Episode 57 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

Welcome, Stuart and Paul.

You are our first pair on the show today. How do you two know each other?

We both work together at a caravan dealership.

-Where is that, Stuart?

-In Shrewsbury.

Paul, what are you hoping for today?

Hopefully music, films, something along those lines.

Any favourite kind of music?

Music, I like anything, '60s, '70s, to modern stuff, really, as well.

That's good, so a nice, broad base, there.

In my spare time I run karaoke and disco nights as well.

-Fantastic.

-So I've got a bit of knowledge.

Stuart, what would you like to see?

Movies. Movies are my thing. I've got a huge collection at home.

Right. Do you have a favourite director, or favourite actor?

I love most of the things by Scorsese.

Anything crime, gangster, that sort of thing.

OK, very good, very good.

Anything you'd particularly not like to see, Paul?

Wouldn't want to see food, anything like that, because, basically...

No-one wants to see food.

Basically, I live on my own, I don't do a lot of cooking.

Takeaways, pot noodles, that sort of thing,

so food, geography, something like that.

OK, well, very best of luck to Stuart and Paul. It's great to have you here.

Next, we welcome Ian and Ann. How do you two know each other?

I'm here with my mum. I met her 45 years ago.

I can't remember the first meeting, though. I think she can.

I bet she can.

Definitely.

Where are you from, Ann?

Shildon, County Durham.

Shildon in County Durham, wonderful. What do you do, Ann?

I'm retired now, but I do a lot of knitting,

and I've brought you a present.

-Oh, have you?

-Yes.

Have you?

Yes.

Ah, look at that!

APPLAUSE

They're to scale, as well.

Ha-ha-ha!

That's nice.

Look at that. That is nice. They're to scale, as well. Look at that!

"Why, I oughta..."

Boom!

Ka-cha!

Urghh!

Boom!

Urgh!

"Get off my desk!"

Aaah!

Grrr!

Aaaah!

Aaaaaaaaah!

APPLAUSE

-I like them.

-These are great.

-Ah!

-Ah!

-We're going to have lots of fun with them.

Ah!

-That's nice.

-That's nice.

LAUGHTER

I'll put it back, I'll put it back. There we are.

There we go. Ann, those are fabulous.

What would you like to see come up?

Musicals and nature questions.

Very good indeed. Ian, what do you do?

I'm a debt adviser.

A debt adviser.

Anything you'd particularly not like to see come up?

Well, the intellectual things, really.

Geography, history, science, Greek gods, Norse gods.

Nice specificity there. I like Norse gods.

You're going to be good at this, something tells me.

Very good. It's lovely to have you here, and I can't thank you enough for those dolls. They are fantastic.

-I think action figures, I'm going to call them.

-Action figures, yeah.

They're woollen action figures. Anyway, very, very best of luck on the show.

Next, we welcome Caroline and Andy L.

Now, how do you two know each other?

Well, Caroline's been my sister for as long as I can remember,

which is quite a long time.

Thank you.

Where are you from, Caroline?

I'm from Northampton.

-From Northampton. Andy?

-I'm from Leeds.

-And what do you do, Caroline?

-I'm a midwife.

How many infants have you presided over?

I've not got the exact number, but it's well over 450.

Wow, that is a lot. Andy, what do you do?

I work in a job centre. Personal adviser in a job centre.

Caroline, what would you like to see come up?

Science and nature, food and drink.

More food than drink.

-More food than drink.

-Yeah.

Andy, what would you like to see come up? What would be good for you?

Yeah, geography as well, I think. I've done quite a lot of travelling.

Well, welcome to the show, Caroline and Andy.

Great to have you here.

Finally, we welcome back Grant and Andy C. What happened? Remind us. You were on the show last time.

Everybody gets two chances to reach the final.

This is your second chance. Remind us what happened.

Apparently Yugoslavia's not a country any more.

-Of course, you meant to say Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

-That's the one.

Grant, how do you two know each other?

We met when Andy's dad, who's a kitchen designer,

was fitting one in my grandparents' flat,

and I was hovering about, and he thought we'd get on well,

I don't know why, but we've stuck at it for the last 15 years.

And we do get on some of the time.

-And here you are, 15 years later, appearing on Pointless.

-Yeah.

-Your friendship will survive that.

-I don't know.

-I'm not sure.

We might want to go our separate ways after this!

And, Grant, what's going to help you stay with us?

-What are going to be good categories?

-Sports.

-Sports.

-Football, golf.

-OK.

Sitcoms, films.

Very good. Well, please can we see more of you this time.

Very best of luck to the pair of you.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show as we go along.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He asks the questions that make the inside of your head itch.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Afternoon.

Good afternoon to you.

This should be a good show today.

We've only got one returning pair, that's Grant and Andy C,

who didn't cover themselves in glory last time, but looking at question one today,

I think you'll get through round one today.

-I think you will, and our three new pairs, a very, very useful bunch.

-Aren't they?

Often, people's jobs are fairly selfish and self serving.

If you want to be born, Caroline's your woman.

She's your person.

Andy, he can get you a job at the job centre.

When you lose that job, Ian can get you out of debt,

-and these guys can get you a caravan!

-See?

That's all that life needs, isn't it?

Yeah, right there.

Born, work, debt, caravan. The big four.

It's like a terrible, terrible A-Team.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and have a chance of winning our jackpot,

our players must score as few points as possible.

Now, what everyone's trying to do, of course,

is to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer, you will score

the maximum of 100 points, so do try and avoid those if you can.

OK, our first category is...

Football. There it is.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, and who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out the question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many teams

in the 2011/2012 UEFA Champions League as they could.

Richard.

We're looking for any of the 32 teams who qualified

for at least the group stages of the 2011/2012 Champions League.

Very best of luck.

OK, thank you very much. Now, then, Stuart and Paul.

You all drew lots before the show, and today, you are going first.

Stuart, is this good for you?

Yes.

Well, I thought it was, but I've gone completely blank,

so I'm going to have to take it very safe and say Arsenal.

Arsenal, says Stuart. Arsenal.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Arsenal?

It's right.

51.

APPLAUSE

51 for Arsenal.

Yeah, pretty big score, Stuart,

and there may be bigger scores to come.

Now, then, Ann. How is this for you as a category?

Very good.

I'll have to go for one that might be more than that,

and just say Manchester United.

Manchester United, says Ann.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Man United.

It's right.

Oooh, 80!

Well, it's better than 100, Ann, isn't it?

Man United beat Arsenal 80-51.

Rooney scored 27 of them.

Andy, Andy L.

Now, remember, we are looking for teams who played

in the 2011/2012 UEFA Champions League.

I should be very good at this, but I'm struggling, really.

I think this is correct. Ajax, of Amsterdam.

Ajax, says Andy, Ajax.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Ajax.

It's right.

Very well done indeed, Andy L.

APPLAUSE

That's a great score.

Six for Ajax.

Well done. Qualified by winning the Dutch league.

They won the Champions League themselves in 1995.

And, Andy C.

Erm, I'm going to go with Napoli.

Napoli.

Napoli. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done, Andy.

Best score of the pass. Four.

That's more your cup of tea, isn't it, Andy? Champions league.

They qualified by coming third in Serie A. It's the first time they've been in the group stages.

Well, we're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at our scores.

Four, Andy. The best score of that pass, Andy C.

So, Andy and Grant looking particularly strong on four.

Then we come up to six, where we find Andy L and Caroline,

then up to 51, where we find Stuart and Paul,

and then up to 80, where we find Ann and Ian.

I mean, you're not miles out in front, there, Ann and Ian,

but far enough for you, Ian,

to need to find a very obscure answer on the next pass

if we're to see you into the next round.

OK, we're going to come back. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

Now then, Grant.

That was a great answer from Andy C, lowest score so far.

Do you think you can get a lower score?

There's a couple of teams that I'm pretty confident on,

but since the score was so good,

I think I'm going to play moderately safe and go with Basel.

Basel, says Grant.

The high scorers are Ian and Ann on 80.

You're on four,

which means a score of 75 or less will see you into the next round.

Basel, says Grant. Let's see how many people said that. Basel.

There's your red line.

Well done, you've done it.

And you've done it.

You're through to the next round.

You scored only three,

so you managed to score less than Andy C as well.

That takes your total up to seven.

The Swiss champions had a memorable Champions League, knocking out Man United.

Caroline.

So, remember, we're looking for teams

that played in the 2011/2012 UEFA Champions League.

You're on six. The high scorers remain Ian and Ann on 80,

which means 73 or less will keep you in the game.

