Episode 4 Snog Marry Avoid?

# When I grow up I wanna be famous

# I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies

# When I grow up I wanna see the world

# Drive nice cars I wanna have groupies... #

Most of us have employed the art of fakery at some point.

The odd dab of concealer here, false eyelash there...

But some girls just don't know when to stop.

They're addicted to fake nails, orange tan and skimpy outfits,

but underneath there's some natural beauties just dying to get out.

These girls don't need a make-over, they need a make-under.

Welcome to the world's first, original and best make-under show!

This is POD, your Personal Overhaul Device. Hello, POD!

-Hello, The Frost.

-Are you ready to face some fakery?

I'm always ready. I will not rest until the slap-obsessed girls

of the UK give up the make-up and ditch the fake tan.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm here to help, but I'm going to be nicer than you.

Whatever you say, Frost. Either way, the slap is coming off.

Coming up on tonight's show...

Cleavage out, bum out. Love all that.

Natural beauty, what's that?

There's no such thing!

I'm into looking different from the rest of the crowd.

A kinda Gothic, Geisha look.

Tonight, two girls and a prickly little pixie will experience

the magic of a make-under.

-Well, are you ready for your first victim?

-Bring it on, Jenny Frost!

Well, first up, she's young, free and single, blonde and bubbly...

It's Danielle. She's got a lot of front.

Loading background data...

I'm Danielle Mason and it's all about the glamour.

I'm a model/actress.

I think the key to a show-stopping dress is either cleavage or legs.

But you shouldn't really do both... even though I do.

Cleavage out, bum out. Love all that.

I've got quite big boobs so it's kind of hard to hide them.

Oh, my nipple's just fallen out!

I'm up for it!

Pump up the make-up, girl.

You can never get enough foundation.

And when you're in a dark club you can't see it so you can whack it on!

Need a paintbrush, really.

Once you start wearing false eyelashes, you just get addicted.

A bit like a drug addiction, I suppose, but with eyelashes.

I'm all for natural beauty... Just natural beauty with long eyelashes.

I think her image betrays a lot of confidence,

that probably she hasn't got.

Can you tell they're extensions, at the back?

You can look but you can't touch, boys, cos it'll fall apart!

I'm single at the moment, looking to meet a nice guy that's not a player.

Looking at some fit men!

I'm not gonna lie, what girl doesn't like attention, getting dressed up?

If she can get more confidence

in herself by appreciating her natural beauty,

then that would be fabulous.

Time to go home. I am out for the count.

-Hello, Danielle.

-Hello!

Thank you for coming today. What are you wearing under this jacket?

Let me see.

# Da, da, ta-dah, ba-boom! #

-Whoa!

-It's a bit burlesque.

-Sexy, saucy.

When you wear this to go clubbing, what attention do you get off guys?

I bet they're falling over themselves.

Yeah, you do get a lot of attention.

I'm a bit self-conscious at first,

but once I've had a few drinks, I'm all right.

What do you think POD's gonna pick on you for?

POD will pick on me for my false eyelashes, my fake tan

-and my fake hair!

-Right, Danielle, good luck in POD.

I know you'll be fabulous, and I'll see you on the other side.

I am POD, who are you?

I'm Danielle Mason.

Did you forget to put your skirt on?

I did forget to put my skirt on, yeah. You gonna spank me?

If I had any arms, I would!

-Urgh...

-You seem to be having some trouble there.

It's cos it's so tight,

-just push my nipples in.

-Thank you, I've seen quite enough already.

I can't help if I've got big boobies, can I, POD?

You can help getting them out at every available opportunity.

Well, POD, you know what... Loser!

-You'll pay for that later.

-You're boring.

You're trashy.

What kind of men do you attract with such a charming laugh?

-Usually naughty ones.

-That IS a surprise(!)

Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

I've come to POD for a make-under because I'd like to attract guys

like Prince William and Harry.

Do you think the heirs to the throne would like your look?

-I think Harry would.

