translations

of these Spanish food items.

Lucy.

I'm going to be completely guessing as well with this one, I think.

I think I'm going to go with patata and just hope that it is potatoes.

Patata, potato, says Lucy.

ALEXANDER MOUTHS

Is it right? How many people knew that answer? Patata, potato.

Very well done.

The best score so far.

APPLAUSE

Just the kind of score I would have expected Lucy to have got, there.

-I mean, genuinely amazing.

-Amazing.

Patatas bravas, is one of the more famous tapas dishes, isn't it?

-Brave potatoes, yes.

-Which is Spanish for brave potatoes.

I thought that was a very brave answer, if I may be so bold.

-Be so brava.

-It took some guts, didn't it?

-Yeah, it certainly did.

-Took brains and guts.

-Absolutely.

Vicki, we come to you. You are the last person to have this board.

So, feel free to talk through it all.

Two that I knew have already gone.

-I don't know ce-bo-la or lechuga.

-"Ce-bo-la"! Sorry. The-bo-ya.

But queso is cheese.

Pan is bread, I think.

But the one I'm going to go for is naran-hah.

-For orange.

-Sounds good to me.

Let's see if that's right. And if it is let's see

how many of our 100 people said naran-hah, orange.

LAUGHTER

It's right.

Very well done.

Very well done, indeed. Naranja.

Good answer, Vicki. Best answer of the round.

Actually, both your pronunciations is slightly wrong. It's narranjah.

LAUGHTER Let's go through the rest of the board.

Vicki's already taken us through some of the bigger answers.

Pan, you're absolutely right, is bread.

That would have scored 33. A better answer.

And even better than that would have been queso, cheese.

Which would have scored you 22.

The other two, cebolla which is onion would have scored you 9.

And the best answer on the board is lechuga which is lettuce.

Would have scored 7 points. Very well done if you said that at home.

Lettuce.

You know, if we called cheese queso, I think I'd eat a lot less of it.

-It's a bit oily.

-Do you mainly eat cheese because of its name?

On the whole, yes.

LAUGHTER

Queso.

-A bit of melted queso.

-Yeah.

-No?

-Hm.

Fromage, mmm.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Cheese, I'll have a bit of that as well. I'll have a hunk of that.

-But not too much.

-The Spanish are famous for their cheese, of course.

-Name a Spanish cheese. Shh, that's Round Two.

-OK.

OK, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Vicki, lovely score from you, 35. Looking very strong indeed.

Then up to 49. Great answer from Lucy.

Up to 63 where we find John and Terry.

And then up to 100 where Bryan and Bill are residing.

Bill, I'm really hoping your Spanish is absolutely first rate.

-Marvellous.

-Because we need

a lovely, obscure, low-scoring answer

from you on the next pass if we're going to see more of you.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put seven more Spanish words for food items

on the board and here they are, we have got...

I'll read those slightly less haltingly.

Pescado.

Jamon.

Pollo.

Zanahoria.

Manzana.

-Ajo.

-Bless you.

-LAUGHTER

-Gambas.

I so apologise if you are Spanish. I'm so sorry. OK, there we are.

Matt, remember, we are looking for the English versions

of these Spanish food items. And you're, obviously,

trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people could name.

You're on 35, the low-scorers,

after Vicki's excellent answer in the first pass.

High-scorers are Bill and Bryan on 100.

That means if you can score 64 or less,

you are in the next round.

The only one that really jumped out at me was jamon

-which I'll go for ham.

-Jamon, says Matt.

Let's see if that's right. And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Here's your red line.

Below that red line you are through to Round Two, for sure. Jamon.

It's right.

And you are through to the next round.

Very well done. 48 for jamon.

Which, added to 35, takes your total up to 83.

-Richard.

-Well done, Matt.

It's very difficult to be a vegetarian in Spain.

A cheese sandwich is about it.

But then they go, "I'd love a cheese sandwich.