Andy's helped me, because he's allowed me to play safe,

and I'm going to say Bayern Munich.

Bayern Munich, says Caroline. Let's see if that's right,

and if so, how many people said Bayern Munich?

Here's your red line. Quite nice and high. Bayern Munich.

Yeah, you've done it.

20.

20 for Bayern Munich takes your total up to 26.

Well played, Caroline. Safely through.

The most successful German team in European history.

Now, then, Ian. Is this a good category for you?

Darlington never qualified for the Champions League this year, so I didn't take much interest.

I'm going to have to have to try and pull something out of the bag,

but I don't think I'm going to be able to. I'll go for Porto.

Porto, says Ian. Porto.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Porto.

You're the highest scorers on 80, Ian,

so I'm afraid there's no red line for you.

You just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can. Porto.

It's right.

Very well done indeed, Ian.

A cracking answer. Lovely low score.

Four takes your total to 84. Could be enough to keep you in the game. Richard.

Yeah, given yourself a chance, there, with a terrific answer.

They won it, of course, in 2004, Porto, under Jose Mourinho.

Now then, Paul. The moment of truth.

The high scorers are still Ian and Ann,

but now they're on 84, you're on 51.

Your target is 32 or less.

I should know a few.

I think I will go with Lyon.

-Lyon.

-Yes.

OK, Lyon, says Paul. Here's your red line.

Not as high as it might be.

Let's see if Lyon's right,

and if it is, let's see if it gets you below that red line.

Lyon.

It's right.

Well done, you've done it.

Seven.

Seven for Lyon takes your total up to 58.

Well played, Paul.

Very good round from everyone. Finished third in the French league, Lyon.

There's a bunch of pointless answers. Let's take a look, see if you got any of these at home.

All of these would have added £250 to the jackpot.

Apoel Nicosia from Cyprus would have added £250.

CSKA Moscow, they're from Moscow.

Dinamo Zagreb, they're from...

-Zagreb.

-Zagreb, in Croatia, absolutely right.

Let's have a look at the next page.

Otelul Galats is how I'm going to pronounce them.

They're from Romania, anyway. Shakhtar Donetsk.

Do you know what they're famous for?

From Ukraine, a very good team.

Very famous for losing to Fulham in the Europa League two years ago, when I was there.

That's what they're most famous for.

Trabzonspor, from Turkey, also a pointless answer. Well done if you said that.

Let's take a look at the highest scores. We've already had a couple.

Stuart gave us Arsenal, for 51.

There's Chelsea, 63, and who would have thought it?

Again, Man United, right at the top with 80.

Ann gave us that.

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of round one,

the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid it's Ian and Ann.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry. No incorrect answer there.

I'm sorry that we have to say goodbye to you so soon.

You're not waving goodbye?

THEY SNIFF

We'll see you again next time, and we'll look forward to that,

but, meanwhile, thank you for playing, Ian and Ann. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Obviously, there's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head round,

so one of the pairs in front of me now will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Well, Grant and Andy, they're the golden boys after that round.

That was more like it, wasn't it? That felt much better than last show.

We were discussing it,

-and we could have had about four pointless answers between the two of us.

-Really?

We just played safe, yeah.

Well, that's probably sensible. But, anyway, very well done.

There they are, that's the pair to beat, everyone.

OK, our category for round two is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever is first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

-Wow. Richard.

-Hold onto your hats.

World airports are known by those three letter codes,

the ones you get on baggage tags, that sort of thing.

We're going to show you six of those codes on each pass.

You need to tell us which city does that code apply to,

which city's airport does that code apply to.

An obscure answer scores fewer points, an incorrect answer will be 100 points.

There's going to be 12 codes in all to decipher at home.

Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much.

So, we are looking for the cities in which you would find these airports,

represented by their three-letter codes.

And we have got...

I'll read them one last time.

BKK, CAI, DEL, JFK, KIN, and LAX.

There we are.

Six three-letter codes for international airports,

and we're looking for the cities in which you would find those airports.

Stuart.

Well, looking down the list, none of them are ringing any bells,

so I obviously haven't been there, so again,

I'm going to play safe, and go LAX, Los Angeles.

OK, LAX for Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, says Stuart. Is it right? How many people knew that answer?

It's correct.

57.

57, but you have taken one of the more easy ones off the board,

so you might have taken someone else's lifeline away, there.

57 for LAX.

Yes, LAX is Los Angeles International Airport. The fifth busiest in the world.

It occurs to me, if you work in security there, you work for LAX security.

-Good point.

-That's not great, is it?

Not great.

Caroline.

We're looking for the cities where you would find these airports.

I know two for definite, and I can guess two more.

I'm going to play fairly safe, though. I'm going to go BKK, Bangkok.

BKK, Bangkok.

Bangkok, says Caroline.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

Bangkok.

It's right.

42.

42. That's quite a high score.

Yeah, I think BKK, what other city is it going to be?

The clue's sort of there, isn't it?

Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, that is.

-Suvarnabhumi?

-Suvarnabhumi, yeah.

-Good.

-You got a problem with that?

-Nope.

Sure?

Want to take it up with LAX security?

No, it's fine.

It's fine. Grant, you are the last person to have this board.

You can muse on it out loud for us, if you like.

There is a few. JFK probably being the most obvious one, New York.

The top two, I think CAI might be Cairo, and DEL might be Delhi.

But I'm going to go with CAI, and go for Cairo.

Cairo, CAI, says Grant. Cairo.

Let's see if it's right, and let's see how many people said Cairo was CAI.

Absolutely right.

That's a great answer, Grant. Look at that. Best score of the pass. 14.

14 for Cairo.

Yeah, well played, Grant. Cairo International Airport.

You also chose the best one of the ones you knew, as well, if we take a look at the other scores.

JFK, as you say, is in New York, John F Kennedy Airport.

It would have scored 66.

DEL is New Delhi, that would have scored you 31.

KIN. Do you know KIN?

Kinshasa?

Well, I thought maybe Kinshasa. It actually Kingston, in Jamaica.

Would have scored four points.

I suspect many people may have made the same mistake,

but very well done if you got all six of those.

Thanks very much, Richard. Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 14, scored Grant with CAI.

Very good score there.

That might be enough to see you through to the head-to-head.

Then we go up to 42, where we see Caroline and Andy L,

and then up to 57, where we find Stuart and Paul, so Paul,

we need a really nice, low-scoring answer from you.

We're going to come back. Can the second players please take their places.

OK, we're going to put six more airport codes on the board, and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those one more time.

DXB, SYD, BGI, MEX, SIN, and JNB. There we are.

Remember, you are looking for the cities in which you would find these airports.

And, as always, you're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, Andy C, you're on 14,

thanks to Grant's brilliant answer in the first pass.

The high scorers on 57 are Paul and Stuart.

If you can score 42 or less, you are into the head-to-head.

I know the obvious ones,

but I think I'm going to go for maybe a wee punt.

I'm going to go for the bottom one and say Johannesburg.

JNB, Johannesburg. Is that a punt?

-Slightly. We'll see.

-We'll see. Here's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're through to the head-to-head.

Good luck. Is Johannesburg right? How many people said it?

It's right.

And you are through. Oh, look at that, 32.

32 takes your total up to 46.

Yeah, well played, gents. Safely through.

It's Africa's busiest airport,

and Johannesburg, the world's largest city that's not on a coastline, a river or a lake.

-Didn't know that.

-Yeah, there you go.

You can have it that for free.

Africa's busiest airport.

I bet they don't have that as their slogan.

Yeah, they do. That's their slogan.

BOTH: Africa's busiest airport.

Yeah. That's what they call it.

That, to me, says you're going to be waiting a long time in every queue.

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

'Africa's friendliest airport'.

I am there. I'm going to fly there.

'Africa's laxest airport'.

Now, then. Andy L. You are a well-travelled man.

I am.

I think you might be able to find a really good, low-scoring answer on this board.

I can see three fairly obvious ones.

Well, you're on 42.

The high scorers at the moment are Paul and Stuart on 57,

which means you want to be scoring 14 or less to avoid becoming the high scorers yourself.

Yeah, this is not going to be 14 or less. SIN, Singapore.

SIN, Singapore.

SIN, Singapore. Here's your red line. Quite low.

Let's see if Singapore's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Singapore for SIN.

It's right.

37.

37 takes your total up to 79.

-Richard.

-That makes the end of the round very interesting. Changi Airport in Singapore.

It's an extraordinary space-age airport,

capable of having 70 million passengers a year.

Wouldn't call it busy, though.

-No.

-Wouldn't call it a busy.

-'World's most efficient airport.'

Yeah.

'World's most spacey airport.'

-Yeah.

-I would say.

Yeah. Now, then. Paul, moment of truth.

The high scorers are now Andy and Caroline on 79. You're on 57.

You need to be scoring 21 or less. 21 or less.

-It could be difficult.

-Talk us through the board, if you like.

Well, the problem is I spent most of my holidays in caravans, so I don't travel to many airports.

I would think MEX is probably Mexico, Mexico City.

BGI might be Beijing

SYD probably Sydney.

DXB I've got no idea.

So I'll gamble with BGI and I'll say Beijing.

Your gamble is BGI, Beijing.

Yeah.

There is your red line.

Let's see if BGI is right, and if it is, how many people said BGI was Beijing.

Bad luck, Paul, bad luck.

Unfortunately, an incorrect answer, which scores you 100 points.

That takes your total up to 157.

Richard.

Yeah, sorry, Paul. You had to take a risk, though.

It's actually Grantley Adams International Airport

in Bridgetown, Barbados.

Would have scored one point, so would have been a terrific answer.

I'm guessing you can fit in SYD, Sydney, absolutely right.

That would have scored you 87 points, would have been too many.

MEX, you're absolutely right, was Mexico City, would have scored 77.

And DXB, do you know DXB? Anybody wants to have a go at DXB?

-Is it Boston?

-Not Boston.

Very well done at home anyone who said Dubai.

It's Dubai International Airport. Would have scored 13 points.

So, Bridgetown, very much the best answer on that board.

OK, well, thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score, Stuart and Paul.

Paul, you did an absolutely brilliant thing, though, there.

You grasped that you couldn't go for one of the ones you knew, and it was going to have to be a gamble.

It had to be a gamble, yeah.

Stuart and Paul, you played extremely well. Your tactics have been great.

I'm sorry that you had such a shocking board to contend with.

The second board was much harder.

It's been great having you here. We'll see you again,

-but meanwhile, thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

Things are about to get more exciting, as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations Grant and Andy C, Caroline and Andy L.

You are now only one round away from the final, and the chance

to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £2,250.

Clearly, only one pair can play for that money,

so to decide who it's going to be,

you're now going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions,

which basically means the first pair to win two questions will be playing

for the jackpot, and you are now allowed to confer.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, so, here comes your first question,

and it concerns people with the initials 'AA'.

'AA'.

Wow, people with the initials 'AA'.

Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of famous people with the initials 'AA'.

Can you tell us who they are, please?

Right, OK. Let's have a look at our five people with the initials 'AA',

and here they are.

Five famous 'AA's'. Now, then.

Grant and Andy C, because you played best throughout the show so far,

you get to go first.

OK, we think we know three, but since it's the first question,

we're going to have a bit of a guess.

Educated, but C is Alan Arkin.

C is Alan Arkin.

Alan Arkin, say Grant and Andy C. Now, then, Caroline and Andy L.

You can now talk us through all of those answers, if you like.

We also know three. A is Adam Ant,

E is Andre Agassi, and C is Alan Alda,

and C is what we're going to go for.

Alan Alda. OK, so, Grant and Andy C, you said Alan Arkin for C.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said Alan Arkin?

I think you might have known that even before we put it to the test,

because Caroline and Andy L have said Alan Alda for C.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many said Alan Alda.

It's right.

21.

But more importantly, it was correct, which means,

after one question, Caroline and Andy L are up 1-0. Richard.

Yeah, that was tough.

Alan Arkin, an actor of a very similar age

and generation to Alan Alda, but not Alan Alda, I'm afraid.

A, as you rightly say, is Adam Ant. 77, that would have scored you.

It goes to show you, people from the '80s,

we've said it time and again, their fame endures.

77 people out of 100.

B. Do you know B?

Anne Archer. She would have scored you three points.

A very good answer if you said that at home.

There's Alan Alda.

D is another American actress, Amy Adams,

who recently starred in the Muppet movie, amongst many other things.

She would have scored you six points.

I like Amy Adams. And E, absolutely right, is Andre Agassi,

who would have scored you 51, so Andre Agassi, less than Adam Ant.

Of course, they left out the three most popular celebrities

with the name 'AA', of all, of course.

Number three, Anthony Andrews, number two, Angry Anderson,

-who sung that song from Neighbours.

-Oh, yes.

And number one, we did this scientifically, with 100 people,

most popular British celebrity with the initials 'AA'?

-Do you remember from X Factor, a few years ago, Andy Abrahams. Do you remember him?

-Yeah.

By a mile.

Well, that's as you'd expect.

What we actually did, we went through,

we did the top 70 most popular celebrities with the initials 'AA'.

It was great.

I've got a whole list here, if you want to see them at some point.

Hold on a minute.

I'm just thinking of you.

Yeah, that's interesting you weren't on the list.

There is 70. There's a lot of people on there.

Yeah, that's a lot.

And the last person on the list is Al Adams, who is the mayor of Wadebridge.

Yeah, well, he does a lot of stuff down there.

Hold on, hold on. Number 62.

Oh, sorry that's Alexander Armstrong (the puppet).

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, here comes your second question.

Grant and Andy C, we need you to win this question to stay in the game.

Here it comes. It concerns...

Chemical elements. Richard.

We're going to show you five chemical elements now,

but we'll only show a little bit of each word.

The bits of each word is a palindrome, but that shouldn't worry you too much.

Just tell us what are these chemical elements, please. Fill in the gaps.

OK, thank you very much.

Let's reveal our five chemical elements, and we have got...

And I will read them all one more time.

So, there we are. Five chemical elements.

Now, this time, Caroline and Andy L, you go first.

This is your specialist subject.

Erm.

I'll go for the bottom one.

Mm-hmm.

And say Manganese.

Manganese, says Caroline. Manganese.

Now then, Grant and Andy C.

We were really stuck, there.

You're 1-0 down, by the way.

I know.

You have to equalise here.

The fifth one was actually the same answer we came up with.

But we're going to go for the third one. Iridium.

Iridium.

Iridium.

So, we have, from Caroline and Andy L, we have manganese,

and from Grant and Andy C, we have iridium.

Let's put them to the test.

Caroline and Andy said manganese. How many people said that? Is it right?

It is right.

22.

22. So, Grant and Andy C, you've gone for iridium.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said iridium.

It's right. OK, so 22 is what you have to beat.

Oh, 37.

37 for iridium, which means, after only two questions,

Caroline and Andy L are through to the final, 2-0. Richard.

Yeah, well played, Caroline and Andy. Funnily enough, fellas,

any of the other remaining answers would have won you the points.

-Any you would have had a go at?

-No.

-No.

Caroline, any of those others you would have had a go at?

The fourth one down I think is beryllium.

It's not, I'm afraid. The fourth one down is silicon.

Oh, right.

Silicon. Beryllium doesn't have ILI in it.

That would have scored you five, would have been good.

Top one, Xander, any clues?

-No idea.

-Top one is xenon.

That would have scored 18 points.

The best answer is the second one down.

It's one of the hardest and densest rare earth elements. It's lutetium.

Lutetium, and that would have scored one point,

so very well done to anybody who'd got that.

-Hardness and denseness often comes together, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-People who are hard are quite often dense.

-Quite often, yeah.

Thanks so much, Richard.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Grant and Andy C.

Are you regretting Alan Arkin?

As soon as Alan Alda was said, I realised it was wrong.

So, listen, Grant and Andy C, round one, last time.

This time, through to the heady delights of the head-to-head.

Anyway, you've done so well. You played fantastically well.

I'm so sorry we have to say goodbye to you, but you've been brilliant.

Superb contestants, Grant and Andy C.

APPLAUSE

But, for Caroline and Andy L, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Caroline and Andy.

You have fought off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

The rules are very simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any on the show today.

You only have to find one now,

and you will leave here with a jackpot of £2,250.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category, and you have a choice of five options.

Here they come.

Film adaptations, what's that about?

Well, it's obviously books adapted to film, I'm assuming. You can have a go at that, if you feel.

-Playwrights, playwrights.

-Playwrights, no.

-Could be Alan Bennett.

-No.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

Go mad and go film adaptations. See what it is.

-I want to do playwrights.

-I don't.

-Film adaptations.

-Yeah.

How did you used to resolve arguments when you were younger?

-We used to fight quite a lot, you'd be surprised to learn.

-Listen, you feel free.

Film adaptations we can both have a go, and both have a go at tennis.

Not tennis.

