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You've got your work cut out!
My name's Ellie Taylor
and if you're notching up miles on the motorway of fakery, be warned
because Snog Marry Avoid is about to steer you in a new direction.
Our Personal Overhaul Device, or POD for short, has been stripped down
and rebooted and has waged war on Britain's biggest fakers.
POD would like to know how much does it take to look this cheap?
And nowhere is safe. This time round, POD is on the road.
POD computes you look orange.
I look brown.
From Manchester to Newcastle, Liverpool to Cardiff,
if it's fake, we'll find it.
POD, please let us in.
POD is also challenging me to try out some local style disasters.
And this week, POD is taking on Manchester.
Not just home to one of the world's greatest football teams, but two,
which means double the amount of WAGs for POD to deal with.
-I see we've landed in sunny Manchester then.
-Famous for foul weather, football and of course...
-I'll stop you there.
I know what you're going to say - WAGs.
So, you'll be getting WAGy with it today.
If you would like me to, I can do that.
While I'm out there getting WAGs for you, are you just going to sit here and chill out?
POD will never relax until the world is rid of fakery.
My God, you're such a martyr. See you later.
Coming up in tonight's show,
we meet a sunshine girl who is literally falling apart.
What the hell?!
I give Manchester's most infamous look a whirl.
Ooh! I am Wonder WAG.
And POD takes on a mum who's so fake, her kids are complaining.
She looks like an Oompa Loompa.
So POD set me the task of trying to find some true Manchester style.
To be honest, it hasn't taken much pavement pounding to find this pot of gold.
It's all about the tan, the hair,
the nails and the long legs.
Hello, guys. Sorry. Do you like what girls wear around this joint?
Too many girls wear tracksuits in Manchester.
Manchester is better than everywhere else because we're more faker!
-Fake indeed! You both need to wipe your slap off.
-No, honestly, POD!
I look like a potato with no make up on.
I've got no facial features at all and I'm grey, I look like I've got two black eyes.
-Excuse me, you've got quite a bold look going on today.
-OK. You're bringing the '80s back to Manchester.
Manchester's mad for it!
-Do you think you're a bit of a MILF? Or a GILF?
Now, we all love a summer holiday, but here's a girl who dresses as if the sun never set on her vacation.
Hi. I'm Adrienne. I'm 22, from Widnes and I'm a beach babe.
My look is in your face.
I like to think of myself as a blonde Cheryl Cole.
I've got extensions in, peroxide in my hair.
My natural colour's actually red. I absolutely hate it.
Practically everything's faked!
The only thing that is real are these bad boys!
She was just a beautiful child. Natural.
I just can't keep up with her now.
I don't know half of what she's got and what it's used for.
This is what keeps my teeth looking pearly white.
These little gems that I stick on my nails.
I'm always covered in glitter.
There's a blue diamante that follows me round everywhere I go.
I know it's somewhere, lurking, waiting in the shadows.
It's just a nightmare picking up all the gems and the glitter and the eyelashes.
She falls apart.
Coming out the shower, I end up with her hair all over me.
I think with my boyfriend, when he tells me that he wants me
to look a bit more natural, I'd like to consider that.
I don't want him kind of being ashamed of me.
What the hell?! Is that yours?
My look is very much out there. Whether you like my style or not, you're still looking at me.
# Every day I'm shufflin'. #
I would just like to ask POD, please bring my beautiful daughter back.
# Every day I'm shufflin'. #
Adrienne's really a big fan of the whole beach Barbie look.
Fair enough, since she's from that UK holiday hotspot, Widnes!
-There she is. Let's have a chat.
Can I get a Margarita, please? That should liven up our chat, I reckon!
-So who are your style icons?
-I really love the WAG look,
so people like Alex Curran, Cheryl Cole.
-I don't really like her style. It's too classy.
Have you got a footballer as a boyfriend?
-I should probably ask that.
-He's a plumber. He's not a footballer.
-That's a little bit different, isn't it?
-Just a bit.
Adrienne, I've got a list of questions
I'm going to pull out from my bum, which is trying to help you decide
-whether you want to keep the plumber boyfriend, or you want to ditch him and go for a footballer.
Ball cock or ball skills?
-Oh, good cos that sounds rude!
-U bend or Bend It Like Beckham?
-You're such a suck-up! Dirty rags or designer bags?
-Has he ever bought you a designer bag?
-Yeah, he has actually.
-I'll let you keep him. I've just saved your relationship.
You're welcome! So why are you coming to see POD?
If I was to take all of this paint off my face,
I might actually start to love myself again,
as a natural beauty, rather than hiding behind my fakery.
-All the very best of luck. POD awaits, Adrienne.
# We're going to Ibiza... #
-I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?
Adrienne, have you had a fight with a rainbow?
