Episode 5 Snog Marry Avoid?

MUSIC: "When I Grow Up" by Pussycat Dolls

Make-up can sometimes be a girl's best friend,

but be warned, your best friend can quickly become your worst enemy.

Hideous tidemarks and tangerine tans should be a warning,

but some girls just can't see past their lashes.

These girls don't need a make over, they need a makeunder.

And a couple of celebrities could do with our help too.

Welcome to the naturally fabulous world of the makeunder.

This is POD, your Personal Overhaul Device.

-Hello, POD.

-Hello, the Frost.

POD, it's fair to say you've taken down

some pretty hardcore make-up minxes in your time.

Indeed I have, Frost, and I'm PODding brilliant at it.

Well, today we'll see just how brilliant you actually are

because I've got a few little treats for you.

That sounds exciting, explain yourself, Frost.

Prepare yourself POD, it's double the trouble,

twice as much slap, it's a twin-tastic,

fake fanatic extravaganza!

Oh, my POD, let me at them, Frost.

Coming up on tonight's show,

POD has double the fun as she takes on the twins.

We love being twins because we get more attention.

We're the terror twins. We like blood and guts.

I have a feeling a couple of them are going to be a little bit cheeky.

They're the Pop Star rejects who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Entertaining the world with their scary singing and skimpy style,

they are the unstoppable, the irresistible Cheeky Girls!

Tonight, three sets of twins will experience the magic

of a makeunder. Good luck, POD.

So come on, Frost. Who have you got for me?

First up are a couple of actresses

who seem find it hard to go without the grease paint.

Loading background data.

-Hi.

-Hi. I'm Melissa.

-I'm Carla.

-BOTH: and we're the Howe twins.

We wanna do everything which we can to be successful.

Acting, modelling, movies, music videos.

Melissa and Carla, they're always skimpy, every time we go out...

Outrageous.

Glitz and glamour, that's the look we're going for.

# ..with my picture in city lights

# Fame fame we live for the fame... #

We love every part of glamour from accessories, hair, make-up.

It's just all us.

# Here come the girls, girls, girls... #

We have to be really tanned, so your outfits look good on

because mine are quite skimpy.

A really dark tan can turn heads.

People that don't like the fake look are missing out.

They should join us.

No-one looks like us, so no-one has our style.

# ..doing it for the fame fame

# Cos we wanna live the life of the rich and famous... #

When we walk into a club with the twins...

-Every single bloke...

-..every man looks at them.

We don't have boyfriends because we're too focused

on our careers at the minute.

We don't want anything holding us back.

We love being twins because it's different...

-We get more attention.

-It's double the fun and trouble.

-And we're the best.

-Yeah.

-Hey, girls.

-Hi.

-How are you two today?

-Good.

-We've got Carla and Melissa?

-Yeah.

-Beautiful twins.

I'm thinking Melissa's more concerned about the outfit

and Carla's more concerned about make-up?

Yeah. It's like, we can help each other out.

Yeah, we're the opposite.

Talk me through your outfits. Is this what you wear for a night out?

Definitely, with the garter and then like a small dress.

I think really revealing.

You're both absolutely tiny, but you've got huge boobs.

-Are they real?

-They are.

-No one believes us, but they are.

I think she's a bit bigger than me, but they are real.

At least POD can't tell you off for them. So are you ready to meet POD?

-Definitely.

-Definitely, I'm so excited.

It'll be an experience that POD won't forget.

Melissa, Carla, good luck in POD.

See you on the other side.

I am POD, who are you?

-I'm Melissa.

-I'm Carla.

My files tell me that you are twins.

-Yeah.

-Which one of you is the older one?

Melissa, my sister.

-By how much?

-Ten minutes.

What were you doing, slapping on bright pink lipstick?

Ah, that's very rude.

So is what you are wearing.

POD computes you haven't always looked this cheap. Accessing data.

SHE GASPS

That's not me, that's not us.

So these naturally pretty girls are imposters are they?

-Yeah.

-Did they run off with your natural beauty too?

No!

Hmm, what do you do for a living?

We study performing arts at college.

-Do you want to movie stars when you grow up?

-Yeah.

-Will you show POD your acting skills?

-Yeah!

-We can do a double act, that'd be good.

-POD will give you a scene.

Carla, you are suffering from amnesia after a freak riding accident.

OK.

Having been missing for a week you stumble across your sister.

-Action.

-Carla, where have you been?

-I've been looking for you all week!

-Who are you?

It's Melissa, what are you talking about?

-I don't know where I am.

-It's Melissa!

-Snap out of it!

-And cut.

Bravo, bravo.

The Oscar for best twin performance goes to Melissa and Carla!

-Ahh!

-Oh, my gosh! Thank you so much!

I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me.

-And I wanna thank my make-up artist...

-Cut!

Why in POD's name

would you thank someone who has made you look like a couple of clowns?

Besides the need for a new make-up artist,

why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

I want to be taken seriously,

so we'd like a makeunder to help develop our sense of style.

I'd like to see how other people think we'd look better.

POD can certainly do that,

but first, let's see what other people think of your look now.

Run phase one. Public Analysis.

I asked are they - bright sparks, a little bit dim,

the lights are on, but nobody's home?

I know that one.

Very intelligent.

Let's go for bright sparks.

-Yeah.

-Play.

Absolute gruesome twosome.

Simply because of their outfit and the make-up is a bit excessive.

The lights aren't quite on.

The light's on, but no one's home.

No-one thought you were bright sparks.

Most people we asked said, "The lights are on, but nobody's home.

How rude!

I also asked men only -

would you want to snog, marry or avoid these girls?

-Marry.

-Play.

I'd avoid the girls.

They don't really look like long-term material.

I'd avoid these girls cos they look like more trouble than they're worth.

No-one wanted to marry you.

The majority of the people we asked said, "Avoid."

We'd avoid them.

Having heard from the public, do you now see you need a makeunder?

-By the sound of it, yeah.

-Are you ready for my verdict, girls?

-Yeah.

You are a pair of tasteless twins who really need to sack your stylist

and you will undergo my tacky teens to silver screen makeunder!

For the next part of my programme,

you will make style choices for each other.

Who wants to go first?

-Me!

-Me, I'm older, I'm older.

-Oh, do stop squabbling, girls!

-OK, bye. No, me. I'll do it.

-I'll do it. No.

Since you obviously can't agree, POD will decide.

Goodbye, Carla.

Here is your makeunder menu.

Choose, Carla, a new lipstick colour -

subtle pink gloss, natural balm, coral shimmer, plum sheen.

-Pink Gloss.

-Choose a celebrity style -

Anne Hathaway, Keira Knightley, Vanessa Hudgens, Rhianna.

Vanessa Hudg... Hudgens, I can't say it.

-Thank you, Melissa. I now need to speak to your sister.

-Oh, OK.

-Welcome back, Carla.

-Hi.

Please choose your sister a new hairstyle -

classic up do, choppy bob with fringe,

natural waves, sleek sweeping chop.

The classic one.

Choose a celebrity style -

Anne Hathaway, Keira Knightley, Rhianna, Vanessa Hudgens.

-Rhianna.

-Thank you, Melissa. I shall now return your twin.

Who do you think has made the best choices?

-Me.

-Me.

-Hmm, are you ready for the makeunder?

-Yeah.

-Are you nervous?

-Yeah.

-Are you excited?

-Yeah.

-Do you ever say anything other than "Yeah?"

-Yeah.

Running final phase. The makeunder.

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

-What do you think, girls?

-We look so different.

-We look so different.

-Do you like your new looks?

-It's good, I like it.

-In a different way, it's weird.

-Yeah.

Carla, what do you think of your sister's makeunder?

She doesn't look as Jodie Marsh as she did before.

Now, now, girls. What do you think of Carla's look?

Your hair looks better like, cos it's not so fake-looking.

Stop with the sibling rivalry

-and pay attention to what the public think of your new look.

-Yeah!

-Play.

I'd probably marry them.

If polygamy was legal, I would marry both of them, yeah.

I could snog and marry them.

Now 50 per cent want to snog you

and the other 50 per cent want to marry you. That's better, isn't it?

Yeah.

Here's how I achieved your new, natural look.

A ponytail doesn't have to be boring. A bit of lift to the crown

and a coloured ribbon add a new dimension to this iconic style.

Wearing a tulip-shaped dress balances out a large bust

and still looks young and sexy.

Yeah, I like the style, it's nice.

-What about you, Carla, do you like your new look?

-I do, yeah.

-Maybe this could be a bit lower cut.

-No, Carla!

How does it feel, not wearing all that slap?

I prefer it. It looks more natural.

So will you be thanking your new stylist in your Oscar speech?

-Yeah!

-And the winners are... Carla and Melissa!

-Thank you so much.

-I just wanna thank everyone.

We finally got a new stylist, now that we've got a pay rise!

Hm. So will you be keeping your new, Oscar-winning styles?

-Yeah.

-Definitely.

-Have you enjoyed the makeunder experience?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it's been fun.

POD has had fun making you natural beauties. Goodbye.

BOTH: Bye.

Ah, they look great. Very Mary-Kate and Ashley, I thought.

We'll catch up with them later to see if they kept it up.

Beauty, hair and make-up - something every girl has an opinion on.

Fortunately, or unfortunately in some cases,

they're more than happy to share.

Never got out without mascara on, otherwise you'll look like a boy.

Nice tight shoes. You'll be fine.

Always use mascara, lip gloss and blusher to make yourself look good.

It's corsets, big boots, big hair.

Put false tan with moisturiser and it looks natural.

Lots of sparkly things and glitter. Glitter is good.

You've gotta feel comfortable in what you're wearing.

Well, my hair took me, like, three minutes.

It's very important you look good on a night out

cos you wanna attract loads of attention, especially the boys.

Next up are a couple of Transylvanian horrors

who've been hiding deep in the countryside in Sussex

and now they're here to get POD.

# We are The Cheeky Girls We are The Cheeky Girls... #

-I am Monica.

-I'm Gabriella.

And we are The Cheeky Girls.

Walking down the little historic town of Rye...

-their short skirts, the little tops...

-Boys.

..it does turn quite a few heads.

-I think you ooze style and sophistication.

-Wow!

SHE GIGGLES

All the long hair is fake.

The eyelashes are fake.

-The boobs are fake!

-The boobs are fake.

My nails now are fake.

It's only three fake things.

It's not a lot, is it?

# ..Cheeky cheeky. #

MUSIC: "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge

The Cheeky Girls' style is cheeky...

..sexy...

..a bit naughty....

..and very sophisticated.

Hey! Whoo, whoo, whoo!

We love to dance.

Once I'm on the dancefloor, you just can't get me away from there.

# From Paris to Berlin

# In every disco I get in my heart is pumping for love

# Pumping for love my heart is pumping for love... #

A makeunder would be erm...interesting.

I don't think that you can change the Cheeky Girls...

I kissed tonight! I kissed!

Kissing. mwuh, mwuh, mwuh...

We had a brilliant night, but it is time to go now home.

-Welcome, girls.

-Thank you.

It is good to be here.

Can I have a look at these outfits, girls?

Really? You want to see?

D'you know what, I can't even look at the outfits,

I'm too impressed by the stomachs!

So are you nervous or excited about your makeunder?

Yes, we are a bit nervous.

We never had a makeunder, only make over. We only put more on.

-Not less.

-Do you think POD's ready for the Cheeky Girls?

I can't wait to meet her!

So, lovely ladies, next time I see you, you'll be made under,

or POD will be wearing false eyelashes.

One of the two. Good luck!

I am POD.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Who are you?

BOTH: We are the Cheeky Girls! mwuh! mwuh!

Yes, I can see that.

-Tell POD your real names.

-Monica.

-So you must be Gabriella?

-Yes.

POD can see a lot of cheeky flesh.

Why have you not finished getting dressed?

-THEY GASP

-This is a,

a complete outfit.

I have actually two tops on. Can you imagine?

Two strips of Bacofoil and a bra does not constitute an outfit.

THEY LAUGH

I see you take the opposite approach to your make-up.

There's nothing minimal about all that slap.

-Aaah! We like slap!

-We like slap!

Clearly! Which one wears the most make-up?

-I do!

-I do!

-I do.

-I do.

I always buy really good make-up and she always steals it from me.

Why fight over something that makes you look like twin trannies?

You are mean! We think we look perfection.

POD completely disagrees.

What don't you like about ourselves?

-Our style?

-Everything. Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

Because we want to change something.

To show to people that we are quite beautiful underneath, as well.

First, I need to find out

what people think of your current look.

THEY GASP

OK. Really look forward.

Run phase one, public analysis. Are you nervous?

We always get such a good reaction from the public. It's amazing!

Really? Well, this should be interesting.

POD has only asked men who do not know who the Cheeky Girls are.

-Are there any?

-Yes.

But as long as you ask men, it should be fine.

I asked, would you want to snog,

marry or avoid these girls?

Avoid? No.

-Snog, Gabi?

-I would go for no.

-No! Snog.

-Moni...

We won't get the...

I want snog!

Stop bickering and make a decision, girls.

Avoid!

Play.

I'd like to snog them.

Preferably both of them at the same time.

Uh, avoid.

Avoid, because they look trashy.

The majority of the men we asked wanted to avoid you.

I don't get it.

I also asked, are they 26, 30, or 35?

Definitely not 35!

Definitely not! OK, 26.

Why didn't go lower than 26?

Play.

I would say they're 30.

I think they are about 30.

35, yeah.

45 per cent of the people we asked said 30.

And 15 per cent think you look 35.

Some people consider that I am 35?

Correct. How old are you?

-26.

-Are you still feeling cheeky?

I can't accept that they think I look 30. I can't believe this!

People avoiding us, men!

We are sad, POD.

Don't be upset, girls. POD is here to help. Are you ready for my verdict?

Yes.

You are a couple of plastic-fantastic,

Transylvanian horrors!

EVIL LAUGHTER

And you will undergo my Tacky Twins To Sleek Sisters Cheek Under.

You now have the chance to redesign each other's style.

OK.

I will make you look like a grandma!

Calm down, girls.

To process your choices, I'll need to separate you.

-Yes.

-Goodbye, Monica.

-Mwuh!

Now, Gabriella. Choose your sister a new hairstyle.

Curly bob, classic waves, choppy bob with fringe, sleek, sweeping chop.

I will go for classic waves.

Choose a celebrity style.

Kelly Brook, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Bilson, Kate Moss.

Kate Moss.

It is now Monica's turn to choose. Goodbye, Gabriella!

-So, Monica. Are you ready to redesign your twin?

-OK.

Choose Gabriella a new hairstyle.

Curly bob, classic waves, choppy bob with fringe, sleek, sweeping chop.

Classic waves.

Choose a celebrity style.

Kelly Brook, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Bilson, Kate Moss.

Kelly Brook.

Thank you, I shall now reunite you with your sister.

Hello, Gabriella.

-Hello.

-It is now time for the next phase of my programme. Are you ready?

I don't know. You tell me!

POD thinks you are going to enjoy it.

-What do you mean?

-What do you mean, go on.

The next phase requires you both to remove all of that slap.

-You mean to get this off?

-Yes.

-You must be joking!

-Incorrect.

Run phase two, deep cleanse.

-Just like that?

-Yes.

Now please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

This is not fashionable.

POD thinks you look like movie stars.

Stop posing and remove all of your make-up.

You know what, POD? You're cheeky.

-Get wiping!

-What are you doing to us?

Making you natural beauties.

-Oh, no.

-You already look much younger and fresher.

You have to admit, POD, this is too natural.

There is no such thing as TOO natural.

And that is quite enough cheek from you.

Are you excited about your makeunder, girls?

Yes, feeling desperate for a makeunder,

I can't stay like this for another minute.

Run phase three, the makeunder.

Wow, Gabi!

I look better than you do.

No you don't!

-I do!

-Now, now, girls. POD thinks you both look very beautiful.

-Thank you!

-Do you like your new look?

I am not used to it.

Now, I start to fall in love with it.

I could find a date in this outfit.

POD thinks you'll find several dates in that outfit!

-Shall we find out?

-Yes.

-Oh, my God! I'm really excited.

Previously, I asked members of the public

would you want to snog, marry, or avoid these girls?

-Definitely not avoid them now, is it?

-Play.

If I saw them, I would snog them.

They are so beautiful.

-I would kiss them. Because they are very pretty.

-That's sweet.

-Yes. 70 per cent of the public now want to snog you.

-70?

-And 20 per cent want to marry you.

-Only 20?! And 10 per cent avoid?

-Even natural Cheekies can't please everyone.

-Aha!

Here is your natural beauty data.

Adding bold detail to classic tailoring

helps keep this look young and fresh.

Pinching your cheeks reveals your natural colour,

which you should match when buying blusher.

That's your natural colour.

Natural colour!

So will you be keeping your new looks?

-Yes!

-Yes.

-Definitely.

-Are you still the Cheeky Girls?

-What d'you think?

-POD thinks you are the Classy Girls.

THEY SQUEAL

The Classy Cheeky Girls!

Exactly. So has POD been successful in this makeunder?

Yes. The only thing is, we're going to miss you now.

Who's going to teach us about make-up and tips?

POD thinks you'll be fine on your own

now that natural beauty has been restored.

-We're so happy.

-Goodbye.

-Thank you!

-Thank you!

-Bye!

-Woooh!

-Mwuh! Bye!

Wow. I thought the classy Cheekies looked absolutely stunning.

But did they keep it up? Let's see.

Let's catch up with them one month after the makeunder.

How about two months?

Mmm, we can see the Cheekies are, yes, still as cheeky as ever.

-Cheeky, cheeky!

-Bad luck, POD.

Maybe I'll have a little bit more success in my own mission

to reveal the best-kept beauty secrets just for you.

There's nothing more annoying than buying brand new lipstick

and it snapping in half like mine just has.

But a make-up artist once told me

that if you get both ends and heat them,

you can actually mould it back together.

So I'm going to give it a try now.

Very careful.

Gently heat, heat, heat.

Oh, that's nice, I like it.

And now we stick it on and generally try and mould it down.

That's starting to look better. Once you've moulded it back together,

you need to put it in the fridge.

Right, I'm going to pop it in the fridge and leave it to set.

Right. Time to check on my lippy.

Has it set?

Or is it going to be a lip disaster?

Right.

It doesn't look the prettiest, but does it do the trick?

That's the important thing.

I shall investigate right now.

That's worked absolutely fantastically.

Saved myself some money there. More money for more drinks, wooh!

You could be forgiven for thinking Halloween's come early,

but POD's next visitors gave her a real fright.

Anyway, back to us.

As we were saying, right, he's a player!

I am POD. Who are you?

We're the Terror Twins!

Are you the living dead?

-Something along those lines!

-Is POD having a nightmare?

Quite possibly!

-Hmm. Are you really twins?

-We're really twins.

-POD doesn't believe you.

-How very dare you!

-How dare you lie to POD!

-OK, we're not twins.

-But you are terrifying.

-Damn straight!

Why have you covered yourselves in blood and gore?

-Cos we like it.

-It's sexy.

POD computes it is scary, not sexy.

-Whatever, Trevor!

-My name is POD, not Trevor.

What do you do for a living?

-A weird thing which is gypsy horror burlesque.

Hmmm. Interesting. Please demonstrate.

Who likes the gore now?

Exactly. We love it.

CHAINSAW REVS

Argh!

SCREAMS

Hmmm. Gory.

-Now please put the chainsaw down.

-Do I really have to give it back?

Yes, you really do. You chainsaw wielding maniac.

It's beautiful.

POD does not understand

why you want to look like a couple of zombie horror stories.

-Everybody loves it.

-I like zombies. We are the undead.

-Grrr!

No, you are just a dead fake.

I hesitate to ask, but what do you think of natural beauty?

If you have natural beauty, flaunt it.

If you don't, put some slap on, for God's sake!

For POD's sake, do you ever go out without the blood splattered slap?

Surely you're not frightened of natural beauty?

We're not frightened of anything or anybody.

What about a makeunder? Are you scared of that, little girls?

-Yes.

-Just as I thought.

You are too scared to face POD, the fake zombie slap slayer!

EVIL LAUGHTER

If you say so.

But since you're about as terrifying as a bad B-movie,

POD will not make you under today. Goodbye!

Bye!

Remember the scantily-clad twins from earlier on,

Carla and Melissa?

POD made them into natural beauties and demure ladies.

But did they keep it up? Let's find out now.

-Hello, girls!

-Hi!

Gone are the sequins and skimpy clothes. This is good news for POD!

When you saw each other's makeunder, what did you think?

At first when I saw Carla's I was a bit like,

"oh my gosh, she's gonna hate..."

cos Carla's not used to looking made under.

But I think it did look good.

Did POD show you that you can still look sexy

by having more demure clothes and tights?

Yeah, I think it definitely shows a lot more...

like, if you are completely covered,

it leaves a lot more imagination.

So it's better to be more covered in a way.

So before your makeunder,

what would you rate yourselves, one to ten?

-About six, I'd say.

-Yeah.

And after the makeunder?

-Probably about eight, nine.

-Yeah.

A little birdie tells me you two are off to crack America.

Do you think you'll get taken more seriously as actresses

dressed after the makeunder, or as you were dressed before?

I think in America, it has to be over the top.

I'd probably calm down, say I'm meeting agents,

but to go out and party, I'd dress really glamorous.

If you crack there, you've done it. So hopefully...

You're on Snog, Marry, Avoid!

You've made it! Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I think with our own perfume brand!

-Yeah, Carmel.

-What will it be called, your own perfume?

-Carmel.

Cos that's Carla and I'm Melissa.

Carla from Melissa, and Mel from...

I mean... I said that completely wrong!

So obviously, you're going to get Oscars, at some point.

When you win your Oscar, will you employ POD as your stylist?

Yeah, POD would be there. I'd thank her for the dress-down makeunder!

That got you to where you are today!

Have you got a message for POD?

Thanks, POD, but we'll still have glamour in our lives!

Well, PODmeister General,

-I stand in awe of your skills.

-Thank you, Jenny Frost.

-I did do rather well today.

-You did indeed.

You took on three sets of twins, including the Cheeky Girls,

and all without blowing a fuse.

I'm quite a fan of the natural Cheekies.

# I am a Cheeky POD! I am a Cheeky POD! #

I think the success has done something to your wiring!

I don't think so, Frost! # I am a Cheeky POD! #

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

-You need to get some rest.

-Oh!

Goodnight, POD,

POD off.

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