Episode 29 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where the aim is to score as few points as you possibly can.

Let's meet today's players.

Welcome Tim and Tom. You are our first pair today.

How do you two know each other?

We both work for the Amateur Swimming Association in Loughborough.

-Right.

-Tim worked in accounts and I worked as a performance analyst.

Exciting! What exactly did you do?

People think we travel the world watching swimmers,

but my job involves sitting in front of a computer,

trying to predict the next gold medallist.

Who's it going to be, Tom, just between us?

There might be Americans and Australians watching, so I'll keep that to myself.

LAUGHTER

OK. What would you like to see come up this afternoon, Tim?

Er, English football or Bernard Cornwell's Sharpe books.

-Tom, how about you?

-I'd like to see anything to do with sport,

specifically swimming.

Excellent. Well, Tim and Tom,

Tim-Tom, great to have you on the show! Best of luck.

Next, we've got Kitty and Gemma. How do you two know each other?

It's a bit of a touchy subject.

-Is it?

-Yes. Geography, actually.

-OK.

We didn't really know one another and then, as punishment,

Mr Bateman sat Gemma next to me because we hated one another,

and here we are, friends ever since.

-Wow.

-And that was 15 years ago.

-16.

-This was at school, not just a couple of weeks ago.

BOTH: No!

-Where are you from, Gemma?

-Upper Rotherham in South Yorkshire.

-Upper Rotherham?

-Upper Rotherham.

-How much Rotherham is there?

There's no such place. It was an attempt to make us sound more posh than we are.

-But we're from Rotherham, anyway.

-OK.

What do you do, Gemma?

I'm training to be a solicitor, believe it or not.

-How long have you been training?

-I've got my law degree.

I've got to do a Legal Practice Course, which takes two years and I'm in my first.

-Right. So only one more year.

-And I'll be let loose on the public.

Then you are the law!

-I'll make my own laws.

-I dare say you do.

-Kitty, what do you do?

-I'm a radiographer.

-In Rotherham?

-In Rotherham, yes.

Are you going to be good on medical issues if that comes up?

-Bones.

-Yes.

-If you've got one on bones, I'll have that.

Very good. Gemma, what would you like to see?

I'm pretty good on music and mainstream literature.

-Nothing too out there.

-OK.

Kitty, Gemma, lovely to have you here.

Very best of luck.

Next, Heather and Matthew. How do you two know each other?

We went to secondary school and we've been best friends since then.

-Good. Where have you come from, Heather?

-Stockton-on-Tees.

-Stockton-on-Tees. And what do you do?

-I'm a sub-editor on my local newspaper.

A really good local press story usually has a photograph that tells the story.

-There's a chef with a cup and a massive pizza.

-Mm-hm.

-"Local Chef Wins Pizza Prize".

-LAUGHTER

Matthew, what do you do?

-I'm a mental health nurse.

-Very good indeed.

What disciplines do you cover? Is there anything that'll help you in Pointless?

Probably not!

Unless you ask me something about antipsychotic medication!

-LAUGHTER

-I might as an emergency,

but it won't be part of the game play, I don't think.

-Will it?

-You usually ask someone about it at some point during the show.

-Matthew, what would you like to see come up?

-Modern musicals,

television, film.

I don't really want sport. Anything sport, I'll cry.

Heather's shaking her head. Are you shaking on Matthew's behalf?

-Equally.

-OK, so sport won't be a good area for you.

It's great to have you on the show. Best of luck.

Finally, we've got Rick and Chris. How do you two know each other?

Rick is friends with my parents and we live in the same street.

-So -

-Short answer, "we're neighbours".

We're neighbours.

Rick may tell you an earlier event how he knows me.

I swear I used to chase him out of my garden when he was about ten.

-Neighbours...

-LAUGHTER

-He'll deny this.

-I was present, but I didn't participate.

-Rick, where are you from?

-We're from Hull,

the capital of Yorkshire, the beating heart of Great Britain.

OK. Chris, what do you do?

I am a financial administrator, which is about as unexciting as it sounds.

And, Rick, what do you do?

I'm retired. Every day's a weekend.

-It's fantastic. Can't beat it.

-Lovely.

Have you taken anything up since retirement?

A lot of daytime TV, actually.

-I've got nothing against daytime TV.

-It's well worth it.

-It's certainly worth it.

Chris, what are your hobbies? What do you love to do?

I recently attempted a world record. I get funny ideas and it snowballs.

There was a world-record attempt I made

for the fastest person to change a double duvet.

A solo double-duvet change?

It was an unofficial attempt. It wasn't adjudicated by Guinness or anything.

I'm the current world-record holder. Seven-and-a-half minutes.

LAUGHTER Beat that. Imagine that.

Mind you, for you, your arm-span would probably go from one corner to the other.

-They call it the Albatross.

-The Albatross?

-That's the technique.

What is your technique, Chris?

-Inside-out first.

-Oh!

-Grab a corner...

I did it. The record was 63 seconds.

In my own little world, I did it in 61.

-APPLAUSE

-That's good. That is good.

Rick and Chris, it's lovely to have you here. Very best of luck.

We will find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce, a man so intelligent

we only get to see the top half of him.

-He's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hello!

Hiya!

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Four brand-new pairs.

-I know.

It was a rarity. Now it's happening all the time.

Virgin territory. No-one here has answered a question yet. It's an absolutely open field.

The first round is a round for geography teachers everywhere.

OK, well, thank you very much, Richard.

All our questions have been put to 100 people.

We are looking for the obscure answers that they didn't get.

To stay in the game and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

they need to score as few points as they can.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer, an answer that no-one gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at a whopping £8,000.

Right, let's play Pointless.

Now, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

Whichever pair has the highest score will be eliminated.

If you give an incorrect answer, you score the maximum of 100 points, so try and avoid those if you can.

Our first category is:

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many:

-Richard!

-Yes, it's a tricky one.

We're looking for any country that's either wholly or partly in Europe

that is not a member of the EU.

And that's up to the end of 2011.

By country, we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Thanks very much. Tim and Tom, you all drew lots before the show

and this afternoon, you get to go first.

-So, Tim?

-There's a few that I can think of, a few obvious ones,

but...

Oh, no. Erm... I'm going to go for...

..Norway.

Norway, says Tim. Let's see if Norway's right

and how many of our 100 people said Norway.

It's right.

-It's a great answer. 20.

-APPLAUSE

20 for Norway.

Well played, Tim. Very solid start. It's nerve-racking being at that first podium.

-Kitty.

-THEY LAUGH

Oh, Kitty. This is a tough one.

It is. I've got an idea in mind, though,

because I'm thinking about travel insurance

and places that are included in travel insurance that are European,

but aren't actually European.

As in Turkey.

-You're going to go for Turkey.

-And keep my fingers crossed.

OK. Let's see if Turkey's right and how many people said Turkey.

It's right.

Phew!

-20. Identical scores.

-APPLAUSE

Very well done. Richard.

Well done, Kitty. Solid answer. They'd like to be in the EU, but aren't, as of the end of 2011.

We're looking for European countries that aren't members of the EU.

-Matthew.

-Geography's not my special subject! Erm...

I'll guess at Croatia.

Croatia, says Matthew.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Croatia.

It's right!

20 seems to be the score... Oh, you've gone way below that! 8!

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, Matthew. 8 for Croatia.

Well played, Matthew. It will become a member in July 2013.

Rick. We're looking for European countries that are not members of the EU.

I'm going to ride on a very high horse and hope I don't fall off.

-I'm going to go Belarus.

-Belarus, says Rick.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Belarus.

It's right.

Very, very well done indeed, Rick!

That's a cracking high horse. 5 points for Belarus.

-Richard.

-Well played, Rick. Very good round so far, isn't it?

-Yes.

-It's a landlocked country in Eastern Europe.

Former part of the Soviet Union.

Good!

-I haven't got a lot of Belarus material.

-No.

-The capital is Minsk, I'll tell you that.

-Mint?

-No. Minsk.

-Minsk.

-Yes.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

The lowest score - Belarus. Rick, fabulous score. 5.

Then up to 8, where we find Matthew and Heather.

And then 20, where we find Kitty and Gemma and Tim and Tom.

So it's between Tom and Gemma, I would say, in this next pass.

You've got to each find a really good, low-scoring,

obscure, non-EU European country.

OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

-So, Chris, that was a cracking answer from Rick there.

-It was.

You're on 5. The high scorers on 20 are Tim and Tom, Gemma and Kitty,

which means a score of 14 or less from you

will see you through to the next round.

OK. Erm...

A friend of mine is going to go to this place in October

and I'm pretty sure he told me it's not an EU country.

So I'm going to have a try at Hungary.

-Hungary.

-Hungary.

-OK, here's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are definitely in the next round.

Is it right? How many people said Hungary?

Ooh! Bad luck, Chris!

Bad luck, Chris. It's good news for your friend's travel insurance!

But, unfortunately, that is an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-I clearly wasn't listening.

-That takes your total up to 105!

The round's not over yet.

-Richard.

-Unlucky, Chris.

It joined in 2004.

So, Heather, the great news is

that Chris and Rick are a long way ahead on 105.

A score of 96 or less

will see you through to the next round.

I'm thinking Eastern Europe,

but I've no idea, so I'll go with the Ukraine.

-Ukraine.

-Uh-huh.

OK. Listen, I can tell you now, Rick is nodding.

My rule of thumb is, Rick nod - good!

-Rick shake - bad!

-LAUGHTER

There's your red line, lovely and high.

Let's see if the Ukraine gets you below that red line.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right! You're through!

Ah, look at that! Lovely score! 6.

-That takes your total up to 14.

-Well done!

-Richard.

-Very well played, Heather. Do you know an interesting fact about the Ukraine?

It's where Chris's friend is going on holiday this year!

Now then, Gemma.

The high scorers on 105 are Chris and Rick. You're on 20,

which means a score of 84 or less

will see you through to the next round.

I'm going to say Romania.

-Romania.

-It isn't even a European country!

There's your red line. Below that, you are through to the next round.

Is it right? How many people said Romania?

-It's wrong.

-Oh, no! Bad luck, Gemma!

Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 120. Richard.

Sorry, Gemma. It joined in 2007.

To be fair, a long time after you were in geography class.

-Maybe that's the problem.

-Yes.

-Geo-political shifts of...

I don't think geography teacher should be responsible for things that happen after...

The school run. Anything that happens after three o'clock.

-Yes! Pretty much!

-LAUGHTER

Now, Tom,

-you work in swimming.

-I do work in swimming.

You'll know all about European countries.

I've also got a degree in geography, so...

LAUGHTER

I didn't mention that one! Er...

I have in my head got some more far-flung answers,

but I think I'll play it safe. I'm going to go for Switzerland.

Switzerland, says Tom.

I tell you what, Rick says yes!

Switzerland. Let's see if that's right and how many people said Switzerland.

Your red line is up there, right below the pink one.

Yes, you've done it.

23.

You did what you had to do. Takes your total to 43.

Richard.

Well played, Tom. Safe answer. Actually, the biggest answer of all.

But you didn't need to take a risk. What would you have gone for?

I was thinking Armenia, Estonia.

If you'd said Estonia, you'd have been out of the round.

Armenia was a great pointless answer.

Let's take a look at some of the other pointless answers.

Armenia, Kazakhstan, a very small part of Kazakhstan is in Europe,

and Moldova, all pointless.

Some of the other low scorers - Montenegro, Azerbaijan, Andorra,

San Marino, Belarus we've had, all good answers.

And we've heard all three of the top answers.

Kitty gave us Turkey for 20. Then Tim gave us Norway for 20.

And we've just heard Switzerland on 23.

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

Thank you very much, Richard. At the end of the First Round, the losing pair is Kitty and Gemma.

-Aww!

-APPLAUSE

-At least we've still got each other.

-You've got each other.

It wasn't bad at all. I thought Romania was a correct answer.

-Ah, thank you!

-Well, I know nothing.

I wouldn't take too much solace from that! But there we are!

Listen, Gemma and Kitty, we'll see you again next time.

I'm sure you'll go a lot further. We'll give you a much better question.

Meanwhile, thanks for playing, Gemma and Kitty.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round Two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head,

so one team will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Our Round Two category is:

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Our Round Two question concerns:

Literary Rogues and Villains.

-Richard.

-We're going to show you a list of six literary rogues or villains.

Tell us the name of the first book or play in which they appeared.

The very best of luck.

Thank you. We are looking for the play or book in which these rogues or villains first appeared.

And we have got:

I'll read those all one more time.

There they are. There are our rogues and villains.

Tim.

I'm really...

I've just started reading a book with one of those characters in it.

I don't think the book I'm reading is the first time he appears.

I'm not sure if I should gamble... or not.

I'm going to gamble, Tom.

-I'm going to go for...

-LAUGHTER

..Tom Brown Notes is the answer I'll give for Harry Flashman.

OK, Tom Brown Notes says Tim.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that.

Bad luck, Tim.

Bad luck. That's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. So sorry.

-Heather.

-Mm.

-Heather. How does that board look to you?

-Not good.

I'm going to have to play it safe and hope that Fagin is Oliver Twist.

Oliver Twist, says Heather, for Fagin.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that.

Fagin. Oliver Twist.

It's right.

63.

APPLAUSE

-Not bad. Richard.

-Leader of a den of child pick-pockets.

Big score, but when there's 100, quite a good tactic.

-So, Rick, I have a feeling you'll know a fair few of these.

-I know one.

-Only one.

-Really?

-Mm.

That's from a favourite black-and-white film of mine.

-Pinkie Brown. Brighton Rock.

-Brighton Rock. Pinkie Brown.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

-Ooh, that's a great answer!

-APPLAUSE

8 points.

-8 points.

-If you only know one of them, it's a good one to know.

The leader of the Brighton gang in Graham Greene's novel.

Played by Richard Attenborough, and Sam Riley in the 2010 remake.

It's not Tom Brown's Notes.

Tom Brown's School Days was the answer.

-I thought you were going to get that right!

-I thought you were. 12. It would've been a good answer.

Any of the these, Xander? Dr Hannibal Lecter?

What's the first book?

I don't know what the first book was. It wasn't Silence of the Lambs.

No, it wasn't. It wasn't Manhunter, the first film. It's Red Dragon.

Well done if you got that. It would've scored four points.

Annie Wilkes?

More famous as a film, possibly. A Stephen King novel.

Misery. 6 points.

She's the character that Kathy Bates plays.

-Kevin Khatchadourian?

-We Need To Talk About Kevin.

-We Need To Talk About Kevin Khatchadourian.

-We need to talk about how to pronounce his surname.

-Pointless answer. Well done if you got that.

Very good. Thank you. Let's take a look at those scores.

Rick and Chris looking very strong on 8.

Then up to 63, where we find Heather and Matthew.

Then up to 100, where we find Tim and Tom.

Tom, we're going to be looking for a really good obscure answer from you

and hope that's enough to see you through to the head-to-head.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, let's put six more villains up on the board.

Here they go.

I'll read those all one more time.

There we are. We are looking for the book or play

in which each of these villains first appeared.

You're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Chris, you're in a very strong position, thanks to Rick.

-I am.

You're on 8. The high scorers are Tom and Tim.

-A score of 91 will see you through to the head-to-head.

-OK.

I've got an idea of one of them and I'm embarrassed to admit it,

but I think Daniel Cleaver is Bridget Jones's Diary.

Daniel Cleaver. Bridget Jones's Diary.

There's your red line. Why are you so embarrassed by Bridget Jones's Diary?

-It's not a very butch film, is it?

-LAUGHTER

Let's see if you get below the line. Bridget Jones's Diary for Daniel Cleaver.

How many people said it? Is it right?

It's right and you're through to the next round.

-Not bad at all. 14.

-I've redeemed myself.

You've done extremely well there. Takes your total up to 22.

It was at the back of your head. You did well to bring it out. I think that puts you safely through.

Appeared in Bridget Jones's Diary, first published in 1996.

Matthew, you're on 63. The high scorers are Tim and Tom on 100,

which means a score of 36 or less will definitely see you into the next round.

We're looking for the books or plays

in which these rogues or villains first appeared.

I've absolutely no idea on any of those!

I'm going to take a guess.

Alfred Doolittle, My Fair Lady.

Alfred Doolittle, My Fair Lady, you are saying.

That's what your red line looks like.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Alfred Doolittle, My Fair Lady.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

-Bad luck, Matthew.

-Sorry!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, which means you score 100 points.

That takes your total up to 163.

Tom. Phew! There was a lifeline.

The high scorers are Matthew and Heather on 163. You're on 100.

A score of 62 or less will see you straight through to the next round.

I had an inkling of Daniel Cleaver, but of the others,

there isn't any synapses going on in my head for any book.

The one I'm thinking of is Count Fosco

and I will go with Dracula.

Count Fosco, Dracula.

There's quite a famous Count in Dracula.

-Can't remember what his name is.

-Neither can I!

Let's discover. There's your line. Let's see if it's right

and how many people said Count Fosco, Dracula.

Bad luck, Tom.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, which means you score 100 points.

That takes your total up to 200.

-Richard.

-Not a million miles away in terms of style from Dracula,

but it's Wilkie Collins, The Woman In White.

It would've scored 1. Very good answer if you got that at home.

Matthew, Alfred Doolittle is in My Fair Lady, but it's based on George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion.

-Oh, yes.

-That's the answer we're looking for. That would've scored you 8 points.

-Shylock, Alexander?

-The Merchant Of Venice.

That's the easiest one on the board for 35.

-Nurse Mildred Ratched?

-One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Would've scored you 10.

This is the hardest one. This is a pointless answer. Svengali.

We all know the term and the character, but what's the book?

Trilby.

Correct. Very well done. Pointless answer.

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of Round Two, the losing pair, it's Tim and Tom.

But what a high score!

If you are going to go out, for goodness sake, go out on 200.

-That was a tough round.

-Yes.

-I thought you were going to get there. You said Tom Brown Notes?

-Yes.

-Thinking maybe it must be...

-I couldn't quite think of the rest.

I would've done better on the second board.

-I would've done better on the first.

-LAUGHTER

Had you only chosen which order to go in better, you might still be with us.

Tim and Tom, we look forward to seeing you again next time.

-Meanwhile, thanks for playing.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things are about to get more exciting

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations!

You are one round from the final and a chance to win that jackpot, which currently stands at:

There we are!

Only one pair can win that money.

To decide which pair, you will go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

You are now allowed to confer.

It's been a fascinating game. Heather and Matthew, wonderful first round.

Lovely low score from you.

Then you came slightly unstuck

and were saved by Tim and Tom's high score.

Rick and Chris, consistent low scores from you.

You were a little bit unlucky with the non-EU members,

but you were fantastic in that second round.

So it's going to be a very interesting third round.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here is your first question. It concerns:

-Types of dog, Richard.

-If it was up to me,

this show would consist entirely of us showing you pictures of dogs,

but we've just got five of them for you.

-Different show, that.

-It would be good, though.

Just look at cute dogs and go, "Ahh!"

We're going to show you five types of dog now.

Can you pick the most obscure of these five? Best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard. Here come our five types of dog.

We have got...

Aww! LAUGHTER

ALL: Ahh!

-ALL: Ahh!

-I dare you all to go, "Eurgh!"

-Eurgh!

-LAUGHTER

ALL: Ahh!

-There are your five types of dog.

-That's a show, isn't it?

-It is!

It is. Rick and Chris, you played best throughout, so you get to go first.

-St Bernard.

-Go on, then.

-Yes.

I think we're quite moronic on this, actually.

Our brains have come up with D.

-Yes?

-St Bernard.

D, St Bernard.

OK, so we have D, St Bernard from Rick and Chris.

Heather and Matthew, you can do all your talking out loud.

We... We knew D. Or at least we thought we did.

-We did.

-They stole our answer!

Er, we also know E, but we think that's going to be an obvious one.

I do know C, but I don't remember.

I had a neighbour who had those dogs.

-Can't remember what they're called?

-No.

BOTH: We'll have to go for E.

BOTH: E, Dalmatian.

E, Dalmatian. So it's between the St Bernard and the Dalmatian.

Rick and Chris are saying that D is a St Bernard.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that.

It's right. Oh. OK, 87.

Heather and Matthew said Dalmatian. Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that.

E, Dalmatian.

Eee!

My, that's a popular dog!

Very well done. You pip it with the St Bernard.

After just one question, you are ahead 1-0.

-Richard.

-It's a big score - 97. Only four away from 101 Dalmatians!

LAUGHTER AND GROANS

They're actually the top answers on the board.

"A" was a high scorer, as well. That's a Boxer.

Would've scored you 62.

Now, B is the best answer on the board.

It's quite a high score, though. 22 points for a Shar Pei.

It's cute, isn't it?

And C is the Chow Chow.

Would've scored you 28 points. Good answer.

Well done if you got all five. Well done if you've got any of those five.

-Imagine if anyone's got all five.

-Some people will.

-Do you reckon?

-Yes.

-Heather and Matthew, did you know any? Chow Chow? You remembered it?

-And Boxer.

I can't believe I didn't know Boxer.

That's the reason why this show is not going to be all about dogs.

People like them, they just don't really know what they are!

LAUGHTER Well, 62 people knew Boxer.

Here comes your second question. Heather and Matthew, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

It concerns:

Britpop Bands.

-Richard.

-We'll show you five Britpop bands.

We'll give you the initials of one of their top-40 singles.

Can you name that single, please?

-HE SIGHS

-OK.

Let's reveal our Britpop bands and the initials of their singles.

I'll read those all one more time.

Now then, Heather and Matthew, you go first.

You're looking for the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-I only know one.

-I think it's probably one of their biggest songs, though, isn't it?

Blur? Are you sure?

We're going to go with Blur, Country House.

Blur, Country House, say Heather and Matthew.

Rick and Chris, over to you.

I'll sit this one out.

Er... Oasis, I'm struggling with.

I probably know it, but I can't find it in my filing cabinet.

Shed Seven, I was never really a fan.

I know Pulp would be Common People.

Blur will be middle of the road, so I'm going to have a stab at Radiohead.

I think it's Paranoid Android.

Paranoid Android, Radiohead, you are saying.

OK. We have Country House and we have Paranoid Android.

Heather and Matthew, you've gone for Blur, CH, Country House.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

You have to win this to stay with us.

Country House. Is it right?

Yes, of course it is right.

-19.

-APPLAUSE

19. Not a bad score at all.

Rick and Chris, you are saying Paranoid Android for PA by Radiohead.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

19 is the score you have to beat. If you do, you'll be straight through to the final.

It's right.

-You've done it. 13!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done.

Very well done, Chris. That means you are through to the final 2-0.

-Richard.

-Well played, Chris. It's Radiohead's biggest hit. Number three in 1997.

The Oasis one is the one that was in competition with Country House for number one.

Roll With It would've scored 20, so the Gallaghers have the last laugh.

It came number two to Blur's one, but one more person remembers it.

Pulp was the biggest answer. That's Common People. 36.

-I don't think we've ever mentioned Shed Seven.

-Love them.

-We should.

-GFG?

-Going For Gold.

-Going For Gold.

-Would've scored 7.

-Cracking band.

-Well done if you got all of those.

Wonderful. Thank you very much.

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid, Heather and Matthew.

Well, your scoreboard belies a phenomenal Pointless talent

that you revealed earlier in the show.

It happens in the head-to-head.

You'll have two subjects that you don't know particularly well.

But you performed so consistently well throughout.

The good news is, we get to see you again

when I'm sure we will see just as much, if not more of you.

Meanwhile, Heather and Matthew. Thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for Rick and Chris, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Rick and Chris. You have fought off the competition

and have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You have a chance to win our jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £8,000.

APPLAUSE

You've made a very good account of yourselves. You've come in pretty much flawlessly.

One incorrect answer from you in the first round, but a very tricky question.

But other than that, a fairly clean sweep up to the head-to-head,

where you were through in straight sets, 2-0.

So it's all looking pretty good for that jackpot.

OK, the rules are very simple. All you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers today.

You only have to find one and you will go home with that £8,000.

You've got to choose a category. You can choose from these options:

Oh, dear. What are we going to do?

I'm happy to go with your best guess.

-HE HUMS TO SELF

-Literary Fiction.

OK, Literary Fiction it is. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Salman Rushdie Novels as they could.

Salman Rushdie Novels. Richard.

We're looking for any novel or novel for children.

We won't include short-story collections or non-fiction.

Just any of Salman Rushdie's novels. Very best of luck.

OK. Thank you very much.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need, to win that £8,000,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-I hope you've got one!

-I know one!

-Really?

The whole world and their granny knows this one.

I've got nothing. Who is Salman Rushdie?

See, I've only got one.

-You've got one.

-One. That's all there is to it.

Name some books!

Well, you can name any books, but, er...

Even Thomas Hardy or someone would've been...

-Afraid not.

-I can't even tell you who he is.

No. No idea.

-Stop the clock and...

-OK.

You're going to have to give me three answers. OK. There we are. We're going to stop the clock.

-Give him the one you've got.

-Right.

We'll go for The Brothers Karamazov.

-The Brothers Karamazov!

-Erm...

Far From The Madding Crowd.

-Far From The Madding Crowd. OK.

-LAUGHTER

The Midnight's Children.

-The Midnight's Children?

-Yes.

OK, of those three, which do you think is your best shot

-at a pointless answer?

-Rock, paper, scissors?

It's a toughie! Erm...

-We'll go for Midnight's Children.

-Midnight's Children. OK.

We'll put that one last.

Which one do you want first?

-We'll go for The Brothers Karamazov.

-OK. We'll put them up on the board in that order.

Here they are.

OK. We were looking for Salman Rushdie novels.

The Brothers Karamazov was your first answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that £8,000.

But let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Yes. Well, we knew that. Yes, I'm afraid...

I know! I couldn't believe it either.

-LAUGHTER

-Not a Salman Rushdie novel.

Not a pointless answer. Only two more shots.

-Let's just say...

-LAUGHTER

Let's just say you leave here with £8,000,

what would you spend it on? Chris?

A collection of Salman Rushdie novels.

I'd like to learn to play the guitar, because there's a frustrated rock star inside me,

trapped in this talentless, tone-deaf exterior.

-HE SIGHS

-Other than that, I don't know.

-I might go to Hungary.

-LAUGHTER

I gather the insurance is cheap.

Rick, how about you?

Season tickets for my five sons and me at the mighty Tigers, Hull City.

-The mighty Hull City.

-The mighty Tigers.

-Very good indeed.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Far From The Madding Crowd! I suspect they didn't.

Let's see if it's right.

Yes. I think we probably knew.

Only one more chance to win. We are in proper Pointless territory.

Midnight's Children. We are looking for Salman Rushdie novels.

This, you said, was your best shot as a pointless answer.

Let us see. It has to be right and it has to be pointless.

If it's both, you will win the jackpot of £8,000.

Let's see. Midnight's Children for £8,000...

There we are. That's more like it.

So down it goes. Going down at a good speed, through the 40s, through the 30s.

If this goes down to zero, you'll leave with £8,000.

Into single figures... 6!

APPLAUSE

That's a perfectly creditable score.

-Leave on a high note.

-Leave on a high.

That's really not a bad score. Think how pleased you'd be with that in normal game play.

It's just, you have to find a pointless answer.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that crucial pointless answer.

You won't be leaving with today's jackpot of £8,000, which rolls over onto the next show.

But you have been brilliant contestants.

You do, of course, get to take away the Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

-Richard.

-Tough luck, guys. Wrong category for you.

Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky. Far From The Madding Crowd, Hardy.

Midnight's Children won the 1981 Booker Prize, and went on to win the Booker of Bookers Prize.

Far and away the biggest scorer was Satanic Verses, the biggest by a mile.

There's only three pointless answers. Let's take a look at all three.

Haroun And The Sea of Stories, his novel for children.

The follow-up, 20 years later, Luka And The Fire Of Life.

The winner of the 1995 Whitbread Prize, The Moor's Last Sigh.

Very well done if you got any of those at home. Tough category.

Very tough indeed. Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you.

It's been lovely having you on. Thank you so much for playing.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, Rick and Chris didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over,

which means on the next show we will be playing for £9,000.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

-APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd