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# Where are my pop starts? We are the hipsters. #
Welcome to the dark side.
# You know we're gonna party like a rock star
# Boys should be terrified We're as good as they come. #
Here on Snog Marry Avoid we're not afraid of a challenge.
In fact, there's nothing we love more than rolling up our sleeves in the fight against fakery.
So make up madams and fake tan fiends beware, it's time
to exterminate those extensions, lay of the layers of slap and bring out the natural beauty in you.
But in tonight's programme there is an extra challenge because everybody in this show is fake
in more ways than one and what's more, you look awfully familiar.
Hello, Pod, how are you today?
Very well, thank you. Has anyone ever told you how much you look like Jenny Frost?
Well, that's because I am Jenny Frost, well last time I looked anyway.
Sorry, it's just that I've heard we're going to meet some very good lookalikes today.
-You can't be too careful.
-Absolutely, Pod, especially with all this identity theft around.
Now, has anybody ever tried to duplicate you?
How dare you. I'm the world's one and only makeunder computer.
They broke the mould when they made me.
That is true, you are one of a kind.
Talking about breaking the mould, who have you got for me today?
Coming up on tonight's show,
Pod meets a woman whose poker face drives everyone gaga.
We step out with a Katie Price wannabe.
What's good for Katie Price
is definitely good for me so get a life.
A Britney Spears double is in need of a less toxic look.
Oops, I might just hit you, Pod, one more time.
But first we've got a lookalike whose celebrity persona is driving her gaga.
And who would that be then, Frost?
Oh, for goodness sake.
# Gaga, ooh-la-la... #
Hi, I'm Cat Winter from Essex but please don't call my name
because as you can tell from my poker face
I'll only answer to the name of Lady Gogo.
I only recently started impersonating Gaga to my friends who thought I was the spitting image
but now I'm finding it increasingly difficult not to look like Gaga every day.
To copy her look and keep up with her exact body shape,
I had a boob job which cost me 4,000.
It is like a full time job keeping up with Gaga.
# We're kinda busy... #
# K-kinda busy, k-kinda busy. #
# Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy. #
Pod, I'm a natural Gaga, Gogo.
You can't make a natural beauty out of me.
# I'm not gonna reach my telephone. #
-Hello, Lady Gogo, how are you today?
-Hi. I'm fine, thank you.
So how long have you been a Lady Gaga tribute?
Talk me through how much you've spent and where you've spent it.
I have to get roots bleached every three to four weeks.
Gaga shoes, little accessories, so hundreds every month.
Pod's going to be very cross with you for that one.
It's a lot of money. Right, Lady Gogo,
I'm going to send you off to Pod now.
I'm going to wish you good luck
and hopefully next time we meet you'll be Cat.
I am Pod, the personal overhaul device. Who are you?
I am Cat Winter, otherwise known as Lady Gogo.
I wish you would go go and put some clothes on.
Oh, you are so mean.
How long has Gogo been Gaga?
-For about eight months.
-And why did Cat Winter become Lady Gogo?
People kept saying that I looked like her and I sound like her too.
They're go going mad over Gaga.
Remarkable. What is it you like about Gaga?
She's not afraid to be who she is, um, she's got amazing style...
Even when she buys her clothes from the meat counter.
-And don't you look fabulous?
-Cat Winter or Lady Gogo?
-Cat Winter of course.
-No, she's not. You could look like the cat's whiskers.
Whey don't you let your own natural beauty break out from time to time.
Too much Gogo going on.
You don't say. How much does it cost you to go all the way as Gogo?
To date, 15 grand.
What on earth have you been buying?
-Pod calculates that you are spending far too much on your Gaga outfits.
I have a money saving challenge for you.
Let's see if you can create Gaga couture out of a roll of tin foil,
some feathers and a kitchen colander.
Cheap, cheerful and authentic.
Clearly you are Gaga.
But that outfit isn't suitable for you, Cat Winter, so it has to gogo.
If you say so.
Why have you come before Pod for a makeunder?
-I don't know who I am any more.
-Pod can help you find your lost Cat.
Go on then.
But first I need to run phase one, public analysis.
We asked the public, based on your Gaga look,
would they like to snog, marry or avoid you.
What do you think they said?
-I'd avoid her.
She looks a bit of a slapper, to be honest.
I think they are talking more about Gaga than Cat Winter.
Oh, you're nice, Pod.
But never the less, of all the people we asked, 35% said they'd snog you
and the chart flopping 60% wanted to avoid you.
-That's not quite so good, is it?
We also asked ex-Emmerdale and Hollyoaks star Alex Carter the same question. What do you think he said?
I think I'd avoid her unless she wore that meat dress, then I'd let her in,
get the oven on and see what's cooking.
He's obviously a meat and two veg kind of guy.
He certainly doesn't seem to like dogs dinners.
And on that note, are you ready for my verdict?
OK, sock it to me.
Looking like the queen of weird all the time is enough to drive you gaga
so you're going to have my natural superstar makeunder.
Please choose a new style.
Boho romance, soft tailoring, urban chick, rock chick.
Boho romance, please.
Thank you. There are many ways to skin a cat but Pod will use just one.
-Please put on your deep cleanse uniform and get wiping.
Did you know eight out of ten cats prefer to go without slap?
-Are you ready to meet the all new improved Cat Winter?
Run the makeunder in three, two, one.
Wow, oh, my god.
-You look like the cat that got the cream.
So can you see with Lady Gogo gone, you are a star in your own right.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
But will the public agree? Do you want to hear what they said about your new look?
I would snog the lady.
I would marry her because she looks really pretty.
Probably snog her. She's got a nice set of teeth,
she's very tidy, she's just my type.
-You are very welcome, Cat.
-Of all the people we asked, 80% wanted to snog you and 20% wanted to marry you.
Here is your natural beauty data.
Hair, golden highlights create a natural, softer look.
Make-up: Coral and peach colours are best
to warm an English rose complexion.
A short smock dress elongates a smaller frame,
a new tone flatters a paler skin.
I love it.
I want to go clubbing.
Well, don't let Pod stop you. My work here is done.
Pod computes that this makeunder has been a complete success.
-Big thumbs up.
-Goodbye, Cat Winter.
Thanks, Pod. Bye.
I'm here to reveal to my sister-in-law Donna.
I hope she likes it as much as I do.
I'll be able to tell if Donna likes it or not.
I'll know by the look on her face.
Oh, wow, look at you.
-Do you like it?
-Yes, I do.
-It's pretty, isn't it?
I wasn't expecting Cat to look this gorgeous. I think she looks great.
She really does look lovely.
Here's to the new look.
-Let's see if it brings me a good romance.
Will Cat be able to live with her new look without going gaga?
We'll find out later. But first, to prove there's not limit to what
I won't do to find useful tips for you, here is the bottom line.
Does my bum look big in this?
There's nothing worse in life than a saggy bum.
Now, I've heard that if you use caffeine and a firming face mask on wobbly bits it will firm them up.
Now, which bit shall I try it out on?
Right, so I'm going to get some coffee granules,
mix them with a firming face mask.
Now, you apply quite liberally to the bottom.
This is rubbish.
Now, apply liberally to the bottom.
Who am I kidding? Apply liberally to the bottom and
then you leave it on the bottom for 20 minutes.
Are you all right there, love?
20 minutes to firm up.
So I'm just going to rinse it off.
Now to test if it's firmer.
I would say yes.
The caffeine has stimulated with the firming mask
and made a very firm bottom.
And if you think that was a bum job, try being a full time Britney Spears impersonator.
One day you are brushing your long golden locks and the next day you can feel a draft.
# Oh, baby, baby I shouldn't have let you go. #
Hey, what's up? I'm Lorna Bliss and I'm a Britney Spears impersonator.
# Oh, baby, baby. #
I started impersonating Britney Spears around ten years ago when Britney because a pop sensation.
# Show me how you want it to be... #
And it's just gone on from there.
Getting ready to look like Britney can take quite a long time.
I really go for it the whole hog.
Take a lot of pride in my appearance and making sure I look as Britney as possible.
I do my makeup like Britney, get my nails done, put eyelashes in,
I have to make sure my hair is exactly like hers,
I spend a fortune on outfits,
getting replicas done that look exactly like hers.
Whatever she's wearing really, I just copy that.
When I'm out and about on the street people do comment on my resemblance
to Britney and sometimes I'm even, like, mistaken for the real Britney Spears.
# I call them like I see them I know what you are... #
I feel like a real superstar. I almost feel like Britney herself.
# Womaniser, you're a...
# Superstar, where you from How's it going? #
Being on stage performing as Britney is just, like, totally amazing.
All the fans are so dedicated to the music and I always have a really good time.
# Womaniser, woman-womaniser You're a womaniser
# Oh, womaniser Oh, you're a womaniser baby... #
Listen, Pod, the circus is most definitely in town.
Your makeunder better not be too toxic or oops,
I might just hit you, Pod, one more time.
I'm in the presence of pop royalty today, Lorna. I'm very excited.
-It is spooky how much you look like Britney.
Now, is it getting annoying though?
It would be totally cool just have a look that was totally separate
to my job so that I can just switch off sometimes.
How much does it cost you to maintain the Britney look?
It's kind of expensive because, like, say, for example, this outfit was tailor made.
This cost, like, 600.
Keeping up with Britney is a pretty expensive, high maintenance thing to do.
-Now, you've even got the same tattoos that Britney has got.
-Have you got any more?
-Yeah, I've also got one on my neck, just here.
This one, it says "healing", in Hebrew, but it's actually misspelt
the same way that Britney's tattoo on her neck is misspelt.
The tattooist was really confused but I was like,
"Look, the whole point of me getting this is to have it
"exactly like Britney so I want the misspelt version, please?"
Right, gorgeous, I'm going to wish you good luck in Pod
and I'll see you on the other side when you're de-Britneyed.
I am Pod and you must be the princess of pop, Britney Spears.
Well, kind of. I'm Lorna Bliss, I'm a lookalike.
Why in Pod's name do you want to look like somebody else?
Well, I didn't start on purpose, I wasn't even trying to Britney,
I was just being Lorna Bliss
and then people told me I looked like her
so then I started to, you know,
I got my hair a little bit more like her,
started doing my makeup like her and then I eventually just morphed into Britney.
That sounds painful. How often do you morph back into Lorna Bliss?
Her style has become embedded in my sense of style and I just don't know who I am any more.
Oh, you poor lamb. Do people often confuse you for the real deal?
I got mobbed by a group of people, they thought I was the real Britney and it got a bit hairy.
Talking of hair, Britney has had a few barmy barnets of her own.
Are you always obliged to copy them?
Britney can do whatever she wants and I will still follow her.
Yes, Pod can see you followed even her more extreme haircuts.
-Yes, Pod, of course.
-Why on earth would you want to walk around like an egghead?
I wanted to look exactly like Britney Spears.
-What? Breakdown Britney?
-No. Britney having a different haircut.
Clearly you are very committed to your work. So why have you come before Pod for a makeunder?
Because, Pod, I would really, really love to have a look that is
totally different to Britney so that I can just go out and be myself.
Pod can help you with that but first I need to run phase one, public analysis.
We asked the public if dressed as Britney Spears they would snog, marry or avoid you.
-What do you think they said?
-I'm going to be nice to myself and pick snog.
-I think I'll avoid her.
Snog, yeah, why not? I wouldn't avoid her, she's not that bad to avoid but I definitely wouldn't marry her.
Well, maybe I wouldn't want to marry that womaniser anyway.
-Avoid. She just seems a bit plastic and fake.
Pod also asked ex-Emmerdale and Hollyoaks star Alex Carter if he would snog, marry or avoid you.
What do you think he said?
I don't know. I don't know who he is.
Well, I couldn't marry her if she's like the real Britney
so I'd probably just snog her, and if she shaves her hair I'll avoid her.
Pod, are you telling me that any man in his right mind is going to turn down Britney Spears?
Well, 5% said they would marry you.
15% said they'd snog you, but a massive 80% wanted to avoid you.
Well, I'd probably avoid them too, Pod, because I only like kissing people that look like Madonna.
You should be so lucky.
-Are you ready for my verdict?
-Hit me, baby.
Pod thinks that while Britney's got talent, you need a rest, so you are
going to have my totally toxic to pure bliss makeunder.
Ah, thank you, Pod, that's cute.
I'm glad we're finally singing from the same hymn sheet. Run phase two.
Give it to me, Pod, give it to me right now.
No, you give it to me right now. Please remove your Britney bumph.
Has anyone told you it's rude to wear a hat indoors?
-My hair is going to look so weird under this.
-Take it off.
No, Pod, I'm going to look like a freak if I take this off because it's all back combed this side.
A Britney strop, how very original.
Yeah, but I look like a...
you know what, whatever.
Even Britney has bad days.
Your day is about to get much better.
Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.
Oh, my god. What is this?
It's a remix that will send you to number one for natural beauty.
-Run the makeunder in three, two, one.
Oh, my god.
What do you think of the new you?
I think I look really classy.
Like how I did when I was young.
The word you are looking for is natural.
I think if I was walking down the street like this
people would think that I worked in an office or something like that.
Well, shall we find out if anyone would fancy a bit of overtime with you?
-I'd snog her because she has nice eyes.
I'd snog her. She seems to have quite nice hair and got a friendly face.
I'd snog her because she has really nice lips.
Lorna, the new poll results will give you plenty to sing about because 60% wanted to snog you,
40% want to marry you, which means nobody wants to avoid you.
-Would this lens lie?
Here is your natural beauty data.
A soft jersey t-shirt updates a rock chick look.
Choose a cinched-in waisted skirt to give a petite frame a little shape.
Hair. A honey blond colour is more flattering to your skin tone
and the warmth of the colour compliments your eyes.
What do you think of the natural new you?
I think this is a really good disguise.
Lorna Bliss, Pod hopes you enjoy leading your double life and that you are now
blissfully aware of just how much of a natural beauty you really are.
# I woke up with the rising sun I was blinded by the light... #
The wall I had up, my Britney mask that I used to wear all the time,
has now been taken away and I do feel a little bit exposed.
I feel like a totally new person.
I'm feeling excited and quite curious I'm just very, very curious,
to see what this end result is.
When I walk in that room I think the first thing Angus is going to see
is a stranger that he doesn't recognise.
-Oh, my god, I can't believe it.
Wow. Is that the same person?
It's amazing. Yeah, you look like a real,
like a girl I can take home to my mother.
-Do I look innocent?
-I think I look younger.
You definitely have an innocent air about you.
Even when I saw you just now, even I was caught out.
You know, I actually didn't think it was you in that first instance. It's a proper disguise.
This is the girl underneath all the glam and glitter it seems,
which is nice.
I just didn't expect it. Completely blown away really.
This is a new beginning.
This is another page to my life.
Will Lorna be able to keep her own look and Britney's at the same time?
We'll find out later.
Now, Britney has had her fair share of bad hair days, even no hair days,
but here on Snog Marry Avoid we are on the case for you fashion felons.
Oh, yes, the style police are everywhere
so put your hands on your head and assume the position
because we're on the lookout for GBH.
That's God-awful Bad Hair.
What I hate is extensions, they are disgusting,
like ratty hair just growing from your head. Oh, it's vile.
I hate when people have their Croydon facelift.
I hate when girls use talcum powder on their hair,
it makes them look like they have really bad dandruff.
When they're all blond and stripy like they're a badger,
like they're stuck in the '90s.
It's really awful when girls have got sort of big natural hair like that
and then they've got that actual fake bit hanging down underneath.
It's really not good.
Earlier on we met Cat and her naughty alter ego Lady Gogo
who was taking over her life.
Cat didn't know who she was
and Pod helped her rediscover her natural self.
But has she kept it up or has she gone back to Gogo?
Let's meet her and find out. Hello, gorgeous.
-You look amazing. Very boho.
-Tell me how this look has come about.
It started with the boots
and they are actually from a second hand shop.
-And then the suedette shorts.
I tried to kind of go for the peasant look with the top,
and then I still need a bit of drama in my life
so that's why I've gone with the hat.
Hopefully it helped you rediscover who Cat is,
although your love of shopping, your bank manager will not thank us.
-Have you got a message for Pod?
Thank you, Pod. I loved absolutely every minute of it and I think we agree it has been a success.
But have to admit I think I've done slightly better than you. Sorry, darling.
Next in to Pod is a wannabe who worships the shrine of Katie Price.
Now, this girl loves all things Katie
and Katie loves all things fake,
so going into Pod, this should be interesting.
I am Pod. Who are you?
I'm Lisa Hind.
And who are you the lookalike of?
Miss Katie Price and I'm proud of it.
You look more like Miss Katie cut-price.
Oh, here we go. Go on then.
Why do you want to model yourself on the queen of slap?
Katie is like the goddess of goddesses.
She is my arch nemesis which makes you guilty by association.
Really? Fake is the new naturel.
Your style bible is very outdated.
You look like a drag queen.
I love this look, it's brilliant.
I'd die without fakery.
So you're a drama queen as well as a drag queen?
No. Who are you? You're nobody.
I am the world's one and only personal overhaul device and you are ripe for reinvention.
-Have you ever met the not-so-fantastic plastic Price?
Yeah, loads of times.
So you know each other well, do you?
I wouldn't say I know her well but enough to just get close to her and have a little chat to her, yeah.
And what do you discuss when you are together?
The current state of the economy, the dangers of global warming perhaps?
We both compare tans and hair
and who has got the longest lashes and we have a laugh.
Sounds riveting, dear.
How far would you go to prove your devotion to the orange one?
Whatever she does I'll do too.
Pod would like to make a divine intervention and teach you the gospel of natural beauty.
-Never in my life will you get me to go naturel.
-But you might like it.
I don't think so. Not for you, not for anybody in the world.
Only Katie Price can make me naturel.
What Katie knows about au naturel she could write on a scrap of material that she calls an outfit.
Oh, I really don't think you're going to win on this one. Never.
But it's you who is losing out if you continue down the path of fakery.
Come to the natural side.
I don't think so, Pod.
Pod has big plans for you.
-You are never going to win with this one.
-Pod has heard enough.
-Are you ready for my verdict?
Worshipping at the alter of Katie Price is a dangerously orange pastime.
-You might even turn into Jodie Marsh.
-I don't think so.
You have clearly been brainwashed, Lisa,
but Pod would never want to come between a girl and her religion.
So you are therefore rejected from my makeunder programme.
Ah-ha-ha, I win, you lose. See you later, loser.
Not if I see you first.
Earlier on we met Lorna
whose life had been lost to Britney Spears.
She didn't know who she was any more and Pod helped her find the real Lorna.
But has she kept it or has she gone back to her toxic ways?
Let's meet her and find out. Hello.
-I'm not quite sure if you've kept the makeunder or not
cos you look so much like Britney.
Well, I've kind of kept it a little bit.
I loved having brown hair, it was amazing,
but it was so difficult dying it blond again for my shows and stuff
so I've had to go back to a blonder colour.
How did you feel when you saw yourself as Lorna?
It was really difficult because Britney has been my crutch
for the last ten years. It's like a mask that I wear.
Trying something different was really, really scary for me.
So what has changed since the makeunder?
The week after, I met a guy,
he's really, really hot, really sexy, I'm totally into him.
And you met him as Lorna with the made under look.
-So that's totally awesome.
-See, everything happens for a reason.
-So have you got a message for our Pod?
Pod, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to be Lorna.
Now I know that underneath Britney there is a Lorna
waiting to get out and I'll be using that look on my days off. Thank you.
Good job today, Pod. After all it's not easy to get lookalikes to look less alike than they were before.
I'm glad you appreciate my efforts, Jenny Frost.
There's no job too big for the world's one and only personal overhaul device.
No, no. But it is possible to get a head too big.
Greatness is a curse. It's sometimes very hard to live with.
Oh, Pod, that's my cue to tell you to Pod off.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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