Episode 53 Pointless

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much indeed.

I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless where we are always striving to find obscure answers.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-Hi, I'm Craig, this is my friend Julie and we're from County Durham.

-Couple two.

-I'm Jon, this is my housemate George. We're studying at Leeds University.

-Couple three.

-I'm Steve, this is my wife Dianne and we're from Hampshire.

-Couple four.

-I'm Chris, I live in Aberystwyth. My dad Pete lives in Huntingdon.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

We'll find out more about you throughout the show. That leaves one more person to introduce,

a man so clever, his Siri asks him the questions. It's my Pointless friend Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody. Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-It's an unusual occasion on Pointless. We've got four new pairs.

-Yeah, untried.

-I get a bit nervous because I get a bit shy.

We're outnumbered by them. Anything could happen.

-You suspect they may team up?

-They may take over.

-Oh, do you reckon?

-Yeah.

-Physically?

-Yeah.

Steve looks like he could handle himself.

-It's Pete I'm worried about.

-Yeah, I see what you mean.

We always chat to them beforehand. They seemed perfectly nice with a couple of exceptions.

No, they all seemed lovely. I think we'll be fine.

-I think we'll be fine.

-If it kicks off, we'll get some of the audience to help out.

All our questions were put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone wants a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot. Jay and Hazel didn't win the jackpot last time.

-We add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot starts at £2,000.

-APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you, but there's to be no conferring.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will head home.

Our first category today is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Songs featuring "baby" or "babe" in their title. Richard?

-That's nice.

-Very nice. We'll show you seven songs on each pass.

Tell us the act who had a UK Top 40 hit with that song in the year shown.

There'll be 14 in all to have a go at at home.

We want the artists or groups who released these UK Top 40 singles. Here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

Seven songs with "baby" or "babe" in their title.

Craig and Julie, you all drew lots before the show and, today, you go first. Craig, what do you do?

-I'm an IT manager in the NHS.

-Right you are. And what do you do in your spare time, Craig?

I run. I'm a hospital radio volunteer.

-Do you do a show itself?

-Yeah. I do a hospital radio show every Sunday.

-What's it called?

The Sunday Selection.

-Brilliant. And are you allowed to play anything you like?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-Some of those tracks.

-What do you like?

-What do I like?

-Yeah.

-I'm an ABBA fan, I have to admit.

Are you? Favourite ABBA song?

Super Trouper.

-They get a lot of that on Sundays in the hospital?

-They get some of that.

But they get to choose their songs. They can pick what they like to hear.

Now then, Craig, what do you make of this board?

-What do you make of this round? What do you make of this show?

-Yeah.

It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. LAUGHTER

-That's pretty much...

-That is the best review we've ever had.

LAUGHTER

-What will you go for, Craig?

-I've got a few ideas.

But I think I'll go for the bottom one, Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby.

Vanilla Ice, says Craig. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

41.

-APPLAUSE

-41. Not bad.

No.1 for four weeks, Ice Ice Baby. He wrote the first draft in 15 minutes.

He was once the sixth best jet-ski racer in the world, Vanilla Ice.

-Wow!

-Yeah.

-The sixth best?

Yeah. It's not bad and there were eight, so, you know...

-George, welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here. You're a student at Leeds?

-Yeah.

-What year are you in?

-Second year.

-What are you reading?

-Philosophy.

-What do you get up to when you're not doing that?

-We both play quite a lot of football.

I play tennis and we host Pointless parties.

I've hosted plenty of those, certainly.

What happens in your Pointless parties, George?

We normally just sit on the sofa and watch Pointless with a few beers.

It started off... It didn't really hit the heights of popularity we were expecting.

-One or two people turned up, but once they knew we came on the show, we hit the dizzy heights of 25.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

-Really?

-APPLAUSE

-Exactly!

Now, George, we want to know the bands or the artists who had hits with these singles.

I was pretty worried, but now looking at it, I think I know about three of them.

-OK...

-So I'm going to go for Plug In Baby

which is by one of my favourite bands, Muse.

Plug In Baby by Muse. Let's see if Muse is right and how many of our 100 people said Muse.

Very well done. 12.

That's the way to do it.

-Total Guitar magazine readers said the riff at the beginning of Plug In Baby is the best this century.

-Wow!

-It's nice to think a load of Leeds University students watch us.

-I like that.

-Instead of doing any work.

-That's good, isn't it?

-Thanks, Richard.

Steve, welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here. What do you do?

-I'm an engineering officer in the Royal Navy.

-Steve, how did you and Dianne meet?

We met for the first time when we both appeared as contestants on the ITV show Blind Date.

I was a picker on the show and Dianne was one of the girls on one of the stalls.

It didn't go according to plan.

I picked number two and I married number one.

-Aw! I tell you what...

-APPLAUSE

In the long run, though, that is how you're meant to play it.

That way, you don't have to have Cilla at your wedding.

-LAUGHTER

-Wow, that's fantastic! A proper, old blind date.

-Yeah.

-Do you watch the episode back?

No, we don't generally put on the DVD that has me walking off with another girl, I must say.

-LAUGHTER

-But it...

But you know that didn't work. It was the moment you first met.

-It's nice to have that on DVD because I'm hoping most people haven't.

-Enough of this.

What about all these songs with "baby" or "babe" in the title?

Fortunately, the young lads have taken the modern music away,

so I'll go for I Got You Babe and say Sonny and Cher.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Sonny and Cher.

It's right. 41, our highest, 12, our lowest...

62 for Sonny and Cher.

Not bad, though, Steve.

APPLAUSE

Well played. No.1 in 1965. UB40 and Chrissie Hynde also had a big hit with it.

-Now then, Pete, a warm welcome to you.

-Thank you.

-What do you do?

-I'm in the Royal Air Force.

-Where are you based?

At Waddington up in Lincolnshire.

Right you are. What are your hobbies, Pete?

Mostly walking, getting out into the countryside to see National Trust, English Heritage type properties.

Do you have an interest in music?

Yes, I play the guitar. Chris has also learnt to play the guitar and bass.

-Our other son plays the guitar and piano.

-Do you have a kind of band together?

-We seem to have bred our own band.

-You really have.

-We need a drummer now.

Do you play any of these songs?

-No, I don't, sadly.

-Do you know all of these songs?

-Needless to say, I knew the three that have gone.

Frustratingly, Bye Bye Baby, Les McKeown was the lead singer, but I can't remember the name of the band.

Beyond that, I'm a bit stuck.

Love To Love You Baby, I think might be Donna Summer.

Donna Summer for Love To Love You Baby. Let's see if Donna Summer is right and how many people said it.

It's right. 62 is our highest score. 12 is our lowest.

You're past the highs.

Nearly down to our lowest.

Very well done, Pete. You did very well. 16, your score.

Very well played. The full version of that song on the album is over 16 minutes long.

-That's a tough listen.

-That's a lot, isn't it?

It's interesting how the brain works. You can remember Les McKeown

which is much more obscure than the band he was the leader of - The Bay City Rollers.

That would have scored you 46 points, Bye Bye Baby.

Now, Baby, 2010... Do you know that one? It does you great credit if you don't.

LAUGHTER

-It's Justin Bieber.

-There you go.

Hey! Baby was a huge hit when it was covered by DJ Otzi, but the original would have scored you 3 points.

Very well done if you said Bruce Channel, very much the Justin Bieber of his day.

Thank you very much. Let's take a look at the scores.

The lowest score of that pass was 12, George and Jon looking good on the back of that,

then up to 16 where we find Pete and Chris, up to 41, Craig and Julie,

then up to 62, Steve and Dianne.

Dianne, we need a low score from you to make sure you're not leaving us at the end of this round.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

Let's put seven more songs with "babe" or "baby" on the board and here they are.

I'll read those one final time.

We are looking for the artists or groups who released these UK Top 40 singles

and, Chris, you'll find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Chris, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-You're from Aberystwyth. What do you do there?

-I work for a company that sells World War Two surplus and militaria.

-Wow!

-A bit different.

That is a bit different. What are your hobbies?

I play and watch a lot of football. I'm one of the few English people who care about the Welsh Premier League.

I'm quite the Aberystwyth Town fan. I've been to Gap Connah's Quay and back and places like that.

What about this board? You have first pick of this, so use it well.

I'm going to drop in all the cliches and say I would have loved the other board.

I'm going to play fairly safe. I'm going to go for Baby One More Time and Britney Spears.

Britney Spears, says Chris. The high scorers on 62 are Dianne and Steve. You're on 16.

If you can score 45 or less, you are through to the next round.

There's your red line. Let's see how many people said Britney Spears.

Just above it - 50.

-APPLAUSE

-66, your total, Chris.

You might have done enough, Chris. Baby One More Time is a great pop song, written by Max Martin.

That video is shot in the same high school that Grease was shot in.

-It operates as a high school when it's not being used for films and videos?

-Yes.

-That's a good use of resources.

-It is.

Now then, Dianne, you're not the high scorers. You've had a temporary reprieve.

If you can score 3 or less with this answer...

you are guaranteed a place in the next round.

-Dianne, what do you do?

-I'm a legal assistant for a data storage company in Havant.

-What do you like getting up to, Dianne?

-We love being outdoors.

We live near the beach, so we walk a lot on the beach or we go up to the South Downs and the forests.

We like bird-watching and dog-walking. Not our own dogs, our friends' dogs.

-We sort of kidnap them for a while.

-They know about this?

-Oh, yes.

-Phew!

There you are on 62, wanting to score 3 or less. What do you make of this as a board?

OK, I know a couple, but I think I'm just going to take a bit of a risk on the third one down,

Always Be My Baby, and hope...

really hope that it's Mariah Carey.

Mariah Carey, Always Be My Baby. What do you think, Steve?

Not a clue.

OK, helpful(!) Here's your red line. If you get below that, you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Let's see if that is Mariah Carey, how many people said it if it is.

It's right. Well done, Dianne.

12. Good answer.

-APPLAUSE

-74 is your total, Dianne.

Maybe that's enough to save you.

-That's a terrific answer. It's a slightly tougher board than the first one.

-I think it is.

Now then, Jon, welcome to the show. What are you studying at university?

-English Literature.

-Enjoying it?

-Yeah, it's good. Lots of books to read.

-Certainly.

Now then, 12 is what you're on. If you can score 61 or less with this, you're into round two.

This is an awful board. I knew Britney Spears. I was going to guess Always Be My Baby, The Spice Girls,

so I'm glad you said Mariah Carey, otherwise I'd have been in trouble.

I'm really annoyed. Baby Love is on the playlist at work and I hear it every single day.

-What work?

-I work at a restaurant in Leeds.

-Oh, I see, yeah.

So I'm going to guess Baby Love, someone old, '60s, I don't know if she's that old, Dolly Parton.

I think I heard a few sniggers!

LAUGHTER

Dolly Parton... That would be a really good Dolly Parton song - I Think I Heard A Few Sniggers(!)

LAUGHTER

Anyway, there is your red line. If you get below that red line with Dolly Parton...

-I'm a Dutchman!

-LAUGHTER

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck. That's an incorrect answer. It scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 112.

I'm slightly nearer the audience. I thought I heard disappointed gasps, rather than sniggers.

-Julie, you've been thrown a bit of a lifeline there.

-That's been a big help.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-You've been waiting very patiently.

-All the way through this round, you've been good as gold. You stood there quietly.

-I've been behaving.

You haven't conferred with Craig. You've done everything we've asked. What do you do, Julie?

-I'm a professional fund-raiser for the Butterwick Hospice in Bishop Auckland.

-How long for?

-Three years.

-I imagine that's quite rewarding.

-It's difficult, but also rewarding.

-Always trying to find new ways of...

-Always trying to find new ways to get people to jump out of a plane.

-Plenty of ways to get people to do that!

It's getting them up there in the first place. What do you like doing when you're not doing that?

Everything I preach to people, I tend to do myself, so I chuck myself out of planes and run, things like that.

Taking it easy, I like photography and I'm also a volunteer presenter with Craig at hospital radio as well.

-Are you on the Sunday Selection?

-No, I usually do a film show on a Sunday.

Do you get to see all sorts of films?

Yeah, I'm a big film fan.

-I've got a weekly pass or a monthly pass where I can go and see as many films as I want.

-Excellent.

You're the last person to have the board, so talk us through it and try and fill in all those blanks.

It's worked out quite well. I'm not sure about Baby Come Back.

Baby Love, I was trying to sing it in my head.

I have a feeling it might be... I'm not going for this one.

It could be Diana Ross and The Supremes.

But to play safe, I'm going to go with Babe and Take That.

Babe, Take That. Let's see if it's right. You want to score 70 or less. There is your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round. Let's see how many people said Take That.

It's right.

Absolutely, you are through.

11.

-APPLAUSE

-11. 52, your total there, Julie. Very well done.

Well played, Julie.

A huge No.1 single from that year. It sold over 600,000 copies.

And Baby Love from 1964, it was The Supremes. It was a fairly big score. It would have scored you 46 points.

Baby Come Back is The Equals. That would have scored you 7 points.

Let's go down the bottom. Be My Baby was released just before Baby Love,

but a similar band, The Ronettes. It would have scored you 5 points.

Your Baby Ain't Your Baby Anymore is the best answer on the board, from 1974, and it was...

Paul Da Vinci. Very well done if you got that - one point.

-There's a stage name!

-No, that was his real name.

-He was a direct descendant.

-Right, yeah.

-Of Dave Da Vinci.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. After our first round, the pair heading home with their high score of 112,

I'm sorry to say, it's Jon and George.

Exactly. I'm afraid Baby Love, that was... Yes.

Now I've seen it, yeah, I know it's The Supremes.

I just didn't have a chance.

-I half knew a lot of those and I just wouldn't have known them enough to say them, I think.

-Yeah.

Bad luck. I'm sorry. Pointless has been very cruel to you this time,

but we'll see you again next time when I'm sure you'll do much better. Thanks very much, Jon and George!

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Now we're down to three pairs and, at the end of this round, we'll say goodbye to another pair,

and all of you brand-new, so welcome to round two all round!

Julie, best answer of that pass.

Muse was the best answer, but they've gone. After that, it was the Take That answer.

Julie and Craig, the pair to beat on the strength of that first round.

Our category for round two is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many people who have married a descendant of George VI as they could.

Yeah, a recent royalty question, George VI better known these days as Colin Firth(!)

We want anybody who has married one of his direct descendants.

We want their name before they married into the Royal Family,

so we need their first name and surname. Very, very best of luck.

OK, thanks. Now then, Craig...

I'm not really sure on this one, so I'll have to go for a fairly...

well, possibly a poor-scoring one - Sarah Ferguson.

Sarah Ferguson. Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said Sarah Ferguson.

It's right.

32.

-APPLAUSE

-Not a bad answer, Craig. 32.

Yeah, Sarah Ferguson married George VI's grandson, Prince Andrew.

Now then, Dianne. We want the name of anyone who has married a direct descendant of George VI.

OK, it's not a brilliant subject for me, so I'm going to take a bit of a gamble

and hope that Steve can dig us out of it.

I think he married into the Royal Family.

I can't remember who he married. This is going terribly wrong!

-I'm going to say Mike Tindall.

-Mike Tindall, says Dianne.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said Mike Tindall.

No apology needed, Dianne. It's a correct answer.

32, our best score so far. You whizz past that.

6. That's a brilliant answer.

-Very well done indeed, Dianne.

-APPLAUSE

Another great answer. Yeah, he married Zara Phillips.

His great-grandfather was a blacksmith and her great-grandfather was George VI.

Thanks very much. Now, Chris...

Do you accept two halves of answers? I've got loads of first names and surnames.

Can I put them together into one new super-monarch?

Super-consort...

Yeah.

I'm going to have to...

Sorry. I just have to say "no". Sorry.

I had a cracking name as well.

I'll have to go for the one that everyone's thinking, just to give my dad a fighting chance.

I'm going to go for Kate Middleton.

-To give your dad a fighting chance?

-LAUGHTER

-You mean to make your dad squirm?

-Yes.

Kate Middleton, says Chris. To give him a mountain to climb, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Kate Middleton.

It's right.

Not bad. 42.

-Not bad at all, Chris.

-I'll take that.

That could have been a lot worse, Chris. Well done.

The pub near me changed its name to The Duchess Of Cambridge within two days of that wedding.

-That's pretty good going.

-Yeah.

-They didn't change anything else, but they changed the name.

Let's have a look at those scores. 6, Dianne, the best score of the pass by a margin,

then up to 32 where we find Craig and Julie, then up to 42 where we find Chris and Pete.

Pete, not such a hole to climb out of after Chris's answer of Kate Middleton, but you are in the lead,

so we need a low-scoring answer from you to keep you in the game.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Remember, Pete, we're looking for the names of anyone who has married a descendant of George VI.

You're on 42. You're the high scorers, so it's got to be a low score.

-I'll go for Captain Mark Phillips.

-Captain Mark Phillips, says Pete.

Let's see how many people said Captain Mark Phillips.

It's right.

26.

APPLAUSE

26 takes your total up to 68.

-You've given yourself a chance. He married his granddaughter, Princess Anne.

-Thanks very much.

Now, Steve, you're on 6. Brilliant effort from Dianne in the first pass.

The high scorers are Pete and Chris on 68. 61 or less sees you through to the next round.

OK, not a brilliant subject, but I do work for the Queen.

LAUGHTER

-I'm going to say Camilla Parker Bowles.

-Here's your red line.

Get below that with Camilla Parker Bowles

and you're through to the next round. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

19.

APPLAUSE

-19 takes your total up to 25.

-Good play there on podium three.

-She'll be the Princess Consort if Charles ever becomes King.

-That's a catchy title.

-Sounds like a car.

-Exactly. Or a caravan.

-The new Princess Consort!

-Good stuff. Thanks very much.

Now then, Julie, you're on 32. You want to score 35 or less with this answer

to avoid leaving us at the end of the round.

-No, you're shaking your head! This is not going to be a Take That moment.

-No, I'm afraid not.

Now then, talk us through your answers if you like.

Well, I know there's Princess Diana.

I know everybody by a Prince or Princess.

And I can't remember Princess Diana's surname.

I think it was Andrew, um...

OK, Diana Andrews.

-Diana Andrews?

-Hmm.

OK, let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Diana Andrews.

No.

Bad luck, Julie. An incorrect answer scoring you 100 points. That takes your total up to 132.

It's one of those things sometimes, just under the lights. I know you know the name.

-It's Diana Spencer.

-Spencer.

-It would have scored you 49 points, so it would have seen you knocked out.

-There's three pointless answers. Let's take a look at them.

-Go on.

Don't look, don't look, cos you'll be good at this.

You've probably been to most of these weddings.

LAUGHTER

Serena Stanhope.

-Serena Stanhope married Viscount Linley. That was a pointless answer.

-Get in there!

APPLAUSE

-Daniel Chatto, is it?

-Daniel Chatto, yeah. Well done. That's a pointless answer as well.

-Get in there!

APPLAUSE

And I know who the other pointless one will be...

A lot of people didn't go on his stag do, so they probably wouldn't have got it.

-The other one will be the model who married Peter Phillips.

-Yeah.

She is called August...Autumn...

-Autumn...

-It's Autumn Kelly. Those were the three pointless answers. Well done if you said any of them.

I'll give you some other scorers. You could have had Tim Lawrence for 3 points,

Antony Armstrong-Jones for 10, Sophie Rhys-Jones, 11. Let's take a look at the top three now.

You've got Catherine Middleton, Kate Middleton, 42,

Philip Mountbatten, 46, Prince Philip, of course,

and there's Diana Spencer at the top - 49 points.

Good round for you there.

-I played this royal correspondent on Armstrong And Miller, so I learned all the names.

-With an Irish accent.

-That's right, Terry Devlin, who was the royal correspondent.

-LAUGHTER

-He just knew everyone.

-That's very good.

-Thanks very much.

At the end of our second round, the couple heading home, it's Julie and Craig with a high score of 132.

Bad luck, Julie. It's some consolation that it was still quite a high score.

We'll see you again next time. Thanks very much for playing, Julie and Craig!

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head round.

Congratulations, Steve and Dianne, Chris and Pete, you are one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

To decide who plays for that money, you now go head-to-head. You are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Capital cities and their rivers. Richard?

-We'll show you five pictures of capital cities.

Tell us the river that is in each picture. Best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five capital cities and here they are.

There we are, five capital cities and their rivers.

Steve and Dianne, you get to go first as you've played best throughout the show so far.

WHISPERING

OK, we're going to have to play safe

and hope that the others fall at the first fence

and say C is the Seine.

C, the Seine. C, the Seine.

Chris and Pete, the board is all yours. Can you talk us through it?

-Er...no. Um...

-LAUGHTER

We don't really know.

We knew C. We know D is obviously London.

We don't recognise any other cities,

but we're probably going to plunge for..."A"?

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-A, the Danube.

-A, the Danube.

A, the Danube. OK, so we have the Seine versus the Danube.

Steve and Dianne said the Seine. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It is right.

56.

APPLAUSE

Chris and Pete have gone for the Danube. What was it that made you think Danube?

-What were the features, the landmarks?

-The big, wet thing in the middle, really.

LAUGHTER

-APPLAUSE

-No, no, no.

Yes, I... Yeah, apart from that. I mean, what were the...

We have no idea on any of the other cities and Paris would beat London.

-But something made you say Danube.

-The size of the river.

-OK.

-And East European architecture.

OK, you've gone for the Danube. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Because it's right. That wet thing in the middle is indeed the Danube

and it wins you the point.

9.

APPLAUSE

Very well said, Chris and Pete. That wins you the point. After one question, you're up one-nil.

-That's a terrific answer. Very well done. Any ideas on that city?

-Nope.

-No.

-That is Budapest.

Very well done. Now, B is another low scorer.

Lots of people at home will know this. It's the Liffey that flows through Dublin.

5 points if you said that.

-D, obviously, is London. Only got 71 points though.

-Wow.

-The Thames.

-Wow!

And E is a pointless answer.

Well, the city is Cairo,

so the river is the Nile.

A pointless answer. Well done if you said that.

Your second question. Steve and Dianne, Chris and Pete answer first,

but you have to win this one to stay in the game. Best of luck. It concerns...

-Richard?

-We're going to show you the names of five Shakespeare comedies now,

but we'll only give you the number of letters in each word of that comedy.

Can you decipher these clues and work out the comedies?

Let's reveal our five Shakespeare comedies and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Chris and Pete, you go first. I'll give you a little while.

-I only know the bottom two.

-WHISPERING

-We think we know which one we're going to go for.

-OK.

-Do you want to go for it?

-Yeah, we'll go for the middle one - The Merry Wives Of Windsor.

3, 5, 5, 2, 7, The Merry Wives Of Windsor, say Chris and Pete.

Steve and Dianne, do you want to talk us through the board?

Yes, I'd be delighted(!)

We only know one and, fortunately, it wasn't the one they picked.

We'll go for the fourth one down - A Midsummer Night's Dream.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, 1, 9, 6, 5. OK, The Merry Wives Of Windsor versus A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Let's see if The Merry Wives Of Windsor is right and how many people said it if it is.

It's absolutely right.

Yeah, that's a nice, low score.

Look at that! Very well done. 11.

APPLAUSE

Steve and Dianne, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, you've gone for. Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

-66.

-APPLAUSE

Well done. Chris and Pete, after only two questions, you're through to the final two-nil.

It seems dauntingly impossible at first look, but when you think about Shakespeare plays,

suddenly, you can sort of relax.

But hard, though. Well done to anyone who got all five of them. Do you think you got any of these?

-I've got all bar one. I'll get the other one in a second.

-Which one have you not got?

-The top one.

-We'll do that last. The second one is?

-Much Ado About Nothing.

-Yes, that would have scored 30 points.

-The bottom one is the only one that would have beaten The Merry Wives Of Windsor.

-All's Well That Ends Well.

Yeah, it would have scored you 7 points. And the top one?

-34 points for...

-Oh, I know. As You Like It.

Yeah, 34 points. Very well done to anyone who got all five of those.

At the end of our head-to-head round, the pair leaving us... Steve and Dianne, you've played so well.

You were hot favourites as we went into this round and you leave without a point on your board,

but the good news is we get to see you again next time. We'll look forward to that very much indeed.

-Thanks very much for playing, Steve and Dianne!

-APPLAUSE

But for Chris and Pete, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Chris and Pete. You've fought off the competition

-and won our coveted Pointless trophy. Well done.

-Thank you.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end of today's show, it stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

-We've put you through your paces. You had songs with "babe" and "baby" in the title.

-It's been a mix.

You had people who married into the Royal Family, rivers and Shakespeare comedies.

Yeah, cruised through it. You made that head-to-head look embarrassingly easy.

-There was a lot of luck on the Danube.

-Really?

-It's my favourite river in the world.

-It is now, yeah.

-More than the Bangui.

-The Ubangi in Bangui.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Football, we're both pretty strong at.

Geography, you know, countries and capital cities, stuff like that, we've got shoved in our brain.

As always, you start this round off by choosing a category and here are your four options.

I'll be proud to rely on my dad here. We're both very good at sport. It's more his generation than mine.

-Just.

-But yeah, we're going to go for 1970s Sport.

OK, 1970s Sport, it is. Richard?

We'll give you three categories. You can choose from any of these.

Any English cricket Test centurion, any captain of the Welsh rugby union team

or any Formula One Grand Prix winner from the 1970s. Best of luck.

Thanks very much. You've got up to a minute to come up with three answers

and to win that jackpot of £2,000, just one of those answers has to be pointless.

Your answers can come from any of these categories - one from each, two from one, one from another,

-however you like. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-You've got to be...

-Cricket centurions, we've got David Steele

because he came in the middle of one Test and scored a load of runs. He saved the Test.

-We'll go for David Steele.

-OK.

-I'm not really sure on the others. Do you know any Grand Prix drivers?

-Yeah, but not...

-Emerson Fittipaldi.

-And James Hunt. I can't think of...

-For anyone else, I wouldn't be confident they were in the '70s.

Other ones might be Derek Randall. He's bound to have got 100 and he was quite a while ago.

Who have we got? Wicket-keeper, Alan Knott. I'm just trying to think of any bowlers.

Chris Old, I wouldn't be surprised if he got a century at some point. He could use a bat.

We've got David Steele, Chris Old and if I can think of somebody other than Derek Randall...

-Nearly ten seconds left.

-Ten seconds left.

Would Derek Underwood have got one? Probably not.

We'll probably go for those three - Randall, Old and...

-Steele.

-Steele.

-That's your time up. I now need your three answers.

-We've got David Steele.

-David Steele.

-Chris Old.

-Chris Old.

-And Derek Randall.

-And Derek Randall.

-They are from...?

-English cricket Test centurions.

-English cricket Test centurions from the '70s.

Of those three, which is your best crack at a pointless answer?

-David Steele.

-David Steele we'll put last.

-Your least likely?

-Derek Randall.

-Derek Randall we'll put first.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are.

Very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Derek Randall.

This was the one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

Only one answer has to be pointless to win the jackpot of £2,000. Chris, what would you do with your share?

I'd like to go on some weekends away to see some European cities,

-so it'd be wrong not to go to Budapest now.

-You should.

-Pete, how about you?

-We're all big Man City fans, so maybe a VIP day out to watch a game.

Best of luck. Your first answer, Derek Randall, if it's right and pointless, you will win the jackpot.

Is Derek Randall an English Test centurion?

Absolutely right. That was the first thing it had to be.

If this goes down to zero, you will leave here with £2,000.

Down Derek Randall goes into single figures, still going down.

You've done it!

CHEERING

What about that? Very well done indeed.

Very, very well done. That's fantastic.

Good work.

Well, congratulations.

Derek Randall was a pointless answer, which means you leave here with a jackpot of £2,000.

-Very well done indeed.

-APPLAUSE

Neatly done, sir. Richard, what about that?

I knew you were going to do it. You've been brilliant from the start.

Chris Old would have been an incorrect answer. He never scored a Test century.

-David Steele was another pointless answer.

-APPLAUSE

In your 60 seconds, you also mentioned Alan Knott who was also a pointless answer,

so it would have been a clean sweep if you'd said him.

Let's look at some more pointless answers. You'll recognise these, as will some people at home.

Derek Randall scored seven Test centuries - 174 against the Aussies his biggest score.

You could also have had Bob Woolmer, Brian Luckhurst, Clive Radley,

Dennis Amiss, John Edrich, Tony Lewis, all pointless.

Let's take a look at the Welsh rugby union captains - Arthur Lewis,

Delme Thomas, John Lloyd, Mervyn Davies, also pointless. Well done if you said any of those at home.

Lots of people like their Formula One, so let's go through some of these.

There's a few more on the list - Carlos Reutemann, Clay Regazzoni, Gunnar Nilsson, Jacques Laffite,

Jochen Mass, John Watson or Alan Jones. Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Terrific work in the studio. That was lovely to watch.

-Thank you.

Thanks again to our winning players, Chris and Pete, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time on Pointless. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd