Episode 58 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless - the quiz show where the lowest scorers

are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

CHEERING

Now, welcome, Mave and Dan. You are our first pair on the show today.

How do you two know each other? Mave?

-Daniel's my grandson.

-Very good.

Now then, Dan, where have you come from?

We've come from Bournemouth, so South coast.

Bournemouth. What do you do, Dan?

I'm a language tutor.

I'm private, I go round and teach students,

like, extra-curricular French and Spanish.

So languages are going to be fantastic, obviously, for you. And Mave, what do you do?

Well, I'm retired now,

but I've done various jobs.

What have you done?

The last job I did was being nanny to our doctor's six children.

Wow! Six children? That's almost The Sound Of Music, isn't it?

Lovely, it was lovely.

And I've worked in an office, and I've worked in shops.

I've worked fruit-picking. All sorts.

Mave, what would you like to see come up today? What would be a great topic?

Well, '40s musicals!

-OK, just the '40s?

-'40s musi...

Oh, '40s, '50s musicals, words, the human body. Geography.

Geography. I mean, you've covered a lot. Fruit.

-The South coast.

-LAUGHTER

-I was only apples and pears!

-You'd be surprised.

I think both of those have come up before.

Perfect background for Pointless.

Anyway, best of luck to you Mave and Dan. It's great to have you here.

And we welcome back Stuart and Paul. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances, of course, to reach our final.

This is your second chance. Remind us how you know each other, Stuart.

We work together at a caravan dealership in Shrewsbury.

I do the motorhomes and touring caravans, Paul does the statics.

And Paul, what happened last time?

We crashed out in the second round.

Question about airports.

Oh, yes, the codes!

Since then, I've cancelled my holiday to Barbados this year.

-LAUGHTER

-Stuart, what are you hoping is going to come up today?

-Er, caravans and motorhomes would be nice.

-Yeah, they come up a lot.

Movies. Love, love movies.

Favourite kind of film?

Genre, crime, horror...

Particular favourite film?

Most of the Scorsese stuff, like Goodfellas, Casino,

that sort of thing.

Paul, what would you like to see come up today?

Also a bit of film, but music as well.

-Preferably not '40s music.

-OK.

Anything from then onwards would be good.

-So, '50s? Really?

-50...

-'70s, '80s, yeah.

-OK, good.

It's great to have you back on.

And Stuart and Paul, let's hope we see more of you this time.

And next, we welcome the Daves - Dave D and Dave R.

Now, how do you two know each other?

Since early school, about the age of four-ish, maybe.

That's fantastic. And Dave, where are you from?

-We're both from Wigan.

-From Wigan.

And what do you do there, Dave R?

Well, I work as a library assistant in nearby Bolton at the moment.

Good on literature? I mean, are you allowed...?

It's like asking someone in a chocolate factory if they can eat the sweets,

-but can you read the books?

-LAUGHTER

In your own time, yeah, I think. Yeah.

OK, Dave, what do you do? Dave D.

I'm an accountant.

-Always a conversation killer, that one.

-Not at all!

Maths is going to be good for you.

See how quickly I picked that up, ran with it?

When you're not accounting, Dave D, what do you like to get up to?

I like films, music, I do quite a bit of reading

and kind of do a bit of writing as well, when I can.

-What sort of things do you write?

-Bad horror.

Really? Bad horror? That's the best kind of horror.

-I know!

-Anyway, welcome to the show, the Daves. Great to have you here.

And finally, we welcome back Ian and Ann.

You were on the show last time.

Ian, remind us how you know each other.

-This is my mum.

-Wonderful.

And Ann, you brought us those lovely knitted dolls last time.

Thank you very, very much indeed for those.

Ann, what happened last time? Remind us.

-It was a European football question.

-Ah-h!

Man United! Scored you 80.

-Yes, they let me down, Manchester United.

-Ah, they'll do that.

What do you get up to in your spare time, Ian?

In my spare time... Well, I used to host a quiz.

-Do you want to come and do this?

-No, it's OK.

It was just at the local pub.

