Episode 27 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless,

the quiz where the aim is to score as few points as you can.

To do that, you need to come up with the answers no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

Couple number one.

All right, Xander? I'm Ian. This is my daughter Jenny.

We're from Dartford.

Hello, Xander and Richard.

I'm Paul and this is my friend Alex and we're from Peterborough.

Couple number three.

Hello, Alexander. My name's Jamie and this is Morgan.

We're a couple from Cardiff.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Gillian. This is my friend Sarah,

and we're from County Durham.

And these are today's contestants.

CHEERING

Thanks to all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's a man who's so close to me, we always finish one another's...

Helicopters?

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Yes.

-You put me on the spot there!

-I did! Sorry.

That's OK. Quite a nerve-wracking way to start the show for me.

Gets the old ticker going.

And just to continue the fun, I've changed the end round slightly.

The end round is slightly different. Slightly more choice in the end round.

It's not a revolution,

but it's slightly different.

So one pair here's going to be the first pair ever

to play the slightly new end round.

I can't wait. Fantastic. Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Adam and Clare won the jackpot last time, so today's jackpot starts back at £1,000.

So, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this round, I'll take an answer from each of you, but there is, of course, no conferring.

At the end, whichever pair has the highest score

will be heading home.

Our first category today is...

Languages. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

French names for countries. Richard.

On each pass, we'll show you seven French names for different countries.

You just have to tell us the English name of those countries.

14 in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.

OK. So we are looking for the English names of these countries.

And our first board reads like this. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Ian and Jenny, we drew lots before the show

and today, you're going first. Jenny...

-You do a radio show on Burn FM.

-Yeah! Nice you remembered.

I do remember that. Tell us a bit more.

It's called Focus Birmingham, because I go to the University of Birmingham.

And we enlighten our listeners on the ins and outs of the city.

Right you are. OK, how's your French?

Er...!

My mother's a French teacher.

So this is going to be interesting!

Yeah. Um...OK.

Dad's going to want me to do the absolute copper bottom and get it right,

so I'll go Espagne - Spain.

Spain, says Jenny.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Spain.

Well, it's copper-bottomed, I'll give you that!

95, Jenny.

95 for Spain.

Spain, absolutely. Comes from... Spain and Espagne both come from Hispania,

which was the Roman name for the area.

Alex.

Welcome back to the show.

-Thank you.

-We discovered last time that you are a support worker.

Tell us something else about Alex.

Well, back in the '70s,

I used to run home from school

and play the Space Invaders machine at the arcade.

And one day there was a big competition on

at the local big place where I lived.

Anyway, they said, "Really well done. You're going to go on telly

"and talk about it."

But when I got there,

the conversation was about the negativity of the Space Invaders.

-You were there to demonstrate the down side of children playing Space Invaders?

-Yes.

You know - saying how well I did!

Alex, here is your chance to prove them wrong.

Dazzle us with your French.

Well...my French teacher at school said, "Alex, I can quite honestly say

"you're the worst pupil I've ever taught at French."

I'm even worse now than I was then.

And the only one I can think...

have a stab at, is Maroc,

and all I can think of is Morocco.

-Morocco, says Alex.

-That's all I can think of.

Let's see if it's right. Morocco. How many people said Morocco?

It's right.

43.

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, Alex. 43 for Morocco.

-That'll be a proud moment for your former French teacher, I suspect.

-It will.

Yeah, Morocco. Used to be a French protectorate, and they still speak a lot of French over there,

in lots of official documents, but not an official language.

So, Jamie, where are you from?

-Just outside Cardiff.

-What do you do, Jamie?

I work for my local council in the housing department.

And what do you like getting up to when you're not doing that, Jamie?

Pretty much going to the cinema, watching the rugby.

Good stuff. How's your French?

Not great.

I did do French in school, but that was a long time ago.

The only one I knew was Espagne, so...

But I'm going to go for Pologne and Poland.

Pologne and Poland, says Jamie.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Poland.

It's right.

66.

Some big scores in this round, aren't there? But it's a lot better than 100 and a lot better than 95 too.

OK, Sarah, welcome.

From County Durham. What do you do, Sarah?

I have two jobs at the moment. I work at a hotel, in the food and beverage department,

and I'm also a maths and English tutor.

Wow! As if they didn't keep you busy enough doing food and beverages.

So talk us through your perfect day, Sarah.

My perfect day doesn't sound very girly at all.

I'm a big Sunderland fan,

so my perfect day would start on a Saturday with Soccer AM,

then Soccer Saturday...

go to the match, watch the early evening game,

and then Match Of The Day.

So pretty much football all day on a Saturday.

All that's missing is Fighting Talk on 5 Live.

-I don't often listen to it.

-You should.

-Richard Osman is a regular pundit on Fighting Talk.

-Sometimes.

-I'll have to tune in.

-A lot of anti-Sunderland stuff on there.

Oh, I don't know! Maybe I won't, then.

-Maybe you could go on it and defend them.

-Good luck!

LAUGHTER

Sarah, how's your French?

Not very good at all.

I haven't done French since the first few years of secondary school.

So it's not very good.

I guess Liban might be Libya,

but I think I'm going to go for Maurice and say Mauritius.

Maurice - Mauritius, says Sarah.

Let's see if Mauritius is right and let's see how many of our 100 said Mauritius.

It's right.

43 is our lowest score and you've gone steaming past that.

Down to 15. Very well done, Sarah.

Maurice - Mauritius.

Lowest score of the pass. Richard.

That's very well played.

Named after Prince Maurice of Nassau by the Dutch.

15 points.

Now, the top one...

Anybody who's ever watched Eurovision

will get that one.

The phrase "Royaume-Uni, un point" is, er...

-Well, on a good day!

-..is embedded in our consciousness.

It's the United Kingdom.

Royaume-Uni.

37 points.

Now, I took forever with Saint-Marin.

I couldn't think of it at all.

I kept thinking... I thought it said St Martin,

-and Saint-Marin - just put an O on the end.

-Yes!

-San Marino.

-There you go.

Would have scored you 13 points.

The best answer on the board, though, is Liban.

It's Lebanon.

-Oh!

-That would have scored you 7 points. Best answer up there.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

15, Sarah. Did you know

-it was going to go that low?

-No!

-There you are. Very well done.

15, lovely low score.

So, yes, Sarah and Gillian

looking very strong at this stage. Up to 43,

where we find Alex and Paul.

Up to 66, Jamie and Morgan,

then up to 95, Jenny - daughter of a French teacher - and Ian.

So, yes, Ian - husband of a French teacher -

we'll need a really good reply from you.

Nice low score, and we'll have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

Let's put seven more countries on the board.

-And here they come.

-We have got...

HE READS THEM IN AN EXAGGERATED FRENCH ACCENT

How much fun am I having with this?!

I'll read those as many more times as you like.

LAUGHTER

We're looking for the English names of those countries

and you'll try to find the one fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Gillian. What a brilliant start from Sarah there.

-Yes.

What a fantastic start - 15.

Listen, if you can score 79 or less, you're in the next round.

-OK.

-Now, Gillian, tell us what you do.

I'm doing my Masters in journalism at the minute.

-Are you?

-Mm-hm.

-How's that going?

Really well. It's really fun. It's so much fun.

What kind of journalism do you want to go into?

The dream, the dream...

is to read the news.

That's the dream.

That IS a dream. I tell you what,

we could just stay on the show,

and just keep going, and when it gets to six,

-you could just read in the headlines.

-Yeah!

I read the news every day.

-It's not hard.

-It's easy.

Yeah, but Gillian is a newscaster, a news...

-Ah! So, reading it on TV in front of people. I see what you mean.

-Yeah.

And actually, though, nice...

It's quite rare that you have people who have done their Masters in journalism going into newsreading.

-That's quite rare.

-I don't really know that you can just apply.

I think you kind of have to be selected, don't you? Isn't it difficult?

Consider this a selection, Gillian.

Can you say, "Britain enters a quadruple dip recession"?

Britain enters a quadruple dip recession.

-Oh, that's good.

-That is good.

-That's bad news.

-Did you hear that?

-What the newsreader just said?

-Yeah.

Stop it!

No, that's good. You have an air of authority about you.

Yeah.

I've practised.

How's your French, Gillian?

Not necessarily to do with this, just in general,

as part of your application.

My under-grad is in French.

-Oh, is it?

-I have a degree in French and German.

Ah!

-OK.

-But I don't know them all!

I should, but, um...

I'm just trying to decide which is going to be...

-The lowest possible score?

-Yeah.

OK. I'm going to say Pays-Bas

is the Netherlands.

Pay-Bas - the Netherlands. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it. There's your red line. Below that, you're in Round Two.

It's right.

You're through to Round Two. Very well done.

26 for the Pays-Bas.

41's your total.

Well played, Gillian. Yeah, Pays-Bas. It translates as the low countries.

It's another one we know from Eurovision...from the olden days.

Now then, Morgan.

Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Also from Cardiff.

-Yep.

-Are you a rugby player?

-I am a rugby player.

Something about you says "rugby player".

What do you do?

I'm a securitisation assistant for a large bank.

A securitisation assistant?

What does that mean?

Securitisation is the selling of future cash flows.

-Wow! And in your spare time...

-Rugby.

-Rugby?

-Lots of rugby.

-Yeah.

Morgan, what's the stupidest thing you've ever done in your life?

Well, the stupidest thing I was willing to put on the application form

was eating a number six candle.

Yeah. A big one?

It was about that big.

Shaped like a number six, for a bet.

-Did you have to eat the wick as well?

-Yes.

What shall we bet Morgan to do by the end of the show?

A rugby player will literally do anything.

Yeah! Now then, Morgan, how's your French?

I haven't done French since school, so not that great.

OK. You're on 66.

The high scorers are still Ian and Jenny on 95.

28 or less

keeps you in the game.

Allemagne sounds familiar,

but I can't remember what it was.

I'm going to have to take a guess at Chypre

and say Cyprus.

Cyprus, says Morgan. Cyprus.

Here comes your red line. Below that, you're in the next round.

How many of our 100 said Cyprus for Chypre?

56 for Cyprus.

Takes your total up to 122.

Chypre, cinquante-six points.

That's what I would do if I was the Eurovision guy.

Now then, Paul.

-Hello.

-Paul, welcome back.

-And Millie 2.

-And Millie 2.

-We discovered last time that you have just become a grandfather for the first time.

-Yes.

-Of little Millie, who's a week old.

-One week old.

-Can't be with us, so I brought...

-To be honest, at what age would you have considered bringing Millie?

LAUGHTER

-Two weeks.

-Two weeks?

-Two weeks, she'd have had to come.

-Really?

Well, what a shame/blessed relief.

Always nice to have a newborn in the studio,

but I think to have a representative in the shape of Mille 2,

who you're wearing in your pocket...

Very good. Now, Paul...

So we're looking for the English names of these countries in French.

French, yes - the other side of the Channel.

And that's about as much as I know about France.

I knew one for definite.

Unfortunately, it's just been stolen - Cyprus.

So I'll have to go for the only other one I know.

I only know that because I looked in the mirror

and decided that Etats-Unis

is United States.

-In the mirror?

-Etats - state.

Ah!

Oh, good!

Very good.

There we are. OK.

I thought it was just something in the paper.

LAUGHTER

Now then, here comes your red line, Paul.

78 is what you want to be scoring, 78 or less.

Let's see if that is the United States, and if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

49. Very well done. You're through to the next round.

92 is your total.

Very well played.

Les Etats-Unis.

There are certain towns in Maine in America

where French is the most widely spoken language.

Ian.

-Welcome back to the show.

-Thank you.

Remind us what happened last time, Ian.

Well, Jenny here kind of thought the Beatles were a '60s band

and didn't exist at all in the '70s

and plumped for them and scored 100...

which left us in a sticky wicket.

But in fairness, my answer wouldn't have got us in even if she'd got the Beatles right, so it didn't matter.

OK, well, you've got a little bit of a challenge here.

26 or less is what you have to score, or we say goodbye to you.

How's your French, Ian?

Pauvais.

Mauvais, that should be.

Pauvais?

I'll take your first answer.

The board is all yours. Why not take us through it

and fill in all the gaps?

As people often say...if only. Allemagne is Germany.

Erythree, I want to say... might be Eritrea,

but I just don't even know if that's a country or just a place.

Lettonie...

I cannot think.

Suede is Sweden.

I'm not sure if any of them are going to be enough,

but I'm going to say Suede,

-and be annoyed if Eritrea turns out to be a country. Suede.

-OK.

Sweden. Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Here comes your red line.

64, Ian. Bad luck.

I'm afraid that takes your total up to 159.

Yeah, sorry, Ian. It is Sweden.

You know what,

you're really, really, really at that stage of the game,

should have taken a risk.

And Eritrea absolutely is a country,

and the French call it Erythree.

It would have scored you 11 points.

Allemagne, you were right as well, is Germany,

but would have scored you too many points. Right to avoid it. 67.

The best answer on the board there is Lettonie.

Very, very well done, anyone at home who said Latvia

for Lettonie. That's a very tough one. 5 points.

-5!

-Five out of 100 people really know their French.

Does that ring a bell, Gillian - Lettonie?

I wouldn't have said Latvia, so it's a good job I didn't.

OK, well, thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round, our losing pair,

heading home with a score of 159, I'm afraid it's Ian and Jenny.

-It was Round One last time.

-Yes!

And this time. Well, you're consistent,

I'll give you that. I'll praise that.

I'm really sorry. It's been great having you on the show.

It's far too soon to be sending you home. Best of luck with Burn FM.

-Thank you very much.

-Great to have you on the show, and I'm sorry it's goodbye so soon.

Thanks very much, Ian and Jenny.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

OK, so we are now down to three pairs.

We'll be saying goodbye to another pair at the end of this round.

Gillian, Sarah, our lowest scorers by a mile in that round.

And Sarah, you didn't even study French!

-No.

-And you got the lowest score.

Lucky guess, I think.

Very well thought through.

If Ian had done that, he'd still be here,

with his Eritrea.

Anyway, there we are. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Film. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Actors in Skyfall.

Richard.

We're looking for the name of any actor or actress

who received an acting credit in the 2012 film Skyfall, please.

That's according to IMDb.

So anyone who had an acting credit in Skyfall. Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then,

Paul, first crucial question - have you seen Skyfall?

I have a fantastic answer - no.

For two reasons, you should have.

I can think of one very good reason - that's I'm here now.

That's one of mine too.

I'll call on Millie 2...

-OK.

-..to help me.

Has Millie 2 seen it?

She says she hasn't seen it, but she has heard a rumour that Daniel Craig is in it.

OK. You're going to go for Daniel Craig?

Little-known actor.

Let's see if that's correct.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Daniel Craig.

He's in it.

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

74. Not bad. A lot better than 100.

Didn't know any others, she said.

Fair enough.

Well, Millie 2 is rubbish at Pointless.

Yeah, Daniel Craig - his third outing as Bond.

He's just signed up for two more as well.

Good stuff. Now, Morgan.

-Morgan, you've seen Skyfall.

-I have seen Skyfall.

This is going to make it a lot easier.

I think I'm going to go for...

plays the gamekeeper - Albert Finnie.

Albert Finnie, says Morgan.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Albert Finnie.

9. Very well played, Morgan.

Good answer, Morgan. Yeah, plays the gamekeeper Kincade.

He's got the best line in the film - "Welcome to Scotland".

But he's not Scottish.

I thought that was weird.

-You think?

-Well, yeah.

We're so used to people playing...

-characters from other countries, aren't we?

-Well, yes, we are.

It just seemed weird.

-Good line, though.

-It's a cracking line.

He's got a Scottish name - Kincade.

Oh, so you're saying...

-I can't remember - does he do it in a Scottish accent?

-No.

No, he's sort of English.

English, yeah.

Disappointing.

Gillian.

-OK.

-Gillian, Skyfall.

Actors or actresses.

Right. Um...

My pronunciation might be wrong, but I think it's Berenice Marlohe?

Berenice Marlohe, says Gillian.

Berenice Marlohe.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said Berenice Marlohe.

It's right.

9 is our lowest score so far.

3 is what you get for Berenice Marlohe.

Very well done indeed.

Well remembered, Gillian.

-That's a terrific answer, Gillian. Gillian's good, isn't she?

-Very good.

She plays Severine.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

3 our best score of that pass - Gillian and Sarah

once again looking very strong

at this stage of the game. Up to 9,

where we find Morgan and Jamie,

then I'm afraid it's a long hike up to 74,

where we find Paul and Alex.

Alex, have you seen Skyfall?

-No, I haven't, Alexander.

-Good.

LAUGHTER

Well, very best of luck with that answer.

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK. So, Sarah, we are looking for actors or actresses

in Skyfall.

-OK.

-You've seen it, haven't you?

Yeah. I saw it in IMAX. It was amazing.

Amazing.

Um...I'm a bit unsure whether to play safe,

because Gillian did so well,

or go for one that I think's right, but...

If you can score 70 or less, you're through to the head-to-head.

Um...

Argh!

I'm going to go with Ralph Fiennes.

OK, Ralph Fiennes.

There is your red line. Let's see if you can get below that

with Ralph Fiennes.

It's right.

And you are through to the next round.

Very well done.

11.

Wow.

11 for Ralph Fiennes. Takes your total to 14.

Well played, Sarah. Ralph Fiennes plays Gareth Mallory,

who has a very important role in the film. I won't say what,

in case people haven't seen it.

Jamie, have you seen Skyfall?

-Yeah.

-You have.

Now, all you need to score is 64 or less.

There's two I'm tossing up between...

It's just if I get the surname right.

Think I'm going to go for Ben Whishaw.

Ben Whishaw.

Ben Whishaw, says Jamie. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

How many people said Ben Whishaw?

It's absolutely right, and you are through.

Look at that - 5! Very well done, Jamie.

That's a great answer.

Also taking you to a total of 14.

Good answer, Jamie. Ben Whishaw plays Q, of course.

Now then, Alex.

Now then, I'm afraid to say...

These guys have just scored so low. 14 for each of them.

And that's a total.

And I'm afraid you're on 74 and you haven't even answered yet.

So you probably don't need me to tell you

I'm afraid you are already our high scorers.

-You haven't seen the film.

-No, I haven't at all.

Big mistake! You should - it's good.

I've seen all the posters for it...

-It's not quite the same.

-No.

Is Sean Connery in it?

LAUGHTER

I'm so glad you laughed.

Alex, what are you going to go for?

Well, it's a guess. She was in the other two,

so I'm going to go for Dame Judi Dench.

-Judi Dench, says Alex.

-Good old Judi.

No red line for you, as you are already the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Judi Dench.

It's right.

50.

50 takes your total to 124.

Yes, Dame Judi Dench's seventh time playing M.

Her house in the film

is John Barry the Bond composer's house.

A few answers you could have given - people at home might have got.

Javier Bardem would have scored you 12.

Naomie Harris would have scored you 9.

Roy Kinnear would have scored you 4 points.

Helen McCrory, 3 points.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Burt Caesar, Elize du Toit, who used to be in Hollyoaks.

Gordon Milne plays M's driver.

Huw Edwards plays BBC news anchor.

-He's very convincing.

-Yeah.

I've seen more convincing people doing that, though.

Oh, yeah.

She'd be terrific in Skyfall 2.

She's in the next programme after this.

Do you think it'll be Huw today? Might be George Alagiah.

Sometimes it's Sophie Raworth as well, isn't it?

Occasionally. Sometimes George goes off to some, some...

I don't know, some hot spot.

Hang on!

To present the news live from somewhere as it's happening.

I'm not saying he goes off on some holiday!

-Or some terrible...

-I thought he was going clubbing somewhere.

Oh, I see! No, no, no.

Jo Cameron Brown,

whose surname is both the last two Prime Ministers,

which is quite something. Oliver Johnstone.

Paul Venables...

You know what...

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Go on, Richard.

There's so many pointless answers,

yet you have to put that one...

Tonia Sotiropoulou was a pointless answer

and another news anchor, a CNN news anchor,

Wolf Blitzer, also in the film, also a pointless answer.

Well done if you said any of those.

-Wolf Blitzer!

-It's a good name, isn't it?

-It's a great name.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Paul and Alex...

I'm sorry to say, it was Round Two last time,

Round Two again this time.

A tremendous parallel between this show and the show before.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you. It's been great having you on the show, and Millie 2.

Millie says if you'd done John Wayne films,

she'd have been in there.

OK, well, I can only apologise. I'm sorry.

Paul and Alex, thanks very much for playing.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Gillian and Sarah, Jamie and Morgan.

You're one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot of £1,000.

Now, we have to decide which pair it's going to be going through to that Pointless final

to play for the money, and to do that, you're now going to go head-to-head.

The difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Now, Gillian...

We think we'll take this audition one step further.

I'm going to ask you to come up here.

-Come up here, come on!

-No, no, no!

I want you to read something out.

Uh-oh.

Maybe I need to drink some water first or something.

Some brandy, I think.

There you are. There we go.

OK. Coming up next, the head-to-head

with Gillian and Sarah and Jamie and Morgan.

Brilliant!

Back of the net!

Well done. Superb.

So we've got two brand-new pairs.

Neither of you have been on Pointless before, let alone

made it through to the head-to-head.

It's going to be very exciting when you can put your heads together. Let's play the head-to-head.

And here comes your first question. It concerns...

-Jockeys. Richard.

-That's gone down well with everyone(!)

We're about to show you five pictures of jockeys past and present.

Can you identify the most obscure of these?

OK, let's reveal our five jockeys. And here they come. We have got...

There we go. Five jockeys.

Gillian and Sarah, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

THEY CONFER

I think we're going to go for A

and we think it's Willie Carson.

Willie Carson.

Willie Carson, say Gillian and Sarah.

Now then, Janie and Morgan, talk us through the rest of the board, if you can.

Wish I could!

Don't know anything about jockeys, really.

We only know the one, pretty much.

We're going to have to go for C and Frankie Dettori.

C - Frankie Dettori.

C - Frankie Dettori.

So we have Carson versus Dettori.

Let's see. Willie Carson, say Gillian and Sarah.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

38.

38. Jamie and Morgan have said Frankie Dettori for C.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

52 for Frankie Dettori.

Well done, Gillian and Sarah. After one question, you're up 1-0.

-Richard.

-Tough first question there.

Well handled by both teams.

B, arguably the best female jockey in the UK. It's Hayley Turner.

Well done if you said that.

4 points.

Now, D is a pointless answer.

Not pointless to me, because I won an absolute bomb on him

when he won the Grand National on Neptune Collonges.

It's Daryl Jacob.

Very well done if you said him.

And obviously, that is Lester Piggott, the biggest scorer of all.

Would have scored you 58.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Here comes your second question. Jamie and Morgan, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game. It concerns...

Weather songs. Richard.

We'll show you the names of five UK Top 40 hits,

each of which have a weather term in their title,

but we've left that term out.

Can you fill it in, please?

Let's reveal our five weather songs, and here they are.

I'll read those all one final time.

So there we are - five weather songs.

Jamie and Morgan, you go first this time.

THEY CONFER

You can pick. On your head be it.

We're torn between two.

Did I hear...? The last thing you said was "On your head be it"?!

Yes, it was!

Right you are.

Just so we're clear.

-Yes.

-OK.

Do you want to go for yours?

OK, we'll go for DJ Fresh ft Rita Ora

and Hot Right Now.

Hot Right Now.

-Was that your choice, Morgan, or Jamie's?

-Mine.

-That was Jamie's choice.

Gillian and Sarah.

Talk us through the board if you can.

I think the only one we don't know is Riders On The...

whatever that is.

It's Raining Men.

Summer Sun, I'm guessing, maybe.

Is that not Texas?

I don't know.

That's what I thought.

And then it's Raining...

-It's Thunder.

-Thunder, is it?

-I think so.

-Go with that.

I think we'll go with the top one.

Leo Sayer - I think it's Thunder In My Heart.

-Thunder In My Heart?

-I think so.

Thunder In My Heart, say Gillian and Sarah.

OK, so Jamie and Morgan have said Hot Right Now.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Hot Right Now.

Absolutely right.

17.

It needs to be good for you, this one.

You have to win it to stay in the game. Gillian and Sarah

have gone for Thunder In My Heart, the Leo Sayer song.

Let's see if thunder is right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Has to beat 17.

Oh, it's done it! Look at that - 15.

Very, very well done.

Gillian and Sarah, after only two questions,

you are through to the final 2-0.

-Brilliant.

-That was close.

Very well played.

-Morgan, what was your choice going to be?

-Summer Breeze by the Isley Brothers.

It is Summer Breeze. Actually would have lost you the point as well.

Summer Breeze would have scored you 23 points.

So that is a relief.

You've lost, but at least you can still talk to each other.

It's Riders On The Storm

by the Doors.

Would have scored 58 points.

And It's Raining Men by the Weather Girls.

That's a very big score - 90 points for the Weather Girls.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid is Jamie and Morgan. Two perfectly good answers there.

I'm afraid Gillian and Sarah just...

pulled it out from under your noses, I'm afraid.

Yes, Thunder In My Heart

just pipped you. But the good news is, we'll see you again next time.

Jamie and Morgan, thanks very much for playing. Great contestants.

But for Gillian and Sarah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Gillian and Sarah.

You fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy,

so very, very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Gillian, Sarah,

you've made this look like a walk in the park. You've come breezing through every round,

and then a 2-0 head-to-head victory. Fantastic.

Now, as you will have gathered, today we've made a couple of tiny changes to the end game,

just to make it a bit more exciting,

but as always, first you have to choose a category.

And your choices are...

Only four of them today.

What do you think?

-Uh-oh!

-Hmm.

None of them are good for us at all.

-We'll have to go with sporting champions.

-Sporting champions.

OK, what within sporting champions would you be good at?

Something Olympic sort of based.

Football.

I don't know any sports.

OK, so you've gone with sporting champions.

Richard.

So, for this question, we'll give you three different options.

So you'll still have your normal 60 seconds, still going to give us three answers,

but you can give your answers across any of the categories you're about to see.

Three different ones.

We need you to give us the name of anyone who has...

That's the Open, the US Open, the Masters and the US PGA.

Or anyone who has...

That's the French, Australian, US Open and Wimbledon.

Or anyone who has...

That's the UK, the Masters, and the World Championships.

So you can choose one on each category,

you can choose three from one, if you like.

However you fancy doing it. You still have 60 seconds,

still give us three answers, and you still need one pointless.

Now, as always, you've got one minute to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

Remember, the answer you provide can be from any of these three...

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, they've got to be pretty big people cos they've won five times.

Do you know any for definite?

Shall we just list some golfers and tennis players and snooker...

Golf, I've no chance.

Nick Faldo.

Padraig Harrington could be a good one.

-Ernie Els - is he golf?

-Yeah.

And tennis?

I can't... Sharapova.

Anna Kournikova...

Thingy thingy...

Rocka Rockavitch.

Novak Djokovic!

Steffi Graf...

-I don't...

-OK, snooker.

Alex Higgins?

I think he's...

Yeah, he won't be...

Shall we just pick three tennis players?

Yeah. Probably be more likely to win the tennis.

OK. I would say go for Lleyton Hewitt...

Ten seconds left.

Yeah, OK.

Um...

Kournikova?

OK.

I don't know...

That's your time up. I now need three answers from you. What are you going to give me?

We'll give you three answers from the winners of five or more tennis Grand Slam titles.

OK. And they are?

We're going to go with

-Justine Henin...

-Justine Henin.

-Lleyton Hewitt.

-Lleyton Hewitt.

-Victoria Azarenka.

-Victoria Azarenka.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I don't know. Maybe Lleyton Hewitt.

Lleyton Hewitt we'll put last.

Lleyton Hewitt. And your least likely?

-Azarenka.

-Azarenka.

-We don't know if she's won any!

-OK, we'll put her first.

Let's put those answers on the board in that order. Here they are.

All from the tennis category.

OK, well, very, very best of luck.

You chose to ignore the golf and the snooker entirely - just went to tennis.

Very best of luck. Your first answer - the one you thought was least likely to be pointless -

was Victoria Azarenka. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

If this is pointless, you leave here with £1,000.

Bad luck.

First answer incorrect. Two more answers on the board.

Your second answer was Justine Henin.

Let's see if that's right. If this is right and it's pointless,

you'll leave here with £1,000.

Gillian, what would you do with £1,000?

Spend it all in London before I go home!

LAUGHTER

Easily done.

Sarah, how about you?

I think I'd probably do the same, to be honest.

Just buy more clothes and shoes and bags and things.

Yeah!

Not do anything sensible with it at all.

OK! Very, very best of luck.

Your second answer, Justine Henin - let's see if it's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

If it's pointless, you leave with £1,000.

It's right.

Your first answer, Victoria Azarenka,

was incorrect, but Justine Henin is absolutely right.

Taking us down through the teens...

into single figures, still going down...

You've done it!

CHEERING

Very well done indeed! Brilliant!

That is fantastic.

Very well done. Fantastic - first time!

Very, very well done! Congratulations, Gillian and Sarah.

Justine Henin was a pointless answer,

which means you leave here with the jackpot of £1,000.

Very, very well done indeed.

Yeah, Azarenka, she's only won two Grand Slam titles, as of February 2013,

as has Lleyton Hewitt, actually, so he would have been an incorrect answer too.

Justine Henin was a terrific answer.

Let's look at some pointless answers in each of the categories

in case you've gone across the different ones at home.

We'll start with golf.

You would have won the money with...

Also would have won money for Gene Sarazen, Harry Vardon or James Braid.

Well done if you said any of those.

Tennis, you would have won the money for...

Also Evonne Goolagong, John Newcombe, Martina Hingis and Monica Seles -

all of those pointless answers. Very well done if you said those.

And snooker...

Also Doug Mountjoy and Paul Hunter.

Very well done if you said any of those across any category - you would have won the money.

Thanks very much indeed.

Did you know any other answers?

We were talking about Paul Hunter just last night, actually.

We knew Martina Hingis as well.

We didn't know her - we said she was a tennis player!

Who cares? You've won anyway.

So, very, very well done indeed.

Thanks once again to our winning players, Gillian and Sarah,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done.

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd