Episode 32 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where we're always striving

to find the most obscure answers. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello. I'm Neal from Belfast, living in Newcastle.

And this is Adam who also lives in Newcastle.

-Couple number two.

-I'm Vicky and this is my dad Tim. We're from Norwich.

-Couple number three.

-My name's Mel and this is my partner Stewart.

We're from Evesham in Worcestershire.

-And couple number four.

-I'm Pete and this is my son Nathan. We're both from Guisborough.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Britain's third-best Richard Osman tribute act,

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everyone.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you. How are you?

-Not bad at all.

I've got a challenge for you in Round One.

I've got some pronunciations for you.

-Good.

-It's one of those rounds where we'll see what you're made of.

-OK. Good.

-We've got two returning pairs.

Stewart and Mel did well last time.

They got to the head-to-head, so might be tricky to beat.

Pete and Nathan we thought were going to go all the way.

They were terrific in Round One, then hit the buffers in Round Two.

But we did discover that Pete is Britain's youngest-looking 45-year-old.

-Yeah.

-Just a little close-up on Pete for a minute.

I just suddenly thought. A look of Mark Wahlberg about Pete.

-Yeah, a young Mark Wahlberg.

-Yeah, young. Back in the day. Anyway,

what sort of game have we got, Richard?

-Yeah, a cracker. As I say, Round One...

-Brilliant, yes.

-..a little challenge for you.

-I'm looking forward to it.

-I think you'll be all right.

-I'll be up to it. I hope so.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show and our contestants

need to find the obscure answers our 100 people couldn't find.

What everyone is trying to do is to find a pointless answer,

which is an answer none of our 100 people gave. Each time that happens,

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Todd and Sam didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £5,000.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, I want an answer from each of you

but there is to be no conferring.

At the end of the round, whichever team has the highest score will be heading home.

Our first category today is...

Designers. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Famous designers and their first names. Richard.

On each pass, we'll show you the surnames of seven famous

fashion designers and their date of birth in brackets.

We just need you to give us their first names, please.

There's going to be 14 fashion designers to get at home. Good luck.

OK. We are looking for the first names of these fashion designers. Here's our first board of seven.

-I'll read those one last time. So far so good?

-Pretty good, yeah.

Now then, Neal and Adam, we all drew lots before the show and today you are going to go first.

-Adam, it seems like you volunteered to take the first hit.

-I did.

OK. Adam, welcome to the show. What do you do, Adam?

-I work at a concert venue called Sage Gateshead.

-Very famous.

-Which I enjoy very much.

-How long have you worked there?

About a year now. It's just fantastic.

-I get to see a lot of great stuff.

-Right. OK.

-Now then, Adam, which of these are you going to go for?

-Well...

There's only really a couple I know for certain.

So I am going to play it safe here.

I'll go for Saint Laurent.

First name, I believe, Yves.

Yves Saint Laurent, says Adam. Yves Saint Laurent.

Let's see if Yves is right. Let's see how many people said Yves.

Oh! 91.

Well, it's correct.

-I'll give it that.

-Yeah.

-91. A high score.

-That is a big score for Yves Saint Laurent.

-Started working for Dior.

-Welcome to the show, Tim. What do you do?

-I have my own business doing training courses in hotels throughout the UK.

-Oh, that's fun.

So, are you in little Fawlty Towers sets and bring people in

-and you can throw problems at them?

-It's more things like fire safety

and food hygiene these days.

So it's stopping people getting food poisoning or burnt.

-HE LAUGHS

-What a good job.

Good job you're there. What do you do when you're not preventing these things?

I volunteer with a radio station in Norwich.

I have a show on there interviewing people.

-So, it's a chat show, essentially?

-It is. Think Jeremy Vine.

-Factual.

I'm thinking Jeremy Vine. Who have you interviewed?

The most famous person I've interviewed has been David Cameron,

who popped in trying to win an election.

Which he kind of did, didn't he?

-It was thanks to you, Tim.

-It was, yes. All thanks to me

and our listeners who asked him difficult questions.

-Well, now, Tim, designers?

-As you can tell, design is my thing.

-Is your forte.

-Yes. So there is only one other. I knew the bottom one.

The only other one I know is Christian Dior 1905.

Christian Dior. Let's see if Christian is right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Christian.

It's right. 76.

Another high score but a lot lower than 91.

APPLAUSE

Christian Dior launched his couture house in 1947.

-And became something of an overnight sensation.

-Now then,

Mel, welcome back. Tell us about last time.

We got through to the head-to-head. We were at one-each. Then,

unfortunately, the topic of the Magna Carta came up.

Yes, Magna Carta. That's right.

-You were out by a few centuries.

-Yes. Unfortunately so.

-Mind you,

to be honest, the other two were pretty lucky to get through.

They just picked carefully.

They were completely out as well. Anyway, that was another show.

Today. Today is going to be a very different story.

-We've got this.

-Yep.

-Are you pleased with this?

Not too bad. Yeah, not too bad. I know a couple up there.

It's whether I go for an obscure one and hope it's right.

I'm going to go for Wang.

-Vera.

-Vera Wang, says Mel. Let's see if Vera's right for Wang.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Vera Wang.

It's right.

31.

There we are. There's a proper score.

APPLAUSE

-Well done, Mel.

-Yeah, Chiefly known for her wedding dresses. Terrific answer.

-Victoria Beckham, she made them for J.Lo, Kim Kardashian.

-Now then,

-Pete.

-Hi.

-Pete,

welcome back. Last time, you and Nathan scored 1 in the first round.

Fantastic. And then we threw fictional addresses at you. Yes.

-That was a very tough round that one.

-Tough one.

-That's right,

-we had Jean Marple instead of Jane Marple.

-Yes.

Now then, Pete, what do you make of this board?

Um, it's not my favourite subject.

Do you think you could talk us through it?

I could possibly talk you through one.

It could be pretty short this talk through.

Um, I think the top one... I think the designer probably is

Nina Ricci.

Nina Ricci, says Pete. Nina Ricci.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said Nina.

Very well done, Pete. That's a great answer.

48.

APPLAUSE

-48 for Nina Ricci.

-Well played, Pete.

It's amazing how big scorers our designers are.

Our 100 really knew what they were talking about.

-Do you know Amies?

-Hardy.

-Yes, big scorer that, 62 points.

The other two are low scorers, though.

-Do you know Herrera?

-No.

-Designs for all sorts of people.

But, the First Lady, Laura Bush and Michelle Obama.

Carolina Herrera, would have scored you 1 point.

And Vionnet is a pointless answer. Well done if you said Madeleine.

-Madeleine Vionnet.

-Very good.

Clever to name yourself after a museum.

V&A? LAUGHS That's good.

OK, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores

as they stand. 31, the best score of that pass. Mel, very well done.

Mel and Stewart taking a commanding position at this stage.

Then up to 48, where we find Pete and Nathan.

76, where we find Tim and Vicky.

And then Adam and Neal are way out in front on 91.

So, yes, Neal, you're going to be the last person to have this board,

which might be good. It might force you into saying something you wouldn't necessarily choose.

Let's hope that keeps you in the game.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put seven more fashion designers on the board.

And here they come. We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

Nathan, we are looking for the first names of these famous fashion designers.

You are going to try to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Last time, you were dazzling when it was Scottish League football.

-Yes.

-This time, again, it plays so to your strengths.

-Yeah.

Same kind of thing, designers, Scottish football.

-Kind of two sides of the same coin, aren't they?

-Yeah, exactly.

We want a nice low-scoring answer. You have first pick of the board.

Right. I think, there's a couple of obvious ones, but I think

Lagerfeld's first name is Karl.

Karl Lagerfeld, says Nathan. There's your red line,

Nathan. You want to be scoring 42 or less.

Let's see if you can do that with Karl Lagerfeld.

45.

APPLAUSE

45. It takes your total up to 93. You're the highest scorers now.

But there are still three more answers required.

It's a good answer. I suspect that might see you safe as well.

Now then, Stewart. Remind us what you do, Stewart.

Personal tutor. I look after further education students.

16 to 23 year olds.

Just trying to help them get through their qualification.

And I do a bit of teaching as well.

Obviously, Mel is a teacher. Does that mean you get lots of holidays?

Not as much. We still have our holidays during the school holidays.

But you get a bit of holiday? It's the upside of teaching, generally.

What do you do with your holidays? Do you go abroad?

Yeah, we do. We spend a lot of time going on different foreign holidays every year.

Last year, we went to Florida. Had a great time there.

This year, we're off to Singapore and Malaysia.

-We generally like to go to distant places.

-Good stuff. OK.

-Well, you want to be scoring 61 or less, Stewart.

-OK.

Um, I think I know one.

Maybe another but I'm not going to take the risk just in case.

So I'm going to have to plump for Vivienne Westwood.

You're going to go for Vivienne Westwood. There's Vivienne Westwood.

Let's see. Here is your red line. You get below that,

you're through to the next round. How many of our 100 said

Vivienne Westwood?

86.

86 for Vivienne Westwood takes your total up to 117, Stewart.

That's good name recognition for Vivienne Westwood, isn't it?

-She was a primary school teacher before she became a designer.

-Was she really?

-Yes, she was.

She designed one famous wedding dress, which was Carrie Bradshaw's wedding dress in Sex And The City.

There you are.

Thank you very much.

Vicky. Vicky, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Vicky?

I'm a senior support worker for a housing association.

And I support people who have been homeless and they may have other issues.

We support them to do things for themselves,

so that they can go and get their own place in the community

and do what they want to do with their lives.

Good for you. Very worthwhile indeed. Vicky, you want to score

40 or less to see your place safely in the second round.

This is my worst nightmare.

-Oh, no!

-Absolutely my worst nightmare.

Essentially, I'm torn between two picked-up random names

and whether to go for the top one or the bottom one.

But I think I'm going to go for the top one because I want to try and pronounce it.

So I'm going to go for Claudia Schiaparelli.

-Claudia.

-Claudia.

-Schiaparelli.

-Yes.

Here's your red line. If you can get below that... Is that a guess?

-It is a complete guess.

-Sounds good to me. Claudia

Schiaparelli. Let's see if it gets you below that red line. Let's see if it's right to start with.

No. Oh, bad luck.

Not Claudia as it turns out. That scores you the maximum

of 100 points, I'm sorry. That takes your total up to 176.

-It does sound convincing.

-Doesn't it?

-Claudia.

If you've just bought a Claudia Schiaparelli dress at your local market, I'm afraid it's a knock-off.

-It's moody.

-Yeah.

OK. Er, now, Neal.

Neal. How do you and Adam know each other, Neal?

-We went to uni together.

-Right you are.

We both did performing arts at Northumbria.

And graduated at the same time, we were in the same year.

Did a lot of shows together. And now we live together as well.

-What do you do now?

-Well, I do a couple of things.

First of all, to pay the bills, I'm a careers adviser.

Just careers advice for young people between 13 and 18.

Even over the phone or online, webchat and stuff like that.

And also me and Adam have started running our own theatre company with two other people.

Good for you. Very good indeed.

You're the last to have this board. Talk us through

-the designers and supply their first names.

-I'd love to but I can't.

-Yeah, tough.

-I'll mirror Vicky's sentiments and say this is my worst nightmares.

This is one of the topics that I would have no clue on whatsoever.

I've barely heard of half of these as well.

But something is knocking around in the back of my head.

I've probably got him mixed up with a different designer

but I'm going to go with

Giorgio Cavalli.

-Giorgio Cavalli.

-Which is probably wrong but...

OK. Giorgio Cavalli, says Neal. There's your red line.

Let's see if Giorgio Cavalli's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No. Bad luck, Neal.

Not Giorgio Cavalli. That's great news to Vicky and Tim who get to remain with us.

But I'm afraid that scores you 100 points

and takes your total up to an unbeatable 191.

-Sorry. You might have been thinking of Giorgio Armani.

-I knew it.

-Yeah.

-It's Roberto Cavalli.

It would have scored you 8 points.

Now Schiaparelli, it's not Claudia, it's Elsa,

and would have scored you 1 point. It's a terrific answer.

Cassini was... Jackie Kennedy made him the official designer

for the White House. They called him the Secretary of Style.

He was Oleg. It was a pointless answer. Well done if you did that.

Now, Chanel, I would have thought one of you would have come up with a name for. It's Coco.

Coco Chanel. She would have scored you 75. It's a big scorer.

And you'll know the bottom one. Another great British designer.

Norman Hartnell.

Would have scored you 50 points.

Look at those bottom scores. Some big scorers from our 100 people.

Very good. Impressive. Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home with a score of 191 is Neal and Adam. I'm so sorry.

-It's not your fault.

-I know but... Did you not know Coco Chanel?

-No.

-Not a clue.

-Oh, I see.

-I thought that was a gift for you there.

-No.

But, no, I'm afraid you are the highest scorers.

No arguing with that. We'll get to see you next time. We'll look forward to that.

Thanks for playing, Neal and Adam.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so only three pairs remain. At the end of this round,

we'll be saying goodbye to another pair. Well, Tim and Vicky. Phew!

Did you think you were going to be going with Claudia Schiaparelli?

We thought, yeah. I thought Coco Chanel was a good answer

that was just waiting there that everyone would know.

-Yeah.

-But, fortunately, Neal didn't.

-No, he didn't go for it.

-Here you are. Well done.

-Very glad to have lucked that one.

-Good.

Who knows what this next round is going to be?

Pete and Nathan, our lowest scorers again in that round as you were last time.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

British actors. Happy with that, Vicky?

Not one of my favourites again.

-You're picking the wrong categories for me, Richard.

-I'm so sorry.

-You're not picking my favourites.

-What shall I have gone for?

-Football.

-Books.

-Football books? OK, I'll put that down for the next round.

-Football or books or together.

-Listen, I'm just going to bring us back to British actors.

There we are. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Daniel Day-Lewis films

as they could. Daniel Day-Lewis films,

-Richard.

-He's the first man to win three best-actor Oscars.

And he's a Brit. So time to celebrate Daniel Day-Lewis.

We're looking for any film for which he receives an acting credit.

Any feature film made for cinema release.

Any TV film, short film, documentary, that sort of thing, won't count.

But voice performances do count as always.

So any Daniel Day-Lewis film. Very, very best of luck.

Right then, Vicky,

Daniel Day-Lewis films.

If you show me the face, I'll tell you the films. If you tell me the name, I won't.

LAUGHTER

If I show you the face, I'll tell you the film?

-Show me the face.

-I love riddles. Say that again.

-You solve my questions instead.

-Um...

-Do you want me to describe his face?

-Yes.

Describe his face.

He's quite handsome. He's quite thin-faced. He's got a nose.

-Dark hair.

-A couple of eyebrows.

Yeah, at least.

LAUGHTER

Mouth. Chin. I mean, you know?

Because I can't picture him, the way I'm thinking of it is,

I'm just picking one of two films in my head

and one's probably going to have him in and the other's not.

-Why? On what basis?

-Because I'll probably pick the wrong one.

Oh, OK. I'm just thinking, if you don't know who he is,

-that's quite a hit rate to me.

-Yes, it is.

HE LAUGHS

-They're both popular films of the year.

-OK.

-That's what I'm basing it on.

-I see.

-Right you are.

-Most people are in Les Miserables, so I'll go for that.

-Certainly we were, weren't we?

-Yeah, yeah.

LAUGHTER

Les Miserables, says Vicky. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

Bad luck, Vicky. I'm afraid he was not in Les Miserables.

-I'm my own 200-point club.

-You are.

You certainly are. But it may not be the last 100 points of the round,

-so don't give up yet.

-Absolutely. And you're right, Vicky,

most actors were in Les Miserables. 93% of actors were in it.

But he, unfortunately, was one of the 7% who wasn't in it.

-Now then, Mel?

-Yeah.

Daniel Day-Lewis?

Not great, I'll be honest.

There's only one I can think of and it's been a very recent film

so it's going to be probably quite

popular. Um, but I'm going to go for Lincoln.

Lincoln. Well, you might be taking other people's answers away.

It may not be a bad move tactically. Lincoln. Let's see is that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's right.

63 for Lincoln. 63.

-That's lower than I was expecting.

-Could be a lot worse, couldn't it?

There's a scene in that film where you hear Lincoln's watch ticking

and it's the sound of Lincoln's real watch.

Now then, Pete?

-Hello.

-Pete. Daniel Day-Lewis films?

I was thinking of the one that Mel has just said.

But I was dubious about the title.

But the only other one I know, I think he was in,

he won an Oscar for, was My Left Foot.

My Left Foot, says Pete. My Left Foot.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

It is right. 63 our best score so far.

You've passed that. 41.

APPLAUSE

Good score, Pete. Best score so far.

Yes. Plays Christy Brown. Won his first Oscar for that role.

We're halfway. Let's look at those scores.

Pete, once again, securing a nice position for him and Nathan on 41.

Then up to 63, where we find Mel and Stewart.

Then up to 100, where we find Vicky and Tim.

Tim, there may be other 100s to come. But if you can make sure

one of those isn't yours that might be enough to keep you in the game

and into the head-to-head. We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're looking for Daniel Day-Lewis films. Nathan,

-your dad has done you pretty well there.

-He has indeed.

-You're on 41.

If you can score 58 or less, you are in the head-to-head.

Right. I think, and I say "think" because I do only think

I know one more Daniel Day-Lewis film that hasn't been said.

I think he was in something called There Will Be Blood.

There Will Be Blood, says Nathan.

Here comes your red line. There Will Be Blood.

If you get below that red line, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's find out. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's absolutely right, Nathan. Very well done indeed.

And you are through to the head-to-head.

26.

APPLAUSE

67 your total.

Yep. We've now had all three of his Oscar-winning roles as well.

That was from 2007, There Will Be Blood.

-14 minutes before there's any dialogue in that film.

-Yes.

That's a long film as well.

Do you remember that Pointless episode where there was 14 minutes before we said anything?

And that had the highest ratings of any Pointless episode ever.

-It's amazing.

-Yeah. They loved that.

-They really did.

It's weird. They love it. The less we say, the happier everyone is.

-Yeah.

-Weird that.

-Yeah.

-That's because they get excited about what we're going to say.

-Probably.

-Yeah, it's probably that.

-Yeah. We should say no more.

LAUGHTER

I have to apologise to Mel. Daniel Day-Lewis films I'm not too hot on.

But I'm going to have a guess.

The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill.

The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill.

Well, you want to score 36 or less.

That's what it looks like. There's your red line. The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill.

Is that right? How many people said it if it is?

Bad luck, Stewart. An incorrect answer scores you 100 points.

That takes your total up to 163.

Sorry, Stewart. The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain starred Hugh Grant.

Tim?

Right. Yes, sadly, the ones I knew have gone.

Um, but when Richard was talking there, he did mention voice-overs.

So, possibly, he's done some animation.

Or some voices in animated films.

So I'll take a punt at Pocahontas.

Pocahontas. OK, that's a bold punt. But who knows?

It could be right. You want to be scoring 62 or less with this, Tim.

There is your red line. Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Pocahontas. Is Daniel Day-Lewis in that?

No. Bad luck, Tim.

Another incorrect answer, which scores you 100 points.

Taking your total up to 200.

I said at the beginning of this round that it's time

to celebrate Daniel Day-Lewis and I feel like...

-I feel like we've done the opposite.

-Yeah.

Some of the bigger answers people didn't say.

Gangs Of New York would have scored you 34.

Last Of The Mohicans would have scored you 32.

In The Name Of The Father would have scored you 15.

-Xander, do you have an obscure one?

-I've got one called Nanou.

Nanou.

N-A-N-O-U.

-N-A..

-N-O-U.

-And in this film you're imagining what?

What happens?

He was... Yeah, it's a half-French half-English film.

And he was a very young actor in it.

And where has this come from in your brain?

Because a cousin of mine was in it with him.

Played his ex-girlfriend.

Yeah. It's a great film.

Oh, it's a brilliant film. Yeah. You should've seen it.

-Actually, you really should've seen it.

-Well, Nanou,

if you just said it to me, is a pointless answer.

Yes!

APPLAUSE

And there's only two pointless answers in all.

Eversmile, New Jersey being the other one. So Nanou

-would have been brilliant.

-Yeah.

-That's terrific.

Other low scorers. Stars And Bars and The Ballad Of Jack And Rose would have scored 1.

The Bounty would have scored you 2.

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being 3. And The Age Of Innocence 5.

Room With a View and Gandhi both would have scored you 9.

And The Boxer would have scored you 10. He's been in lots of good films.

-Plenty.

-You just wouldn't know it from...

-No.

But three Oscars. And those are the three answers we had.

Nothing else. Still.

He should have done Pocahontas.

-That was his first mistake.

-He should have done.

-Perhaps he can do Pocahontas II.

-Yes. I'll suggest it to him.

He did Last Of The Mohicans. That's a similar vibe to Pocahontas.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Tim and Vicky, I'm afraid, at the end of our second round,

it is you with your high score of 200 who will be leaving us.

But thank you very much for playing. We look forward to seeing you next time. Tim and Vicky.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Pete and Nathan, Stewart and Mel.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £5,000.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

So in order to decide which pair goes through to the final

and plays for that money, you're now going to go head-to-head.

The difference being you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that money.

-Well, Stewart and Mel, you've been here before.

-We have.

Last time, you were our golden couple, our lowest-scoring pair.

And now, look, Pete and Nathan, our other returning pair,

they've seen you off the pedestal.

-This side was luckier last time.

-Yeah, that's true.

It doesn't always favour the people who go first.

But I think this is going to be a very exciting third round.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK. Here comes your first question and it concerns...

-French buildings, Richard.

-We're going to show you pictures

of famous French buildings, tell us the most obscure. Good luck.

Let's reveal five French buildings and here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five French buildings.

Pete and Nathan, you've played best throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

BOTH WHISPER

C. C looks like Montmartre.

The Montmartre in Paris.

Right, yeah. Looking at them, I'm not sure of some of the buildings

but I think C could be the Montmartre in Paris.

Montmartre. Montmartre.

OK.

Now then, Stewart and Mel.

Do you want to talk us through all of them, if you can?

Have a punt at some of them and then say which one you want to submit.

I'm not entirely sure of A or B.

I would have gone for a different answer on C.

You can say which one it would be.

I personally would have thought it was Notre Dame.

But we're going to go for D,

which is the Pompidou Centre.

The Pompidou Centre you're going to say for D. Pompidou.

So Pete and Nathan have gone for Montmartre.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Oh! I'm afraid it's not.

Stewart and Mel, all you have to be is correct with the Pompidou Centre.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Very well done. You've done it.

APPLAUSE

30.

Very well done. After one question, Stewart and Mel, you're up one-nil.

Yeah. Montmartre is the area of Paris where the Sacre-Coeur is,

the big white church.

And, Mel, you're right, it is Notre Dame - C.

And would have scored 29 points.

So would have won the points if you'd said it.

A is the Pantheon in Paris.

That would have scored you 2 points.

B is in Strasbourg and it's the European Parliament.

And that would have scored 6.

And E, of course, the Louvre.

And that would have scored 55.

Very well done if you got all five of those at home.

Thank you very much. Here comes your second question.

Pete and Nathan, you have to win this to stay in the game.

Stewart and Mel, you get to go first this time. It concerns...

The moon, Richard.

We'll show you a list of clues to facts about the moon as it appears in popular culture.

Can you give us the most obscure answer to these questions?

OK. Let's reveal our clues and here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about the moon.

Stewart and Mel, you go first.

BOTH WHISPER

Um, we're going to go for the first one, the 1980s children's series.

And we're going to go for Button Moon.

Button Moon. Button Moon, say Mel and Stewart.

Pete and Nathan,

do you want to talk us through the board?

-What jumps over the moon? Is it a cow?

-The cow jumps over the moon.

I think that'll definitely be higher.

I'm trying to think of the actress who played Addie Loggins in Paper Moon.

-Any idea on that one?

-No, I don't know the name of the actress, sorry.

I'm not sure of the French director.

We'll have to go for the cow jumped over the moon. Hey diddle diddle.

The cow jumped over the moon, say Pete and Nathan.

OK. So Button Moon, say Stewart and Mel, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Button Moon.

It's right.

37.

APPLAUSE

37 for Button Moon. Pete and Nathan,

you have gone for the cow who jumped over the moon.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right. Ooh! Look at that. 86. Big score for the cow.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Stewart and Mel. After only two questions, you're through to the final two-nil.

Very well played, Stewart and Mel. You know the nursery rhyme,

"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon,

"the little dog laughed to see such fun and the dish ran away with the spoon."

It's a myth. It didn't happen.

LAUGHTER

-Really?

-Yeah.

The whole... Literally, no basis in fact.

The whole thing is just fantasy, is that what you're saying?

Over the years, we've come to accept it.

And it's become part of our belief system.

LAUGHTER

Wow!

-I know, it's amazing, isn't it?

-There you go.

Yet they still teach it in schools. So...

Spread the word if you can.

Now let's fill in the rest of these.

Do you know the Oscar-winning song?

-It's Moon River.

-The wonderful Moon River, yeah.

Would have scored you 20 points. Written for Breakfast At Tiffany's.

And the actress, later went on to marry John McEnroe.

Tatum O'Neal.

Would have scored 18 points.

And the best answer on the board by a mile,

the French director of the film A Short Trip To The Moon,

Georges Melies. And that would have scored you 4 points.

-The best answer up there. Well done to 4 of our 100.

-Yeah.

-Impressive.

-Good going, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

If I'd known that, I would want a pointless answer for it.

Yes, you'd be disappointed. Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, at the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm so sorry, this is where we have to say goodbye to Pete and Nathan.

So much better than last time, Round Two.

A great performance throughout the show. Really good low scores.

Sorry. Stewart and Mel whipped it from under your noses there.

Thanks so much for playing. You've been great contestants. Brilliant.

APPLAUSE

But, for Stewart and Mel, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Stewart and Mel, you fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £5,000.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

You've done it. You've done it.

What do you hope is going to come up in this round?

-Sports, capitals, American states.

-Geography or something, yeah.

-Geography would be good.

-Something with French.

-Maybe.

-Yeah.

-German.

-Yes. OK. Well, very best of luck.

As always, the first thing you have to do is choose a category. Here are your four choices.

They are...

-What do you reckon?

-I don't know much about tennis.

-1970s

-Britain doesn't really thrill me, to be honest.

-No.

-Nor artists. I think you know a bit more about a tennis.

-I do know a little bit about tennis.

But I don't think enough. Possibly famous parents and their children.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Let's pick.

-Yeah, all right then.

OK. Famous parents and their children.

-Richard.

-OK, as always, you're going to have three options.

Hopefully, there'll be a bit of variety here.

Your three options are...

Any top-40 single by Ozzy or Kelly Osbourne.

Any novel written by Kingsley or Martin Amis.

Or any film starring Vanessa Redgrave or Joely Richardson.

So any Ozzy or Kelly Osbourne top-40 single in which they are credited under their own names.

Any novel by Kingsley or Martin Amis.

Or any Vanessa Redgrave and Joely Richardson feature films made for cinema release.

No TV films, short films, documentaries, anything like that.

-Very, very best of luck.

-OK.

As always, you've got a minute to come up with three answers.

In order to win that jackpot of £5,000,

just one of those answers has to be pointless.

Now remember, the answers you can provide can come from

any one, two or three of those three categories.

Ozzy or Kelly Osbourne singles. Kingsley or Martin Amis novels.

Vanessa Redgrave or Joely Richardson films.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK. I'm hoping you're going to know some.

-Not the best, actually.

I'm not getting a lot out of this.

-Number two I haven't got a clue.

-No, me either. Ignore that one.

Let's just think of maybe songs. Um...

That Kelly and Ozzy have done.

What was the band that he was in?

Um... I don't know about this as well.

Let's think of some songs they might have done, kind of indie ones.

-I really don't know. She...

-Vanessa Redgrave.

-Vanessa Redgrave.

-Can you picture her?

-No.

-No, me either.

Um... I'm thinking Kelly Osbourne singles.

I think she's been in more kind of older films, hasn't she?

You try to think of a film, I'll think of some songs.

They're going to be random answers. I really haven't got a clue.

I can't get think of any at the moment.

My mind's gone blank. Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne singles.

-Um...

-10 seconds left.

-Something like Shout.

-Dad.

Father. Father Figure. Um...

-It's songs that she's done on her own, though.

-Yeah.

OK. I'm afraid that is your time up.

-I now need three answers from you.

-Right. OK.

We're really not too good on this category, unfortunately.

Um...

Joely Richardson, I think, maybe put in Panic Room.

-OK. So Panic Room for...

-Panic Room

for Joely Richardson or Vanessa Redgrave films. Panic Room.

I'm sure Kelly's done something.

Father.

Father is a single by Kelly Osbourne.

And the top one, maybe as well as Father, let's go with

-Parents. Let's go with Parents.

-Parents.

Another Kelly Osbourne single. She's...

Yeah. She wants to talk to someone about this.

-Er...

-Yeah.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless...?

-Parents.

-Parents.

-You're going to put Parents at the end?

That's going to be our best shot at a pointless answer.

And your least likely?

-What was the other one? Father?

-Probably the film.

-Panic Room.

Panic Room, we'll put first. OK. Let's pop them on the board in that order. Here they are.

We have got...

Well, very best of luck. That was a tough board for you, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

-OK. Your first answer was Panic Room.

This was a Joely Richardson film you thought. Let's see if it's correct.

If it's correct and it's pointless, you leave here with £5,000.

Panic Room. How many people said it? Is it right?

No! Bad luck.

Your second answer was a shot at a Kelly Osbourne single - Father.

Now if this is right and it goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £5,000.

Let's just say, Father or Parents ends up being a correct

and pointless answer, what would you do with £5,000, Stewart?

First of all, I'd pick myself off the floor.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Um, I think... Um, we like to go

travelling quite a bit. I think we'd go to Canada for a holiday there.

I'd also visit a place in Nova Scotia where my great-granddad is buried.

He was on the Titanic.

-Really?

-It would be nice...

-That would be amazing.

-..for one member of the family to pay a visit.

Yeah. Very good. Well, let's...

-I'm sorry that it's Father and Parents but...

-There you go.

I should have said great-granddad.

It's such a meaningful trip it's hanging on. Um...

Mel, anything else? What would you like to do?

Again, maybe, obviously go on holiday.

And if we did win, we're going on holiday later in the year to Singapore and Malaysia,

so maybe upgrade and go first class would be nice.

Very nice. Good stuff. OK. Well, let's see. Your next answer

being Father, let's see if that's pointless.

Is that really a Kelly Osbourne single? We'll find out.

No! Bad luck.

So I'm afraid everything is resting on your final answer

Parents. Another Kelly Osbourne number.

Let's find out if it's right and, if it is, is it pointless for £5,000?

No! Bad luck!

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't leave with today's jackpot of £5,000,

which rolls over to the next show. We've enjoyed having you on the show.

-You take home a Pointless trophy each. Very well done.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

I'm so sorry. I think where Father and Parent came into your mind,

Kelly Osbourne's biggest hit was a cover of Papa Don't Preach.

But that would have scored you 4 points.

The biggest scorer was Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne had a number-one single

called Changes. That was the biggest scorer.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers in all of those categories.

Gets Me Through was an Ozzy Osbourne single, that was the double A-side with Dreamer.

One Word, another Kelly Osbourne top-10 hit, would've been a pointless answer.

And two more Ozzy Osbourne singles, Perry Mason and So Tired.

All of those would have won you the money.

Now Martin and Kingsley Amis, there were quite a few pointless answers.

Girl, 20, Night Train and Other People - Martin Amis novels.

The Russian Girl, you could have had. You could also have had The House Of Meetings,

Lionel Asbo, Martin Amis's recent novel, that would have been a pointless answer.

Well done if you said any of those.

And Vanessa Redgrave and Joely Richardson films.

There were hundreds. Here's some of the more well known. These are all Vanessa Redgrave films.

Crime And Punishment, Girl, Interrupted, Murder On The Orient Express,

she's also in Wilde. Well done if you said any of those at home.

Tough luck here. Tough category for you.

Thanks. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Stewart and Mel. We've loved having you on the show.

Thank you for playing. Great contestants.

-Thank you.

-Stewart and Mel.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Stewart and Mel didn't win our jackpot today, which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £6,000.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Join us to see if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd