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For centuries, explorers have battled with Mother Nature. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
Now, pampered comedian Russell Kane... | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
-It's freezing! -..wants to join their ranks... | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
-I miss my mum. -..by tackling extreme survival. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
-Agh! -With just... | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
-This. -..a mobile phone? | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
How to find water in the desert. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
I use my phone for everything. Turn the choke all the way down. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
Got billions of users around the world. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
The web has all the answers. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
It's here on the map. That's it there. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
Joined by the internet's brightest stars... | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
I'm the son of a Jedi! | 0:00:35 | 0:00:36 | |
..and their legions of followers. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Does it get difficult? | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
I don't think the production team | 0:00:40 | 0:00:41 | |
are always going to be taking it that easy on us. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
Together, they'll face the worst that nature can throw at them. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:48 | |
Russell! | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
I just want to know that if we get bitten by something | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
we've got the antidote. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:53 | |
-Oh, God. -Yeah, the team will ensure that we are safe | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
and that we always have internet reception. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:58 | |
They're accompanied by a barely helpful crew... | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Please. Come on, guys. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
..who will be throwing in the odd curveball. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
The doors don't close. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
They'll use their signal... | 0:01:06 | 0:01:07 | |
We've got a bag of poop. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
..for survival. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:10 | |
Light the bag. Who said that? | 0:01:10 | 0:01:11 | |
Yes! Oh-ho! | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
I love you, internet. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
This time... | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
Whoa! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
..it's internet versus jungle... | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
..as Russell teams up with online singing sensation... | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
Literally every tree looks the same. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
..Conor Maynard... | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
I am going to a jungle! Whoo! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:31 | |
-..to navigate... -This way. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
..the treacherous rainforests. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
-Christ, this is horrible! -..of Costa Rica. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
I didn't sign up for this. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
..and get back to their former lives. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
There's actually no way. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
I just need to get out of this place now. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Godspeed, stupid man. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
I can't believe we jumped in the back of a truck with a stranger. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
-And he doesn't speak a word of English. -I know. Right... | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
Let's fire up the map, see where we are. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
All I know is we've got to go to this house up the road. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
So I'm hoping there'll be someone there to give us a mission. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
That's what normally happens. It could be frickin' anything. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Is that the house? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
That's got to be it. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:36 | |
After you, Bro. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
It looks all right, quite quaint. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
Is there a rave going on at the back or something? | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
-Can you hear that? -Definitely drums. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:55 | |
-There's two of them. -Native Indian. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
-Hello. -Buenos dias. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Oh, yeah, you can do this. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
Hey. Hello. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
Hello. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:05 | |
THEY EXCHANGE GREETINGS | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
-Come in. Come in to my scapula. -There we go. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:16 | |
We'll go round. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Habla ingles? | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
Que habla? | 0:03:37 | 0:03:38 | |
Maleku. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:39 | |
-Maleku. Uno momento. -Have you got a Maleku translator on that? | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
I don't know, mate. I've got 7-in-1. I'm guessing Maleku's not on there. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
No. Habla espanol? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Si. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
Un mision para usted? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
Smile. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
Hold on. I think he's saying we'll become Maleku. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Do you want a filter on? I took a picture of you. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
We will become... | 0:04:12 | 0:04:13 | |
Right, rio means river. # Rio Grande... # Rio. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
-No, no, no, no. -No? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
-I've had an idea. -Right. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
That we should, to say thanks, | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
see if they want to stay at our hotel for a few days. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:51 | |
-Yes. Rio Celeste. -Rio Celeste. -You know it? Right. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
There we are. We'll meet you there. There's a hot tub. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
Girls for a massage. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
He's got something else for us. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
Oh, a medicinal plant. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Masticar. Masticate. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:32 | |
What does it do? | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
-Thank you. Yeah, that looks delicious. -Yeah. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
Shall we do a selfie? Look how hopeful we look at the moment. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
I want to remember this. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:47 | |
-Hapi-kapi. -Hapi-kapi. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
I'll take one as well. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
-Nice one. -Smashed it. -Right. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
-See you later, guys. -Adios. Kapi-kapi. -Kapi-kapi. Whoo! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
Are we ready? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:03 | |
I need to change my clothes. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
I need to dump some stuff. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
I've got too much stuff. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
You move from one spot to the other and the signal goes in and out, | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
so it's going to be even scarier than usual. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
I've got nothing! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
This could be the toughest test yet of the smartphone, | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
and I guess we'll be down to using whatever tools we have on it. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
So I can't tweet the word "help". | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
It's saying I'm connected. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:48 | |
Oh, the word "help" has gone out. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
It was when I held it like that - a tiny bit of signal. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:54 | |
OK, so I have managed to download a few fact sheets. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:02 | |
I've got one on surviving in the jungle. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
-Right. -How to prepare for a trip in the jungle. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
-We'll need that. -How to eat insects. -You smell great, by the way. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
Thank you. You won't be saying that in two days. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
-Now I can. -Dangerous animals. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
Spiders, jaguars are in there. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
-Perfect. -Lighting fires in damp conditions. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
We've got all of those queued up, downloaded, stored, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
so even if this has no signal at all, we're OK, | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
we still use the smartphone. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
-Whoo! -Yeah! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Phones are loaded up with loads of juicy stuff. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
We've got the kit on. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
We need to get in there and start surviving like Maleki. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
-Maleku. -Maleki. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
This is a bit more like what I was dreading the jungle might be like. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
-Yeah. -It's absolutely soaking wet. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
I feel like every twig is a potential snake. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
But we've got to survive out here, man. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
We need to get down to that river, | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
wind our way slowly back through the worst of it, | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
end up back at the hotel, high five, exchange words with the Maleku. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
-Mission complete. -Sick. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
Everything is alive here. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
There's a real ominous feeling | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
that I'm definitely going to be bitten soon. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
Be careful, man. We're in, like, snake city. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Just anything could be a snake, in my mind. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Oh! Jesus! | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
-Agh! -It's alive. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
Conor is so wet he's using his climbing helmet as an umbrella. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
I just feel really wet and miserable and I hate it. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
-There you go. -British, in other words. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Agh! There's more bugs than Stalin... | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
Russia. Agh! | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
What are they? | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
Mozzies, of course! What d'you think they are? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
I've definitely got something on my phone. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
Oh, the frequency app? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's apparently, like, random frequencies. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
These frequencies here - | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
12 kilohertz, 14 kilohertz, 16 kilohertz and 20 kilohertz. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
Anti-mosquito frequencies. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
Good. I've got a bite under my eye. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Oh, it's anti-human. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
-Put that near your ear then. -Yeah, it hurts. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
20? It's the highest you can go. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
Try it. It won't work on the old mosquitoes. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
-No. -I can hear it. I'm going to suck blood anyway. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
I don't think that mosquito thing worked | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
because, as you were on 20 kilohertz, | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
one of them actually went... | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
He's like a Cockney one. "Do you think that stops me coming in? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
"I'll fight you even more, mate." | 0:09:35 | 0:09:36 | |
-It's drawing it in. -It's drawing the bugs in. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
The hertz are definitely drawing the bugs in. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
Was that actually a mosquito? | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
The mosquito's like a really small, tiny fly. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
-What did you think it was? -I thought they were like... This is so embarrassing. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
I've always believed... | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
I thought they were the same shape and size as, like, a dragonfly. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
-What? -I thought they were big. -Do you know what? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
I thought everything here was trying to kill us. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Some stuff wants to move in. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
-Do you know what a botfly is? -Never heard of it. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
Check this. Human botflies are mainly found | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
in Central and South America. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
Hello - that's where we are. The young female botfly lays eggs. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
They're going to go for you first - you get all the female attention. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
-That's true. -The larvae penetrate through the skin | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
and live in the subdermal zones of the skin for more than 60 days. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
The patients feel the movement of the larvae beneath the skin. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
Once the larvae develops and gets complete, it leaves out of the body. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:25 | |
What? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:26 | |
That looks like a pig snout. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
How much does that look like a pig...? | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
Botfly larvae secreting waste. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
-No way! -So they seal the wound | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
and, when you open it, they come out for air. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
Agh! | 0:10:39 | 0:10:40 | |
MAN SCREAMS ON PHONE | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
-That is rank. -OK. I don't feel safe here any more. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Dude, let's get out of here. I am seriously creeped out. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
I was hungry. Now I'm not. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
Careful - vines. Loads of trippy vines. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
It's a bit full-on here. Be careful. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
Conor, I really want to see a parrot while I'm here. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
So I'm trying to play the call to see if we can attract them. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:12 | |
This is the mating call - I'm playing it near your head. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
I don't want a parrot to mate with my head. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
This is mental. That's the call in flight | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
and this is the call when they're sat down. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
That's a proper traditional parrot noise. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
I'd love to see a parrot. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:31 | |
The only one I know how to do is a pigeon. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
-CONOR COOS -I don't know how many pigeons are in the jungle. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:38 | |
That would be just be our luck to see a pigeon. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
Imagine if we saw a pigeon - or a seagull. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
Where are we? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:50 | |
-Literally every tree looks the same. -That's my fault for farting around. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
-Are we going in circles? -I'm not sure which way is east and west. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
-Hold on. -I've definitely seen that tree before. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
-One second, I have answers. -Wait, no, that's different. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
I don't need a signal to confirm we are definitely lost, so... | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
Phone's still working, in a way. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
It's this way, northwards. Sorry, dude. My fault, my fault, my fault. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
We've been going south-east the entire time? | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
Not for long - only since I've been playing with that bird app, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
to be honest! | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
Get the maps app, Conor, check we're heading in the right direction. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
By my calculations on this phone, the river is over there. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:30 | |
This way. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
-Oh, my God! -What the...? | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
Holy shit, it's massive. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:35 | |
It's massive. This is a sheer drop. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
This looks genuinely terrifying. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
We have to get down to the river. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
Not sure I can even do this. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
Didn't you cue up, just in case, something about...? | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
-I had a video. -Right, wicked. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
'You want to put your feet...' | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
This is what not to do. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
-'Agh! -Yeah, you need to move your feet.' | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
-Oh, my God. -It's meant to be funny, but it's just scary. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
That's what my legs did when I injured them. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
'Stop laughing!' | 0:13:03 | 0:13:04 | |
"Stop laughing, you could die." | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
'This isn't funny.' | 0:13:06 | 0:13:07 | |
SHE SCREAMS | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Oh, my God, oh, my God! | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
She's falling down a cliff... | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
This is like that scene in the Lion King, when Mufasa just falls. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
This is no help at all. Oh! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:19 | |
-She's gone! -Turn it off! | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
-Did you get anything else? -No. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
Oh, great(!) | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
Oh, my God, look at this drop. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
Are you ready for this? | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Yeah, man, just like... You know, it's just one of those things. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Just be careful. Oh, my God, that is a long way down. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
Oh, God. That is a rushing waterfall of doom. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
Wait till you look over the edge. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
-I'm not looking over the edge. -It's not like it's even straight. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
It's literally like that video we watched. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
-Oh, no! -The fail video. We could go under a rock... | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
What are we doing?! | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
I mean, the smartphone has not helped us at all. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
It's put fear in me. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:53 | |
Every part of my instinct is not to throw myself off a cliff. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:57 | |
Conor, please don't be too good at it. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
There might be some falling debris, and it's not going to be rock. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
You look great from down here, though. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
Huh...! Jesus...! Nearly broke my fricking wrist already. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
This is not what I signed up for. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
-This is the difficult bit. -I didn't sign up for this. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
Agh... Oh, my God. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
This is such a crap hobby, why would anyone do it? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:28 | |
Oh, shit! Oh, my God, there's still loads to go. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
Mate, the next bit is the hardest bit so far. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
What do you mean? It's all been the hardest bit so far. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
Conor, stop being so good at it! | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
Oh, shitting shit. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
-Go on, Russell. -I'm trying. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
Oh, God. Oh, crap. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
Crapitty-crap-crap. Whoo! | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
You nailed it. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
That was horrible. Absolutely horrible. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
I fell. Three times, I fell. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
Whereas I'm here, like, "Let's do that again!" | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
My God, look how blue the river is! | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
-It's amazing. It looks so good. -It looks like Powerade. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
I'm going to do a quick video diary. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
Myself and Conor, we've made it. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
We abseiled down a very steep ledge. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
We're stood on the rock now, | 0:15:17 | 0:15:18 | |
with our last little patch of light coming down on us. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
I'm just hoping we can find a solution | 0:15:21 | 0:15:22 | |
to food and accommodation before the sun sets completely, | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
because I do not want to be walking around here in the dark. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
-It is very dangerous. -Yeah. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
Right, we're off. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
Let's go. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
-Are you tired? I am so tired. -Do you want to do some of that leaf stuff? | 0:15:39 | 0:15:44 | |
Do some of that leaf stuff? | 0:15:44 | 0:15:45 | |
-Don't you remember? -Oh, the stuff the Maleku gave us? | 0:15:45 | 0:15:49 | |
I thought you meant you had... Go on, then. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
This - remember? | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
Ready? | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
Love techno. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:03 | |
Do you really...? Something about techno. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:16:08 | 0:16:12 | |
-That's the most bitter thing I've ever tasted in my life. -Mm...mm... | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
They're horrible! | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
HE GAGS | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
It's getting worse. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
Aghhh! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
Agh! That is literally what I imagine shit tastes like. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
-That's horrible. -Let's make a move. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Those Malekus are bad arses. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
They chew that...for fun. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
I wonder what they're doing right now? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
They're in a hotel room with the widescreen on. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
-Kapi-kapi. -Kapi-kapi. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
Dude, I'm hungry. I'll try anything at the moment. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
I'm actually starving. Literally, the next thing is food, right? | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
That's the next thing. Did you download something? | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
-Yeah. -Download Jungle Fodder, and Bush Tucker and all of that. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:11 | |
Perfect. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:12 | |
'So I wanted to show you a quick clip on how to essentially eat bugs. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:18 | |
'These grasshoppers are a complete food, guys. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
'I mean, you can literally survive on these things...' | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
We've got to catch some grasshoppers first. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
'Take the grasshoppers. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:26 | |
'Remember to remove the legs and the wings, especially...' | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Legs and wings. Legs and wings have to come off. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
Definitely, especially the back legs. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
'Got my grasshoppers, they're ready to cook. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
'I'm going to just go ahead and set them over the flame.' | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
'Anything that we cook out here in a survival situation | 0:17:39 | 0:17:42 | |
'needs to be well cooked, or you can get tapeworms, | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
'you can get all kinds of things. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
'This is a cicada, and then I've got a normal grasshopper right here. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
'And... | 0:17:51 | 0:17:52 | |
'They just have just kind of a normal flavour. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:56 | |
'Well, I say normal...' | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
Well, I keep moaning that I want protein. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
You know what I'm thinking? There's billions of insects, protein source, | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
hopping around all over the place. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
It could be the future of the human race, to eat these things. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
Even if we could just catch a grasshopper, just one... | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
-We'll share it. -Did that just move, there? | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
Oh, yeah. It just jumped - there it is, look. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
-Grab it, dude. -We have a very, very faint signal here. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:23 | |
I'm going to quickly search - "Are grasshoppers attracted to light?" | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
Because our head torches might be what's attracting them. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
It's a grasshopper party up there! | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
Right, so, apparently, most insects are attracted to light, | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
including grasshoppers, so I'm just going to get the torch on this. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
Want the T-shirt to grab them all afterwards? | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
Well, I thought, because it's a white T-shirt... | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
-Oh, my God, there's one on there. -What's that? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
Yeah, this is working. The food is jumping towards us. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
This is the easiest animal trapping, just shining a light at a T-shirt. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
-Oh, a grasshopper! Yes! -Oh, my God, look at the size of that thing! | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
We've got one massive one, fold it over in the trap cloth. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:56 | |
-There's one. -There's another one. There's a grasshopper. -Come on. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:00 | |
There's a big one. Is the big one still in there? | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
I don't know! I don't want to touch anything. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
I've got an idea. How about we put them | 0:19:05 | 0:19:08 | |
-in the waterproof case from the phones? -OK. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
Just be careful, dude. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Not everything is what it seems. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
It's still in there, big bastard's in there. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
-No, no, dude, you're going to lose him! -Oh, oh! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
Oh, we lost it. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
That's the one we lost, that's literally the one we lost. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
Who's going to grab it? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I don't know if I've got the balls to do this. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
-Rock, paper, scissors. -One, two, three... | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
Rock, paper, scissors. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
-Ahh! -Rock, paper, scissors. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
-Ahh! -You're cheating. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
I'm not cheating! | 0:19:40 | 0:19:42 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
That's the way to do it - the Leaf System 5000. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
-Go, go, go! -Yes! Boom! | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
Oh, that is one ugly dinner. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
-Is that its face? -And it's still happy. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
Oh, my God, Conor, there's something massive on your back! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
Get the bag open. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Please, don't... | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
I'm not joking, I'm not joking. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
Get in. Get in, you...! | 0:20:05 | 0:20:06 | |
Agh! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:07 | |
THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH | 0:20:08 | 0:20:12 | |
Punched me in the face! It punched me in the fucking face! | 0:20:14 | 0:20:17 | |
Oh, my God, what is that? | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
-What is that? -What is that? -That's a walking leaf. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
Oh, what a pair of pussies. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
Please, let me grow just one testicle, just one. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
Don't you understand - I hate this shit, | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
that's why they gave me the job. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
Are we genuinely going to eat the giant cockroach? | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
How clever is it, the wily little bastard? | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
Right. I have it in here. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
For God's sake... Wait, wait, wait. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
Open it, open it! | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
-Quick! -I'm trying, I'm genuinely trying. -Go, go, go, go! | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
-Is it in? -Yes. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
All right, that's enough. We've got a starter, main course, | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
and the cockroach for dessert. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
Oh, my God, what is that ant? | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
-Shit, what is that? -Jesus Christ. Look at the size of that. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
That is like a giant ant. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
Google it. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:01 | |
It's a bullet ant, I've identified it from Google. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
Look. "Paraponera clavata is a species of ant, | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
"commonly known as the bullet ant." | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
There he is. He's there, he's there. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
There, right under my light. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:14 | |
Oh, yeah. That's him. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
-Right, listen... -Why's he trying to steal our grasshoppers? | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
"Named on account of its powerful and potent sting due to its venom. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
"It inhabits humid low land..." Hello! "..in South America. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:27 | |
They're really dangerous. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:28 | |
Powerful and potent poison. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
That is it, look. That's him. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:32 | |
"It rates above tarantulas, wasps, and equals being shot." | 0:21:32 | 0:21:37 | |
-What about a shark? -Dude, it equals being shot. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
And we're having mild banter over it with a torch. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
Oh, my God, that'll put you in hospital, dude. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
-The internet literally just saved our lives. -Yeah, just saved us. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
That could even be worthy of an Instagram, as well. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
I love how we've completely forgotten about the grasshopper | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
-and all we care about is... -That changed into a big drama. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
It honestly did. Holy shit...! | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
-Are you winding me up? -I'm only joking. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
Dude, you shouldn't do shit like that! | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
You shouldn't do it. That's the fucking strength of a bullet. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
That's not funny. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:05 | |
I'm not going to lie - | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
as much as I genuinely don't want to touch these rhino crickets, | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
I am actually starving. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
What are we going to have to do now? | 0:22:12 | 0:22:13 | |
Make a fire. That should be fun. Come on. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
We have to get a fire going tonight, man. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
Or we're not going to cook our delicious crickets. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:23 | |
What you got on the phone? Any videos cued up? | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
Let's have a look. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:26 | |
'They were going to be just doing a quick demo on how to start a fire | 0:22:26 | 0:22:32 | |
'with just some simple hand sanitiser.' | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
We've got that. Let's try it. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
'What you do, about a quarter-sized blob, like this. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:42 | |
'So, let's see if we can get this to go.' | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
Have you ever used a ferro knife before? | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
-No. -Right, so, we used these before. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
You just create bare sparks, innit? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
It's 62% alcohol... | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
Whoa! It's lit! | 0:23:00 | 0:23:02 | |
Shut up! Have you got some leaves? | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
-Scrunched-up ones. -It's kind of weird when shit actually works. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:08 | |
It's time to start thinking about roasting some crickets. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
I feel like, of all the things on my bucket list, to do in my life, | 0:23:13 | 0:23:17 | |
this was just nowhere near it. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
-This is not on it. -This is, like, the bottom. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:21 | |
Oh, you're so lucky you got the big one. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
More protein for Conor. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:25 | |
We're going to spear it while it's on the floor. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
Did you hear the crunch? Oh, my God! | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
I like my crickets well done. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
OK, now, the piece de resistance. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
-Oh, my God! -D'you think that one's cooking? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:42 | |
This is the last thing I would ever put on my rider. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
This one is, like, definitely finished. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
Cockroach still slightly moving, now and again. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:51 | |
I mean, they are hard bastards, aren't they? | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
Shall I take its wings off? | 0:23:53 | 0:23:54 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
I think this is the bit you literally eat. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
Right. OK... | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
I'm going in. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
Ugh! | 0:24:10 | 0:24:11 | |
It tastes like pork. I wasn't expecting that. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
Pork, of all things. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
I think it tastes like shrimp. Similar to shrimp. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
Half shrimp, half pork. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
-What about the cockroach? -It's going to be a different journey. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:31 | |
-Are we actually going to try it? -We certainly are, my man. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
-Name's Roach. Cock Roach. -God. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
Right, so, after a night | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
of being out here in the jungle in Costa Rica, catching... | 0:24:40 | 0:24:45 | |
Well, catching/running away from insects all around the floor, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:53 | |
we've finally put together a fire and ate a bunch of... | 0:24:53 | 0:24:57 | |
What are they called? Rhino crickets? | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
-Rhino crickets. -Rhino crickets. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:00 | |
And the piece de la resistance... | 0:25:00 | 0:25:04 | |
piece de la resistance, is... | 0:25:04 | 0:25:05 | |
-An actual cockroach. -A giant cockroach... | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
-On a stick. -..that we... Well, I say WE captured. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
-Did we capture it? I held the bag. -We captured it together, bro. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
Yeah, we did it together. It was a team effort. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
-That's why we are going to eat it together. -And... | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
Yeah! | 0:25:18 | 0:25:19 | |
Winging it. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
-Eugh... -Eat. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
This is the bleakest moment of my whole career. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
How are you going to split it in half? | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
-I don't know, dude! -Did you bring a knife? | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
-Are we going to bother with cutlery now? -A little incision! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:33 | |
I tell you what... | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
..you can just have a little taster. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
-Ready? -I've got just like the crunchy bit, like a potato skin. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
I can feel the tapeworm going in, I can feel it. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
-That one just... That one doesn't taste normal. -That's not good. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
-LAUGHING: -I can't do that! | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
Right, I need some rest. I've got to... | 0:25:59 | 0:26:00 | |
We have to get some sleep or we're not going to be able to deal with | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
whatever challenges the jungle throws at us tomorrow. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
-Let's do this. -Let's do it. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
All I can taste is that fishy cockroach taste. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
-Can you taste it? -Disgusting. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:12 | |
It's rank, isn't it? | 0:26:12 | 0:26:13 | |
GENTLE FLUTE MELODY | 0:26:15 | 0:26:19 | |
HE SPEAKS MALEKU | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
The beginning of day two. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:39 | |
Literally just woke up. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
Let me tell you, sleeping in a tent | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
in the middle of the chorus | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
that we slept in last night is no cop out. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
No pillow, which I kind of was a little bit upset about - | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
the standard object that you'd find in a bed, but we didn't get that. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:56 | |
The rhino crickets and the cockroach we had for dinner | 0:26:57 | 0:27:02 | |
were strangely satisfying in the sense that... | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
they take your appetite away completely for quite a long time! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
I feel a bit more tired today than I was yesterday, | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
so we will see what effect that has on me. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
Hopefully, I don't scream at Russell, so... | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
How weird is that?! | 0:27:18 | 0:27:19 | |
I can't believe that's an insect, it looks fully like a leaf. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:23 | |
Amazing! I wonder what it tastes like? | 0:27:23 | 0:27:25 | |
All I want to do now is eat everything when I see it. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:28 | |
Looks like it would FEEL like a leaf. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
Yeah, it does, it has the texture of a leaf. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
Urgh! | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
Hey, Leafy. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:44 | |
-AMERICAN ACCENT: -Did you hear a couple of rhino crickets | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
were hanging around here last night? | 0:27:47 | 0:27:48 | |
Joey and Benny. Great couple of guys. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
Didn't come back last night. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:52 | |
Don't know if any of your team saw anything? | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
Um... | 0:27:54 | 0:27:56 | |
Maybe. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:58 | |
Morning, mate. How was your sleep last night? | 0:28:00 | 0:28:03 | |
-Mine was pretty broken. -Mine was awful. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:05 | |
I think I must have woken up about four times. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
I can't sleep on my side. I've got no pillow, | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
which I was whingeing about, but I have found this online. | 0:28:10 | 0:28:14 | |
In our basic emergency provisions bag, I know we have some of these. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:17 | |
We are going to look at about 20 different ways | 0:28:17 | 0:28:19 | |
to use condoms in a survival situation. | 0:28:19 | 0:28:21 | |
Electronics are very susceptible to the elements, | 0:28:21 | 0:28:24 | |
so if you are packing something, | 0:28:24 | 0:28:25 | |
you want to take your condom, place it around... | 0:28:25 | 0:28:29 | |
-That's a good idea. -..and I'm sure it will still receive a signal. | 0:28:29 | 0:28:32 | |
If you really get desperate, it could be used as a pillow. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
Oh, right. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:36 | |
-OK, maybe not. -So it can't be used as a pillow? | 0:28:36 | 0:28:41 | |
Inflated, they can be used as a signalling device. | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
Over here! We are in trouble! | 0:28:44 | 0:28:46 | |
You would not go towards him, would you? | 0:28:46 | 0:28:48 | |
And they can make an improvised balloon for kids. | 0:28:48 | 0:28:51 | |
Imagine giving that to kids! | 0:28:51 | 0:28:52 | |
Play with a condom. See you on a register. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:55 | |
Be strong, be of good courage. | 0:28:55 | 0:28:57 | |
God bless America. | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
Long live the Republic. | 0:28:59 | 0:29:00 | |
Wow. | 0:29:02 | 0:29:04 | |
I wonder who he is going to vote for in the election(?) | 0:29:04 | 0:29:06 | |
Right... Not all knowledge on the internet is great. | 0:29:06 | 0:29:10 | |
I've been surprised by how much the internet has helped us on this trip, | 0:29:10 | 0:29:13 | |
how much information is out there, how quickly you can get it, | 0:29:13 | 0:29:16 | |
as opposed to just having to, like, search for it yourself. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:19 | |
-You couldn't have done this ten years ago. -No. | 0:29:19 | 0:29:21 | |
Not with a Lonely Planet and an insect book, but in ten years, | 0:29:21 | 0:29:24 | |
when there is superfast whatever it's going to be called, | 0:29:24 | 0:29:27 | |
the Zuckerberg network, over the whole planet, | 0:29:27 | 0:29:30 | |
then I think you'll be OK. | 0:29:30 | 0:29:33 | |
There will be ultraviolet apps, there will be... | 0:29:33 | 0:29:36 | |
But will that take away the whole aspect | 0:29:36 | 0:29:38 | |
-of being in the middle of nowhere? -This is the problem. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:40 | |
By answering all the questions, do we then kill off mystery? | 0:29:40 | 0:29:44 | |
-That is profound! Wow! -I feel like we should take a selfie. | 0:29:44 | 0:29:48 | |
Shall I be in the background, like a pinhead? It's quite funny, look. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:51 | |
Yeah. | 0:29:51 | 0:29:52 | |
Nailed it. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:55 | |
I love a pinhead in the background picture. | 0:29:55 | 0:29:57 | |
Mate, according to our map, it's saying it's only like a small hike. | 0:30:02 | 0:30:06 | |
Just got to keep heading through the jungle. | 0:30:06 | 0:30:09 | |
I am soaked through, through to my pants. Every part of me is wet. | 0:30:09 | 0:30:12 | |
May need to get a waterproof cover on the phone, | 0:30:12 | 0:30:15 | |
or we won't have a phone. | 0:30:15 | 0:30:16 | |
-Shall we try the condoms? -Let's do it. | 0:30:16 | 0:30:19 | |
Why have you got them creepily handy all the time? | 0:30:19 | 0:30:21 | |
You told me to make sure that I have them at all times! | 0:30:21 | 0:30:24 | |
This is the weirdest thing I've ever done. | 0:30:24 | 0:30:26 | |
You are a pro at this. | 0:30:26 | 0:30:28 | |
Oh, it's ribbed. Is it ribbed? | 0:30:28 | 0:30:30 | |
Oh, it's not ribbed! Who bought ribbed?! | 0:30:30 | 0:30:32 | |
The phone is getting so much pleasure now! | 0:30:32 | 0:30:34 | |
That's made the phone totally safe to put up my arse now. | 0:30:34 | 0:30:37 | |
We have to make this waterproof, because without this... | 0:30:37 | 0:30:40 | |
We don't like unsafe sexting. | 0:30:40 | 0:30:42 | |
Now we can sext with protection. | 0:30:42 | 0:30:44 | |
We have one waterproof phone. How clever. | 0:30:44 | 0:30:47 | |
This really is the third tribesman, | 0:30:47 | 0:30:50 | |
the one with the knowledge. Without this, we're going down hard. | 0:30:50 | 0:30:53 | |
-Shall we press on? -Let's do it. | 0:30:53 | 0:30:55 | |
Ugh, went down my back! Argh! | 0:30:55 | 0:30:58 | |
It's like every experience is unpleasant. | 0:30:58 | 0:31:01 | |
Can't we do something that's fun? | 0:31:01 | 0:31:03 | |
I wonder what those Malekus are doing right now? | 0:31:05 | 0:31:07 | |
Just think of all of the Maleku that have walked this path. | 0:31:20 | 0:31:23 | |
I can hear the river in both directions. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:25 | |
This way. | 0:31:27 | 0:31:28 | |
-Is this safe? -Oh, my God! | 0:31:31 | 0:31:34 | |
-Whoa! -I can see the river. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:36 | |
Yes! Thank you, maps! | 0:31:36 | 0:31:39 | |
Thank you, internet! I can see the river. | 0:31:39 | 0:31:43 | |
That looks dangerous. | 0:31:43 | 0:31:44 | |
Ohh...! | 0:31:47 | 0:31:49 | |
-God... -This is more slippery than David Cameron's forehead. | 0:31:49 | 0:31:54 | |
Look at the - there is no other word for it - skid mark. Oh! | 0:31:54 | 0:31:58 | |
Oh, crikey. | 0:31:58 | 0:32:00 | |
Crikey! | 0:32:00 | 0:32:02 | |
Grab onto the vine, quick. Remember, from the abseiling, yesterday. | 0:32:02 | 0:32:06 | |
We are using yesterday's knowledge to survive today. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
That is what it's about, dude. Learn and adapt. | 0:32:09 | 0:32:12 | |
No bum-sliding for us. | 0:32:12 | 0:32:15 | |
Oh, yes! It is going to ping back on us. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:18 | |
Stand clear. | 0:32:18 | 0:32:19 | |
We just came down a slope that most other people would have bum-slid on, | 0:32:20 | 0:32:24 | |
but because of yesterday's knowledge, we abseiled using a vine. | 0:32:24 | 0:32:27 | |
-We are bad-arse. -We are literally owning the jungle. | 0:32:27 | 0:32:29 | |
I wouldn't be surprised if I start speaking Maleku in a minute. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:32 | |
Choppy-choppy! | 0:32:32 | 0:32:34 | |
Oh, my God. Look at the colour of it! | 0:32:34 | 0:32:38 | |
It's like melted Smurf! Look at it! | 0:32:38 | 0:32:41 | |
Wow! | 0:32:41 | 0:32:42 | |
Why is it so blue? | 0:32:44 | 0:32:45 | |
Have you ever seen anything that colour before? | 0:32:45 | 0:32:48 | |
That's like water on steroids. | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
It's like a Maldives holiday brochure, but more violent. | 0:32:50 | 0:32:53 | |
We've still got to get across it, though. | 0:32:53 | 0:32:55 | |
I honestly don't know how we are going to do that bit. | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
-No. -Can you see what we can see? | 0:32:59 | 0:33:01 | |
-I ain't going across that! -I think we may just have found a way across. | 0:33:01 | 0:33:04 | |
Surely not, surely not. | 0:33:04 | 0:33:06 | |
There is absolutely no way. | 0:33:07 | 0:33:09 | |
There is no way we are going across that. | 0:33:09 | 0:33:11 | |
You're in trainers, I'm in wellington boots. | 0:33:11 | 0:33:13 | |
There will be people screaming at the television at this point. | 0:33:13 | 0:33:16 | |
I genuinely can't believe we're doing this. | 0:33:16 | 0:33:20 | |
We are just sort of brokenly doing it to get back to the hotel. | 0:33:20 | 0:33:24 | |
The Malekus can have our lives! | 0:33:24 | 0:33:25 | |
I can't believe we're going on this thing. | 0:33:25 | 0:33:28 | |
Whoa! | 0:33:30 | 0:33:32 | |
Aargh! This is actually scary! | 0:33:32 | 0:33:34 | |
It looks a lot further now you are here. | 0:33:36 | 0:33:39 | |
It looks like another city, the distance we've got to travel. | 0:33:39 | 0:33:42 | |
-Terrifying. -So slippy. | 0:33:42 | 0:33:44 | |
This was not on the Google map at all. This was not on the maps. | 0:33:44 | 0:33:48 | |
That blue water is not beautiful any more. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:51 | |
Whoa...! | 0:33:51 | 0:33:53 | |
Careful, man. | 0:33:53 | 0:33:54 | |
This bit doesn't look very good fun. | 0:34:01 | 0:34:03 | |
-This is bad news. -How are you doing, Russ? | 0:34:11 | 0:34:14 | |
Ahh...! | 0:34:15 | 0:34:16 | |
OK... OK! | 0:34:20 | 0:34:23 | |
Wasn't too bad. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:26 | |
I nearly slipped, right in the middle. | 0:34:28 | 0:34:30 | |
Wow. That was a rush! | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
We cleared that. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:38 | |
That was quite sick. | 0:34:38 | 0:34:40 | |
Now is the time to start thinking about food. | 0:34:52 | 0:34:56 | |
-Dude, that's a heart of palm, that one there. -That tree? | 0:34:56 | 0:34:58 | |
Yeah, look. From the wikiHow page - heart of palm, you can eat them. | 0:34:58 | 0:35:02 | |
-That's literally it. -There was no scale, so I didn't know | 0:35:02 | 0:35:04 | |
-they were that big. -How do you eat it? -Chop the whole thing down. | 0:35:04 | 0:35:07 | |
I'm going to check if we can eat it raw on Twitter. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:09 | |
I know you can eat it cooked - I've had it in restaurants. | 0:35:09 | 0:35:11 | |
Can you eat it raw? | 0:35:11 | 0:35:15 | |
Here we are. Sharon Forbes says... | 0:35:17 | 0:35:20 | |
Name-drop! | 0:35:25 | 0:35:26 | |
Oh, look, I've got something here. Check this out. | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
-MAN: -Heart of palm basically is the germinal centre of a palm tree, | 0:35:28 | 0:35:32 | |
and it's the green area. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:34 | |
At the centre of that green area is a white cone... | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
It's the white cone of stuff in the middle. | 0:35:37 | 0:35:39 | |
Mainly, what you're looking for | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
is the green germinal centre at the top of the tree. | 0:35:41 | 0:35:44 | |
The green germinal centre at the top of the tree - it's up there. | 0:35:44 | 0:35:48 | |
He is eating it raw as well. | 0:35:48 | 0:35:50 | |
Dude, I can't wait to try that! | 0:35:50 | 0:35:52 | |
It is like a cross between a Cheesestring and... | 0:35:52 | 0:35:55 | |
-And celery. -Yeah, Cheesestring and leaves. -Cheesestring! -Awesome. | 0:35:55 | 0:35:58 | |
We have a job ahead of us, but it's going to be worth it | 0:35:58 | 0:36:00 | |
-to have an authentic jungle snack. -Let's do it. | 0:36:00 | 0:36:02 | |
Yes, we get to use our knives! | 0:36:02 | 0:36:03 | |
Stand clear! | 0:36:03 | 0:36:05 | |
My God, I've turned into such a wuss. | 0:36:09 | 0:36:11 | |
I feel bad about hurting the tree! Sorry! | 0:36:11 | 0:36:14 | |
It looks a little bit shaky. | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
Do you want a go? Do not chop with your limb in the way. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:22 | |
Yeah, yeah, do that. Do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:36:24 | 0:36:27 | |
-COCKNEY ACCENT: -Yeah, d'you like that, yeah? | 0:36:27 | 0:36:30 | |
Action shot. Little video. | 0:36:30 | 0:36:32 | |
-I feel like it's going to go. -It's going to go. | 0:36:32 | 0:36:35 | |
Right, it's going to go that way. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
Turn your 3-D off! | 0:36:37 | 0:36:38 | |
-Yeah! -Whoo! | 0:36:38 | 0:36:40 | |
That's what happens when you mess with the Jungle Crew! | 0:36:40 | 0:36:42 | |
Dude, we just chopped a tree down with a fricking machete. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:45 | |
-Beautiful. -That is badass! | 0:36:45 | 0:36:47 | |
-Dude! -Unbelievably, dinner is locked in there somewhere. | 0:36:47 | 0:36:50 | |
Yeah, that looks good. | 0:36:52 | 0:36:54 | |
Dinner! | 0:36:54 | 0:36:56 | |
Right. | 0:36:56 | 0:36:57 | |
-I reckon about here. -That looks soft. | 0:36:57 | 0:36:59 | |
-Done. -There it is, the good stuff! | 0:37:01 | 0:37:04 | |
That's what Papa Bear needs - some honey for his cave. | 0:37:04 | 0:37:07 | |
There's honey in there. Mm! | 0:37:07 | 0:37:09 | |
We have to now split it, like they did in the video. | 0:37:09 | 0:37:12 | |
-Then, if you like, you can have a peeling session. -Let's do it. | 0:37:12 | 0:37:16 | |
-Yeah, go on, then, man. -Let's do it. | 0:37:16 | 0:37:17 | |
-Whoa! -I'm so hungry, I can't wait. | 0:37:22 | 0:37:25 | |
Shit - we chopped down a whole tree for that?! | 0:37:25 | 0:37:27 | |
I feel out of order. | 0:37:27 | 0:37:28 | |
It's like killing a chicken and eating the beak. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:31 | |
Oh, hello, that looks like it. | 0:37:32 | 0:37:35 | |
-There we go. That's it. -Is that the heart of the palm? | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
-It looks... Yeah, it looks like... -Just get stuck in. | 0:37:38 | 0:37:41 | |
How would you describe it? | 0:37:44 | 0:37:47 | |
-Lovely. -It's like raw mushroom. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:49 | |
-It's absolutely disgusting. -Do you not like it? | 0:37:49 | 0:37:52 | |
Dude! We haven't eaten for days! | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
I don't like it at all. That's disgusting. So grim! | 0:37:54 | 0:37:57 | |
Cockroach for your dinner tonight, then. | 0:37:57 | 0:37:59 | |
This is the stuff they sell in tins. | 0:38:05 | 0:38:07 | |
CONOR GAGS, RUSSELL LAUGHS | 0:38:07 | 0:38:10 | |
No, I really don't like it. | 0:38:12 | 0:38:13 | |
I don't know why. My mouth just doesn't agree with the taste of it. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:16 | |
I'm sorry, we should have checked before we ordered. | 0:38:16 | 0:38:18 | |
You got anything else? | 0:38:18 | 0:38:20 | |
That is... I can't swallow it. | 0:38:20 | 0:38:23 | |
I can't do it. | 0:38:25 | 0:38:26 | |
I'm going to have a nibble on that while we go exploring. | 0:38:26 | 0:38:29 | |
-It's all yours, buddy. -This is hard-core Maleku. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:32 | |
WATER RUSHES | 0:38:52 | 0:38:55 | |
I recognise that sound. | 0:38:55 | 0:38:57 | |
An angry river. | 0:38:57 | 0:38:59 | |
Maybe you can go first this time, you know. | 0:38:59 | 0:39:01 | |
I went first with the abseiling. | 0:39:01 | 0:39:03 | |
This looks really dangerous. | 0:39:12 | 0:39:13 | |
Come on, man, we can't put it off any longer, | 0:39:13 | 0:39:16 | |
-as terrifying as it is. -Let's do it. | 0:39:16 | 0:39:18 | |
We have to find a place to cross it up there, OK? | 0:39:18 | 0:39:20 | |
Right, OK. | 0:39:20 | 0:39:21 | |
That's all that standing between us and getting back up to that hotel | 0:39:23 | 0:39:26 | |
-and finishing this thing. -Yeah. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:28 | |
We've got to do it, man. I hate this river. | 0:39:28 | 0:39:32 | |
How can something so beautiful be so vile? | 0:39:32 | 0:39:34 | |
I just need to get out of this place now. | 0:39:37 | 0:39:39 | |
I feel like this is where the jungle could, like, | 0:39:39 | 0:39:41 | |
-seriously bitch-slap us. -Yeah, we could get slayed here. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:44 | |
I don't think I ever even passed my level-two breaststroke either. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:47 | |
-I think I did five lengths, max... -I'm dreading this. | 0:39:50 | 0:39:52 | |
..then I thought, "I don't want to be a swimmer." | 0:39:52 | 0:39:55 | |
Bear Grylls always says rivers are the highway of the jungle. | 0:39:55 | 0:39:58 | |
Well, I'm sick of being clamped. Let's move. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
-Do you want to go first? -No, you go first, mate. | 0:40:02 | 0:40:05 | |
No rock, paper, scissors here. There's just rock everywhere! | 0:40:05 | 0:40:08 | |
Oh, my God, it's freezing! | 0:40:08 | 0:40:10 | |
I'm shaking. | 0:40:10 | 0:40:11 | |
It's really strong, the current is really strong. | 0:40:11 | 0:40:14 | |
It's really dangerous, isn't it? | 0:40:14 | 0:40:16 | |
There is a bit of rock, you can sort of fall down in between here. | 0:40:16 | 0:40:20 | |
That's not safe. It's like a gap between two rocks. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:23 | |
Come this way, come this way. | 0:40:23 | 0:40:24 | |
-Shitting shit, that's deep, there. -Whoa! | 0:40:26 | 0:40:30 | |
We're going to have to swim this bit. | 0:40:30 | 0:40:31 | |
Careful, man. You have to come in here. | 0:40:38 | 0:40:41 | |
Grab that. | 0:40:41 | 0:40:43 | |
-Are you going to go for it? -Dude, there is no way out of this now. | 0:40:47 | 0:40:50 | |
Ready? | 0:40:50 | 0:40:51 | |
-Oh, my God! -Whoa! | 0:41:01 | 0:41:05 | |
Just a little water, Conor. | 0:41:19 | 0:41:21 | |
Come on, Conor, this way. | 0:41:21 | 0:41:22 | |
Unbelievable! That was so powerful. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
Oh...! | 0:41:28 | 0:41:30 | |
That was bad. | 0:41:30 | 0:41:32 | |
Oh, my God, I got washed so badly. | 0:41:33 | 0:41:35 | |
Oh, Jesus... | 0:41:35 | 0:41:37 | |
-That was scary. How scared were you there? -Mate... | 0:41:43 | 0:41:46 | |
-When we jumped out on that bit... -Yeah. | 0:41:46 | 0:41:48 | |
..I felt like I had no control. | 0:41:48 | 0:41:49 | |
-It's the rocks. -Either I'm going to hit something and luckily stop, | 0:41:49 | 0:41:53 | |
or I am going to carry on going with the river. | 0:41:53 | 0:41:55 | |
It's only 15 minutes, tops, from here, | 0:41:55 | 0:41:58 | |
-now that we have crossed the river. -Let's get there. | 0:41:58 | 0:42:00 | |
All we have to do is walk, soaked through. | 0:42:00 | 0:42:02 | |
What's uncomfortable about that(?) | 0:42:02 | 0:42:04 | |
-It's getting dark, man. -We need to get back. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:11 | |
Can't tell you what it feels like to be this soaked through, | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
walking in a humid jungle. It is not a pleasant feeling. | 0:42:13 | 0:42:17 | |
I feel like I've pooed myself. It's a horrible feeling. | 0:42:17 | 0:42:21 | |
I am getting major chafing right now. | 0:42:21 | 0:42:23 | |
I have got a degree of chafing. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:25 | |
Oh...! | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
Do you reckon the Malekus have enjoyed being us? | 0:42:28 | 0:42:30 | |
Yeah. I can't wait to be us. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:32 | |
I'm so tired. | 0:42:33 | 0:42:35 | |
We are in the hotel grounds. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
Feels like civilisation. | 0:42:37 | 0:42:39 | |
Can't believe we have got, like, an Indiana Jones Bridge. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:42 | |
Dude, hold on. This would be a crap place to die. | 0:42:42 | 0:42:46 | |
It's actually really scary. | 0:42:46 | 0:42:48 | |
I'm still scared! | 0:42:48 | 0:42:50 | |
I might even be scared in my hotel room. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:53 | |
Oh, my God, how is that safe?! How?! | 0:42:53 | 0:42:56 | |
Nailed it. | 0:42:56 | 0:42:57 | |
Nailed it! | 0:42:57 | 0:42:59 | |
-This is it, man. -Look! | 0:43:02 | 0:43:05 | |
-No! -That is a proper path. | 0:43:05 | 0:43:06 | |
That wasn't even a path, that was just stones. | 0:43:06 | 0:43:09 | |
This is, like, crazy paving from the '80s. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
Now we have got to find the Maleku. | 0:43:11 | 0:43:13 | |
-Uh... -Shit, man. I'm really suddenly self-conscious | 0:43:13 | 0:43:16 | |
about what we're wearing. | 0:43:16 | 0:43:18 | |
I hope we don't see any of the other guests. | 0:43:21 | 0:43:24 | |
Which way? | 0:43:24 | 0:43:25 | |
I still need the compass, this is pathetic! | 0:43:25 | 0:43:28 | |
Ah... See, this is the type of jungle I like. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:36 | |
What is going on? Where is everyone? | 0:43:36 | 0:43:37 | |
They're not even going to serve us at the hotel bar. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:39 | |
What if there has been an apocalypse while we were out there, | 0:43:39 | 0:43:42 | |
-and everyone's dead? -Do you know what? | 0:43:42 | 0:43:44 | |
And the only people that are left are the Maleku. | 0:43:44 | 0:43:47 | |
I'd still serve myself a beer. | 0:43:47 | 0:43:48 | |
Then I would call home and check if everyone was OK. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
I would still have a beer first. Is that bad? | 0:43:51 | 0:43:53 | |
I'd be right there with you. | 0:43:53 | 0:43:55 | |
Oh, a swimming pool! | 0:43:55 | 0:43:56 | |
Look at the Jacuzzi. Look at the Jacuzzi. | 0:43:58 | 0:44:00 | |
They're in the Jacuzzi! | 0:44:01 | 0:44:03 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:44:03 | 0:44:05 | |
-Hapi-kapi. -Hapi-kapi. -Hapi-kapi. | 0:44:05 | 0:44:08 | |
Oh, man! You look like you are enjoying yourselves. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:11 | |
Oh, they are very happy. | 0:44:11 | 0:44:13 | |
-Shall we come in? -Can I come in in my jungle gear? | 0:44:13 | 0:44:16 | |
-Oh...! -Oh, man. | 0:44:16 | 0:44:18 | |
Oh, my goodness. | 0:44:18 | 0:44:20 | |
-Well, guys... -Being Maleku is exhausting. | 0:44:24 | 0:44:27 | |
We had cockroach and grasshopper. | 0:44:34 | 0:44:36 | |
Si. | 0:44:38 | 0:44:40 | |
We loved it. We finished all of them. | 0:44:41 | 0:44:43 | |
'I ate the bugs, I camped in the bush,' | 0:44:46 | 0:44:47 | |
it is not something I would choose to repeat, | 0:44:47 | 0:44:50 | |
but it was pretty bad-arse. | 0:44:50 | 0:44:52 | |
Are we Maleku now? | 0:44:58 | 0:44:59 | |
8%. 'I really enjoyed' | 0:45:05 | 0:45:06 | |
the cultural exchange, when you don't have language. | 0:45:06 | 0:45:09 | |
-ALL: -# Maleku, Maleku... # | 0:45:09 | 0:45:14 | |
-Kapi-kapi. -Kapi-kapi. | 0:45:17 | 0:45:20 | |
Do we have any idea if they are naked right now? | 0:45:22 | 0:45:24 | |
'This is the last thing I would ever choose to do. | 0:45:28 | 0:45:30 | |
'I think, to get so messy, so wet, and just' | 0:45:30 | 0:45:33 | |
have everything against you the entire time, | 0:45:33 | 0:45:35 | |
I would never have chosen it, | 0:45:35 | 0:45:36 | |
'but I really did enjoy it and I really had loads and loads of fun.' | 0:45:36 | 0:45:39 | |
'Conor was amazing on this trip, | 0:45:39 | 0:45:41 | |
'but he was rubbish, like me, in every department.' | 0:45:41 | 0:45:44 | |
We are pampered little city boys who like taking selfies, | 0:45:44 | 0:45:47 | |
hanging out on the internet and having a job based on | 0:45:47 | 0:45:50 | |
poncing around on stage. I don't want to change it. | 0:45:50 | 0:45:52 | |
Stupid Man, Smart Phone. | 0:46:01 | 0:46:02 | |
I'd just like to say we only picked the title cos it sounds funny. | 0:46:02 | 0:46:05 | |
I would declare the smartphone won. | 0:46:05 | 0:46:10 | |
'I think people will be surprised how well we did.' | 0:46:10 | 0:46:12 | |
Can we do...una selfie? | 0:46:25 | 0:46:27 | |
-Squeeze in. -Look at my hair! -Oh, God. | 0:46:32 | 0:46:34 | |
-Kapi-kapi. -Kapi-kapi. | 0:46:34 | 0:46:37 | |
Video. OK. We have come to the end of our mission. | 0:46:37 | 0:46:40 | |
These are our friends. Say kapi-kapi. | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
-Kapi-kapi. -This is Conor. Say, "Hello, I'm from Brighton." | 0:46:42 | 0:46:45 | |
Hello, I'm from Brighton. | 0:46:45 | 0:46:47 | |
And it's been amazing, | 0:46:47 | 0:46:48 | |
we've survived in the rainforest jungle | 0:46:48 | 0:46:51 | |
only using a phone, and it's over now. | 0:46:51 | 0:46:53 | |
I'd like to say I'm sad, but I'm not. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:55 | |
That's the end. Goodbye. | 0:46:55 | 0:46:56 | |
-Bye! -Adios, adios! | 0:46:56 | 0:47:00 |