-Don't want tennis?

-No.

So, film adaptations.

-OK.

-Film adaptations.

Film adaptations, all right. Well, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We give 100 people 100 seconds to name as many films

based on Stephen King stories as they could.

Richard.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release prior

to January 2012 for which Stephen King is credited as writing

the original source material, please,

including anything he's written under the name Richard Bachman.

Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that £2,250

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, what do you know?

-None.

-Fantastic(!)

I was going to say Salem's Lot, but that is a TV film.

He didn't write Silence Of The Lambs, did he?

No, he didn't. He wrote Misery.

Did he write The Shining?

They're not going to be pointless.

What's the one with that lorry that runs people over?

Very old film. Erm.

He wrote that, and I think that's likely to be fairly obscure.

What else have we got?

Should have gone playwrights.

Oh, shut up.

Didn't he do The Rats, or something?

The Rats, no, that was James Herbert.

Was it?

-Stephen King.

-Any ideas?

-No.

So, what are we going to go for?

Go for The Shining.

Ten seconds left.

Misery.

What's the film? It's a car, not a lorry. It's a runaway car.

Do you know the film I mean?

-Herbie.

-No, no.

OK, that's your minute up.

OK, we were looking for films based on Stephen King stories.

I now need your three answers.

These are not going to be pointless, but we will go Misery.

Misery.

I'm not even sure if he wrote The Shining.

The Shining.

I don't think it's right. It's one word. Drive. It's not drive, but...

-Drive.

-Yes.

Now, of those three answers, which do you reckon is your best shot?

Misery is definitely right, I think.

OK, we'll put Misery third.

-Which shall we put first?

-Drive.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got Drive, The Shining, and Misery.

So, we were looking for films based on Stephen King stories.

Drive was your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember,

to win that jackpot of £2,250.

Let's see if Drive is right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Drive.

Bad luck.

Bad luck. OK, not a pointless answer.

So, you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Now, if one of these remaining two answers is right and is pointless,

and you won £2,250, Caroline, what would you do with that?

I don't like wearing glasses any more, and I've always toyed

with the idea of having my eyes done, so I'm thinking about that.

OK. Andy, what would you do?

I'd like to go back to Rome.

I've been to Rome a few times on my own.

I'd like to go back with a friend of mine.

Very good indeed. OK, well, best of luck.

Films based on Stephen King stories.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which is The Shining.

Again, this has to be right and pointless for you to win that jackpot of £2,250.

Let's see. Is it both of those things?

The Shining.

It's right.

See, I told you it was.

OK, your first answer, Drive, was incorrect,

but The Shining is correct, and it is still going down.

24.

APPLAUSE

24. OK, you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on Misery.

We were looking for films based on the Stephen King stories.

This, you said, was your best shot at a pointless answer.

OK, let's find out, for £2,250. Misery. Is it right?

How many people said it?

OK, another correct answer. Drive was an incorrect answer.

The Shining took us down to 24.

Now then, Misery, how far down is it going? Still going down. 15.

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find a pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,250,

which rolls over to the next show, but you've been brilliant contestants.

You've done so well,

with lots to be proud of in your performance today, and you do

get to take away our Pointless trophy, so very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, unlucky. Very well played, though.

Drive is a very recent film, the Ryan Gosling film,

based on a James Sallis novel.

-I think the film about the possessed car is Christine.

-Yes.

It would have scored you 12 points, though.

There's just so many films based on his work.

Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption, lots of wonderful films.

But let's take a look at the pointless answers.

These are ones that none of our hundred said and would have won you the money.

Children Of The Corn 2, the follow-up to Children Of The Corn.

Hearts In Atlantis, based on his short story Low Men in Yellow Coats,

Maximum Overdrive, which he wrote and directed.

It was nominated for a Golden Raspberry for worst director.

Riding The Bullet, Sleepwalkers, Tales From The Dark Side: The Movie,

with Julianne Moore, amongst others.

The Mangler, about a possessed mangler, The Night Flyer,

about a vampire murderer who flies on planes.

You've got to love Stephen King, don't you?

And The Rage: Carrie 2, also a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Well, we have to say goodbye to you, but it's been great having you.

-Thank you for playing.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

APPLAUSE

Well, unfortunately, Caroline and Andy didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over, which means on our next show we will be playing for £3,250.

-Join us to see if someone wins it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd