Episode 7 The Apprentice: You're Fired

You haven't used any of your skills,

any of the things that you claim that you're experts in.

A disgusting result. I don't want to hear anything from you.

You're fired.

You're fired. You're fired.

APPLAUSE

Good evening, I'm Jack Dee. Welcome to The Apprentice - You're Fired.

Well, this week, the candidates set up rival discount stores in

Manchester's Arndale Centre, although Gary seemed to misunderstand the task

and he tried to set up the world's most disappointing theme park.

Just take a handful out and add to the presentation.

Then we've got our little beauty world as well.

House world.

So, this is our toilet world.

So that's his business plan! Come to Toilet World!

Yeah, not sure about the water slide.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Meanwhile, Charleine dazzled us all with her powers of observation.

You all right, Charleine, yeah? Yeah.

The heavy candles are heavy.

And Vana nearly gave one elderly Mancunian a heart attack.

Discount Haven, you should check it out.

Right over there next to Ann Summers. Thank you!

LAUGHTER

So, if you're looking for a scouring pad and a dildo,

you know where to go.

Joining me after hours for this week's

stock-taking are high-quality product Lord Sugar's right hand woman,

Karren Brady, our very own branded goods,

The Apprentice Online's Matt Edmondson

and unexpected item in the bagging area, it's Romesh Ranganathan.

Welcome to You're Fired.

APPLAUSE

In tonight's task, one candidate was hoping to do TROLLEY well

but he couldn't quite CASH-AND-CARRY it off.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Sorry, I know that was a very poor-quality pun

but it was incredibly cheap - I got it from a discount store.

Sam, I have visions of you just going through the motions.

You may have reached the end of the road here.

Sam, you're fired.

Thank you. Thank you anyway. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sam Curry.

APPLAUSE

Sam...

Oh!

Welcome to the show. Thank you.

How are you feeling? You OK? Yeah, I'm fine.

That was one of the tensest boardrooms, really, for some time.

Yeah. A lot of the tension, I have to say, was in your face.

You know, you got really angry -

I'm not used to seeing you like that.

What was it like having to fight for your survival?

I think the whole task was tense, you know?

As you saw in the boardroom, I think with Scott

and Selina on a team and everyone else, it was just...

Everyone was just at each other the whole task and do you know what?

By the end of the boardroom, I was like, "Thank God!"

Karren, were you surprised to see Sam showing his teeth like that

at that late stage?

I think what a lot of people don't realise is

the pressure in these tasks mounts week after week after week,

and it's about this time that people start to realise that yes,

it's important to work as a team but you need to defend yourself,

and I think that's exactly what you were doing.

Good. I love you, Sam. Aww! I really do. Thanks.

I found your losing your temper in the boardroom...

Well, looking to lose your temper,

looking like you lost your temper, like, very entertaining.

Just the way you went, "That is outrageous! I can't believe it!

"I've never been so insulted!"

It was brilliant to watch.

Just with, like, rapiers and a full-on sword fight. Brilliant.

As we've seen, it was another very highly-charged boardroom for you.

Let's see how you ended up there.

It sounds to me less of a pop-up shop and more like a cock-up shop.

Total price of ?333.70.

Total amount is 368. Brilliant. Yeah?

It's not. Is it not? Hold on.

You messed up on calculations yet again. It was quite embarrassing.

Sam was sort of crawling round on the floor with his calculator.

It wasn't my finest moment. He didn't have a good day yesterday.

He messed all the figures up and he's lost his way again today.

Hi, sir, how are you?

Do you want to come and look at our new discount store?

Sir, yourself? No worries.

Ugh...

Self-tan wipes? They're really good.

Do I look like I need a tan? Well, no.

You may have reached the end of the road here.

BEEPING Oh, shut up.

Ugh...

BEEPING CONTINUES

Screw that.

Yes, an important rule of business - if at first you don't succeed,

screw that.

Look, Sam, you admitted yourself you're not very good at maths

but you're not even good at calculators, are you?

What happened at the cash-and-carry, then?

Cos that was where there was quite a big mistake there, wasn't there?

I think it was to do with this 2.5% or something

that we'd got off right at the end.

And I think also we worked out if we were to take 2.5% off

we'd buy six extra selfie sticks, or something like that. So I...

Ugh, do you know what?

Screw it, right?

I think that was my attitude. I was like, "Numbers, go away!" OK.

So, Matt, do you have any sympathy with Sam? How's your maths?

Massive sympathy. I think the problem is you're too nice.

So if someone says, "Someone has to do the maths,"

they give it to Sam cos you're not going to argue.

You're not there to self-preservate, as Brett would say.

Didn't have that in mind. And I think it's difficult, right?

You're in a big building, loads of shiny things,

you're getting distracted.

Karren, you at one stage were that close to buying a meerkat

with plugholes for eyes.

Very easy to sort of go off the track there. Yeah.

And I think we've all had that thing where you

go for dinner at a restaurant and you have to split the bill

and everyone adds up their own bit and at the end you're ?4 short.

Right. And someone's not added on the... Service charge. Exactly.

So I can totally sympathise with you. Thank you

Was there any part of you that was slightly annoyed with Karren

and the way that she grassed you up? Because...

LAUGHTER

You must have thought...you must have thought you'd nearly got

away with it and Karren went, "Hold on a minute..."

You properly put the boot in.

Alan needs to know everything - that's Alan to me,

Lord Sugar to you, Romesh. Yes, yes.

He needs to know everything.

Well, I've been told! Yeah!

I think that's called thug life, isn't it? That's what it is, yeah.

So, you had trouble with figures last week as well, didn't you,

with the handyman task? Yeah. Do you...?

This started to happen rather regularly.

Were you volunteering to be in charge of sums or...? No.

What was happening?

I think what happens a lot in the tasks is

so many figures are thrown around and someone's like,

"Oh, we need five more of these and actually,

"give them 2.5% off and take this and..."

So sometimes it's not necessarily just the figures themselves,

it's all the noise.

And you're kind of writing down hundreds of different calculations.

Because, for example, the task before was the construction,

when we had the two figures. I think it was a ?100 discrepancy. Mmm.

It's because we made up a figure based on how many hours

we should work and then Brett was like,

"Oh, just chuck on 100 quid and we'll do it like that."

So then you're like, "77... Oh, no, wait." Do you know what I mean?

Now I'm confused. Were you struggling to add 100?

LAUGHTER Yeah, yeah.

It wasn't just your maths that Karren and Lord Sugar weren't too

impressed with, it was your selling skills as well.

Was that a fair comment, do you think? Erm...

I mean, everything's relative, right?

I'm not the best seller in the world.

I had a good day on the first day.

I think I sold more than Scott and as much as Selina

and on the second day as well.

I'm not a salesman naturally but I did... I thought I did an OK job.

I think part of your problem is you don't look like

a discount store dude.

I take that as a compliment!

Well, you look like somebody that's accidentally

wandered in there by mistake, do you know what I mean?

"Might as well sell some stuff while I'm here!"

So, there's a lot of friction within Team Connexus this week.

Now, were you feeling that, particularly, that friction?

It was awful. It was just... Scott and...

I mean, they're lovely, but on certain tasks very easily angered

and I think when you're trying to kind of progress as a team...

Everyone kept talking about teamwork and positivity like we were

at some sort of yoga retreat, but it is important and I think we just...

Everyone was at each other's throats

and as you can see in the episode, everyone was like,

"I want to sell most," and it was like, "Oh, God."

It was almost like it was some sort of competition.

LAUGHTER

What was that...?

What was that flare-up between Scott and Brett? What was all that about?

Because that almost came to fisticuffs, it looked.

Yeah, David Attenborough probably should have narrated that.

"Here we have two male..."

You can clarify for us, Karren - you were there, weren't you? Yup.

Brett, he didn't actually say, "I will smash your face in," did he?

He just said, "Do that again, say that again to me and I'll...?"

That's exactly what happened. Yeah. The tension was really high

and I think this rumour went round the team

that individual sales was much more important than teamwork,

so everyone was then out for themselves

and everyone was trying to side-track everyone's sales and

almost jumping on people's sales, and pressure started to build up.

And Scott was messing around with what things go at the front

and what things don't go at the front and there was just a face-off.

There was a lot of tension between you and Scott

in the boardroom, and afterwards.

Have a look at this.

#Awkward!

What happened there? Did he just walk off?

Yeah, he did. Erm...

We were both really angry at each other.

Scott went for a kind of personal attack,

which was unsubstantiated - he doesn't know me that well.

And I think he got bits of different information from throughout

the house and kind of formulated an attack that wasn't fair.

I thought Scott was bang out of order, actually. Thank you.

He was... He has been such a nice guy throughout the process

and then in that boardroom, he suddenly turned. Yeah.

It was like he thought, "I've had a bad task here.

"Am I in the firing line?"

And then he's spotted that he could attack you

and then he just went for you non stop. It was insane.

Well, Scott certainly had a lot to handle as project manager,

and it didn't look like he enjoyed himself very much.

Let's have a look at this.

Scott has not had an easy day. Right here.

Anyone got a smartphone, iPhone? No.

You don't know what I'm going to say!

Anyone want to buy any Maltesers or, well, body wash or anything? No?

It's all right, I'll talk to myself.

OK, right.

'Everyone thinks their idea's the best and it has to be that way.'

Everyone's annoying me in some aspect.

I think there's a heated moment of just everyone just...

Having a go at you, Scott?

I sold the most yesterday.

OK, you did sell the most yesterday but this morning you didn't.

Whatever, whatever. I want that stuff in there.

Speak to me like that again... This is horrendous.

It wasn't pleasant, though, was it?

It wasn't a very nice experience.

And before you write in, they were talking about the task,

not visiting Manchester.

What did you think of Scott as project manager?

It felt like Scott had a very personal week

and took everything very personally.

Even people walking by, strangers that didn't want to buy

a selfie stick, he really took it to heart.

"Oh, you don't want a selfie stick? Whatever!"

He'd gone borderline insane.

Like, he was on the escalator, tried to sell Maltesers and then went,

"Oh, don't talk to me."

How is that transaction going to go forward?

How are you going to do the change? What are you talking about, Scott?

People are not...

There's no transaction that's been done on an escalator.

Just shove a PDQ at them.

They're not being rude, they think you're mental. Nobody...

Karren, you were full of praise for Vana and Brett.

Well, as you've all alluded to, the dynamics in the team didn't work.

Scott talked himself more and more into a negative, you know, mind-set

and that spilled over into the team.

But saying that, Brett and Vana were always upbeat.

They were always pushing forward.

I think they realised, if no-one else did, that actually

if your team win, neither of you are ever being taken

back into the boardroom and I think the rest of the team sort of forgot.

Wasn't Brett sort of the one who said,

"Hang on a second, it's every man for himself here?"

He's obsessed with statistics, obviously,

and knows that Lord Sugar has got some spreadsheets

where he's clocking up sales and wins and worries that it's

going to come back and bite him when he's in the boardroom.

But when they were sent out to go and do the marketing,

they did go and do it.

They didn't stand their ground like some others who didn't want

to be told where to go and continually kept on and on

and moaning, which actually brought the whole morale down.

They didn't like it, but off they went and they did it

and they did it to the best of their ability.

Sam, you said Selina was very negative

but she didn't look any worse than any of the others.

I just think maybe in terms of the dynamic of that group

with Selina and Scott.

I certainly found it harder working with the two of them

in conjunction than when I was working with Brett and Vana.

Yes, not so easygoing, as it were.

You hate her, don't you? No!

I don't know what's going on with Selina cos I watch the show

and I quite like her, but everyone seems to really hate her.

I think the problem is her resting face is quite, kind of, grumpy.

I can't imagine what that would be like to live with, Jack.

LAUGHTER

I...

In fairness to Selina, she got taken away from selling twice,

so she was a bit upset by that. That's fair enough, isn't it?

She felt she was being perhaps manipulated in a way

she didn't want to go in. What were your thoughts on Selina in that task?

Well, she really made her feelings known.

But I think there are times in business when you're asked to do...

Everyone is asked to do things you don't particularly want to do.

Things that you, you know,

don't think you're particularly skilled at.

But if your tasked with doing them, you have to make your point and then

get on with it and that's the point I was making about Brett and Vana.

They made their point but they actually got on with it

and they carried the task through,

whereas Selina has this hangover effect of carrying on

the disappointment with people and her body language was...

She never gets listened to, though, that's the thing.

I think there's a slight boy who cried wolf thing with her

where she can sometimes make good points,

but because it's come from Selina, everyone goes,

"We're not interested, we don't care about your points..."

But then, is that not a learning experience about how to

communicate with people and how to come across to get yourself heard?

She's not a wordsmith, Sam.

But let's move on to the winning team,

Team Versatile, with their project manager Gary.

He came in for some criticism from Claude

but he delivered a fairly impressive victory.

How did you think he got on?

Well, Gary is Mr Corporate.

He's spent his entire life in retail and boy, did it show.

I mean, he was talking about customer journey,

the halo effect of lowering prices,

and actually, he was very good at it.

I absolutely loved Gary. I thought he was brilliant

and I think that he's got a great enthusiasm.

I'm really pleased that he did deliver, not least of all because

he gets to keep the nickname The Postman,

which would have sadly gone if he'd lost the task.

But also, just his enthusiasm about setting up those zones

and those areas, asking,

"Does a jammy dodger go with washing powder?"

Unless you're in a Heston Blumenthal restaurant, no, it doesn't.

But in that case, nice.

No-one, including Gary,

seemed to understand the concept of a loss leader.

I think they soon realised,

cos they were a couple of doors down from a very well-known pound shop.

Yes. I was trying to think of what it was called. A Land Of Pounds?

LAUGHTER Yeah, exactly.

And people were coming in, going, "Oh, no, it's cheaper over there,"

so they had some market pressure that they had to respond to.

But they actually chose very good products.

The store looked pretty full, whereas ours looked...

I mean, not ours, yours. Yeah, sparse.

Did he do the right thing by going off to restock two hours

before they were going to close? Do you think that was a smart move?

No, I don't, because actually there was some items of theirs

that were sold out,

so had they gone earlier in the day they would have got the margin.

But actually, the whole point of this task is, it's the cash

you have, the stock you have that is the value of the business.

I think another instant sacking moment is when

David asked for clarification on how much the item was

that that guy bought from the pound shop.

LAUGHTER

"That was ?1?" "Yes, mate, clue's in the name of the place."

Well, although Team Versatile won the task, there is

a certain problematic relationship within the team which has been

building for a couple of weeks now.

I wonder if you can guess who I'm talking about?

Hello, ladies, how are you doing? No, Richard!

We're selling today lovely candles.

I think the thing with Richard

is that he thinks he's better that everyone.

Who's that? It's Richard, how are you doing?

What we wanted to do is... Can you stop talking one second, Richard?

Is David there, please?

I think Charleine absolutely doesn't trust me.

Richard, because he is a little bit irritating, he really gives you

that extra edge because you just want to smash him all the time.

Do that again, Charleine. Mate, it's all about selling the maximum.

All we want to do is... Charleine, first of all...

At the end of the day, you snooze, you lose.

Honestly, she is a nightmare to work with.

Just be a little bit more professional, Charleine.

Yeah, you too!

Do you fancy, when you move to London, getting a place round there?

Charleine? Yeah, not with you, though, Richard.

Oh, please move in together! That's a reality show I'd watch.

Karren - Charleine and Richard,

they just seem to rub each other up the wrong way the whole time.

What did you think of that? What did you make of it?

They're both very competitive people and they both really want to win.

I mean, their dynamic is quite similar,

although different ways of translating that style.

And each one wants to get the upper hand on the other.

So Charleine saying,

"I don't want to speak to you, I'll speak to David,"

to try and put Richard down.

Richard's putting Charleine down by questioning her professionality.

So I think just sometimes you get personality clashes.

In the case of Richard, he's obviously very effective

but is difficult to work with.

Does that...? Would that work against him in the process?

Would Lord Sugar - as you've made it clear I need to refer to him as -

would Lord Sugar put that into consideration?

Would he think, "He's really effective and it doesn't matter

"that he's working well in a team

"cos he's going to be a leader going forward?"

Well, I think that Alan would also look at it to say

it's not a personality contest.

But you clearly much prefer to work with people you get on with,

that you like, than people you don't like.

But Richard hides behind this level of professionalism.

He's always very in sync with what he's thinking,

he's very careful about how he approaches things, and I'd

like to see a bit more Richard and a little bit less textbook manager.

In fairness, Richard did ask Charleine to be more professional.

You know, like this.

Hi, madam. Let me tell you what this is all about.

We are Manchester's newest discount store.

I've even got a T-shirt saying it. It means it's true.

Come with me and ice skate.

What was that?! That was terrifying.

Hiya, madam, how are you doing? Get the fishing rod out.

You're walking so fast!

I'm an ice skater, how are you?

He so reminds me of David Brent.

See ya later!

Not if they see you first, Richard.

Matt, do you think the people of Manchester will ever

recover from that? I really like his technique.

I think it would have been better

if he'd tried to incorporate some of the products he was selling,

otherwise you think, "Are you doing an ice rink?

"Is there one of those on at the moment?

"Is this guy selling invisible fishing rods?

"What's the plan, here?"

Karren, you would know this - you're a very successful businesswoman.

Is that a popular opening gambit?

"Hello, I'm an ice skater. How are you?"

It's not a line I've used myself, I have to admit.

But I know it looks a bit cheesy and I know it feels a bit cringey,

but in that type of environment,

when you need to engage with people

and you're only open for a limited time,

you have to use all your energy and all your techniques,

no matter how bizarre,

to create a little bit of something around your shop and get people in.

And that's one of the reasons why they won, actually.

Because people got so...

You know, watching Richard skating,

people went in and they bought something.

And unfortunately, the team I was watching didn't have the same

technique and didn't draw enough people.

Didn't do the same thing, OK.

So, Sam, although this week didn't go so well for you,

probably your high point was week five when you masterminded,

really, the wonderful Snottydink when writing children's books.

Here it is. APPLAUSE

I mean, tell us about that task.

At the time you said you weren't that pleased with it.

The thing about that task was I was upset on the task

because we lost and because of that one of my team had to go home,

which I didn't feel we deserved... anyone deserved to go home.

That's why I was sad. But, no, the book itself, I was...

I'm proud of what we created.

I think it kind of delivers on what we wanted.

It's got a strong moral message, it's well written,

it's educational... It is.

You agonised over it and, Karren,

you witnessed the rather torturous birth of Snottydink.

I mean, you tortured yourself over every word,

the positioning of every word, every illustration.

I think, actually, it's a pretty good book.

It's a pretty good book for a one-day task.

Mm-hmm, OK. Well, you know what?

Although your maths may have let you down a couple of times,

your words certainly never did.

Prithee, look upon this.

I am a wordsmith. A story dies without good plot.

The Barbican Centre has like, got a theatre, cinemas...

In my wildest dreams, let's say that it's direct a play

and sell tickets to it.

He's very theatrical.

So, my advice when you're talking about the calamari,

you want to bring out, you know, the spicing of the cayenne,

the sourness of the lemon...

He likes to kind of complain about things

like he's some sort of Shakespearean hero.

I think there's the sort of shadow of the unused calamari

hanging over us.

Sam did try and teach the likes of Brett and Mergim how to speak,

you know, a bit more correct.

Sam always gives eloclusion...

Sam always gives...those lessons to people.

Elocution lessons. They don't always work, though, do they, David?

So, you're a lover of language.

Did you find that that helped in the process,

apart from writing Snottydink?

Erm...

In this process, maybe not,

but I think in life in general, absolutely.

I've always kind of professed the virtues of language

and communication and I think the world dies without language.

It's how we connect as humans, mostly.

You probably found a kindred spirit in Brett, didn't you?

Do you know what I will say in Brett's defence?

Potentially, the amount of neologisms

and coinages that Brett comes up with... Mmm.

Maybe...we might claim, you know, herald him as the new Shakespeare.

Like, he is creating his own blooming dictionary.

He's quite creative, isn't he?

Sorry, the day that we declare Brett as the new Shakespeare is

the beginning of the apocalypse.

Probably, yeah.

So, Sam, sadly Lord Sugar won't be investing in your business plan

but let's see what advice he's got for you for the future.

Sam, a charming chap.

Highly intelligent and a lot of academic qualifications.

Education is a fantastic tool but of course the most important thing,

and particularly in business, is life experience.

And you can't pass exams, really, about business -

you learn most of it from actually doing it.

I found him very creative and that can be a very,

very useful tool for him in future.

He needs to make sure he applies it in a way which can be

commercially viable, and that's something which, you know,

he needs to turn his attention to.

So, some good advice there. Lord Sugar really rates you.

It's clear he finds you really creative but you need to find a way

of making it more commercially viable.

Is that a fair comment? Is that something you'll take on board?

Yeah, I think his comments about life experience...

I'm 24 and I've only...

I was at university, so I've only had two years out of it.

So I think that's valid.

I think creativity and commercialism is a difficult line to tread.

Yeah, difficult to get the balance right. What is next for you, Sam?

What are you up to? I'm starting a tutoring company.

It works on a sub-contractor basis,

so we have different tutors that we send out.

So I am not tutoring anyone in maths.

LAUGHTER It's OK.

Well, it's time to find out

whether we agree that Sam was the right person to be fired tonight.

Karren, do you agree that Lord Sugar was right to get rid

of Sam at that point? I do.

I think, as Alan said, you are absolutely charming,

but you've gone as far as you can go in this process

and I think it was the right decision.

OK. Matt.

I would say no. You should have stayed - I'd like to have seen

more of you on the telly and I think Brett should have gone.

His time is coming up and I think he might be due a firing sometime soon.

Hmm. Romesh. Erm, I don't think you should have been fired, Sam.

I think you're absolutely wonderful. Aww, thanks.

That's nice. There's a lot of support for you there.

APPLAUSE

I'm going to cry!

But, I mean, you weren't great on this task.

But I do think that arguably Scott should have gone

because I thought he managed the task pretty badly.

Well, let's onto the audience vote.

If you agree with Lord Sugar, hold up fired. If you don't, hold up hired.

That is 50-50, I would say.

Now, I know maths isn't your strong point...

That means... Yeah, there's a lot of support for you in the room.

You've been a fantastic candidate on The Apprentice,

a real memorable candidate, I would say, and a lovely guest on the show.

As you know, nobody leaves You're Fired empty handed.

So, I had a thought what I could do.

I went back to the candidates' house and I unscrewed this off the walls.

I felt you should really keep it. Oh, wow. It says...

That's for you, hope you enjoy that.

APPLAUSE

Well, Sam, you've given us some great moments.

Let's have a look at your highlights.

Yeah, I like this idea. Is that OK for you guys?

How awesome would that be?

Ii think integrity is the most important part of life.

Merci beaucoup!

Perhaps this could be the time for you to show your true talent, Sam.

He is absolutely phenomenal.

What about Manny Moist? Ugh!

Oh! What if it's...? Oh, my goodness!

Congratulations.

When he speaks, you really want to listen.

Calamari, there's no waste because you sell the tentacles,

you do the body, everything.

Ooh, yeah, desert-defeating hair.

Helps to retain the moisture in your hair.

Yes! That is the one, Sam.

So cool!

Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Curry!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, that's all for tonight. Thank you to Karren, Matt and Romesh.

So, it's onto task number eight for our candidates.

What you need to do is to throw the birthday child a party to remember.

Fantastic. I don't have children and I don't like them.

So we need to get something to put in the party bag. Ooh, zombies!

On your marks, get set...

Go!

Yeah! Party Bus! Let's get the party started.

Doof, doof, doof!

I think they've forgotten this is a party.

Shit.

We're literally having a disaster.

THEY CHEER

Who wants bacon?

First rule of party planning is don't poison the client.

And then we go...

I don't want any help.

They didn't miss a trick, except one.

And the balloon. Thank you very much!

Go to BBC iPlayer to see exclusive clips of Matt's Apprentice

episode summaries, all in rap form, obviously.

We'll be back next Wednesday at ten for more You're Fired

when alongside Romesh, I'll be joined by Gabby Logan

and expert events planner Anabel Fielding. Goodnight.

APPLAUSE

Battery life on smartphones is the best thing about them,

cos when the battery runs out, then I'll interact with my kids.

Be down the park, I'm like, "That's run out.

"Better find out where they're going with those old men."