Episode 50 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Well, first we welcome Ken and David. How do you know each other?

We're in the same drama group. An amateur dramatic group in Burnley.

-Very good. What do you do, Ken?

-I'm retired. I was a social worker.

And aside from your acting, what do you like to get up to?

I'm a season ticket holder for Burnley. I have been for 20 years.

-And what did you do, David?

-I was a bank manager.

-And how are you filling your retirement?

-I've got a narrowboat

-and I'm doing an OU degree in History.

-So history is good, Burnley, in general, football...

-Not necessarily football. Just Burnley.

-Just Burnley. Great to have you on the show.

A warm welcome, Ken and David.

Next we welcome back Judith and Alastair. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

-Remind us how you know each other.

-He's my eldest son.

-And Alastair, Paris St Germain was your undoing.

-It didn't go well.

-No, it didn't. Round One!

-Yeah, I've got a lot of stick to go back to.

-And your mum did brilliantly.

-Thanks for that(!)

-What do you hope comes up today?

-History, geography, perhaps.

-OK.

-Something like that.

-Judith?

-I quite like science, I love travelling.

-So that translates into geography, capital cities, airports.

-Mm.

-These sorts of things. Very good.

-Anything you'd like not to come up?

-Although I go regularly to films,

-remembering things I can't do. I can't remember.

-Same here.

So that sort of thing. Or books, art and literature...

It was Round One last time. I'm sure we'll see much more of you.

Next we welcome Frances and Theresa. How do you two know each other?

-I've worked with Frances for 10 years.

-Wow. And what do you do?

-I'm a...civil servant.

-Oh. With a pause, though.

-Which means "spy".

-Yeah.

-As we always know.

-I can't believe we've got another spy!

-And you're a spy, too?

-Obviously.

-Yes!

-That's what spies are taught to say. Where are you from?

-Penzance in Cornwall.

My favourite part of the world after Northumberland. What do you hope comes up?

-I used to be a head chef, so food, I like science.

-Fantastic. How about you, Frances?

-Em, geography, history.

-OK. A very warm welcome to you. Very, very best of luck.

-And, finally, Lily and Steve. How do you know each other?

-You may see a slight resemblance.

-Hope not!

-He's my dad!

-Lily, there's no moustache or beard.

-And a slightly smaller nose.

-Where are you from?

-We're from Bristol.

-And what do you do, Steve?

When I'm not cycling or running and I'm not cooking fantastic curries,

-I'm a real forensic scientist.

-Wow. What area do you specialise in?

-All sorts, really,

but death would sum it up.

LAUGHTER And worse.

Death and worse?! Oh, no...

-Wow. Oh, lordy. Lily, what do you do?

-Well, I'm studying for an MSc in Ecology at the moment.

-And what do you like to get up to?

-I love to sing. Given any audience, I will sing.

-This will feed into a broad knowledge of music.

-I hope so.

I'm not so bad on classical and most popular things.

-Steve, what's your favourite category?

-Em, science, generally,

but we've got a few specialist subjects like alpacas and pylons.

Quite niche.

-Good.

-I've got a good alpaca fact.

-Go on.

-Delicious!

Mmm.

Lovely.

Lily and Steve, lovely to have you. We'll find out more about all of you as the show goes along.

Only one person left to introduce. You're about to meet your obscurity nemesis.

-It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya. Hiya.

This is going to be lots of fun. What a lovely group of teams.

Judith and Alastair we had last time. Alastair was absolutely gutted, I think.

He got a football question wrong, his mum got it right... He's got something to prove.

-If he goes out in Round One now...

-Oh!

-Yeah. Big trouble for Alastair.

-Yeah.

Round One. We have four lovely teams and Round One is a lovely question.

Oh, is it? It's been a while since we had one of those.

-A lovely question.

-A lovely question.

Very good indeed. All our questions have been put to 100 people.

To get to the final round and a chance of winning our jackpot, our contestants need obscure answers.

The fewer of those 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that no one knew.

Each time that happens, we'll add £250 to the jackpot. Nobody won it last time, so we add another £1,000

and today's jackpot starts off at £8,250.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

The pair with the highest score are eliminated. OK, our category for Round One is...

Comedians. Can you all decide who will go first and who goes second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns... members of comedy groups.

-Richard?

-In a moment, Xander will show you a board with six comedy groups or comedy troupes on it.

Tell us any of the main members of any of those six groups, please.

-Very best of luck.

-OK.

Right, Ken and David, you all drew lots before the show and today you are going to go first.

-Our six comedy groups are...

-HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those one last time.

-Now then, Ken.

-I'm going to go for The Goon Show

-and say Michael Bentine.

-Michael Bentine, says Ken. Michael Bentine.

How many of our 100 said that?

It's right.

Oh, that's a good answer.

16. Very well done.

Yes, Michael Bentine, The Goon Show. Back in the '60s in TV Centre, which is where we are now,

he caused so much chaos they assumed anything that went wrong was him.

There was a genuine armed robbery at the BBC cashiers

and the guy ran out with a stocking over his head and the guard said, "Good afternoon, Mr Bentine."

And saluted him on his way.

Judith...

I think I'm going to try and play safe, which might not be.

-The Goodies - Tim Brooke-Taylor.

-Tim Brooke-Taylor, says Judith.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

32.

-32 for Tim Brooke-Taylor.

-Lovely Tim Brooke-Taylor.

-His granddad played centre forward for England.

-Did he really?

-Yeah.

-Ah. Frances?

-The Goon Show -

Harry Secombe.

Harry Secombe, says Frances. How many of our 100 said Harry Secombe?

It's correct!

35.

-35 for Harry Secombe.

-Played Neddie Seagoon in The Goons.

Now then, Lily. The most obscure member of one of these comedy troupes.

OK, it was quite a good round, comedians. But I'm going to go for The League of Gentlemen

and I'll say Steve Pemberton.

Steve Pemberton. Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 said Steve Pemberton.

Absolutely right.

One for Steve Pemberton!

That's a great answer, Lily.

Very well done indeed.

Terrific answer. Steve Pemberton. Also well known for Benidorm, Whitechapel and on this show.

-Yeah. And Psychoville, of course.

-He's brilliant, Steve Pemberton, and a lovely fella.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores. Lily and Steve looking very strong on one.

Then we travel up to 16 where we find Ken and David.

Then up to 32 for Judith and Alastair

and just up a few more to 35 and Frances and Theresa.

You are the high scorers. Not by much, but we need a low-scoring answer from you, Theresa.

OK, we'll come back down the line. Can the second players take their place at the podium?

OK, we are looking for main comedy performers in these comedy groups.

Now then, Steve, the high scorers on 35 are Theresa and Frances. You are on one.

-If you can score 33 or less, you will avoid becoming the high scorers.

-OK.

-I'll take one from Monty Python and I'll go Terry Gilliam.

-Terry Gilliam, says Steve.

Terry Gilliam. How many of our 100 people said Terry Gilliam?

There is your red line. Below that, you are through to the next round.

It's right.

Very well done. 16 for Terry Gilliam.

Takes your total up to 17.

Very strong answer. The American Python who did all the animation.

His first directing credit was Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

Now then, Theresa, you're the high scorers so we need clever answering.

-Is this a good round for you?

-Not really. I'll take a risk with The Goodies and Graeme Garden.

No red line for you, Theresa, as you are the high scorers.

Just get down as far as you can. Graeme Garden.

It's correct.

19.

-19 for Graeme Garden takes your total up to 54.

-Yes, a good, solid answer.

The nicest man in show business. Tim Brooke-Taylor's granddad played for England.

Graeme Garden's son plays keyboards for The Scissor Sisters.

-Really?

-He does, yeah.

-Brilliant. I had no idea.

-Yeah.

Amazing.

Alastair, you're on 32. If you can score 21 or less,

you will avoid overtaking the high scorers, who are Theresa and Frances on 54.

We are looking for the main performers in these comedy groups. This is where we redeem ourselves.

-This is not a good round for me.

-No, this is where we redeem ourselves.

I seem to remember someone in The Goon Show with the name Andrew Shovel, but I'll play safe

and say Monty Python, Michael Palin, because I just can't think of anything else.

Michael Palin, Monty Python. There is your red line.

This is the line you have to get below. Michael Palin. Is it right? And how many people said it?

It's right.

38, Alastair.

Takes your total up to 70.

-Richard?

-A pretty big score. Maybe a fatally high score.

The youngest of the Pythons, who went on to do lovely travelogues.

Now, David, you're on 16. The high scorers are now Alastair and Judith On 70.

If you can score 53 or less you are through to the next round.

Talk us through the board if you like.

I was going to say Terry Gilliam. I thought that was a good one.

-I'll come down to The League of Gentlemen, Mark Gatiss.

-Mark Gatiss, says David.

If you can get below that red line with Mark Gatiss, you are through. How many people said Mark Gatiss?

Absolutely right.

And you are through to the next round.

Two! What a great score.

-Two takes your total up to 18.

-That's a terrific answer.

-A great low score.

-I'd hope Mark Gatiss would deserve more than that.

-He also created Sherlock along with Steven Moffat.

He plays Mycroft in the Sherlock things.

-And a brilliant writer, actor, performer.

-Brilliant man.

-Now there's only one pointless answer

-and that's the non-performing member of League of Gentlemen.

-Ah!

-Wonderful writer...

-Jeremy Dyson.

He was a pointless answer. Steve Pemberton one, Rob Newman one.

From The Mary Whitehouse Experience. The other members were Hugh Dennis, Steve Punt and David Baddiel.

They all scored two points. Reece Shearsmith scored four.

The best answer in Three of a Kind, with Tracey Ullman and Lenny Henry, was David Copperfield, five points.

Lenny Henry 10, Tracey Ullman 11.

Terry Jones was the best Python. He scored 15 points.

And Michael Bentine was the best of the Goons on 16. Let's look at the worst answers.

Michael Palin, 38, was the third-highest answer of all.

Bill Oddie, 43, from The Goodies. And who tops this one?

-John Cleese.

-Absolutely right. And he would have scored 62 points.

David Copperfield. When is there a limit to who has that name?

-There about five famous Michael Jacksons.

-Three is the limit.

You've got Dickens' David Copperfield, the magician and the TV guy.

Mike Read is another one. Mike Read the DJ, Mike Reid from EastEnders and Mike Reid the golfer.

And that was it. That door was shut. So three is the internationally-recognised limit.

Fair enough. That's good.

Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair with the highest score is Alastair and Judith again!

-This wasn't meant to happen.

-This wasn't a good idea, coming on.

-No!

-I'm joking!

-We had a ticker tape parade and everything planned for the last round.

-We thought you'd get that jackpot.

-Yeah.

-Look on the bright side.

-Your mum has done brilliantly.

-Yeah.

-Every cloud.

-She has been brilliant. Oh, Judith.

They'll be putting the bunting up for your return. Not yours, Alastair.

-You didn't do badly, Two good, correct answers, but they were high scorers.

-Mm-hm.

It's been lovely having you. I'm sorry it's been so brief, but thank you so much for playing.

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

Sadly, at the end of this round, another pair will be leaving us. I wonder which pair it will be.

We had one returning pair and you're all completely new.

You've kicked them off. So anything can happen from here on in. Very best of luck.

Our category for Round Two is... horse racing.

Horse racing. Can you all decide who's going to go first and who goes second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns... horseraces and their racecourses.

-Richard?

-On each pass we'll give you the name of six British horseraces.

You need to give us the name of the racecourse on which they are run.

An incorrect answer will score 100 points. A nice, obscure answer will get you fewer points.

This is a category where some people will get all 12. For others, it will be damage limitation.

OK, thanks very much. So we are looking for the UK racecourses that host these famous races.

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read them one last time.

There we are. Six horseraces. You need to give me the name of the UK racecourse

that hosts each of them. You want to pick one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Ken...

I know one or two, but they're going to be high-scoring.

So I'm going to really have a punt and say...

The Sussex Stakes.

-Goodwood.

-Goodwood. The Sussex Stakes, says Ken.

Sounds reasonable to me. Is that right? How many people knew that?

Absolutely right, Ken. Good guess, if it was a guess.

Six!

That's how you do it. Six for Goodwood.

Great answer. The Sussex Stakes is the feature race at Glorious Goodwood, on the second day there.

Frankel won it in 2011, the extraordinary racehorse.

-They call it the world's most beautiful racecourse.

-Stunning.

-It's lovely.

-Theresa. We're looking for any UK racecourse that hosts these races.

-Yes.

Not a good subject for me, I'm afraid.

I might have to make an educated guess. I'll go for The Oaks, Epsom.

The Oaks, Epsom, says Theresa. Let's see if it's right and how many people knew that answer.

It's right!

13, Theresa!

-That was very, very, very cleverly guessed.

-I don't think it was lucky. It was somewhere in your head.

That's Pointless for you. It's arguably the top race for fillies in Europe, The Oaks.

Now then, Lily, you can talk us through the board

or at least do your reasoning out loud as you go down.

Well, I'm not embarrassed to say this is a bad round for me. I'll just pick one I'm not sure of

and pick a racecourse. So... between Champion Hurdle and Coronation Stakes.

And I'm going to say... Champion Hurdle and Cheltenham.

Champion Hurdle, Cheltenham, says Lily. Let's see if that's right

and how many people knew that.

-Absolutely right, Lily!

-What?! That's crazy.

-Amazing.

Nine!

-How extraordinary. Very well done indeed. Amazing. Brilliant.

-Very well done.

The shortest and fastest race at the Cheltenham Festival.

The Grand National is the most obvious. Aintree. 70 points.

-Scottish Grand National. Do you know that one?

-I don't.

It's Ayr. It would have scored 16. The Coronation Stakes?

-Ascot.

-Absolutely right. Three points. Well done if you said that.

Thanks, Richard. Let's look at those scores.

Six is the best score so far. Ken and David looking pretty good.

Then up to nine, Lily and Steve. Lily, you did brilliantly. Fantastic guess.

And Theresa, fantastic guess. You're all still in the game,

although, once again, Frances, you are the high scorers. So we need some clever answering.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We'll put six more horse races on the board. Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we are looking for the UK race courses that host these races

and, Steve, you'll try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

You're on 9. The high scorers on 13 are Frances and Theresa,

so a score of 3 or less would stop you becoming our new high scorers.

Yes, I think my daughter doth protest too much.

I'll be looking through her bin when I get home for betting slips.

LAUGHTER

But I will go the Welsh Grand National at Chepstow.

Chepstow, says Steve, for the Welsh National. Here is your red line, very low indeed.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Chepstow for the Welsh National, is it right, how many people said it?

Absolutely right.

Very, very well done indeed. That's a great score - 13.

-13 for Chepstow takes your total up to 22.

-Well played, Steve. Good team performance there.

-The first Welsh National at Chepstow was in 1949 and won by Dick Francis, the author/jockey.

-Hmm.

Now then, Frances... Frances, you're not the high scorers any more

because Steve and Lily currently are on 22. You're on 13,

which means, if you can score 8 or less, you are through to the head-to-head.

-OK...

-Is this good for you, Frances?

Hmm...

The last board was good for me. This board isn't.

I'm going to take a punt and I'm going to say the Dee Stakes...

Chester.

The Dee Stakes, Chester.

Is that right for the Dee Stakes? Let's find out.

It's right.

And you are through to the next round.

-APPLAUSE

-Wow!

Very, very well done indeed, Frances.

Everyone's just pretending. They all know damn well, don't they?

-They're all betters.

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

-It's a terrific answer, Frances.

Probably in the back of your mind, the River Dee goes through Chester.

The first race in Chester was 1539,

-sanctioned by the Lord Mayor there, Henry Gee, which is where we get "gee-gees" from.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-I thought it was because you said "gee up" to a horse.

-No.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, I'm certain.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-David, we are looking for the race courses that host these famous races. Is this good for you?

-No.

The two that I knew or was willing to guess on have gone.

I think the 1000 Guineas is Newmarket.

I'm not sure of the Eclipse. The Derby is obviously Epsom.

I've got a feeling... I'm going to go for it because I've got to get a low score.

I'll go for the St Leger. I think it's Doncaster.

The St Leger, Doncaster, says David. Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh!

David, bad luck. That scores you 19 and takes your total up to 25.

That was a terrific round from all six of you. Well played, everybody.

It's unfair that anyone has to leave. You were right about the 1000 Guineas, Newmarket,

and if you'd said that, you'd now be in the head-to-head because it only scored 10 points.

The Derby, as you say, is Epsom. That would have scored you 39.

-Do you know the Eclipse Stakes?

-No.

-Sandown.

Named after the horse Eclipse. 3 points.

Wow, what a brilliant, brilliant round! Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of that round, David and Ken, you end up being the high scorers, but it's so close -

21, 22, 25, and you knew an answer that would have got you through.

That was like a fabulous six-furlong race. Really good.

-You know what the problem is though?

-What?

-I bet on those guys.

-On David and Ken?

-Yeah, I just lost four grand.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, no.

-They looked good in the paddock earlier on.

-They did.

Just before the show, we get the contestants to wander round this little circle and we have a look.

-And have a little flutter.

-I said, "A straight four grand on the nose, Ken and David."

-Sorry.

-That's all right. Now I think about it, David actually looked a bit skittish in the ring.

Just a bit. Didn't he?

-Yeah.

-He was just gnawing at his bit occasionally.

-Sometimes that's a good sign.

-I know.

Thanks, David and Ken. You played brilliantly.

It seems very unfair that you leave on such a low score, but we have high hopes for you next time.

-Thanks very much for playing, David and Ken.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Lily and Steve, Frances and Theresa, you are now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which stands at £8,250.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

You're now going to go head-to-head and the first pair to win two questions will play for that money,

but the big news is you are now allowed to confer.

It's been a very good contest. Lily and Steve are our lowest scorers on aggregate, but it's pretty close.

I don't know who everyone was trying to kid when they said they knew nothing about racing.

Everybody knew all those answers there. Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Richard?

-We'll show you five images of famous people who have appeared on Bank of England banknotes.

Can you pick the most obscure? Good luck.

Let's reveal our famous people on banknotes and here they are. We have got...

There we are, five people who have appeared on Bank of England banknotes.

-Now then, Lily and Steve, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you go first.

-OK.

WHISPERING

Yes, we're going to go for E, Walpole.

E, Walpole.

Now then, Frances and Theresa, talk us through the board.

OK, um...

-B is Shakespeare?

-Looks like him.

-Yeah.

C is Florence Nightingale.

-Not sure of D.

-We don't know about D.

But I would...

-Are we going to go for A?

-Go for A.

We'll go for A. I think A is Elizabeth Fry.

You're going to say Elizabeth Fry for A.

So we have Walpole for E and Elizabeth Fry for A.

Lily and Steve said Walpole. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it if it is.

No.

Not Walpole, as it happens.

Now, Frances and Theresa, you only have to be right and you've said Elizabeth Fry for A.

Is it right?

It is right.

15 for Elizabeth Fry. Good answer.

-Most importantly, a right answer, so after one question, you're up 1-0. Richard?

-Very well played.

She's on the current £5 note. This is in May 2012, of course.

It's not Sir Robert Walpole.

It's the image that used to be on the £1 note before it was withdrawn in 1988 - Sir Isaac Newton.

It would have scored 11 points.

Such a familiar image we haven't seen for many years, the £1 note.

B is William Shakespeare, as you say. Used to be on the £20 note.

It would have scored you 54.

C is Florence Nightingale. You were right about that as well. She was on the £10 note until 1994.

Now, D, well done for two reasons if you know this is James Watt.

Firstly, because he's a pointless answer, so it's terrific,

and secondly, because he's on the current £50 note.

-So if that's how you knew it...

-Good going.

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Lily and Steve, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

-Egg dishes.

-Yeah, egg dishes.

-Yeah, egg dishes.

-I'll give you the names of five food items which have an egg as part of their ingredients,

but we've missed out alternate letters of their names. Can you fill in the blanks?

OK, let's reveal our five food items. Here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Frances and Theresa, you go first this time.

WHISPERING

Oh, yes, I know it. We'll go for the third one down. It's Scotch woodcock.

Scotch woodcock, say Frances and Theresa.

Now then, Lily and Steve, talk us through all the egg dishes that are still on the board.

We know all the rest, but I'm pretty sure that will win the point.

-We know frittata, kedgeree, omelette and meringue.

-OK, on you.

We'll say frittata because I do make a really nice frittata.

For that reason, you're going to go for frittata.

We have Scotch woodcock, we have frittata.

Frances and Theresa, if you win this one, you go straight through to the final.

Scotch woodcock, is it right, how many people said it?

It is right.

Wow!

I thought for a moment that was going to go all the way down, but that's a 1.

1 for Scotch woodcock, which means, Lily and Steve, only a pointless answer will beat it.

However good your frittata is,

will it go down that far?

Let's see, Lily and Steve, frittata, how many people said it?

Absolutely right.

35 for frittata.

APPLAUSE

Bad luck. Not much you could do in the face of Scotch woodcock,

so after two questions only, Frances and Theresa are through to the final 2-0.

As soon as you came up with Scotch woodcock there, the wind instantly went from Lily and Steve's sails.

Scotch woodcock is an anchovy paste on toast covered with scrambled eggs made with cream...

sort of thing.

Kedgeree, you're absolutely right. You gave us all the right answers, in fact, Lily.

That would have scored you 51. Omelette would have scored you 79.

And meringue was the best of the other answers.

It would have scored 28.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of the head-to-head, our losing pair,

I'm afraid, is Lily and Steve. You played so well throughout the show.

We will see you next time. If you find yourself at a loose end, we love frittata, don't we?

Yeah, and I also like new £50 notes as well.

Either of those. Sorry to say goodbye to you, but we'll see you again next time.

-Lily and Steve, great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for Frances and Theresa, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Frances and Theresa.

You've fought off all the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £8,250.

APPLAUSE

You've done so well, played it very nice and steady. You were the low scorers in our race course round.

That round, you must have thought all your dreams had come true, Theresa, as an ex-head chef.

-Yeah.

-Egg dishes.

-I like words as well and I like unscrambling... Unscrambling words!

-You see?

-If Frances hadn't said Scotch, I wouldn't have got it.

-So, teamwork?

-Yeah.

Proper teamwork. Very best of luck.

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers today. Find one now and you will go home with that money.

First, choose a category from these five options.

-Possibly Fiction?

-Hmm.

That'll probably be my main one.

Yeah, Bestselling Fiction, I think.

Yes, I think so. Bestselling Fiction.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many James Patterson novels as they could. Richard?

We want any full-length novel for which James Patterson has received a writing credit,

including in collaboration, up to the end of 2011. We're not looking for any manga or graphic novels.

-Very best of luck.

-You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £8,250 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-Have you read any?

-Along Came A Spider.

-Three Blind Mice.

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue?

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue.

-Kiss The Girls?

-Yeah, that'll be popular.

What was the name... Something about a cradle?

Um...

It's a nursery rhyme one like The Cradle Fell Down or something like that.

-Most of his are...

-They're nursery-rhymey. Three Blind Mice is quite good.

-Yeah.

That was a fairly obscure one.

I can't think of any others. Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue - was that the whole title

-or was there one Roses Are Red and one Violets Are Blue?

-No, I think it's the whole title.

So, Three Blind Mice and Roses Are Red. And what did you say for the first one?

-Um...

-Sorry.

-It's gone.

-Ten seconds.

-Along Came A Spider.

-Along Came A Spider.

-Popular...? We'll go for it.

-Yeah. Go for it?

-Yeah.

-You've got your three?

-We're not going to get any better than that.

Very well done indeed. Your time is now up. We were looking for James Patterson novels.

-I now need your three answers.

-We're going for Along Came A Spider,

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue and Three Blind Mice.

Which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Three Blind Mice.

-We'll put that last.

-Which is your least likely?

-Along Came A Spider.

-We'll put that first.

Let's pop those up on the board and here they are.

OK, we were looking for James Patterson novels.

Your first answer, Along Came A Spider, was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £8,250.

Along Came A Spider, let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how may people said it.

It is right.

OK, this is your first shot at that jackpot of £8,250.

Along Came A Spider, down it goes.

If this goes down to zero, you will leave here with that jackpot.

4.

APPLAUSE

4.

-I can't believe that.

-Unfortunately, that's not a pointless answer.

-No.

-You weren't expecting that to be pointless or to be as low as 4?

-No. It's a film as well.

-That's good.

-Yeah, that's a film, so...

-That's amazing.

OK, so you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot - £8,250.

-Frances, what would you do with that?

-What would I do with it?

I'd... I'd use part of it to renovate my MGF sports car.

I'm going to France in September, so I'd use part of it for that.

And the rest I would put towards my luxury dream kitchen.

Wow! Very good indeed. Theresa, how about you?

I've got a daughter who's 16.

She's wanting to go whale-watching and we've never taken her abroad yet, so that would be really nice.

OK, very best of luck. Let's hope one of your two remaining answers will win that jackpot for you.

We are looking for James Patterson novels. Let's hope nobody said Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue.

This has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot of £8,250.

Let's see. How many people said Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue?

Ohhh!

-Wow!

-Hmm.

That's a turn-up.

That's an incorrect answer. We will discover why shortly.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your last answer. We're looking for James Patterson novels.

Your most confident answer, the one most likely to win you that jackpot is Three Blind Mice.

It has to be right and pointless if you're going to win that £8,250.

Three Blind Mice, is it right, how many people said it?

-Oh!

-Oh!

-No.

-Perhaps it was longer.

-Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer.

-But you still get to take home our Pointless trophy, so very, very well done for that.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

I've seen some bad luck in this final round before now, but I think you have topped it.

Absolutely. It's not Three Blind Mice, it's Four Blind Mice.

-Oh!

-And it was a pointless answer.

-Oh, no!

See How They Run was also a pointless answer.

-I've read both.

-No!

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue are two separate novels.

-I said so.

-Both of which are pointless answers.

GROANS FROM AUDIENCE

They sometimes put Roses Are Red and Violets Are Blue together as an omnibus,

but they're two completely separate novels, I'm afraid.

You talked about some other nursery rhyme ones.

Cradle And All and Pop Goes The Weasel were pointless answers.

Let's take a look at a few more of them.

From the Women's Murder Club series, 10th Anniversary,

from the Alex Cross series, Cross,

and his first collaboration with Michael Ledwidge, Step On A Crack, were pointless answers.

The Dangerous Days Of Daniel X, the first one in that series,

The Lake House, The Quickie, which he also wrote with Michael Ledwidge.

The Thomas Berryman Number was the first novel James Patterson wrote.

31 publishers turned it down before he got it accepted and now look at him!

Violets Are Blue from the Alex Cross series and Worst Case as well, all of those are pointless answers.

-Have you ever seen anything quite that unlucky?

-No.

-That's the closest I've seen anybody...

-I'm so sorry.

-That's all right.

-That's the way it goes.

After I gave the answers, I said to Theresa, "I've just thought of another one." It was The Lake House.

-Just in case you weren't unlucky enough!

-Serves you right, doesn't it? Thank you ever so much though.

Frances and Theresa, we have to say goodbye, but you've been brilliant.

-Superb contestants. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

Sadly, Frances and Theresa didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over

to the next show when we'll be playing for £9,250.

-Join us next time to see if someone wins it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd