Episode 10 The Apprentice: You're Fired

You haven't used any of your skills,

any of the things that you claimed that you're experts in.

A disgusting result. I don't want to hear anything more from you.

You're fired. You're fired. You're fired.

APPLAUSE

This programme contains some strong language.

Thank you very much, thank you. Good evening, I'm Jack Dee.

Welcome to The Apprentice: You're Fired.

So, two losing teams, zero orders.

I think it's fair to say that none of the candidates covered themselves

in glory tonight, although Richard was as full of confidence as ever.

Looks like we're all on track. Victory is within our meets-ts.

LAUGHTER

Yes, that's where you want your victory -

within your mints-ts-ts-ts...!

Meanwhile, Team Versatile's pitch

had identified a few teething problems.

There were things that they wasn't that keen on.

'The name, all the packaging and also'

the product itself, either.

Nice work, guys. Take the rest of the day off.

And there was an awkward moment at the house.

-Olympic Park, 20 minutes.

-Eurgh!

Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. Leave you to it.

As always, I'm joined by a panel of guests to discuss the leftovers

and there are plenty of them.

This week, it's a privilege to welcome CEO of Graze snacks,

Anthony Fletcher,

it's my pleasure to welcome actor and writer Ruth Jones

and it's my contractual obligation to welcome Romesh Ranganathan.

Welcome to You're Fired.

Now, in tonight's Health Snack task,

just when one candidate thought it couldn't COURGETTE any worse,

he got a RAW deal and ended up in the SMORGASBORD room.

Obviously, in terms of the punification

of that particular joke, I've let myself down generally, as it stands.

Brett, I think that there is no question

that you like to throw your back into things, OK?

But I have to talk about setting up a business

and my concern is that what I've observed in the past ten weeks

is really not up my alley.

I'm going to have to let you go from the process and say you're fired.

Fantastic, Lord Sugar. Karen, Claude, thank you for everything.

-It's been amazing. Take care, guys. Bye-bye.

-Bye.

Yes, Elvis Parsley has left the building.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brett Butler-Smythe.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, you've become iconified, I think, it's fair to say.

Or maybe they're just sad that you didn't self-preservate for longer.

True. True.

So, Lord Sugar said that you leave the process an honourable man,

a really nice thing to say. Did that make up for being fired?

To walk out and get that sort of decoration from Lord Sugar...

-Well...

-He didn't want to let you go in the end.

I stopped halfway. I was like... Do I go back? Do I go?

It was like the ending of a bad American film.

-Brett, just one more thing...

-And Gary.

When I walked out of the boardroom,

he sort of looked like a little puppy. He was like...

-Don't go!

-He was heartbroken, he was.

-Yeah.

-When you get bad news, do you often say the word "fantastic"?

Cos that was the weirdest thing for me. "You're fired!" "Fantastic!"

Does that happen a lot with you?

"Your car's been stolen." "Fantastic."

No, look, you've got to be respectful to Lord Sugar

and everybody that sits on that side of the desk with him.

We've all been given a massive opportunity,

a platform to which we can all come off and hopefully do the best

-we possibly can from that.

-OK.

Romesh, Lord Sugar said that Brett wasn't really up his alley.

-Would you agree with that? Do you think that's the right thing?

-Um...

Well, first of all, Brett,

you've worn a T-shirt that has shown off a physique that has

made me quite scared to take the piss out of you now.

So let me just say first of all, I think you're incredible.

In terms of Lord Sugar saying that you are not up his alley,

I think that comes from the fact that Lord Sugar,

throughout all of the series, has always gone on about how

he wants people to be no nonsense and talk straight down the line

and I think because you had a tendency to sort of be quite

-floral with your language...

-I beg to differ.

In a way that I really like, by the way. I really like.

Because you had a tendency to do that,

I think he sort of got a bit frustrated with that.

It was an unusual boardroom with four of you in there tonight.

Let's have a look at how you ended up there.

Although Brett is project manager,

he's actually third in line to the throne.

You have King Richard, sitting majestically at the top.

Raw means uncut.

-I took raw off it.

-It was like he was Wonderman.

And I will stand by my word.

You weren't Wonderman though. I've explained it to you. My God, man!

Are you as thick as him?!

You've then got Princess Vana, who is managing the kitchen.

-You need 50g of oil.

-I think I need to put a little bit more.

Look at it! This thing is impregnated with oil in here.

And then you've got Brett.

We're passionate about our product and our product is passionate

to be in a position where it, like, needs to be.

The pitch to the sports company was terrible.

Aw, Brett!

-Brett... Listen, you'll always be King Brett in my book.

-Thank you.

Especially when you spilled king beetroot down your king trousers.

I know.

Claude said that Richard and Vana

slightly dominated you during that task.

Do you agree with that? Do you think that was the case?

I don't think that they dominated me.

I delegated and gave people their specific roles

and they've done that to the best of their abilities.

Ruth, do you think Brett got the balance right

between being a good team player and a strong leader?

It's interesting because in previous tasks,

you did seem to be a little bit more kind of dominating and maybe...

Were you feeling a sense now that as the competition's drawing to

a close, you were looking for that team feeling

or were you feeling a bit on more uncertain ground?

You're so conscious that there were six of us remaining

and with that, you knew that it was going to get down to the final five,

so everyone was playing for that position where

they didn't want to be that one that was gone.

I very much sort of went with, like, a democracy in as much as

I wanted to do the healthy snack bar. That was what I like to do.

I go to the gym and I'm quite conscious in what I eat.

I just wanted to be sort of at one with the team,

so we could win and take us all through to the final five.

It did seem to me as though Vana had quite an influence on you.

Have a look at this.

Tell him that we're doing the courgette

with to-may-to and oregano.

We're going to be doing courgette with oregano and the to-may-to.

-To-may-to!

-To-may-to!

To-may-to! Tomato! Let's call the whole song off.

LAUGHTER

Some people like that thing.

Do you still think you should have stuck up for Richard the way

you did in the boardroom?

-Cos that really annoyed Lord Sugar.

-Yeah. I'd still do it today.

I know that they said that the dehydration technique wasn't

actually on the branding.

But it wasn't just the branding that was at fault.

Look how much oil was in there.

I think that's a testament to what a great guy you are.

Having said that,

I don't think Richard would have afforded you the same courtesy.

-No way.

-He was happy to throw you under the bus.

-Yeah.

Even before it got to the situation where you found out who lost,

he was going, "It's very difficult to pitch

"when the clients have got greasy fingers."

-Already, he was ready to put the smackdown on you.

-Yeah.

Anthony, do you think Brett would fit into your workforce?

I think absolutely. We've got this role in the factory,

you'll probably know what it is, it's the head of specification.

LAUGHTER

Well, neither product quite lived up

to the criteria of being a healthy snack.

Let's have a look at the delights that the candidates rustled up.

You went to retailers with this?!

# Food, glorious food... #

Everything has to be separated on these trays

in order for it to dehydrate properly.

Let me give you a napkin cos that's the one thing,

they're a little bit oily.

I struggled to open the second bag

because of the amount of oil on my fingers from the first bag.

Is that why it's not crisp?

This is why they say chefs is the most stressful job.

That is so, so, so dry.

-Do you like it?

-No.

It's almost like it's gone off.

Ahem.

SHE COUGHS

Not this one for you?

-I'm not sure whether it's just me or whether...

-What are you thinking?

Well, look, if you're happy with it, that's the main thing.

LAUGHTER Yeah, I'm loving Karren's response.

I'm trying to remember if I've ever cooked anything

and been pleased with that response. COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

I've got some samples here.

We have the cabbage and beetroot.

And the courgette one.

And the onion.

Now, I have to say before we go any further,

please, on no account, eat these.

We have not got clearance for them from an insurance perspective.

Romesh, do you want to bring them over?

-Yeah, sure.

-Take them a bit closer to your team members.

That will be... LAUGHTER

That's right. Better safe than sorry.

What have we got?

You've got onion there and you've got cabbage and beetroot.

These ones are the courgette ones.

They sort of look like the leavings you'd find after doing a fry-up.

Anthony, what do you think?

It's not such a bad idea, the idea of dehydrating vegetables,

if they hadn't then gone and tipped the contents of an oil tanker

into the bag with it, it wouldn't have been a bad snack, would it?

I think this is the miracle crisp.

It's a vegetable and hardly anything's been done to it,

apart from the water being removed.

I think you were on to an absolutely fantastic concept.

Have you smelled it?

-The concept?

-LAUGHTER

Cos we all remember from the fishcakes task,

and what amazing things you did in the kitchen,

why didn't you get Vana to stick to the specification?

LAUGHTER

Look, people will mock me for sticking to the specification,

-but the specification is something that everyone should stick to.

-LAUGHTER

Why, Brett, did you not put the kibosh on Vana adding all that oil?

Is it literally because you'd been criticised

for sticking to the specification -

you decided to abandon the specification when it came to a time

-when you really should have stuck to the specification?

-LAUGHTER

Do you want to say it just one more time?

I would like to. Specification.

No, the thing is there was no set specification for these.

LAUGHTER

It was literally, you just went in to a kitchen...

We're not making you say it, are we?

I know, it's just this shit that comes out of my mouth all the time.

You said it!

-No, there was no list, there was no, like, um...

-Say it!

LAUGHTER

Have you got a thesaurus? Anybody?

In fairness, it is the right word, so you carry on using it.

There was no set menu, there was no set ingredients...

LAUGHTER

What are you on about? What do you mean?

-I'm trying to...

-This is when you should be saying it, man!

But you said 50g of oil...

That was the recommended, from a preset... That the...

LAUGHTER

This is getting unbelievable now. Um...

She was literally like - glug, glug, glug...

I was like - whoa, whoa, whoa!

And then from that then on, it was just too late,

the time was against us

and that was literally our only product we could do.

We had no pilot, no test, no nothing.

It was literally all or nothing.

-And nothing was what it was.

-In the end, it was, yes.

Ruth, are you in to all these trendy products?

Are you in to kale crisps and lentil chips and all that kind of thing?

I tell you what I like is you know those really massive

-bars of chocolate?

-LAUGHTER

I don't think you can go wrong with that.

So, we've heard as well, Romesh, that these products are vegan-proof and...

LAUGHTER ..and vegan-free.

Two contrasting qualities there. One, vegan-proof,

I assume that means that no vegan can get in to the packet.

Vegan-free means that no vegans have been added as an ingredient,

which I think...

I'd just assumed that was the case with most products.

What about the health bars?

Of course, the main ingredient for one of these bars was...

Be-be-bah-boo-booby?

What was it again?

This one here is bow-bub.

Boo-bah-bah?

Buh-bow-buh.

We need to be careful how we pronounce these tomorrow,

I tell you.

Be-buh-buh?

-Baobab.

-Yes, that's it.

-Baobab.

-Baobab.

It would be helpful if you knew how to pronounce them.

OK, have you got it?

-I bet you're glad you stuck to the courgettes after that.

-Yeah.

So, you've all got some of the bars there with you. I've got one here.

Again, I cannot stress highly enough, do not eat.

So I can just open that and see what it's like.

LAUGHTER

It's like I'm doing a documentary about Africa.

The ground is parched.

Anthony, what are your first thoughts? What do you think?

Um...

-I'm not sure I'd call it a bar.

-It's more like cat litter, isn't it?

Can you imagine, in the pitch,

if they'd had to felt tip out antioxidants and then go,

"We're not actually allowed to describe it as a bar either."

Have to felt tip that out as well.

What did you think of Charleine's recipe development process?

She didn't seem very scientific to me.

I think she needed to follow the specifications.

-That she does.

-Were you watching that, thinking...?

There is a process that you have to follow, I would have thought.

Absolutely, and I think she should have looked around her,

the hints from Karren, the hints from the product developer

there and maybe been led a little more by them.

It's like she was playing.

It's like she was an eight-year-old that was just playing at cooking.

Stick some of that in. Have a bit of that, that'll be lovely.

I'm going to stick a bit of that in.

There was no thought to it. She needed specifications.

But she sort of went crazy. Like, when I watched it, I thought,

has she been in there on her own for like a month?

Cos she was just like, "Coconut! Grams of vanilla!"