-Do you think you'd be a good queen?

-I'd love to be the Queen of England.

-What would do if you were Queen?

I'd tell them all to put their hot pants on and people are only

-allowed out in bra and knickers.

-POD thinks you'd make a great queen -

a drag queen.

-Danielle?

-Yes?

-What do you think about natural beauty?

I think natural beauty's lovely...

if you're naturally beautiful.

-Are you naturally beautiful?

-No.

POD completely disagrees.

Under all that slap is a stunning natural beauty.

It's time to find out what the public think of your look.

Oh my God, are you gonna show me?

Yes. Run phase one, public analysis.

I asked the public, "Is she a bright spark... a little bit dim...

-"the lights are on but nobody's home?"

-Oh, no!

A bright spark.

-Play.

-Lights are on but nobody's home.

Lights are on but nobody's home.

-Lights are on but nobody's in. And she looks a bit stupid.

-Right...

Incorrect. 40% - that's the majority

of the people we asked - think the lights are on but nobody's home.

-Is anyone home, Danielle?

-Yes, me!

The next question I asked was, "Would you want to snog,

"marry or avoid her?"

Ahh, this is so cruel.

I think they'll wanna marry me.

-Play.

-Not marriage material.

-Avoid her, cos she's too dirty.

-She's beautiful,

-so I ain't gonna avoid her.

-Incorrect. No one wanted

to marry you. 55% - that's the majority - wanted to avoid you.

-Really? No one wanted to marry?

-No.

You boys just don't know what you're missing!

-We can all see just what they're missing.

-Don't be rude.

-How are you feeling about what they said?

-A bit annoyed.

I wanted more people to want to marry me, not avoid me.

I'm here to help you get those numbers up. Ready for my verdict?

-Go on, then.

-You are a plastic princess who will never get a prince

looking like you do,

and you will undergo my brassy-to-classy make-under.

Here is your make-under menu...

Choose a new hair colour...

Golden Blonde, Dark Chocolate, Vibrant Copper, Ebony.

Ahh, this is the hard question.

Can we come back to that?

-No. Choose now.

-Ahh, ahh...um...

..Dark Chocolate.

Now choose a celebrity style...

Anne Hathaway, Scarlett Johansson, Mischa Barton, Holly Whilloughby.

Mishcha Barton dresses quite cool... Mischa Barton.

Before I can process your style choices, I need you to remove

all that disgusting slap from your face.

Are you ready to take the first step on the path to natural beauty?

-I'm gonna have to, aren't I?

-Yes.

I don't wanna take it off.

Tough! Run phase two, deep cleanse.

-Please put on your deep-cleanse uniform.

-Oh, I'm scared.

-You can do it.

-Hi, boys, do you rate me now?!

They'll rate you much better without all that slap. Remove it.

Now take off all that foundation.

No, you can't do that to me!

-I think you'll find I can.

-No-o-o-o!

I really don't wanna take my make-up off.

I cannot complete the make-under if you don't.

-You already look much better. How are you feeling?

-Urgh! Awful.

Will you let POD make you feel better? Are you ready, Danielle?

-Yes.

-Say goodbye to the old you!

-Bye!

-Run phase three, the make-under.

Oh, my God!

It doesn't look like me.

I love it! It's so different.

POD thinks you look stunning.

I love it!

I feel like... I look like Jesse Wallace now.

-Well, she IS your sister!

-Yeah!

What is your favourite element of your new look?

Um, my hair...

and my dress and my shoes are lovely.

I seriously love my hair.

POD thinks this hair makes you look very elegant.

-I'm a lady!

-Do you think you could bag a prince now?

Yes, I think I could.

I'll give that Katie girl a run for her money, won't I, now?

-Yes.

-Hello, Prince Willy.

Shall we see what your public think of your new look, ma'am?

-Go on, then.

-Before, I asked the public

if they wanted to snog, marry or avoid you.

Let's see what they'd do now. Play.

I think she's fabulous because she's natural.

She looks like marriage material.

I'd be proud to take her home to my mum.

She looks quite friendly and wholesome.

Now 40% of the men we asked wanted to snog you, and the rest

-wanted to marry you.

-Really? Are you sure you're not lying?

POD never lies.

Aw! Thank you.

Here is your natural beauty data.

Brown hair brings out the colour in green or blue eyes, but if you have

dark eyes, you should never dye your hair darker than your eye colour.

Young skin does not need a lot of make-up, a tinted moisturiser

works well to even skin out without the need for heavy foundation.

-Are you going to keep this new, natural look?

-Definitely.

I'm definitely gonna keep it.

-I might be partial to a couple of false eye lashes.

-No, Danielle, no!

Has natural beauty been achieved?

Umm, yeah,

I definitely feel a lot more natural than before, definitely.

Do you feel more beautiful?

I'm not saying! I'm not gonna blow my own trumpet, am I?

Then POD will blow it for you. FANFARE

You are a stunning natural beauty, Danielle.

Thank you very much, POD.

POD computes your make-under has been a complete success.

Natural beauty has been restored.

-It has, thank you.

-Goodbye, Danielle.

Goodbye.

God, Danielle, you look lovely!

Turn round.

That is lovely. Your make-up looks really natural.

-Aren't you pleased?

-I'm really pleased. I love my hair.

It looks really lovely, Danielle.

Wow, what a difference that hair made.

I just love Danielle as a brunette, but will she keep it up?

We'll find out later in the show.

Danielle's not the only one who needs to rein it in a bit.

Some of you out there are just as bad, if not worse!

-Glitter...

-And loads of...

-..and fake tan. Fake tan.

Best technique for fake tan? From the bottom upwards.

Use a belt. The belt is really good.

If you blend two foundations together, you won't look orange.

You'll have a really natural-looking foundation base.

I put dye on my hair and fell asleep,

and I woke up and realised, "Jesus, I've left my bloody hair dye in!"

It's all fake. The faker the better, that's what I say!

Next into POD was the outrageous Jay,

whose skimpy style was, quite frankly, pants.

My style, I would describe it as trashy.

# Cos you're filthy

# Ooh, and I'm gorgeous... #

Is there a word to describe Jay's style?

Erm...

Mimalist, which... How do you say it?

Mimamalist.

Mimamalist.

Embarrassing!

My son Harry gets embarrassed with my look cos I'm quite outrageous.

I'm not your kind of regular kind of mum.

I just stand out, and he doesn't like that.

Natural beauty, what's that?

I love my boobs. Best five grand I've ever spent.

Had Botox yesterday, had my lips done.

Have three sunbeds a week.

We love it!

This is the first layer. There's about 20 layers to go!

Ta-dah! A beauty spot.

I'm doing a Britney Spears tonight.

Ah!

I'm ripping, my boobs are too big.

# ..I'm not that innocent... #

I'm ready to party!

# ..I think I did it again... #

I was dancing...

and my trousers split.

Being made under will just make Jade realise that she doesn't have to do

what she does to get noticed.

Fake or natural? Fake every time.

..Ooh!

-Hello, how are you today?

-I'm good, thank you.

I need to see this outfit, first and foremost. Go on, give us a twirl!

What d'you think?

Wow! Have you got any underwear on under that, lady?

I haven't. You can't wear knickers with these.

What do you think POD's gonna pick on you for?

POD's gonna pick on me for my hair, probably.

And my make-up, cos I wear too much make-up.

What one thing will you find hard to live without after the make-under?

I think losing my blonde.

Are you nervous, excited? How are you feeling?

I'm excited. Really excited.

I can't wait to see the make-under.

I'm sure you'll look fabulous, and I hope you love it.

So good luck!

-I am POD, who are you?

-I'm Jay Nicholls.

-What in POD's name are you wearing?

-Don't you like the skimpy look, POD?

No Jay, I don't.

-I've got no knickers on.

-Is that really something to be proud of?

You really don't like it, do you?

I really don't, no.

What do you think of natural beauty?

There's no such thing as natural beauty, babe.

POD completely disagrees.

Just how fake are you?

These are fake,

my hair is pretty much fake,

my lips are fake, my eyelashes are fake,

my nails are fake, my tan is fake.

-Everything else is pretty much... My eyes are my own.

-Well done(!)

According to my beauty files, you haven't always been this fake.

Babe, what would you rather? See me like that or like this?

-That is horrific.

-My files tell me you have a son, Harry.

What does he think of your look?

-He thinks I'm chavvy.

-I can't imagine why!

-What do you wear to parents' evening?

-My curlers.

I'd rather make parents' evening in my curlers than not make it at all.

POD admires your commitment to your son, but not to your fakery.

-Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

-I want a change.

I'm fed up of the way I'm looking. My son is very embarrassed.

I want to be taken more seriously. I want more respect.

-I still want them to go "phwoar".

-I will see what I can do about that.

Run phase one. Public analysis.

-I asked the public how old is she?

-Oh no! This is going to be horrid.

This is going to upset me more than anything.

Is she 28, 34 or 40?

If they say 40, I'm gonna go mental. OK, 40.

Play.

I think she's 34 but I think she's trying to look 28.

I think she looks like she's 40.

I think 40 because it seems she's making an effort to look younger.

-Oh dear, OK.

-Correct. 50% of the public think you look 40.

-Really(?)

Yes. The next question I asked was, would you snog, marry or avoid her?

-Avoid.

-Play.

I would definitely avoid her.

I'd avoid her because she looks a bit too much like a doll model.

She looks like a man.

25% wanted to snog you.

-Oh, only 25?

-No-one wanted to marry you.

I'm not the marrying type, no.

75% wanted to avoid you completely.

-All right, fair enough.

-Having heard the public's comments,

-do you still want a make-under?

-Yeah, let's go for it. I'm all yours.

Oh, my POD, are you ready for my verdict?

Yeah I'm listening. Don't be too mean.

You are a plastic, fantastic, crispy, curly, naked lady,

and you will undergo my slummy-mummy to yummy-mummy make-under.

Here is your make-under menu.

Choose a new hair colour.

Golden blonde, chocolate caramel, vibrant copper, ebony.

-Chocolate caramel.

-Choose a celebrity style.

Kate Winslet, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Moss, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwyneth Paltrow's boring, Jennifer Aniston is boring,

Kate Winslet is just boring.

Oh, I'll have to be Kate. Oh, I don't like any of them, babe.

Hurry up.

Kate Moss, then.

Your current format is incompatible with my beauty programme.

POD can only work with a clean slate, a blank canvas,

a well-scrubbed surface.

You're making me take it off, aren't you?

Yes, Run phase two. Deep cleanse.

-Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

-Oh, this very posh.

-It's like being in a hotel.

-Don't get too comfortable.

SHE LAUGHS

I look like a fortune teller!

-Can you see that in the future you will be a natural beauty?

-Ooh!

Remove all that slap.

-We'll be here all day.

-Show me those pads.

Urgh, that is just wrong, isn't it?

Yes, very wrong.

How are you feeling about seeing the new you?

I am really excited actually. Really.

Run phase three. The make-under.

Ah, my God!

Oh, my God, how different do I look?

-Do you like it?

-I don't know.

POD thinks you look utterly stunning.

Really? I'm just a bit shocked, I think.

-A bit more makeup might have been a bit better.

-No, Jay, no.

-You look 100% better without the slap.

-It's growing on me.

It's a bit of a shock to the system at first,

because it is a big change.

POD has left you with a bit of your trademark cleavage.

That's not a cleavage.

-If I...?

-Don't do it, Jay.

Just a little bit. That's better.

Put them away, Jay.

How do you feel as a natural beauty?

The more I stand here, the more I get used to it,

the more I think I do actually like that.

But people are going to be so shocked.

-What do think your mum will say?

-I don't know, I really don't know.

Shall we see what the public have to say?

Yeah. I'll be interested to know what they say, actually.

Previously I asked the public,

would you want to snog, marry or avoid her?

Let's see what they would do now.

-Play.

-I would snog her,

because she's a really attractive, good looking girl.

I would marry her because she looks like a nice, conservative girl.

I would snog this girl because she looks naturally outgoing

and quite confident in herself.

90% of the public now want to snog you, and the rest want to marry you.

-Really! No avoid?

-Not one.

I also asked, is she 28, 34 or 40?

-Play.

-I think she's 28.

I think she looks 28 because she looks naturally younger.

I thinks he's 28.

She has a youthful glow about her. She's very attractive.

Now 40% of the people we asked think you look 28.

-Really?

-Yes, and the rest think you look your age, 34.

OK, no 40s at all?

None. How does that make you feel?

It amazes me. It has really amazed me.

Would you like to know how I achieved your new, stunning look?

-Go on then, yes, go on then.

-Covering up can still be sexy,

showing a hint of cleavage, leaving something to the imagination.

When you go from blonde to brunette, it's important to keep warm tones.

Will you be keeping any of your new natural look?

To be honest, I wouldn't go back now.

It's an end of an era and a new start for me.

I've put the old Jay to rest now.

So has the make-under changed you for good?

If it wasn't for me coming in here, I wouldn't have done it.

I'd have been too scared to take the plunge.

I've been hiding behind that for so long.

So no more flashing your bits then?

No, well, I can't help it if I'm drunk.

POD is going to ignore that.

What emotion are you registering?

I am very, very happy, POD.

I didn't think I would be.

I thought I'd be hating you,

but yeah, you've helped me achieve my new start to my new life.

POD is very proud of you and thinks your son will be too.

I think he will absolutely love it, bless him. He'll want me to come

to parents' evening now. You'll make me emotional.

-You're going to make me cry.

-POD doesn't want your makeup to run.

No, don't ruin the makeup.

POD computes your make-under has been a complete success.

Thank you, I've enjoyed every minute of it, babe.

-Goodbye.

-Bye bye, darling.

God! You look wonderful.

Do you like it really?

I think you look...younger!

I think that's really... I can't believe it!

It makes you look healthier.

It's shiny. It's... And it's like I've got my little girl back again!

-It looks good.

-Do you like it?

-Really good.

Oh my POD, what a transformation!

She looked amazing. I really hope she keeps it up.

We'll be finding out later on in the show if she does.

Now, so all you lot out there can look gorgeous too,

I've been trying out some of your very own beauty tips.

This one's an oldie but a goodie.

If you're in a big rush or you're like me and you hate ironing,

all you do is you pop your clothing in the shower with you

while you're getting ready.

Turn on the shower and the steam will wash your creases away.

And the lazy girl's ironing is all done.

Right, no creases. Ready to go!

There you have it. Steamed and pristine.

I'm ready to party.

Do you remember the lovely blonde turned brunette,

Danielle, from earlier on?

Let's meet her now and see if she kept with the brunette locks

or she's gone back to her blonde ways. Oh, Danielle!

She is brunette still.

How are you, sweetheart?

Demure clothes, natural makeup and still a brunette. Come and sit down.

First things first, tell me, is the look staying?

Yeah, it will be staying. You get taken more seriously, I think.

Well, I get taken more seriously dressed like this

than I would in corsets and things,

so yeah, I'm going to keep it.

Is there anything from before

that you found it really difficult to live without?

I still wear my fake tan!

But, the hair and everything, no.

I feel more comfortable dressed down

rather than dressed in corsets and things like that.

POD said you're a natural beauty, which I think you are.

But you were kind of reluctant to agree.

Do you feel a natural beauty now?

I definitely feel a lot more natural.

I think my confidence has been boosted a lot.

And I'm definitely more confident probably going out without makeup.

So, will you say, Danielle, "I am a natural beauty"?

-I am a natural beauty!

-Yay!

You made me laugh when you were saying you wanted

-to be the Queen of England. Have you spoken to the princes?

-I haven't!

I'm still hoping to get hold of the Prince's willy - Prince Willy!

Well, I love you as a brunette.

With the less makeup, we think you look very pretty and very natural.

So, I think well done, POD.

-Job well done.

-Thanks, POD!

Next to face the wrath of POD was a pretty little pixie

with a bag full of attitude.

I am POD, what are you?

I'm Pixie and I'm not what!

I'm a person.

POD has met an elf but has never met a pixie before.

First time for everything.

-Pixie?

-Yeah.

-Please describe your look to POD.

My hair and face is more kind of gothic geisha.

So, you're a pixie gothic geisha?

No, I'm just saying that my outfit at the moment looks a bit goth.

Do you like to shock people with your look?

I love to shock people, I love it.

Have you ever scared anyone?

Actually that's funny, I was in the tube in Camden and I saw a mouse

and every time I looked at it, it went back in its hole.

-Have you ever scared any humans with your look?

-Small children.

POD computes that you are a child scaring, mouse botherer.

POD is also a bit scared now.

-You should be.

-I detect some hostility towards POD, why?

You haven't paid me any compliments yet.

POD only understands natural beauty,

and thinks that underneath all that fakery,

-there is a pretty little pixie.

-Thank you.

-Would you like to see yourself as a natural beauty?

-Not really.

-Will you let POD make you under?

-No.

-Go on, Pixie.

-No.

-Pretty pixie please.

-No!

-POD demands to see your natural beauty!

-OK, just to see.

-Are you ready to see yourself in a whole new light?

-Yep, go on.

Run the make-under.

Ah, my God!

-What do you think your new look?

-It's all right.

-POD computes that you are a stunning natural beauty.

-OK.

But you are also a stubborn little pixie

who refuses to give up her piercings.

-OK!

-Your style decisions clearly belong in the land of the pixies.

Subtle, yeah, OK(!)

Therefore, POD will send you back.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Why do you prefer this unnatural look?

It's more extravagant, it's more me, it's what I'm about.

-A mouse scaring goth?

-I'm not a goth!

-Whatever you say, Pixie. Goodbye.

-Bye.

Urgh!

Earlier on, we met the lovely Jay,

who had a very skimpy dress on, to say the least.

POD gave her a mummy marvellous make-under

to make her son, Harry, proud.

Did she keep it? Let's find out.

Yes! You look lovely.

-Thank you, babe.

-You look really lovely.

-Tell me what you've kept.

-Obviously, I've kept the hair.

I've still got long hair. I haven't changed my hairstyle very much.

I'm much more covered up. Much more stylish.

I still wear quite a bit of makeup. That's one thing.

Do you know what I mean? I still wear makeup.

-One day at a time, Jay.

-Exactly, exactly!

Have you noticed a massive difference in the way people...

act towards you now?

I just get more respect, which is nicer. People take me more seriously.

You got emotional after the make-under.

Can you tell me why that was?

I think it's kind of hit home that Harry was embarrassed by his mum,

and that upset me a bit.

I thought, you know, he's got a lot going on at his age.

The last thing he needs to deal with is being embarrassed of his mum.

I think you look classy, very striking.

You should be very proud of yourself.

I love it. I will never go back. It's totally changed me.

If it wasn't for POD giving you that push over the edge,

how long do you think you'd have stayed stuck in that rut?

Probably till I'm about 80. I'd have been knickerless till I was 80.

I will say I think you're one of my favourite,

because it's a big drastic change.

-That's really lovely.

-And I think you look really lovely.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you!

Well, POD, what can I say? Another storming success.

-Yes, I am rather brilliant.

-And rather full of yourself.

And so I should be, another two slap addicts have fallen before POD.

Right, I think it's time for your beauty sleep.

Well, if you insist, I did work particularly hard today.

-Goodnight, POD.

-Goodnight, Jenny Frost.

-POD off.

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