Cos it looks like the rainbow won.
Well, I'll take that as a compliment. I like lots of colours.
How long does it take to look this ridiculous?
I wouldn't say ridiculous! I'd say glamorous. It normally takes me about two or three hours.
-What a waste of time! Do you ever go anywhere without colouring yourself in?
-I just scare people!
-You are scary now!
-I'm not. I look pretty and girly.
-Pretty and girly?!
-Are you ready to see if the public agrees?
-Be brave, Adrienne.
-Run phase one, Public Analysis.
I asked the public, would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?
What do you think they said?
I'd like to think that I was marriage material.
And I'd like to think I was even snog material,
-but I've a sneaky suspicion they might avoid me.
-Let's find out.
I would avoid her cos, truthfully, she looks like a man in drag.
Oh! That's a bit harsh, isn't it?
I'd avoid her cos she looks Fred Flintstone in a dress.
That's a definite Yabba-dabba-don't!
In fact, Adrienne, 100% of the public want to avoid you.
-Oh, that's terrible!
Well, it's their loss, anyway.
The public have spoken. They think you need a make under.
But why do you want one?
I would like to have a make under for my boyfriend
because I want to look a bit more classier and ladylike for him,
rather than cheap, I think.
Time for POD's verdict.
POD computes you are a dodgy day-glo gaudy glittered mess!
You need my plumber's-dummy to handyman-honey make under.
Can't promise that I'll like it, but it's worth a try.
Run phase two, Deep Cleanse.
-Time to de-fake, starting with those ridiculous danglers.
I've got bigger ones than these with big black feathers on.
-There you go. There's my earrings.
-Bet Lynch would be proud.
-Now, say goodbye to those nasty extensions.
-Beauty is pain, Adrienne.
-They do hurt, but...
-There, that's better.
I look so silly!
Run The Make Under, in three, two, one.
Oh, my God!
Oh, My God! I look so different!
Oh, I love it.
You should do. You look stunning.
-Adrienne, did you think you could be a natural beauty?
-I didn't, actually.
I didn't think it was going to be possible. But...good job, POD.
Should we find out what the general public think?
Go on, then.
I think I would marry her because she's my type
and I just think she looks very pretty, from the picture.
I would marry her, yeah. She's a very attractive young lady.
Aw! Bless them all!
Yeah, I'd give her a snog. She's got nice hair. Good natural look.
Aw, I'm definitely going to keep it up then
if everyone else thinks I look this beautiful.
100% of people wanted to avoid you,
now 60% of people want to snog you and 30% want to marry you.
Aw! Thanks, public.
-POD is very pleased with how lovely you look.
-And more pleased that you love it.
-Aw, I do.
It is a complete transformation.
I never ever thought that I would be convinced to go back to my natural hair colour.
I'm so intrigued to see what I think she should look like.
I hope she's as excited as we are. Hopefully she'll make a change.
Just tone it down a bit.
Bit more natural and she'll still look beautiful.
I've got little butterflies in my tummy now.
Oh, my God!
Oh, babe. You look gorgeous.
Oh, sweetheart, you look absolutely beautiful.
-It's more like your natural colour.
-Oh, my God! She's gorgeous!
She doesn't have to hide under layers of fake tan and fakery.
Looks really natural and it really suits her down to the ground.
I'm more Kate Middleton now, rather than Cheryl Cole!
It's so much better than I ever imagined.
Here's to my new look. Cheers!
Hi, POD. You have proved me wrong. Natural beauty does exist.
It's really given me a big confidence boost.
But I can't promise I'm not going to ditch me glitter on a night out though!
Love it or hate it, the WAG look is clearly alive and well in Manchester.
I think it's about time I gave it a whirl myself.
Ooh! I am Wonder WAG and I'm here to see what the people of Manchester make of this look.
My God, stop filming. I'm so shy.
-On a scale of one to ten, how awesome do I look?
It could be, I don't know, from a dead Russian prostitute, that.
We can only dream!
I would tone it down slightly. The hair's a bit high.
Have a look, maybe there's 20 quid up there.
-Do you think like I could get a footballer as a boyfriend?
-Oh, aye. No problem.
Anyone know any footballers interested in one of these?
Are you a footballer?
You do look a bit like a WAG at the moment.
There was a footballer-shaped hole right here for me to put my arm through.
-Do you find this a bit embarrassing? We look so similar right now.
Not quite, no.
-Calling me a gold digger?
Do you think I'd persuade you to rock this look in Manchester?
I can't really stop looking. your arms are massive.
You want to see my stomach. It's better.
# Dah-nah-da! Da-nah-da-da! #
Don't worry about them. They're not footballers. I'm not interested.
All in all, it hasn't been exactly a positive reaction to how I look
and I've nearly broken my ankle about three times, so it's time I go back to my normal look.
Let's not tell POD.
Next up is a shoe-mad mum who thinks she's very well heeled.
It's up to POD to show her that high heels do not mean high class.
Hi. I'm Lottie Lou. I'm 25 and I'm from Essex.
My style is sexy, very in your face. Very, like, bling.
Love my boobs. They're my best asset.
Worth every single penny and I don't regret it.
I'm addicted to shoes. J-Lo's got these ones.
I would not eat for a month, just to have a pair.
You little monkey! What are you doing?
These are my two amazingly beautiful daughters, Paris and Skye.
I do Mum's spray tan.
Best spray tanner in Essex, aren't you?
I have two tans a week, which I have to do, on Monday and Thursday,
so you get the whole week going on.
Litres! Litres of tan get used.
Good tan, Paris.
She looks like an Oompa Loompa.
She can wear make up, but not that much that she's wearing.
# She's a mean and crazy dicta Disco fever and you wonder
# Who's that girl? #
They love their mum being a bit stylish.
But I think they would like to see me like a normal mum.
Please, POD, can you make my mum not be orange no more?
Bring it on!
Lottie spends a lot on her clothes.
I'm going to have a chat with her before the bank manager gets her.
Come with me, young lady, or the credit card is going to get it!
Lottie, I'd like to say hello to you and my eyes immediately
-flick down to another two people I need to say hello to. They're quite massive.
-Holy mackerel! That's pretty bloomin' big!
-It is quite big.
I've got a little quiz for you to try and work out what kind of Essex woman you are.
-And how you describe your look. Rank or reem?
-OMG or LMFAO?
-I like how you left the spaces. Extra drama.
-Well jel or shut-up?
-Don't say that to POD!
-Oh, I will!
-She'll cut your hair!
-You're actually mixed race.
-And you've still got fake tan on.
-My two little girls are the best spray tanners in Essex.
-You're like Fagin, with a gang of children,
but they specialise in beauty rather than pick-pocketing! It's better to have a trade than thieving.
-Why are you coming for a make under?
-I'm doing it for the kids.
I would love them to see more of a natural me. I'm doing it for them to see their reaction.
I can look good natural, I just choose to look like this
and I know it looks good.
-You're a hot mamma.
-I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?
POD computes you are definitely more plastic than fantastic.
-Are you a stripper?
You've certainly come dressed like one.
How would you describe today's costume?
It's a bit of glamour, a bit of ju-ji-ness.
-I think a bit of swagger.
-What is swagg-ah?
Swagg-ah is the amazing look and just, you know to have the hot look.
Maybe you want a vajazzle on you, a little vajazzle on your camera?
-Get you sorted out, a bit of bling?
-What, dare I ask, is a vajazzle?
Vajazzling is like diamonds and you have it on your...nether regions
to make it a little bit sparkly.
-You want to put diamonds round POD's auxiliary port?
-Do you have a vajazzle?
-I might, cheeky!
-Do you think this is the kind of way a mummy should be dressing?
I'm a hot mamma.
A hot mamma whose children compare her to an Oompa Loompa.
# Oompa Loompa doom-pa di do... #
-I don't think I look as bad as an Oompa Loompa. But I do look a bit orange.
-You ARE orange.
What do you expect people to say about your ludicrous look?
That I'm hot, tanned, glamorous.
Little bit of swagger.
Shall we find out what the public think?
-Oh, here we go.
-Run phase one, Public Analysis.
I asked the public, would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?
What do you think they said?
-I think they're going to say snog, to be honest.
Definitely not avoid.
I'd definitely avoid her.
She looks like the kind of girl you'd probably catch something off.
I would avoid her, definitely.
This load of make-up is very scary, actually.
Lottie Lou, 70% of the public want to avoid you.
25% of the public do want to snog you.
Lottie Lou, are you ready to hear POD's verdict?
Ready as I'll ever be, POD.
POD computes that you are a fake-addicted freak
and you need my booby-mess to style-finesse yummy-mummy make under.
-Let's go for it.
-Now it's time for the next stage of the make under.
-Are you ready?
-Ready as I'll ever be, POD.
-Run phase two, Deep Cleanse.
First of all, I'd like you to take off those ridiculous stripper shoes
and hold them up so I can see them.
Please put on your Deep Cleanse dressing gown.
That's it. Cover yourself up.
-Tuck away all those tacky extensions.
-Tacky! Brazilian, mate!
-Well, that tan isn't Brazilian. Wipe it off.
-I'm removing it.
Come on, Lottie. All this whinging will be worth it.
Run the Make Under in three, two, one.
Oh, shu'-up! Oh, my God! Fringe!
Oh, my God! Cut all my hair off!
I love the dress. I think the dress is amazing.
Needs a bit more lip gloss and eyelashes, I think.
I look like a mummy.
-Do you look like a yummy mummy?
-I hope so.
I think I'm still hot but I need some more hair. I feel bald!
Do you want to know what the general public think of your look now?
I would love to know.
I'd probably snog her. She's a nice looking girl. She's got nice hair.
Librarian hair, but aw!
Yeah, I'd probably marry her. She's really nice, really pretty.
Doing all right, ain't I?
Ooh, I'd snog her! Nice hair, nice eyes. Definitely snog her.
-Looks like I'm getting lucky, eh?
-It seems so.
80% of the public either want to snog or marry you.
Is it nice to hear that people are now not distracted by your fakery?
-You're slowly grinding on me, POD.
-What do you think your kids will think of this look?
They'll like it, I think. It's different.
-It's completely different.
-Well, you are finally a natural beauty.
-Finally had your way, eh?
-I always get my way. Goodbye, Lottie Lou.
I'm so excited to see Paris and Skye.
-I'm very, very, very, so excited to see her.
Their reaction is going to really influence, like, how I dress
and how I am, so it's really important.
-You like it?
-What do you think, Skye?
It was amazing coming in. I've missed them so much.
Seeing them run up to me, and like, "Mummy!" It's made it all worthwhile.
I like it because it's nice and glamorous.
-Are you happy?
I'm in two minds about it, to be honest.
You're going to have to wait and see what happens.
Earlier, we met WAG wannabe Adrienne,
whose look was kicked into touch by POD,
but has she kept her make under or given it the red card? Let's find out.
-Adrienne! You look amazing!
-Do you love it?
It took me a while to get used to the hair colour.
I was a bit like, oh, my God! But I have grown to really like it.
-I think POD's done a really good job.
-What do your friends and family make of it?
Everyone that I've spoken to have all said that
I suit it a lot more than my blonde.
-Do you think you're still aspiring to the WAG look?
-I still really like the WAG look,
but I've got to think realistically, I can't afford it!
-So have you got a final message for POD?
-Just a massive thank you, POD.
You've converted me.
I didn't think you could, but you've done a fab job.
POD's war on WAGs is almost over, but for the worst offenders,
only a face off with POD will do.
Hi, my name's Natasha
and I'm here to give you a lesson on the WAG look.
-Do you have to?
-Are you a WAG wannabe?
Step away from the blusher. It looks like someone's walloped you one.
-You look orange.
-It's all natural!
Look me straight in the lens and tell me this is your natural colour.
This is my natural colour.
You look like you've been rolling around in a sandpit.
-Dare I ask what's next, Natasha?
-Some lashes for POD.
-POD computes you are almost naked.
-I feel like it's better if you wear nothing.
You get attention.
But what kind of attention are you getting?
Probably the wrong attention!
-PROBABLY the wrong attention?
You, young lady, are covered in ridiculous orange make-up.
I can't help my natural tan!
-Please tell me you don't go out like this.
-I do go out looking like this.
-So is your boyfriend a footballer?
-He sure isn't.
-He's a tree surgeon.
-Not a great success then.
Earlier, Lottie Lou was transformed
into a natural beauty,
but has she kept her look? I can't wait to see.
-You look different.
-You had a short haircut with a fringe.
-I looked like a librarian.
-A 45-year-old librarian.
-So what have you kept?
I've only got one set of eyelashes, and my hair, it's extensions, but I've gone for a natural colour.
-I was jet black before. I haven't had a spray tan.
-That's a big thing!
-This is the look I'm going for.
-A sexy librarian!
-Sexy librarian, definitely!
What did your kids say about the whole look?
Skye liked it. She kept playing with my hair and she was like, "I like it, Mummy,"
so Skye did much prefer it, but Paris wasn't really into it.
If you had a final message for POD, what would you say?
It's been an amazing experience, it's been a ride,
but the fakery's here to stay.
-It's 1-0 to Lottie!
-Hiya, POD. What a day!
-It's been interesting.
We've seen some sights, hey?
Hideous! And they all want to snag a footballer boyfriend.
-I know, but most of them don't. They seem to have plumbers instead.
-We've even had a tree surgeon.
If she is a shade of mahogany, maybe he'll come in useful when one of her doors falls off.
-Any more wannabes need de-WAGing?
-No. I think we're done for the day.
-Oh. I know what that means.
-Yeah. It's time for me to go. And it's time for you to POD off.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
In Manchester, Ellie tries out the WAG look and POD goes into makeunder overdrive. First up is Adrienne, who is a tanned WAG wannabe - but the trouble is that her boyfriend is a plumber. Then it's Lottie Lou, who has taught her kids how to apply her spray tan, but they hate her Oompa Loompa look. Can POD turn them both back into natural beauties?