"Oh, queso. Huh.

"Just the...

"Might have some of that ham, actually."

Maggie, you are on 49.

The high-scorers are Bill and Bryan on 100.

A score of 50 or less from you

will see you comfortably into the next round.

Remember, we are looking for the English translations

of these Spanish food items.

-Is this good for you, Maggie?

-Not too bad.

I don't speak Spanish but I did do Latin at school. I also did French.

So, I'm going to make a guess that pollo is chicken.

Chicken, says Maggie. Pollo, chicken.

Here is your red line, Maggie. Exactly halfway down the column.

If you get below that, you are definitely in the next round.

Pollo, chicken, says Maggie. Is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

57. That takes your total up to 106.

Bill, you are no longer the high-scorers.

The high-scorers are now Maggie and Lucy on 106.

You are on 100, which means a score of 5 or less

will see you waltzing into the next round.

Oh, dear.

Pescado, mushroom.

Here is your red line, it's quite low.

Sort of mushroom-height.

LAUGHTER

Let's see if pescado is a mushroom.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said pescado was a mushroom.

Oh, Bill and Bryan.

I'm sorry to say

that's an incorrect answer which takes your total up to

an unbeatable 200 points. Richard.

Sorry, Bill, I won't give the correct answer

just in case John wants to have a go at the same one.

-Now then, John.

-Hello.

-You're the last person to have this board.

Talk us through it. It doesn't matter if you score 100 points.

Even if you get it wrong,

you still won't overtake Bill and Bryan's high score of 200.

Alexander, it's all Greek to me.

LAUGHTER

-On one point you're wrong, there, but, yes.

-Yes.

I, I, I don't have a clue what any of them are. But...

Let's go ajo. Perhaps it's rice? With it being a small word.

I presume you mean a-ho, there. One up from the bottom.

A-ho, rice, says John. Let's see, ajo, is it rice?

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck. It's not rice.

It scores you 100 points, being an incorrect answer

but you are still through to the next round. Total 163.

-Richard.

-Worth a guess, John. Ajo is actually garlic.

Did you know the Spanish eat garlic a lot at breakfast?

-Did you know that?

-That doesn't surprise me.

That's where the song, A-jo, A-jo, It's Off To Work We Go, comes from.

LAUGHTER

-Wow.

-Yeah. Did you know that?

Richard, that, that's the worst joke you've ever made.

-Yes.

-You're normally... But you're better than that, Richard.

-No.

That's the sort of joke I make.

Let's go through the rest of the board.

Pescado is...simply, it's fish.

Would have scored 34 points.

-Gambas.

-Prawns.

-Prawns, absolutely right.

Manzana is an apple.

That would have scored 12.

And zanahoria is the best answer on the board.

-It's carrots.

-Oh, it's carrots.

-Would have scored 5 points.

Very well done if you went through that board.

Very well done if you can pronounce them as well.

Apologies for our pronunciations.

-I'm so sorry.

-We did our best, didn't we?

-Yeah, we did.

Did our best.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of Round One,

the losing pair with the highest score, it's Bill and Bryan.

Bill and Bryan. You've come all the way from Chester-le-Street.

And in both Pointless shows you've been in,

we've had to say goodbye to you at the end of the first round.

What have you to say for yourselves?

Proves a point, doesn't it?

The point being...?

We know nothing about the Olympics and nothing about Spain.

Oh, dear. Yes, Paralympics and Spain.

Two things you need to know more about.

I suggest you head off to a tapas bar and drown your sorrows.

Well, it's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm so sorry we haven't seen you at your best.

I know that there are Bill and Bryan areas of expertise

that we simply haven't even touched on.

-Really?

-You're just going to...

-LAUGHTER

-Really?

-You may well have seen us at our best.

-Well, maybe we did.

I don't know. Either way, it's been great having you on the show.

-Thank you, Bill and Bryan.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Now, obviously, there's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head.

So, one of the pairs in front of me now will be leaving us

at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two is...

US presidents.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many unique presidential names as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, interesting question, this one.

It might drive some people at home mad, I think.

There have been 44 American presidents up to the start of 2012.

19 of them have got unique names.

That means no other president shared their surname or their first name.

So, unique names. 19 of them. Which is the most of obscure of those?

And we're taking their names as listed on the White House website.

Very good, indeed. OK, so, Terry.

American presidents.

I think I'll have to play right down the middle again.

I think I'll go Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan, says Terry. Let's see. Is that right, Ronald Reagan?

And if it is, how many of our 100 people said Ronald Reagan?

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Quite happy with that.

-49, Richard.

-Yeah, well played, Terry.

The first Ronald to be president and the first Reagan to be president.

Very good. Maggie.

-Maggie.

-Do you know, I'm not sure about this one

but I'm going to go with it anyway.

-And that is Gerald Ford.

-Gerald Ford, says Maggie.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Gerald Ford.

It's right.

Look at that.

11 for Maggie.

APPLAUSE

-Very well done, indeed. 11. Gerald Ford.

-Yeah, well played, Maggie.

Used to be a model, Gerald Ford. In the '40s.

-You know that?

-No.

-Yeah.

-A model. Gerald Ford? You mean a car?

-No, I don't mean a car.

LAUGHTER

I mean an actual model. Like a magazine model.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Vicki, who is the most obscure US president with a unique name

you can think of?

This is awful. I can think of two.

One I know is right but I think it'll be a high answer.

The other one, I'm not sure if it is right or not,

but I'm going to go with it.

Theodore Roosevelt.

Theodore Roosevelt, says Vicky.

Let's see if that's right.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Theodore Roosevelt.

Oh, bad luck. Bad luck, Vicki.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

Sorry, Vicki, there was a Franklin D Roosevelt as well.

OK, well, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Maggie and Lucy looking very strong indeed,

courtesy of Maggie's excellent answer of Gerald Ford.

Then, we go up to 49 where we find John and Terry.

And then up to 100, I'm afraid, where Vicki and Matt are.

So, Matt, you're going to have to find a really good,

obscure, low-scoring, uniquely-named American president

if you want to stay the course.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, take their places at the podium?

Right, we are looking for US presidents with unique names.

-Matt.

-Well, I was hoping that Vicki was going to get

a low-scoring answer, there. So, erm, I'm in a bit of bother.

But I think I can go for Abraham Lincoln.

OK, Abraham Lincoln, says Matt.

There's no red line for you cos you are the high-scorers.

Let's see if that's a correct answer.

And if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Abraham Lincoln.

It is right.

APPLAUSE

44, Matt.

-Not a bad answer. Richard.

-A correct answer, definitely, Matt.

And might just have kept yourself in the round.

The tallest president, Abraham Lincoln. Six foot four and a half.

-Even without the hat?

-Even without the hat.

Used to keep letters, mail and bills, in his hat.

Did he have a little slot so he could just post them in?

-No.

-He should have.

-Well, he didn't.

Ah, well. His loss. Lucy, you are through to the next round

whatever happens. Even if you score

100 points, you are still in the next round

cos you won't overtake the current high score

of Matt and Vicki.

Remember, we are looking for US presidents with unique names.

This is a failsafe answer. It's also very boring, but it doesn't matter.

I'm going to go Barack Obama.

Barack Obama. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

how many people said it.

It's right.

80!

80. It's fine. Takes your total up to 91. You are through

to the next round. Richard.

Very good answer. High scoring but sees you through.

They used to call him Barry, until university,

then he insisted on being called Barack. Genuinely, used to be Barry.

-Really?

-Yeah. I'm not sure anyone called him Baz or Bazza.

Bazza O-bazza! That's what I'd have gone for.

OK, so John, the moment of truth.

The highest scorers are Matt and Vicki on 144.

You're on 49.

A score of 94 or less would see you through to the head-to-head.

I'm thinking Dwight Eisenhower, but has there been a Dwight?

Or Lyndon Johnson, but has there been a Johnson?

So, I'm going to go with Dwight Eisenhower.

Dwight Eisenhower, says John. Terry, what d'you think?

I just hope he knows what he's on about.

OK, Dwight Eisenhower.

There's your red line. Below that red line,

you are in the head-to-head. Dwight Eisenhower.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said it?

It is right, you are through to the head-to-head.

Wow, look at that.

Nine points!

The best score of the round, John. Takes your total up to 58.

Richard.

Great answer. The only president to serve in both wars. If you had said

Lyndon Johnson, you'd have knocked yourself out.

There's an Andrew Johnson.

There's only one pointless answer, but a few low scorers.

The pointless one, Chester A. Arthur. Very well done if you said that.

Herbert Hoover would have scored 1. Harry S. Truman would have scored 1.

Other ones would have been Martin Van Buren, Warren G. Harding,

Calvin Coolidge, Grover Cleveland,

Zachary Taylor, Rutherford B. Hayes.

All of those scoring low. Let's look at the popular answers.

I think we've seen all of these before. Abraham Lincoln, 44.

Ronald Reagan, 49. And Barack Obama on 80.

Very well done if you got one of those low scorers at home.

Thanks, Richard. At the end of Round Two,

the losing pair with the highest score,

it's Matt and Vicki. Dear, oh dear.

Abraham Lincoln.

That was a good answer.

Theodore, "Teddy" Roosevelt.

-I know.

-Theodore, I imagine Theodore was unique.

Theodore is unique, yes. It's the Roosevelt that tripped you up.

We'll get to see you next time.

We'll look forward to that.

But meanwhile, Matt and Vicki, thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get more exciting,

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Lucy and Maggie, John and Terry,

you are only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Only one pair can play for that money, and to decide

which pair it's going to be,

you are going head-to-head on the best of three questions.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot,

and you are now allowed to confer.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question.

And it concerns...

Actors who have played Hamlet. Richard.

We're going to show you five photos of actors playing Hamlet.

We showed these photos to our 100 people. Which is the most obscure?

-Best of luck.

-Thank you, Richard.

Let's reveal our five actors playing Hamlet. We've got...

OK, there are your actors.

Lucy and Maggie, you've played best throughout the show

so you get to go first.

Are you sure about it?

No, but...I don't know.

-Shall we go?

-Yeah, go on.

-We're going to take a little bit of a risk

and go for A, who we think is Jude Law.

Jude Law. A, you are saying.

A, Jude Law. John and Terry, you can talk us through

the rest of the board, if you like.

-Erm...

-Well, we know D. That's Michael Sheen.

B, I think is called Greg somebody.

I know the skull.

E is that fella who plays Doctor Who.

E is the Doctor Who fella, the Scottish...Tennant, something.

And A was Jude Law, but we'll go for D. Michael Sheen.

OK, D, Michael Sheen, you are saying. So we have A, Jude Law.

D, Michael Sheen. In the order they were given, Lucy and Maggie

have said A is Jude Law. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

how many people said it.

It is right.

Very good. 31 for Jude Law.

APPLAUSE

John and Terry are saying Michael Sheen. D.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

Yep, it is right. 31's what it has to beat.

Will it do it?

Yes!

14. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Well played, John and Terry.

That means, after one question, you are ahead one-nil. Richard.

Well played. That's the most recent production of Hamlet up there.

Let's go through the board. There's Jude Law on 31.

B, you might have been thinking of Greg Wise,

but it's actually Mark Rylance,

who's been starring in Jerusalem

to such great effect, and he was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got Mark Rylance.

C is Damien Lewis. He would have scored you nine points.

There's Michael Sheen, and E is that fella who plays Doctor Who,

David Tennant. And that would have scored you 52 points.