She was flipping out, man! It was like Lord of the Flies or something.

It was crazy.

So, baobab, acai, maca... What's your favourite flavour?

I can never decide.

Are those popular ingredients nowadays?

Um... More and more.

But I think what you need to do is explain to the consumer

why they should be eating it.

Right. OK.

Source of energy, but that's it. That's all it's got on here now.

But you could say that about lard.

LAUGHTER

Well, I'm delighted to say that the lady who set

Charleine on the path to superfood deliciousness is here tonight.

Please welcome Tanya Maher.

APPLAUSE

Tanya, how are you?

Very big welcome to the show. Have I got the pronunciation right?

Baobab, yes?

-You have.

-I have. Thank you very much.

How do you define a superfood?

If you were to categorise all the different foods into nutrients,

the one with the highest amount of, say, magnesium is a superfood.

The one with the highest amount of antioxidant is the superfood.

And so on.

So, all the superfoods can be the highest in antioxidants.

I was expecting it to be fruit and vegetables,

but you've just got jars of powder.

Yeah, because they come from different countries.

Most of them come from South America,

and so they are dried and dehydrated and ground up over there

and then get brought into this country.

Excellent. And the maca, it's good for sexual function, is it?

-You really want to know, don't you?

-Well, no. I'm asking for a friend.

LAUGHTER

Let's say his name is Romesh.

LAUGHTER

He asked me to ask you.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, Tanya Maher.

APPLAUSE

So we saw Charleine getting upset in the boardroom

because she hadn't come up with a good product.

How did you think she performed generally

as a project manager this week?

Listen, I love her. I won't hear a word said against her.

And why would that be, Ruth?

RUTH CHUCKLES

What I like about her is her optimism is ridiculous.

When she did all that stuff about...

The feedback on the product - they didn't like this, they didn't

like that - there wasn't anything left and yet she kept smiling.

And she's a trier.

I know she's nice and I have liked her in the process, but once she's

realised that the product wasn't great, she wasn't the one

-that drove it forward and kept the morale up in the team.

-That's true.

She'd created a bad product, she'd given them a problem,

and then she didn't do anything about tackling that problem.

You've got to love someone who goes

and talks to the people at Holland and Barrett and tells them

that health food is going to be a big thing in the future.

It's just as well we've opened shops across the country then(!)

She said, "Hiya, ladies. Have you heard of superfoods at all?"

It was, "Have you heard of THE superfoods?"

Karren stood up for Charleine in the boardroom,

saying that she never gives in.

Would you like to see her win the process?

Yeah. A fellow Plymouthian/Welsh bird...

-A bird?!

-LAUGHTER

She's an ex-Wren.

She won't mind me calling her a bird or anything like that.

She is a happy-go-lucky sort of woman.

She's done amazing throughout the whole process.

She has been a really dominant seller,

she's been on point every single task and she's never lowed,

she's never gone below average,

she's always kept it very optimistic and very up front.

So, yeah, good luck to her.

What about the marketing side of things?

Both teams made some errors and omissions with their packaging.

Let's look at Connexus first. Cos this is what they came up with.

Anthony, what were your first thoughts on this?

I think they went for a brand name which started in the right

direction with the term "vegetable crisp",

which I thought was useful for communicating to the customer

what it was all about, but I did think

they just missed the point of what was so special about this product.

And, obviously, you had like two days to this and I couldn't do it,

so hats off to you and all that, but people want to be able to eat

something naughty but know that it's good for them.

So crisps equals naughty,

but you don't really know that it's good for you cos they're missing

out all those great adjectives, like the fact that it's raw.

Let's look at what Team Versatile got up to with their packaging

and marketing for the Rejuvenate bar. There it is.

Gary and Joseph didn't have that much to go on, did they,

cos Charleine was just yelling down the phone at them

so they had to come up with this.

Do you think they did a fairly good job?

Where I think they did succeed was in not having a transparent

wrapper because at least they were hiding the fact that it was

just a load of mush.

This bar is baobab protein here.

Then it says ingredients - peanut butter,

-freeze-dried pomegranate and that's it.

-LAUGHTER

So, what the hell are you talking about? Where's the baobab?

That's all Charleine said down the phone.

So they tried to defeminise it by putting a great big E

across the woman's face. Did that work for anyone?

If you had one guess, would it be a man or a woman? What do we reckon?

I think there are two good reasons

why we think that's a woman on there.

LAUGHTER

So, what about Gary? He was very confident with the pitching.

You must have done lots of pitching in your time. How did you rate him?

I think what Gary did very well, he was very professional,

but he also built rapport, and I think we saw something

slightly different from him this week.

Somebody who was happy to chat and connect and sell

and it was a soft sell and I think it worked.

I think he was excellent on this task

because he was the one that drove them forward,

with regards to getting the energy up for each of those pitches.

He actually looked like the project manager during those conversations.

And you've got to remember how difficult this task was for him.

He's going back to the place he worked for seven years

and they say to him, "You were here for seven years.

"What have you been up to since?" "I've got this bar."

LAUGHTER

How embarrassing!

If he was able to just go,

"Look, this is a work in progress. We know it's not quite right yet

"and there are things that we would do,

"but this is what we're excited about," and I just think

he was almost there, he was almost going in that direction.

Ultimately, can a good presentation save a bad product?

Even if the product isn't quite perfect,

if you can sell them the dream, they may still take it

-if they trust that you're going to deliver it.

-OK.

So, Brett, you might have been criticised during that episode for

your pitching, but I think that's cos the customers weren't really

speaking your language.

Now, we managed to get hold of a Brett-to-English dictionary

and it's been quite helpful. Have a look at this.

I haven't got experience,

in as much as I'm a fully-qualified certified catering assistant.

I'm not necessarily completely 100% French-orientated.

Lord Sugar, I can honestly tell you that I genuinely,

categorically, did not stipulate with any other specification

than that recipe and the way it was meant to be put together.

It's based on potentially simple formulas which already exist.

The light reacts to the sensory aspects of all cats.

Once you get used to it, it actually gets simpler.

But there was one piece that we found and we just could not translate it.

We sent it off to several specialists but we had no luck.

Maybe you can help us out with it.

I wouldn't necessarily like to stereotype the fact that

everyone's within the right place that they should be.

I like to think that sometimes you can take a generic

form of audience and try and cater for that.

But if we add an element of maybe the females being within the team,

they could give an outsider's view looking in,

which could have proved to have been quite beneficial for us, really.

LAUGHTER

See, Brett, I have watched that eight times.

LAUGHTER I still do not know...

-What were you talking about?

-That is just utter waffle.

It's funny cos occasionally you say exactly what you mean.

I shit you not, Karren was there,

and she absolutely got her ass in her hands...

Don't look at the camera, you helmet.

Aw, mate! Look at all that shit!

That's fucking beetroot. I swear that's going to stain.

To be honest with you, Lord Sugar,

I will tear people a new asshole as much as the next person.

-To be fair...

-I don't mince my words, do I?

..if they eat your snacks,

they're going to need a new arsehole, aren't they?

LAUGHTER

Brett, why do you make things so complicated for yourself

-and us, for that matter?

-I like to keep you interested, see?

-Yeah.

-No, again, shit does come out and you just can't help it.

It's just, literally... You've just got no control.

So, Brett, sadly, we've seen that Lord Sugar has indicated

a preference for a non-investment-based scenario,

vis-a-vis yourself.

But... LAUGHTER

..let's just have a look to see

if he's got any advice for you for the future.

I like Brett.

He came from a Navy background and you could see that

discipline coming through all of the time.

If I wanted a hole dug or a wall built or a bridge built,

Brett's your man.

On this particular task, it technically went wrong

and, unfortunately, he was responsible for that process.

Brett showed certain characteristics of being a bit blunt

and what he needs to do is to learn when to apply that posture,

but I think he's a real stand-up fellow,

an honourable, honourable man.

-Very nice, that, isn't it?

-Brilliant.

-Isn't that nice?

So which bits of that advice will you take with you?

All of it.

It was nice to be classed as very honourable,

as I've always tried to be that sort of person

and very honest and upfront.

I probably can learn to deal with things in the correct manner

sometimes, but I'm from the construction industry.

You can't piss around in that sort of environment.

You've got to say it how it is and if you show any signs of weakness

within that industry, people go, "Pff, yeah, whatever."

So what's next for you?

Next for me, I'm going to go back, develop my original business plan

that I was going to take to Lord Sugar

and hopefully set up a national specialist refit company,

which is going to do veterinary practices, medical centres

-and dental practices.

-OK, great.

Well, it's time to find out

whether we agree that Brett was the right person to be fired tonight.

Anthony, do you think Lord Sugar fired the right person?

I think Brett's fantastic. I love his values.

I wanted to see more of Brett and I think he could have gone further.

All right. Ruth?

I totally agree. I think everybody was culpable this week,

and if anyone was going, I think it should have been Richard

just to see the smarmy look on his face disappear.

Aw. Romesh?

No, I don't think you should have been fired.

I thought you were the better team, and actually Lord Sugar

should have got rid of someone from the snack bar monstrosity.

-Thank you.

-Three out of three supporting you there.

-It's good.

So, to the audience vote, if you agree with Lord Sugar,

hold up Fired. If you don't, hold up Hired. Let's have a look.

I'll take that. Yeah, pretty good.

That is a Hired, that is. That's a Hired.

Well done.

But not to make snacks.

-Anything but.

-Yeah.

-Build a bridge.

-Well, congratulations. That's excellent.

We're really sorry to lose you from The Apprentice

cos you've been a great character and everyone's very fond of you.

-Thank you.

-As you know, nobody leaves You're Fired empty-handed.

Now, you've always been on hand with an inspiring motto

or a thought-provoking saying, so we thought we would return

the favour with this, which is your Daily Brettisms calendar.

So every day you turn it over and here's one that says,

"Generally as it stands..." That's one of yours, isn't it?

And the next one is, "Don't be afraid to call yourself a tool."

LAUGHTER

"Always iconify your vegetables."

And then we go obviously to "Follow the specification."

-Personal favourite.

-Personal favourite. The next one is,

"Follow the specification." LAUGHTER

"Follow the specification."

Oh, they're all "Follow the specification," after that.

-"Follow the specification." That's for you.

-Brilliant. Thank you.

You're very welcome. You've been a great candidate, great guest.

-Brilliant.

-Let's have a look at your highlights.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

and I'm going to absolutely smash it.

-Oh, mate!

-Ugh!

Look at all that shit!

That's decent, mate.

"Man-chest-ah."

He is a very loving, caring, fun person.

Use all your tools and you'll get some sales.

And this is the biggest one we've got.

We're going to have a really good time.

It's about dodge ball, having fun, getting crazy,

letting your hair down. I would like to say the same,

but I let my hair down once upon a time and it went.

We need to be upbeat on what the rabbit sector is going to offer.

What was that?

It's not warm but it's bite-proof.

Generally, as it stands, guys, we can pretty much do that.

-Guys...

-Well done.

-Well done.

Ladies and gentlemen, Brett Butler-Smythe!

CHEERING

That's all for tonight. Thank you to Anthony, Ruth and Romesh.

So it's on to task number 11 for our candidates.

Yes, that's right, it's the interviews.

You are going to present your business plans

to four of my advisers.

It's going to be a long day.

Absolutely spot-on.

-You can do this, Joe.

-How would it work?

-I think it's kind of a cute play on words, don't you think?

-Hm.

You've been rumbled.

It's mumbo jumbo.

In my mind, I can see it as clear as day.

Are you serious?

This is a business plan that is sinking on its numbers.

You haven't got a brand. I thought it was mountain climbing.

Maybe ask her out for some dinner.

Totally not my type at all.

You're barking up the wrong tree.

You're burning £32,000 every month.

Who do you think you are?

I think it's bullshit.

Thought-provoking, if nothing less.

Well, if you think you've got

what it takes to be Lord Sugar's business partner,

go to bbc.co.uk/apprentice to find out how to apply

for the next series.

We'll be back next Wednesday at 10:00 for more You're Fired when,

alongside Romesh, I'll be joined by former Apprentice winner

Ricky Martin and comedian Susan Calman.

Goodnight.

APPLAUSE