Episode 50 Pointless


Episode 50

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

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Welcome to Pointless, where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

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Well, first we welcome Ken and David. How do you know each other?

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We're in the same drama group. An amateur dramatic group in Burnley.

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-Very good. What do you do, Ken?

-I'm retired. I was a social worker.

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And aside from your acting, what do you like to get up to?

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I'm a season ticket holder for Burnley. I have been for 20 years.

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-And what did you do, David?

-I was a bank manager.

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-And how are you filling your retirement?

-I've got a narrowboat

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-and I'm doing an OU degree in History.

-So history is good, Burnley, in general, football...

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-Not necessarily football. Just Burnley.

-Just Burnley. Great to have you on the show.

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A warm welcome, Ken and David.

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Next we welcome back Judith and Alastair. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

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-Remind us how you know each other.

-He's my eldest son.

-And Alastair, Paris St Germain was your undoing.

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-It didn't go well.

-No, it didn't. Round One!

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-Yeah, I've got a lot of stick to go back to.

-And your mum did brilliantly.

-Thanks for that(!)

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-What do you hope comes up today?

-History, geography, perhaps.

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-OK.

-Something like that.

-Judith?

-I quite like science, I love travelling.

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-So that translates into geography, capital cities, airports.

-Mm.

-These sorts of things. Very good.

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-Anything you'd like not to come up?

-Although I go regularly to films,

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-remembering things I can't do. I can't remember.

-Same here.

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So that sort of thing. Or books, art and literature...

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It was Round One last time. I'm sure we'll see much more of you.

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Next we welcome Frances and Theresa. How do you two know each other?

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-I've worked with Frances for 10 years.

-Wow. And what do you do?

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-I'm a...civil servant.

-Oh. With a pause, though.

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-Which means "spy".

-Yeah.

-As we always know.

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-I can't believe we've got another spy!

-And you're a spy, too?

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-Obviously.

-Yes!

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-That's what spies are taught to say. Where are you from?

-Penzance in Cornwall.

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My favourite part of the world after Northumberland. What do you hope comes up?

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-I used to be a head chef, so food, I like science.

-Fantastic. How about you, Frances?

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-Em, geography, history.

-OK. A very warm welcome to you. Very, very best of luck.

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-And, finally, Lily and Steve. How do you know each other?

-You may see a slight resemblance.

-Hope not!

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-He's my dad!

-Lily, there's no moustache or beard.

-And a slightly smaller nose.

-Where are you from?

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-We're from Bristol.

-And what do you do, Steve?

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When I'm not cycling or running and I'm not cooking fantastic curries,

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-I'm a real forensic scientist.

-Wow. What area do you specialise in?

-All sorts, really,

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but death would sum it up.

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LAUGHTER And worse.

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Death and worse?! Oh, no...

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-Wow. Oh, lordy. Lily, what do you do?

-Well, I'm studying for an MSc in Ecology at the moment.

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-And what do you like to get up to?

-I love to sing. Given any audience, I will sing.

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-This will feed into a broad knowledge of music.

-I hope so.

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I'm not so bad on classical and most popular things.

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-Steve, what's your favourite category?

-Em, science, generally,

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but we've got a few specialist subjects like alpacas and pylons.

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Quite niche.

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-Good.

-I've got a good alpaca fact.

-Go on.

-Delicious!

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Mmm.

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Lovely.

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Lily and Steve, lovely to have you. We'll find out more about all of you as the show goes along.

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Only one person left to introduce. You're about to meet your obscurity nemesis.

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-It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya. Hiya.

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This is going to be lots of fun. What a lovely group of teams.

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Judith and Alastair we had last time. Alastair was absolutely gutted, I think.

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He got a football question wrong, his mum got it right... He's got something to prove.

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-If he goes out in Round One now...

-Oh!

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-Yeah. Big trouble for Alastair.

-Yeah.

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Round One. We have four lovely teams and Round One is a lovely question.

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Oh, is it? It's been a while since we had one of those.

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-A lovely question.

-A lovely question.

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Very good indeed. All our questions have been put to 100 people.

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To get to the final round and a chance of winning our jackpot, our contestants need obscure answers.

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The fewer of those 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points.

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Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that no one knew.

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Each time that happens, we'll add £250 to the jackpot. Nobody won it last time, so we add another £1,000

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and today's jackpot starts off at £8,250.

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Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

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The pair with the highest score are eliminated. OK, our category for Round One is...

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Comedians. Can you all decide who will go first and who goes second?

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And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

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OK, our question concerns... members of comedy groups.

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-Richard?

-In a moment, Xander will show you a board with six comedy groups or comedy troupes on it.

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Tell us any of the main members of any of those six groups, please.

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-Very best of luck.

-OK.

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Right, Ken and David, you all drew lots before the show and today you are going to go first.

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-Our six comedy groups are...

-HE READS THE LIST

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I'll read those one last time.

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-Now then, Ken.

-I'm going to go for The Goon Show

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-and say Michael Bentine.

-Michael Bentine, says Ken. Michael Bentine.

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How many of our 100 said that?

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It's right.

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Oh, that's a good answer.

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16. Very well done.

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Yes, Michael Bentine, The Goon Show. Back in the '60s in TV Centre, which is where we are now,

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he caused so much chaos they assumed anything that went wrong was him.

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There was a genuine armed robbery at the BBC cashiers

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and the guy ran out with a stocking over his head and the guard said, "Good afternoon, Mr Bentine."

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And saluted him on his way.

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Judith...

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I think I'm going to try and play safe, which might not be.

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-The Goodies - Tim Brooke-Taylor.

-Tim Brooke-Taylor, says Judith.

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Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

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Absolutely right.

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32.

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-32 for Tim Brooke-Taylor.

-Lovely Tim Brooke-Taylor.

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-His granddad played centre forward for England.

-Did he really?

-Yeah.

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-Ah. Frances?

-The Goon Show -

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Harry Secombe.

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Harry Secombe, says Frances. How many of our 100 said Harry Secombe?

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It's correct!

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35.

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-35 for Harry Secombe.

-Played Neddie Seagoon in The Goons.

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Now then, Lily. The most obscure member of one of these comedy troupes.

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OK, it was quite a good round, comedians. But I'm going to go for The League of Gentlemen

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and I'll say Steve Pemberton.

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Steve Pemberton. Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 said Steve Pemberton.

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Absolutely right.

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One for Steve Pemberton!

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That's a great answer, Lily.

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Very well done indeed.

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Terrific answer. Steve Pemberton. Also well known for Benidorm, Whitechapel and on this show.

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-Yeah. And Psychoville, of course.

-He's brilliant, Steve Pemberton, and a lovely fella.

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Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores. Lily and Steve looking very strong on one.

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Then we travel up to 16 where we find Ken and David.

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Then up to 32 for Judith and Alastair

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and just up a few more to 35 and Frances and Theresa.

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You are the high scorers. Not by much, but we need a low-scoring answer from you, Theresa.

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OK, we'll come back down the line. Can the second players take their place at the podium?

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OK, we are looking for main comedy performers in these comedy groups.

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Now then, Steve, the high scorers on 35 are Theresa and Frances. You are on one.

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-If you can score 33 or less, you will avoid becoming the high scorers.

-OK.

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-I'll take one from Monty Python and I'll go Terry Gilliam.

-Terry Gilliam, says Steve.

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Terry Gilliam. How many of our 100 people said Terry Gilliam?

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There is your red line. Below that, you are through to the next round.

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It's right.

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Very well done. 16 for Terry Gilliam.

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Takes your total up to 17.

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Very strong answer. The American Python who did all the animation.

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His first directing credit was Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

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Now then, Theresa, you're the high scorers so we need clever answering.

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-Is this a good round for you?

-Not really. I'll take a risk with The Goodies and Graeme Garden.

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No red line for you, Theresa, as you are the high scorers.

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Just get down as far as you can. Graeme Garden.

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It's correct.

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19.

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-19 for Graeme Garden takes your total up to 54.

-Yes, a good, solid answer.

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The nicest man in show business. Tim Brooke-Taylor's granddad played for England.

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Graeme Garden's son plays keyboards for The Scissor Sisters.

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-Really?

-He does, yeah.

-Brilliant. I had no idea.

-Yeah.

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Amazing.

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Alastair, you're on 32. If you can score 21 or less,

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you will avoid overtaking the high scorers, who are Theresa and Frances on 54.

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We are looking for the main performers in these comedy groups. This is where we redeem ourselves.

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-This is not a good round for me.

-No, this is where we redeem ourselves.

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I seem to remember someone in The Goon Show with the name Andrew Shovel, but I'll play safe

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and say Monty Python, Michael Palin, because I just can't think of anything else.

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Michael Palin, Monty Python. There is your red line.

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This is the line you have to get below. Michael Palin. Is it right? And how many people said it?

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It's right.

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38, Alastair.

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Takes your total up to 70.

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-Richard?

-A pretty big score. Maybe a fatally high score.

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The youngest of the Pythons, who went on to do lovely travelogues.

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Now, David, you're on 16. The high scorers are now Alastair and Judith On 70.

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If you can score 53 or less you are through to the next round.

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Talk us through the board if you like.

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I was going to say Terry Gilliam. I thought that was a good one.

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-I'll come down to The League of Gentlemen, Mark Gatiss.

-Mark Gatiss, says David.

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If you can get below that red line with Mark Gatiss, you are through. How many people said Mark Gatiss?

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Absolutely right.

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And you are through to the next round.

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Two! What a great score.

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-Two takes your total up to 18.

-That's a terrific answer.

-A great low score.

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-I'd hope Mark Gatiss would deserve more than that.

-He also created Sherlock along with Steven Moffat.

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He plays Mycroft in the Sherlock things.

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-And a brilliant writer, actor, performer.

-Brilliant man.

-Now there's only one pointless answer

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-and that's the non-performing member of League of Gentlemen.

-Ah!

-Wonderful writer...

-Jeremy Dyson.

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He was a pointless answer. Steve Pemberton one, Rob Newman one.

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From The Mary Whitehouse Experience. The other members were Hugh Dennis, Steve Punt and David Baddiel.

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They all scored two points. Reece Shearsmith scored four.

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The best answer in Three of a Kind, with Tracey Ullman and Lenny Henry, was David Copperfield, five points.

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Lenny Henry 10, Tracey Ullman 11.

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Terry Jones was the best Python. He scored 15 points.

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And Michael Bentine was the best of the Goons on 16. Let's look at the worst answers.

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Michael Palin, 38, was the third-highest answer of all.

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Bill Oddie, 43, from The Goodies. And who tops this one?

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-John Cleese.

-Absolutely right. And he would have scored 62 points.

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David Copperfield. When is there a limit to who has that name?

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-There about five famous Michael Jacksons.

-Three is the limit.

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You've got Dickens' David Copperfield, the magician and the TV guy.

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Mike Read is another one. Mike Read the DJ, Mike Reid from EastEnders and Mike Reid the golfer.

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And that was it. That door was shut. So three is the internationally-recognised limit.

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Fair enough. That's good.

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Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair with the highest score is Alastair and Judith again!

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-This wasn't meant to happen.

-This wasn't a good idea, coming on.

-No!

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-I'm joking!

-We had a ticker tape parade and everything planned for the last round.

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-We thought you'd get that jackpot.

-Yeah.

-Look on the bright side.

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-Your mum has done brilliantly.

-Yeah.

-Every cloud.

-She has been brilliant. Oh, Judith.

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They'll be putting the bunting up for your return. Not yours, Alastair.

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-You didn't do badly, Two good, correct answers, but they were high scorers.

-Mm-hm.

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It's been lovely having you. I'm sorry it's been so brief, but thank you so much for playing.

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But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

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Sadly, at the end of this round, another pair will be leaving us. I wonder which pair it will be.

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We had one returning pair and you're all completely new.

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You've kicked them off. So anything can happen from here on in. Very best of luck.

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Our category for Round Two is... horse racing.

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Horse racing. Can you all decide who's going to go first and who goes second?

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, our question concerns... horseraces and their racecourses.

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-Richard?

-On each pass we'll give you the name of six British horseraces.

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You need to give us the name of the racecourse on which they are run.

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An incorrect answer will score 100 points. A nice, obscure answer will get you fewer points.

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This is a category where some people will get all 12. For others, it will be damage limitation.

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OK, thanks very much. So we are looking for the UK racecourses that host these famous races.

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HE READS THE LIST

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I'll read them one last time.

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There we are. Six horseraces. You need to give me the name of the UK racecourse

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that hosts each of them. You want to pick one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Ken...

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I know one or two, but they're going to be high-scoring.

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So I'm going to really have a punt and say...

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The Sussex Stakes.

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-Goodwood.

-Goodwood. The Sussex Stakes, says Ken.

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Sounds reasonable to me. Is that right? How many people knew that?

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Absolutely right, Ken. Good guess, if it was a guess.

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Six!

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That's how you do it. Six for Goodwood.

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Great answer. The Sussex Stakes is the feature race at Glorious Goodwood, on the second day there.

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Frankel won it in 2011, the extraordinary racehorse.

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-They call it the world's most beautiful racecourse.

-Stunning.

-It's lovely.

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-Theresa. We're looking for any UK racecourse that hosts these races.

-Yes.

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Not a good subject for me, I'm afraid.

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I might have to make an educated guess. I'll go for The Oaks, Epsom.

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The Oaks, Epsom, says Theresa. Let's see if it's right and how many people knew that answer.

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It's right!

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13, Theresa!

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-That was very, very, very cleverly guessed.

-I don't think it was lucky. It was somewhere in your head.

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That's Pointless for you. It's arguably the top race for fillies in Europe, The Oaks.

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Now then, Lily, you can talk us through the board

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or at least do your reasoning out loud as you go down.

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Well, I'm not embarrassed to say this is a bad round for me. I'll just pick one I'm not sure of

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and pick a racecourse. So... between Champion Hurdle and Coronation Stakes.

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And I'm going to say... Champion Hurdle and Cheltenham.

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Champion Hurdle, Cheltenham, says Lily. Let's see if that's right

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and how many people knew that.

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-Absolutely right, Lily!

-What?! That's crazy.

-Amazing.

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Nine!

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-How extraordinary. Very well done indeed. Amazing. Brilliant.

-Very well done.

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The shortest and fastest race at the Cheltenham Festival.

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The Grand National is the most obvious. Aintree. 70 points.

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-Scottish Grand National. Do you know that one?

-I don't.

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It's Ayr. It would have scored 16. The Coronation Stakes?

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-Ascot.

-Absolutely right. Three points. Well done if you said that.

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Thanks, Richard. Let's look at those scores.

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Six is the best score so far. Ken and David looking pretty good.

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Then up to nine, Lily and Steve. Lily, you did brilliantly. Fantastic guess.

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And Theresa, fantastic guess. You're all still in the game,

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although, once again, Frances, you are the high scorers. So we need some clever answering.

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Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

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We'll put six more horse races on the board. Here they are.

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I'll read those all one last time.

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Remember, we are looking for the UK race courses that host these races

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and, Steve, you'll try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

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You're on 9. The high scorers on 13 are Frances and Theresa,

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so a score of 3 or less would stop you becoming our new high scorers.

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Yes, I think my daughter doth protest too much.

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I'll be looking through her bin when I get home for betting slips.

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LAUGHTER

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But I will go the Welsh Grand National at Chepstow.

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Chepstow, says Steve, for the Welsh National. Here is your red line, very low indeed.

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If you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

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Chepstow for the Welsh National, is it right, how many people said it?

0:22:360:22:40

Absolutely right.

0:22:400:22:42

Very, very well done indeed. That's a great score - 13.

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-13 for Chepstow takes your total up to 22.

-Well played, Steve. Good team performance there.

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-The first Welsh National at Chepstow was in 1949 and won by Dick Francis, the author/jockey.

-Hmm.

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Now then, Frances... Frances, you're not the high scorers any more

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because Steve and Lily currently are on 22. You're on 13,

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which means, if you can score 8 or less, you are through to the head-to-head.

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-OK...

-Is this good for you, Frances?

0:23:150:23:18

Hmm...

0:23:180:23:20

The last board was good for me. This board isn't.

0:23:200:23:23

I'm going to take a punt and I'm going to say the Dee Stakes...

0:23:230:23:28

Chester.

0:23:290:23:30

The Dee Stakes, Chester.

0:23:300:23:33

Is that right for the Dee Stakes? Let's find out.

0:23:330:23:38

It's right.

0:23:390:23:41

And you are through to the next round.

0:23:460:23:48

-APPLAUSE

-Wow!

0:23:480:23:51

Very, very well done indeed, Frances.

0:23:510:23:54

Everyone's just pretending. They all know damn well, don't they?

0:23:540:23:58

-They're all betters.

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

-It's a terrific answer, Frances.

0:23:580:24:03

Probably in the back of your mind, the River Dee goes through Chester.

0:24:030:24:08

The first race in Chester was 1539,

0:24:080:24:11

-sanctioned by the Lord Mayor there, Henry Gee, which is where we get "gee-gees" from.

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:24:110:24:17

-I thought it was because you said "gee up" to a horse.

-No.

-Are you sure?

0:24:170:24:22

-Yeah, I'm certain.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

0:24:220:24:26

-David, we are looking for the race courses that host these famous races. Is this good for you?

-No.

0:24:260:24:32

The two that I knew or was willing to guess on have gone.

0:24:320:24:36

I think the 1000 Guineas is Newmarket.

0:24:360:24:39

I'm not sure of the Eclipse. The Derby is obviously Epsom.

0:24:410:24:45

I've got a feeling... I'm going to go for it because I've got to get a low score.

0:24:470:24:52

I'll go for the St Leger. I think it's Doncaster.

0:24:520:24:55

The St Leger, Doncaster, says David. Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said it.

0:24:550:25:00

It's right.

0:25:010:25:03

Oh!

0:25:080:25:10

David, bad luck. That scores you 19 and takes your total up to 25.

0:25:100:25:15

That was a terrific round from all six of you. Well played, everybody.

0:25:180:25:22

It's unfair that anyone has to leave. You were right about the 1000 Guineas, Newmarket,

0:25:220:25:27

and if you'd said that, you'd now be in the head-to-head because it only scored 10 points.

0:25:270:25:32

The Derby, as you say, is Epsom. That would have scored you 39.

0:25:320:25:36

-Do you know the Eclipse Stakes?

-No.

-Sandown.

0:25:360:25:40

Named after the horse Eclipse. 3 points.

0:25:400:25:44

Wow, what a brilliant, brilliant round! Thanks very much, Richard.

0:25:440:25:48

At the end of that round, David and Ken, you end up being the high scorers, but it's so close -

0:25:480:25:54

21, 22, 25, and you knew an answer that would have got you through.

0:25:540:25:58

That was like a fabulous six-furlong race. Really good.

0:25:580:26:02

-You know what the problem is though?

-What?

-I bet on those guys.

0:26:020:26:07

-On David and Ken?

-Yeah, I just lost four grand.

0:26:070:26:11

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, no.

0:26:110:26:14

-They looked good in the paddock earlier on.

-They did.

0:26:140:26:17

Just before the show, we get the contestants to wander round this little circle and we have a look.

0:26:170:26:23

-And have a little flutter.

-I said, "A straight four grand on the nose, Ken and David."

0:26:230:26:28

-Sorry.

-That's all right. Now I think about it, David actually looked a bit skittish in the ring.

0:26:280:26:34

Just a bit. Didn't he?

0:26:340:26:36

-Yeah.

-He was just gnawing at his bit occasionally.

-Sometimes that's a good sign.

-I know.

0:26:360:26:42

Thanks, David and Ken. You played brilliantly.

0:26:420:26:45

It seems very unfair that you leave on such a low score, but we have high hopes for you next time.

0:26:450:26:50

-Thanks very much for playing, David and Ken.

-APPLAUSE

0:26:500:26:54

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

0:26:540:26:59

Congratulations, Lily and Steve, Frances and Theresa, you are now only one round away from the final

0:27:030:27:08

and a chance to play for our jackpot which stands at £8,250.

0:27:080:27:13

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:27:130:27:15

You're now going to go head-to-head and the first pair to win two questions will play for that money,

0:27:160:27:22

but the big news is you are now allowed to confer.

0:27:220:27:26

It's been a very good contest. Lily and Steve are our lowest scorers on aggregate, but it's pretty close.

0:27:260:27:32

I don't know who everyone was trying to kid when they said they knew nothing about racing.

0:27:320:27:37

Everybody knew all those answers there. Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:27:370:27:43

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

0:27:470:27:50

-Richard?

-We'll show you five images of famous people who have appeared on Bank of England banknotes.

0:27:540:28:00

Can you pick the most obscure? Good luck.

0:28:000:28:03

Let's reveal our famous people on banknotes and here they are. We have got...

0:28:030:28:08

There we are, five people who have appeared on Bank of England banknotes.

0:28:250:28:31

-Now then, Lily and Steve, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you go first.

-OK.

0:28:310:28:37

WHISPERING

0:28:370:28:39

Yes, we're going to go for E, Walpole.

0:28:430:28:46

E, Walpole.

0:28:460:28:49

Now then, Frances and Theresa, talk us through the board.

0:28:490:28:53

OK, um...

0:28:530:28:55

-B is Shakespeare?

-Looks like him.

-Yeah.

0:28:550:28:59

C is Florence Nightingale.

0:28:590:29:02

-Not sure of D.

-We don't know about D.

0:29:020:29:05

But I would...

0:29:050:29:07

-Are we going to go for A?

-Go for A.

0:29:070:29:10

We'll go for A. I think A is Elizabeth Fry.

0:29:100:29:14

You're going to say Elizabeth Fry for A.

0:29:140:29:16

So we have Walpole for E and Elizabeth Fry for A.

0:29:160:29:19

Lily and Steve said Walpole. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it if it is.

0:29:190:29:24

No.

0:29:260:29:28

Not Walpole, as it happens.

0:29:280:29:31

Now, Frances and Theresa, you only have to be right and you've said Elizabeth Fry for A.

0:29:310:29:36

Is it right?

0:29:360:29:38

It is right.

0:29:400:29:42

15 for Elizabeth Fry. Good answer.

0:29:470:29:49

-Most importantly, a right answer, so after one question, you're up 1-0. Richard?

-Very well played.

0:29:490:29:55

She's on the current £5 note. This is in May 2012, of course.

0:29:550:30:00

It's not Sir Robert Walpole.

0:30:000:30:02

It's the image that used to be on the £1 note before it was withdrawn in 1988 - Sir Isaac Newton.

0:30:020:30:08

It would have scored 11 points.

0:30:080:30:10

Such a familiar image we haven't seen for many years, the £1 note.

0:30:100:30:14

B is William Shakespeare, as you say. Used to be on the £20 note.

0:30:140:30:18

It would have scored you 54.

0:30:180:30:20

C is Florence Nightingale. You were right about that as well. She was on the £10 note until 1994.

0:30:200:30:26

Now, D, well done for two reasons if you know this is James Watt.

0:30:270:30:32

Firstly, because he's a pointless answer, so it's terrific,

0:30:320:30:36

and secondly, because he's on the current £50 note.

0:30:360:30:39

-So if that's how you knew it...

-Good going.

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:30:390:30:45

Lily and Steve, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

0:30:450:30:49

Best of luck. It concerns...

0:30:490:30:51

-Egg dishes.

-Yeah, egg dishes.

0:30:540:30:56

-Yeah, egg dishes.

-I'll give you the names of five food items which have an egg as part of their ingredients,

0:30:560:31:02

but we've missed out alternate letters of their names. Can you fill in the blanks?

0:31:020:31:07

OK, let's reveal our five food items. Here they are. We have got...

0:31:070:31:11

I'll read those all one last time.

0:31:250:31:27

Now then, Frances and Theresa, you go first this time.

0:31:410:31:46

WHISPERING

0:31:460:31:48

Oh, yes, I know it. We'll go for the third one down. It's Scotch woodcock.

0:31:530:31:58

Scotch woodcock, say Frances and Theresa.

0:31:580:32:01

Now then, Lily and Steve, talk us through all the egg dishes that are still on the board.

0:32:010:32:06

We know all the rest, but I'm pretty sure that will win the point.

0:32:060:32:10

-We know frittata, kedgeree, omelette and meringue.

-OK, on you.

0:32:100:32:14

We'll say frittata because I do make a really nice frittata.

0:32:140:32:19

For that reason, you're going to go for frittata.

0:32:190:32:22

We have Scotch woodcock, we have frittata.

0:32:220:32:25

Frances and Theresa, if you win this one, you go straight through to the final.

0:32:250:32:30

Scotch woodcock, is it right, how many people said it?

0:32:300:32:34

It is right.

0:32:350:32:37

Wow!

0:32:440:32:45

I thought for a moment that was going to go all the way down, but that's a 1.

0:32:450:32:50

1 for Scotch woodcock, which means, Lily and Steve, only a pointless answer will beat it.

0:32:500:32:55

However good your frittata is,

0:32:550:32:58

will it go down that far?

0:32:580:33:01

Let's see, Lily and Steve, frittata, how many people said it?

0:33:010:33:05

Absolutely right.

0:33:060:33:08

35 for frittata.

0:33:110:33:13

APPLAUSE

0:33:130:33:15

Bad luck. Not much you could do in the face of Scotch woodcock,

0:33:150:33:19

so after two questions only, Frances and Theresa are through to the final 2-0.

0:33:190:33:24

As soon as you came up with Scotch woodcock there, the wind instantly went from Lily and Steve's sails.

0:33:240:33:30

Scotch woodcock is an anchovy paste on toast covered with scrambled eggs made with cream...

0:33:300:33:36

sort of thing.

0:33:360:33:38

Kedgeree, you're absolutely right. You gave us all the right answers, in fact, Lily.

0:33:380:33:43

That would have scored you 51. Omelette would have scored you 79.

0:33:430:33:47

And meringue was the best of the other answers.

0:33:470:33:50

It would have scored 28.

0:33:500:33:52

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of the head-to-head, our losing pair,

0:33:520:33:57

I'm afraid, is Lily and Steve. You played so well throughout the show.

0:33:570:34:02

We will see you next time. If you find yourself at a loose end, we love frittata, don't we?

0:34:020:34:08

Yeah, and I also like new £50 notes as well.

0:34:080:34:11

Either of those. Sorry to say goodbye to you, but we'll see you again next time.

0:34:110:34:16

-Lily and Steve, great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

0:34:160:34:19

But for Frances and Theresa, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:190:34:24

Congratulations, Frances and Theresa.

0:34:280:34:31

You've fought off all the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:310:34:37

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

0:34:410:34:44

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £8,250.

0:34:440:34:47

APPLAUSE

0:34:470:34:50

You've done so well, played it very nice and steady. You were the low scorers in our race course round.

0:34:510:34:57

That round, you must have thought all your dreams had come true, Theresa, as an ex-head chef.

0:34:570:35:03

-Yeah.

-Egg dishes.

-I like words as well and I like unscrambling... Unscrambling words!

0:35:030:35:08

-You see?

-If Frances hadn't said Scotch, I wouldn't have got it.

-So, teamwork?

-Yeah.

0:35:080:35:13

Proper teamwork. Very best of luck.

0:35:130:35:15

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

0:35:150:35:19

We haven't had any pointless answers today. Find one now and you will go home with that money.

0:35:190:35:25

First, choose a category from these five options.

0:35:250:35:28

-Possibly Fiction?

-Hmm.

0:35:360:35:38

That'll probably be my main one.

0:35:380:35:41

Yeah, Bestselling Fiction, I think.

0:35:420:35:45

Yes, I think so. Bestselling Fiction.

0:35:450:35:48

Let's find out what the question is.

0:35:480:35:51

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:35:510:35:53

to name as many James Patterson novels as they could. Richard?

0:35:530:35:59

We want any full-length novel for which James Patterson has received a writing credit,

0:35:590:36:04

including in collaboration, up to the end of 2011. We're not looking for any manga or graphic novels.

0:36:040:36:09

-Very best of luck.

-You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:36:090:36:14

All you need to win that £8,250 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:140:36:18

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

0:36:180:36:22

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:36:220:36:25

-Have you read any?

-Along Came A Spider.

-Three Blind Mice.

0:36:250:36:29

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue?

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue.

0:36:290:36:33

-Kiss The Girls?

-Yeah, that'll be popular.

0:36:330:36:36

What was the name... Something about a cradle?

0:36:360:36:39

Um...

0:36:400:36:41

It's a nursery rhyme one like The Cradle Fell Down or something like that.

0:36:410:36:46

-Most of his are...

-They're nursery-rhymey. Three Blind Mice is quite good.

-Yeah.

0:36:460:36:52

That was a fairly obscure one.

0:36:520:36:55

I can't think of any others. Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue - was that the whole title

0:36:550:37:00

-or was there one Roses Are Red and one Violets Are Blue?

-No, I think it's the whole title.

0:37:000:37:06

So, Three Blind Mice and Roses Are Red. And what did you say for the first one?

0:37:060:37:10

-Um...

-Sorry.

0:37:100:37:13

-It's gone.

-Ten seconds.

-Along Came A Spider.

-Along Came A Spider.

0:37:130:37:17

-Popular...? We'll go for it.

-Yeah. Go for it?

-Yeah.

0:37:170:37:20

-You've got your three?

-We're not going to get any better than that.

0:37:200:37:24

Very well done indeed. Your time is now up. We were looking for James Patterson novels.

0:37:240:37:29

-I now need your three answers.

-We're going for Along Came A Spider,

0:37:290:37:33

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue and Three Blind Mice.

0:37:330:37:37

Which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:37:370:37:40

-Three Blind Mice.

-We'll put that last.

0:37:400:37:43

-Which is your least likely?

-Along Came A Spider.

-We'll put that first.

0:37:430:37:47

Let's pop those up on the board and here they are.

0:37:470:37:50

OK, we were looking for James Patterson novels.

0:37:550:37:59

Your first answer, Along Came A Spider, was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

0:37:590:38:05

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £8,250.

0:38:050:38:11

Along Came A Spider, let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how may people said it.

0:38:110:38:16

It is right.

0:38:160:38:18

OK, this is your first shot at that jackpot of £8,250.

0:38:180:38:22

Along Came A Spider, down it goes.

0:38:220:38:24

If this goes down to zero, you will leave here with that jackpot.

0:38:240:38:28

4.

0:38:280:38:29

APPLAUSE

0:38:290:38:31

4.

0:38:310:38:34

-I can't believe that.

-Unfortunately, that's not a pointless answer.

-No.

0:38:340:38:39

-You weren't expecting that to be pointless or to be as low as 4?

-No. It's a film as well.

0:38:390:38:44

-That's good.

-Yeah, that's a film, so...

-That's amazing.

0:38:440:38:48

OK, so you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot - £8,250.

0:38:480:38:54

-Frances, what would you do with that?

-What would I do with it?

0:38:540:38:58

I'd... I'd use part of it to renovate my MGF sports car.

0:38:580:39:03

I'm going to France in September, so I'd use part of it for that.

0:39:030:39:07

And the rest I would put towards my luxury dream kitchen.

0:39:070:39:12

Wow! Very good indeed. Theresa, how about you?

0:39:120:39:16

I've got a daughter who's 16.

0:39:160:39:19

She's wanting to go whale-watching and we've never taken her abroad yet, so that would be really nice.

0:39:190:39:25

OK, very best of luck. Let's hope one of your two remaining answers will win that jackpot for you.

0:39:250:39:31

We are looking for James Patterson novels. Let's hope nobody said Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue.

0:39:310:39:37

This has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot of £8,250.

0:39:370:39:40

Let's see. How many people said Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue?

0:39:400:39:44

Ohhh!

0:39:490:39:52

-Wow!

-Hmm.

0:39:520:39:54

That's a turn-up.

0:39:540:39:57

That's an incorrect answer. We will discover why shortly.

0:39:570:40:00

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:40:000:40:04

Everything is now riding on your last answer. We're looking for James Patterson novels.

0:40:040:40:09

Your most confident answer, the one most likely to win you that jackpot is Three Blind Mice.

0:40:090:40:14

It has to be right and pointless if you're going to win that £8,250.

0:40:140:40:18

Three Blind Mice, is it right, how many people said it?

0:40:180:40:22

-Oh!

-Oh!

0:40:240:40:26

-No.

-Perhaps it was longer.

-Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer.

0:40:260:40:32

-But you still get to take home our Pointless trophy, so very, very well done for that.

-Thank you.

0:40:320:40:37

APPLAUSE

0:40:370:40:40

I've seen some bad luck in this final round before now, but I think you have topped it.

0:40:430:40:49

Absolutely. It's not Three Blind Mice, it's Four Blind Mice.

0:40:490:40:53

-Oh!

-And it was a pointless answer.

-Oh, no!

0:40:530:40:57

See How They Run was also a pointless answer.

0:40:570:41:00

-I've read both.

-No!

-Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue are two separate novels.

0:41:000:41:05

-I said so.

-Both of which are pointless answers.

0:41:050:41:08

GROANS FROM AUDIENCE

0:41:080:41:10

They sometimes put Roses Are Red and Violets Are Blue together as an omnibus,

0:41:100:41:15

but they're two completely separate novels, I'm afraid.

0:41:150:41:18

You talked about some other nursery rhyme ones.

0:41:180:41:21

Cradle And All and Pop Goes The Weasel were pointless answers.

0:41:210:41:25

Let's take a look at a few more of them.

0:41:250:41:28

From the Women's Murder Club series, 10th Anniversary,

0:41:280:41:32

from the Alex Cross series, Cross,

0:41:320:41:34

and his first collaboration with Michael Ledwidge, Step On A Crack, were pointless answers.

0:41:340:41:39

The Dangerous Days Of Daniel X, the first one in that series,

0:41:390:41:43

The Lake House, The Quickie, which he also wrote with Michael Ledwidge.

0:41:430:41:47

The Thomas Berryman Number was the first novel James Patterson wrote.

0:41:470:41:51

31 publishers turned it down before he got it accepted and now look at him!

0:41:510:41:55

Violets Are Blue from the Alex Cross series and Worst Case as well, all of those are pointless answers.

0:41:550:42:01

-Have you ever seen anything quite that unlucky?

-No.

-That's the closest I've seen anybody...

0:42:010:42:07

-I'm so sorry.

-That's all right.

-That's the way it goes.

0:42:070:42:10

After I gave the answers, I said to Theresa, "I've just thought of another one." It was The Lake House.

0:42:100:42:16

-Just in case you weren't unlucky enough!

-Serves you right, doesn't it? Thank you ever so much though.

0:42:170:42:23

Frances and Theresa, we have to say goodbye, but you've been brilliant.

0:42:230:42:27

-Superb contestants. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

0:42:270:42:31

Sadly, Frances and Theresa didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over

0:42:340:42:38

to the next show when we'll be playing for £9,250.

0:42:380:42:41

-Join us next time to see if someone wins it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me.

0:42:430:42:49

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0:43:120:43:15

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