That's the biggest answer. Well done if you got those.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, here comes your second question.

Lucy and Maggie, you have to win to stay in the game.

Here it comes. It concerns...

-Gary Lineker, Richard.

-From Hamlet to Gary Lineker.

Yeah, we're going to show you five clues to facts about Gary Lineker.

Which is the most obscure fact? Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about Gary Lineker.

Here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one final time.

There are five facts about Gary Lineker.

John and Terry, if you pick the most obscure of those facts,

the one that the fewest of our 100 people will have known,

you then can hope

that will see you through to the final.

THEY CONFER

Yeah, we'll go for the Spanish club that he played for,

and we'll go for Barcelona.

Barcelona, say John and Terry,

as the Spanish club for which he played. Now then, Lucy and Maggie.

-Oh, dear.

-We'll have to take a guess here.

We're thinking of guessing the animated series.

We said sport was our worst nightmare, and this is kind of...

Noddy, Bob the Builder,

Thomas the Tank Engine...erm...

I'm going to go Noddy. I don't see any other...

Let's go Noddy. We'll say Noddy.

You're going to say the animated series for children,

for which he voiced the title character,

you're going to nominate Noddy.

We have Barcelona, we have Noddy. Lucy and Maggie, you have to win

to stay in the game.

It's all riding on Noddy.

John and Terry,

Barcelona you've said for the Spanish club.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said Barcelona?

It's right.

34.

APPLAUSE

34 for Barcelona.

Lucy and Maggie, you have said Noddy.

This is a real shot in the dark. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Yeah. I think we feared that was going to be the outcome.

Noddy is incorrect, which means, after only two questions,

John and Terry are straight through to the final, two-nil. Richard.

Well played, gents. Unlucky, Lucy and Maggie.

The non-sports answers are the ones you wanted to go for.

Let's start at the top. The number of bookings during his career.

An amazing none. That would have scored you 40 points.

A very well-known fact. The year he won the World Cup Golden Boot,

-what would you have gone for, gents?

-1990.

-'86 or '90.

'86 is the right answer, there. That would have scored eight points.

The model he married in 2009 is Danielle Bux, for three points.

And the children's series for which he voiced the title character,

only would have scored you one point, it's quite an obscure answer,

Underground Ernie. Underground Ernie, for one point.

Has anyone heard of Underground Ernie?

CROWD: No.

To be fair, one person has.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Lucy and Maggie.

Oh, dear oh dear. The Hamlet actors, I didn't recognise Jude Law at all!

-We tried.

-I'm afraid we say goodbye to you,

but you have played phenomenally well throughout the show.

Unlucky to be beaten in the head-to-head,

but we will see you again next time. We look forward to that very much.

Lucy and Maggie.

APPLAUSE

But for John and Terry, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, John and Terry.

You've fought off the competition and won our Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE

It's been quite a curve for you, because you very nearly,

you could have gone out in Round One, you scored 100 in Round One.

-We've been very lucky.

-But a clean sweep in the head-to-head.

-Fantastic.

-It's just fallen right. Just at the right time.

I think it has. Absolutely. Well, to win that money,

find a pointless answer. We haven't had any pointless answers today.

Find one now and you will go home with that £1,000 jackpot.

First, you've got to choose a category from these five options.

We have...

-What do you think? Films.

-I think you're quite strong on films.

We'll have Films and Remakes.

Films and Remakes, say John and Terry.

Let's find out what your question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Actors in The Ladykillers as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any actor or actress who appeared

in the 1955 Ealing comedy The Ladykillers, or the 2004 remake.

Uncredited actors won't be allowed. Anyone credited in those films,

according to the Internet Movie Database. Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £1,000 is for just one of those answers

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Ready.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Did you see the remake?

-Not seen the remake.

Tom Hanks, I think it was Tom Hanks. I can't remember who was in it.

-The first one...

-That was the old, Peter Sellers and all that?

Yeah, Peter Sellers, Alec Guinness, and I think Sid James was in it.

-You know, from Carry On.

-I'm not sure.

Remember the black and white film, but I can't...

..is that the one with the old woman?

-It's like an Ealing comedy.

-Margaret Rutherford?

And she had the boarding house, and they came round to rob a bank.

Erm...

-Alec Guinness, he was definitely in it.

-Peter Sellers.

I don't know anyone from the remake at all, apart from Tom Hanks.

-I thought Sid James was in it.

-Could well be.

-Shall we go with that?

-Yeah, you could do.

-Ten seconds left.

-I'm none the wiser.

Alec Guinness. Who did you say?

-Peter Sellers.

-Peter Sellers, Sid James...

OK, there is your minute up.

We are looking for actors in either the original Ladykillers,

the Ealing comedy, or the remake in 2004.

I now need your three answers.

So, what did we say? Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Sid James.

Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Sid James.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Sid James.

-Shall we put him third, then?

And your least likely...?

-Alec Guinness, I'd have thought.

-Alec Guinness, OK.

Let's put those up on the board in that order, and there they are.

Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Sid James.

We were looking for actors in The Ladykillers,

either the original or the 2004 remake.

Alec Guinness you said was your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot,

so let's see. Is Alec Guinness correct, and if it is,

how many people said it? Alec Guinness. This for £1,000.

It's right.

OK, a correct answer.

Now, it just has to go down to zero, and if it does,

you'll be leaving with £1,000.

31.

APPLAUSE

31, so not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

But you knew that was, he's the most famous person in it.

One of his most famous films. If you were to win that jackpot,

what would you do with it, Terry?

I'd probably take the wife and kids off for a short break.

Very good. John, how about you?

Yeah, me too. We enjoy camping in Cornwall,

-so this summer, we'll go away somewhere.

-Very nice.

OK, well, let's hope nobody said your next answer. Peter Sellers.

This has to be correct

and it has to be pointless for you to win that £1,000. Let's see.

Is Peter Sellers correct, and if it is, how many people said it?

OK, it's also right. Alec Guinness went down to 31.

Peter Sellers, let's see how far down he can take you.

If he goes all the way down, you leave with £1,000.

Still going down, 12!

APPLAUSE

12. Also not a pointless answer.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

It's going in the right direction. You're not sure? Sid James?

I don't know whether he was in it or not.

We're looking for actors in the Ladykillers.

Your third and final answer is Sid James.

You said you thought this was your best shot at a pointless answer.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless.

If it's both, you'll be leaving here with £1,000. Let's see. Sid James.

Is it right, and if so, how many people said Sid James?

Ohhh, bad luck.

-APPLAUSE

-Sure he was in it!

Bad luck. You didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000, which will roll over.

It's been lovely having you and you do take home the Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

-So, Richard.

-A valiant attempt, gents. You did Plymouth proud.

Sid James was in The Lavender Hill Mob.

Also in the Titfield Thunderbolt, but Lavender Hill Mob,

a similar film to The Ladykillers. Let's look at the pointless answers,

almost all of whom are from the 2004 film.

Aldis Hodge sounds like a '50s British actor,

but he's an American actor in the 2004 one.

George Wallace plays the sheriff in the 2004 one,

who's Jerry Seinfeld's best man.

JK Simmons, also in 2004. Maurice Watson, 2004.

Philip Stainton plays the sergeant in the 1955 one,

he's the only one of the 1955 cast who's a pointless answer.

Ryan Hurst, also from 2004, and these last three also in the remake.

Stephen Root, Tzi Ma and Walter K. Jordan.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Did you know any of those ones?

-Not the American ones.

-That's a relief, isn't it?

-Absolutely.

We do have to say goodbye to you, John and Terry,

but it's been great having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. John and Terry.

APPLAUSE

John and Terry didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over,

which means on the next show, we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile,

-it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd