Episode 52 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

Couple number one.

My name's Ian. This is my friend Karl. We're from Chester.

Couple number two.

Hello. I'm Hazel. This is my husband Jay.

We're both from Weston-super-Mare.

Couple number three.

Hi. I'm Helen. This is Sam.

We're both housemates and students at Winchester University.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello. I'm Stuart. This is my mum Moira.

And we're from Surrey and Sussex.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

We've had him insured for £1 million.

No, not because he's smart -

just because one of our researchers swears they saw him eat a Faberge egg.

-It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

-Hiya!

APPLAUSE Hi, everybody.

Hiya.

-How are you?

-I mustn't grumble. I'm really very well.

Excellent. We've got a real familiar line-up today. We've got three returning pairs.

-Jay and Hazel are our only newcomers.

-Yeah.

Today we've got...

Round 1...hopefully, you'll enjoy today, I think.

-Good.

-As I say, three returning pairs.

Moira and Stuart were the best performing last time of our returning pairs.

Thanks very much indeed.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer, of course -

an answer none of our 100 people gave. Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Charlotte and Toby won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this round, I'll take an answer from each of you, but there's to be no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be leaving us.

OK. Our first category today is...

It's a words round.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

--AIR, Richard.

-We are looking for any word

which has its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends -AIR.

We won't accept the word -AIR itself.

No hyphenated words, no proper nouns.

All the usual stuff.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Karl and Ian, you all drew lots before the show and today you are going first.

Ian, welcome back. Great to have you here again.

Tell us what happened last time.

Well, we turned up. I brought Karl,

realised that I'd made a mistake, and we were eliminated.

LAUGHTER

-Was it Round 1?

-It was indeed, yeah.

-We were looking for albums from 2012...

-Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

And my learned friend here decided to plump for Justin Bieber.

And that was wrong.

AND it was a wrong answer as well.

Yeah.

I'm kind of wishing I'd brought my seven-year-old daughter with me instead,

because she's a huge Pointless fan.

What's her name, Ian?

Her name's Olivia.

She was watching the show last week and she said,

"Do you know, Daddy, I think that Richard is more intelligent than Alexander."

And I said, "OK, why do you think that?"

And she said, "Well, I've looked at Alexander and I think he just guesses at half the questions."

LAUGHTER

She's smart!

Just half?

OK, now then. You've had a little bit of time - not much, but a little bit of time -

to think of a really good word ending in -AIR. What are you going for?

I've got a few

to choose from, but I'm going to go for unimpair.

Unimpair.

Unimpair, says Ian.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said unimpair.

Oh, no!

Oh, Ian!

Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer. That's so un...

-..unjust.

-RICHARD CHUCKLES

APPLAUSE

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Um...oh!

-That was always going to happen, wasn't it?

-Oh, that really is unjust!

I can't believe it.

That is so unjust.

I'm afraid that scores you

the maximum of 100 points. I'm really sorry, Ian.

And again, you've done exactly the right thing.

You were playing Pointless the way Pointless likes to be played.

Exactly right. It's an unfortunate 100 points, that.

It doesn't have its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English, I'm afraid.

Jay, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. Tell us what you do, Jay.

I'm a decorator.

-And where do you do your decorating? All around?

-All across the south.

Good stuff. When you're not painting and decorating,

what do you like to get up to?

Um...

Well, we recently embarked on a tour of the UK piers,

and had a kiss at the end of every one.

Steady, now!

AUDIENCE: Aww!

You could have got all of them in one go - just go to the House of Lords.

They wouldn't have minded.

We didn't think of that!

Wow! At the end of every pier. What's been your favourite pier so far?

-Because we have a favourite.

-We do have a favourite pier.

-Southwold.

-Fair enough.

-That's not our favourite.

-No.

-It's no Bangor.

-Yeah, Bangor is our favourite.

-Bangor, that's the best pier.

-Have you been there?

We had our Pointless summer outing to Bangor.

It was brilliant, wasn't it?

There we are. Good stuff.

Jay, what are you going to go for?

Um, I think I'll play fairly safe and go for armchair.

Armchair, says Jay. Armchair.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said armchair.

It's right.

Wow - 7!

7 for armchair. Good answer, Jay.

It's a really good answer, Jay.

I like to think of all the people at home desperately trying to think of a good answer and just going...

Was that your idea, Jay and Hazel, to kiss at the end of every pier in Britain?

It's a lovely idea. Or did you nick it off someone?

No, we actually met on a pier

and had our first kiss on a pier.

-Aww!

-So, yeah.

-It's a genuinely lovely idea, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

Now, Helen, welcome back.

Tell us what happened last time.

We got to the second round

and then a question on stately homes came up,

which isn't our strong point,

and we got 200 points.

That was last time. Today is going to be a very, very different story.

As evidenced by your brilliant answer right now, Helen.

OK! Um...

I'm going to say despair.

-Despair.

-LAUGHTER

Why are you laughing?!

-As evidenced by your answer now.

-I'm only laughing because it's funny that that would be an answer.

-Oh.

-Despair.

-It amused me, that's all!

-OK.

Honestly, don't panic.

Helen's going for despair.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said despair.

It's right.

10.

10 for despair.

The complete loss or absence of hope. I am sorry, Helen!

-It's OK!

-For whatever reason, it made me laugh.

Thanks, Richard. Stuart.

Welcome back to the show. Good to have you here.

What happened with you last time?

We got through to the head-to-head.

Unfortunately, we came across a better team.

I don't think you did come across a better team.

-I think you came across a team for whom those questions fell very, very well.

-Yes, our luck ran out.

-Yeah.

-I think.

Stuart, what are you going to go for here?

Um...

There's a few that I've been thinking of,

but I think I'll go for...

eclair.

Mmm. Eclair, says Stuart.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said eclair.

It's right.

10.

Very well done, Stuart. 10 for eclair.

Started well again. Yeah, long, thin choux pastry with cream filling and chocolate icing.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Three scores between our four pairs.

7 the lowest score. Jay, well done. Hazel and Jay looking strong.

As indeed are the other two pairs with low scores.

10 is where Helen and Sam and Stuart and Moira are,

and then I'm really sorry,

Ian and Karl, way up at 100.

You never know.

There may be another high score.

There MAY be another high score, so, Karl, in case that happens,

you need to be thinking of a really good low score.

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

So, remember, we are looking for words ending in -AIR.

-Moira, welcome back.

-Hello.

Remind us - you're retired now, but remind us what you used to do?

I used to work for the Metropolitan Police as an admin officer.

Moira, remind us what you like getting up to these days.

I do quite a lot of art work.

I like making my own Christmas cards.

Good stuff. Right, we want words ending -AIR.

Well, I'm going to go for one...

which...

people back home will know why I picked this one - wheelchair.

Wheelchair. Wheelchair, says Moira. Let's see if that's right.

Now, the high scorers are Karl and Ian on 100.

If you can get below 89,

you're through to the next round. There's your red line.

Wheelchair. How many said that?

It's right, and you're through.

3.

Your total is 13. Very well done.

Yeah, very well played, Moira. Wheelchair.

You know what a wheelchair is.

I do.

Sam. Sam, now, welcome back to the show.

Remind us what you do, Sam.

I'm currently training to be a primary school teacher.

And what are your hobbies?

I don't really get up to much, to be honest, which is a bit embarrassing,

but I like to see friends, spend time with my family, and I like to travel.

I went to Marrakesh and New York last year.

What are you talking about?! You get up to lots!

This is all good stuff for getting up to.

Now then, you've had a bit of time to think of things ending in -AIR.

I've tried to go for quite an obvious one,

just to try and get us through, and I've gone for repair.

Repair, says Sam. Repair.

Here is your red line.

Again, you want to be scoring 89 or less to avoid overtaking Karl and Ian.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with repair.

It's right - and you're through.

14.

14 takes your total up to 24.

Well done, Sam.

Very good again. Repair - you know what that means.

I was in despair until you repaired my wheelchair.

LAUGHTER

Yeah. Now then, Hazel.

Welcome to the show.

So how many piers so far have you done?

We've kissed at the end of 60 piers.

And does somebody take a picture of that?

No, we've actually not got many pictures.

It wasn't until we went to the Isle of Man

and we had to ask permission from the Manx government

to kiss on their pier, because it's shut.

It's a no-kissing rule.

Not just on the pier - on the whole of the Isle of Man!

It's shut to the public, because it needs lots of repairs doing.

In return for us kissing on there, they said would it be all right if they brought a journalist along?

And then it went on the internet.

-Really?

-So, after that, we've had enquiries from people saying,

"Have you been to our pier? Can you come back?"

Wow! You've found sponsors for...?

No, no money!

No.

Well, now, what are you going to go for, -AIR?

I think I'm going to go with something I'm allergic to.

Mohair.

Mohair, says Hazel. Mohair. Here comes your red line.

Get below that, you're through. How many of our 100 said mohair?

It's right and you're through.

Well, 3 is our lowest score so far.

5 for mohair.

Takes your total to 12.

Well played. Mohair is the hair of the Angora goat, as you probably well know.

Now, Karl. Oh, Karl!

This pains me, because I have bad news. I had to deliver it to Ian last time.

I've got to deliver it to you this time.

I'm afraid you are the high scorers,

even before you've given your answer.

And your high score...scant reward

for going out and taking the kind of risks we normally love on this show.

Anyway...

I've had plenty of time to think,

so I'm going to...I'll take a slight punt and say debonair.

Oh, good! That was going to be my safe one.

-Mine too!

-So you're saying you've got a risky one?

-Yeah, yeah!

-I look forward to that!

Debonair, says Karl. No red line for you, as you're already the high scorers.

Let's see how many people said debonair.

It's right.

5.

Well done, Karl. Great answer.

105. Well, the roles have been slightly reversed this time.

But I'm really sorry. That pains me. But 105 is your total.

It's a nice way to leave us - it's a good answer.

Comes from the French "de bon air", of good disposition.

Can I say two things? Firstly, congratulations to you

for so nearly saying "unfair"

and avoiding it, which I thought was terrifically well done.

Unfair would have scored 9 points.

And also, just to say to Ian, unimpair -

it's a really genuinely good punt to go for.

If you'd said impair itself, would have scored 3 points.

Yeah, it's a real shame.

-Yeah, that makes him feel better, doesn't it, Ian(?)

-Not much!

-What would you have gone for, then?

-Horsehair.

It's a pointless answer!

APPLAUSE Well done.

That's great. There's only four pointless answers up there as well.

Let's take a look at all four of them.

Deckchair would have been a pointless answer.

Seen a few of those, Jay and Hazel, right?

Horsehair.

Machair, which is a sort of arable land in Scotland near the coast.

And shorthair, as in shorthaired cats and what-have-you.

Let's look at the biggest answers, the ones most of our 100 people said.

Some big scorers here.

67 points for lair.

Hair would have scored you 72,

and right at the top with 74, fair.

Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our first round, the pair heading home, with a high score of 105...

I'm really sorry. It's Karl and Ian.

I think Pointless has been really unkind to you.

I'd go for something a bit stronger myself!

-Can we say hello to Ian's daughter at least, given he's been knocked off twice?

-Yeah.

-Hi, Olivia!

-Hi, Olivia!

I think your dad was unlucky.

So don't give him too much...

I know you'd have done better. I understand that.

But don't give him too much stick.

Anyway, Karl and Ian, it's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much. Brilliant contestants.

Sorry we're saying goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round 2.

So three pairs remain,

and obviously at the end of this round, we'll be saying goodbye to another pair.

Now, Jay and Hazel, our only newcomers for this show,

you've seen off one of the returning pairs.

Just two more pairs for you to see off before you can stroll through to the final.

Sam and Helen, Moira and Stuart,

very well done. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question for Round 2 concerns...

Cities in the USA. Richard.

On each pass, we'll give you six clues to US cities.

Just need you to name us the cities. There'll be 12 in all to have a go at. Good luck.

Thanks, Richard. So we're looking for the names of the cities described by these clues.

Here is our first board of six.

It reads like this...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six clues to six US cities.

Hazel, you go first.

Have you been to America?

No. I'm very, very lucky that I'm going first,

as there's only one on there I know.

City that shares its name with a mythical bird -

-Phoenix.

-Phoenix, says Hazel.

Let's see if Phoenix is right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

49.

Not bad, Hazel.

Yeah, the state capital of Arizona. Phoenix.

It's called Phoenix because it rose from the ashes of another city.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Helen.

-Yes.

-Now then, what are we going to go for?

-Um...

I'm not too sure about a lot of them, so I'm just going to...

guess at Memphis for the location of Elvis Presley's grave.

Memphis, the location of Elvis Presley's grave.

Let's see if Memphis is right. Let's see how many people said Memphis.

Good answer, Helen. 24. Well done.

Even now, 36-odd years after his death,

600,000 people a year visit his grave.

Moira.

You're the last person to have this board. Why don't you talk us through it, if you can?

Well, the top one, that's definitely Los Angeles.

I don't know the second one.

I'm not sure on the fourth one.

I'm hoping the city that houses the Liberty Bell

is Philadelphia.

Philadelphia, says Moira, for the Liberty Bell.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right, Moira. Well done.

24 our lowest score so far.

You've passed that comfortably. 14. Well done.

14 for Philadelphia.

Yeah, it's long been seen as a national symbol

of American liberty and freedom, the Liberty Bell.

But it was cast in Whitechapel in London,

in the Whitechapel Bell Foundry.

Last time it was rung was 1846, for George Washington.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

Los Angeles absolutely is the top one.

That would have scored 43 points.

Would have thought that would score more.

Do you know where Barack Obama was born?

There was a lot of controversy over where he was born in America.

-But he was born in Honolulu.

-Of course - Hawaii!

Absolutely. Would have scored 4 points.

And the best answer on the board

is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is in Cleveland.

Very well done if you said that. 2 points if you said that.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores.

In reverse order, in fact, they come.

Moira and Stuart, well done. Lovely low score of 14 for you.

Then up to 24, where we find Helen and Sam.

And then up to 49, where we find Hazel and Jay.

Jay, you'll be the last person to answer,

but you'll need to give the lowest score

to remain with us for the head-to-head.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board. And here they are.

We have got...

I'll repeat those.

Remember, we are looking for the US cities described by these clues.

Stuart, obviously, you'll try to find the one

you think the fewest of our 100 people knew. You're on 14.

The high scorers are Jay and Hazel on 49. If you score 34 or less,

you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Um...

Geography isn't a strong subject.

But I think the city

of the Red Sox

is...Washington.

Washington. The Washington Red Sox, thinks Stuart.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you're through to the next round.

Let's see if Washington is right and if it is, how many people said it.

Ooh, bad luck, Stuart!

I'm sorry. That's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total to 114.

You might be thinking of the Washington Redskins, Stuart.

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass. Tough luck.

Thanks very much, Richard. Sam.

Sam, you're on 24. The high scorers are Stuart and Moira on 114.

89 or less gets you through to the next round.

OK. I'm going to say - I don't really want to risk it -

so I'm going to say, because I went there last year...

I'm going to say the city

that's home to the Chrysler Building is New York.

New York, says Sam. New York.

Here comes your red line.

Nice and high. If you get below that red line,

you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many people said New York.

It's absolutely right. Well done. You're through.

21.

Not a bad score at all. Well done, Sam.

Takes your total up to 45.

Good work, Sam. For 11 months, it was the tallest building in the world,

and then just down the road they built the Empire State Building, which eclipsed it.

Thanks, Richard. Now, Jay.

You are the last person to play. You're on 49.

The high scorers remain Stuart and Moira on 114.

64 or less sees you comfortably into the head-to-head.

Now, do you want to take us through the board and fill in the blanks?

I'll try.

City in Texas is Dallas.

State capital of New Mexico I think is Mexico City.

I don't know the starting point...

I've got a feeling... No, I wouldn't even guess.

I think I'm going to go for the city that's home to the Red Sox,

which is Boston.

Boston. The Boston Red Sox, says Jay.

Here's your red line.

You get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Boston can get you down there. How many people said it?

It's right.

You've done it. Very well done.

20.

Good answer.

Second-lowest score of the whole round, Jay.

Well done. 69 your total.

Well played, Jay. I think a harder board, this one.

Let's fill them all in.

The city in Texas is Dallas.

Actually would have just seen you knocked out if you'd said it -

66 points.

The state capital of New Mexico.

Mexico City is the capital of Mexico itself.

The state capital of New Mexico is Santa Fe.

1 point. It's one of the oldest cities in America.

There's evidence of European settlement there

about 13 years before the Pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower.

The city that is the eastern starting point of Route 66 is Chicago.

Would have scored 7.

The city in which the Beatles played their first US concert...

I'm sure lots of people will be guessing,

but you'd have done very well

to get it because it's a pointless answer - Washington DC.

No points at all.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid it's Moira and Stuart we have to say goodbye to.

Bad luck, Stuart. That was tough.

It was a tough question, that.

They were both tough boards, actually.

Normally there are more places to hide.

-You had first pick of the board and you went for, in good faith...

-It was a risk.

-It always is.

It's what we generally try and reward,

but I'm afraid on this occasion you made a mistake.

We have to say goodbye to you, Stuart and Moira,

but it's been great having you on the show. Thank you. Stuart and Moira.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Sam and Helen, Jay and Hazel.

You are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £1,000.

To decide which pair is going to play for that money,

you're now going to go head-to-head.

The difference being, now of course you're allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the money.

I think this might be quite a good third round. Best of luck, everyone. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK. Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Women who have played men in films. Richard.

We'll show you five pictures of female actors who have played men in films,

or women who've dressed as men in films.

We just need you to tell us the actors, please. Best of luck.

Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five women who've played men.

And here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five women who have played men in films.

Sam and Helen, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

OK.

We're ready now.

What are you going to go for?

I think we'll go for E, and it's Amanda Bynes.

Amanda Bynes, say Sam and Helen. Amanda Bynes.

Now, Jay and Hazel.

We were really hoping we wouldn't get a films question.

We've got one.

-A is Glenn Close, isn't it?

-Yes.

B is Julie Andrews.

Can't make out C.

I think I ought to know who B is, but I don't.

Go for A.

So we're going to go for A, Glenn Close.

A, Glenn Close. So we have Amanda Bynes and we have Glenn Close.

Sam and Helen said Amanda Bynes. Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Amanda Bynes.

It's good.

Very well done indeed. 4.

4 for Amanda Bynes. That's brilliant.

Jay and Hazel have said A is Glenn Close.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said A, Glenn Close.

It's right.

How far down is it going to go?

It's got a long way to go to beat Amanda Bynes. 27.

27. Very well done. Sam and Helen, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Great start to the head-to-head, Sam and Helen.

It's Amanda Bynes in She's The Man,

which is loosely based on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.

And Glenn Close there plays Albert Nobbs.

She's a woman who dresses as a man to get a job as a butler.

B is Katharine Hepburn.

She would have scored you 17 points.

C is... Do you know C?

Tilda Swinton.

Yes, in Orlando.

That would have scored 3 points.

And D is indeed Julie Andrews in Victor Victoria.

-She would have scored you 55. Big score.

-Big score there.

Thanks, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Jay and Hazel, you get to answer this first, but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Salvador Dali. Richard.

Five clues now to facts about Salvador Dali.

Can you give us the most obscure?

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five facts.

And here they are.

I'll read those one final time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about Salvador Dali.

Jay and Hazel go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK, Jay and Hazel.

We're going to go for the Twilight star. We're really not sure.

Robert Pattinson.

Robert Pattinson, say Jay and Hazel. Robert Pattinson,

the Twilight star who played him in the film Little Ashes.

Now then, Sam and Helen.

-We were going to say that one.

-Do you want to talk us through the board and do your thinking out loud?

-OK.

-We think he was born in Spain.

-Possibly.

-Yes.

-What was the art movement?

-Surrealism.

Um...

Don't know the film.

-The Spanish town, I don't know.

-Barcelona?

Bilbao or something?

Shall we go for the art movement?

Yeah, we'll just do the art movement.

-Surrealism.

-Surrealism. You're going to say Surrealism.

So we have Robert Pattinson and we have Surrealism.

Jay and Hazel said Robert Pattinson. Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Down it goes. 18 for R-Patz.

18. Now, Sam and Helen have gone for Surrealism.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Well, it's right.

Is it going to go down as far? No, it's not.

42.

Doesn't beat 18.

Well done, Jay and Hazel. You're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Robert Pattinson said he learned his Spanish accent from Rafa Benitez when he was manager of Liverpool.

So he had a slightly Scouse Spanish accent in that film.

The country he was born was Spain.

It's a big scorer. Would have scored 60.

The director of the film Spellbound was Hitchcock.

That would have scored 10.

And another answer that would have beaten Robert Pattinson -

his home town is Figueres.

Well done if you said that. 3 points.

It's the best answer up there.

Thanks. So here comes the decider.

Question number three. Whoever wins this question

goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Sam and Helen, you get to answer it first.

The third question concerns...

Famous foodies. Richard.

We'll show you the names of five famous chefs and cookery writers,

but they are in anagram form. Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer?

OK. So let's reveal our five famous foodies. And here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five anagrams of famous foodies.

Sam and Helen, you go first.

We're a bit unsure, so we're going to say the top one, alien owl slang - Nigella Lawson?

Nigella Lawson for alien owl slang.

Nigella Lawson.

Now then, Jay and Hazel, can you talk us through the board?

Email or jive is Jamie Oliver.

And honk me is Ken Hom.

I haven't got a clue on the other two.

Oh, I know the next one.

It's Uncle Nigel - Nigel Slater.

Oh, yes!

Um...

I don't know the last one. Oh, yes, I do.

It's Delia Smith.

Right, we're going to go for...

lean gristle.

Nigel Slater.

Lean gristle, Nigel Slater, say Jay and Hazel.

Nigel Slater.

So we have Nigella Lawson.

Let's see, Sam and Helen, how many people said Nigella Lawson.

It's right.

It's good - look at that. 8 - very well done.

Good work, Sam and Helen. 8 for Nigella Lawson.

And we have Nigel Slater.

Jay and Hazel, let's see how many people said Nigel Slater.

It's right.

It's going to have to beat 8, though,

if you're going to go through to the final.

It's going to be close...

It does! Look at that!

Nigel Slater, 3.

Very, very well done.

Very exciting head-to-head round,

but Jay and Hazel, you go through to the final 2-1

after three questions.

Terrific head-to-head. Best two answers up there.

Hazel, you got every anagram and you chose the only one that would have won you the point.

Jamie Oliver would have scored you 67.

Honk me, Ken Hom, would have scored you 25.

And I hid metals - Delia Smith -

would have scored you 16.

-Very well done if you got all of those at home. I thought those were quite difficult.

-Yeah.

You just said, "Honk me, Ken Hom".

LAUGHTER

Yes, and you know what? Not for the first time.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of the head-to-head, the pair that will be leaving us is Sam and Helen.

But what a brilliant performance from you throughout the show today.

Our lowest scorers coming in to the head-to-head, so no mean achievement, that.

Sorry we have to say goodbye to you. Thanks for playing. Sam and Helen.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Jay and Hazel, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jay and Hazel.

You've seen off all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy. Very well done.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, listen, you've done it.

You have successfully bumped off all the other returning pairs.

Very, very best of luck. As always,

you start off this round by choosing your category.

And here are your four options. They are...

-Adventure stories could be...

-Interesting.

Could be, especially if they were children's adventure stories.

That would be really good.

-Shall we go for adventure stories?

-Go on, then.

Yeah. We'll go for adventure stories.

OK, adventure stories it is.

We're looking for any three of the following, please.

Any of the original 54 novels

that make up Jules Verne's Extraordinary Voyages.

We are looking for any of the 24 main books

in Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan books.

And we're looking for any novels or short stories

featuring Professor Challenger, the Arthur Conan Doyle character.

Any of Jules Verne's Extraordinary Voyages,

any of the Edgar Rice Burroughs Tarzan books

or any of Arthur Conan Doyle's Professor Challenger stories.

Very best of luck.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £1,000 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Remember, the answers you give can be from any of these categories.

It can be three from one category, two from one, one from another.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Jules Verne, I can only think of Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

And however many leagues under the sea it was.

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.

I'm sure he did one about going to the moon as well,

but I can't think what one it is.

Tarzan... Tarzan?

Um...

-Arthur Conan Doyle.

-I've never heard of Professor Challenger.

Who went...who found the lost... the lost world?

Could have been him.

Might have been. It's the only Arthur Conan Doyle one I can really think of.

Um...

-I really don't know the Tarzan books.

-No.

Tarzan Meets Jane?

HAZEL LAUGHS

10 seconds left.

Oh, gosh!

No, I can't think of any others.

We're going to have to stick...

with those three, I think.

OK.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

-Jules Verne, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.

-Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.

-Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

-Journey To The Centre Of The Earth, also from Jules Verne.

Then Arthur Conan Doyle, the only book I can think of

is The Lost World.

-The Lost World.

-Whether that's a Professor Challenger, I don't know.

-OK.

-So, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Lost World.

We'll put that last. Your least likely to be pointless?

Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

We have got...

Very best of luck. Your first answer, the one you thought was least likely to be pointless

was Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

Now obviously, it has to be correct, but if it is pointless,

you'll leave with today's jackpot. So, for £1,000,

let's find out. Is Journey To The Centre Of The Earth one of Jules Verne's Extraordinary Voyages?

It is.

Well, let's see...

..how far down the column this can take you.

Down through the 20s into...

Oh! 18.

APPLAUSE

18. 18.

Not a bad score,

but I'm afraid at this stage of the game, it's only pointless answers that count.

Your second answer was Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.

Now, if this wins the £1,000 jackpot for you,

what would you do with your share of that?

I guess you'd pool it, but what would you do with that?

We've decided we ought to perhaps

go on a foreign holiday,

but maybe somewhere with a pier.

LAUGHTER

We can even take our Pointless trophies with us

and kiss the trophies at the end of the pier.

And maybe send us a picture.

That would be lovely.

You should go to Samoa. The capital of Samoa is Apia.

LAUGHTER

What about that?

That's good.

OK. Now...

Let us find out. Is Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

another of Jules Verne's Extraordinary Voyages?

It is.

So your first answer, Journey To The Centre Of The Earth,

took us down to 18.

Your second answer, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea,

is now taking us down through the 20s,

through the teens...

Oh, not quite into single figures. 10.

This is all moving very much in the right direction.

Very much in the right direction, but obviously, still not a pointless answer.

Everything now riding on your last answer,

which you had no hesitation putting as your final answer.

You thought this was probably your best shot at a pointless.

Let's find out. Your last answer was The Lost World.

Is The Lost World one of Arthur Conan Doyle's Professor Challenger novels? Let's find out.

It is.

It is. So your first answer, Journey To The Centre Of The Earth,

took us down to 18.

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

took us down to 10.

Your last answer, The Lost World,

taking us down to 4.

Very well done, though.

APPLAUSE

Three great answers there.

And you ordered them perfectly.

That was absolutely superb.

You judged that beautifully.

However, very sadly, none of them took you down to pointless,

so I'm afraid you didn't find that all-important pointless answer

that will win you today's jackpot,

which means that £1,000 jackpot rolls over to the next show.

We've loved having you, and you do get to take home a Pointless trophy each. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yes, you played so well,

and to give us three correct answers in that last round was pretty good going.

You mentioned a Jules Verne Extraordinary Voyage about going to the moon.

That was From The Earth To The Moon, but would have scored you 1 point,

so would have prolonged your agony.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Some people will have done well in some categories.

There's 54 Extraordinary Voyages. I might as well read out the only ones that got points.

You've already heard two of them.

You could have had Around The World In Eighty Days, which scored 22.

From The Earth To The Moon, Five Weeks In A Balloon,

Around The Moon and The Survivors Of The Chancellor all scored 1.

Every single other one was pointless, so well done if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the next board.

Tarzan The Invincible would have been pointless.

Tarzan The Terrible, Tarzan's Quest,

The Son Of Tarzan.

You also could have had Tarzan And The City Of Gold,

Tarzan And The Ant Men, Tarzan And The Madman,

Tarzan And The Golden Lion, Tarzan And The Leopard Man.

All of those pointless.

And for Professor Challenger...

The Disintegration Machine was a short story.

These other two were the other two novels

in the Professor Challenger series -

after The Lost World, there's The Land Of Mist and The Poison Belt,

and When The World Screamed was another short story.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Jay and Hazel,

but it's been brilliant having you on the show.

Thank you for playing so brilliantly. Jay and Hazel.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Jay and Hazel didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over on to the next show,

when we'll be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd