Episode 28 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the quiz where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

Now, first up, we welcome back Luke and Ben, who were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final. This is your second chance.

Now then, Luke, remind us how you know each other.

We are good mates and we met at a dinner party two or three years ago.

And what happened last time, Ben?

We got to head-to-head but we lost 2-0.

-On some quite tough categories, actually.

-They were tough.

-Yeah. WI?!

-What do we know about the WI?

-Good jam.

-Yeah, we know that.

-Jam didn't come into it, though, did it?

-No.

-What do you hope will come up today, Luke?

-Just something that I know.

-Fair enough.

Well, great to have you back, Luke and Ben. Head-to-headers last time.

You've got to be a shoo-in for the final today, I would have thought.

-Don't jinx us like that.

-No, that's a lot of pressure, that is.

-It is a bit. Well, listen.

-Can we just have fun?

Yeah, let's have fun and win.

-If you must.

-Sorry, no fun. Sorry guys. Not today.

Anyway, warm welcome back to the show, Luke and Ben. Very, very best of luck.

And next we welcome Helen and Josie.

Now, how do you two know each other, Helen?

We went to school together from year 7 onwards.

And then we also go to the same university, in Leeds.

-She followed me there.

-Is this true, Josie?

No. No, it's not.

She just likes to pretend, but you know.

Helen, you're at university, at Leeds. What year are you in?

-I'm in second year.

-Second year. And what are you reading?

I study physics with nanotechnology.

-It's a bit weird.

-Wow. Nanotechnology.

-Yeah.

-Josie, what are you reading?

Advanced colouring in. No, not really. I do geography.

Helen and Josie, a lovely warm welcome to you.

It's great to have you here. And next we welcome Tom and Ellie.

Now, how do you two know each other, Tom?

We're father and daughter.

Father and daughter. Always do well, father and daughter teams on Pointless.

-And what do you do, Ellie?

-I've just finished my degree, so...

What was your degree in?

A bit of a minority specialist subject. German.

-Wow. I've heard of that.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I've heard of that.

How is your German? Did you spend a lot of time in Germany?

Mein Deutsch ist perfekt, naturlich.

Naturlich. Ach so.

Ah! Yeah.

And Tom, what do you do?

I'm a professor of water sciences.

We get professors on Pointless, you see.

Well, we've had one, and you are it.

You are he. Water science? What, you make flumes?

No, it's a euphemism for sewage treatment.

Yeah, that sounds more like Pointless, OK.

-I did a degree in water science.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I got a 2:2.

Anyway, Tom and Ellie, a very warm welcome to you, it's lovely to have you on the show.

And finally, we welcome back Malcolm and John.

You were also on the show last time. Malcolm, remind us how you two know each other.

We work with each other, for the Department for Work and Pensions.

-Up in Newcastle?

-Yep.

-And John, what happened last time?

We sort of got stuck on the trains, I'm afraid.

-Oh, it was Thomas And Friends.

-Thomas And Friends.

-I didn't realise he had so many friends.

-Oh, he's got millions of friends.

Malcolm drummed up only one so, between us, we were a complete and abject failure.

Anyway, that was last time. John, what are you hoping is going to come up this time?

Something kind of blokish, you know, films, TV, drinks.

Malcolm, anything you'd particularly like to add to that?

-Probably rugby union.

-Right.

-Horse racing.

-Anything you really hope doesn't come up?

-Yeah.

Nanophysics, German and water treatment.

Very good indeed. Very best of luck, Malcolm and John.

You made it to the second round last time. I'd like to think at least the head-to-head today.

Best of luck. We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show as we go along.

There's only one person left to introduce.

Direct from opening a hospital, he's about to open your mind, he's my pointless friend, he's Richard.

Hiya. Hello.

Hello, everyone.

-What a fun bunch.

-Yeah, great bunch.

Don't you think? I would go so far as to say, possibly cleverest show ever?

-Yeah, I think so.

-Don't you think? Helen's doing a Masters in nanotechnology.

-Yeah.

-So, you think that's as clever as we're going to get.

And then Tom is a professor.

I mean, of effluence, but he's still a professor.

What a gang of swots.

Unbelievable. I have to say, I'm looking forward to round two, if Ellie gets through.

Brilliant. Me, too. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

To get through to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our contestants need to find the obscure answers our 100 people couldn't get.

So the fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points you will all score.

Now, what everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated,

so try and make sure that's not you. OK, our category for round one is...

Decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so our question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah. Xander's about to reveal to you six surnames

of famous families from literature.

You have to give us any of the siblings from any of those families.

So any of the siblings from any of the families you're about to see.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much.

Now then, Luke and Ben, you all drew lots before the show and, today, you are going first.

OK. So I'm going to reveal those six family names on the screen now. And they are...

Let me read that board again.

So, remember, we are looking for the names of siblings who shared these surnames.

-Luke.

-OK. Perfect.

-Wendy Darling, Peter Pan.

-Wendy, says Luke. Wendy.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said Wendy.

Absolutely right.

-35.

-Well done.

Good work.

35 for Wendy Darling.

RICHARD LAUGHS

Yeah, absolutely right. Wendy, darling.

Good answer, Luke. Wendy Darling. They say it's where the name Wendy originated.

It's certainly where it was popularised. But he didn't make it up.

It used to be a shortening of Gwendolyn, for example.

Now then, Helen.

The most obscure sibling from any of these families.

I know there are some twins in the Weasley family and I think one of them is called George.

George Weasley, let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said George Weasley.

It's right.

13, Helen.

Very well done. 13.

Well played, Helen. Exactly right. George Weasley.

Born on April Fool's Day. Ends up opening up a joke shop in Diagon Alley.

Don't ruin it for me!

Sorry. No, all right. Ends up dying in book seven.

Ellie. So, remember, we are looking for the names of siblings who shared these surnames.

I'm going to go for Meg March from Little Women.

Let's see if that's right. Meg March. How many of our 100 said Meg March?

Absolutely right.

Wow!

Very, very well done, Ellie.

Three for Meg March.

Terrific answer, Ellie. The eldest of the March sisters.

Ellie edging ever nearer to round two,

-which I look forward to seeing her in.

-Yes.

Now then, John.

A nice, obscure sibling from one of these literary families.

Good news, I know three.

Bad news, they've all gone.

So I'm having a punt at one of the Famous Five.

Georgina?

Georgina. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Georgina.

Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard.

Yeah. Sorry, John. Georgina is the cousin, I'm afraid, of that family.

She's a cousin, not one of the siblings.

Well, halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Well, Ellie, what an amazing score that was.

Meg March, scoring you a lovely low score of three.

Then, we go up to 13, where we find Helen and Josie.

Up to 35, where we find Luke and Ben.

And then, oh, it's quite a dizzy height we then go up to,

where we find John and Malcolm on 100.

So, Malcolm, we're going to need a brilliant low score from you.

We hope that's going to be enough to keep you in the game.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, so we are looking for siblings who shared these surnames in literature.

Malcolm, you're the highest scorers on 100 points.

All we need from you is a low-scoring answer.

I'll go Darling and George.

George, says Malcolm. Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

No red line for you, as you are already the high scorers.

Oh, bad luck, Malcolm.

George. An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Takes your total up to 200. I'm sorry. Richard.

Did you say George Darling?

Yes, darling.

Yeah, again. It's the name of the father, George Darling, in those books.

So, both of you have come up with very good answers, but not siblings.

A very tough 200, that, I would say.

So, Tom. Good news. You're through to the next round.

Doesn't matter what you score now, you still won't overtake Malcolm and John's high score of 200.

But maybe you have a nice, low-scoring answer

that'll match Ellie's brilliant answer in the first pass.

I don't think there's much chance of me matching Ellie.

And the only one I can think of,

and I hope it's right,

is Lizzie Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.

Lizzie Bennet, says Tom. Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

23.

23 takes your total up to 26.

Yes, the main character in Pride and Prejudice, the second eldest. Very well played.

Now, Josie. You're on 13. And, again, you're already through to the next round.

You won't be able to overtake the high score of John and Malcolm.

But have you got a good, low-scoring answer?

Well, I hope so.

I'm going to go with the second oldest Weasley and say Charlie?

Charlie Weasley, says Josie. Let's see how many people said Charlie Weasley.

Absolutely right.

Well, Helen went down to 13, where's Charlie going to go down to?

Oh, one!

Wow.

That's a cracking answer. One takes your total up to 14.

-Very well done, Josie.

-Yeah. Very well played, Josie.

Second oldest of the Weasley siblings. Absolutely right.

Now then, Ben.

-You're through, by the way.

-We're through.

-Hey, good news, you're through.

So, there are a few I know on there but I thought,

since we're already through, I'll take a punt on one I think might be quite a good answer, if it's right.

I'll go for Lydia Bennet.

Lydia Bennet, says Ben. How many people said Lydia Bennet? No red line, you're already through.

I can tell this is going to be a good one, Ben.

Very well done indeed!

Four for Lydia Bennet, takes your total up to 39. That's an excellent total.

Yeah, very well played. The youngest Bennet sister, of course,

ends up running off with George Wickham, doesn't she, in that?

Josie's answer of Charlie, actually, that's the joint best you could have done.

Other scores which would have scored you one... Bill Weasley would have scored you one point.

So, Bill and Charlie Weasley. Three points for Dick Kirrin. Dick from The Famous Five.

So Meg March, again, was a terrific answer, cos that's three.

Mary Bennet would have scored you four. Julian Kirrin also would have scored you four.

Percy Weasley, that would have scored you four. Those are the best answers there.

Let's take a look at the worst answers, though, the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Elizabeth, which we already heard.

Elizabeth Bennet would have scored you 23.

Wendy, Wendy Darling, 35.

And right at the top, Ron, of course. Ron Weasley, 38 points.

-Thank you very much.

-That was a good round, wasn't it?

Very good. Yeah, everyone did pretty... Ah.

No, no, but you did badly very well, though.

Two Georges you submitted were nearly right.

It's amazing cos I had all of the Kirrin names and I chose the wrong one.

Cos I could have done the other three children.

-Crazy.

-Bad luck. Well, I'm really sorry. This is where we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been lovely having you on both shows. Thank you for playing. Malcolm and John, great contestants.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Well, three pairs have made it past the first hurdle

but another pair will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Best of luck for round two. Our category is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

Yes!

There we go.

-Richard?

-That is genuinely the luck of the dice.

That's how it comes up sometimes.

We're going to give you, on each pass, six clues

that will lead you to a famous German town or city.

Can you name that town or city, please? A nice, obscure answer, Ellie, will score you very few points

but an incorrect answer will score you 100 points. Twelve in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So we are looking for the German towns or cities

described by these clues and we have got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are, six clues to towns or cities in Germany.

Luke, you are going first. What do you make of that board?

-I want to cry a little bit.

-Really?

Yeah. I'll guess at something, I guess.

-OK.

-Most populous city, Berlin?

Berlin, says Luke, Berlin.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Berlin.

-Absolutely right.

-Good guessing, there.

51.

It's right.

51, anyway, 51. Not a bad score.

That's quite a low score for "Name the capital of Germany" isn't it?

Yeah. Now then, Helen.

I think I'm going to go for Oktoberfest,

which is somewhere I'd really like to go, and I think it's in Munich?

You're going to say Munich for the Oktoberfest.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said Munich.

Absolutely right.

36. Very well done, Helen.

Yeah, very well done. The majority of Oktoberfest takes place in September,

though always ends on the first Sunday of October.

So, if you're going over, go in September.

Now then, Ellie, you have the pick of the board.

OK. Well, obviously, even in my wildest dreams,

I could not have imagined that such a round would come up.

The first one would be Frankfurt.

The oldest university in modern-day Germany is Heidelberg.

Then, Goering would have been found guilty of war crimes in Nuremberg.

And the annual Wagner festival actually takes place

near where I went on exchange every year in Bayreuth.

I think I'm going to go with that one.

-Bayreuth.

-Yeah.

OK. Bayreuth, says Ellie.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Absolutely right.

Brilliant, Ellie. Two.

-Well done.

-Very, very well done indeed.

Yeah. Bayreuth, very good answer, in northern Bavaria.

It's very lucky sometimes, isn't it, if your absolute speciality comes up?

Though I have to say, Tom, your speciality is not coming up in round three.

Let's go through the rest of the board. We don't have to

cos Ellie's just done it and with better pronunciation than me.

Goering was found guilty in Nuremberg.

Absolutely right. Would have scored 26. Frankfurt or "Frankfoort".

-Frankfoort.

-I'm going to say Frankfoort from now on.

Would have scored you 14.

And you're absolutely right about the university, it's Heidelberg, would have scored seven.

So, Bayreuth, actually the best answer on that board.

-Very well done if you got that at home.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Ellie, I'm delighted to say,

you have the lowest score of the pass. Two.

Then we come up to 36, where we find Helen and Josie.

Up to 51, where we find Luke and Ben. Good luck with that.

Thank you. I'm feeling confident.

Good. You're going to need it.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK. We're going to put six more clues to German towns and cities on the board.

And here they are. We have got...

I will read all of those again.

Now, there we are. We are looking for the names of the German towns or cities described here.

Tom, as ever, you're looking to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, good news, Tom. Ben and Luke are on 51. You're the low scorers on two.

If you can score 48 or less, you are through to the next round.

I'm going to go with one that I'm certain of, which is the top one

and it's Aachen.

Known to the French as Aix-la-Chapelle. Aachen.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right. Very, very well done, Tom.

And you are through.

Oh, very, very well done indeed. Equalling Ellie's low score of two.

That takes your total up to four. Fantastic.

-Well done, Tom. They're good, aren't they?

-Yeah.

Tom and Ellie, that's very impressive.

Yeah, one of the great historic cities in Europe, Aachen. A very beautiful place as well.

-Two points. Very good answer.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Josie. High scorers remain Ben and Luke on 51. You're on 36.

You need to be scoring 14 or less if you want to avoid becoming the high scorers yourselves.

Yeah, that's probably not going to happen.

But I think it's the Pied Piper of Hamelin?

Hamelin you're going to say, for the Pied Piper.

Let's see if Hamelin's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

55.

-55 takes your total up to 91. Richard.

-Yes, a big score, Josie.

-Makes the last answer very interesting, doesn't it?

-Doesn't it?

Of course, the famous Pied Piper of Hamelin. Well, now, Ben.

The high scorers are now Josie and Helen on 91.

You're on 51, so a score of 39 or less

and you are in the head-to-head.

The canal, I'm guessing, is the Suez but I'm not sure.

Bonn, I think, was replaced as capital.

And I think Hamburg lost to Liverpool in the '77 European Cup final. I'm not sure about the water.

But I'm going to go with Hamburg for the European Cup final one.

European Cup final, Hamburg.

Lets see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Oh, bad luck, Ben. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points,

taking your total up to an unbeatable 151.

Yeah, it's not Hamburg I'm afraid. They were very strong at that time

but it was Borussia Moenchengladbach.

So Moenchengladbach would have been the answer.

Would have scored six points. That's the old joke.

Who's the most unpopular man on the terraces at Borussia Moenchengladbach?

The man who goes, "Give me a B!"

Let's take a look at the rest. Replaced as capital, you were absolutely right, it was Bonn.

Should have gone with that, would have scored you 28 points and seen you into the next round, I'm afraid.

The perfumed water invented here.

You do know it when you see the answer, it's Cologne.

Or Koln, as they say in Germany. 29 points.

And shares its name with a canal linking the North Sea and the Baltic Seas.

It's not Suez. Ellie, do you know that one?

-I actually don't. That's the only one I didn't know.

-Yes! Yes!

How about that?

High five.

-But, apparently, he knows it.

-I know it.

I don't care if he knows it.

-What is it, Tom?

-Is it the Kiel Canal?

Yeah, Kiel is the answer. Absolutely right. Well done.

That would have scored 11 points. So, the best answer on the board there, Aachen.

So on both passes, Tom and Ellie got the best answers. Well done.

Thank you very indeed, Richard. So, at the end of round two,

the losing pair with the highest score, Ben and Luke.

-That was bad luck.

-C'est la vie.

-C'est la vie.

-We had a good time.

-We had fun.

-You've been brilliant.

You've been fantastic contestants. It's been fun having you on the show.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now. I thought you were going to be finalists, I really did.

Thank you so much for playing so well. Ben, Luke, great contestants. Thank you.

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Tom and Ellie, Helen and Josie.

You are only one round away from the final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at...

You'll now go head-to-head and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

The difference is, from here on in, you are allowed to confer.

Helen and Josie, you were the low scorers in the first round.

Tom and Ellie, low scorers by a massive, whopping margin in the second.

Ellie, how was that?

Yeah. In my wildest dreams, as I said, I could not have dreamt of a better round.

Yeah. And, in your wildest dreams, did your dad know the answer to something you didn't know?

As much as I hate to admit it, it has been known to be possible.

Hey, from now on, it doesn't matter

cos you are now teams and you can confer all you like.

Let's play the head-to head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Yeah. We're going to show you five photographs from films directed by David Fincher.

Can you name the most obscure of these, please?

OK. Thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five David Fincher feature films.

And here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five David Fincher films.

Now, Tom and Ellie, because you played best throughout the show so far, you get to go first.

The only one I might have any idea is D, which I think is Aliens.

Aliens, say Tom and Ellie for D.

Aliens, D. Now then, Helen and Josie, you can talk us through the board, if you like.

We had no idea who David Fincher even was when his name came up

but, luckily, we know some of those films.

I know that B's The Social Network.

And C's Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Also, conflictingly, I think that D is Alien Resurrection, not Aliens.

But I think we're going to go for C.

Yeah, we're going to go for C, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

C, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

So, Tom and Ellie have said Aliens. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it. Aliens.

Helen and Josie, you might have been right there.

But that's not the one you went with. You have said that C is The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Let's see if that's right.

And it is right.

Down it goes. 14. Very well done.

But it was right, which means, after one question, Helen and Josie, you are up 1-0.

Well played, Helen and Josie. Good answer. He's a terrific director, David Fincher.

As you say, you may not know the name, but you recognise the films, at least some of them.

A is a brilliant film, a bit grim, but brilliant. Zodiac, with Jake Gyllenhaal there and Mark Ruffalo.

That would have scored you three points.

You were absolutely right about B, the Oscar-nominated The Social Network.

Won for best adapted screenplay, as well.

That would have scored you 15 points.

D, it's not Aliens I'm afraid, it's Alien 3.

That would have scored you nine points.

And the last one on the board.

Seven. It is Seven. Absolutely right.

Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Gwyneth Paltrow there.

And that would have scored you 16 points.

Now, OK. Here comes your second question.

And it concerns...

Tom and Ellie, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Best of luck. Richard.

Yeah. We'll show you the years that five World Cup finals took place.

I'm going to show you the initials of the man who won the Golden Boot

for the highest scorer in those tournaments.

Can you name any of those Golden Boot winners, please? Best of luck.

OK. Let's reveal our initials of Golden Boot winners and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Five initials of Golden Boot winners.

Now, Helen and Josie, you go first this time.

WHISPERING

-Football isn't quite our strongest point.

-Not this old, anyway.

Yeah, not this old, but we're going to go for Gary Lineker, 1986.

Gary Lineker, 1986.

Now then, Tom and Ellie.

Well, I know that E,

well, I think E is Eusebio from 1966.

1970, GM,

sticking with the German theme, might be Gerd Muller.

-So, which one shall we say?

-Are you certain on Gerd Muller?

-Yeah, has to be Gerd Muller.

-OK. Yeah, whatever. Let's go for it.

-Yeah.

-Gerd Muller.

-Gerd Muller.

-Germany's done us OK.

We have Gary Lineker, we have Gerd Muller.

Now, Helen and Josie have gone for Gary Lineker. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

That's a surprise.

27.

27.

Now, Tom and Ellie, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Let's see if Gerd Muller is going to do it for you.

27's what you have to beat if Gerd Muller is right. Let's see if it is right.

It is right. Can you get down lower than 27?

Yes you can!

11! Very well done indeed. Gerd Muller.

Tom and Ellie, you're back in the game.

Very, very well done. After two questions, it's 1-1. Richard.

Yeah, well played. As you say, West Germany,

Gerd Muller. Scored 10 goals in the 1970 World Cup finals.

Gary Lineker, the only Englishman ever to win the Golden Boot, scored six in 1986.

Let's go through the rest of the board. There's another German up there.

It's not PR. That is Paolo Rossi, the Italian,

would have scored you seven points.

MK, he is a German. That's Miroslav Klose.

Would have scored you four.

And you're absolutely right, Tom. E was Eusebio.

Also would have won you the point but only just. 26 that would have scored you.

Thanks very much. Now, here comes your third question, the decider.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot of £7,500.

Very best of luck, both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yes, a suitably highbrow end to the cleverest episode of Pointless ever.

We're going to show you five clues to facts about Marie Curie.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please? Very, very best of luck to both teams.

Thanks, Richard. So let's reveal our five facts about Marie Curie.

Here they are. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about Marie Curie.

Tom and Ellie, you go first.

OK. So, we know a couple, or we think we know a couple.

But we're going to go with the country she was born in,

which we reckon is Poland.

You're going to say Poland, the country she was born in.

Now then, Helen and Josie, you can talk aloud now.

Her husband was definitely called Pierre,

but I think that would score a lot more

than the country she was born in.

-She discovered radon.

-Yeah.

-Or I think it might be radium.

Go for that. We'll say she discovered radium.

-Radium.

-And hope it's...

In the order they were given, we have Poland, we have radium.

Tom and Ellie have said she was born in Poland.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final.

Very exciting. Poland, is that where she was born?

If so, how many people said it?

Absolutely right.

11.

11 is what you score.

Wow. Helen and Josie, that's what you're up against.

-What do we think?

-Not good.

Well, who knows? Radium.

Radium is what Helen and Josie are submitting as the element she discovered.

Let's see if it's right, radium, and, if it is, let's see if it might beat that low score of 11.

It is right.

Ooh, 44.

Two great answers but Poland pipped radium, I'm afraid.

Which means, after three questions, Tom and Ellie, you are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Very well played, Tom and Ellie.

Helen and Josie, you're absolutely right that it was Pierre Curie.

Wouldn't have actually saved you, as it would have scored you 13 points.

There's a pointless answer up there, which is the first name of her Nobel Prize winning daughter,

which is Irene. Very well done if you said that at home.

Now, you would be in the final right now, Helen,

if you had said to that bottom question the subject that you've been studying.

-If you'd said physics...

-I thought it might have been chemistry.

-You'd now be in the final.

-I thought that.

Four points that would have scored you.

-I picked the best partner, clearly.

-Hey.

-What a terrific head-to-head, wasn't it?

-Amazing.

Brilliant head-to-head, though. I mean, really good.

Sadly though, we have to say goodbye to a pair, and the pair we have to say goodbye to is Helen and Josie.

However, there's a silver lining, which is we get to see you again next time.

So, if you had gone through to the final, that would be it.

So we'll see you again next time. We look forward to that. Helen and Josie, great contestants.

But, for Tom and Ellie, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Tom and Ellie, you fought off all the competition valiantly

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

The rules are very simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers today.

You only have to find one now and you will go home with that £7,500.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category. Here are your five options. You can choose from...

OK. So, under no circumstances British actors.

I'm not that great on country music, either.

-I think we should go with novelists.

-Yeah, we'll go for novelists.

-We'll go for novelists.

Novelists. OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Julian Barnes novels as they could.

Julian Barnes novels. Richard.

Yeah, and just a pause to say that this is the 2,000th question in Pointless history.

-Can you believe that?

-Wow. Yes.

That's brilliant.

And what questions they've been.

So fingers crossed you win it, guys. We're looking for any novel

written by the Booker Prize winning author Julian Barnes,

up to the beginning of May 2012, please.

We are not counting non-fiction, short stories or collections,

nor his detective fiction published as Dan Kavanagh.

Just any of the novels published by Julian Barnes.

Very, very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that £7,500 jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Do you know any Julian Barnes novels?

-I have read some of his novels.

-OK, something about George, is that one?

-George?

-No, go on then, if you've read some.

I know one called Flau... There's one called Flaubert's Parrot.

-Certain about that?

-I'm certain about that one.

-OK, we'll go with that.

-But I think people will know that.

-Really? OK.

I feel like there's something Arthur and George, is that Julian Barnes?

-I don't know.

-That sounds like something, quite a recent one.

But I'm not certain. We could put that as a bottom answer.

He started writing, I think, in the '80s. And I'm sure I read a couple

-and I think there was one called Metroland.

-Metroland, ooh, I recognise the name of that.

-I think I've seen it on the shelf.

-And was there one... I might be confusing him with another author.

-I thought there was one called An Ice Cream War.

-I don't know.

-I'm not sure that was Julian Barnes.

-I really don't know. So we'll go with Metroland.

-I think that was by Julian Barnes.

Yeah, I feel like I've seen that on the bookshelf. Haven't read it, but...

-So, shall we go with that?

-But I haven't read any of his recent ones.

-10 seconds left.

-Metroland, Flaubert's Parrot, cos we know that's certain.

-And let's try An Ice Cream War. I'm not sure if...

-Or Arthur and George?

-Let's try Ice Cream War.

-No, I'm not certain. We'll try Ice Cream War.

OK, there's your time up. We were looking for Julian Barnes novels.

I now need your three answers. They are...

-OK, so we're going to go for Metroland.

-Metroland.

-Flaubert's Parrot.

-Flaubert's Parrot.

-And what was the last one?

-An Ice Cream War.

And An Ice Cream War.

-Yeah.

-Now, of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably, if it's right, An Ice Cream War.

-An Ice Cream War. We'll put that last.

-Then Metroland, because it was the...

-Second.

-I think the parrot one.

-We'll put Flaubert's Parrot first.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put those on the board in that order. And here they are. We have got...

OK. We were looking for Julian Barnes novels.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember,

to win that jackpot of £7,500.

What would you do with £7,500, Tom?

Well, I did say I would pay off some of Ellie's student loan.

-Boring.

-But, I might also buy myself a Bedford Rascal van.

Very good. Ellie?

Well, I've wanted to go to Istanbul for quite a long time.

So, I guess, it would finance a trip to Istanbul.

OK. Well, very, very best of luck. Let's see. Flaubert's Parrot.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it. Flaubert's Parrot.

Absolutely right.

This is your first shot at that jackpot of £7,500.

And down it goes, into the teens.

Into single figures. Still going down. Look at that. Two!

Wow!

Wow.

Now that's one of Barnes' better known books.

Unfortunately, not pointless.

Still, that means you have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

We're looking for Julian Barnes novels. Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Metroland.

Now, if this is pointless, you will leave here immediately with £7,500 in your back pockets.

Metroland, let's see, is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

Down it goes. Well, Flaubert's Parrot took us down to two.

Metroland still going down.

If this takes you all the way down to zero, you leave with £7,500.

And down it goes. Oh, two again.

The same people.

The same people.

But you know what, Metroland, you said it yourself, Ellie,

-you think you'd seen it on a shelf.

-Yeah.

You remember Metroland.

You don't remember An Ice Cream War. Well, Tom does.

I can see the book cover, I think, but I'm not sure that it said Julian Barnes.

-But it was around that time.

-You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is resting on An Ice Cream War. We're looking for a Julian Barnes novel.

Let's see An Ice Cream War.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Oh, no!

-Oh, well.

-Never mind. We get the trophy.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer, which means, unfortunately,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

But you do still get to take home our Pointless trophy.

So very well done for that.

Yeah. Sorry Tom, sorry Ellie. Our 2,000th question, you made a valiant effort.

An Ice Cream War, it's one of his contemporaries. It's William Boyd, wrote the Ice Cream War.

Now, a little bit earlier on, Tom, you knew Kiel and Ellie didn't.

And, you know, so that was 1-0 to you.

I'm afraid that Ellie knew an answer here that you didn't know, which was Arthur and George,

and it was a pointless answer.

-Sorry.

-I thought you were going to say it, right up to the last second.

I've never even read a Julian Barnes book.

You'll never read one now, I assure you. Let's take a look at the pointless answers.

Some of his biggest books up here.

Arthur and George. Pointless answer, would have won you £7,500.

Love, Etc, which was the follow-up to Talking It Over, which wasn't pointless.

And his 2011 Booker Prize winner, The Sense Of An Ending.

Also a pointless answer, amazingly.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Honestly, a lot of those are very worth reading, but I wouldn't recommend it for you, I think.

Imagine that.

Oh, that's hard to swallow, isn't it? Oh, Arthur and George.

Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Tom and Ellie.

It's been great having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing.

Brilliant, brilliant contestants.

So, Tom and Ellie didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for...

Join us next time to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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