Episode 5 The Apprentice: You're Fired

LORD SUGAR: You haven't used any of your skills, any of the things

that you claim you're experts in. A disgusting result.

I don't want to hear any more from you. You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired.

APPLAUSE

CHEERING

Thank you. Good evening. I'm Jack Dee.

Welcome to The Apprentice You're Fired.

This week's task was to produce a children's book,

so the candidates were extra careful to make sure their language

was suitable for three to five-year-olds.

Party pooper, wee-wee.

Sniffle bottom.

I shit you not, she absolutely put her arse on her hands...

LAUGHTER

Yeah, thanks, Brett. Good luck with that CBeebie's audition, by the way.

Joseph had a tough time. It can't have been easy spending the day being

shadowed by his mysterious Victorian lookalike.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Yes, that is Lord Sugar's new aid, the Gocompare man.

Meanwhile, April burned Charleine so hard, she became a meme.

Personally, I feel, like, the bee story could be the most adventurous.

What writing skills have you got?

My degree is in creative writing.

GENERIC HIP-HOP MUSIC

And if you don't get that, it's because you're not street, like me.

Joining me to discuss tonight's task, even though it's past their bedtimes,

are author of the How To Train Your Dragon

series of children's books, Cressida Cowell,

broadcaster Gaby Roslin, and he's still only halfway through

Snottydinks, so no spoilers, please, it is Romesh Ranganathan.

Welcome to You're Fired.

Well, in tonight's task,

one candidate was hoping her team's children's book would be

a monster hit, but instead, for her, it was all ogre.

Ha... Sorry.

Sorry, that was a terrible pun. I just said it without thinking.

LORD SUGAR: Natalie, your pitch was terrible.

I'm not sure you think before you speak.

You just haven't shown me enough. On this particular occasion...

..you're fired.

Ladies and gentlemen, please well, Natalie Dean!

APPLAUSE

Come and sit down. Come and sit down.

Natalie, welcome to You're Fired. It's good to see you.

I don't know who was more upset, you or Sam.

I know, he didn't look happy, did he? It was.

How did you feel at the time?

Not as upset as Sam looked, it would appear.

He was. He was really... Because it must be very emotional.

You've all worked and lived together for four or five weeks.

Suddenly, up against each other in the boardroom. And how did that feel?

Well, it was really difficult

because I really like Sam, and got on with him so well,

and to be in that situation with him, it wasn't very nice.

It wasn't nice, was it? Plus, to make things worse,

you'd had a terrible cold that week, which wasn't good. Yeah.

Did that generally affect your... your whole performance, do you feel?

I'd didn't feel great, but I don't know if it would have gone

that much differently if I didn't have a cold, really.

I really think you could have... Because you played it very well.

You set it up, and you said, "I've got a bit of a cough," etc.

And then you said it in the boardroom.

I definitely think you should have done it in the bookshop.

You know, when she said,

"What are your percentages?", you should have just collapsed.

Just had a coughing fit and fallen to the floor.

Maybe I should, yeah.

Well, Lord Sugar said you didn't show him enough

of what you could really do.

Let's have a look at what you did show him.

The key to this is selling, isn't it?

I wanted Natalie and myself to do the pitch

to the national book retailer.

SHE COUGHS

I'm just concerned that if I stand up there to do a pitch

and go croaky or cough, I'm going to look ridiculous.

So, Brett, Scott, and Natalie, you're going to trade. Perfect.

I think I'd feel more comfortable doing that.

Natalie was supposed to lead the pitch, but did a terrible job.

What do you want to know? My discount percentage.

Brett had said he was in charge of the finances

and had been looking after them.

And, so, I was a bit shocked he didn't have that answer.

I supplied you with that information and you went in there with it. Completely disagree.

If you buy under nine or up to nine, it's for ?4.89 per unit.

You're a liar. Yes, I did.

You're an outright liar.

It was a disaster.

So, the bus?

LAUGHTER

Didn't really show a lot, did I?

I've got to ask you, did you get on the same bus, you and Brett?

Or was there a bit of an atmosphere? That task, me and Brett,

we didn't get on well, but I really like Brett. We got on in the house

really well. In the boardroom, Brett called you a liar.

What did you make of that?

I think he got a bit confused. Ah, that's a good answer.

He got confused. I mean, it did get quite heated.

I know that when, in the taxi afterwards, you...you didn't hold

back, cos you said you didn't think he'd stay in the process very long.

You even said you didn't think he was very intelligent.

Do you stand by that now? No, I think he'll do quite well.

I think he's very confident and always says what he thinks,

which I think will probably do him quite well. I like Brett.

I'm glad about that. So, the pitch in the bookshop.

That, the one we saw, was a disaster, wasn't it? It was a disaster.

Why were you so stumped by the figures?

The woman asked us, "What's the price?" I was, like, "Brett,

"you've got the figures." But he didn't have the figures.

Then, I was doing the pitch, I should have had the figures,

I was doing the pitch. OK, that's an honest answer.

It went wrong for you. Cressida, I'll come to you first, cos, you know,

Natalie was finding the bookshop owner very hard.

Now, even at your level of success, you must still have to build

relationships with publishers and film executives, even retailers.

How important is it to have a rapport with these people and maintain it?

Oh, it's immensely important. Hugely important.

I mean, as a children's book author, you're also pitching quite a lot

to children themselves and their parents.

Lord Sugar would love this.

You have a very direct contact with your market.

The children's book industry is phenomenally successful,

considering the competition. Look at the telly nowadays, Xbox.

However, in the last 16 years,

we have doubled the amount of children's books we've sold,

which is extraordinary. And it's partly because authors go out there.

You can't hide away as an author any more.

I've been to so many primary schools,

I could practically be an OFSTED inspector.

I'll come to you now, Gaby.

You know, you're a very successful TV presenter, radio presenter.

You always very quickly establish a relationship with the people

you're interviewing. Is there a nack to that

we could pass on to Natalie? Yes, I did feel

that you weren't getting people's interest straightaway

and you weren't listening to them.

And you weren't giving them something.

I thought you opened yourself up for an attack

when you asked that lady what she liked in a book.

I don't know if you would have been better off saying

what was good about it, rather than opening yourself up,

cos then she said "I like a book that really sells."

And then you went, "We haven't got that, but we've...we've got

"a new book that we think could possibly sell, fingers crossed."

You know what I mean? So, Natalie, Brett said that you were nervous

in the bookshop pitch,

because you had Karren watching you all the time.

How much more nerve-racking is it having Karren or Claude

breathing down your neck?

Generally, when you're trying to pitch a product,

you don't have Karren Brady standing in the corner

making notes and tutting. It is quite a lot of pressure.

Yes, it is, cos you got off to a bad start with her,

didn't you, in week two, with the shampoo?

And you had claimed that people over the age of 46 are scared of change.

LAUGHTER

And she was... she was offended by that.

Did you feel you were carrying a little bit of that on into this task?

So, first of all, I'm very sorry to any women over 40 that I did offend.

It wasn't the intention.

Were you watching that, Gaby, when that happened? Yes!

NATALIE: I'm sorry.

I was and I shouted at the screen. You found it terrifying.

What, the whole thing?

LAUGHTER

Natalie, Lord Sugar said that you don't think before you speak.

Do you think he's right?

Take your time.

LAUGHTER

Thinking before you speak isn't easy, especially

if you don't give yourself time to get a word in edgewise.

Have a look at this.

Natalie talks so quickly, I have never heard anyone speak so fast.

I look after very high-value customers, make sure

they retain with the company and also try and encourage them

to spend more money with us, as well.

I write pitches and present to businesses on a day-to-day business.

I think I'd be really good in a pitch.

Natalie...thinks and talks at a million miles an hour.

I find speaking slow the hardest bit.

Some might have the option of buying it in either country.

We don't want get there and we can't sell it cos it's not safe.

That'd be a nightmare. Everything is bom-bom-bom. We'd failed the task

before the pitch. People will spend money on rabbits. I had a rabbit for years.

I don't think you're passionate about the product

and we could sell it. I can't speak slowly. I'm, like ...

LAUGHTER See, most of those weren't that fast to me. What did you say?

LAUGHTER

Have you ever thought about taking up horse race commentary

or something like that? I probably should, shouldn't I?

OK, let's move on. We'll have a look at the book. Here we are.

That's Snottydink, which is quite appropriate,

considering how ill you were feeling at the time.

So, Cressida, you've got one, as well. Have a little look.

What do you think? What are your first impressions?

Are you impressed by that?

I have to say, in one day, I thought that was REALLY impressive.

I thought it was original. It was really original.

I'm glad you said that. I liked it, as well.

Yes, you bond with the character. Completely.

And the graphics are great, the words are great, the rhymes,

the rhythm, everything. And I would happily read this to my youngest.

I'm not sure about it. My issue with it... I do think it's good.

I think the pictures are good, it looks good,

the covers are good and everything. My biggest issue is the long words.

I know you sold it as a thing that kids should learn new words,

but a kid with an extensive vocabulary is creepy.

You know... If I was in the park with my kid, he said,

"Daddy, look at that moisture-loving plant,"

I'd say, "Shut up, you weirdo.

"You sound like a freak." "Daddy, quell your anger."

"You're not helping!"

I got a little bit worried.

I thought maybe you were all drinking a bit too much.

It seems to me that some of the rhymes only work if you're drunk.

This bit.

'The water he blew was not only useful

'He could make things, too, that were bright and byoo-full.'

LAUGHTER

That only works if you had a bottle of wine. I think it does, yeah.

There's nothing wrong, though, with having new words in a book,

are there? Are you conscious of doing that when you're writing?

I do use longer words in my books for 8-12-year-olds,

but I have to say, for three to five,

I would be a bit more careful about using shorter words.

So, what, during the creative stage,

you're coming up with this book, what was it like to be

in the presence of Sam, when he was in his creative frenzy?

How involved were you? Or did you just have to sit back in awe?

I think the problem with Sam was, in this task, he had too many ideas

and he couldn't decide what he actually wanted to do.

So, in the end, it was me who came up with the idea of the story,

what would happen. Then, Elle and Sam wrote it,

because their English is fantastic, both of them.

And Scott drew the pictures, cos he's good at drawing.

So, it was very much a team effort.

Did Scott actually draw the pictures that are in there now?

Well, he... That was his vision?

A graphic designer will make them look more sparkly.

It's impressive, that.

Well, as we've seen, project manager of Connexus was Sam,

who Lord Sugar criticised for not having a very business-like approach.

Let's have a look at him in action. Or not, in his case.

A story dies without good plot.

I mean, obviously, there is

this theory about Aristotle thinking plot is the most important thing.

I don't know how much you can relate, sort of,

a tragedy with children's literature.

At times, I felt I was

watching you try to write the sequel to King Lear.

What I wanted to do was come up with a moral story that included

creatures, or an overcoming the monsters story that included

a bit of a moral, or an adventure story.

The adventure story one, I'm slightly confused on.

They've been in their meeting

for a few hours, but haven't really nailed anything down.

We're going around the houses now. As PM, what do you reckon?

Um...

Now, I... My preference is... What do you think?

Who are you bringing back into this boardroom?

There you are again.

He just takes so long to reach a decision.

See, Natalie, somewhere between you and Sam

is the perfect speed at which to talk.

That's what you want to aim at. What was Sam like as a project manager?

Indecisive. But I think that's because he's so nice,

he wanted to please everybody. Right. Did you feel like he was

under pressure because Lord Sugar had said to him,

"You're an English graduate, you should be good at this,"

that he felt he had to create some masterpiece, rather than just getting the book done?

I think he was trying to make it a lot more complex than it

needed to be, because he was so worried about making

a great product for Lord Sugar. Accused of over-intellectualising.

Cressida, is that a fault? Well, no, he didn't call it King Lear, did he?

He called it Snottydink.

King Lear, in fairness, had been taken, that name.

LAUGHTER

He was thinking about it very seriously, but it had a message.

It was about something.

And it was about something much more interesting than the bees story.

I mean, good children's books do have a message.

And sometimes, it's quite a serious message.

In the cafe, Sam immediately apologised

to his team for losing, in a very gallant way, I thought.

That was very nice of him.

And he apologised to you in the boardroom afterwards...

He was actually crying. He was devastated.

I was, like, "You can go now. It's all right, Sam." He wouldn't let go of my hand.

He genuinely felt bad. He's too nice. He's just a lovely guy.

GABY: Can you be too nice? I was going to ask.

Can you combine being a nice guy with being good at business, do you think?

I think you can, surely you can. There are plenty of people who have done it over the years.

I'm trying to think now!

I think he made such a mistake by saying, "I'm sorry,"

when they were in the cafe. What you've got to do

is you've got to sit down and go,

"Where do you think you guys went wrong?"

You've got to be on the front foot, in that situation.

When I was teaching, I would do parents' evenings and stuff,

and sometimes, a kid would sit down and I didn't know the kid.

I couldn't remember what they were like.

I'd just say, what do you think I'm going to say about you?

And just let them fill in the blanks.

All the stories I hear about you being a teacher terrify me.

Well, if it makes you feel better,

legally, I'm not allowed to do it any more.

LAUGHTER

Well, let's move on to the winning team,

Team Versatile, and to remind us about their book, here is Claude.

Hello, boys and girls. LAUGHTER

Are you sitting comfortably? I'm going to begin.

This is Bizzie's First Adventure.

Bizzie is a little bee... BIZZIE BUZZES

..who sets out to make some honey.

When he took flight, the wind went whoosh...

..and poor little Bizzie went swoosh.

BIZZIE SQUEAKS IN DISTRESS

Swishing and swooshing, tumbling and turning,

will little Bizzie ever make his honey?

And if your nerves can take it, you can see the full, terrifying

version of both books being read by Karren and Claude on our website.

So, here is their book, which is Bizzie's First Adventure.

I don't know if you have had a chance to look at that - did you see it?

Very briefly. You're already turning up your nose at it.

I just think Snottledink's a lot better.

OK, well, Cressida, what are your first impressions of the book?

I think this is dull. That is the real problem with it.

Even though it doesn't go into pollination in great detail,

it might as well. I mean, it is dull, I'm sorry.

Gaby, do you agree? I've always read to my kids

and I absolutely love it and it is our special time.

This is for a six-month-old. It doesn't scan and it is dull.

You are like one of the mums in the playgroup, who said

she thought it had been written BY a child.

I think, they misunderstood the whole thing.

I think the key thing about a rhyming book is, it has to rhyme.

I'll give you an example here,

'Bizzie was happy all of a sudden

'when he saw the chance to get so much pollen.'

Are you joking? Yeah. Like, that's...

Also, to be honest with you, I'm opposed to the whole idea

of a book about honey anyway.

You know, it is bee slavery.

And, you know, what they need to explain is how the beekeeper

comes along and nicks it, without contributing anything to the

production process and making a profit

after the hard work of the bees.

Let's highlight that.

It's quite a high concept,

but not all households are as much fun as yours, Romesh, evidently.

Would any of you have used this book to teach their children

about the production of honey and what bees are about, in seriousness?

No. You wouldn't? No.

OK, so, mixed reviews for the book and, if it hadn't been for a

last-minute sale, it might have been Charleine in the boardroom this week.

I'd like to put myself forward as project manager for this.

I'm not going to say I have the best vocabulary or best English skills.

Once there was a busy bee who set out on his first adventure

to find some honey.

But that doesn't rhyme. To find a pot of honey. Does it not?

I think it does.

Who am I speaking to? It's Richard.

I want to hear David swishing and swooshing. Just leave us to it.

Please, Charleine, please, can you just let us get on with it, please.

No, can I hear David swishing and swooshing?

Are you going to be pitching?

Yes, I'm going to be pitching.

Are you sure? I'm doing the pitch. Yeah? Yeah.

OK, but the thing is... OK.

Swishing and swooshing, will little Bizzie ever make his honey?

You needed to take your strongest pitcher

to the most professional people that you were pitching to and you didn't.

Bad management decision there, I think.

That look is called schadenfreude -

or to put it in children's book terms - ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

On the whole, what was Charleine like as project manager?

If Richard was here, obviously, I'd ask David.

What did we think?

I think, if I had to be told what to do by her, it would frustrate me

a bit, as you could tell, people getting very frustrated

with her, because her way was the only way

and she wouldn't listen to everybody else.

Whereas Sam... And everybody said he was indecisive,

but at least he was listening to his team and being kind and warm

and giving, whereas it was about her, I think, a bit.

You think so? Cressida, what did you think? Well... She did, though.

She came up with, actually, a better idea than the bee idea. Yes.

She came up with the idea about the, erm... Comfort blanket. ..the comfort blanket

and I thought that was... Oh, come on, a story about a blanket.

Who wants to see that? It's better than the bee, trust me.

And she did give way, I think, wrongly, probably, there...

She gave way and she was keen on that bouncing and twirling bit.

Swooshing. Swooshing - which was the only lively bit,

so I think she did listen and I think she saved the day,

as well, by selling all those books to the restaurant.

She got lucky, didn't she? It was luck.

It just felt like, at the last minute, they got a really good bit

of good fortune and ended up winning with an inferior product.

It was good for Charleine, because I think if she hadn't made

that sale, they wouldn't have won and she would have been in trouble.

She'd probably be sat here, instead of me.

You could have been what absolutely saved the day for her. Definitely.

The sub-team seemed very frustrated by her interference

and trying to get David to do the swishing and swirling

thing on the phone.

But in fairness, she was the project manager,

isn't that what she is supposed to do?

But she asked for Richard to be her sub and, then,

she wouldn't listen to anything. It was just to keep him happy.

As well as sidelining Richard, by putting him into the sub-team,

Charleine kept him away from the pitch, which he's really good at.

Do think that she is letting her personal feelings interfere

with her business decisions? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Of course he should have done the pitch.

If he had done the pitch - and he would have won -

then she would have been delighted. If he had lost,

then she could have brought him into the boardroom

and gone for him completely.

OK. Well, Mergim came in for some praise this week from Lord Sugar.

He has already been trying to sell fish in a vegan restaurant.

Now, he has sold several copies of his book to mothers in a focus group.

He is emerging as one of these characters that would try

and sell anything if it wasn't bolted down, wouldn't he?

He a force to contend with, surely, in this process?

I like Mergim. He's got a, sort of, an enthusiasm

and an energy about him and he's always...

He throws himself into everything. I do think that he's...

Richard saying that's a deal. It's not a deal, is it?

It's somebody at a nursery offering you a tenner just to leave.

That is not a cool deal.

But I think actually... Generally speaking, I think he's good.

I think he's a good candidate.

Natalie, how was Mergim? did you get on well with him?

I hope you get to see more of him,

cos he is one of the funniest people I've ever met.

In the first task, we were all - "Who is this idiot?"

We were like, "Who is he? What is wrong with him?"

But then he, kind of, grew on everyone and everyone...

He is so funny. He's just hilarious.

He seemed a good... a good person to have around.

He is. He is great have around.

Throughout the series,

Romesh has been looking into what it might be like to be a candidate.

Romesh, what have you been up to this week?

Well, I saw the task that the candidates did this week

and I thought, because I've got children,

I'm an expert in this area.

So, I decided to come up with an innovative book of my own

and I took to some bookshops, to see how many I could sell.

Let's have a look at how you got on.

Hello. Hello.

I think I've got a once in a lifetime opportunity for you here.

Hello, there. I've put together a book.

OK.

It's called -

Santa Isn't Real.

What do you think of that, as a concept?

It's shocking and it looks appalling.

Santa Isn't Real. That's the truth, kids.

Have you seen the film, The Matrix?

And I'm unplugging them from the Santa Matrix.

Right in the middle of the pitch, it seems to be going pretty well.

She is a little bit annoyed that I've stepped outside to talk to you,

but it's just... I'm excited.

Let's just cut to the chase. How many books would you like?

None at all, thank you very much.

Let's say, 20 books to start you off.

It's a deal, it's a done deal.

It's a done deal. You're robbing me. No way.

So, you just want a small order? Erm, no, not really.

What about five, just to get you started?

Erm, no, I don't really think so.

What if I lent you one

and you see if there is any interest in it?

This could be the next

Harry Potter.

What about if you just put one just here?

Absolutely not. Goodbye.

Thank you, but, er, no thank you.

I think you're making a mistake, Simon.

You'll regret this, Geraldine.

I very much doubt it.

LAUGHTER

You could see they were tempted.

I've come up with a whole range, actually.

Just to give kids a real idea of what life is really like.

Here's the next one in the series.

You Will Never Be Truly Happy.

Wow. And then I decided to come up with one that sort of helps

the parents, as well as the kids.

You know you have films that work for parents as well as kids.

It's educational, as well as entertaining.

It's called Mummy, Why Am I So Annoying?

Natalie, what you think of Romesh's book?

Actually, don't tell me in words. I want you to tell me

using one of your famous facial expressions.

So, is it Number 1 -

A bit rubbish, but Romesh is in the room, so I can't really say.

Or Number 2 - I'm glad I don't have to work with him, like you do, Jack.

Or Number 3 - What you mean, the shredder is broken?

It is, kind of, a combination of all three, I'd say.

Yeah, fair comments on that one.

So, Natalie, sadly, Lord Sugar isn't going to be investing

in your business plan, but he has got some advice for you in the future.

Let's have a look at what he has to say.

I do like the way that Natalie sees things and actually sees them

as they are and tells them as they are.

But in some cases, she was a little bit to blunt.

Throughout the period of time that Natalie was in the process,

she claimed she was a great pitcher and presenter

and I think, in the task on selling the books, she was very, very bad.

And it was one of the reasons that led me to let Natalie go.

Looking forwards, I think she really does need to brush up on those

skills and she needs to develop a little bit more diplomacy.

So, Natalie, what do you think? Which parts of that would you

take on board. Which part of that advice would you go for?

Mainly, to be less blunt. Where would you have changed that?

Maybe when I was just responding to questions, I was very closed

with how I responded and I should have been more open, I think,

and look more like I was willing to take on board advice, rather than

be like, "OK, whatever".

It is time to find out whether we agree that Natalie was the right

person to be fired tonight.

Cressida, do you think Lord Sugar was right to fire Natalie at this point?

Well, just because I really didn't want him to fire Sam,

because I thought that it was a good book

and it was a travesty that you lost, your team lost.

So, yes, I would have fired you.

Gaby?

Meeting you in real life, you are a joy and charming

but I'm afraid I do think he was right, because of the pitching.

I do apologise. No, I agree.

And last, but... Well, last - Romesh.

LAUGHTER

I don't think you should have been fired. I'm very surprised.

I think you had a bad pitch, but I thought that Sam...

as much as I like him, I think his poor direction,

in terms of the business side of things, is what let the team down.

Interesting. Good comment.

And so to the audience. Folks, if you agree with Lord Sugar,

hold up Fired. If you disagree, hold up Hired.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

That is looking pretty much like a Fired, Natalie, though...

There is quite a big support group behind you, though. My grandma.

Your grandmother. She has been threatening people on your behalf, has she?

Natalie, we are really sorry to be losing you from The Apprentice,

cos you've been a great candidate

and a great character to follow and a wonderful guest on You're Fired.

As you know, nobody leaves You're Fired empty-handed

and, in the hopes that we could get just maybe one

more of your wonderful facial expressions... Oh, God.

..I prepared this for you.

Good Lord.

Well, I did it. Don't laugh.

I don't really know what to say.

Thanks? That's for you.

Natalie, you have given us some great moments.

Let's have a look at your highlights.

# I really, really, really, really, really like you. #

Lots of people have ideas, but ideas don't move mountains.

It's bulldozers that do that and I'd describe myself as a bulldozer.

Don't pull that face.

She is just so funny, she has got an opinion about everybody,

but does it in a humorous way. Yeah, I really like Natalie.

Quatre. S'il vous plait?

Natalie is the biggest talker I've ever met in my life.

She, literally, goes to bed talking

and, before she is even awake in the morning,

her mouth opens and the words start formulating. It's hilarious.

I made sushi, I never thought I'd do that.

Natalie is cuckoo.

You can tell she is happy. She is a lovely, lovely person.

APPLAUSE

That was nice. Ladies and gentlemen, Natalie Dean.

That's all for tonight, thank you to Cressida, Gaby and of course Romesh.

So, it on to task number six for our candidates.

Any business partner of mine

needs to know that making money involves hard work.

You go like this. Sshhhh.

# I want to build you up. #

I can just about put together some flatpack furniture. Great.

If we get this bid, do we have to do it?

I propose it's easier to just paint the walls, mate.

You've missed the deadline.

We're not arguing about it. Listen, guys, we're cracking on with it.

How much? ?500. How'd you come to that?

What a complete waste of time.

I think they're meant to be like this.

We're just going to gut it out.

There's a fork there which you might find useful. Wow.

It could be a disaster.

I need some help with the weeding. I need some help with the bush,

there's too much bush. Voila.

He's got the right to say, it was an incomplete job,

I'm not going to pay you.

We've painted over somebody's cat. LAUGHTER

I cannot wait and if you missed any episodes of The Apprentice,

Matt Edmondson has made a handy round-up of the series so far

on BBC iPlayer.

We will be back next Wednesday at 10pm, for more You're Fired

when, alongside Romesh, I'll be joined by international

entrepreneur, Lara Morgan and comedian Joe Lycett. Good night.

Battery life on smartphones is the best thing about them,

cos when the battery runs out, then I'll interact with my kids.

We're down the park, I'm like, "Well, that's run out.

"Better find out where they're going with those old men."