I had an assistant, but she wasn't pointless,

-cos I ended up marrying her.

-Aww!

-We're still together now.

-Wow!

-You hear a lot, don't you, about...

..people marrying their quiz show assistants.

LAUGHTER

I just think it's interesting.

I just think it's interesting.

I guess you form a bond, don't you?

-I guess you do.

-And you rely on each other, and there's trust.

-Yeah, yeah!

Of course, what with civil ceremonies and all that, it's not...

LAUGHTER Could happen more and more often.

Yeah, yeah.

RICHARD SIGHS

LAUGHTER

It's wonderful to have you back here, Ian and Ann.

Best of luck. We'll find out more about all of you as the show goes along.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He's soon to be appearing in Pointless The Musical.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-A lot of interest in Pointless The Musical!

-Yeah! I bet there would be.

You'd be good. I can't really sing. You've got a terrific voice.

Well, you're very kind.

HE SIGHS

LAUGHTER

Should be a cracking show today. We've got two returning pairs.

I quite wanted Ian and Ann to win last time,

because mother and son teams are always nice.

-Ann knitted us something which was lovely.

-Yeah.

But mother and son...

I don't care any more, because we've got grandmother and grandson! We've got Mave and Dan.

Wouldn't it be lovely if they won? No offence to anybody else!

No offence to Double Dave or anybody. It'd be lovely if Mave and Dan won.

Obviously, we can't make it happen.

Although Round One is Musicals of the '40s

and Round Two is Asking Directions to the Railway Station in Barcelona.

LAUGHTER

Very good. Thanks so much, Richard.

Our questions on Pointless are put to 100 people before the show.

We are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and have a chance of winning our jackpot

our players need to score as few points as they can.

What everyone's trying to do is to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000,

so today's jackpot starts off

at £3,250.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready. Let's play Pointless!

Now, in this first round each of you must give me one answer.

You cannot confer with your partner. The pair with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer, you will score the maximum of 100 points.

Do try and avoid those, if you possibly can.

Our first category today is...

Education.

Can you all decide on your pairs, who's going first and who's going second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people, 100 seconds, to name as many UK universities

in the Times Higher Education Top 400, as they could.

UK universities in the Times Higher Education Top 400, Richard.

We're looking for any UK university or higher education institute

that appeared in the Times Higher Education list

of the top 400 universities in the world. Very best of luck.

OK, thank you very much.

Mave and Dan, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going first.

Mave, is this a good category for you?

Well, I know a few but whether...

I'll try Warwick.

Warwick, says, Mave, let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said, Warwick.

It's right!

11, that's a great answer, Mave.

APPLAUSE

A great answer, lovely low score.

Warwick, well played, Mave, ranked 157th in the world.

Warwick, it's near Coventry.

Stuart?

Well I've driven past a few universities, that's as close as I ever got.

I think one of them I drove past would have been Exeter.

OK, Exeter, you are saying. Let's see how many people said, Exeter.

It is right.

11!

APPLAUSE

11, exactly the same as Warwick.

There we are, very well done, Stuart.

Well played, Stuart, Warwick was 157th on the list,

good news for Exeter, it's 156th on the list.

Wow!

Dave R, now remember we are looking for UK universities

that are in the Times Higher Education Top 400.

Oh, I'm not confident with this.

I'm going to say, Liverpool John Moores University.

That sounds very confident, Liverpool John Moores?

I know it's a university but it's whether...

Is it in the world's top 400? Exactly.

Liverpool John Moores,

is it right and if it is, how many people said Liverpool John Moores?

Well done, it's right!

Well done, Dave R.

And it's pointless!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's a pointless answer and adds £250 to today's jackpot.

It takes the total up to £3,500.

It scores you nothing.

Very well done, indeed, Dave R.

-It's a brilliant answer, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-Very well played.

The former Lady Liverpool Polytechnic,

named after Sir John Moores who founded the Littlewoods empire.

When you get over 200, they don't give exact scorings

but it became between 350th and 400th.

Oh, now then, Ian, what is the most obscure university

you can think of that is within the world's top 400 and is in the UK?

Well, not many.

We've had three good answers so it puts a bit of pressure on.

I'm going for one that's close to home, and I hope it's in the top 400

and I'll say, York.

York, let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

Yeah, it's right.

Wow!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That turns out to be a fantastic answer, Ian.

York scores you only 3.

I know, very well played, Ian. 121st on the list.

You know, all sorts of people watch this show in universities

-who'll be listening out for their rankings.

-Yeah.

-121st, that's the best so far.

-Yeah.

-Well done, York.

-Well done. Good going.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Dave R, what a fabulous answer

with the John Moores University in Liverpool,

scoring you nothing.

The double Dave looking very strong, indeed.

Then up to three where we find Ian and Ann.

Then up to 11 when we find Mave and Dan and Stuart and Paul.

Who would have thought 11 was our high score?

There we are, Dan and Paul, it's going to be between you

in the next pass to see who stays with us and who leaves us.

Very best of luck.

OK, can the second players take their places at the podium.

OK, so we are looking for UK universities in the Times Higher Education Top 400.

Now then, Ann, after Ian's brilliant answer of York, you are on 3.

The high scorers on 11 are Dan and Mave and Paul and Stuart,

which means a score of 7 or less

will mean you don't become the high scorers.

I'll say Newcastle.

Newcastle, says Ann. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line with Newcastle,

you're definitely through to the next round.

Let's see if Newcastle's right, and if it is, how may people said it.

Absolutely right.

Oh, very, well done, indeed.

APPLAUSE

That scores you 7, takes your total up to 10,

you are through to Round Two.

-Very well done, Newcastle.

-Well played, Ann, came 146th on the list.

It beats Exeter, Warwick and John Moores, but loses to York.

Kate Adie, Rowan Atkinson, and Bryan Ferry, all went there.

-All went to Newcastle?

-Yeah.

-That's right.

Now then, Dave D, Dave R scored nothing, a pointless answer.

Could you possibly hold your head up high

if you get anything more than a pointless answer?

-I'll answer that for you, no you can't!

-LAUGHTER

The high scorers on 11 are Dan and Mave, Paul and Stuart, you're on nothing.

If you scored 10 or less, you are through to the next round. Let's have a pointless answer, Dave.

The standard of the answers has been incredibly high

and I'm concerned I'm about to put an end to that particular trend.

I don't even know if there is a university in this place,

but I'm going to go for Bath.

OK, you're going for Bath, here is your red line,

there it is, nice and low.

If you get below that red line, you are definitely in the next round.

Bath, how many people said Bath, is it right?

It is right.

Very well done, you've done it, 6.

APPLAUSE

That is a great answer, Dave D.

6 for Bath takes your total up to 6.

Well played, Dave D, it's a tense round now for the remaining pairs.

It's ranked between 250th and 275th on the list.

Now then, Paul,

we are looking for UK universities in the Times Higher Education Top 400.

You're the joint high scorers.

You have no target score, other than to get as low as you possibly can.

Probably around pointless.

No pressure! Unfortunately, I'm quite a thick salesman

so I never went to university.

I'm going to have to take a bit of a guess and say, Aberystwyth.

Aberystwyth. OK, no red line for you, you've got to hope it goes down as far as it possibly can.

Aberystwyth, how many people said it, is it right?

It is right.

4!

APPLAUSE

4 for Aberystwyth, takes your total up to 15.

Very well played, Paul, it's a very good answer. Prince Charles spent a term at Aberystwyth.

-Did he?

-He did, yes.

Now, Dan, talk us through your answers. Think up some fun answers and when you've decided

which is the most obscure and which one you think has the best chance

of beating Paul's brilliant score of 4,

you then submit it.

OK, well, I did have Bath in my head and I also had Bristol

but I don't know...

-I think that might be a bit higher.

-Bath, 6, is too high a score?

Yeah, I think Bristol will be higher than that. I also have things like London School of Economics

and Brunel, but I'm not really sure about them.

But I think, yeah, I think I'm going to have to go with Brunel.

Brunel, we're looking for UK universities that are

in the Times Higher Education Top 400, Brunel.

There is your red line.

Very low, you have to score 3 or less.

Let's see if Brunel is right and see how many people said it.

It's right.

Is it going to make it down to the red line and below?

Yes, you've done it, 1!

Very, well done, indeed, Dan.

APPLAUSE

1 takes your total up to 12.

Wow!

What a round, very tough luck that anyone's gone out there, terrific answer, Dan.

Brunel, it's based in Uxbridge.

The closest you can get to going to Oxbridge without going to Cambridge and Oxford.

Had its origins in Acton Technical College

and became a university in 1966. Very good answer.

And, Dan, if you had said the LSE, if you'd gone with that instead of Brunel,

it would have scored you 7 points. It would have seen you knocked out.

You chose very, very wisely.

There's some pointless answers up here. We've already heard one but let's look at the rest of them.

Birkbeck, University of London, would have been pointless.

Dave gave us Liverpool John Moores University.

Queen Mary, University of London, that would have been pointless.

Royal Holloway, University of London, pointless.

University of Essex is pointless.

They've got an 18-hole frisbee golf course at the University of Essex.

-Have they?

-I've been there. That's not why it's pointless.

-It's quite a nice thing to have?

-Brilliant thing to have.

-Where is it, the University of Essex?

-Essex.

LAUGHTER

University of Hertfordshire, do you want to know where it is?

I think I know what you are going to say.

University of Kent was a pointless answer,

University of Stirling, and the highest one on the list of any of the pointless answers,

99th best in the world, University of Sussex was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those or if you go to any of those.

Let's take a look at the most popular answers, the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Durham University would've scored you 26 points.

University of Cambridge, 80 points, a big leap up there.

University of Oxford, beats Cambridge with 81 points.

If you are currently at university and haven't heard your university being mentioned

and you're wondering if it's on the list, look it up.

If you can't look it up, then it's not on the list.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of the first round,

the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid, it's Stuart and Paul.

Bad luck, but a high score of 15. That's your total, 15.

-You wouldn't think you would go out with 15.

-You wouldn't but then everybody scored fantastic.

We had some really good answers on that round.

Paul and Stuart, it's been great having you on the show.

Thank you, great contestants.

For the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

Now obviously there's only going to be room for two pairs in our head-to-head round

so one of the teams in front of me will be leaving us at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two is...

Literary characters.

Can you all decide, who's going to go first, who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

So our question concerns...

Titular female characters and their creators.

Titular female characters and their creators, Richard.

On each pass we'll give you the names of six works of fiction,

all named after one of their female characters.

Can you tell us the author of that work of fiction, please.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points. An incorrect answer will give you 100 points.

There will be 12 authors in all to have a go at at home, very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed.

We are looking for the authors who created these titular female characters.

As ever, Dan, you're trying to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

OK, here they come, our six titular female characters.

I'll just read them one more time.

There they are, Dan. There are your female titular characters.

I think I'm going to go with, Anna Karenina, Tolstoy.

Anna Karenina, says Dan, Tolstoy.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that answer.

It is right.

28.

APPLAUSE

I think that'll do, 28 for Tolstoy.

Well played, Dan, published in instalments between 1873 and 1877.

It's got a very famous first line which is,

"Happy families are all alike.

"Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

-Not true.

-No, no.

-But quotable.

-Yeah.

Dave D, so remember we are looking for the authors who created these female heroines.

There's one that I think I know

and I suspect it's the highest scoring answer, sadly.

But, better than 100, unless it's wrong.

I'm going for Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, written by Beatrix Potter.

Beatrix Potter, says Dave D. Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, is that right, how many people knew that answer?

It's absolutely right.

39.

APPLAUSE

That's a lot better than 100.

Yes, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle who's a hedgehog and washerwoman, who lives in the Lake District.

Now then, Ann, you are the last person to have this board.

You can talk us through it.

I should be able to but I just can't think of any, the moment.

I'll just have to go for Madame Bovary, Charles Dickens.

Madame Bovary, Charles Dickens, says Ann.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Bad luck.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer which means you score 100 points.

I'm sorry. Richard.

Sorry, Ann, it the French author, Gustave Flaubert.

It would have scored you six points.

Let's go through the rest of the board, you'll be very good, I suspect.

-Moll Flanders?

-It's either Jonathan Swift or Daniel Defoe.

It is either of them.

LAUGHTER

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for, for...

Jonathan Swift.

Oh, that's a shame.

It's Daniel Defoe.

Sorry, it would have scored you 9 points.

Went on to play centre forward for Tottenham, as well.

Mrs Dalloway?

That I don't know.

Virginia Woolf, who went on to star in Gladiators.

That would've scored you 3 points.

And, Daisy Miller?

Is Henry James.

It's the best answer and is on the board and would have scored 2.

That's a tough board. I don't want to upset anyone, but I think the next board's even tougher

but very well done if you got all six of those. That's terrific.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Let's take a look at the scores as we're halfway through the round.

Dan and Mave, the lowest scorers of the pass on 28,

very well done, indeed.

Then up to 39 where we find double Dave

and then I'm afraid a long way to 100 where we find Anne and Ian.

Ian, you know what we need from you on the next pass.

A miracle!

You will have first dibs on the board, though.

Let's hope that serves you well. We're coming back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more titular female characters on the board and here they come.

I'll read them one last time.

Lorna Doone, Shirley Valentine, Tilly Trotter,

Major Barbara, Little Dorrit and Pippi Longstocking.

Remember, we are looking for the authors

who created these titular female characters

and you're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now then, Ian, the high scorers on 100.

We need a miracle from you here.

Do you know any of those obscurer sounding titular females?

Not 100%, really. It was the same on the other board as well.

I shall just have to go for the one that I might know,

Little Dorrit...

No, I don't even know if it's right...

Charles Dickens.

Little Dorrit, Charles Dickens, says Ian.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it?

You're the high scorers so there's no red line.

Absolutely right.

34.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad answer. 34 takes your total up to 134. Richard?

Still in with a chance, Ian, with that score.

Published in 19 instalments between 1855 and 1857.

Now then, Dave R, library assistant.

It's your turn.

-How does that board look to you?

-Not good.

There's one I think I can guess at but it could be way off,

it could be right.

Erm, so I'll say Lorna Doone, George Eliot?

There's your red line, it's lovely and high. Lorna Doone, George Eliot,

how many people said it?

No!

Bad luck, Dave R.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer which takes your total

up to an unassailable 139,

having scored your 100 points. Richard...

It does sound like a George Eliot novel, doesn't it? You wouldn't be surprised,

but not one of hers, I'm afraid.

Now then, Mave, I've got great news for you.

You're in the head-to-head, not now...

that's coming. You are through to the head-to-head even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake the Daves high score of 139.

Remember we are looking for the authors who created these female heroines.

Well I know two of them, Tilly Trotter,

Catherine Cookson, I think.

Lorna Doone, Blackmore...

I'm not sure of the initials of him.

So I'll say Tilly Trotter, Catherine Cookson.

Tilly Trotter, Catherine Cookson, some nice alliterations there.

Tilly Trotter, Catherine Cookson says Mave, is it right?

It is right.

Oh, very well done, indeed, Mave. 12.

APPLAUSE

The lowest score of the round, I might add,

takes your total up to 40. Very well done indeed, Richard.

Well played, Mave, the first of a trilogy published in 1980

followed by Tilly Trotter Wed and Tilly Trotter Widowed.

-The Tilly Trotter trilogy?

-The Tilly Trotter trilogy.

-It's terrific.

-Yeah, I'll say!

You're right about Blackmore as well. It's RD Blackmore who wrote Lorna Doone.

Would have scored you 11 points.

-Major Barbara?

-It's George Bernard Shaw.

Absolutely right and would've scored you 8 points.

-Pippi Longstocking?

-I don't know that.

Astrid Lindgren would've scored you 2 points

-and Shirley Valentine, the best answer on the board.

-Willy Russell.

Willy Russell, absolutely right and would have scored you 1 point.

Very, very well played.

Very well done if anyone got all 12 of those, that's very impressive.

-That was hard, wasn't it?

-Very hard, indeed.

-Shall we shake out a bit.

-I think we might.

OK...

-Happy?

-A little bit more, a little bit more. That's got it.

-You've got it.

-I've got Moll Flanders to work out.

Daniel Defoe, Jonathan Swift!

Thanks very much, Richard, And, the losing pair with highest score is double Dave.

Double Dave, but you did the right thing,

you did the right thing and went for a nice obscure one that you thought.

-Blackmore, how much was that?

-11 points, RD Blackmore would have scored.

You see 11, you'd have been absolutely plainly through.

We have to say goodbye to you. The great news is we'll see you again next time

and let's hope we see you do much better then.

Sorry to say goodbye. Dave R, Dave D, great contestants, thanks for playing.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things are getting more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Mave and Dan, Ian and Ann,

you are now only one round away from the final and a chance

to play for a jackpot which currently stands at £3,500.

AUDIENCE: Whoo!

Only one pair can play for that money and to decide which pair it's going to be,

you're going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

Basically, the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot

and the great news is you are now allowed to confer.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here is your first question and it concerns...

US tourist attractions.

US tourist attractions, Richard?

We're going to show you five pictures of famous US tourist attractions

You just have to tell us in which state is that attraction?

Very, very best of luck.

Right, thanks Richard,

let's reveal our five US tourist attractions and here they come.

OK, so there are the five US tourist attractions.

Mave and Dan, you go first.

You want to identify the state in which you would find the one

that you think is the one the fewest of our 100 people would have known.

-THEY WHISPER

-Do you have any idea?

-Dakota's D, isn't it?

-I don't know.

-North Dakota.

-North or South?

-North Dakota.

We think D is North Dakota.

D North Dakota say Mave and Dan.

North Dakota.

Ian and Ann, you can now talk out loud.

Take us through the rest of the board, if you like.

-You can also go for D as well if...

-No, it's right, that one.

We knew that one. Hollywood, that would be very high.

Is that the Empire State Building, C?

Is that New York, then? We don't really know any, to be honest.

-Let's say New York.

-We'll go for C...

and say New York.

You're going to say C, New York.

Mave and Dan have said North Dakota for D. D, North Dakota.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it North Dakota.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Oooh.

It's the other one.

Ian and Ann, you have said New York for C.

C, New York. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It only has to be right for you to win this question.

Yup, of course it's right!

48.

APPLAUSE

But most importantly, it was right. Which means after one question,

Ian and Ann, you are up, 1-0. Richard.

Yes, that's a point you didn't think you'd get.

It's actually the Chrysler Building in New York City, New York State.

It's not North Dakota, I'm afraid, Mount Rushmore, it's in South Dakota.

Most famously in North By North West, the film,

but in South Dakota. That would have scored you 5 points,

would have been a very good answer as well.

-A, do you know A?

-Florida.

It is Florida. Seven Mile Bridge and Pigeon Key.

It's in Licence To Kill, the Bond film, that.

That would have scored you 21 points.

-B?

-No idea.

-Everyone will have heard of it,

-but perhaps not recognised it. That's the Alamo.

-Ah.

It's the Alamo in Texas.

That would have scored you 4 points,

so that would have been a terrific answer.

And the only one left there, the Hollywood sign

which obviously is in California. Los Angeles, California.

-But would only have scored you 43 points, funnily enough.

-Wow.

-Yep.

OK. Well, thanks very much, Richard.

Here comes your second question, Mave and Dan.

We need you to win this question if you want to stay in the game.

Our second question concerns...

gold.

-Gold. Richard.

-We're going to give you five clues

to people, places and things to do with gold. Can you give us

the most obscure answer, please?

OK. Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five clues.

And here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

OK. So there are our five clues to facts about gold.

Now, Ian and Ann, you go first this time.

OK. If we were second,

we may have guessed at one that we weren't sure of.

-But will go for carats for the unit of purity for gold alloys.

-OK.

The carat, the unit of purity for gold alloys, the carat,

say Ian and Ann.

Now then, Mave and Dan, the board is yours.

You can talk us through it, if you like.

The king was King Midas and the country was Canada, wasn't it?

-For the gold rush.

-Yes.

-Chemical symbol could be something like...

-H.

He, that's what I was thinking.

-I'm thinking Midas would be the best one.

-Do you think? Yeah.

-We'll go King Midas.

-King Midas.

-You're going to go King Midas. OK.

So, we have from Ian and Ann,

we have the carat, the unit of purity for gold alloys.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said carat.

It's right.

Ooh. 71.

APPLAUSE

71 for the carat. Now then, Mave and Dan, you have to win this point.

You have to be right and you have to score lower than 71.

You have said King Midas was the king in Greek mythology

whose touch turned things to gold. Midas.

Is it right? How many people said that?

OK. It's right. Will it...

AUDIENCE GROANS

83!

APPLAUSE

83. Which means after only two questions, Ian and Ann,

you are through to the final,

2-0. Well done. Richard.

Do you remember earlier, Dan, when you had the choice

between Brunel and the LSE

and you chose very, very wisely in that first round.

This is about as spectacularly unwisely

as you choose because your grandmother knew

the answer to the Klondike

which was Canada

and rather than scoring 83 that would have scored you...

13 points.

Would have been a much, much better answer and scored you the point.

The chemical symbol is...

-Au.

-Au.

That would have scored you 36 points and would also have won the point.

Wrote "Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold."

If you don't know it, you could probably guess.

-Shakespeare.

-Shakespeare. Absolutely right.

Would have scored you 11 points.

Very, very bad luck, guys. You played very well throughout. Tough luck.

Thank you very much, Richard. So the losing pair

at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid it's Mave and Dan.

Bad luck there. Why didn't you go with Canada?!

-I don't know.

-It was my decision. I'm sorry. It was my decision.

-I thought Midas might be...

-I did as well though.

-I thought it was going to be quite low.

-Oh dear.

Anyway, the good news is we get to see you again. Had you gone through, that would have been it.

But we get you for a whole new show which will be wonderful.

Thanks so much for playing, Mave and Dan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Ian and Ann, it's now time for our pointless final.

Congratulations, Ian and Ann.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

Now, the rules are very simple.

To win the money, all you have to do is to find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today.

You only have to find one more

and you will go home with that £3,500 jackpot.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category

-from these five options.

-They are...

-Snooker?

-No.

-British Actors?

Won't be world champions because they've had that.

-I think British Actors.

-Right, I'll go with you.

We're going to go for British Actors.

Hopefully, an obscure film that I know will have an actor in.

OK. Very good. Let's find out what the question is on British Actors.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Anthony Hopkins films as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any feature film given a cinema release

for which Anthony Hopkins has received an acting credit

or a voice credit prior to the beginning of 2012.

As always, no TV films, short films or documentaries

or films where he made an uncredited appearance

such as Mission impossible II.

Any Anthony Hopkins films, please. Very best of luck.

Thanks, Richard. You now have up to one minute to come up with

three answers. All you need to win that £3,500

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right. It's not one of the obscure films I don't know.

-If I had a photograph of him...

-His voice... The Welsh...

-Which one?

He played Hannibal Lecter.

-That wasn't Anthony Hopkins, was it?

-Yep.

Erm...

But we can't go for The Silence Of The Lambs cos that's pretty obvious.

I don't know what the follow-up's called. Silence Of the Lambs II?!

He must have been in some Welsh films.

How Green Was My Valley. That's going back years, isn't it?

-He's quite old, isn't he?!

-What else was he in?

Erm...

I can't help you, sorry.

Who did he used to star in films with?

No big actresses?

I really don't know.

-Erm...

-What about the other Welsh fella? Was he with him?

-Richard Burton, did he do any with Richard Burton?

-Possibly. Possibly.

-Yes, he probably will do.

-Ten seconds left.

-Was he in any war films?

-Richard Burton...

Any war films that he was in? We'll just say a war film.

I only know him from The Silence Of The Lambs, really.

I know who you mean now.

-OK. That is your time up, I'm afraid.

-It's up to you.

-Right. We haven't done very well, I don't think.

-Oh dear.

It's a tough category, this, isn't it? OK.

We were looking for Anthony Hopkins's films.

I now need your three answers.

We'll say Hannibal.

-Hannibal.

-Yes.

Erm... We'll say How Green Was My Valley just cos it's a Welsh film.

How Green Was My Valley.

That may have been when he was about two, I believe.

Erm, and a third film...

Erm...

Bridge Over The River Kwai.

Bridge Over The River Kwai.

Of those three, which do you think

is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-We'll say Hannibal cos it's the only one I think he was in.

-OK. We'll put Hannibal last.

-LAUGHTER

-And your least likely?

Green Grass.

The...

-How Green Was My Valley.

-I think that was 1940-something.

I'm thinking Tom Jones.

-We'll pop them up on the board in that order.

-Oh dear.

Here are the answers you gave.

How Green Was My Valley,

Bridge Over The River Kwai

and Hannibal.

There are the three answers.

OK. We were looking for Anthony Hopkins films.

Your first answer was How Green Was My Valley.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless answer

to win that jackpot of £3,500. This was your least confident shot

at a pointless answer. Let's see if it's right though and if it is,

let's see how many people said How Green Was My Valley.

No!

OK. You weren't expecting that to be right, I think.

That was a bit of a long shot. Unfortunately, an incorrect answer,

not a pointless answer. Only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Bridge Over The River Kwai.

This has to be pointless. So, for £3,500,

how many people said, Bridge Over The River Kwai?

Bad luck. Also an incorrect answer.

Not, therefore, pointless which means you only have

one more chance to win today's jackpot. Now, this last answer...

-..you know is right.

-No.

-OK.

-I'm having doubts.

-You're having your doubts about the last one.

We were looking for Anthony Hopkins's films.

Your third and final answer was Hannibal.

This was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

To win the jackpot of £3,500

it has to be right and it has to be pointless.

Hannibal, is it pointless?

Oooh, that's more like it. It's right. Look at that.

So, How Green Was My Valley was an incorrect answer.

Bridge Over The River Kwai was an incorrect answer.

Your third and final answer, Hannibal...

29.

APPLAUSE

Bad luck. I'm afraid you didn't manage

to find that all-important pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500

which will roll over onto the next show.

But you have been brilliant contestants on both shows

you've played and you do take home our pointless trophy so well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hannibal, unlucky. It's in the same series of films, as you say,

as Silence Of The Lambs, but Silence Of The Lambs

would have scored 74 points. Red Dragon, another of those,

would have scored you 9.

He's not in The Bridge On The River Kwai

but he was in A Bridge Too Far, perhaps that's the one you were thinking of.

That was a pointless answer so well done if you said that at home.

-Have you got an answer?

-I've got one.

-OK.

-You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger.

-The Woody Allen film from 2010?

-Yes.

-It's very recent.

-Yes.

-It's a pointless answer.

-Yes!

APPLAUSE

Very well done. Very well done.

Let's have a look at some other pointless answers as well.

There's some big names on this list.

Beowulf, he was the voice of King Hrothgar.

Bobby about the assassination of Bobby Kennedy.

Chaplin, he plays Chaplin's fictional biographer

alongside Robert Downey Jr.

That would have won you the money.

He plays Claudius in the 1969 version of Hamlet.

Nixon, he was nominated for an Oscar for Richard Nixon.

The Human Stain with Nicole Kidman.

The Road To Wellville where he plays Dr Kellogg,

the man behind the Kellogg's cereals.

Titus, he plays Titus Andronicus.

And there's You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger,

the Woody Allen film. Very well played.

Unlucky. You played well throughout.

Very well done if you got any of those pointless answers at home.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you.

But it's been brilliant having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Great contestants.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, Ian and Ann didn't win our jackpot today

so it rolls over which means on the next show

we will be playing for £4,500.

CHEERING

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

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