Episode 27 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And we start by welcoming back Sally and Jane.

You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the final.

This is your second chance.

Remind us, Sally, how you know each other.

We're mother and daughter.

Mother and daughter. Jane, what happened last time?

It was a disaster! Erm...

We got 200. It was a question on World Cup finals against England.

It didn't go brilliantly, did it? No.

Well, put that behind us. What are you hoping is going to come up?

-I'm hoping we might get a bit of television today.

-Television.

Yeah, maybe films.

OK, any particular kind of telly you like to watch?

I quite like sitcoms and things.

Jane, what would you like to see?

Er, films, yeah.

More animated stuff, maybe. I like Disney and Pixar and things.

Excellent.

OK, well, Sally, Jane, you made it to the first round last time.

I think this time we're expecting much better from you.

I think head-to-head. That's my prediction.

I don't know why I say that.

Particularly looking at the first question.

Well, warm welcome back to the show.

Next, we welcome Malcolm and John.

How do you two know each other, Malcolm?

We work with each other. Work colleagues.

Work colleagues. And where is that, John?

It's in Newcastle at the Department of Work and Pensions.

Right you are.

What you like to get up to in your spare time, John?

I like to leave work and travel,

and walk and cycle, and get out and about.

Very good indeed. Out in Northumberland, then?

Yeah, I'm in the west of Newcastle,

so we can walk out of our garden into the woods

and keep walking down to the river.

-The North Tyne you're walking to?

-Yeah.

-Beautiful!

Absolutely beautiful. Lovely. Malcolm, how about you?

What do you like to get up to?

Rugby. Rugby, mainly.

-Still playing. Still spectating.

-Where do you play?

Ponteland. Ponteland Rugby Club.

Admittedly, the old men team, but still playing.

Anyway, well, lovely to have you on the show.

Next, we welcome Luke and Ben.

Now, how do you two know each other?

We met at a dinner party, but it wasn't really that grown-up.

It ended up in a wine-fuelled mess.

Hang on. Don't all dinner parties?

-Even grown-up ones?

-I don't know.

We were thinking it was probably going to be quite classy affair.

-And...no.

-Ah, it was a wine-fuelled mess.

What do you do, Luke?

I sell kitchens. But I like to call myself the Dream Maker.

If you are dreaming about kitchens, that is.

-Then I will sort that dream out.

-OK, you can sort out

-whatever my kitchen dream is?

-Yes.

-Wow!

-What is your kitchen dream, Alexander?

Do you know what, I was just trying to think what my kitchen dream was.

Oh, well, it's...

-Probably a marble top, right?

-You can sort it, can't you, mate?

-Amazing!

-There's a man over there making my dreams before I've even had them!

-The Dream Maker!

-It's great to have the Dream Maker on the show!

We've never had a Dream Maker.

Could you call him that for the rest of the show? Could we get his badge changed?

Listen, in YOUR dreams, it says, the Dream Maker.

We're going to make that dream come true, Luke.

-The Dream Team.

-The Dream Team. Ooh!

Big expectations there, if you're going to call us the Dream Team!

All right, we'll go with the Dream Maker and Ben.

All right! I'm cool with that!

Luke, Ben, it's lovely to have you here. Very, very best of luck.

And finally, we welcome back Gemma and Steve

who were also on the show last time.

Gemma, remind us how you two know each other.

We're a couple.

And Steve, what happened last time?

Er, it's American Presidents and their running mates.

You just had a high score early on. Everyone else scored really low.

-My fault.

-No, it wasn't!

There's no such thing as faults, Gemma, in this game.

But, yeah, it was your fault!

Yeah, I was waiting for that!

Now then, Steve, we discovered last time

that you work for an aircraft manufacturer.

-What did you do before that?

-I was in the RAF for 23 years.

It ended up being in the Red Arrows for the last six years.

-AUDIENCE OOHS

-Yeah!

-Thought I'd get that one in!

-Just was in the Red Arrows for six years!

-Yeah.

-Wow!

-I used to sit in the back seat.

-Wow!

But that must be quite scary, just looking out the window

as a Red Arrow and seeing another Red Arrow

travelling is fast as you, but only about that far away!

The first time it happened, I did scream a lot.

-The pilot in the front said, "Shut up!"

-Wow!

Now then, Gemma, what are you hoping is going to come up today?

Erm, film or books.

-Harry Potter, anything like that.

-Right you are.

Great to have you back on the show.

You made it to round two last time. We should see you

in the head-to-head this time. At least. Very, very best of luck.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

I'll just give him a chance to put all his sweets away.

And...yep, there they are.

He's my pointless friend. He's Richard.

Hiya!

APPLAUSE Hello! Hiya!

Afternoon.

Top of the afternoon to you.

I think our first two questions today are rather good. Very different.

Both very different skill sets.

But, I think, both excellent questions.

-Should be a cracking show all round, I think.

-Good stuff.

Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

To get through to our final round

and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

you need to find the obscure answers those 100 people couldn't get.

The fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points you score.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £6,250.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated,

so try and make sure that's not you.

OK, our first category today is...

Pop Music.

Can you decide who's going to go first,

who's going to go second. Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Musical Duos.

Musical Duos. Richard?

On each pass, were going to show you seven pairs of names

that all make up famous musical duos. We need you to name the duo.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

There's a few obscure ones in here.

But an incorrect answer will score you 100 points.

There's going to be 14 pairs of names in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Sally and Jane, you all drew lots before the show,

and today, you're going first.

So we are looking for the famous musical duos

of which these pairs of musicians were members.

And we have got...

I'll read those all one last time...

There we are. Seven pairs of musicians.

-Sally, what do you make of that board?

-It's not bad.

I know a few of those, I think.

Erm, I think I'm going to go for

Curt Smith and Roland Orzabal

and say Tears for Fears.

Tears for Fears, says Sally, for Curt Smith and Roland Orzabal.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right.

Good answer. Look at that, Sally, it's gone down to 12.

APPLAUSE

That's how we do it! Nice, low score, there, Sally!

-Very, well done. Richard?

-Yeah, well played, Sally.

That's a better category for you, isn't it?

Yeah, Tears for Fears, perhaps best known

for Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Mad World, Shout.

-Absolutely huge band for many years.

-Very good indeed.

Now then, John.

There's probably a couple.

And there's a shoe-in, and there's a toughie.

I'll go for the toughie.

Well done you, John!

And I hope it's right.

Marc Almond and David Ball, Soft Cell.

Soft Cell, says John, for Marc Almond and David Ball.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people knew it.

Very well done. It's right.

18.

-APPLAUSE

-Not bad at all. 18, John.

Similar era to Tears for Fears, Soft Cell.

Marc Almond the singer, of course.

David Ball, the keyboard player.

Tainted Love, their biggest hit. Bedsitter, Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.

-Dream Maker, how's that board looking to you?

-Not that good.

-No!

-A bit of fear.

-No! Nightmare!

-But there's one there.

-OK.

-George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, Wham!

George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, Wham! says Luke.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-It's the only one I knew!

-74.

26 people didn't know that answer.

It's not terrible, Luke. 74. Richard?

Pretty big score, though. They were originally in a band

when they were at school called The Executive.

I would have said that was a better name.

-The Executive?

-Yeah.

-Wham! is quite good.

-Wham, exclamation mark.

-For pop band. Not too bad.

Andrew Ridgeley's down your way now, I think, in Cornwall, isn't he?

-He is, yeah.

-He does a lot of surfing.

-There's a guy who's worked out how to be happy in life.

-Yeah!

He made millions upon millions in his 20s,

and spent the rest of his life surfing down in Cornwall with his wife.

Might be looking for a kitchen...

I was just thinking, yeah! Wow!

He's got... He could probably get one of those taps

that gives you boiling water, he's got that much money.

Whoa! Wow! He did well in the '80s, didn't he?

How many taps with boiling water do you fit a year, Luke?

-Me personally?

-Yeah!

Ooh...none.

-LAUGHTER

-Anyway, what were we doing here?

Talking about how Andrew Ridgeley has got it made.

Pointless, that's what we're doing!

Steve, you're the last to have this board,

so you can take us through it and fill in all the gaps.

I only know one definitely.

And that's Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke,

and that's Yazoo.

Yazoo. Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people knew that.

-29.

-APPLAUSE

29 for Yazoo.

Well played, Steve. Another group

whose heyday was the '80s. Formed in 1981.

Do you know any of these?

Peter Cox and Richard Drummie?

They had big hits with We Close Our Eyes and King of Wishful Thinking.

-Go West!

-Go West, absolutely right.

Would have scored you 6.

-Tom Rowlands and Ed Simons?

-Is The Chemical Brothers.

Yeah, contemporary one. Would have scored you 4 points.

What do you reckon about Paul Tucker and Tunde Baiyewu?

Lighthouse Family.

Absolutely right. Would have scored 1 point.

Very well done if you said that at home. That's the best answer on the board.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

The best score of the pass so far,

well, Sally and Jane!

Making up for lost time here. 12.

Lovely low score there from you, Sally.

Then we go up to 18, where we find John and Malcolm.

Up to 29, where we find Steve and Gemma, and then, whoa!

Up to Dream Maker and Ben on 74.

So, Ben, yeah, that was a high score there. We need a very low score

-from you in the next pass.

-Yeah, the pressure's on.

Otherwise it'll be bye-bye, until we next see you.

Best of luck with that, Ben. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more

pairs of musicians on the board, and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time...

There we are. Remember, we are looking for the duos

these musicians were members of,

and you're trying to find the ones you think the fewest people knew.

Gemma, you're on 29.

The high scorers are Ben and Luke on 74.

If you can score 44 or less, you are through to round two.

-What do you make of this board, Gemma?

-Erm, I know one, I think.

And I might know another.

Erm, I'm going to try and risk it,

and I'm going to say Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova for Tatu.

-Tatu.

-Yeah.

Tatu, says Gemma. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Tatu,

you are through to round two.

Very best of luck with that. Tatu.

Let's see if it's right, and how many people said it.

It's right.

And you've done it. You're through.

Wow! It's pointless!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Very, very well done indeed, Gemma!

A pointless answer there. It adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £6,500.

It scores you nothing,

it leaves your total at 29. Very well done indeed!

Yeah, terrific answer, Gemma. Very well played.

They had a number one in 2003 with All The Things She Said,

and then went on to represent Russia

in the Eurovision Song Contest as well,

-where they came third.

-Wow!

Very, very, very good risk to take.

-Now then, Ben, you remember what we require from you?

-Yeah.

-A good answer.

-A very, very low score. The Dream Maker's left you...

-A bit of a hospital pass!

-Yeah, bit of a hill to climb there.

74 points. You are the high scorers by a margin.

It's a reasonably tough board,

but there's one I know that I think is quite good.

-Is it a low score?

-I hope so.

David Van Day and Thereza Bazar, Dollar.

David Van Day, Thereza Bazar, Dollar.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

There's no red line because you are the high scorers.

Absolutely right.

-27.

-APPLAUSE

27 for Dollar,

takes your total up to 101, Ben.

That is a pretty big score, isn't it?

Dollar score more than Tears for Fears or Soft Cell.

They sold over 10 million records.

-No!

-Yep. Isn't that amazing?

-Wow!

-Mirror, Mirror was their biggest hit.

Oh, yeah. Mirror, Mirror. That's right. 10 million?!

Yeah!

-Quite something.

-10 million!

-Yeah!

Thereza Bazar.

-Good name, isn't it?

-Yeah!

David Van Day, less good.

LAUGHTER

He was just David Day, presumably? And then he...

Er, no, he was... Yeah, he was, yeah!

LAUGHTER

Now then, Malcolm, the high scorers on 101 are Ben and Luke.

You are on 18.

So if you can score 82 or less, you're in round two.

There's one I know,

and there's one that would be a gamble.

I think I'll play safe.

Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart, Eurythmics.

Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart, Eurythmics. Here is your red line.

Nice and high. If you get below that line with Eurythmics,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said Eurythmics.

Absolutely right. And you are through. Very well done.

44. Superb. Takes your total up to 62.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Malcolm.

There's a band who sold considerably more than 10 million records.

They were both in the band The Tourists, as well,

Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox, before they formed Eurythmics.

Now then, Jane.

You're on 12, the high scorers are still Ben and Luke on 101.

If you can score 88 or less with your answer,

you are through to the next round.

However, what do you make of what's left of the board?

I don't know any! I'm going to have to make a guess!

Oh! Ben and Luke!

Dream Maker!

OK, well, talk us through your thinking.

I'll have to make a complete guess.

Pet Shop Boys are a duo,

and I don't know their names, but I'm going to guess,

and say Jimmy Sommerville and Richard Coles.

Jimmy Sommerville and Richard Coles, Pet Shop Boys, you are saying.

-What are you thinking, Sally?

-SHE LAUGHS

Never mind what I'm thinking!

Discretion the better part of valour, eh?

Now then, let's see if it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Pet Shop Boys for Jimmy Sommerville and Richard Coles.

Ooh, bad luck, Jane! I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

I'm sorry to say that takes your total up to an unbeatable 112.

Yes, sorry Jane. The logic is right.

The Pet Shop Boys as you say, a duo. Now, Richard Coles is now a vicar.

The Rev Richard Coles in Northamptonshire,

and a lovely fellow. But, with due respect,

he wishes he was in the Pet Shop Boys!

-Imagine the money he'd have!

-Yeah!

-They've sold over 100 million records.

That would swell the stipend, wouldn't it?

But they were actually in The Communards.

Don't Leave Me This Way was their huge number one hit.

Had many other hits as well.

The Communards would have scored 14 points.

Very well done if you said that.

Pet Shop Boys are Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

Siobhan Fahey and Marcella Detroit?

-Shakespeare's Sister.

-Absolutely right.

Had a big number one with Stay. 16 points.

Marie Fredriksson and Per Gessle?

-Roxette?

-It is Roxette, yeah!

4 points, that would have scored you.

Their greatest hits album was All Killer, No Filler.

They don't muck about, do they, Roxette?

-And Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield?

-They're one of the...

it's either Righteous Brothers or Isley Brothers.

What are you going to go for?

Righteous Brothers.

Is the correct answer, very well done. 7 points.

-The right answer!

-APPLAUSE

So the best answer on that board was Tatu.

So very well done if you said that at home.

At the end of round one, the losing pair with the highest score, I'm sorry to say,

once again, Jane and Sally. Oh, and you started off so well!

Oh, I thought you were stayers!

Jane, Sally, I'm so sorry we have to say goodbye so soon.

It's been lovely having you on the show, albeit briefly.

-Thanks for playing. Jane and Sally.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

So, four pairs become three pairs,

and at the end of this round,

one of the pairs in front of me now will be leaving us.

Anyway, round two, anything can happen. Our category for round two is...

..Children's Books.

Children's Books.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many friends of Thomas the Tank Engine as they could.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah, friends of Thomas!

-Everyone can play along with that one!

-Yeah!

We're looking for any named character who appears in the title

of any of the 65 books that comprise the My Thomas Story Library.

That's up to the beginning of May 2012. So any of Thomas the Tank Engine's friends

who appear in the title of one of those 65 books, please.

We won't accept Thomas,

and we also won't accept the Troublesome Trucks.

Oh, I'm glad!

-I am SO glad!

-I know, I know.

Those trucks!

Troublesome? That's not the half of it!

Now then, Malcolm, a nice, obscure friend of Thomas.

-Never read any of these.

-Right.

But I think I've got one.

-Fat Controller.

-OK, the Fat Controller,

says Malcolm. The Fat Controller.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said the Fat Controller.

It's right.

62.

-APPLAUSE

-Fat Controller, big score.

Yes, in America, they refer to him as Sir Toppham Hat.

Now then, Dream Maker.

THEY LAUGH

Dream Maker, what do you make of this?

-I'm going to opt for James.

-James.

James, says Dream Maker. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said James.

Absolutely right.

Oh, look at that!

-There we go, 15.

-APPLAUSE

15 for James.

Yeah, the number five engine.

A fine scarlet colour.

I remember him being caught in a hurricane.

-Very, very, very difficult episode.

-Yeah.

-It was fine in the end.

-Oh, he muddled through!

Oh, yeah, but it was touch and go for a while.

HE SIGHS LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Steve.

The most obscure friend

of Thomas the Tank Engine you can think up.

These were my lads' favourite books. I better get this right!

-Diesel.

-Diesel.

Let's see if Diesel's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Diesel.

Absolutely right.

Oh, look at that! 2, Steve!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Fantastic answer! Diesel, scoring just 2.

Well played, Steve.

He's another troublemaker, Diesel. Always got a smirk on his face.

Trying to prove himself better than the steam engines. He's not better, he's newer.

-That's all!

-Yeah.

-That's all.

It doesn't make him a better person/engine.

-Does it?

-No.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand. Steve and Gemma.

Lovely low score - once again - of 2.

Now then, Dream Maker, Ben, 15. Can't be too upset with that.

Malcolm and John! Oh, Fat Controller,

you were thrilled with that answer!

It was the only one I had!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

It's put you at the head of the field.

So, John, we're going to have to see

what happens in the next pass, but whatever happens,

it's going to rely on a really good low answer from you,

if you're going to have a hope of staying in the game.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, now then, Gemma, we are looking for friends of Thomas.

You're going to try and find the one you think the fewest people knew.

-OK...

-You're the low scorers on 2.

-Yeah.

-62 is the high score.

You're on 2, so a score of 59 or less

will see you into the head-to-head.

I used to watch it when I was little,

so I think there was a bus called Bertie.

-So I shall say Bertie.

-Bertie, you're saying.

What do you think, Steve?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, Steve thinks that's good.

There is your red line, Gemma.

If you can get below that red line, you're through.

Let's see if Bertie's right,

and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

And you are through to the head-to-head. Well done.

7. Very, very well done indeed, Gemma!

That gives you a total of 9. A single figure total.

Another good score from Gemma, yeah. Bertie the bus, absolutely right.

He was a very friendly fellow.

OK. Thank you very much. Now then, Ben.

Ben, you're on 15.

Our high scorers are still John and Malcolm on 62.

You can score 46 or less,

you are in the head-to-head.

Well, I've got quite a young son, and I read him these books,

so I knew a fair few characters.

I think I'm going to go for Harold.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Absolutely right.

You are in the head-to-head. Very well done.

-1!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

The best score of the round, Ben!

Takes your total up to 16.

-I was going to say Harold, if I were playing.

-Were you?

Yes, it was worth reading those books, wasn't it?

-Absolutely!

-Yeah, Harold the helicopter.

He was always taking to the skies above Sodor,

to keep an eye on his friends.

Statistically, of all the vehicles in Thomas,

the most likely to crash.

LAUGHTER

-Statistically. Hasn't happened, but...

-Oh, yes. Very dangerous.

Now then, John, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you are the high scorers.

The good news is you can give us a fun answer.

Have you got any good answers?

I haven't got really any particularly good answers.

I do have two daughters and I used to read these books as well to them.

But they're 18 and 20, so it was a while ago.

So I think we'll go with some crazy name like Rupert.

-Rupert the engine?

-Yes.

-He was a bear as well!

-LAUGHTER

OK, Rupert, says John.

Let's see if Rupert is right. There's no red line for you

because you are the high scorers.

But let's see if it's right, and how many people said Rupert.

Bad luck, John. I'm afraid an incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

But it matters a bit less because you were already out.

-So your total is 162. Richard?

-Yeah, sorry, John.

Worth a risk, though.

There's virtually every name in the world on this list, so it was...

Shall we have a little look at some of the pointless answers?

There are all sorts of them.

And we would have added £250 to the jackpot

if Ben had said his own name, for example.

Oh!

Because there's Bill and Ben. The twins.

Let's take a look at some of these pointless ones, though.

Ben, Billy, Bulgy.

Fergus, Mighty Mac, and Rocky. Well done if you said any of those.

Sir Handel, Spencer, and Whiff.

There are lots of pointless answers,

and because I know a lot of children will be playing along and will have

said some of their favourites, I will go through all of them.

So bear with me. Listen out if you said any of these.

Duck, Stepney, Victor, Kevin, Hero,

Madge, Hank, Colin, Flora,

Stanley, BoCo, Hector, Bert, Dennis,

Freddie, Neville, Murdoch,

Caroline, Rusty, Harvey,

Rheneas, Charlie, 'Arry and Alfie.

Well done to anyone who said anything on that list.

They were all pointless.

I think that's the longest list of pointless answers we've ever had!

-It's a pretty long list, isn't it?

-It is.

Anyway, thank you very much, Richard.

So, I'm afraid the losing pair the end of our second round

is John and Malcolm, with their high score of 162.

Oh, dear!

Generationally, it didn't fall particularly well

for you that one, did it?

-BOTH: No.

-But you did very well. Fat Controller.

We had one right answer.

The good news is we will see you again next time.

We will look forward to that. Meanwhile, thanks for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting now

as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Gemma and Steve, Luke and Ben.

You are now only one round away from our final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at £6,500.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

You're now going to go head-to-head,

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

The great news is, from here on, you are allowed to confer,

so you can play as teams.

Well, Gemma and Steve,

you are our returning pair

out of the two, and you haven't been this far before,

so it's virgin territory for both of you.

Luke and Ben!

Whoa!

-Tricky start, wasn't it?

-Very tricky start!

I thought we were seeing the end of you, and then back you came!

Thomas the Tank Engine did it for us.

That was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful play there.

But Gemma and Steve have been our consistent low scorers

throughout the game so far, so they would seem to be the pair to beat.

Who knows? Anything might happen. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Spanish Cities.

Spanish Cities, Richard?

We'll show you five photographs of tourist attractions in different Spanish cities.

Can you name the cities, please? Very best of luck.

Let's reveal our five pictures of Spanish cities. And here they are.

We have got...

There we are. Five Spanish cities.

Gemma and Steve, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you go first.

-Do you know any?

-No, only the last one.

-I only know one. I might know A.

-Go with what you know.

-Shall we go with E?

-Go with what you definitely know.

Yeah. E, Barcelona.

E, Barcelona, say Gemma and Steve. E, Barcelona.

Luke and Ben, you can talk us through the board if you like.

-Do your thinking out loud.

-Pretty easy(!) It's not!

Basically we don't... well, we think we know one.

-Not sure about the rest.

-OK.

-So we think C is Bilbao.

OK, C, Bilbao. Right, so we have Barcelona and Bilbao.

Barcelona, E, is what Gemma and Steve are saying.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said

E was Barcelona.

Absolutely right.

33.

APPLAUSE

33. Now then, Luke and Ben,

you have said that C is Bilbao. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. C, Bilbao.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer. Which means,

Gemma and Steve, after one question, you are up 1-0. Richard?

Yeah, in Barcelona there, that's the Sagrada Familia,

the cathedral which they started building in March 1882

and will be finished in the first third of the 21st century.

I think they're using the same builders I used for my downstairs loo.

Now, C, were you thinking of the Guggenheim, maybe, in Bilbao?

Now that is actually a pointless answer, C.

It's the largest wooden building in the world,

and the largest building in the world held together entirely by glue.

-Wow.

-And it is the Metropol Parasol in Seville.

Pointless answer, very well done if you said that.

Wow, so one big wind and pshew! The Metropol Parasol has gone.

-No, they've thought of that.

-Really?

Yeah, when they made it, they thought it through.

-That was on the first day, they said, "We should be careful it doesn't blow away in the wind."

-I hope so!

A is the facade of the Palacio Real in Madrid.

That would have you scored 21 points. B, do you know B?

-Well, I've got a list of places it could be.

-OK.

-If I was to ask you to narrow it down to one.

-I don't know, I don't know.

-It's Palma Cathedral in Majorca.

-I wasn't going to say that.

-That would have scored you 4. And D?

-That is Granada.

It is, it's the Alhambra Palace in Granada.

And that scores 5 points.

-Very well done to anyone who got all five of those. Very impressive.

-Thank you, Richard.

Here comes your second question, the one that Luke and Ben have to win

to stay in the game.

And it concerns... the Women's Institute.

LAUGHTER

-The WI.

-Yeah, here's a proper category at last.

We're going to ask you five questions here about the Women's Institute,

can you provide us with the best answer?

OK, thanks very much indeed.

Five things about the Women's Institute,

here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time...

There we are. Five clues to facts about the WI.

Luke and Ben, you have to win this question. And you go first.

Brilliant.

Have you got any ideas at all?

I remember the slow hand-clapping but I can't remember who it was.

-Go for whatever you think.

-The film is Calendar Girls.

-Calendar Girls.

Calendar Girls, say Luke and Ben. The name of the 2003 film.

Gemma and Steve.

I think I know the name of the anthem,

-and I think it's Jerusalem.

-OK, you're going to say Jerusalem.

So we have Calendar Girls, we have Jerusalem.

Luke and Ben have said Calendar Girls,

the 2003 film about the WI fundraising effort.

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

-45.

-APPLAUSE

Is that going to be enough to save your bacon, do you think? 45.

Gemma and Steve have said Jerusalem is the name of the WI anthem.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it. Jerusalem.

It's right. Will it beat 45?

Yes, it will! 29.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done indeed.

That means, Gemma and Steve,

after only two questions you are through to the final 2-0.

-Very well done.

-Yeah, well played, Gemma and Steve.

Guys, were you tempted to go for the politician?

I was thinking it was John Prescott, but I wasn't sure.

Ah, it wasn't John Prescott, actually, it was Tony Blair.

But only scored 24 points.

I watched that on fast-forward, he went down very well.

They absolutely loved him.

The country in which the WI movement began is Canada.

The first one set up in Stoney Creek, Ontario.

That would have scored you 4 points.

And the title of the WI magazine until 2006, it's now WI Life,

but it was Home And Country.

And that is a pointless answer,

so very well done to anyone at home who said that.

-Some people at home will know that, won't they?

-Oh, definitely.

-Why did they change it from Home And Country?

-They change everything, don't they?

-Yeah.

-WI Life.

-Yeah.

Don't know why. But do you remember when this show used to be called Weakest Link?

LAUGHTER

OK. Well, thank you very much indeed, Richard. So the losing pair

at the end of the head-to-head, I'm sorry to say, Luke and Ben, some dreams have to come to an end.

-Exactly. It's OK.

-Hey. Well, the good news is you'll be back.

Otherwise you would only have been in one show.

-It's all about airtime, right?

-It's all about airtime, right.

So yeah, we'll see you again next time

and we'll look forward to that very much.

-Luke and Ben, great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for Gemma and Steve, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Gemma and Steve, you fought off

all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £6,500

APPLAUSE

Well, what a show!

And we've had some fantastic answers from you.

Gemma, a pointless answer from you in the first round.

With Tatu. Fantastic scoring in every round.

Not spectacular scoring in the head-to-head, safe answering,

but it was still a 2-0 victory, so very, very well done indeed.

Now the rules are very simple.

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today, Gemma, it was yours.

If you can find one more now, you will leave here with all that money.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category. You have a choice of five options, and they are...

-Right.

-Anything that stands out for you? Literary greats?

-Yeah, quite possibly. Nothing else.

-Music awards? No.

-I don't know, Moby, that's about it. Literary greats?

-Yeah.

-It's up to you. I don't know. You pick.

-Literary greats.

Literary greats it is. Let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many works by Joseph Conrad as they could.

-Joseph Conrad, Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any published work by Joseph Conrad.

Where a work forms part of a trilogy,

we're looking for the individual works rather than trilogy,

so we wouldn't accept, for example, the Malay or Lindgard trilogy.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much. You now have up to one minute,

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that £6,500

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah!

-OK.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Have you got any idea?

-I don't know any.

I know Jasper Conrad.

That's Conran, not Conrad.

Just make up some titles of some books.

-The Devil's Advocate?

-He said the Malay trilogy, that you can't say,

so do you know anything that might be in a Malay trilogy?

I've never even heard of him.

Why don't we say, I don't know, Black Narcissus.

-And then we can make up two more.

-Devil's Advocate.

-OK.

What does he sound like he'd write?

Sort of...

I don't know, he sounds like sort of....

-I've no idea. Trilogies, sort of science fiction.

-10 seconds.

-Science fiction sort of things.

-Right, so pick one.

Say, like, The Crusades or something.

-The Last Crusade?

-Yeah. Say something like that.

Your time is up. We were looking for works by Joseph Conrad.

I now need three answers from you.

-OK. We haven't got a clue.

-No.

-OK.

-These are quite often my favourite last rounds.

-Yeah.

-We're just going to make some up, so...

-OK, good.

-Devil's Advocate.

-Devil's Advocate.

-The Last Crusade.

-The Last Crusade.

-And Black Narcissus.

-And Black Narcissus.

OK. Of those three answers, is there any one...?

Which do you think's your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I really don't think it matters.

-Shall we put them

-in the order you said them?

-Yeah.

-I think that's best.

Devil's Advocate, Last Crusade, Black Narcissus.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order, and here they are.

-Oh, dear. It wasn't a great category for you.

-No.

We were looking for works by Joseph Conrad.

Something tells me we might still be looking for works by Joseph Conrad.

Your first answer was Devil's Advocate,

this was your least confident answer.

Now, look, let's just suppose you did stumble on a pointless and correct answer.

What would you do with £6,500?

-Gemma?

-I'd go on holiday with my mum next year.

-To Antigua.

-To Antigua.

Excellent. Steve, how about you?

-I'd probably go as well, if I was allowed.

-And...

-MUMBLES:

-And I said I'd buy her a ring, but...

-Hang on!

Enunciate that a bit more, Steve.

I said I'd buy her a ring if we won it.

-AUDIENCE: Aww.

-Wow. Wow.

You don't want to maybe make sure that Joseph Conrad

wrote Black Narcissus?

Just for fun?

OK, your first answer was the Devil's Advocate.

Let's see if it's right.

Well, there we are. Unfortunately, an incorrect answer.

Two more chances to win today's jackpot.

We are looking for the works of Joseph Conrad.

Your next answer was The Last Crusade.

Again, this has to be right. Let's just see if it's right first.

OK, yep.

Well, everything is now riding on Black Narcissus,

your third and final shot at this jackpot of £6,500.

Well, OK. Your third and final answer is Black Narcissus.

Let's see if this is correct. If it happens to be correct

and if it then is pointless, you will leave here with £6,500.

Black Narcissus. Is it right?

Aww!

APPLAUSE

Well, that's a real shame.

It's always a real pity when people who've played as well as you have throughout the show

then come up against an impossible category like that.

If you don't know any of those books,

there's nothing really you can do. Anyway, you did valiantly,

you came up with three perfectly plausible names for books.

So very good. Unfortunately you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

but you do still get to take home our Pointless trophy,

so very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, the wrong category for you, sorry about that.

The big scorers out there were Heart of Darkness, Nostromo,

Secret Agent, Lord Jim, those were the biggest scorers.

Let's look at some pointless answers, I know some of the people at home will have got a few of these.

Notes on Life and Letters, that's a series of his essays and reviews,

Suspense, that's commonly called his last unfinished novel.

Tales of Unrest, that was five short stories.

The Arrow of Gold, that was his first post World War I novel.

Two works that he wrote with Ford Madox Ford, The Inheritors

and The Nature of a Crime. Both of those pointless.

The Rescue, that's the first in the Malay trilogy.

'Twixt Land and Sea, and another novel, Under Western Eyes.

You could also have had A Set Of Six or Tales of Hearsay.

Very well done if you said any of those pointless answers.

OK, thank you. Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Gemma and Steve.

But it's been great having you on the show. Gemma and Steve!

APPLAUSE

Gemma and Steve didn't win our jackpot today, which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £7,500.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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